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08 Jun 08 - 11:52 AM (#2360696) Subject: HELP ... 'Fat Songs? From: Deckman I have a dear friend who meets weekly with a group of "overweight" women. She's been asking me for several months to come and sing "fat songs" at one of their meetings. I have declined so far, largely (there's a pun there) because I can't think of any "fat songs." Does anyone have any suggestions? Bob(deckman)Nelson (still skinny in Seattle) |
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08 Jun 08 - 12:01 PM (#2360702) Subject: RE: HELP ... 'Fat Songs? From: Melissa That sounds like a dangerous gig! Huggin' and Chalkin' (maybe called something like Rosabell McGee?) is only moderately offensive |
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08 Jun 08 - 12:08 PM (#2360708) Subject: RE: HELP ... 'Fat Songs? From: Cats There's always, 'Sixteen Stone' which you will find on another thread and 'Big Knicker Blues'. Both definitely worth doing. |
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08 Jun 08 - 12:11 PM (#2360710) Subject: RE: HELP ... 'Fat Songs? From: Melissa Grow, Mrs Goldfarb--Alan Sherman, I think Too Much Butt (for One Pair of Jeans) |
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08 Jun 08 - 12:12 PM (#2360712) Subject: RE: HELP ... 'Fat Songs? From: Marion Fat-Bottomed Girls by Queen. |
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08 Jun 08 - 12:14 PM (#2360713) Subject: RE: HELP ... 'Fat Songs? From: Marion There's a song I've heard where the hook line was something like "I'm built for comfort not for speed..". Maybe somebody else can supply a source or correct title. |
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08 Jun 08 - 12:26 PM (#2360721) Subject: Lyr Add: SIXTEEN STONE and ALL AROUND MY FAT From: lady penelope Sounds like one of the verses from '16 stone'. SIXTEEN STONE (Hazel Absalom) She weighs 16 stone and what do you get, A whole lot of woman and that's a fact. Take a closer look, you must agree, There's no sharp corner on a woman like me! You can't cuddle up to a bag of bones, If her ribs stick out, leave her well alone. We've a soft welcome for a man in need, We're surely built for comfort if not for speed! Cho: She weighs 16 stone and what do you get, A whole lot of woman and that's a fact. Take a closer look, you must agree, There are no sharp corners on a woman like me! Well if you've seen more meat on a greasy spoon, She won't keep you warm, get rid of her soon. So come on guys, if you're down in the dumps, Better get your arm around a gal with bumps. Well the magazines say be skin and bone, But big girls never have to sleep alone, We don't disappear when we turn on our side, And there's plenty of suspension for a bumpy ride Well if you see us coming better step aside, A lot of men didn't and a lot of men died. One gives you desire, the other a thrill, If the tall ones don't get you then the small ones will! By Liz the Sqeak? @feminist filename[ STONE16 Then there's the parody I wrote.... All Around My Fat Lyrics by: Penny Ward (submitted by Micca) Tune: All around my hat (Traditional) Chorus: All around my fat I will wear the Playtex Girdle And all around my fat For an evening and a day And if anyone should ask me The reason why I'm wearing it It's all for my true love Who thinks I'm built this way Verse 1 Take half a pound of talcum And a small jar of Vaseline A shoehorn comes in handy It's the biggest you've ever seen! You put it all together And you will plainly see I'm a different shape completely And in abject agony Chorus Verse 2 The other night he bought me A small box of lingerie All frothy lace and satin The colour of ivory I went to change and left him Anticipating hedony So much for Janet Reger I can't get them past my knees! Chorus Verse3 Fare thee well Weight Watchers And fare the well the step class Three stone have I gained And my waistline I have lost I'll eat and I'll be merry Dispense with guilt and calories I'll stuff the sodding 'F' plan It's a fry up for me tea! |
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08 Jun 08 - 12:33 PM (#2360729) Subject: RE: HELP ... 'Fat Songs? From: pdq "Chicken Cordon Bleus" by Steve Goodman ("Fat is where it's at...") |
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08 Jun 08 - 12:40 PM (#2360733) Subject: RE: HELP ... 'Fat Songs? From: Deckman WOW ...I'M IMPRESSED! And yes ... it certainly does sound like a very dangerous gig. Keep 'em coming, and thanks! Bob |
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08 Jun 08 - 01:15 PM (#2360750) Subject: RE: HELP ... 'Fat Songs? From: SINSULL Too Fat Polka...I don't want her, you can have her, She's too fat for me...Arthur Godfrey. |
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08 Jun 08 - 01:23 PM (#2360752) Subject: RE: HELP ... 'Fat Songs? From: meself "Built for Comfort" and "Three Hundred Pounds of Joy" by Howlin' Wolf (recorded by him, anyway). A little more positive than Too Fat Polka! |
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08 Jun 08 - 01:30 PM (#2360758) Subject: RE: HELP ... 'Fat Songs? From: Bee Deckman, check out this link. http://www.dimensionsmagazine.com/dimtext/kjn/lyrics/song.htm |
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08 Jun 08 - 01:53 PM (#2360775) Subject: RE: HELP ... 'Fat Songs? From: meself By the way - do you REALLY think this whole thing is a good idea ... ? |
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08 Jun 08 - 01:59 PM (#2360783) Subject: Lyr Add: SOFT AND ROUND (Grit Laskin) From: Barbara SOFT AND ROUND (Grit Laskin) As recorded by Grit Laskin on “A Few Simple Words,” 1996, which you can hear on Spotify.
1. When a tire is flat, we don't like that.
CHORUS: Let my stomach be soft and round,
2. Now, once upon a time when humans were new,
3. There were whalebone corsets to hold the body in.
4. I once ate only carrots and lost six pounds,
5. So I gave up on diets and Nautilus machines. |
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08 Jun 08 - 02:17 PM (#2360803) Subject: RE: HELP ... 'Fat Songs? From: mg I am the man the very fat Man That Waters the Workers' Beer our boss was a fine man down to the ground he married a woman six feet round [Drill Ye Tarriers Drill] |
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08 Jun 08 - 02:29 PM (#2360812) Subject: Lyr Add: CHOLESTEROL (Adam McNaughtan) From: bfdk Judy Small's The Advertising Game and Cholesterol (Adam McNaughtan) I've been takin' advice on right things to eat Since shortly before I was born Like the National dried milk and the cod liver oil And powdered rhinoceros horn Well, in those days they told us tae lay aff the starches The sugars, potatoes and breid Now they've done a U-turn, and they tell us these things Will give us the fibre we need Cholesterol, cholesterol My chance of survival is small But I'll no get a dosa anorexia nervosa For I love my cholesterol Well, I'm not going to take the advice that they make About changin' the way I should eat Like cuttin' oot cheese, and no chips if ye please No chocolates, no ice cream, no English beef Well they tell us to give up these goodies below And they offer us pie in the sky Ah, well semi-skimmed milk may diminish my bulk But I'll take double cream till I die Cholesterol, cholesterol My chance of survival is small For the cream I consume it could lead to my doom For I love my cholesterol Well I don't mind them probin' in my haemoglobin If it's just for a case history But it puts the Health Visitor into a tizz It's her duty tae try and save me She says fresh fruit and yogurt's a lovely dessert Why don't you give it a try Well I don't give a hoot for her yogurt and fruit I'll take Black Forest gateau and die Cholesterol, cholesterol My chance of survival is small For the way that I dine, I'm on course for angina But I love my cholesterol Cholesterol, cholesterol My chance of survival is small But I'll no get a dosa anorexia nervosa For I love my cholesterol might fit your requirements ;-) Best wishes, Bente |
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08 Jun 08 - 02:35 PM (#2360819) Subject: Lyr Add: THE CHOCOLATE'S NOT FOR YOU From: Liz the Squeak My name only appears on '16 stone' because I have been known to sing it on occasion and the words were collected from me. My own contribution is thus, written one Sunday evening and developed over the Internet by JackoNZ.
