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31 Aug 08 - 03:04 PM (#2426955) Subject: Mad Magazine parodies From: Fred Maslan I remember fondly from my youth that Mad Magazine did a number of parodies of popular songs and classics. The one I remember best was their parody of "Tea for Two" post WWIII Picture you alone with me A tree for two our home would be With me for you and you for me ALONE! Nobody near us to see or to hear us No inlaws arriving Cause none are surviving No one will phone dear Cause there are no phones to own, dear That's all I remember, but i would love to have more. If anyone remembers or has ancient moldering copies of mad they can research I would be most apreciative. Thank you all. |
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31 Aug 08 - 03:17 PM (#2426962) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: MartinRyan "I wandered lonely as a cloud ....... When all at once I spied a crowd - A host of golden daffodils. Beside the lake, beneath the trees Enough to make a man's blood freeze." Jeez! I'm getting flashbacks of Black Spy and White Spy! Regards |
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31 Aug 08 - 03:22 PM (#2426966) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: fat B****rd I can't remenmber the words but in their Beat Generation parody "Wouldn't It Be Loverly" became "Wouldn't It Be Kerouac". Now I wish I'd kept all my Mad paperbacks !! |
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31 Aug 08 - 03:23 PM (#2426969) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: bubblyrat What ? Me worry ? |
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31 Aug 08 - 03:58 PM (#2426996) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: Little Robyn The girl that I marry will have to be A purple skinned beauty with 2 heads or 3 The girl I call my wife Will have a nose with 8 nostrils you play like a fife The girl I propose to Will have 7 toes too Like me. I have often walked down the street before But there once was...... I can't remember. Actually, they did several shows over the years - I'm sure they did West Side Story but I can't remember any of the song parodies from that one. I was a Mad fan once but that was about 40 years ago now! But I did buy a couple for my daughter when she was school age. Robyn |
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01 Sep 08 - 03:17 AM (#2427398) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: Paul Burke The "daffodils" parody ran: I wandered lonely as a clod, Just picking up old rags and bottles; When onward on my way I trod, I saw a host of axolotls. Beside the lake, beneath the trees A sight to make a man's blood freeze. Some had handles, some were plain; They came in blue, red, pink and green. Some were orange in the main-- The damnedest sight I've ever seen. The females gave a spritely glance, The male ones all wore knee-length pants. |
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01 Sep 08 - 03:38 AM (#2427402) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: MartinRyan Paul Thanks for that! True poetry never dies! Regards p.s. Sounds like the early days of the Morris dance revival... |
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01 Sep 08 - 03:45 AM (#2427407) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: katlaughing I have a lot of them in some bin in storage. I bought them religiously until Bill Gaines died and it went to crap. When I find them next, I'll have a look. |
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01 Sep 08 - 03:46 AM (#2427408) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: Mr Happy http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mad_(magazine) |
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01 Sep 08 - 08:52 AM (#2427579) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: Bat Goddess "My" era was late '50s - early '60s and I memorized (not exactly intentionally) a lot of Mad doggeral. Wish I could find copies of the originals to see if my memory is any good! (Especially of "The Spaniel", the Mad parody of Edgar Allen Poe's "The Raven".) I think that I should never hear A poem as lovely as a beer. The brew that Joe's Bar has on tap With golden base and flowing cap. The stuff I sit and drink all day Until my memory melts away. Poems are made by fools, I fear, But only Schlitz can make a beer. or Tigers, Tigers, fighting bright In the ball parks of the night Your pitching's fair, your field adroit, So why no pennants for Detroit? You blaze around the big league parks With bats that fairly give off sparks, But when they total up the score You've lost again to Baltimore. The Cleveland Indians go to work. They beat you good, so does New York. When Boston adds a mortal blow, All you can shout's "Look out below!" Tigers, Tigers, fighting bright In the ball parks of the night. Someday the fans will get their fill And ship the team to Louisville. Really wish I could find the words to "The Spaniel" ... Linn |
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01 Sep 08 - 09:04 AM (#2427587) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: MartinRyan This being the Mudcat - we have it already! Click here! Regards p.s. Well... a good start anyway! |
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01 Sep 08 - 11:08 AM (#2427680) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,Nicholas Waller You can get 50+ years of MAD Magazine from 1952-2006 on 2 DVDs... 600 issues, 17,500 pages. I've just ordered it, not got it yet, so not sure what it's like in terms of quality. I don't think I've read MAD in decades, but I've fond memories of the late-60s era and can recall several artists - Don Martin, Al Jaffee, Dave Berg, Mort Drucker (the film parodies), Sergio Aragones (the marginal drawn-out dramas) - off the top of my head, which I can't say about many other comic artists (except Frank Bellamy of TV21/Thunderbirds/Zero-X fame. And Her"Tintin"Ge, of course). When I mentioned MAD-DVD to my brother, he asked how you would get the inside-back-cover foldins to work. I didn't know, but I just found the New York Times, of all places, has a few interactive MAD foldins on their site. |
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01 Sep 08 - 11:29 AM (#2427690) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: MartinRyan It was the schooner Hesperus that sailed the wintry sea And the skipper had taken his little 'hem-hem' to keep him company. Was that another from the same stable? Regards |
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01 Sep 08 - 11:40 AM (#2427703) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: Micca Friends,Romans, hipsters let me clue you in we come to put Caeser down not to groove him |
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01 Sep 08 - 01:50 PM (#2427803) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: Fred Maslan More! Ah ha ha More! Ah ha ha ha ha More! Ah ha ha ha ha ha......; |
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01 Sep 08 - 03:43 PM (#2427910) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: Little Robyn Good link Mr Happy: In 1961, a group of music publishers representing songwriters such as Irving Berlin, Richard Rodgers and Cole Porter filed a $25 million lawsuit against Mad for copyright infringement following "Sing Along With Mad," a collection of parody lyrics "sung to the tune of" many popular songs. The publishing group hoped to establish a legal precedent that only a song's composers retained the right to parody that song. The U.S. District Court ruled largely in favor of Mad in 1963, affirming its right to print 23 of the 25 song parodies under dispute. An exception was found in the cases of two parodies, "Always" (sung to the tune of "Always") and "There's No Business Like No Business" (sung to the tune of "There's No Business Like Show Business"). Relying on the same verbal hooks ("always" and "business"), these were found to be overly similar to the originals. The music publishers appealed the ruling, but the U.S. Court of Appeals not only upheld the pro-Mad decision in regard to the 23 songs, it stripped the publishers of their limited victory regarding the remaining two songs. The publishers again appealed, but the Supreme Court refused to hear it, thus allowing the decision to stand.[13][21] This precedent-setting case established the rights of parodists and satirists to mimic the meter of popular songs. However, the "Sing Along With Mad" songbook was not the magazine's first venture into musical parody. In 1960, Mad had published "My Fair Ad-Man," a full advertising-based spoof of the hit Broadway musical "My Fair Lady." In 1959, "If Gilbert & Sullivan wrote Dick Tracy" was one of the speculative pairings in "If Famous Authors Wrote the Comics". Very interesting! Those are the ones I remember. And this bit could have been a problem for many of us: "The publishing group hoped to establish a legal precedent that only a song's composers retained the right to parody that song." Robyn |
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01 Sep 08 - 03:45 PM (#2427914) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: Severn The whole "East Side Story" musical spoof anf the fight songs for different occupations. |
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01 Sep 08 - 04:11 PM (#2427940) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: Charley Noble What about the potrzebie and the eggplant? "Potrzebie" is alleged to be Polish for "I had one grunch but the eggplant over there." Gives one a lot to think about. Charley Noble |
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01 Sep 08 - 04:22 PM (#2427952) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: katlaughing Guest, Nicholas, thanks for the info and links!! I raised my kids on MAD, again, until Gaines died. My copies are all tattered and worn as each child grew old enough to read them.:-) |
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01 Sep 08 - 04:35 PM (#2427966) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: Bainbo Micca - I thought at first yours was from Lord Buckley; but of course, it's not. His version of Mark Anthony went: "Hipsters, flipsters and finger-poppin' daddies. Knock me your lobes." I remember one of the Mad Magazine parodies had Napoleon singing, to the tune of We'll Have Manhattan: "I'll conquer Russia / Then all of Prussia / I will win. / Then I'll go marching in / Berlin." But, for some reason, the one that's stuck in my mind in its entirety is a Christmas parody, to the tune of Deck The Halls: Deck the bars with Christmas drinking Fa-la-la-la-la la-la-la-la See the people getting stinking Fa-la-la-la-la la-la-la-la Though their brains are half corroded, Fa-la-la la-la la-la-la-la |
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01 Sep 08 - 04:48 PM (#2427979) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: Bainbo Second half of my post disappeared. Don't know why. Deck the bars with Christmas drinking Fa-la-la-la-la la-la-la-la See the people getting stinking Fa-la-la-la-la la-la-la-la Though their brains are half corroded, Fa-la-la la-la-la la-la-la Still they try to drive home loaded Fa-la-la-la-la la-la-la-la. See the busy intersection Fa-la-la-la-la la-la-la-la Here come cars from each from each direction Fa-la-la-la-la la-la-la-la See the pile-up as they're meeting Fa-la-la la-la-la la-la-la What a novel Christmas greeting Fa-la-la-la-la la-la-la-la Do you know, that must have been rattling around in my head for 35 years and - apart from humming it to myself - I've never had any cause to use it, until now. This will probably prove quite cathartic. Thanks, Fred. |
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01 Sep 08 - 08:41 PM (#2428191) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: Charley Noble Bainbo- Thanks for the extra verses to "Deck the Hall with Boston Charlie." Charley Noble |
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02 Sep 08 - 10:11 AM (#2428723) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: clueless don One that I remember: When you eat meat and hate the meat that you're eating you have surely got... Ground Round! It's so unnerving when they're constantly serving in an eating spot... Ground Round! It may be called a chopped steak, Salisbury, or beef patty. No matter what it's called it's always overcooked and fatty. What can you do? Call out to your waiter there, beat down on your table stand up on your chair and say Ground Round! piled on my plate I see Ground Round! you're always conning me! Ground Round! Why does it have to be Ground Round... Ground Round... Ground Round...[fade out] Don |
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02 Sep 08 - 01:41 PM (#2428957) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: Roger in Baltimore To the tune "Anchor Aweigh" Trash cans away my boys, Trash cans away. Let's hear you make some noise, We'll wake them up today. Egg shells and coffe grounds, Grease from the pan, Don't make ear-splitting sounds, So dump that garbage, dump that garbage can. Bi RiB |
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02 Sep 08 - 02:03 PM (#2428982) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,A E Neuman "Casey, Casey, we'll lead the gang all through: Drive half-crazy, right down the avenue, We'll do a ton up the M1. Old ladies we will knock down, And we'll not stop for any cop, On our motorbike built for two" |
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02 Sep 08 - 09:00 PM (#2429404) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: Bat Goddess MartinRyan -- Did you notice who posted "The Spaniel"? Moi -- Bat Goddess. From memory. Wish I could find a copy to compare the memory to!!! Linn |
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02 Sep 08 - 09:19 PM (#2429411) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: Bat Goddess How about Mad's hipster version of the Gettysburg Address? -- Four score and like seven years ago Our old daddies came on this scene With a new group, grooved in free kicks And hip to the jazz that all cats make it the same. ... We're here on a wild spot of that hassle And we've got eyes to tag a bit as a lay down pad For those who here conked out that our group might still score. It's frantically cool and jivey that we're on this kick But in a bigger ribble we can't clue in, we can't sound off... Alas, memory fails. Linn |
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03 Sep 08 - 12:37 AM (#2429512) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,Gerry At http://jeffersonbedford.blogspot.com/ it says, 4 score and like 7 years ago our old daddies came on this scene with a new group grooved in free kicks, and hip to the jazz that all cats make it the same. Now we're real hung up in a crazy big hassle, digging whether that group, or any group so grooved and so hip, can keep on swinging. We're making it on a wild spot of that hassle. We've got eyes to tag a little of that spot as a last lay-down pad for those who here conked out, so that group might still score. It's frantically cool and jivey that we're on this kick. But in a bigger ribble. we can't shake up, we can't sound off, we can't even clue in this jazz. The cool cats. with us and down yonder, who flipped here, have pegged it straighter tha we could ever mess with. The squares will never buy this bit, nor dig the lyrics we spiel here; but they can't ever put down what those studs did here. It's for us, the on-cats, who ought to pick up on those still-wailing blues which the off-cats who goofed here have blown so crazily up to now. MAN!! Like we really ought to be here with eyes fixed on this wild gig that still needs action, that from those far-out D.O.A. is we get a little higher on that kick for which they really went and flipped their gaskets; that we take it on to set straight - that these cats shall not have kicked off squares; that this group under God, shall blow a crazy new sound, and that a hot combo - of the hipsters, by the hipsters and for the hipsters, shall not cut from this scene. |
