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15 Aug 08 - 12:37 PM (#2414695) Subject: BS: Midwestern Jadrool sighted in Orillia From: Little Hawk Hey! I just spotted a Midwestern Jadrool in my garden. What a frikkin' UGLY bird. Yech. Alert the Audobon Society at once. |
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15 Aug 08 - 01:01 PM (#2414727) Subject: RE: BS: Midwestern Jadrool sighted in Orillia From: Rapparee Shoot it. It's the only one left and the Audobon Society, the WWF, Friends of Animals, ELF, and the Society For The Preservation Of Butt-Ugly Birds want it extinct. |
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15 Aug 08 - 01:02 PM (#2414729) Subject: RE: BS: Midwestern Jadrool sighted in Orillia From: CarolC Is this it? Midwestern Jadrool? |
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15 Aug 08 - 01:07 PM (#2414740) Subject: RE: BS: Midwestern Jadrool sighted in Orillia From: Little Hawk AAAAAAAAAAAAUUUGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! Christ. No, that's something even worse, I think. |
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15 Aug 08 - 01:10 PM (#2414745) Subject: RE: BS: Midwestern Jadrool sighted in Orillia From: Rapparee That bird's kinda cute. The MJ isn't, and has warts besides. |
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15 Aug 08 - 01:15 PM (#2414752) Subject: RE: BS: Midwestern Jadrool sighted in Orillia From: CarolC This one looks like it has warts |
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15 Aug 08 - 01:28 PM (#2414777) Subject: RE: BS: Midwestern Jadrool sighted in Orillia From: Amos Now, now--beauty is in the eye of the beholder, not the eye of the Audobon Society. A |
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15 Aug 08 - 04:36 PM (#2414917) Subject: RE: BS: Midwestern Jadrool sighted in Orillia From: Rapparee Not in the case of the Jadrool (which, spelled backwards, is loordaJ, which is probably of no significance but then again might be). It's number 1 on the hit list of the Audobon Society's Subcommittee On The Extermination Of Birds So Ugly They Should Be Extinct. |
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15 Aug 08 - 04:43 PM (#2414922) Subject: RE: BS: Midwestern Jadrool sighted in Orillia From: Amos You just ask the Momma Jadrool about who has the most beautiful child in the universe, wise guy,... A |
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15 Aug 08 - 07:23 PM (#2415042) Subject: RE: BS: Midwestern Jadrool sighted in Orillia From: Bee-dubya-ell Ah yes, the Midwestern Jadrool! The only known bird with its left eye on the right side of it's head, and vice versa. The resulting state of perpetual disorientation gives it a very distinctive flight pattern characteristized by both upside-down flight and frequent ungainly collisions with the ground. Hence the Jadrool's common nickname of "The Broken Slinky Bird". |
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15 Aug 08 - 07:38 PM (#2415054) Subject: RE: BS: Midwestern Jadrool sighted in Orillia From: GUEST,Jack the Sailor >>>You just ask the Momma Jadrool about who has the most beautiful child in the universe, wise guy. Actually they are the ONLY species that encourage the cuckoo eggs. |
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15 Aug 08 - 08:53 PM (#2415087) Subject: RE: BS: Midwestern Jadrool sighted in Orillia From: Rapparee In fact, they are the only species that actually encourages the eating of omelets. |
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15 Aug 08 - 08:55 PM (#2415092) Subject: RE: BS: Midwestern Jadrool sighted in Orillia From: Little Hawk ...in a vain hope that their line will come to an end. These hopes have been perpetually frustrated by the fact that cooked Jadrool eggs taste awful! |
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15 Aug 08 - 09:03 PM (#2415107) Subject: RE: BS: Midwestern Jadrool sighted in Orillia From: GUEST,Jack the Sailor Rapaire!!! LOL I've seen lines of male Jadrools picketing Earth Day celebrations calling for more use of DDT! I've heard it said that only high rates of chronic nearsightedness among the mothers allows the species to survive. |
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15 Aug 08 - 09:04 PM (#2415108) Subject: RE: BS: Midwestern Jadrool sighted in Orillia From: Little Hawk I thought it was among the fathers. Or both? |
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15 Aug 08 - 09:07 PM (#2415111) Subject: RE: BS: Midwestern Jadrool sighted in Orillia From: Peace You're right. Both fathers. |