Oh the chocolate's not for you, my chubby lassie o, X2 |
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08 Jun 08 - 04:02 PM (#2360886) Subject: RE: HELP ... 'Fat Songs? From: Bat Goddess Cushy McCoy -- based on but different from Cushy Butterfield. "She's a big lass and a bonny lass And she'll make your head spin. Old Cushy's in fine shape For the shape that she's in." I sing it -- got it from the Irish Rovers back in the '70s. Linn |
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08 Jun 08 - 04:09 PM (#2360891) Subject: Lyr Add: THE YOUNG WOMAN FROM THE COUNTRY From: Bee Here, I've written an instant 'old ballad' for the occasion. ;-D The Young Woman from the Country I was the child of a farmer brave He worked himself to an early grave Said I this farming's not for me And I roved off to the grand citee When I got there, what did I see So many maids, but there's none like me Around their waist you could set a ring That round my throat would make me sing Their hips are sharp as a well honed knife No farmer lad would take these to wife Such eely arms no calf could hold No fruits could carry when they are sold Their legs like twigs of the willow green No muscle there that could be seen How could such walk all the miles to town When need there was, without falling down? Above their thigh, no curve so round No softness there could a lad have found Their breasts so high as to meet their chin No room for even a pretty pin. But I so plump as a partridge brown My legs so round push against my gown Below my waist my hips do swell And all the rest is round as well Those maids did laugh when I wandered out But mirth and scorn did not me rout I stood up proud, and proud was I And here's the reason, I'll tell you why When I walked out to enjoy the park Those city lads my progress mark Though skin and bone their ladies be Their longing eyes do follow me. |
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08 Jun 08 - 04:17 PM (#2360897) Subject: RE: HELP ... 'Fat Songs? From: bubblyrat Now Sarah's my girlfriend and I loves her so, 'though her's big as a haystack, and forty years old- Farmer Brown says she's enormous, and loud he did scoff, 'cause you has to leave a chalk-mark to show where you left off! From : "Dorset Is Beautiful", as sung by The Yetties. |
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08 Jun 08 - 04:34 PM (#2360913) Subject: RE: HELP ... 'Fat Songs? From: meself There's a song that Ma Rainey recorded that begins, "Charleston, South Carolina, that's where I born". A couple of verses I vaguely remember: I'm a big, fat mama, got the meat hanging on my bones, I'm a big, fat mama, got the meat hanging on my bones, Every time I shake it, some skinny gal loses her [own?]. Goin' back to Charleston, gonna get my hambone boiled, Goin' back to Charleston, gonna get my hambone boiled, These northern men gonna let my hambone spoil. |
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08 Jun 08 - 04:34 PM (#2360914) Subject: RE: HELP ... 'Fat Songs? From: GUEST,cStu John Lee Hooker's "Big Legs, Tight Skirt" ('Bout to drive me out of my mind) Louis Jordan's "I Like 'Em Fat Like That" And what's that song that Donkey sings to the Dragon at the Karoake on Shrek 1 "I Like Big Butts" or similar 8~) |
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08 Jun 08 - 04:40 PM (#2360916) Subject: RE: HELP ... 'Fat Songs? From: Megan L Ah Liz we will miss yer dulcet tones on the Chocolate song at the McMudgather this year |
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08 Jun 08 - 05:29 PM (#2360952) Subject: RE: HELP ... 'Fat Songs? From: Artful Codger Uncle Bonsai: "Fat Boys": Skinny boys got nothin' to lean against in bed, Bony arms and shoulders only bruise my head... You get the gist. The also have one called "Another Fat Song", but not quite as complimentary. |
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08 Jun 08 - 05:31 PM (#2360956) Subject: Lyr Add: HUGGIN' AND CHALKIN' (from Johnny Mercer) From: mrmoe by Johnny Mercer I gotta gal that's mighty sweet, With blue eyes and tiny feet. Her name is Rosabelle Magee, And she tips the scale at three o three. Oh! Gee, but ain't it grand to have a girl so big and fat That when you hug 'er you don't know where you're at? You have to take a piece of chalk in your hand And hug a way and chalk a mark to see where you began. One day, when I was a-huggin' and a-chalkin' And a-chalkin' and a-huggin' away, When I met another fella with some chalk in his hand, Comin' around the other way, 'round the mountain, Comin' around the other way. Nobody ever said I'm weak. My bones don't ache and my joints creak. But I grow absolutely limp, Ev'ry time I kiss my baby blimp. Oh! One day I had a yen for someone leaner, She was meaner than a mink in a pen. So I left her now I'm happy as a fella could be, Huggin' and chalkin' in once again, 'round my Rosie, Huggin' and chalkin' in once again. One day I was a-huggin' and a-chalkin' and a-beggin' her to be my bride, When I met another fella with some chalk in his hand Comin' around the other side of the mountain, Comin' around the other side. |
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08 Jun 08 - 06:11 PM (#2360978) Subject: RE: HELP ... 'Fat Songs? From: Jim Dixon HUGGIN' AND CHALKIN' is indeed a great one. It is also very musically interesting. Lyrics have been posted several times: here, here, and here. Don Edrington's Big Band & Swing Era Popular Music Page has a sound file of a performance by Hoagy Carmichael. Hey, being overweight isn't strictly a women's problem. Aren't there any songs about fat MEN? |
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08 Jun 08 - 06:36 PM (#2360993) Subject: RE: HELP ... 'Fat Songs? From: Bee I think there are a few in that linked list I posted up-thread, Jim. ;-) |
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08 Jun 08 - 06:38 PM (#2360994) Subject: RE: HELP ... 'Fat Songs? From: GUEST,Marion Merle Travis recorded "Fat Gal"... "keeps me warm in the winter, shady in the summertime, that's what I like about that fat gal of mine." The rap song cStu mentioned that starts, "I like big butts and I cannot lie..." is titled Baby Got Back. |
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08 Jun 08 - 07:13 PM (#2361010) Subject: RE: HELP ... 'Fat Songs? From: Jack Campin The only link to this I can see on the web is a Myspace one (fuck that) but the Edinburgh singer Freeloadin' Frank has a wonderful song "Cellulite" (in praise thereof). |
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08 Jun 08 - 08:38 PM (#2361045) Subject: RE: HELP ... 'Fat Songs? From: maire-aine It took me a while to remember this man's name, but I finally pulled it out of long-term storage. In the early 1970s, VICTOR BUONO released some comedy record albums that poked fun at his extra-large stature, and a book of comic poetry called It Could Be Verse. He would sometimes recite his poetry on guest appearances on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. The most popular of his poems was "Fat Man's Prayer". It included many widely quoted stanzas such as: We are what we eat, said a wise old man, And Lord, if that's true, I'm a garbage can! At oleomargarine I'll never mutter, For the road to hell is spread with butter. And cake is cursed, and cream is awful, And Satan is hiding in every waffle. Give me this day my daily slice - But cut it thin and toast it twice. |