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03 Sep 08 - 10:07 AM (#2429796) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: Fred Maslan You had to be familiar with Shakespear in order to get it! |
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03 Sep 08 - 11:13 AM (#2429862) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: EBarnacle One of my most frequent citations is from MAD's take off on Chuck Connors' "The Rifle, man." As they are wandering through the West, with Chuck blowing people away on sight, his son asks: "Daddy, you say you're a peace loving man; so how come you keep killing them?" The reply: "There ain't nothin' so peaceful as a dead man, son." Sadly, it is still relevant today. |
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03 Sep 08 - 11:42 AM (#2429901) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: Kevin Sheils Little Robyn wrote I have often walked down the street before But there once was...... I can't remember. Ah that was the "My Fair Advertising Executive" one The only verse I can recall is "People stop and stare At the colored (sic) signs Telling them to buy their cheese from Kraft And beans from Heinz" The rest has gone with a few brain cells. |
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03 Sep 08 - 02:10 PM (#2430056) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: Cool Beans In Levittown did Irving Kahn A stately pleasure dome decree Where Alf the sacred Neuman dwelt.... |
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03 Sep 08 - 06:44 PM (#2430312) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: Bat Goddess Thank you, Guest Gerry!!! Now if someone can find "The Spaniel"... Linn |
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04 Sep 08 - 02:24 AM (#2430570) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: Piers Plowman The only bit of MAD comic verse I remember is this one: Ringo, Paul, George and John Played a trick and put us on: They said Paul was dead as nails And rocketed the record sales! I subscribed to MAD for a few years during puberty and finally cancelled when I'd gotten sick of it. I saw William Gaines on a Saturday morning children's TV show and I vaguely remember the interview. There was a question about doing something different and he responded by saying something about having a recipe (or something) and sticking to it. I felt rather let down and disappointed, however, it was obviously true. Very shortly afterwards I cancelled my subscription. Mostly, MAD's style of humor irritates me now, whereby I mean my memories of it, since I don't think I've looked inside one since the mid-1970s. However, I can appreciate the talent and skill that went into it. I have mixed feelings about William Gaines. According to what I've read, his very gruesome horror comics were a major factor in the introduction of the Comic Book Code (or whatever it was called) and he avoided the consequences by publishing MAD as a magazine rather than a comic book (except for the very first issue or so). I don't think it's a black and white issue. The Comic Book Code resulted in rather bland comics but I wouldn't give some of what had been being published to children to read. |
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04 Sep 08 - 09:57 AM (#2430805) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: Bee-dubya-ell From around 1965, to the tune of "White Christmas" I'm screaming at a white sheepdog; One who is sitting in my chair. It's a thing I'm dreading, The way he's shedding, And covering everything with hair. I'm screaming at a white sheepdog And should he visit you some night, May his bark be worse than his blight, And may all your furniture be white. |
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04 Sep 08 - 12:48 PM (#2430955) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: EBarnacle Mad originated as Mad Comics, published by EC [Educational Comics], which was, as mentioned above, one of the causes of the Code. When I was 8, I ws sent to sleepaway camp. I once had a collection of Mad Comics and early Mad Magazines. When I got back, we had moved and all "that trash" had been discarded. Some things you don't forget. |
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04 Sep 08 - 01:30 PM (#2430996) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,robpape One I recall was I remember I remember the house where I was born.... My 11 brothers hated me... My sisters felt the same .. Mum never called me at breakfast... She couldn't remember my name !! Also any one recall My Blue Shelter ??? Just a hole in the floor A six inch thick lead door ... Will lead you to my Blue Shelter Do you know the rest ??? |
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04 Sep 08 - 10:33 PM (#2431485) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: Barbara There's a huge mushroom cloud looming upwards (2X) It may seem to appear that an A Bomb dropped here, But it's only our barbecue out in the rear... Oh what a beautiful beefsteak, Oh, what a sweet tenderloin Too bad that pop had to cook out Black to a crisp it will burn (boin). that's all I remember. Oh What a Beautiful Morning. Blessings, Barbara |
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01 Oct 08 - 07:59 PM (#2455265) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,Neville Orange I have often walked down this street before but the pavement always stayed beneath my feet before now as I walk by I see rubble fly boy it's rough on the street where you live. People stop and stare, they don't bother me I've got lead underwear, I'm safe as I can be All the air is filled with radioactivity and it's worse on the street where you live. And oh the frightening feeling as the glow spreads over the land that exposed to lightening feeling as the Geiger counter clicks to beat the band. There are no more trees they've been all knocked down and you'll never hear a bird in any part of town see the plane draw near, let's get out of here Yucca Flats is no street where to live. |
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01 Oct 08 - 08:41 PM (#2455285) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: Cool Beans Just Molly and me, Let's see, that makes three... |
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02 Oct 08 - 10:52 AM (#2455532) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: JJ A hundred and one Slugs of fun That's my little tommy-gun! Gonna use my tommy-gun tonight... From "South Chicago," a parody of "South Pacific" |
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02 Oct 08 - 11:40 AM (#2455596) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: davyr Little Robyn said: Actually, they did several shows over the years - I'm sure they did West Side Story but I can't remember any of the song parodies from that one. Although I can still visualise that parody quite clearly (Kruschev and Kennedy were the two rival gang leaders), the only line I can recall is "Brush teeth with Crest in Amer-ica!" The other "Girl that I marry" line I remember went: "The girl that I marry will have to be A real Transylvanian monstrosity!" |
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02 Oct 08 - 01:26 PM (#2455704) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: clueless don davyr, wasn't that "The thing that I bury..."? or possibly "The ghoul that I bury..."? I think the parody was called "Manny get your ghoul". Memories have faded as regards the West Side Story parody - possibly it was called "East Side Story" (is the U. N. building located on New York's East Side?) I remember a song sung by Mao Tse Tung (I think that's how his name was transliterated back then), which included the lines "Please be sweet to us, and give a seat to us. [????] and such joy you'll get, like we gave Tibet" and later there was a verse that ended "like our troops are in North Vietnam". Another section was "That's right! You bet! We will preserve law and order, like when we crossed India's border." All to the tune of "There's a Place for Us". Don |
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02 Oct 08 - 01:56 PM (#2455745) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: Oldguit When I were a lad, an older friend of mine gave me one of those flimsy free giveaway 45's from MAD MAG. it was a parody of Christmas speeches from around the world. I wish I still had it. The bits I remember are: Jesus himself was a radical and a socialist (in a harold Wilson voice) Here in the Commonwealth or the common poverty as we sometimes call it. (in an indian accent) Refs to Santa thrusting himself up the soothy pathage (in a rather lithpy accent) Here we are swealtering around the traditional yule tide fire (in an Australian accent) That's my lot. If anyone has any more of it, I'd love to know. Oldguit Arr |
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03 Oct 08 - 04:52 AM (#2456185) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: davyr Don, yes, I think you're right - it was "The ghoul that I bury". And it definitely was "East Side Story". Blimey, it's getting tough remembering stuff from the early 60s with any degree of accuracy. Perhaps I really was there after all... |
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03 Oct 08 - 08:22 AM (#2456303) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: clueless don Oldguit, I also remember those giveaway 45's! As I recall, I had one with a song called "She got a nose job". It started She got a nose job She got a nose job it's now turned up instead of hanging down She got a nose job She got a nose job and now she's the prettiest gal in town! But I'm off-topic, since that wasn't a parody. Don |
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03 Oct 08 - 08:26 AM (#2456304) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: mrmoe I looked both long and hard for a copy of "she got a nose job"; finally found a copy of the "mad twists rock & roll" lp that had it.....I actually have a digitized (cd) of that lp now... |
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03 Oct 08 - 08:24 PM (#2456806) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: Bat Goddess I remember "She Got A Nose Job" -- and it still pops into my consciousness when I least expect it (as does a lot of early '60s Mad satire). Anyone come up with the Edgar Allan Poe (or Edgar, Al, and Moe) parody of "The Raven" redone as "The Spaniel"? "Once upon a midnight cautious, while I pondered weak and nauseous Over many an advertising copy I had wrote for Macy's store. While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping As of someone loudly rapping, rapping at my office door. 'Tis some client there," I muttered. Only this and nothing more." Etcet Remember a fair amount, but not the whole thing. Linn |
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03 Oct 08 - 10:32 PM (#2456848) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: Cool Beans Quoth the spaniel, "Drink Blatz Beer." (That's all I've got) |
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04 Oct 08 - 08:28 AM (#2457025) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: Bat Goddess Here's what I've got -- incomplete, of course. I've posted it on a previous Mad doggeral thread. Really would like to find the complete poem somewhere. Linn The Spaniel Once upon a midnight cautious while I pondered weak and nauseous Over many an advertising copy that I wrote [sic] for Macy's store. While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping As of someone loudly rapping, rapping at my chamber door. "Tis some client there," I muttered. Only this and nothing more. Then I felt my terror worsen, for my guest was not a person. In there stepped a cocker spaniel, naturally I jumped in fear. Tried to climb an oaken panel, ripping there my new grey flannel But the spaniel only stood there, speaking out with voice so clear Speaking out like Jack Lescoulie in a voice both loud and clear. Quoth the spaniel, "Drink Blatz beer." How I marvelled this ungainly dog that did commercials plainly Thoughts of fortunes I could make now make me shake down to my knees. But the spaniel set me grieving then by turning tail and leaving Chasing him along the hallway, crying out, "Stay with me me please!" Chasing him along the hallway, crying out, "Stay with me please!" Quoth the spaniel, "Eat Kraft Cheese." |
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05 Oct 08 - 02:43 AM (#2457494) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,Jeff There're only a few I can recall: One was sung to the tune of 'Deck The Halls...it was about Halloween pranks. Wreck the walls and fences golly Fa la la la la la la la la Isn't trick or treating jolly? fa la la la la la la la la Ring that doorbell, slash that tire Fa la la la la la la la la Trip that old man witha wire Fa la la la la la la la la... Fouth of July: Hark! The Herald Angels Sing Boom! the cherry bombs explode blowing potholes in the rode One went off by Irving's Mama Now Irving's mama's in a coma... April 15th(Income tax day)It Came Upon A Midnight Clear They come on April 15th dear to take away our gold... That's all I can remember. The magazines belonged to my older brother and if he caught me w/one of them I'd get a sound thrashing...that is until I reached puberty and things began to even out a bit... |
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05 Oct 08 - 02:51 AM (#2457496) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,Volgadon Does anyone remember the Fiddler on the Roof parody? |
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07 Oct 08 - 08:32 AM (#2459166) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: clueless don GUEST,Jeff, I don't remember all of "April 15th(Income tax day)It Came Upon A Midnight Clear", but I believe it ends with Oh Income Tax you break our backs the government takes all! A thief of any other kind would never have such gall. Don |
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15 Oct 08 - 04:17 PM (#2466605) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,bioray1 I have been trying to get "The Spaniel" for several years. All I can remember is Quoth the spaniel, "Buy a Ford". I contend that it was the best parody of all time! |
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15 Oct 08 - 09:58 PM (#2466867) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: Lonesome EJ Remember the little comments printed sideways in the margins of the Mad Paperbacks? Deutschland Uber Alles Alice got run over by a volkswagon |
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15 Oct 08 - 10:57 PM (#2466884) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: Rapparee Wreck the walls and fences golly Fa la la la la la la la la Isn't trick or treating jolly? fa la la la la la la la la Ring that doorbell, slash that tire Fa la la la la la la la la Trip that old man with a wire Fa la la la la la la la la. Dressed in sheets and odd apparel, Fa... Can't tell John from Max or Carol. Fa... Which is good, 'cause no one else can Fa... Just like grown-ups play Ku Klux Klan. Fa... I'll remember the New Year's Eve Carol in few minutes..days...weeks. |
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15 Oct 08 - 11:07 PM (#2466888) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: Rapparee My father he was a moonshine man A regular sort of feller He kept Ma plastered for forty years With the still he ran in the cellar. I remember the folks who sampled his stuff The glassy looks on their faces One day our spaniel inhaled the fumes And dropped dead at twenty paces. Us boys we got in the moonshine game And gave the business new birth. The oldest is now at Alcatraz, The youngest at Leavenworth. But they never caught my father though And they no longer raid his place: The revenooers now buy his stuff For use at a missile base. |
