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11 Jul 08 - 01:48 PM (#2386744) Subject: BS: News item / Song Challenge? From: Emma B Teenager finds bat asleep in bra! 'A teenager who thought movement in her underwear was caused by her vibrating mobile phone found a bat curled up asleep in her bra. Abbie Hawkins, 19, of Norwich, had been wearing the bra for five hours when she plucked up the courage to investigate. When she did, she found a baby bat in padding in her 34FF bra. The hotel receptionist said she was shocked but felt bad for removing the "cuddly" bat. "It looked cosy and comfortable and I was sorry for disturbing it," she said.' 'Perhaps I should have left it there and given it a good home.' http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/norfolk/7496923.stm |
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11 Jul 08 - 01:53 PM (#2386749) Subject: RE: BS: News item / Song Challenge? From: GUEST,Guest from Sanity Double F???!!..Jeez, she should have been surprised that there wasn't a Super Bowl, game being played in there! |
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11 Jul 08 - 02:41 PM (#2386791) Subject: RE: BS: News item / Song Challenge? From: Georgiansilver New version of The Wild Goose!!! Have you ever seen a wild bat, asleep in a brassiere, Ranzo me boys, Oh Ranzo Ray. It probably thought it was one of Liz the Squeaks tits, Ranzo me boys, oh Ranzo Ray. Oh Ranzo, you'll rue the day, When the bat filled brassiere flies away. |
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11 Jul 08 - 02:44 PM (#2386794) Subject: RE: BS: News item / Song Challenge? From: Georgiansilver Kate Rusby singing The Wild Goose on Youtube is great........ |
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11 Jul 08 - 03:57 PM (#2386865) Subject: RE: BS: News item / Song Challenge? From: Becca72 34FF is what my aunt Bernice would call a bucket-seat hammock. Sheesh. She's lucky to have only found a bat and not Jimmy Hoffa for cryin' out loud. |
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11 Jul 08 - 04:59 PM (#2386906) Subject: RE: BS: News item / Song Challenge? From: SINSULL BatGoddess has this one outdone. One of her guests found a baby bat asleep in his undies. |
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11 Jul 08 - 05:53 PM (#2386955) Subject: RE: BS: News item / Song Challenge? From: Bee Here ya go. Needs work. The Bat in the Bra There lived a bat mother all up in a wall She'd brothers and sisters who lived down the hall As time moved along she had children to feed So many in fact she could not meet their need. Oh Blinky my youngest, I think you must go Down the hall to your Aunties, so fly to and fro Out the wall, down the hallway and left past the light. You'll be safe in their eyrie 'fore the end of the night. Brave Blinky he ventured as evening drew on, He must finish his journey before the new dawn. But being a youngster, distracted was he By the leap of a cricket and the hum of a bee. Now finally tired, to Blinky's dismay The sun was arising to start the bright day. So frantically flying, he soon sees the light Oh dreadful distraction, he deked to the right! A dive in the darkness, our Blinky touched down Just a whisker away from young Abbie's nightgown. So frightened was he to find himself here He wriggled his way into Abbie's brassiere. Gentle Abbie she rose and dressed for the day And went off to her job to earn all her pay. But as the hours passed she was taken afright For something up front wasn't feeling quite right. "This fluttering feeling just over my heart Cannot be accounted to sweet Cupid's dart" So reaching within as quick as a cat, She soon did dicover our dear little bat. "Oh dear little creature!" our Abbie did cry "I know you've been cosy, but it's time to fly!" Now out of a window young Blinky's set free And has got himself safe in the leaves of a tree. When night came again Blinky follows the call Of his Aunties and Uncles in the faraway hall, And when he got there safe he vowed nevermore To deke to the right and in through the wrong door. |
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11 Jul 08 - 05:59 PM (#2386962) Subject: RE: BS: News item / Song Challenge? From: Amos I can tell you with great certainty that, had I been such a bat, I would have voted for the comfortable home idea. I believe the Temple fathers keep this sort of story on file for possible classification as miraculous acts of divine intervention. A |
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11 Jul 08 - 06:26 PM (#2386984) Subject: RE: BS: News item / Song Challenge? From: Bobert I love the story but I ain't gonna write no blues song about it 'cause it ain't blues material... (Why you say that, Boberdz...) Well, I'll tell ya' why... All blues songs begin "Woke up this mornin'"... Right??? (Well, yeah, Bobz...) Well, being the resident authority on the womenz I know that after a day o' haulin' them babies 'round in them bra things the last thing in the world a womenz would wanta do is wear the sumabich to bed and therefore, accordin' to the Wes Ginny Slide Rule there ain't too much chance of wakin' up with a bat in yer bra... B~ |