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08 Jun 08 - 09:05 PM (#2361055) Subject: Lyr Add: ROLLER DERBY QUEEN (Jim Croce) From: Abby Sale Most Fat songs seem to be 'soft & fat' but not all. No. Roller Derby Queen From the album: *The 50th Anniversary Collection* Songwriter: Croce, Jim Label: Saja Gonna tell you a story that you won't believe But I fell in love last Friday evenin' With a girl I saw on a bar room TV screen Well, I was just gettin' ready to get my hat When she caught my eye and I put it back And I ordered myself couple o' more shots and beers The night that I fell in love with a Roller Derby Queen Around and round, oh, round and round The meanest hunk o' woman that anybody ever seen Down in the arena She was five foot six and two fifteen A bleached-blonde mama with a streak of mean She knew how to knuckle and she knew how to scuffle and fight And the roller derby program said That she was built like a 'fridgerator with a head Her fans call her "Tuffy" but all her buddies called her "Spike" You know that I fell in love with a Roller Derby Queen Around and round, oh, round and round The meanest hunk o' woman that anybody ever seen Down in the arena Round and round, go round and round Round and round, go round and round Round and round Well, I could not help it but to fall in love With this heavy-duty woman I been speakin' of Things looked kind of bad until the day she skated into my life Well, she might be nasty, she might be fat But I never met a person who would tell her that She's my big blonde bomber, my heavy handed Hackensack mama And I fell in love with a Roller Derby Queen Around and round, oh round and round The meanest hunk o' woman that anybody ever seen Down in the arena Round and round, go round and round Round and round, go round and round Round and round Round and round, go round and round Round and round, go round and round Round and round Round and round, go round and round Round and round, go round and round Round and round © TIME IN A BOTTLE© CROCE PUBLISHING Lyrics provided by Gracenote (chords available at http://www.guntheranderson.com/v/data/rollerde.htm - There'll be an mp3 of it somewhere, too.) (We is big roller derby fans. Carolina Rollergirls (Raleigh, NC) is seeded 3rd in the country - out of about 250 leagues. Good stuff. Just ask me.) |
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08 Jun 08 - 09:15 PM (#2361059) Subject: RE: HELP ... 'Fat Songs? From: Melissa What if your butt was gone--Carla Ulbrich |
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08 Jun 08 - 09:38 PM (#2361074) Subject: RE: HELP ... 'Fat Songs? From: GUEST "Fat Girls". I am having trouble creating the link. Use Quick Links -> Old Advanced Forum Search to find it. |
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08 Jun 08 - 11:52 PM (#2361109) Subject: RE: HELP ... 'Fat Songs? From: Art Thieme Just recently I've been thinking of proposing a new show to NPR. It would be called "Speaking Of Fat!" Art |
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09 Jun 08 - 02:00 AM (#2361144) Subject: RE: HELP ... 'Fat Songs? From: Artful Codger I heard there's dog fat on the tucker box... |
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09 Jun 08 - 02:59 AM (#2361164) Subject: RE: HELP ... 'Fat Songs? From: Liz the Squeak Then there was that Caribbean song a few years ago 'Big pantie woman'... LTS |
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09 Jun 08 - 06:03 AM (#2361243) Subject: Lyr Add: IN THE GATEAU From: Acorn4 In the Gateau (And those stairs creak) On a cold and dark November night I creep down to the kitchen and my eyes Catch sight of the gateau. (And those scales don't lie) Though I'm supposed to be losing weight There staring at me on the plate is the gateau. You gotta understand, How I feel those hunger pangs People don't you see I can't live on lettuce and celery Or I'm going to completely fade away. (As my stomach churns), Though I might get broad around the beam, There's death by chocolate and treble cream in the gateau. (This diet's against the rules). Though I know my waistline's gonna pay the price There are 3 million calories in every slice of the gateau. I know my family doctor is the cause of all my trials I can't live on rice cakes that taste like Polystyrene tiles. (And those scales don't lie.) Though I've destroyed the evidence I know I'm gonna feel the consequences of the gateau, (And those scales don't lie) As I put the empty plate back on that shelf, I think even old Elvis himself was partial to the gateau (And those scales don't lie) I don't want to live on watercress And you can't get will power on the NHS, Gimme the gateau. (And those scales don't lie). Elvis is now leaving the building..... written by Dave Taylor to tune of "In the Ghetto". Feel free to use - let me know if you want an MP3 |
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09 Jun 08 - 08:51 AM (#2361323) Subject: RE: HELP ... 'Fat Songs? From: lady penelope ROTFLMAO!!!! |
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09 Jun 08 - 09:29 AM (#2361356) Subject: RE: HELP ... 'Fat Songs? From: melodeonboy "You're Much Too Fat and That's That" - Louis Jordan "Big Fats" - Canned Heat "Skin and Bone" - The Kinks |
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09 Jun 08 - 09:36 AM (#2361362) Subject: RE: HELP ... 'Fat Songs? From: Deckman I have decided to vacate this thread. I want to thank you all for your fine input. I had a long discussion with my friend who requested that I sing some "fat songs." When we started adding up the collective weight of the 7 ladies, we both decided that it certainly made perfect sense for me to avoid this crowd. I wasn't worried so much for own personal safety, but after all, my guitar is quite vaulable! CHEERS, Bob(deckman)Nelson |
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09 Jun 08 - 09:47 AM (#2361367) Subject: RE: HELP ... 'Fat Songs? From: beardedbruce +Hail To Thee, Fat Person - Alan Sherman I would like to explain how it came to pass that I got fat. Ladies and gentlemen, I got fat as a public service. When I was a child, my mother said to me, "Clean the plate, because children are starving in Europe." And I might point out that that was years before the Marshall Plan was ever heard of. So I would clean the plate, four, five, six times a day. Because somehow I felt that that would keep the children from starving in Europe. But I was wrong. They kept starving. And I got fat. So I would like to say to every one of you who is either skinny or in some other way normal-- When you walk out on the street, and you see a fat person, Do not scoff at that fat person. Oh no! Take off your hat. Hold it over your heart. Lift your chin up high. And in a proud, happy voice say to him, "Hail to thee, fat person! You kept us out of war!" |
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09 Jun 08 - 12:22 PM (#2361520) Subject: RE: HELP ... 'Fat Songs? From: Richard Bridge THere was a reggae hit a few years back Hey fatty Bum-bum Hey Sugar Dumplng (etc) And wsn't there another Ma Rainey about shaking her Jelly ROll? And surely there is a fat verse in Beautiful Delilah Oh, and Big LEg Ida in Cocaine Blues |