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15 Oct 08 - 11:13 PM (#2466892) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: Lonesome EJ Anyone remember the Mad Christmas carol parodies? There was one about watching out for holiday drunks called Sodden Clods are Coming to Town. I have no idea what the words were. |
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15 Oct 08 - 11:15 PM (#2466894) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: Rapparee A New Year's Eve Carol Well you'd better watch out You'd better not try Traveling about, I'm telling you why: Sodden clods are painting The town. They're wrecking the bars, They're starting street fights, They're having one of their naughtiest nights Sodden clods are painting The town. Blithe New Year's drivers pickled In alcoholic brine Will gaily bounce off walls and trees To strains of "Auld Lang Syne." So you'd better stay home And drink your own rye, You're crazy to roam It's obvious why: Sodden clods are painting The town. |
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15 Oct 08 - 11:16 PM (#2466895) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: Rapparee Hey! Two minutes! Now that's fast answering, dude! |
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16 Oct 08 - 09:06 AM (#2467182) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: Bat Goddess Thanks, Rapaire! I've had bits of the moonshiner one bouncing off the interior of my brain for years -- didn't have enough of it to even collate a question about it. Linn |
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17 Oct 08 - 04:46 PM (#2468569) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: Bat Goddess Another bit, don't know what the source (other than Mad circa 1960-64) -- In the drink he should have went Neatly cased in wet cement. and The gang he squealed on had the urge To sing and strum his funeral dirge. Linn |
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17 Oct 08 - 05:00 PM (#2468582) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,TJ in San Diego On the outside of my office, on the common bulletin board and beautifully framed, resides a portrait of the ineffable Alfred E. Neumann in all his manifest glory. Under his picture, in the spirit of current events, is the usual slogan: "What? Me Worry?" Having grown up with the rascal, I should have memorialized this singular symbol in song, but never did. Thanks to those who had the foresight to recognize this "gentleman's?" contributions to our culture. |
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17 Oct 08 - 05:03 PM (#2468585) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: Rapparee Here's to you, little man, Barefoot boy with cheeks of tan The gang you squealed on has the urge To sing and strum your funeral dirge. In the drink you should have went Neatly cased in wet cement. |
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17 Oct 08 - 11:33 PM (#2468862) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: Lonesome EJ Rapaire, I'm in awe. If that mind could only have been harnessed for the good of mankind! |
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18 Oct 08 - 07:57 AM (#2469039) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: Rapparee Yeah, well, you oughta life with it. Now, where's my keys...er, glasses...er, pants.... |
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18 Oct 08 - 08:00 AM (#2469042) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: Rapparee Sorry, I just remembered two lines to the previous poem. They belong just before the last two line I typed -- in the middle, so to speak: Here's to you, little man, Barefoot boy with cheeks of tan The gang you squealed on has the urge To sing and strum your funeral dirge. Delinquency can be a blight When clods like you don't do it right. In the drink you should have went Neatly cased in wet cement. |
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18 Oct 08 - 08:54 AM (#2469075) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: Little Hawk There was one they did which was a musical with a whole bunch of popular newspaper and comic characters in it, all of whom got to do a song. Tarzan's was "The Girl That I Marry" and it went like this... The girl that I marry will have to be As light on her feet as a chimpanzee The girl with whom I'll romp Will swing through the jungle and smell like a swamp A bone of white ivory will grace her nose She'll spring like a panther when I propose 'Stead of sighin', she'll be cryin' With the roar of a half-crazy lion Athletic and hairy the girl that I marry must be ****** Dagwood Bumstead's was "Old Man Dithers" Oh, Old Man Dithers That Old Man Dithers He just keeps screamin' He keeps on steamin' Yeah, Old Man Dithers He just keeps screamin' all day... I get no Blue Cross No paid up pension A raise I'm needin' But don't dare mention Cos Old Man Dithers He'd only lower my pay! Look at me... It's just a crime... No vacation... Or overtime... Nine till five... Like a slob... Be a minute late and I'd lose my job... I feel I'm fadin' It's gettin' hazy Goodbye to Blondie! Goodbye to Daisy! And Old Man Dithers can keep on screamin' all day.... Dagwood tragically sings the above song and then expires, having been accidentally shot a minute earlier by Dick Tracy who is in pursuit of criminals at the time and shoots Dagwood because...why? Because Dick Tracy has incredibly lousy aim! He NEVER succeeds in hitting the person he's aiming at, but always shoots some innocent bystander instead. Oh, the shame of it! Looking down at Dagwood's pathetic dead body, Tracy begins to weep. Whoever is with him (Tarzan, I think...) asks Tracy if he is weeping in remorse for having killed Dagwood. Tracy says, "No, I just got some smoke in my eyes." And then he sings this song: Smoke Gets in Your Eyes They...ask me why I sob Killing some poor slob.... I, of course, reply, "When the bullets fly, something makes me cry." True...I am just a heel...sorrow I don't feel.... Shooting the wrong guy Didn't make me cry Smoke got in my eyes And that's all I remember. Danged if I can recall what the point of the overall story was...but it had some really cool songs in it. |
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26 Oct 08 - 10:05 PM (#2476935) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,bobbie what year and month was south chicago |
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26 Oct 08 - 10:35 PM (#2476953) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST Hey that's from April of 63. I just got the Mad issues dvd what fun. I think it's fun and then remember that the contexts are time specific and wonder if all of it would translate to those who don't remember these days. What a way to review History.
Thanks. -Joe Offer- |
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26 Oct 08 - 10:57 PM (#2476961) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: Cluin To the tune of America the Beautiful: Oh cancerous, for smoggy skies, for pesticidal grain Irritated mountains rise above an asphalt plain America, America, thy sins shall be thy doom Monoxide clouds shall be thy shrouds, thy cities be thy tomb Still, Fester Bestertester is alive and well and living in Peru. Or was it Argentina? |
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31 Oct 08 - 11:56 PM (#2481403) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,Tom The one I remember is "I've Got To Stop Smoking" sung to the tune of "On Top Of Old Smoky" I've got to stop smoking My doctor has said Or else when I'm seven I'm sure to be dead Cigarettes can cause cancer But that makes no sense I've got to stop stealing My dear daddy's Kents Now here in the sixties When going with chicks Cigarettes can give status To a boy who is six But I must live clean now At six life is ripe Cigarettes I will give up And switch to a pipe |
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08 Nov 08 - 09:43 PM (#2488806) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,YAFI Service song parodies: The GM workers song, (Marines) From the gaudy grill of Cadillac To the fins of Chevrolet. We will push GMs new models And ,make obselence pay So the heck with Ford and Crysler boys And to sports cars from afar We won't stop till every family Owns a brand new GM car -------------------------------------- The Dentists Anthem (Air Force) Off we go into that wild mouth yonder Looking for molars to fill There's a tooth waiting to feel our thunder At em boys give it the drill rat-a-tat-tat We dislike cavities left untreated Teeth look bad, full of decay So when were in doubt we just pull em out O nothing can stip a dentist to day ----------------------------------------- Teamsters (Army) On the street, On the road, We won't carry a full load As the teamsters go rolling along Make em pass On the right Keep your union card in sight As the teamsters go rolling along And its hi hi hey, when we want a raise in pay We shout out our grevience loud an strong And where ere you go, you will alway know That the teamsters stopped rolling along --------------------------------------- Trash Cans Away (Navy) has already been posted, I don't remember the Coast Guard parody |
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09 Nov 08 - 06:20 PM (#2489354) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: Geordie-Peorgie Aah remember one where they wrote a 'hospital story' to the tunes of 'Oklahoma' The tune is 'Oh what a beautiful morning' There's a big yellow cist on his elbow There's a big yellow cist on his elbow da da da da da etc etc Chorus (after the patient snuffs it) Oh what a bad operation Watch how the law suits roll in (or something like that I loved MAD magazine (and still do in small doses) but I think I just got tired after about eight years |
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14 Nov 08 - 03:58 PM (#2494091) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,Pardette80 Anyone remember the show-tunes parodies? I remember one to the tune of "There's No Business Like Show Business," but all I can think of is the first line. Can anyone help? "There's no stories like Poe stories, like no stories I know..." |
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12 Dec 08 - 07:37 PM (#2513939) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,Peter I'm looking for "Junky Wheels," which is sung to the tune of "Jingle Bells." Starts off with the intro: "Cruzin down the street, In an over priced new car, Feeling kind of neat, It's doing great so far. Then the engin starts to knock, The paint is really rust," I don't remember the rest. |
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12 Dec 08 - 07:46 PM (#2513945) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,Peter OK. Here are two I remember (I think). (I think all three came from the same issue.) Wrinkle Wrinkle Movie Star (Twinkle Twinkle Little Star): Wrinkle wrinkle movie star, Fans don't see you who you are, On the screen you look so great, Making male hearts pitter-pate, But you're really sixty-one, Wearing make-up by the ton. Rock N Roll Baby (Rock-a-by Baby): Rock-n-roll baby, On the dance floor. Listen for hours, And still want some-more. When the band breaks, Before they all drop, Just turn on your radio, So you won't have to stop. |
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13 Dec 08 - 04:18 AM (#2514121) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: Haruo Somehow a parody of Mad Magazine seems just a bit like overkill. |
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15 Dec 08 - 12:34 AM (#2515464) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,Underdog There was one I had memorized back in the 60s, but I can only remember the first line. Anybody remember it? I remember, I remember, the house where I was born. The little bathroom down the hall where nineteen raced each morn. |
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27 Jan 09 - 08:39 PM (#2550636) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,hrobair Pox upon thee little man barefoot fink with cheek of tan The gang you squealed on has the urge to sing and strum your funeral dirge In the drink you should have went neatly cased in wet cement. Delinquancy can be a blight when (finks?) like you don't do it right. To look at you I hate to think that I was once a barefoot fink. I think that's it. |
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28 Jan 09 - 11:54 AM (#2551086) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: Roger in Baltimore Bat Goddess, Found this on the internet. It purports to be the complete version. Once upon a midnight cautious, while I pondered weak and nauseous, Over some advertising copy I had wrote for Macy's Store, While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a yapping, As of someone loudly yapping, yapping at my office door. "'Tis some client there," I muttered, "yapping at my office door - Only this and nothing more." Then I felt my terror worsen, for my guest was not a person! In there stepped a cocker spaniel; naturally I jumped in fear. Tried to climb an oaken panel, ripping there my new grey flannel; But the spaniel merely stood there, speaking out with voice so clear - Speaking out like Jack Lescoulie, in a voice both loud and clear - Quoth the spaniel- _"Drink Blatz Beer!"_ How I marveled this ungainly dog who did commercials plainly; How he spoke the message clearly; selling points he underscored. For I could not help agreeing that no living human being Ever yet could mouth a slogan without sounding slightly bored - Quoth the spaniel: _"Buy a Ford!"_ Thus this dog with voice like Murrow made my heavy brow unfurrow; Thoughts of fortunes I could make now made me shake down to my knees. But the spaniel set me grieving then by turning tail and leaving. Naturally, I begged him tarry, crying out, "Stay with me, please!" Quoth the spaniel, _"Eat Kraft Cheese!"_ Roger in Baltimore |
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28 Jan 09 - 11:57 AM (#2551090) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: Peace Picture me upon your knee, With tea for two and two for tea, Just me and you and you and me, alone. Nobody near us to see or to hear us, No friends or relations or weekend vacations Will have to know we have a telephone, dear. Day will break, you'll awake, Start to bake a little sugar cake, For me to take to all the boys to see. We will raise a family, A boy for you and a girl for me, Can't you see how happy we will be! from a Google of the first line. Lots of 'em on the 'net. |
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28 Jan 09 - 12:33 PM (#2551131) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,kiti "No friends or relations on weekend vacations We won't let it known , dear, that we own a telephone....dear." pop song from the '30's or 40's... Tea for Two Mad reader in the 50's... Me worry? Nah..... |
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29 Jan 09 - 01:37 AM (#2551661) Subject: RE: Mad Mag parodies " Blue Cross / Blue Skies ?? From: GUEST,rightonjohn Might anyone have the words to " Blue Cross " , done to the song Blue Skies ? We just saw a special on our public channel and it was great. It also went to court to the favor of Mad on making parodies . Thanks for any help . |
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29 Jan 09 - 05:19 AM (#2551763) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,.gargoyle Appropriate for this coming tax season - to the tune of "It Came Upon a Midnight Clear" circa approx 1963.
They come on April 15th dear
Tax men are never moved by tears
Robin - What great history. This explains the wonderful freedom we American folks enjoy ... some of parodies have rivaled the originals in popular success.
Regarding comic books, Seduction of the Innocent was one of the books exposing the scandleous drawings in pulp media. Its 1954 publication helped bring about legislation. Parade of Pleasure was another book. There is place for trading the comics seductionoftheinnocent.org We loved "It's a Gas" an early 1960's "paper vinyl magazine insert" with belching sounds.