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11 Jul 08 - 06:27 PM (#2386985) Subject: RE: BS: News item / Song Challenge? From: Georgiansilver A very selfish bat it was!! Failing to share the bra with a friend or family member when there is clearly room for two! |
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11 Jul 08 - 07:52 PM (#2387039) Subject: RE: BS: News item / Song Challenge? From: katlaughing Sins, did BatGoddess's guest have them on at the time?**bg** Bee, well done, I like it! |
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12 Jul 08 - 01:02 PM (#2387382) Subject: RE: BS: News item / Song Challenge? From: GUEST,Jack the Sailor da da da da da da da da da da da da Bat bra! Bat bra! Bat bra! |
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12 Jul 08 - 01:07 PM (#2387384) Subject: RE: BS: News item / Song Challenge? From: Emma B And it's home bats home Home I long to be Home for a while in a girl's lingerie Where's it's comfy and cozy; now I'm hanging from a tree Oh I wish once again in a bra I could be. |
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12 Jul 08 - 01:13 PM (#2387391) Subject: RE: BS: News item / Song Challenge? From: GUEST,Jack the Sailor What do ya get when you store your phone in your brassiere full of stuffing foam Some times you get a flying bat home. She'll never stuff her bra again. Don't tell me that she's triple size, I've seen her chest and I know that's all lies full of that foam that foam that foam to nest in And she's still got room to fit her chest in She'll never stuff her bra again. |
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12 Jul 08 - 02:03 PM (#2387422) Subject: RE: BS: News item / Song Challenge? From: Charley Noble Bee- Nicely done! "Hi," said the leather-winged bat, "I'll tell you the reason that, The reason that I fly by night Is I got one awful fright." 'Twas once I used to fly by day, At night in some snug place I'd lay, One night I went a bit too far, And snuggled within Abbie's bra. As I was snoozing lazily, A hand reached in and snatched me free; The moral is when you're a bat, You better know just where you're at! Cheerily, Charley Noble |
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12 Jul 08 - 03:39 PM (#2387454) Subject: RE: BS: News item / Song Challenge? From: Georgiansilver I lay in a wobble checker, Minding my own. Happy to be there, And all alone. When in came a hand, grabbed me by the wings, I guess I'll no longer rest, In one of those things. |
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12 Jul 08 - 11:09 PM (#2387621) Subject: Song Challenge! - Woman finds bat in bra From: Genie Time to move this very musical thread above the line, innit? ;D |
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13 Jul 08 - 06:42 AM (#2387685) Subject: RE: BS: News item / Song Challenge? From: Emma B We slept in a bra double B My grandfather and me Didn't have no reason to roam. Flying one night Went left 'stead of right Feel so broke up, can't find my way home. So hoist up the old clothes line Can't remember which cup was mine Might have been double F or double C? Let me go home, let me go home I wanna go home Feel so broke up. can't find my way home. |
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13 Jul 08 - 08:23 AM (#2387722) Subject: RE: BS: News item / Song Challenge? From: The Fooles Troupe My Lady friend is shaking her head in her hands and groaning... |
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13 Jul 08 - 10:08 AM (#2387754) Subject: RE: BS: News item / Song Challenge? From: Georgiansilver Is your bra upside down or is that a bat? |
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13 Jul 08 - 10:53 AM (#2387777) Subject: RE: BS: News item / Song Challenge? From: Charley Noble Emma- Very nice! I suppose we might also consider recycling the "Boll Weevil Song-Just Lookin' for a Home." Cheerily, Charley Noble |
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13 Jul 08 - 11:11 AM (#2387781) Subject: RE: BS: News item / Song Challenge? From: Little Hawk ...da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da... BAT BRA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (lovely idea, Jack) |