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09 Jun 08 - 03:01 PM (#2361652) Subject: Lyr Add: WE’RE THE MOST + FAT MAN’S PRAYER (Buono) From: reggie miles Though they might be worked into musical presentations, these are not songs but recitations. Enjoy! Reg WE’RE THE MOST As recorded by Victor Buono on “Heavy,” 1971, which you can hear on Spotify. I have grown so weak and weary Of the silly modern theory That in order to be known as chic, One must not look well fed. According to the magazines, If one cannot wear tapered jeans, One might as well wear saddlebags And tennis shoes and oily rags, Or simply buy a comfy shroud, ’Cause socially you’re dead. Now just because some lazy gland Has gotten somewhat out of hand And caused me to expand Into the shape in which you find me, I see no cause to hide my face. I've got my share of manly grace. It just got wadded in one place, And some got stuck behind me. To me, it's inconceivable That one could find believable The thought that one must have a shape Exactly like his chum. I simply won't apologize For being of a grander size. When everyone's a seedless grape, It's great to be a plum. If the girls refuse to dig me Just because I'm not a pygmy, Then I try to make 'em see my view That beauty comes in barrels too, And precious gemstones grow in clumps, And treasures can be found in dumps, And silver hides in heaps. To heck with all your fashion trends! I'd rather be myself, my friends. I love to be a limousine when all the rest are Jeeps. FAT MAN’S PRAYER As recorded by Victor Buono on “Heavy,” 1971, which you can hear on Spotify. Lord, my soul is ripped with riot, Incited by my wicked diet. “We are what we eat,” said a wise old man. Lord, if that’s true, I’m a garbage can. I want to rise on Judgment Day; that’s plain, But at my present weight, I’ll need a crane, So grant me strength that I may not fall Into the clutches of cholesterol. May my flesh with carrot curls be sated, That my soul may be polyunsaturated, And show me the light, that I may bear witness To the President’s Council on Physical Fitness. At oleomargarine, I’ll never mutter, For the road to hell is spread with butter, And cream is cursed, and cake is awful, And Satan is hiding in every waffle. Mephistopheles lurks in provolone. The devil is in each slice of baloney. Beelzebub is a chocolate drop, And Lucifer is a lollipop. Give me this day my daily slice, But cut it thin and toast it twice. I beg upon my dimpled knees: Deliver me from jujubes, And when my days of trial are done, And my war with malted milks is won, Let me stand with the saints in heaven In a shining robe, size thirty-seven. I can do it, Lord, if you’ll show to me The virtues of lettuce and celery, If you’ll teach me the evil of mayonnaise, The sinfulness of hollandaise, And pasta à la milanaise, Potatoes à la lyonnaise, And crisp fried chicken from the south. Lord, if you love me, shut my mouth! |
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09 Jun 08 - 03:24 PM (#2361672) Subject: RE: HELP ... 'Fat Songs? From: reggie miles My friend Robert OneMan Johnson wrote this one. I used to sing it more often than I presently do. I'm Gettin' Thick In The Middle, Gettin' Thin On Top Time goes by and people change Their features start to rearrange The question is, when does this stop? I'm gettin' thick in the middle, gettin' thin on top Every mornin' in the mirror The direct effect of the food and beer I exercise until I drop Still I'm gettin' thick in the middle, gettin' thin on top I'm thin on top I'm thick in the middle I used to have a lot But now there's not much more than a little I used to have a little round my middle But now there quite a lot I'm gettin' thick in the middle, gettin' thin on top Father time he isn't fair He erased my waist now he's takin' my hair I'll keep movin' till I drop Though I'm gettin' thick in the middle, gettin' thin on top I'm thin on top I'm thick in the middle I used to have a lot But now there's not much more than a little I used to have a little round my middle But now there quite a lot I'm gettin' thick in the middle gettin' thin on top |
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09 Jun 08 - 03:35 PM (#2361689) Subject: RE: HELP ... 'Fat Songs? From: PoppaGator Too bad Deckman isn't going to do this gig. It would've been a barrel of laughs! "Big fat woman, roll your big leg over me!" |
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09 Jun 08 - 04:31 PM (#2361729) Subject: RE: HELP ... 'Fat Songs? From: Deckman Hmm, the phrase "survival of the fittest" comes to my mind. My best hope would be that I could run faster than they! bob |
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09 Jun 08 - 04:41 PM (#2361738) Subject: RE: HELP ... 'Fat Songs? From: maire-aine Thank you, Reg, for digging up those 2 poems. I remember hearing the stirring recitation that he used to do. Maryanne |
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09 Jun 08 - 04:54 PM (#2361748) Subject: RE: HELP ... 'Fat Songs? From: Liz the Squeak I'm getting sick of all my friends telling me they're losing weight... I keep finding it! LTS |
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09 Jun 08 - 06:44 PM (#2361863) Subject: RE: HELP ... 'Fat Songs? From: GUEST,TJ in San Diego Here is a little ditty I dashed off to celebrate an old friend, a saloon singer of ample proportions who always said she wasn't fat; just a little too short for her weight: She's a round mound of rollicking sound, A spherical wonder to see! Folks pay through the nose, To hear her disclose, The menu she gobbles with glee. She rolls to the table and uprights herself, Like a great vessel bobbing at sea. She wolfs down a turkey, two hams and a beer, And, afterward, hits a high C! She sings like a bird – a wond'rous big bird, Who never could perch in a tree! Consuming her own weight in groceries each day, A platoon could take shade in her lee. But, I once heard her sing a most plaintive refrain, A lament for the once-slender she, Who was left far behind, as her appetite gained, Till, at last, she just begged to be free. She gave up her smoking, she gave up her gin, She gave up Long Island Ice Tea. She was ready to give up the ghost, so she said, Confessing herself once to me. "I would, but I'm chicken," she finally admitted, "And besides, dead, I wouldn't be me!" So, with renewed gusto, she follows her star, Gas-tro-nom-i-cal-ly. You might see her one night at the Cannonball Grill, Or the Hog Heaven Diner, you see. She sings for her supper, her breakfast and lunch, And she swallows it all with great glee! She's a fabulous thing to hear and behold, Though she's caused many a top chef to flee, Knowing that coming to dine at his chez, She could wipe out his whole eat-er-y. -------------------------------------------------- Her most famous quote, but on it – don't linger, is: "Oh, do come on – just pull my finger!" |
