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25 Aug 08 - 09:57 AM (#2421731) Subject: BS: Walking the Dog From: olddude It was beautiful last night, the stars were out, it was warm. I could not sleep so I decided to take my old weiner dog Doolie for a walk. Sometime during our trek, I did it, I stepped in a doggie land mine and didn't realize it. Senses dull as we get older you see! Well needless to say I tracked it all over my house. My wife was really impressed this morning when she woke up. Now I get to steam clean rugs , mop floors and figure out how to clean all the little nooks and crannies from the sole of my new sneakers! Same thing happen last Christmas it was very cold and I took my family off to church like I always do. I did not realize that walking into church my shoe hit a frozen doggie land mine! Now Scientists use some very large numbers in describing vast periods of time. They use words like billions of, trillions of, light years, millennium and others. I have simplified the terminology somewhat. I have determined the formation of the earth took four hockey seasons or two Catholic high Masses at Christmas. As a Catholic, we kneel! What I did not realize is that as my shoe warmed up, and I would kneel, the people behind me would be in their own private version of Purgatory. I thought they were really religious. I could hear them praying. I found out afterwards - they were praying for the Mass to end! Stuff happens to Me! |
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25 Aug 08 - 10:11 AM (#2421737) Subject: RE: BS: Walking the Dog From: Ebbie lol Odors and Old Dudes just go together, I guess. Catchy song title anyway. |
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25 Aug 08 - 10:14 AM (#2421741) Subject: RE: BS: Walking the Dog From: GUEST,lox What a touching tale ... It makes me think of a couple of things: First, coming from an Irish family and having been brought up as a catholic I have no doubt that the people behind you were only too grateful to add to their penance, in the process ensuring full and proper absolution. And likewiise I imagine that they were praying that the stain might also be removed from your soul - or should that be sole ... ... hmmm ... The second thing was how much it annoys me that while I live near two public parks, which exist for the sole purpose that people can walk there dogs there and let them do what they gotta do without it being a risk for the feet of playing children, most of the dog owners in my area seem to take pride in allowing their dogs to .. erm ... mine the local streets. I caught a man recently watching his dog plant one enormous mine, before walking off with the dog and making no attempt to clean it up. When I questioned him about it and expressed my view that he knew full well what a disgusting thing it was to allow happen, he countered with the compelling argument: "I've lived here for 65 years". As you can imagine I was comletely persuaded by the sheer weight of his reasoning. Presumably he likes to live surrounded by ... doggy landmines ... |
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25 Aug 08 - 10:15 AM (#2421743) Subject: RE: BS: Walking the Dog From: Ebbie A friend of mine loved to tell the story of a time when a friend of his picked up the guys on some excursion. Suddenly the friend said, Hey, someone here's got some dog s*** - check your shoes. I smell it. The voices all responded, Not me. Not me. Not me. They drove farther and the driver swerved to the side of the street and stopped. He said, OK, everybody OUT! And clean off your shoes! The stuff was on HIS shoe. |
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25 Aug 08 - 10:29 AM (#2421751) Subject: RE: BS: Walking the Dog From: Little Hawk It's maddening! I have two of the little tiddlers here (dachshunds) and they leave their doggy landmines everywhere. I cannot count the number of times I have stepped in dog shit in the past year. Every day or so I go out in the yard peering around with a gardening tool and a shovel at the ready, looking for their latest contributions. One blessing...they are sooooo damn lazy that they won't bother going beyond a certain fairly confined radius to do their thing. There is no danger whatsoever of them messing up the neighbours' yards. Ha! Much too far away for these little sods. Too much effort involved. The worst is when you wear those work boots with the deep treads...those things collect dog shit like a magnet collects iron filings and they're hell to clean afterward. |
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25 Aug 08 - 10:32 AM (#2421755) Subject: RE: BS: Walking the Dog From: catspaw49 Ohdeargawd.............More friggin' Dachshunds.................................gimmee strength............................ Spaw |