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13 Jul 08 - 11:31 AM (#2387786) Subject: RE: BS: News item / Song Challenge? From: Emma B Part two! 'A cheeky ram is certainly not the black sheep of the family after he made himself at home in his rescuer's house. The 22-stone sheep, which goes by the name Nick Boing, was rescued by David Palmer as a new-born lamb three years ago. But despite Mr Palmer trying to reintroduce Nick to farm-life, the sheep preferred his home comforts in the Rhiwbina area of Cardiff, watching TV and trips in the car. Mr Palmer, 53, said Nick had even slept in his bed when he was a lamb but was too big for that now. He said he had build Nick his own little bungalow in the back garden, complete with carpet and windows, but the sheep still likes to spend time in the living room. "He's more intelligent than your average sheep that's stuck in a field. "He's part of the family. He comes in every evening, head-butts the cushions off the settee and watches TV. "If the biscuit barrel is out he'll butt it on the floor because he knows the lid will come off. "It probably smells in here, but I'm used to it."' Everywhere that David goes..... |
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13 Jul 08 - 11:50 AM (#2387794) Subject: RE: BS: News item / Song Challenge? From: Little Hawk Very cool story! I figure that most animals will show greater intelligence if they are just exposed in their youth to some situations that encourage it to develop, and that's true of people as well. This sheep sounds like quite the character, and he's got a good name too. |
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13 Jul 08 - 11:50 AM (#2387796) Subject: RE: BS: News item / Song Challenge? From: Emma B 22 stone = 308lbs! Oh the shearings not for you my bonnie Nicky Boing For the rearing was no zoo my bonnie Nicky Boing Oh the shearings not for you Though the air it may turn blue At that size, what can you do? My bonnie Nicky Boing Do you mind the bed at night my bonnie Nicky Boing When you used to snuggle tight my bonnie Nicky Boing Do you mind the bed at night You weren't then such a height! Now you're really not so light My bonnie Nicky Boing |
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13 Jul 08 - 12:27 PM (#2387811) Subject: RE: BS: News item / Song Challenge? From: Alice "it probably smells in here..." ooooooh I bet it does |
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13 Jul 08 - 02:27 PM (#2387890) Subject: RE: BS: News item / Song Challenge? From: GUEST,Jack the Sailor A tribute to e e cummings. If using your bra as a purse beware of what happens to nurse |
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13 Jul 08 - 02:35 PM (#2387896) Subject: RE: BS: News item / Song Challenge? From: Mudlark The sheep story reminds me of a book I read years ago, drawn in by the title, "Bumble, Pig in Paradise," about a 300 lb porker, raised by hand from 1 lb piglet...still living in owner's farm house. Thoroughly housebroken (tho hard on the furniture) and leash trained. One would think a 300 lb pig could pretty much go wherever he wanted, leash or no leash, but apparently he heeled well. Pigs are very intelligent creatures...I suspect he wasn't about to blow Paradise for the thrill of a little tug on the leash. |
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13 Jul 08 - 02:50 PM (#2387904) Subject: RE: BS: News item / Song Challenge? From: Severn Take me to your breast I'll make your cup runneth over And I'll always make a belfry In your heart. Hmmmmmm....Sounds like a country song in there somewhere. But then, if it WAS the left breast, I'm glad it didn't get squashed to death by Abbey's own hand when someone struck up the National Anthem...... or maybe try a song starting with... "How can I go on-O......." |
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13 Jul 08 - 02:56 PM (#2387909) Subject: RE: BS: News item / Song Challenge? From: Severn Once expelled from the Abbey Belfry, will he seek out Carla's Bat Caverns? |
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13 Jul 08 - 03:06 PM (#2387913) Subject: RE: BS: News item / Song Challenge? From: GUEST,Jack the Sailor The bat got to see the purple mountains' majesty up close. |
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14 Jul 08 - 02:29 AM (#2388200) Subject: The Bat's In The Cradle Of Her Big Boozooms From: Genie OH, the insanity! (Puns, I mean!) LOL OK, here's the beginning of my humble offering for this, um, "news" story: (Sorry, Harry. Hope if you're rolling over in your grave it's not from agony.) A teen age girl just the other day, Got up and dressed in the usual way, But pretty soon got a vibe in a thrilling way - She felt a tingling buzz in her décolleté, And she was wond'rin' for some time what it was about, And when she fin'lly scoped it out - Gad! This is what she found out: The bat's in the cradle of her big boozooms, Little boy bat tryin' to find a room. "How he ever got in I don't know how, But could ya really blame him now, boys? I can't say that I blame him now. (Maybe I'll finish the song later. I'm going to bed now.) |
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14 Jul 08 - 02:33 AM (#2388201) Subject: Song Challenge - Bat in FF size bra From: Genie Actually, Jack, the lyric to America The Beautiful says "... mountain majesties ... " -- which I think fits this scenario extremely well. Don't you? *g* |