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15 Aug 08 - 09:12 PM (#2415115) Subject: RE: BS: Midwestern Jadrool sighted in Orillia From: Rapparee Yeah, their courtship ritual involves running away from each other as fast as they can. Reproduction only takes place because of a male running by accident into a female while running away from another female (and vice-versa). Among other very cogent reasons that reproduction is actively, nay, violently, discouraged by the female is because the bird lays pyramidal eggs with unequal sides. |
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15 Aug 08 - 09:17 PM (#2415121) Subject: RE: BS: Midwestern Jadrool sighted in Orillia From: frogprince Evidently these poor suckers are so ugly that Google refuses to show a single image of 'em... |
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15 Aug 08 - 09:18 PM (#2415123) Subject: RE: BS: Midwestern Jadrool sighted in Orillia From: Little Hawk Whew! This story just gets weirder, doesn't it? I have put birdseed of various sorts out in hopes that the Jadrool will return and then I can get photos. I've also put out suet, hamburgers, some beer and a fresh pizza. Something oughta work. |
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15 Aug 08 - 09:22 PM (#2415128) Subject: RE: BS: Midwestern Jadrool sighted in Orillia From: Peace UGLY. They so ugly that when they look in a mirror the mirror cries. |
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15 Aug 08 - 09:23 PM (#2415130) Subject: RE: BS: Midwestern Jadrool sighted in Orillia From: GUEST,Jack the Sailor A creature of suburban habitat, their diet consists mostly of half used tubes of acne cream and preparation H. |
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15 Aug 08 - 09:32 PM (#2415134) Subject: RE: BS: Midwestern Jadrool sighted in Orillia From: GUEST,Jack the Sailor It is not well known that the Midwestern Jadrool is not the world's ugliest bird. The Murphy's Stout book of Ugly Critters gives that dubious honor to the Hairy Peckered Fuckwit latin name Mentula Crinitus. |
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15 Aug 08 - 09:36 PM (#2415135) Subject: RE: BS: Midwestern Jadrool sighted in Orillia From: CarolC Ahem...Mentula Crinitus Fuckwitii |
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15 Aug 08 - 09:38 PM (#2415137) Subject: RE: BS: Midwestern Jadrool sighted in Orillia From: GUEST,Jack the Sailor I stand corrected! |
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15 Aug 08 - 09:53 PM (#2415149) Subject: RE: BS: Midwestern Jadrool sighted in Orillia From: Stilly River Sage Another ugly bird |
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15 Aug 08 - 11:30 PM (#2415203) Subject: RE: BS: Midwestern Jadrool sighted in Orillia From: katlaughing So is that "mid-western" as in "Ahia" aka Land of Spaw? Did it look anything like THIS!!!?? |
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16 Aug 08 - 12:44 AM (#2415217) Subject: RE: BS: Midwestern Jadrool sighted in Orillia From: Little Hawk Oh, MAN! We are gettin' close, Kat. Really close. Trouble is, the one I saw seemed to be wearing glasses. I know that's very odd, but I saw it with my own eyes. I have no explanation for how such a primitive creature would end up with spectacles, but there it was. Oh, and its chest plumage bore a strange resemblance to an ancient and rather filthy NASCAR T-shirt. |
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16 Aug 08 - 11:14 AM (#2415394) Subject: RE: BS: Midwestern Jadrool sighted in Orillia From: Rapparee "Shane" break outa jail, maybe? |
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16 Aug 08 - 12:39 PM (#2415438) Subject: RE: BS: Midwestern Jadrool sighted in Orillia From: Ebbie Few things have *no* redeeming features. The bird katlaughing linked to has nice hair. |
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16 Aug 08 - 12:42 PM (#2415442) Subject: RE: BS: Midwestern Jadrool sighted in Orillia From: Little Hawk Yeah, I thought so too. The Jadrool that I saw had pretty messy looking hair, however. |
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16 Aug 08 - 12:49 PM (#2415449) Subject: RE: BS: Midwestern Jadrool sighted in Orillia From: GUEST,Jack the Sailor The hairy peckered fukwit |
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16 Aug 08 - 01:45 PM (#2415506) Subject: RE: BS: Midwestern Jadrool sighted in Orillia From: GUEST,leeneia This is a music forum. :) You overlook it that the jadrool, while not noted for its beauty, has a beautiful song. Something that happens far too often in looks-oriented society. Sigh. |
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16 Aug 08 - 01:55 PM (#2415513) Subject: RE: BS: Midwestern Jadrool sighted in Orillia From: GUEST,Jack the Sailor Good point leeneia, But beauty is subjective. Jadrool song? |
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17 Aug 08 - 02:33 PM (#2416191) Subject: RE: BS: Midwestern Jadrool sighted in Orillia From: Little Hawk No jadrool. But a bear came last night and ate the hamburgers and pizza. The beer has also mysteriously disappeared. |
