|
12 Aug 08 - 11:47 AM (#2411570) Subject: Lyr Add: THE DEEP SEA GUDGE (Wallace Irwin) From: Charley Noble Wllace Irwin's nautical ditties would be familiar to some here, giving the popularity of "The Rhyme of the Chivalrous Shark." Here's another chilling tale of a denizen of the deep: THE DEEP SEA GUDGE The deep sea Gudge what lives on the sandy bottom, (Is the fish o' the sea afeard o' we or us'ns afeard o' they?) Feelers and gills and hookers and claws he's got 'em Trailin' behind and j'inted and j'ined in an orful, onnatteral way. You fish for herring with sinkers and hooks and yankers, You fish for trout with a silk line stout and a little moskeeter fly, But the deep sea Gudge he nibbles at chains and anchors And gobbles at rafts and lumber crafts and battleships hurryin' by. We lay one noon in the lea o' the dry Melessas, And we pulled right main at our anchor chain, but found she refused to budge, Then we shuddered and winked and whispered together, "Bless us! Our anchor's cast and she's held tight fast in the teeth o' the deep sea Gudge!" It was me that dove in the slith o' the sea next mornin' To see if the Gudge was willin' to budge for a sailor that's slick and sly, When down in the slime, without ary word o' warnin', The Gudge I seen in the seaweed green a-wunkin' his indolent eye. And the anchor he held like a quid in his teeth and chawed it — I couldn't but look, though I shuddered and shook at the terrible sight I see — For the barb was caught in the roof of his mouth and clawed it While the Gudge cried, "Help!" with a dolorous yelp that frizzled the blood o' me. "O Gudge," says I, "It's the anchor of ourn you're eatin' –" "Gwan away if ye've nothin' to say," says the Gudge in a glummerin' grouch, "For I've swallered the prong and me pain is beyond repeatin'," Then he flibbered and flobbed and hollered and sobbed with a piscatorial "Ouch!" "Full orften I've swallered a Chinee junk and a dory, And I've made a snack of a fishin' smack, that bein' a tender treat, But me jaws grow weak as me head grows old and hoary And I never can rest when I can't digest the copper and steel I eat. "O wurra-wur-oo! I'm tellin' to you me troubles That you may judge of the pain o' the Gudge whose stummick is full o' ships," Then he blubbered again till the sea was a-brim with bubbles And twisted his face to a glum grimace and wrinkled his writhy lips. "Don't take on so," I says, "and I'll try to ease you." So I signaled above till a line was hove with a crowbar tied thereto, Then I says to the Gudge, "Here's a trick o' me own to please you. Now look straight south and open yer mouth and I'll see what a man can do." Then I druv the bar in the crease of his shining tushes And twisted and tugged and jiggered and lugged with a mighty, tremenjus pry, But the Gudge winced not at me wrenches and pulls and pushes, Till there riz a tear like a gallon o' beer to his indolent, rollin' eye. "Oh, stop!" says he, "it's the sensitive Gudge you're killin' – It's kind you are, but drop the bar, for yer efforts they ain't no use." But I yanked once more with a yank that was more than willin', And I tugged again with me might and main till the anchor and chain came loose. Then he gawped at me with a look o' surprise and puzzle, (Is the fish o' the sea afeard o' we or us'ns afeard o' they?) And seein' the anchor hangin' close to his muzzle He gave a gulp and swallered it up in a solemn and obstinate way. "Oh murder!" he cried as again it stuck in his gullet, "O pull it free, it's a-hurtin' of me — O slither me deaf and dumb!" "You've druven the cork," says I, "and you'll have to pull it — And I'll take no fudge from a deep sea Gudge," so back to the ship I swum. And the deep sea Gudge what lives on the floor o' the ocean He chaws in vain at our anchor chain which neither will break nor budge, And our bark rides high with never a move nor motion While we cusses the day we was fastened to stay by the whim o' the deep sea Gudge. Notes: From NAUTICAL LAYS OF A LANDSMAN, by Wallace Irwin, published by Dodd, Mead & Company, New York, US, © 1904, pp. 67-73. Cheerily, Charley Noble |