Sincerely, |
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29 Jan 09 - 07:47 PM (#2552426) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: Donuel My blue heaven parodied in "My blue shelter" about a fallout shelter. Mad sells a dvd of all thier past issues. |
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30 Jan 09 - 06:06 PM (#2553267) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,StayatHomeDad BLUE CROSS A bad experience with a medical coverage program. Sung to the tune of: "Blue Skies" Blue Cross Had me agree To a new Blue Cross Policy! Blue Cross Said I would be Happy that Blue Cross Covered me! Then I took a fall, Leg in a splint; They said that I Should read the fine print! When a very high Fever I ran, They told me I Took out the wrong plan! That's Blue Cross! There seems to be Plenty for Blue Cross! None for me! |
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27 Mar 09 - 07:50 PM (#2598935) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,David Z "Sing Along with Mad" had a group of songs as sung by historical figures or at historical events. The one I remember best is to be sugn by Leonardo da Vinci, to the tune of "There's No Business Like Show Business": There's no genius But no genius Like my genius, you see Go to Venice, Naples, Rome or Pisa You will find nobody half as smart People really dig my Mona Lisa They think that she's a Great work of art There's no talent Like my talent The whole world will agree I've designed machines in which a man can fly I've charted planets up in the sky I can even add, subtract and multiply Oh gee! I'm glad I'm me! |
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31 Mar 09 - 10:35 AM (#2601277) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,guest underdog, i have some more lines (but not all): I remember, I remember the house where I was born The little bathroom down the hall where 19 raced each morn, My 13 brothers hated me, my sisters felt the same Mom never called my down to eat – she didn't know my name I remember, I remember the walls so pale and white Would turn a vivid bloody red when mom and dad would fight --jb |
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07 Apr 09 - 04:29 PM (#2606804) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,guest eric the one i remember is sung to were off to see the wizard were off to see the guru. that glorius guru og ours. the things hes got is better than pot and full of fantastic powers. if you want to spin like a u.f.o. the guru of ours will make it so we know we know we know we know we know now off in to the wild blue younder we go and thats all i remember |
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07 Apr 09 - 09:31 PM (#2607006) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: DebC I still can't believe I remember this one: Sung to the tune of "You're a Grand Ol' Flag" She's a mean old bag She's a nasty old bag And forever she's filled us with hate But we treat her sweet and kiss her feet And tell her we think she's great Let her curse at us We will not raise a fuss When she starts in to scream and nag For we are all counting on what we'll get From the will of that mean old bag Debra Cowan |
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18 Apr 09 - 07:09 PM (#2614106) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,REETAH From an early food parody: (To the tune of "Oh, What a Beatiful Morning") There's a bright golden glaze on the eggroll There's a bright golden glaze on the eggroll The hot egg foo yung really pleases the tongue The tea's in the pot and the waiter's named Chung Oh what a glorious dinner Oh what great moo goo gai pan We're having twenty-eight courses Thanks to the family plan They give it to the Sound of Music: Dough- means cash for all of us 'Ray- for musicals like this Me- a star, so big that by Far- it really couln't miss So- insipid is the plot La-did-da although we know Te-di-ous it is a lot It will bring us back much Dough, dough, dough, dough...... |
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01 May 09 - 01:13 AM (#2622387) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,Ding Dong Anyone remember the old school lunchroom song, (to the tune of Off we go, into the wild blue yonder") Off we go, into the lunchroom yonder, pushing boys out of the way. Forward girls! Start moving down the counter. Grab your grub, fill up your tray (clankety, clank, clank) Try the beans, they were prepared last Friday, and the meat's tough as a mule. The soup is cold. The bread's got mold, Yeccch! Anything beats the lunchroom at school. And there was another in the same series, about trying to call in sick to school: (to the tune of "As the Cassons go marching along" or whatever it's called) (sorry, don't remember the beginning... as the fake-out go coughing along Start to heave, fake a chill...anything so you'll look ill as the fake-outs go moping along. For it's high, high hoo Let's all fake the Asian flu Call out your symptoms loud and strong (hack, hack) For we'll feel enthused, when the teacher says "Excused" When the fake-out go coughing along. |
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29 May 09 - 01:23 AM (#2643362) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,Nanci Meek http://www.geocities.com/imokproductions/groundround.html Ground Round parody updated When you eat meat but hate the meat that you've eaten then you've surely got Gound Round It's so unnerving when they're constantly serving in an eating spot Ground Round It may be called a chopped steak, salisbury or beef patty No matter what it's called it's always overcooked and fatty What can you do? Sound off at your table there and proudly pound on the table Stand up on your chair and shout... Ground Round! Why did I have to eat Ground Round! Piled on my plate I see Ground Round! Why did I have to eat Ground Round....Ground Round..... When you eat meat and puke the meat that you've eaten then you've surely got ECOLI! It's so unnerving when the burger they're serving is a little pink ECOLI! You'll break into a sweat with diarhea kidneys failing They'll rush you to emergency and then you'll start your wailing What can you do? Sound off on your gurney there and loudly pound on the doctor stand up on a chair and shout Ground Round! Why did I have to eat Ground Round! Ecoli in the meat Ground Round! Why did I have to eat Ground Round! Ground Round! |
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02 Jun 09 - 11:38 PM (#2647093) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,james Here's how I remember one of "Oh What a Beautiful Morning." There's a bright golden cyst on his elbow. There's a bright golden cyst on his elbow. His throat is as weak as an old dried-up creek and I think that his kneecap is starting to leak. And the rest is lost to me. I never memorized it any farther than that. Long Live MAD |
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03 Jun 09 - 08:20 AM (#2647271) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: clueless don There was another parody of "Oh What a Beautiful Morning" in MAD's send-up of Oklahoma, titled 007 (Oh-Oh-Seven.) It set the James Bond world to the Oklahoma songs. I only really remember the last line of the chorus, which was something like "I have a jolly good feeling, I will kill someone today!" Or maybe it was "bloody good" instead of "jolly good". Don |
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03 Jun 09 - 09:44 AM (#2647332) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: kendall MAD was my favorite magazine when I was a teenager. |
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03 Jun 09 - 10:26 AM (#2647366) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: Tug the Cox Alfred E. Neumann. 'What, me Worry?' |
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04 Jun 09 - 06:44 AM (#2648031) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: Leadfingers As Haruo said earlier . A Parody of Mad Mag IS Scary !! |
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05 Jun 09 - 12:34 PM (#2649164) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,saferg I am trying to find the lyrics to "There's a rumble on the next street" It's sung to the tune of "On the sunny side of the street" I know most of the words but there's one line that escapes me. It goes: Grab your brass knuckles and bat, wear your new black leather jacket Your in for a treat There's a rumble on the next street. If anyone knows all of the lyrics, please post them. It's been driving me crazy for years. |
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24 Jun 09 - 10:01 AM (#2663450) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,RealOldFred Once upon a midnight cautious while I pondered weak and nauseous Over some advertising copy I had done for Woolworth's Store, While I nodded nearly napping suddenly there came a yapping As of someone loudling yapping, yapping at my office door. "'Tis some client there," I muttered, "yapping at my office door. Only this and nothing more." Then I felt my terror worsen for my guest was not a person In there stepped a cocker spaniel; naturally I jumped in fear, Tried to climb an oaken panel, ripping there my new grey flannel, But the Spaniel merely stood there speaking out with voice so clear, Speaking out like Jack Lescoulie in voice both loud and clear: Quoth the spaniel, "Drink Blatz Beer." I marvelled that this dog ungainly spoke commercials very plainly, How he spoke the message clearly, selling points he underscored, For I could not help agreeing that no living human being Ever yet could mouth a slogan without sounding slightly bored. Most announcers being human can't help sounding slightly bored. Quoth the spaniel, "Buy a Ford." Thus this dog with voice like Murrow, made my heavy brow unfurrow. Thoughts of fortunes I could make now made me shake down to my knees. But the spaniel set my grieving then by turning tail and leaving. Naturally I begged him tarry crying out, "Stay with me, please!" Chasing him right down the hallway crying out "Stay with me, please!" Quoth the spaniel, "Eat Kraft Cheese." Found in the 1961 School Magazine of the Maltese Royal Naval School, Tal-Handaq! Take a look! |
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19 Jul 09 - 08:09 PM (#2683593) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,Firebrand I remember some songs from the 60's. One was about the periodic table. (Do Ra Mi) Why do I remember these?!!! O - the sign for oxygen Ra - that's radium so rare Ti - is tin for making cans As - is arsenic so beware F - for florine that we drink N- for neon lights that glow S for sulfur what a stink Which brings us back to O |
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19 Jul 09 - 08:18 PM (#2683595) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: robomatic One of my favorite memories is when but a lad going through Soviet Customs with a Mad Magazine in an outside pocket of my shoulderbag. The picture was Alfred E Neumann done up in WWII bomber pilot duds- The issue had a take-off of "Catch 22". The powerful battle image got a lot of second takes from the Russians but I got through just fine. |
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22 Jul 09 - 04:55 PM (#2685501) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine song parodies From: GUEST,McMonty Those songs you remember can be found on the "Absolutely MAD" DVD available through Amazon. It is 50+ years of the magazine --every issue in PDF format. Issue #110 from the 1960's has "Songs Of Food." This has been so hard to locate and here, I guess, is why: From Wikipedia: Legal issues Mad Magazine provoked an early legal backlash against parody when in 1961 the magazine published a songbook in which various topical ditties such as "The Last Time I Saw Maris", "Albert Einstein," and "There's No Business Like No Business" were included (in poem format; with a parenthetical phrase after each title, stating "Sung to the tune of..."). Several music publishers joined in a suit taking the magazine to court. The matter was eventually decided by the U.S. Supreme Court, which declined to review the decision by a lower court dismissing the suit against Mad. |
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27 Jul 09 - 11:53 PM (#2688534) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,Summerdan West Side Story became East Side Story (Khrushchev): Tonight Nikita made an error, His wife's a holy terror, A case of dynamite. My favorites were "Carols For All Occasions". I still all the lyrics to three remember three. They began: They Come on April Fifteenth, Dear Deck the walls and fences; Golly, Isn't trick or treating jolly? I'm looking for that smart aleck Who sends all the comic valentines. I think there were more. |
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24 Aug 09 - 12:11 PM (#2707344) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,Corgihound I thought it was "I have one grunch but the eggplant over YONDER!" |
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29 Aug 09 - 02:41 AM (#2711352) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,(Dr.) John S. Sultzbaugh Of all the MAD Magazine song parodies I wish I had memorized (and I did soak up a few), one of the most perennially relevant is one I read briefly as a college freshman in 1968. Here's some quick background: I had been sentenced to an all-male Ivy-League wannabe thanks to its snob-appeal, although I hated the snobbery that abounded there. I had to convince my folks that I had a stake in my own future, and I spent three miserable semesters before peptic ulcers and Penn State rescued me. Now the grandest intimidator for keeping fellows there was the draft-fed war in Vietnam, which MAD addressed in a parody that shall apparently never become irrelevant. It was a take-off on one of the most beloved songs of the 1960's, "More," and was aptly labeled "War." I can recall its second line, "War helps to keep the population down;" and its transition: "War brings the USO's/And war brings the John Wayne shows/Yes, war brings us much enjoyment/It cuts down on unemployment!" I believe this issue in question was published at nearly the same time that MAD also parodied the musical "Camelot" with "Can A Lot;" perhaps they were in the same issue. Can anyone find the entire lyrics for "War?" Thanks! |
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29 Aug 09 - 03:35 AM (#2711362) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: Taconicus Ah, I still sing them. The following are totally from memory. From "If Consumer Products Had Their Own Theme Songs": To the tune of "On the Street Where You Live" (note: Raleigh cigarettes came with coupons you could save and exchange for prizes.) We have never had a stuffed moose before. For a stuffed moose we have never had a use before. Now we've forty three; Raleigh sent them free. We just love all the gifts that they give. People stop and stare at our landing strip. It took 50 million coupons to gain ownership. Raleigh sent it free with a warranty. We just love all the gifts that they give. And oh, just look at our ceiling; You can see a chimpanzee too. We love the glorious feeling That we're saving up to get him the Bronx Zoo. Every day we smoke forty packs or so And those coupons we are saving great stacks, you know. When our son turns four, we'll save even more. We just love all the gifts that they give! The following are from "If Professions Had Their Own Theme Songs": Dentists: [Someone already gave this one, above.] Barbers (to the tune of George M. Cohen's "Over There"): In his hair, in his hair, Sprinkle goo, spill shampoo, in his hair. Give that man a crew cut, or try a new cut. But make sure you cut off his hair. In your chair, in your chair, Give your views, while he stews in your chair. Keep on gabbin', complainin', crabbin', 'Cause he can't get up till you're finished with his hair! |