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17 Aug 08 - 04:14 PM (#2416252) Subject: RE: BS: Midwestern Jadrool sighted in Orillia From: Rapparee The sound of jadrool, as heard in the land, has oft been described as "an outrageous combination of bad accordion, bad banjo riffs, out-of-tune Jamaican steel drums, a flat tire being driven at 50 kph, and a piece of slate drawn across an old-time blackboard. Their mating call resembles nothing quite so much as a high-pitched 'Youbastardyouknockedmeup'" |
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17 Aug 08 - 07:24 PM (#2416378) Subject: RE: BS: Midwestern Jadrool sighted in Orillia From: Little Hawk I have placed a large bullseye on the ground in the backyard and a sign saying "LAND HERE". That may do the trick. I've set up an automatic camera with a heat-sensing device in case the Jadrool visits while I'm asleep. |
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17 Aug 08 - 08:15 PM (#2416427) Subject: RE: BS: Midwestern Jadrool sighted in Orillia From: GUEST,Jack The Sailor I hope you've gone analog. Do you know that their image has been known to fry the memory cards on some digital cameras? |
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18 Aug 08 - 08:06 AM (#2416688) Subject: RE: BS: Midwestern Jadrool sighted in Orillia From: Donuel You might be able to stop a Walmart development site with this endangered bird. Or iy may have genetic antibodies for the avian flu. If you cross this bird with an oistich you might get the fabled thunderbird. THE MAIN ISSUE IS does it taste good. |
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18 Aug 08 - 08:40 AM (#2416718) Subject: RE: BS: Midwestern Jadrool sighted in Orillia From: Rapparee Jadrool is listed by aviation authorities as "Edible -- it won't kill you even though you wish it would." Eating it produces permanent impotence in males, enhanced sexual drive in females when in the presence of males who have eaten jadrool (and only then), axillary warts, lingual paralysis, traffic-induced hallucinations, multilingual ability in non-existent languages, polylalia, renal artifacts of indeterminate age, hiccups, digital cramping during sexual activities, the inability to remember the rest of the song/music, cognitive dysfunction, innumeracy regarding wages, politically conservative remarks spontaneously expressed during labor union meetings and in similar settings, reversal of patellar function, dysplasia, endochronitis, permanent diarrhea, osculatory malfunction, CPD, TIA, and etc. The taste is said to be something between road tar and very old road kill when fresh and worse when aged longer than one standard minute. |
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18 Aug 08 - 09:08 AM (#2416749) Subject: RE: BS: Midwestern Jadrool sighted in Orillia From: GUEST,Jack the Sailor I've heard that it tastes like chicken. Like chicken dipped in road tar and rotted armadillo gonads. |
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19 Aug 08 - 08:40 AM (#2417638) Subject: RE: BS: Midwestern Jadrool sighted in Orillia From: Rapparee Armadillos have gonads? How can you tell? |
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19 Aug 08 - 08:53 AM (#2417648) Subject: RE: BS: Midwestern Jadrool sighted in Orillia From: Emma B this one has bols! :) |
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19 Aug 08 - 10:10 AM (#2417708) Subject: RE: BS: Midwestern Jadrool sighted in Orillia From: Little Hawk No sign of the Midwestern Jadrool, but I was gratified to see a Patterson's Twit this morning at the the bird feeder. Better than nothing. They are said to be very stupid birds, and it may be true. I had to rescue this one from drowning in the birdbath. |
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19 Aug 08 - 10:21 AM (#2417718) Subject: RE: BS: Midwestern Jadrool sighted in Orillia From: Emma B is there no privacy anywhere? |
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19 Aug 08 - 10:36 AM (#2417731) Subject: RE: BS: Midwestern Jadrool sighted in Orillia From: GUEST,leeneia So! with respect to the jadrool, you share the values of the Chinese bosses who didn't let the little girl's face show on the Olympics because her front teeth were still coming in. ie looks are everything! I'm shocked, I really am. ======== Little Hawk, was Patterson's Twit discovered by Spaw? |
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19 Aug 08 - 10:43 AM (#2417738) Subject: RE: BS: Midwestern Jadrool sighted in Orillia From: GUEST,Jack the Sailor Then there is the Heisenberg Loon, which flies so fast and dives so quickly that you can sometimes ascertain its velocity or location but never both at once. |