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09 Jun 08 - 08:11 PM (#2361921) Subject: RE: HELP ... 'Fat Songs? From: Acorn4 1.Down at the leisure centre, It's just an ordinary day, Twenty rather large ladies Waddle onto the floor As the music begin to play, Leotards stretched to their elastic limit Where they've rather over indulged. They make more wind than the Welsh Assembly As they fight the battle of the bulge chorus: Singing... We are the roly poly army Fighting the great lost cause We're gonna knock the world off its axis As we bounce up and down on the floor We keep telling oursleves it's not our fault That we got in the state we're in 'Cos after all we're just victims "Cos we hardly eat a thing!" 2.Once we were graceful and sylphlike, But thats a distant memory, And overnight we became built for comfort Like the jellyfish in the sea, Now our bums fill up three bus seats Watch us fill a supermarket aisle As our will power sort of flew out of the window and waved goodbye with a smile. Singing... We are the roly poly army Fighting the great lost cause We're gonna knock the world off its axis As we bounce up and down on the floor WE keep telling oursleves it's not our fault That we got in the state we're in 'Cos after all we're just victims "Cos we hardly eat a thing!" 3.Does someone pump us up in the morning Or does nature abhor empty space, In a nation that suffer from the over inflation We're a dead heat in a zeppelin race Last week we all put on two pounds Any more and the scales will be bustin' Those scales are definitely wrong It's as braoad as it's long They definitely need adjusting.. Singing... We are the roly poly army Fighting the great lost cause We're gonna knock the world off its axis As we bounce up and down on the floor We keep telling oursleves it's not our fault That we got in the state we're in 'Cos after all we're just victims "Cos we hardly eat a thing!" |
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09 Jun 08 - 08:35 PM (#2361937) Subject: RE: HELP ... 'Fat Songs? From: GUEST,Dave MacKenzie Big Mama Thornton had at least one celebrating her size, and back in the 1960s, I remember hearing a song in Edinburgh with the chorus "I won't miss you, babe I couldn't, you're too fat" |
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24 Nov 24 - 01:16 PM (#4212276) Subject: RE: Songs about being fat, overweight, heavy, obese From: GUEST Randy Newman's 'Can't fool the fat man'? |
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24 Nov 24 - 01:20 PM (#4212277) Subject: RE: Songs about being fat, overweight, heavy, obese From: MaJoC the Filk .... Hm: does Wheezy Anna count? |
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24 Nov 24 - 04:22 PM (#4212292) Subject: RE: Songs about being fat, overweight, heavy, obese From: GerryM A couple from Allan Sherman: To the tune of Molly Malone: She wheels her wheelbarrow Through streets that are narrow, Her barrow is narrow, her hips are too wide. So wherever she wheels it, The neighborhood feels it, Her girdle keeps scraping the homes on each side. In Dublin's fair city, Where girls are so pretty, My Molly stands out 'cause she weighs 18 stone. (That's 256 pounds.) I don't mind her fat--but, It's not only that--but, She's cockeyed and muscle-bound, Molly Malone. [Fact check: 18 stone is actually 252 pounds] To the tune of Polly Wolly Doodle: Oh I diet all day and I diet all night, It's enough to drive me bats. Got no gravy or potatoes, 'Cause the whole refrigerator's Fulla polyunsaturated fats. Fare thee well, Metrecal, And the others of that ilk. Let the diet start tomorrow, 'Cause today I'll drown my sorrow In a double malted milk. |
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25 Nov 24 - 05:51 AM (#4212321) Subject: RE: Songs about being fat, overweight, heavy, obese From: GUEST One I like is this. I Don't Look Good Naked Anymore I've sung it a couple of times down the folk club, although I anglicised it to reference pork pies and added a (sadly autobiographical) verse about how I used to be a competent rugby league hooker (yes, I know). |
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25 Nov 24 - 07:56 AM (#4212323) Subject: RE: Songs about being fat, overweight, heavy, obese From: John MacKenzie Roll up roll up, come and see the fat girl 40 stone of loveliness and every bit her own Ee she were a big un, wi accent on the big And all the fellers wi walkin' stick were givin' her a dig. She were a great big lassie as didn't known her chassis Were blown up wi air I do declare Everthing were champion until some silly clown, stabbed her wi a pin, said the showman wi' a frown All 'ands to the pump me lads me vessel's going down At the Rawtenstall annual fair. |
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25 Nov 24 - 10:32 AM (#4212330) Subject: Lyr Add: TWO TON TESSIE (Turk/Handman) From: Jim Dixon From the sheet music at York University. There is a recording by the Ames Brothers that you can hear at Spotify. There are several recordings on YouTube. TWO TON TESSIE Words and music by Roy Turk & Lou Handman, ©1926. 1. Down in Nashville, Tennessee, there’s a sight you oughta see, But as long as you can’t get down there, I’ll tell you all, so listen to me: There’s a gal named Tessie Townes, weighs about four hundred pounds, Fat and fair, but she don’t care, ‘cause the boys all hang around. CHORUS 1: They call her Two-Ton Tessie from Tennessee, Holds ten sweeties upon her knee. When she does, all the fun begins. They play tennis on her double chins. Caused the rise in the price of meat. Been ten years since she saw her feet. Lovers haven’t any cinch, I’m sure. To get around her waist, they mustn’t detour— Two-Ton Tessie from Nashville, Tennessee. 2. Ev’ry time she struts around, she puts on an extra pound, But it doesn’t seem to worry her; her weight is making Tessie renowned— Isn’t trying to reduce, and she’s got a good excuse: Though she scales more than two whales, with the boys she beats the deuce. CHORUS 2: They call her Two-Ton Tessie from Tennessee. Broadside view like a ship at sea. Takes two lovers to hold her hands. Taller sittin’ down than when she stands. Boys all answer to her demands. The bring tires for wedding bands. I just got a little inside tip: They’re gonna start a night club on her hip— Two-Ton Tessie from Nashville, Tennessee. CHORUS 3: They call her Two-Ton Tessie from Tennessee, Presses trousers without a fee. She’s not “hep” to the Charleston yet, But you oughta hear her sing quartet. On a trolley I heard ‘em say Six men gave her a seat one day. Runners all have given up their gym. They run around her once and keep in trim— Two-Ton Tessie from Nashville, Tennessee. CHORUS 4: They call her Two-Ton Tessie from Tennessee. Goes in swimmin’ up to her knee. Once she went in up to her neck; Tide rose up and made the town a wreck. She was hit on a railroad track. Engine struck her and bounced right back. Her appendix had to come out fast. They couldn’t operate, they had to blast— Two-Ton Tessie from Nashville, Tennessee. |
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25 Nov 24 - 11:58 AM (#4212336) Subject: Lyr Add: POPPING CORN (Loumey) From: Jim Dixon From the sheet music at Johns Hopkins University; also at the Library of Congress. POPPING CORN Words and music by Aug. Loumey, ©1874. 1. And there they sat a-popping corn, John Stiles and Susan Cutter, John Stiles as fat as any ox, And Susan, fat as butter. And there they sat, and shell’d the corn, And raked and stirr’d the fire, And talk’d of diff’rent kinds of ears, And hitch’d their chairs up nigher. CHORUS: And there they sat a-popping corn, John Stiles and Susan Cutter, John Stiles as fat as any ox, And Susan, fat as butter. 2. Then Susan she the popper shook, Then John he shook the popper, Till both their faces grew as red As saucepans made of copper. And then they shell’d, and popp’d, and ate, All kinds of fun a-poking, And he haw-haw’d at her remarks, And she laugh’d at his joking. CHORUS 3. And still they popp’d and still they ate; John’s mouth was like a hopper, And stirr’d the fire and sprinkled salt, And shook and shook the popper. The clock struck nine and then struck ten, And still the corn kept popping. It struck eleven then struck twelve, And still no signs of stopping. CHORUS 4. And John he ate, and Susan thought The corn did pop and patter; Till John cried out: “The corn’s afire! Why, Susan, what’s the matter?” Said she: “John Stiles, it’s one o’clock; You’ll die of indigestion. I’m sick of all this popping corn. Why don’t you pop the question?” LAST CHORUS: Said she: “John Stiles, it’s one o’clock; You’ll die of indigestion. I’m sick of all this popping corn. Why don’t you pop the question?” |