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25 Aug 08 - 10:40 AM (#2421759) Subject: RE: BS: Walking the Dog From: Little Hawk Arf! Arf! Arf! Yap! Yap! Neef! Neef! Baff! Baff! (all the livelong day...) |
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25 Aug 08 - 10:48 AM (#2421766) Subject: RE: BS: Walking the Dog From: olddude My uncle Dan had a weiner dog named Pisser I asked him why one time when I was visiting why he named it that. The little dog came over and raised his leg on my ankle. Dan looked at me and said "do you have any other stupid questions for me to answer" this tragedy could not have been caused by a wiener dog. It was too big a pile to clean up |
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25 Aug 08 - 12:41 PM (#2421841) Subject: RE: BS: Walking the Dog From: PoppaGator Dang, when I opened this thread I was hoping it would be about Rufus Thomas, the once and future World's Oldest Teenager, and his greatest hit! |
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25 Aug 08 - 12:47 PM (#2421848) Subject: RE: BS: Walking the Dog From: olddude PoppaGator I am humming it for you right now if that helps |
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25 Aug 08 - 01:07 PM (#2421854) Subject: RE: BS: Walking the Dog From: PoppaGator "She broke her needle and she can't sew!" Thanks for the help, olddude! |
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25 Aug 08 - 01:15 PM (#2421856) Subject: RE: BS: Walking the Dog From: GUEST,lox One of the worlds great books don't judge it by its cover |
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25 Aug 08 - 01:19 PM (#2421861) Subject: RE: BS: Walking the Dog From: Donuel old dude we are kindred spirits of some sort. I have been writing a piece entitled 'walking the dog' for the last 4 days. It is existential flow of consciousness that is both social and enviormental. Walking the dog is a backdrop of viewing the world and measuring time. When I saw the thread title I wondered if I had been sleep posting, and I don't even take Ambien. |
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25 Aug 08 - 01:25 PM (#2421863) Subject: RE: BS: Walking the Dog From: Uncle_DaveO "Walking the Dog"??? But I don't even OWN a yo-yo! Dave Oesterreich |
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25 Aug 08 - 01:31 PM (#2421867) Subject: RE: BS: Walking the Dog From: olddude About two weeks ago when I was walking my dog (I always clean up after him and never let him in yards) a guy came out of his house as I passed by. He yells " You guys with dogs, do I let my dog shit in your yard" I yelled back " I don't know .. do you own a dog?" He slammed the door |
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25 Aug 08 - 05:26 PM (#2422011) Subject: RE: BS: Walking the Dog From: The Fooles Troupe RUFUS THOMAS; WALKING THE DOG :ady mac dressed in black silver buttons all down her back hello tipsy toe she broke the needle and she can't sow chorus; walking the dog just a walking the dog it you don't know how to do it I'll show you how to walk the dog asked my mama for fifteen cents see the elephant jump the fence he jumped so high he touched the sky never got back 'till the forth of july chorus mary mary quite contrary tell me how your garden grows you got silver bells and you got cocktail shells pretty maids all in a row chorus oh oh just a just a just a walking just a just a just a walking just a just a just a walking if you don't know how to do it I'll show you how to walk the dog just a just a just a just a (8 times) walking just a just a just a just a: (8 times) just a walking just a walking... |
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25 Aug 08 - 05:28 PM (#2422012) Subject: RE: BS: Walking the Dog From: GUEST,lox Whenever I see someone cleaning up after their dog, I generally make a point of going over and thanking them. It usually cheers them up to hear it as much as it cheers me up to see it. |
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28 Aug 08 - 05:31 AM (#2424109) Subject: RE: BS: Walking the Dog From: GUEST,lox Old dude and LH, and what the hell ... spaw too ... check this out |
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28 Aug 08 - 06:03 AM (#2424124) Subject: RE: BS: Walking the Dog From: Paul Burke I have determined the formation of the earth took four hockey seasons or two Catholic high Masses at Christmas. But the Good Friday liturgy is a sight longer than both of those, by which standard the Earth hasn't yet been created. Which, of course, comes as no surprise. Perhaps it won't be complete until it is entirely covered by a layer of dog muck. |