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19 Aug 08 - 11:34 AM (#2417780) Subject: RE: BS: Midwestern Jadrool sighted in Orillia From: Rapparee Don't ignore the Mudcatbird, which embodies, but is not limited to, the qualities of all of the above. |
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19 Aug 08 - 01:37 PM (#2417872) Subject: RE: BS: Midwestern Jadrool sighted in Orillia From: GUEST,Jack the Sailor They are of course the only known bird which has a large fleshy featherless bottom on which to repose. Hence the expression sitting in the mudcatbirdseat. |
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19 Aug 08 - 03:15 PM (#2417950) Subject: RE: BS: Midwestern Jadrool sighted in Orillia From: Little Hawk I'm not sure who discovered the Patterson's Twit, but it may have been one of Spaw's ancestors. |
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20 Aug 08 - 09:11 AM (#2418565) Subject: RE: BS: Midwestern Jadrool sighted in Orillia From: Rapparee Tatterson's Pit? Ain't that that lousy bar-b-q place out on old highway 15? The one that even burns the beer? |
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21 Aug 08 - 01:42 PM (#2419587) Subject: RE: BS: Midwestern Jadrool sighted in Orillia From: Little Hawk It's Thursday now and still no Jadrool. |
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22 Aug 08 - 12:29 PM (#2420154) Subject: RE: BS: Midwestern Jadrool sighted in Orillia From: Little Hawk Another day and still no Jadrool. |
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22 Aug 08 - 01:50 PM (#2420219) Subject: RE: BS: Midwestern Jadrool sighted in Orillia From: Rapparee Why would you even miss it? |
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22 Aug 08 - 02:03 PM (#2420230) Subject: RE: BS: Midwestern Jadrool sighted in Orillia From: Little Hawk Not if I had the gun loaded. |
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22 Aug 08 - 05:04 PM (#2420315) Subject: RE: BS: Midwestern Jadrool sighted in Orillia From: Rapparee It probably flew East for the winter. Or maybe Up. Or yonder. Jadrools are directionally challenged, big time challenged. |
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23 Aug 08 - 12:58 PM (#2420738) Subject: RE: BS: Midwestern Jadrool sighted in Orillia From: Little Hawk Nothing to see back there today but grass... |
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23 Aug 08 - 10:43 PM (#2420995) Subject: RE: BS: Midwestern Jadrool sighted in Orillia From: Rapparee That means it's hiding somewhere, biding its time, waiting for you to come outside and provide a meal.... |
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23 Aug 08 - 11:48 PM (#2421011) Subject: RE: BS: Midwestern Jadrool sighted in Orillia From: Little Hawk That's why I always let the dachshunds out first. |
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24 Aug 08 - 12:18 AM (#2421021) Subject: RE: BS: Midwestern Jadrool sighted in Orillia From: Art Thieme All of you who have mentioned the taste of these things are surely completely off the mark. My opinion is that the flavor is somewhere between a Bald Eagle and a Trumpeter Swan. Art Thieme |
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24 Aug 08 - 12:21 AM (#2421028) Subject: RE: BS: Midwestern Jadrool sighted in Orillia From: Little Hawk It depends mostly on whether they are in or out of season, doesn't it? |
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24 Aug 08 - 04:43 AM (#2421072) Subject: RE: BS: Midwestern Jadrool sighted in Orillia From: GUEST,Jack the Sailor It is interesting how the bird got its name. 1st Scientist: Vas iss dat coming from its beak? Iss it drool? 2nd Scientist: Ja.. drool. 1st scientist: Ja, drool. |
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24 Aug 08 - 12:44 PM (#2421249) Subject: RE: BS: Midwestern Jadrool sighted in Orillia From: Little Hawk That's it. You can always spot the Jadrool by watching for that telltale sign. |
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24 Aug 08 - 01:13 PM (#2421265) Subject: RE: BS: Midwestern Jadrool sighted in Orillia From: Bee-dubya-ell Not to be pedantic or anything, but the protruberance issuing from a Jadrool's head isn't technically a "beak". It's a "snout". The Jadrool is, in fact, the only bird known to have a snout instead of a beak. Also, while the substance sometimes seen issuing from a Jadrool's snout may be drool, it's just as likely to be snot. After its discovery, it was a toss up as to whether the creature should be called a "Jadrool" or a "Jasnot". The issue was decided when it was determined that any animal with "snot" as part of its name must be an oyster, and that the Jadrool appeared, mostly, to be a bird. |