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25 Nov 24 - 03:03 PM (#4212350) Subject: RE: Songs about being fat, overweight, heavy, obese From: John MacKenzie That was the Theme song of Tessie O'Shea. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=djiC-_ucPbA&ab_channel=slaphead6000 |
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25 Nov 24 - 03:45 PM (#4212352) Subject: RE: Songs about being fat, overweight, heavy, obese From: Stilly River Sage Not folk or particularly old, from Queen: Fat Bottomed Girls. And mentioned in passing above in the thread, Merle Travis' Fat Gal. |
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25 Nov 24 - 03:59 PM (#4212354) Subject: RE: Songs about being fat, overweight, heavy, obese From: Brock Eating Food is Wrong by Instant Sunshine I was once a chubby man, merry sleek and stout I made fried foods by the pan, free from shame and doubt I cooked hearty breakfasts served with two eggs lightly done Bath buns with my morning drink Beer for lunch and chunks of steak, scones for tea and rich cream cake, Eating food was fun! Macaroons, marmalade, muffins that mother made Marzipan, marshmallows, egg mayonnaise Mouth-watering courses of meat with rich sauces And crystallised tangerine, fondues and Florentine Help me remember those halcyon days! All my friends were podgy lads, jolly tubby types I was not upset by fads, stomach-aches or gripes Pies placed on the pantry shelf would not remain there long I ate soufflés, steaks and stews, fritters, roasts and barbeques Then I heard the stunning news: EATING FOOD IS WRONG Sugar and alcohol, fats and cholesterol, buns, butter and beer make you ill Sweeteners and cyclamates cause several sickly states Yoghurts and cheeses cause painful diseases And puddings, potatoes and pastry can KILL! I was once a dumpy man, now I’m lean and drawn Health foods, greens and stacks of bran help me to reform Now I toy with lettuce leaves, and sometimes chew a prune Now my diets sparse and lean based on rice and soya bean But I hope that now I’m lean I’ll feel healthy soon I once mixed with fleshy men, happy, chubby chaps But I’ll never smile again, now I’m fed on scraps Po-faced pinched and pale I peck the food health-freaks allow Though I’ll live to ninety-five I would rather not survive Eating bran to stay alive I’d rather end it now I’ll eat a deadly cream-filled cake and end the whole thing now Eat up your pancake rolls, plum duff, profiteroles Poppadoms, pizzas and pastas and pies Don’t try to stifle your craving for trifle or give lame excuses for not eating mousses EAT DRINK AND BE MERRY for tomorrow we die! |
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27 Nov 24 - 10:47 AM (#4212449) Subject: Lyr Add: I DON’T WANT TO GET THIN (Sophie Tucker) From: Jim Dixon I DON’T WANT TO GET THIN Words by Jack Yellen; music by Milton Ager; ©1929. From the film “Honky Tonk,” 1929. I. From the sheet music at Baylor University: 1. Almost every day I hear some kind friend say: “Sophie, dear, I think you’re much too stout.” Right off, they suggest The diet they think best. They make me sick; I wish they’d cut it out! CHORUS 1: I don’t want to get thin! I don’t want to get thin! Why should I, when I’m alright as I am? I’ve got a lot of what I’ve got, but my friends love it. They’re no vegetarians; They like meat and plenty of it. I don’t want to reduce; Furthermore, what’s the use? They follow me around like Mary’s lamb! The girls who talk of dieting get on my nerves. If you want to keep your husband straight, show him a lot of curves. That’s why I won’t get thin; You can laugh; you can grin, But I’m doing very well the way I am. 2. You take Missus Stump; now, she was nice and plump— Not too thin and not too fat, just right. Then the silly goose Decided to reduce. Well, now her husband phones me every night. CHORUS 2: I don’t want to lose weight! The boys tell me I’m great. My sweetheart loves me just the way I am. I have no fear that he’ll go chasing other mamas. He may find one who will fill my shoes, not my pajamas. I don’t care what I weigh; I eat pie every day. I hate pineapples; I don’t care for lamb. I tell you very frankly, I weigh one-sixty-three, But many a Sonny Boy has tried to climb upon my knee. So why should I get thin? Bring that pastry tray in! ’Cause I’m doing very well the way I am. II. From the recording by Sophie Tucker, with Ted Shapiro’s Orchestra[1], on His Master's Voice B 3132, 1929, at the Internet Archive. I have marked differences with boldface. 1. Almost every day I hear some kind friend say: “Sophie, dear, I think you’re much too stout.” Right away, they suggest The diet they think best. They make me sick; I wish they’d cut it out! CHORUS 1: I don’t want to get thin! I don’t want to get thin! Why should I, when I’m alright as I am? those slender-waisted mamas, they make me laugh My goodness! Men like to see a little fore and aft I don’t want to reduce; Furthermore, what’s the use? When the men follow me around like Mary’s lamb! The girls who talk of dieting, gee, they get on my nerves. If you want to keep your husband straight, show him a lot of curves. I don’t want to get thin; You can laugh and you can grin, But I’m doing very well the way I am. [In the following spoken interlude, Miss Tucker has a dialog with a Ted Shapiro, who also played piano; I have indicated his lines with TS.] [TS] Miss Tucker. I think you could do with a pound less or two. [ST] Look what’s talking! If he’d close one eye, he’d look like an eagle. Mind your own business, Teddy; I’m satisfied to be the way I am. I’ve got a lot of what I’ve got, and my friends love it. Mind you, they’re no vegetarians; they like their meat and plenty of it. [TS] Well. I think you could spare a pound here or there. [ST] Nobody’s asking you, young man; keep your mind on your music. [TS] I can’t when you’re around. [ST] Look where I am not. [TS] I can’t see that far. [ST] All right, I’ll buy you some field glasses. I’m fat, and I know it, and I intend to stay fat. [TS] Miss Tucker, you shouldn’t say fat; in the best places, they say one is stout. [ST] Ha-ha! In the best places, I’m fat! As I was saying, folks, I’ll eat anything. [TS] Anything? [ST] Anything! [TS] You won’t eat ham.[2] [ST] Well, we’ll leave politics and religion out of it. I’ve noticed one thing, girls; you can store this in your dome: All the married men who run after me have skinny wives at home. [TS] You’ll have to be much thinner to attract a young sheik. [ST] Don’t worry; I’m doing all right with the Spaniards and the Greeks. CHORUS 2: I don’t want to lose weight! The boys tell me I’m great. My sweetheart loves me just the way I am. I have no fear that he’ll go chasing round with other mamas. He may find one who will fill my shoes but not my pajamas. I don’t care what I weigh; I eat pie every day. I hate pineapples and I don’t care for lamb. I’ll tell you very frankly, I weigh one-sixty-three, But many a Sonny Boy has tried to climb upon my knee. I don’t want to get thin; You can laugh and you can grin, But I’m doing very well the way I am. - - - [1] The record label credits “Ted Shapiro’s Orchestra” but the only instrument I can hear is a piano, played by Shapiro himself, I presume. [2] It was well known that Sophie Tucker was Jewish. One of her big hits was “My Yiddishe Momme,” which Shapiro also played on. |