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14 Jul 08 - 02:36 AM (#2388202) Subject: RE: BS: News item / Song Challenge? From: Genie Oh, and I can tell you folks with great certainty that Amos "would have voted for the comfortable home [in a double F bra] idea" even without being a bat! (But you folks already knew that, right?) G |
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14 Jul 08 - 02:40 AM (#2388204) Subject: RE: BS: News item / Song Challenge? From: Genie SINSULL: "BatGoddess has this one outdone. One of her guests found a baby bat asleep in his undies." I didn't know baby bats wore undies. |
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14 Jul 08 - 02:51 AM (#2388207) Subject: RE: BS: News item / Song Challenge? From: GUEST,Guest from Sanity Bobert, I saw that you said that the topic wasn't blues material...well how about ' I had no use for headlights, since I got sonar...My guy didn't like lookin' at me, no mo'...etc etc....(and that's the blues.....) |
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14 Jul 08 - 01:03 PM (#2388639) Subject: RE: BS: News item / Song Challenge? From: GUEST,Jack the Sailor The bat had a home in the bra padding foam Where the breasts of a woman do sway he started to purr but it didn't deter her from driving that creature away. Home, in the brassiere Its cosy, padded and warm But the jig it was up when the tit in the cup cause-ed that home to deform |
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14 Jul 08 - 09:23 PM (#2389201) Subject: RE: BS: News item / Song Challenge? From: Genie LOL, Jack! |
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15 Jul 08 - 02:08 AM (#2389306) Subject: Song Challenge - The Cam In Pooh's Noggin From: Genie A little more complete. With apologies to Kenny Loggins: THE CAM IN POOH'S NOGGIN (based on The House At Pooh Corner, by Kenny Loggins From the album: Sittin' In (Columbia) Christopher Hounslow alone stalked his room- Mate with young limbs lit up by the moon. Posing so innocently, so unaware Of the cam'ra, she entered her room. Yes, he ventured much further this way than he should, Just to pick up the slack of his wee, aching wood. Heaven help you! You have got to get Back at your roomie and clobber his buns! You'd be surprised at the foul deeds he's done - Now ev'ry inch of your hide's Gazed at by his horny eyes! Oh, the foul ways of Christopher Hounslow and Pooh! Winnie the Pooh, don't ya know he'll view you? - Got a honey cam stuck in his nose. Your flatmate used him to help with his vice And from here who knows how far he'll go? You should send him to jail with Big Earl and Seymour For using so foully the nose of a bear! Oh, Heaven help you! You have got to get Back at your foul flatmate son of a gun! You'd be surprised at the foul deeds he's done - Now ev'ry inch of your hide's Gazed at by his leering eyes! Oh, the foul ways of Christopher Hounslow, He's got to pay, that lewd Christopher Hounslow, Oh, the betrayal by Pooh! |
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15 Jul 08 - 03:07 PM (#2389953) Subject: RE: BS: News item / Song Challenge? From: Genie Oh, the insanity of posting around midnight after a long drive that you started out sleep deprived in the first place, especially when you've topped off the day with a glass of wine! That last post was supposed to go in another Song Challenge! thread -- one that's up there above the line with the other Song Challenges. I've reposted the Kenny Loggins parody, in the right thread. Now if a Joe clone can delete this post and the ill-placed parody lyrics post, that would be peachy keen and merciful. Thanks, Genie |
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15 Jul 08 - 03:17 PM (#2389976) Subject: RE: BS: News item / Song Challenge? From: GUEST,Jack the Sailor Genie, Thank you for that surreal experience. I spent the whole time reading it wondering if it was you or me. Now I am relieved to see that it was neither of us. I also wondered who would name a baby bat "Christopher Hounslow". |
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15 Jul 08 - 04:19 PM (#2390043) Subject: RE: BS: News item / Song Challenge? From: Genie Actually, the guy's name is Russell Christopher Hounslow, and the story of his illicit use of a teddy bear as accomplice to his voyeuristic pursuits is in this thread. When I looked at the Forum today and didn't see that other Song Challenge thread on page 1, I figured out what I'd done. (I'm feeling much better rested today.) : ) Still hoping one of the clones will delete the teddy bear song post from this thread and maybe replace it with a link to the relevant Song Challenge. G |
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15 Jul 08 - 08:52 PM (#2390268) Subject: RE: BS: News item / Song Challenge? From: Charley Noble Genie- I was thinking that parody seemed familiar! ;~) You best PM Joe Offer to tidy it up, and all the subsequent posts. Cheerily, Charley Noble |