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05 Sep 09 - 09:06 AM (#2716701) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,sinenomine I was looking for Mad's fight songs (GM fight song, dentists' fight song, teamsters' fight song, etc.) and found them here. I'm pretty sure the last verse of the teamsters' fight song is wrong on this site. I think the last verse goes like this: So its hi hi hey, when we want a raise in pay We shout out our grievance loud and strong And when ere we like, we just call a strike And the country stops rolling along. |
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05 Sep 09 - 11:26 PM (#2717252) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: gatyamgal Haven't been here for a long time. Glad I found this thread. I used to love to sing Mad Magazine parodies when I was a kid. They were almost all we had before weird al. One I really liked and it is still relavent today is a song I call the weatherman song. I can't remember if that is the original name or not. Here are the lyrics Seventy six degrees is what we'll predict with one hundred and ten degrees by the shore To be followed by days and days Of an air pollution haze. That is what we weathermen adore We always play safe and say there's a chance of rain Or we say partly cloudy partly clear We use words like "maybe" "perhaps" and "possible" Just in case, the weather changes here We're predicting sunny weather on the coast of Spain Who'll know if it is so here in the U. S. In Pago Pago we can say there is a hurricane Who has changed her name to Bess Predicting weather is a rewarding job Whether we're right or wrong we still know Our jobs are quite safe and sound While there's weather still around Give three cheers for wind and sleet and snow. There is a karaoke website where I sang the song. Check this out. http://www.singsnap.com/snap/r/ae9d31ee |
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05 Sep 09 - 11:32 PM (#2717255) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: gatyamgal While I am on this thread. I am looking for the lyrics to the tune of the caissons go rolling along. It was a song about playing the card game bridge. I recall some of the lyrics as being something about taking a trick and seeing your partner getting sick. And about bid a heart play a spade, .... a play that can't be made. My parents were hard core bridge players. They would complain about people that didn't know how to play their cards right. If anyone recalls this parody, please share it. |
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12 Sep 09 - 06:19 PM (#2722569) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,wandrews Don't number your juvenile poultry before the proper process of incubation has been materialized! |
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01 Oct 09 - 10:03 PM (#2736333) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,bytaman Does anyone remember a parody of the Beatles "Do You Wanna Know A Secret? It was called, "Do You Wanna Eat A Bagel". I am only assuming it came from MAD magazine because a couple of older boys down the street where I grew up in Brooklyn were big MAD magazine fans and used to play "Do You Wanna Eat A Bagel" on their guitars. Thanks! |
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07 Oct 09 - 04:52 PM (#2740713) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,MrChris just encountered this website. Haven't looked through all the previous posts, so this might be duplicative. But like other posters, it's amazing how many of the Mad parody songs I remember by heart. Here's one: (to the tune of "I'm Looking over a Four-Leaf Clover" - about Christopher Columbus) I had a notion to cross the ocean That never'd been crossed before I thought for certain that Asia I'd reach Now something tells me I've hit the wrong beach. No pearls are sold here, there ain't no gold here Just rain and disease galore. How did I do it? I really blew it! When I hit the New World shore. |
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12 Oct 09 - 11:34 AM (#2744171) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,Jack o' Spades Glad to see I'm not the only retro-minded Mad Mag lover... I crack up on the days that I wake up with one of the old 70s or 80s parodies in my head. The "Oh Susanna" parody that I mostly remember went something like this; Well, I come from California with a bandaid on my knee Cause I rumbled with Hell's Angels and they nearly crippled me Well I tried to meet the leader's chick he didn't take it kind The acid bath he gave me man, it left me nearly blind Holy Hannah! He pushed me 'neath a train Now my skull is in some canyon And they're mailing me my brain! There are so many to remember. Has the magazine ever put out a book of their old parodies? |
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02 Nov 09 - 06:36 PM (#2758297) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,anon Pox upon thee little fellow, creep and fink with stripe of yellow. The gang you squealed on has the urge to strum and sing your funeral dirge. Into the drink you should have went, neatly cased in wet cement. Delinquency can be a blight when guys like you don't do it right. Seeing you I hate to think that I was once a lousy fink. |
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11 Nov 09 - 08:48 PM (#2764504) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,Guest, SF (Sung to the tune of Oh Little Town of Bethlehem) Oh little town of Washington How still we see thee sleep Thy Senate's bare no one is there And Nixon's in Palm Beach Though congressmen forsake thee We know why they're not here Thy filth and slime and slums and crime Might mar their Christmas cheer With shotguns and police dogs we guard our homes and stores Alive we'll stay this Christmas day If we don't go outdoors! |
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11 Nov 09 - 11:08 PM (#2764543) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: Homeless This song taught me the evils of plagerism. A dedicated reader of MAD in high school, one day I walked into English class and a friend asked if I done my homework. When I said we didn't have homework, he responded that we were supposed to have written a song parody. In a panic, I sat down and started scribbling the first two thirds of this, which I'd read earlier in the week, since not turning in anything was worse that copying. After grading all our papers, the teacher was so impressed with my paper that she wanted me to read it aloud, in front of the whole class. You never saw a more paniced high school junior in your life. I was terrified that someone else read MAD and would announce my transgression. It was enough horror to last a lifetime - I haven't plagerized since. (and the song is burned into my memory, after 20+ years) Mine eyes have seen the glory of an army that's co-ed of a navy where the captain has to subdivide the head of an air force where they issue flowered sheets for every bed The times are changing now Glory, glory basic training never was more entertaining there's more action, who's complaining? The times are changing now. They are wearing battle outfits that are full of fancy frills they're a credit to the union and we call 'em G.I. Jills if George Patton were alive today he'd take off for the hills The times are changing now Glory, glory foes they'll shake up armed attacks they're sure to break up then they'll freshen up their make up The times are changing now They are trained to shoot a rifle and they show no signs of fright they're as strong as any man and never run from any fight that's unless one gets a headache and she tells you, "not tonight" The times are changing now Glory, glory tell her mister if she struggles when you've kissed her no one likes a draft resister the times are changing now. |
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12 Nov 09 - 09:26 AM (#2764733) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,old fart the only thing I remember about the bridge parody is: Bid a heart, bid a spade, bid a game that can't be made, as the bridge team goes rolling along. And then later... Shout out 3 No Trump load and strong!!! |
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12 Nov 09 - 09:29 AM (#2764736) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,Me One more... This is to the tune of The Marine's Hymn. Think "From the Halls of Montezuma..." From the slums of Baltic Avenue, to the Boardwalk and Park Place. We will buy up all the properties, build hotels in every space. ...don't remember... and then finishes with: But we can not even start the game until somebody finds the dice! |
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18 Nov 09 - 08:03 AM (#2768331) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST It's A Grand Old Flag It's a grand old flag, it's a good plastic bag and we get it on all of our clothes. A guy can play the live-long day and have it wherever he goes. It is lots more fun than a doll or a gun, you can wave them around like flags. But should old acquaintance be forgot, keep your head out of plastic bags! This is the way I remember this wonderful parody. I can never remember the real lyrics, as the above successfully replaced the real lyrics in my memory bank. :) |
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18 Nov 09 - 08:43 AM (#2768349) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: mrmoe .....and who will forget, "she got a nose job"....I have a digitized copy of the album with that song - "Mad Twists Rock & Roll" - if anyone wants it |
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18 Nov 09 - 08:58 AM (#2768364) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: clueless don I believe I have the original record - I think it came stapled within one of the magazine issues. Don |
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18 Nov 09 - 12:02 PM (#2768476) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,Cuilionn (the lang-lost) The Legend of the Ad-Men (Mad Mag parody of Jabberwocky) Twas Brillo, and the G.E. stoves did Proctor-Gamble in the Glade. All Pillsbury were the Tastee loaves And in a Minute Maid. "Beware the Station Break, my son, The voice that lulls, the ads that vex, Beware the Doctor's Claim and shun That horror called Brand-X!" He took his Q-Tip swab in hand, Long time the Tension Headache fought, So Dristan he by a Mercury, And Bayer break'd in thought. And as in Bufferin Gulf he stood, The Station Break, with Rise of Tame, Came Whisking through the Pride-hazed wood, And Cream-Rinsed as it came! "Buy one, buy two, we're almost through!" The Q-Tip Dash went Spic-and-Span, He Tide Airwick, and with Bisquick, Went Aero-Waxing Ban. "And hast thou Dreft the Station Break? Ajax the Breck, Excedrin boy, Oh Fab wash day! Cashmere Bouquet!" He Handi-wrapped with Joy. Twas Brillo and G.E. Stoves Did Proctor-Gamble in the Glade All Pillsbury were the Tastee Loaves And in a Minute Maid. |
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12 Dec 09 - 11:09 AM (#2786897) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,CampBarlow Sung to the tune "It Came Upon A Midnight Clear" in the same issue that "O Little Town Of Washington" was published back in the early 70s. The plane we boarded last evening dear to start on our holiday spree, we read three books and enjoyed our meal and saw a movie for free. We pulled our seats back and slept 'till dawn and chatted together past noon. It's been a pleasure and now let's hope that we'll be taking off soon! |
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12 Dec 09 - 11:16 AM (#2786900) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,CampBarlow Sung to the tune "Silver Bells". Same issue as previous post. How I memorized these from 1973 is beyond me. Drivers weaving, signs unheading down the highway they race. You can tell it's the season of Christmas. Wildly weaving, sometimes heaving with the cops giving chase, and with each fatal crack-up you'll hear... Count the toll count the toll It's Christmas time on the highway... |
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13 Dec 09 - 12:45 AM (#2787254) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: RangerSteve Guest - thanks for that Jabberwocky parody. My friend and I memorized that when it came out originally (1966 or 67), but I eventually forgot a lot of it. It's one of my favorites. |
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24 Dec 09 - 12:46 AM (#2795406) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST How about the parody of "West Side Story" called "East Side Story"? Two gangs, one led by Kennedy, the other by Nikita Khrushchev. "When you're a Red", sung by Krushchev: When you're a Red you're a Red all the way From your first Party purge to your last power play! .... You're always a friend Of every brand-new nation The spies that you send Inflame the population That's infiltration! |
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27 Dec 09 - 01:47 AM (#2797048) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,R Harris I enjoyed reading through these posts. I remember one song: Charley, Charley, bicycle built for two On my Harley, down Central Avenue We'll tear up the town till sundown Old ladies we will rundown And we won't stop for no darn cop On a Harley thats built for two. I remember the ending of "War" (sung to More) War, brings us soldiers that are strong and good War, brings us John Wayne films from Hollywood War, brings our TV newscasts more Scenes of blood and death and gore That's what living color's for. |
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31 Dec 09 - 01:06 PM (#2800164) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,Bob in Toronto I've been trying to find the parodies of college fight songs MAD did in the late 60's or early 70's. The only one I remember partially is the Notre Dame one "Stomp on their backbones, break all their bones". Other songs included similar lyrics. Anyone know where to find them? HAppy New Year! |
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01 Jan 10 - 02:24 AM (#2800624) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: beeliner '"Potrzebie" is alleged to be Polish for "I had one grunch but the eggplant over there."' Any Polish speakers here know the actual translation? I read somewhere that Al Feldstein saw the word on a billboard in Poland and just thought it was a funny-looking word. I think that it may mean 'You need', as an advertisement might say, 'You need [our product]', but I'm not sure. Back in the late 1950's, MAD had 'celebrity guest writers' in nearly every issue, which were usually visualizations of well-known comedy routines, such as Danny Kaye's "I'm Five", Orson Bean's "Two Chinese Guys Who Go to an American Restaurant", and Wally Cox's "My Friend Dufo (What a Crazy Guy)". But Ernie Kovacs did some original material for the magazine. |
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03 Jan 10 - 01:03 PM (#2802248) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST was cats, chicks and hipsters dig me and dig me good...... |
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04 Jan 10 - 11:35 AM (#2803031) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: clueless don On 31 Dec 09 - 01:06 PM GUEST,Bob in Toronto asked about parodies of college fight songs. I'm not sure this is the one you are remembering, but I remember a bit of a parody of the Notre Dame fight song, something like: Pray, pray for old Pivnick Tech! We're going to get it right in the neck! send [???] of taps on high ... or something like that. Don |
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13 Jan 10 - 02:16 PM (#2811106) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,Blind Mike Anybody know the rest of this one to the tune of "If I Only Had A Brain" ? At conventions by the hour I squirt my water flower just like a legionair. (forgot this line) 'Cause there just ain't no denyin' that I'm nothing but a square. |