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27 Nov 24 - 11:16 AM (#4212451) Subject: RE: Songs about being fat, overweight, heavy, obese From: Black belt caterpillar wrestler If you want more support for eating well look up the thread on Lumley Kettlewell. Robin |
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27 Nov 24 - 11:30 AM (#4212454) Subject: RE: Songs about being fat, overweight, heavy, obese From: Dave the Gnome Beverley Sisters It's Illegal, It's Immoral Or It Makes You Fat |
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29 Nov 24 - 08:58 AM (#4212525) Subject: RE: Songs about being fat, overweight, heavy, obese From: GUEST,PHJim BIG LEGGED WOMAN - Jerry Lee Lewis One I sorta recall from the sixties, I think was called "KEEP YOUR HANDS OFF HER". She's a [G7] heavy hipped woman, got those [C] great big legs, She's a [G7] heavy hipped woman, got those [C] great big legs, She's a [F] heavy hipped woman, got those [Cdim] great big legs, [C] Walks like she's [B] walkin' [Bb] on [A] soft-boiled [A7] eggs Keep your [G7]hands off her, she don't belong to [C] you. I forget who sang it; maybe Lead Belly? |
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30 Nov 24 - 11:11 PM (#4212605) Subject: Lyr Add: GROW, MRS. GOLDFARB (Allan Sherman) From: Jim Dixon Melissa mentioned this back on 08 Jun 08: GROW, MRS. GOLDFARB (Words by Allan Sherman, music “The Glow-Worm” famously recorded by The Mills Brothers.) As recorded by Allan Sherman on “For Swingin’ Livers Only!” 1964, which you can hear on YouTube. Grow, Mrs. Goldfarb, fatter, fatter. Pile the potatoes on your platter. Listen to me, 'cause I'm your hubby: I just adore you plump and chubby. I got a letter from the state, dear. You're gonna need a license plate, dear. My little elephant joke come true— Chew, Mrs. Goldfarb, chew! There is so much more of you, More to adore of you, 'Cause you're not slender. In your white dress, you're a doll, Big as the Taj Mahal In all its splendor. When you're in department stores, Don't use revolving doors. You might get stuck, dear, When you use the telephone. Go in the booth alone, And lots of luck, dear. You had for breakfast: two pounds bacon. Three dozen eggs, one coffee cake, and Then you had something really awful: Four kippered herrings on a waffle, Nine English muffins, one baked apple, Boston cream pie, Philadelphia scrapple, Seventeen bowls of Crispy Crunch, Then you said, "What's for lunch?" Sweetheart, you are giant size. You are Lane Bryant size, My darling Myrtle. Last Thanksgiving, I was thrilled. You ate so much, you killed Your living girdle. Have another dozen shrimp, My lovely little blimp. Don't count a cal’rie. I have just received a stub. I owe the Diner's Club A whole year's sal’ry. Eat, Mrs. Goldfarb, daily, nightly. Eat, though your chair is bending slightly. Love of my life, I'm glad I found you. Each day I take a walk around you. I can't forget when we got married. Over the threshold I got carried. No other bride would be so sweet. Eat, Mrs. Goldfarb, eat! - - - Information from Wikipedia: Originally a German song, "Das Glühwürmchen," from the 1902 operetta “Lysistrata,” was composed by Paul Lincke with lyrics by Heinz Bolten-Backers. An English translation by Lilla Cayley Robinson was used in the 1907 Broadway musical “The Girl Behind the Counter.” You can read these lyrics in the Wikipedia article. These versions have both verses and choruses. Johnny Mercer wrote additional lyrics for the tune, but he used only the tune of the chorus. His version was recorded by The Mills Brothers in 1952 and became very popular. Allan Sherman’s parody uses the tune of both the verse and the chorus. |
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30 Nov 24 - 11:43 PM (#4212606) Subject: Lyr Add: TOO MUCH BUTT (Saffire…Uppity Blues Women From: Jim Dixon Melissa mentioned this back on 08 Jun 08: TOO MUCH BUTT As recorded by Saffire—The Uppity Blues Women on “Havin’ the Last Word,” 2009, which you can hear at Spotify. 1. Sergio Valenti and Calvin Klein, They aren't ready for these hips of mine. They may be designers but they haven't designed Jeans to fit your valentine. They make women's clothes for the long and the lean. I got too much butt for one pair of jeans. 2. Well, if a gown's too big, it don't fit the holster. I don't buy jeans; I get reupholstered. An acre of denim, custom cut, Sewn with care to fit this butt. Well, if my zipper could talk, you'd know it would scream: “Too much butt for one pair of jeans!” CHORUS: Too much butt. What? Too much butt. Ah, no, baby. Too much butt. Tell me, how could that be? Too much butt. It's a mystery to me. I may have a lot, but I'll tell you what: There's no such thing as too much butt. (Ain't no butts about it, baby.) 3. Well, you know on a plane, it's a little bit tight. My butt's wedged in for the whole damn flight, And if you're next to me, you'd better be nice ’Cause this butt can be a flotation device. If we go down, ah, you know what I mean: Too much butt for one pair of jeans. CHORUS 4. When I bend over, I may block the sun. I may be two but I'm your only one. On a scale of one to ten, you know I'm your twenty. How could you want more? This girl's got plenty. I know what you like and you like what you see: Too much butt for one pair of jeans. CHORUS Well, if my zipper could talk, you'd know it would scream: “Too much butt for one pair of jeans!” Yeah, if my zipper could talk, you'd know it would scream: “Too much butt for—too much butt for—too much butt for one pair of jeans.” |
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01 Dec 24 - 09:13 PM (#4212660) Subject: Lyr Add: BUILT FOR COMFORT (Howlin' Wolf) From: Jim Dixon This was mentioned by “meself” on 08 Jun 08, and it might be the same song that Marion referred to earler that day: BUILT FOR COMFORT As recorded by Howlin’ Wolf on “The Real Folk Blues,” 1966, which you can hear on Spotify. Some folk built like this; some folk built like that, But what the way I'm built, don't you call me fat, Because I'm built for comfort; I ain't built for speed. But I got everything, oh, that a good girl need. Some folk drift and run; some folk b’lieve in signs [or “breathe and sigh”*] But if you want me, baby, you got to take your time, Because I'm built for comfort; I ain't built for speed. But I got everything, oh, that a good girl need. I ain't got no diamonds; I ain't got no gold, But I do have love to satisfy your soul, Because I'm built for comfort; I ain't built for speed, But I got everything, oh, you good women need. - - - * As sung by Marva Wright. Also recorded by Taj Mahal, Willie Dixon, and others. |