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14 Jan 10 - 01:33 AM (#2811545) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: mousethief I remember a send-up of Star Trek set to tunes from Hair. Aquarius: And you can do it with a crew that's dispensible! Crew that's dispensible! Dispensible! Minor characters we bring on Perish when they meet a Klingon ... (that's all I can remember now) I also remember a spoof of 2001 called 201: A Space Idiocy. I don't remember any songs from that, or if it did have songs. I too have the LP "Mad Twists Rock 'n' Roll" -- it's keen, man. Although none of the songs are exactly parodies of any single song, they definitely send up various rock-n-roll song types of the day including the "my boyfriend died" genre and the "the little girl has grown up and is sexy now" genre, as well as a bona fide (and not too shabby) Elvis send-up. If that comes out on CD, definitely grab it. |
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14 Jan 10 - 04:38 PM (#2812045) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,China I remember part of one from way back...sung to the tune of Try to Remember. Alfred E. Neuman with brain of albumin Will win just like Truman did from Missouri Back him and then we can say once again What me worry, worry, worry... And part of another one sung to the tune of the Air Force song. It was about dentists. We dislike cavaties left untreated Teeth look bad full of decay When we're in doubt - we pull them out Oh, nothing can stop a dentist today! A Christmas song, sung to the tune of Good King Wi....can't spell it: Ooooohhhhh, Oh Cards from Linda, cards from Sue Cards with 10 cents postage due Ever sending, never ending Cards you'd like to tear into! |
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22 Feb 10 - 05:57 PM (#2847082) Subject: RE: "Potrzebie" From: GUEST,Keith "Potrzebie" is Polish for "necessary." "The necessary" is slang in English for "money." |
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22 Feb 10 - 07:05 PM (#2847137) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: Allen in Oz I know it was not a parody but " Rewriting Your Way to a PhD" in MAD magazine was priceless AD |
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20 Mar 10 - 12:03 AM (#2867976) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,The Old Galoot Wow, it seems I remember a number of songs; I just sang one to my partner: Sung to the tune of Anchors Aweigh Our kid's away, Thank God! Our kid's awa-a-a-y We sent him off to camp At fifty bucks a da-ay Though it's a lot to pay We'll make no fuss, If we complain Then they might Send him back, Send him back, To us! |
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20 Mar 10 - 12:06 AM (#2867977) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,The Old Galoot Guest, China wrote on Jan 14 2010 about the campaign song for Alfred E. Neuman. It started out Try to remember This coming November To vote for Neuman, Vote for Neuman, Then the part that Guest had: Alfred E. Neuman with brain of albumin Will win just like Truman did from Missouri Back him and then we can say once again What me worry, worry, worry... There were other verses, I think. But that reminds me of a couple more campaign songs. |
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20 Mar 10 - 12:15 AM (#2867979) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies -- campaign songs From: The Old Galoot Rockefeller campaign song, sung to the Marines Hymn (Halls of Montezuma) From the vaults of Chase Manhattan Bank To his zillion shares of stocks We will work for Rockefeller, boys Cause he's richer than Fort Knox True, he makes a lousy candidate But we never should forget, He's the only one that has the cash To pay off the U.S. debt! Agnew song, sung to Notre Dame fight song Cheer, cheer, for Spiro today He will unite the whole USA Polacks, guineas, japs and greeks, Impudent snobs and left-wing freaks Though the slums be great or be small When you've seen one slum, you've seen them all, When he loses, he can star in All In The Family! Wallace campaign song: dang, having trouble with this one, the last line was "He'll keep the White House white!" |
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20 Mar 10 - 12:23 AM (#2867980) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: The Old Galoot Song about ancient Rome, sung to Home on the Range Oh Rome [can't remember three syllables] With your wild Coluseum And your traffic-jammed Appian Way Where pizza is best Though it's hard to digest And Caesar's the King we obey! Rome, Rome your so fine With your crazy SPQR sign! Where the orgies go on From each night until dawn And each Christian is fed to a lion! |
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20 Mar 10 - 08:35 PM (#2868372) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST It started: Oh Rome is our dream Loved those Mad song parodies when I was a kid. |
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31 Mar 10 - 05:25 PM (#2876839) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,Osman This one I remember: Don't be disheartened if, The Hardships are great, and the rewards but few. Remember that the mighty oak, Was once a nut like you. There was another which went something like this: Do you remember the tree, Where we once carved our names, like hearts entwined, Never to be forgotten till the end of time. Well, guess what? The tree died. |
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13 Apr 10 - 08:48 AM (#2885508) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,Chief_Ed At a Howard Johnson's, eating, You will find me there repeating, Those jokes no one can bear. I'm a sure fire sensation, With my Bert Parks imitation, Cause I'm nothing but a square! At conventions by the hour I will squirt my water flower just like a legionair. 'Cause there just ain't no denyin' that I'm nothing but a square. |
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13 Apr 10 - 04:20 PM (#2885792) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: mousethief Keith: "Potrzebie" is Polish for "necessary." "The necessary" is slang in English for "money." Where I come from, "the necessary" is slang for the toilet. "I have to use the necessary" doesn't mean I have to use money. It means I gotta take a crap. |
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15 May 10 - 09:09 PM (#2907810) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,Feezite Sung to the tune of "My Bonnie" A porpoise will flap with his flippers, A monkey's both clever and shrewd, A spaniel will bring you your slippers, A cat only comes when there's food! (refrain) Yech, cats, yech, cats, Don't try to bring to bring one to me, to me, Yech, cats, Yech, cats, Don't try to bring one to me! and... To the tune of "Deck the Halls" Boom the cherry bombs explode, Blowing potholes in the road, Tiny bits of dynamite, Sure can give a guy a fright, One went off by Irving's mama, Poor thing almost had a trauma, Blast, these simple minded jerks, We turn loose with fireworks, Boom the cherry bombs explode, Blowing potholes in the road. Can't believe I still remember this much after forty years... |
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10 Jun 10 - 07:26 PM (#2925069) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,beckaroonie Ok...Here is another Mad Magazine Song Parody for Ya~~~ Sung to the Tune of: "STRANGERS IN THE NIGHT" Watchdog in the night, I never chained you , Watchdog in the night, I'd always trained you, to protect my house, until the night was thruuuuuuuu. Then those burglers came, you didn't mind it, they were after loot, you helped them find it, diamond rings and furs, you quickly led them tooooooooooo. Watchdog in the night, A stupid beagle you were - Watchdog in the night, But later on when I returned to my poor home - how your jaws did foam...... You became a snapping dog, A fearless crazy yapping dog..... Whenever Im in sight I don't remember.....lalalalala I don't remember lalalalala My watchdog in. the. nightttttttttt. ### I remember a few more songs, bits and pieces, will post later =) |
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10 Jun 10 - 07:41 PM (#2925076) Subject: Lyr Add: Mad Song Parody: Girl From Ipanema From: GUEST,beckaroonie Another Mad Magazine Song Parody (half remembered) Sung to the Tune of "The Girl From Ipanema" Short and Fat and Bald and Ugly - the Guy from NYC goes walking - and as he passes the lovely lasses say "ooohhhhh" Strings of Pearls, and Diamond Bracelets, And coats of mink are what he gives them That's why when he passes Those lovely lasses say, "oooooohhhhh" True, he is dumpy and ugly, Still, they do not seem to mind it; They love the smell of his money, and each day that he walks down the street (I don't re-mem-ber de de deeeeee) (something like that....) |
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10 Jun 10 - 07:58 PM (#2925083) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,beckaroonie Yet ANOTHER Mad Magazine Song Parody Sung to the Tune of : MOON RIVER Chopped li-ver, Onions on the side; My social life has died.....from youuuuuuu; My friends shun me, they out-run me, the smell of my breath~ is slow death~ sad but truuuuuuue; Your Odor's Twice- as bad as Beer; And People who drink Beer Agreeeeeeeeee..... I know that your smell will not end..... My halitosis friend..... Chopped Liverrrrr Innnnn Meeeeeeeeeeeee. |
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11 Jun 10 - 09:33 AM (#2925388) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: clueless don GUEST,Feezite, about the parody you posted on 15 May 10 - 09:09 PM, the one that starts "Boom the cherry bombs explode, Blowing potholes in the road". You say "To the tune of 'Deck the Halls'", but it scans like it was actually to the tune of "Hark, the Herald Angels Sing." Don |
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26 Jun 10 - 02:44 AM (#2934995) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,wright1 Here's what I remember of "When You're A Red". Hoping there's someone else who can fill in more... When you're a Red, you're a Red all the way! From your first Party coup to your last power play! When you're a Red, you've got agents galore! You give prizes for peace, while they stir up a war! You set off a test, and when you're halfway through it, you point at the West, and say, they drove you to it! That's how you do it! When you're a Red, you will sign a peace pact, that will fool everyone, 'till your troops have attacked! |
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11 Aug 10 - 08:53 PM (#2963320) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,sciencechicky another ad one... to tune of "On Wisconsin" Push rice crispies, push rice crispies, snap, crackle and pop! And while you're at it, Push our corn flakes, finest of the crop. Yum yum yum. Say that each is Great with peaches, fresh or from the can. And while you're pushing, Don't forget All-Bran. |
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20 Aug 10 - 12:54 PM (#2969483) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,sdw Does anyone remember this one (sung to the tune of "Bali Hai")? I can only remember the first 8 lines. Alcatraz is waiting On that rock in the bay Once you're there, there's no escaping You will stay, you will stay. Alcatraz is calling Hear it call through the gloom "You don't need a reservation, We've got room, we've got room" |
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03 Oct 10 - 09:25 AM (#2998653) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,showtunefolkie I'm trying to find the words to: "I have often walked my Pierre outside..." and ends with "...now he sits upon his own private john that I built for the dog that I love". This was an ode to a poodle owner. Where can I find these? In the meantime, my own 'tween memory recalls: "The thing that I bury will have to be A real Transylvanian monstrosity The thing for which I crave Will have two blood-shot eyes staring up from that grave..." and "There's no monsters like Pro Monsters There's no monsters we know..." Manny Get Your Ghoul and Frank Jacobs made me fall in love with parodies and sending up musical comedies. Thanks, man! |
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01 Nov 10 - 02:18 PM (#3020923) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,LHC I remember that one, except for a few words I've left as blanks: "I have often walked my Pierre outside, But I never liked him in the dirty air outside. Now he sits upon His own private john, That I built for the dog that I love. See the ____________that I made for him! See the powder blue pajamas I crocheted for him! And should he feel ill, Here's the Contac pill That I'll give to the dog that I love. But oh! he sometimes annoys me, When he does, I'm firm as can be, Although it nearly destroys me To have to tell him he can't watch his own TV. If I _____________________ I'll get maids for him. And if he should lose his hair, I'll get toupees for him And when I drop dead When my will is read All will go to the dog that I love." And a bonus to complete your "Pro Monsters" "These new monsters ain't true monsters They've got nothing to show. If you want to make a girl feel petrified, To make her scream, and her eyes grow wide, Tell her that next week she'll be the Wolfman's bride, Why-ho, Monsters, let's go! |
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01 Nov 10 - 02:23 PM (#3020931) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,LHC For Beckaroonie-- "Whenever I'm in sight It's so upsetting: Every time you bite It's me you're getting. Now you're full of fight, My watchdog in the night." |
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01 Nov 10 - 02:28 PM (#3020939) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,LHC For BOB--the Notre Dame fight song: "Cheer, cheer the black and the blue! You're gonna win 'cause we are for you! Push their faces in the mud! Punch out their teeth and draw their blood! Stomp on their stomachs, break all their bones! We wanna hear their screams and their moans! If you follow our advice, You'll win a clean victory." |
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03 Nov 10 - 05:37 PM (#3022872) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST You're a fat of bag You're an unsightly hag But, you're still my true love Emmy Lou You're the image of the flag I love, Your complextion is red, white and blue Overweight and big in your ill fitting wig But, should old aquantence be forgot I'll escape from that fat old hag! (Sung to you're a grand old flag) |
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10 Nov 10 - 07:00 PM (#3028807) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST I seem to remember a part of "Nothing but a Square" All my ties say kiss me honey I bought them with good money While seeing the world's fair With the pure understanding LALALALALALALA???? That I'm nothing but a square. |
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10 Nov 10 - 07:50 PM (#3028843) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,Seonaid Nice trip down Memory Lane -- How I loved the Mad "Comic Opera" and other spoofs back in the 60s! My mother was a teacher of English Literature then. Her stock with the students went up 200% one day. She arrived in class with Mad magazines and read several parodies -- spoofs of Longfellow, Whitman, even Chaucer! -- and proceeded to discuss why they were so funny. (The assigned homework that night was an original parody.) I'm still writing parodies, possibly inspired by Mad's examples. Great fun! |
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11 Nov 10 - 03:52 PM (#3029692) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST I remeber one performed at my college in the early 1970's about the NY Jets: When you're a Jet, you're a Jet all the way From your first day at camp 'til they trade you away. Can't remember the rest |
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11 Nov 10 - 05:05 PM (#3029736) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: BrooklynJay Boy, this thread brings back a lot of memories! Somewhere in one of my closets I have a big box of Mad magazines I haven't looked at in nearly forty years... Those parodies really do stick in your mind! And, as I remember, most of the classic ones were written by the great Frank Jacobs. Here's one, to the tune of "My Bonny Lies Over the Ocean": My body has Calamine Lotion My body's as sore as can be The flowers I picked for my granny Turned out to be poison ivy! Don't touch, Don't touch, Don't touch poison ivy, ivy! It will Itch bad And, it's worse than acne! |
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13 Nov 10 - 06:30 PM (#3031370) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST Carolynn: Here's one from way back in the 60's; Sung to The Jets' Song. When you use Crest You are fighting decay From your first baby tooth To that last gold inlay When you use Crest In your home dental plan All your teeth stay in shape Cause it's got flurostan It passed ev'ry test In Maine and Indiana It outcleaned the rest In Georgia and Montana IT BEAT IPANA! We all tried Crest While the others did not Now we've got 20% less Tooth decay than they've got When you use Crest, you use the Beeeeeeeest! |
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13 Nov 10 - 06:35 PM (#3031375) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,Carolynn Another from the 60s, from the same set of songs as the Crest song I ache again I shake again My head feels like it's sure to Break again Distressed, dismal and dispondant Am I No glee again In me again My head feels just like World War 3 again Distressed, dismal and despondent Am I Tho my skull's Fairly oozing Still this pain Cannot last; There's one thing That I'm using, And it works FAST, FAST, FAST! I cheer again It's clear again That Anacin saved My career again Distressed dismal and dispondent No more! |
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14 Nov 10 - 12:59 AM (#3031566) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: BrooklynJay I remember MAD also did another parody of "Bewitched, Bothered and Bewlidered" in the '60s with fairly similar lyrics; but that one was called "Distressed, Dreary and Dyspeptic." Can't remember all the words at the moment... |
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14 Nov 10 - 11:02 AM (#3031846) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,carol Does anyone remember the lyrics to the tropical fish song, sung to the tune of "My Favorite Things'? |
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14 Nov 10 - 11:32 AM (#3031874) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies: tropical fish song From: GUEST,carol The tropical fish song had lyrics something like this, sung to the tune of 'My Favorite Things', but i don't know most of the words. Can anyone help?... Bright colored (guppies?) and (black shiny mollies?)... (something something) that swim with a splish, These are just some of my tropical fish. Then I bought (mantas?) that sting in the water Deadly (?) that itch for a slaughter (?) that bite with a Squish! Now I have many less tropical fish If you think that Fish are peaceful That's an empty wish. Just put them together and leave them alone, and then you will have... Less fish! |
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02 Dec 10 - 11:42 PM (#3045364) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,greenyanks Here are a few that I remember: To the song "Georgie Girl" Hey there, charge account Going on another shopping spree Lucky thing for me the store can't see My bank account's bare I'm dead broke Hey there charge account Buying lots of fancy clothes for free I've been broke since 63 But what the heck I don't care But see that salesgirl checking my files And wrecking my day She just discovered that I don't pay She's telling me Goodbye charge account Now I have to look like some poor schnook Taking back the clothes I took I don't have a thing to wear I've been stripped bare Of my charge account I will post others................. |
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02 Dec 10 - 11:59 PM (#3045370) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,Greenyanks Here's one from East Coast Story: There are three verses in which three politicians are trying to get sit-in demonstrators to move. I know the last two politicians are Ronald Reagan as then Governor of California and President Nixon. The tune is "Officer Krupke" and here is the Reagan verse: Dear kindly Ronald Reagan Forgive us if we're frank We saw you on the late show Like man, you really stank You lost one for the gipper You bombed in Brother Rat Sacra-mento Now look where you're at' Dear Governor Reagan We just gotta say Perhaps your worst performance Is your one here today We'd like to oblige you But one thing is clear You've laid an egg So we'll stay here We'll stay here We'll stay here We'll stay here, here, here We're sincere When we say we'll stay here!! I just remembered the third "politican" - it was J. Edgar Hoover and remember the second part of the verse: Dear J. Edgar Hoover We won't go to jail We've got a real smart lawyer who will free us on bail Before we're convicted And tossed in a cell We'll heist a plane And join Fidel! Join Fidel, join Fidel, we will join Fidel What the hell We'll split and join Fidel!! |
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03 Dec 10 - 07:46 AM (#3045483) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: Muttley 2 that I recall To the tune of "Halls of Montezuma" (The U.S. Marine Corps Hymn) It was a series of parody songs about that year's Presidential Race From the vaults of Chase Manhattan Bank To his zillion shares of stocks we will vote for Rockefeller Boys 'Cause he's richer than Fort Knox True he'll make a lousy candidate But we never can forget He's the only one that's got the bucks (or was it cash) To pay off the U.S, Debt To the tune of "Anchors Aweigh" - parody songs about games and sports Bishops away my lads, Bishops away Move up your Knights and Pawns and Keep your Queen in play-ay-ay-ay Caslte your King my lad Don't hesitate Oops, I guess I told you wrong He's got you there, he's got you there: Checkmate |
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06 Dec 10 - 09:02 PM (#3047843) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST watchdog in the night - a stupid beagle you were watchdog in the night and later on when i returned to my poor home how your jaws did foam you became a snapping dog a crazy fearless yapping dog THERE IS MORE TO THIS THAT I DON'T REMEMBER!! :) |
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09 Dec 10 - 11:54 AM (#3049719) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,punsterdo Good King Wenceslas looked out on the something season saw five million lacking food asked what was the reason Do not worry, he was told if there's some starvation It's our way of keeping down overpopula-a-tion! |
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11 Dec 10 - 03:39 PM (#3051159) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,Capn Kodak There is a stanza in it that ends... Quoth the spaniel, "Buy a Ford" It seems that he had done something... "without a word" then the "buy a Ford" line followed. Haven't read it in over 40 years. |
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18 Dec 10 - 10:20 PM (#3056856) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,iiaammii As your ship goes through the Galaxy To distant worlds, way past mars Be sure, that your adventures do... not kill off your stars! And you can do it with a crew that's dispensible A crew that's dispensible...le Dispensible Dis pen si ble Minor actors that we bringon Perish when they meet a Klingon One time actors not seen later Vanish in a planet's crater Those of us who try to aid them fail because the script has made them Dispensible le le Dis pen si ble! I have remembered that for 35 years! As well as: (Sound of Silence) I'm a doctor out in space and like I really groove this place because of all the rare diseases not like you silly coughs and sneezes |
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19 Dec 10 - 11:04 PM (#3057595) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,guest "Sic transit gloria mundi." Gloria got sick on the bus Monday. |
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20 Dec 10 - 08:20 AM (#3057745) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: clueless don GUEST,iiaammii, In your 18 Dec 10 - 10:20 PM message, with the Star Trek parody, to what tune was the song to be sung? I'm open to cries of "How can you not know that???", but I genuinely don't know. Don |
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24 Jan 11 - 03:25 AM (#3081213) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,Scot The "My Fair Ad-Man" spoof had a version of "With a Little Bit o' Luck": You've never had a clean shave or a haircut A bigger bum I hope I never see Your taste is sad in choosing what you wear, but With a little bit of soap, With a little bit of soap, You'll be looking just like him and me. (CHORUS) With a little bit, with a little bit, With a little bit of soap you’ll look like we. You've got real charcoal staining your grey flannel I thought those shoes were for a tennis game If you were on TV, I'd change the channel, but With a little bit of soap, With a little bit of soap, You and Cary Grant will look the same. (CHORUS) With a little bit, with a little bit, With a little bit of soap you'll look the same With a little bit, with a little bit, With a little bit of Lifebuoy soap! A piece on "Up-to-Date Service Songs" had this take on "Anchors Aweigh": Our taste's absurd, my boys Our taste's absurd With girls, our eyesight's blurred We date pigs by the herd-herd-herd-herd When on that briny deep From June 'til May Practic'ly any creep Looks like the girl who married JFK! The entire "Chinese Restaurant Song" went thus: There's a bright golden glaze on the eggroll There's a bright golden glaze on the eggroll The hot egg foo yung really tickles the tongue The tea's in the pot and the waiter's named Chung Oh, what a glorious dinner Oh, what great Moo Goo Gai Pan We're having twenty-eight courses Thanks to the family plan. All the noodles are covered with soy sauce, All the noodles are covered with soy sauce. We're feeling no pain 'Cause our plates all contain A big heaping portion of Sub Gum Chow Mein. Oh, what a glorious dinner We'll fill our bellies and then One hour after we've eaten We'll all be hungry again, We'll all be hungry again. They also did a Wine Lovers' Song to the tune of "Hello Young Lovers." Does anyone have the words to it? |
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12 Feb 11 - 05:28 PM (#3094034) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,sapphire anyone know the lyrics to the michael jackson parody of twitter? new issue. |
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13 Feb 11 - 11:06 AM (#3094366) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: Taconicus Michael Jackson's new parody? What, is he writing from beyond the grave? |
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20 Mar 11 - 11:44 AM (#3117558) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,Michael A MAD parody I memorised (50 yrs back): I remember, I remember The house where I was born, The little bathroom down the passage Where 19 fought each dawn; My 13 brother hated me My sisters thought the same Ma never called me in to eat - She didn't know my name. I remember, I remember The joys my schooling gave; How I was late for infant class Because I had to shave. I think that I shall ne'er forget A little girl named Sue; I carried home her books from school: Her boyfriend told me to. Does anyone remember MAD's parody of Hiawatha making mittens???? |
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23 Mar 11 - 04:53 PM (#3120021) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,Racking My Brain... ...for the rest of the lyrics to this: "We've got tommy guns that fire Thirty bullets at a clip We've got automatic rifles and A shotgun that's a pip...." I forget the rest... It was called "There is Nothing Like a Frame" (Nothing in the world There is nothing you can name That is anything like a frame.) |
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24 Mar 11 - 03:58 PM (#3120617) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: JennyO Someone quoted part of "I wandered lonely as a clod" further up. Here's the whole of it - I think. I Wandered Lonely as a Clod I wandered lonely as a clod, Just picking up old rags and bottles, When onward on my way I plod, I saw a host of axolotls; Beside the lake, beneath the trees, A sight to make a man's blood freeze. Some had handles, some were plain; They came in blue, red, pink, and green. A few were orange in the main; The damndest sight I've ever seen. The females gave a sprightly glance; The male ones all wore knee-length pants. Now oft, when on the couch I lie, The doctor asks me what I see. They flash upon my inward eye And make me laugh in fiendish glee. I find my solace then in bottles, And I forget them axolotls. |
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27 Apr 11 - 01:30 PM (#3143501) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,mad man "Onward Pivnick" One of my favorites (from memory, some 50 years later; correctons welcome). This gentle fight song captures the essence of football and the heart's desire of every true fan. To the tune of "On Wisconsin!" Onward Pivnick, onward Pivnick, Forward to the fray! Suffocate them, decimate them, Grind them into clay!(Rah, rah, rah!) Send a roar up, Roll the score up, Grind them into mud! We'll clean the field up With their own blood! |
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27 Apr 11 - 02:21 PM (#3143545) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: clueless don GUEST,mad man, your quote of "Onward Pivnick" reminded me of another Mad song parody. It started out something like Pray, Pray for Old Pivnick Tech! We're going to get it right in the neck! Send(?) a ??? of taps on high ... That's all I remember just now. Don |
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27 Apr 11 - 04:42 PM (#3143626) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: Dave the Gnome Refresh |
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04 May 11 - 10:13 PM (#3148180) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine Political parodies: Rockerfeller From: GUEST,joey mac Don't some agree that the Rockerfeller Parody would suit a Donald Trump Campaign?. Sung to the tune of Marine Song: "From the shores of Montezuma" From the vaults of Chase Manhatten Bank to his lavish apartment blocks, You will vote for Donald Trump my friends because he's richer than fort Knox, Although he'll make a garish candidate, We never should forget, He's the only one who's got the brains to pay off the US debt. |
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13 Jun 11 - 04:44 PM (#3170088) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST Lyrics are as follows: Orange colored mollies and black colored guppies Shy little angels as gentle as puppies Swimming and diving with scarcely a swish These are a few of my tropical fish Then I bought Mantas that sting in the water Deadly piranhas that itch for a slaughter Savage male betas that bite with a squish Now I have many less tropical fish. If you think that Fish are peaceful That's an empty wish Just dump them together and leave them alone And soon you will have... No fish. |
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18 Jun 11 - 04:58 PM (#3172531) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST There's a bright golden cyst on his elbow. There's a bright golden cyst on his elbow. His throat is as weak as an old dried-up creek and I think that his kneecap is starting to leak. and I recall this part after that (it is almost 55 years): Oh what a beautiful scalpel Oh what a beautiful knife I've got a beautiful feeling I can save his poor life |
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28 Jun 11 - 08:02 PM (#3178019) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,Guest OK, here's one you won't understand unless you are old enough to remember when they actually had real food served on airplanes. Sung to the tune of "Tonight" In Flight, In Flight... They Serve Great Meals In Flight... The Sirloins Are So Tasty And Rare. In Flight, In Flight... I Try To Eat In Flight... But Somehow...I Just Can't...In The Air! In Flight, The Headwinds We Are Bucking... And Oh, I Am Up-Chucking... Oh, What A Sorry Sight. I'm White...With Fright... From Trying To Keep Down Every Bite... In Flight! |