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02 Dec 24 - 04:24 AM (#4212670) Subject: RE: Songs about being fat, overweight, heavy, obese From: John MacKenzie Mr. Five by Five Song by Ella Mae Morse and Freddie Slack Well, twirl my turban, man alive! Here comes Mister Five by Five He's one of those big fat bouncing boys Solid avoirdupois! Mister Five by Five He's five feet tall and he's five feet wide He don't measure no more from head to toe Than he do from side to side Mister Five by Five Got fifty chins and a line of jive He's a mellow old cat, a real hep fat He be Mister Five by Five That man Can really jump it for a fat man The only trouble is there's no way of knowin' Whether he's comin' or, or goin' Mister Five by Five He's slightly plump on his butter side He don't shake it no more from head to toe Than he do from side to side That man [my, my!] Can really jump it for a fat man [fat man!] Boys, the trouble is there's no way of knowin' Whether he's comin' or, or goin' Mister Five by Five He's five feet tall and he's five feet wide He don't measure no more from head to toe Than he do From side to side Mister Five by Five https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3icDW_qONpg&ab_channel=JimmyRushing-Topic |
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02 Dec 24 - 12:32 PM (#4212707) Subject: Lyr Add: THREE HUNDRED POUNDS OF JOY (Howlin’ Wolf From: Jim Dixon This was mentioned by “meself” on 08 Jun 08: THREE HUNDRED POUNDS OF JOY Written by Willie Dixon As recorded by Howlin’ Wolf on “The Real Folk Blues,” 1966, which you can hear on Spotify. Well, all of you girls [who] think your days are done, You don't have to worry; you can have your fun. Take me, baby, for your little boy. You're gettin' three hundred pounds of heavenly joy. This is it. This is it. Look what you get. You've been bendin' 'n’ hidin' from behind his back, And you got your man that you don't like. Throw that cat, baby, out o’ your mind. Follow me, baby, 'n’ have a real good time. This is it. This is it. Look what you get. Hoy, hoy, I'm the boy. I got three hundred pounds of heavenly joy. I'm so glad that you understand. I'm three hundred pounds of muscle an’ man. This is it. This is it. Look what you get. |
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02 Dec 24 - 12:52 PM (#4212712) Subject: RE: Songs about being fat, overweight, heavy, obese From: Thompson Abolitionist song: His coat's so big he couldn't pay the tailor and it don't go halfway round. |
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03 Dec 24 - 01:23 PM (#4212784) Subject: Lyr Add: CUSHY McCOY From: Jim Dixon Bat Goddess mentioned this on 08 Jun 08: CUSHY McCOY As recorded by The Irish Balladeers on “The Molly Maguires,” 1968, which you can hear at YouTube. 1. My name is Tim Clancy and I work down the mine, And up till the other night, I got along fine. I went to an alehouse myself to enjoy, And there I met Cushy, big Cushy McCoy. CHORUS: She’s a big lass and a bonny lass and she’ll make your head spin, For Cushy’s in grand shape for the shape that she’s in. 2. Well, I asked her to dance and she started with joy, Took hold of my arm and swung me round like a toy, First up to the ceilin’ then down to the floor, And the next thing I knew, I was flyin’ out the door. CHORUS 3. Well, I shot to my feet and started running with joy, But fast on my heels was big Cushy McCoy. For sixty-three miles, we ran through the night And I never stopped running till she was out of sight. CHORUS 4. Now, I told you my story and sung it as well, And if there’s a moral, it’s clear as a bell: If you dance with big Cushy, there are two things you’ll need: Well, a right leg and a left leg that can run with great speed. CHORUS TWICE. - - - Also recorded by: The Birmingham Six on “The Kessel Run,” 2010 – see YouTube. |
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03 Dec 24 - 04:24 PM (#4212801) Subject: RE: Songs about being fat, overweight, heavy, obese From: John MacKenzie Cushy Butterfield I'm a broken-hearted keel-man, what's ower heed in love With a young lass from Gateshead and I call her my dove Her name's Cushie Butterfield and she sells yellow clay And her cousin's a muck-man and they call him Tom Grey She's a big lass and a bonnie lass And she likes her beer And they call her Cushie Butterfield And I wish she was here Her eyes is like two holes in a blanket burnt through And her broos of a morning would spyen a young coo And when I hear her shootin', will ye buy any clay? Like a candyman's trumpet, it steals my young heart away She's a big lass and a bonnie lass And she likes her beer And they call her Cushie Butterfield And I wish she was here You'll oft see her doon at Sandgate when the fresh herring comes in She's like a bag full of sawdust, tied roon' with a string She wears big galoshes tae, and her stocking's once was white And her bedgoon it's lilac and her hat's never straight She's a big lass and a bonnie lass And she likes her beer And they call her Cushie Butterfield And I wish she was here When I asked her to marry us, she started to laugh No, none of your monkey tricks for I like nae such chaff Then she started a-bubbling and roared like a bull And the chaps on the Quay says I's nowt but a fool She's a big lass and a bonnie lass And she likes her beer And they call her Cushie Butterfield And I wish she was here She says, the man that gets us he had te work every day And when he comes hyem at neet he'll have te gan and seek clay And when he's away seekin' it I'll make balls and sing Oh weel may the keel row that my laddie's in She's a big lass and a bonnie lass And she likes her beer And they call her Cushie Butterfield And I wish, I wish, I wish I wish she was here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sTmvjjoGgYw&ab_channel=SeanCoxen |
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03 Dec 24 - 09:42 PM (#4212826) Subject: Lyr Add: I LIKE 'EM FAT LIKE THAT (Louis Jordan) From: Jim Dixon GUEST,cStu mentioned this on 08 Jun 08: I LIKE ’EM FAT LIKE THAT Written by Louis Jordan, Claude Demetrius & J. Mayo Williams As recorded by Louis Jordan and His Tympany Five in 1944; released as Decca 23810 in 1947, which you can hear at the Internet Archive. Let the cats all criticize, Joke about my baby’s size. She’s reet with me Because, you see, I like ‘em fat like that. When she bounces down the street, She’s a whole heap o’ honey an’ ain’t she sweet? Feels so fine To know she’s mine. I like ‘em fat like that. You can have all those lean chicks, Tender and tall, But when it comes to mean chicks, A big fat mama is the best of all. After I get through workin’, I reach an’ grab my hat, Hurry home; Don’t want her to be alone. I like ‘em fat like that. |
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04 Dec 24 - 09:03 AM (#4212854) Subject: RE: Songs about being fat, overweight, heavy, obese From: GUEST,Susanne (skw) I looked in vain for this gem here: The Reprobate's Lament (Bill Hill) |
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04 Dec 24 - 09:14 AM (#4212856) Subject: RE: Songs about being fat, overweight, heavy, obese From: GUEST,Susanne (skw) Try again: www.mudcat.org/thread.cfm?threadid=27357#335246 (The Reprobate's Lament) The blue clicky maker doesn't seem to work any more. I tried several times, and always the finished link when used included "mudcat.org/" twice. The above should work when cut and pasted, but being a bit out of practice I also put the faulty link into the original thread so it's now in the list ... Sorry! |
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05 Dec 24 - 04:34 PM (#4212947) Subject: RE: Songs about being fat, overweight, heavy, obese From: MaJoC the Filk Do you mean this? https://www.mudcat.org/thread.cfm?threadid=27357#335246 (The Reprobate's Lament) .... I often need to hand-fix the URL the blue-clicky maker produces. |