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29 Jun 11 - 11:56 AM (#3178357) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,jeanne Okay, this is bizarre. Bob and I were just re-reading a Mad mag this morning on his favorite Star Wars topic, and now I see this thread. No song parodies in that issue, but several of the parodies already mentioned in this thread came from a single issue that had songs about food: Ground Round (Downtown), the Chinese Restaurant Song (Oh, What a Beautiful Morning), Chopped Liver (Moon River), and Hello, Wine Lovers (Hello, Young Lovers), the last of which I didn't memorize because I was fuzzy on the tune. It also had The Sundae With the Nuts on the Top (The Surry etc.) and probably a couple of others. Ev'ry day is really a fun day When I eat a big, gooey sundae When I eat a big, gooey sundae With the nuts on top (2nd verse, I forgot) (bridge, I can only remember the last line:) Which may be why I'm feeling icky Tho' my figure's taking a beating From this glob of glue that I'm eating When I'm through, you'll find me repeating 'Cause I just can't stop Eating all those gooey sundaes With the nuts on the top There's also another version of The Raven, called The Rating, and I only remember the final punch line: Quoth the Rating, Gary Moore. Surely the entire Mad run is archived somewhere! More, more. |
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05 Aug 11 - 08:32 PM (#3202387) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST It's that grand old smog It's that low lying smog You can tell by the smell and the pall Tho it burns the skies and stings the eyes It means there's employment for all For it comes you see from some great fac-to-ry Where there's never an idle cog... So let's all be grateful for what we've got And give thanks to that grand old smog |
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05 Aug 11 - 11:35 PM (#3202464) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: katlaughing Don't know if this was psoted, previously, but there's some neat history of MAD on their officiel site HERE. There are supposed to be archives, but I couldn't find any of the old, good stuff. There are a few cover scans at MADCOVERSITE.COM. When we finally dig out our storage shed, I'll probably scan the covers of the ones we have, ranging from the 60s through the 80s. May find some parodies, too. They are mostly beat up as I read them, then each of my kids read them as they were passed down. My kids all have great senses of humour, I might add.:-) |
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27 Aug 11 - 07:41 PM (#3213701) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,Tkredge I am trying to find the Mad Hiawatha " by the shores of gitchee-goomee by the stagnant green scum water, stood the campus of Nakomis rotten football school Nakomis....? |
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30 Aug 11 - 10:00 AM (#3215120) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,jump For it's high high hee We've got vulnerability Shout out "3 no-trump" loud and strong Down Four! Oh we will set the pace As we trump our partner's ace As the bridge team goes rolling along |
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30 Aug 11 - 05:25 PM (#3215455) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: Mrrzy I seem to recall something about Mighty Casey Had Struck out... |
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30 Aug 11 - 08:24 PM (#3215572) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,sixtieschick Another one of the free 45 RPM records that parodied rock 'n' roll songs, along with "She Got a Nose Job," was "Please Betty Jane Shave Your Legs." But I don't remember a word except for that title and chorus. |
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30 Aug 11 - 09:57 PM (#3215625) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: Fl!p Breskin I didn't see one of my favorites! To the tune of Sidewalks Of New York: North Side, South Side, all around the square The factories are polluting every cubic inch of air Cars & trucks together spew exhaust up and down We'll have to play in gas masks on the sidewalks of our town! |
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10 Oct 11 - 01:20 AM (#3236543) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,DavLaurel When the Bomb comes falling down, falling down, falling down When the Bomb comes falling down, There'll be fallout. Cover up your face and head, face and head, face and head Then get on your suit of lead, Cause there's fallout. Do not stop to talk or play, talk or play, talk or play Find your shelter right away, Cause there's fallout. Just admit your nearest kin, nearest kin, nearest kin Shoot down neighbors who want in, Cause there's fallout. Come out when they sound all clear, sound all clear, sound all clear Don't drink milk till late next year...Cause there's fallout. I committed to memory a lot of these...more later. |
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10 Oct 11 - 03:25 AM (#3236559) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,DavLaurel BrooklynJay, I recall a different ending... Don't touch, Don't touch, You'll get a rash from ivy, ivy! It will Itch bad And it will look worse than acne! |
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10 Nov 11 - 08:58 PM (#3254681) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,KC Geno I don't know why I remember these lyrics. And I'm only 90% sure they were from a MAD parody. But here goes, anyway ... To the tune of "Honey" (Bobby Goldsboro's treacly sweet hit): See the tree, how big it's grown Since Honey babe left it alone It might survive She messed with it so much that it's A miracle the blasted tree Is still alive And it would sure embarrass her When I'd come home from workin' late 'Cause I would know That she'd been sittin' there all evenin' Swillin' down a great big bottle Of Old Crow I came home unexpectedly And caught her necking shamelessly With Fred one day And it was in the early spring When flowers bloom and birdies sing They went away And Honey I miss you Like a hole in the head And I hope you are happy With creepy old Fred! |
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10 Nov 11 - 11:54 PM (#3254731) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,jesfine From "College Fight songs we'd like to hear" To the tune "Anchors Away": On to the fray, my boys On to the fray! Kill those who block our path and grind their bones to Clay!(clay, clay. clay) We're mighty ________ men stalwart and strong! We'll kill the enemy as soon as we complete this victory song! |
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18 Nov 11 - 01:26 PM (#3259455) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,AmericanIcon Does ANYBODY still have the words to MAD's "Mine Eyes Have Seen The Horror of the Coming Of The Reds"? |
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23 Nov 11 - 01:00 AM (#3261889) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,bthurber How about this one, spoofing dentists...to the tune of the Air Force Song: Off we go into that wild mouth yonder looking for molars to pull. There's a tooth waiting to feel our thunder. At 'em boys, give 'em the drill, rat-a-tat-tat-tat. We dislike cavities left untreated. Teeth look bad, full of decay. When we're in doubt, we pull them out. Oh, nothing can stop the dentist today!! |
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06 Dec 11 - 06:02 PM (#3269491) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,furrball Here's as many as I can recall off the top of my so-called head: (To the tune of "My Bonnie"): The bluefish lie dead in the ocean The codfish lie dead in the sea The all died of water pollution Caused by the oil company! Don't swim! Don't swim! Remember the bluefish and cod (and cod) It's not our sea -- Texaco leased it from God! And howzabout this one? (To the tune of "Anchors Aweigh"): Our kid's away, thank God Our kid's away We sent him off to camp At thirty bucks a day(-ay-ay-ay) Though it's a lot to pay We'll raise no fuss If we complain, then they might Send him back Might send him back to us! And finally (to the tune of "Off We Go Into The Wild Blue Yonder" [or whatever that song's actually called!]): Off we go into the bargain section Running wild over the place There's a clerk coming in our direction Onward girls! Stomp on his face! There's a dress that we can all fight over Grab it, girls! Do not delay! We'll pull till it's All torn to bits Nothing can stop us shoppers today! |
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07 Dec 11 - 09:37 AM (#3269805) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: Bat Goddess Can't remember the tune, but the words to "She Got a Nose Job" are "She got a nose job, she got a nose job, It's now turned up instead of hanging down. She got a nose job, she got a nose job And now she's the prettiest girl in town." Linn |
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16 Dec 11 - 10:27 PM (#3275240) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,hotsooze I loved the mad song to the tune of "love is Blue" the words I know are New,new my heart is new , straight from a man in Kalamazoo,. also something with a second hand brain... I'd love to know the whole song! |
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13 Jan 12 - 09:46 AM (#3289943) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST Last verse of "Watchdog in the Night": Whenever Im in sight It's so upsetting, Every time you bite, It's me you're getting, Now I'm full of fright, My watchdog in the night! |
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07 Mar 12 - 05:15 PM (#3318881) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST To the tune of the Army Air Corps Song Off we go into that wild mouth yonder, Looking for molars to fill. There's a tooth waiting to feel our thunder, At 'em boys, give 'em the drill. Rat-tat-tat-tat--tat. (Something, something, something, something, Could be we dislike cavities left untreated, I'm not sure, I'll take whoevers word for it) Teeth look bad, full of decay. When we're in doubt, we pull 'em out, Oh nothing can stop a dentist today. |
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23 Mar 12 - 11:36 AM (#3327689) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST I think there is a missing line or two, because this was my favorite and I could only remember the following line. Watchdog in the night, You're so disarming. Watchdog in the night, it's so Alarming. You would lead the (?)theives to the family jewwwwwels. Anyway that's the part I almost remember. I want to thank you for posting, been looking for this for years. |
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25 Apr 12 - 10:15 AM (#3343059) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine "Watchdog in the Night" From: GUEST,no limits I thought"Watchdog in the Night" ended with "Now you're full of fight, my watchdog in the night." Either ending would be good. |
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26 Apr 12 - 09:13 PM (#3343818) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,archie One I memorized some 50-odd (some very odd) years ago: Pray, pray for old Pivnik Tech We're gonna get it right in the neck Send the sound of taps on high As our whole team lays down to die What thought the odds may be great or small Old Pivnik Tech will fumble the ball While our undergrads get sick And transfer to USC! |
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03 May 12 - 05:00 AM (#3346364) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,Madgurl to the tune of "Hello Dolly": Oh, well, hello, deli - this is Joe, deli. Would you please send up a nice corned beef on rye? A box of Ritz, deli, and some Schlitz, deli... so-me cho-pped li-ver and a sliver of your ap-ple pie? Turkey legs, deli, hard boiled eggs, deli... with to-ma-toes and po-ta-toes you-u fre-nch fry? Oh, please don't be late, deli, 'cos I can't wait, deli. Deli, withou-out breakfast I will die-eye! |
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03 May 12 - 05:06 AM (#3346366) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,Madgurl Does anyone remember Mad's version of "Mame" (from Broadway musical)? I have partial lyrics: I stagger out of a subway fight - Maimed. I end my stroll down a street at night - Maimed. I join a crowd that's jumpin' from early in the evenin' til the dawn, My heart is really pumpin' 'cos I'm the one the crowd is jumpin' on! {at this point I'm missing some of the lyrics, but it continues}: They make a mess galore of me - they make a field of war of me. Each day there's something more of me Maimed. (Thanks if anyone knows the part that's missing.....) |
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05 May 12 - 03:15 AM (#3347059) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,Mr B Here's what I remember Every day is really a fun day When I eat a big gooey sundae When I eat a big gooey sundae With the nuts on top Caramel sauce all gooey and gummy Blobs of cream all tasty and yummy Gobs of fudge that drop in my tummy With a slow plip-plop A cherry sitttin' on a pineapple slice The marshmallow's gettin' all sticky The strawberry's mixin' with the fudge real nice Which may be why I'm feeling icky Though my figure's takin' a beatin' From this gob of goo that I'm eatin' When I'm through you'll find me repeatin' 'Cause I just can't stop Eating all those gooey sundaes With the nuts on the top |
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05 May 12 - 03:27 AM (#3347061) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,Mr B The "food song" paperback mentioned above also had some poems. There is one about buttered peas to the rythym of "Gunga Din" with apologies to R. Kipling. You may talk of beef and spuds when you're frocked in fancy duds A sittin' there as cozy as you please But when some heathin' demon In your stomach starts a screamin' Then you'll sell your bloomin soul for buttered peas First you shell 'em to a man Then dump 'em in a pan And boil 'em 'til the bugler calls a halt Then remove 'em neat and clean While you shout "God save the Queen!" And serve 'em with some butter and some salt. For it's peas, peas, peas They're enough to bring a blighter to his knees -there's more that I can't remember but some of the words/phrases are: Walk the road to Mandalay for To the God above I pray for Those succulent, delicious buttered peas |
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22 May 12 - 03:35 AM (#3354151) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,guest1959 Here's one I remember to the tune of "The Battle Hymn of the Republic" Your eyes are on the story on your color RCA You are seated in a chair, alas, that's just 5 feet away To think your eyes are both exposed to radiation's way Your retinas are gone! Glory Glory don't they fool ya! Radiation's quite peculiar It's hard to keep your eyes on "Julia" Your retinas are gone! There is one more verse but I can't remember it for the life of me! |
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25 May 12 - 01:03 PM (#3355557) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST Mad Comics Parody To the tune of "Oh what a beautiful morning" There's a bright golden cyst on his elbow. There's a bright golden cyst on his elbow. His pulse is as weak as a dried-up old creek And I think that his kneecap is starting to leak. Oh what a bad operation, Oh how I wish it weren't true I did my darnedest to save him, Looks like he didn't pull though |
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28 May 12 - 03:14 PM (#3356496) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,Guest It looks like no one has added the Kellogg's song (sung to On Wisconsin): Push Rice Krispies, Push Rick Krispies Snap, crackle and pop. While you're at it, try our cornflakes, Finest of the crop-yum, yum, yum. Tell that each is, great with peaches Fresh or from the can. And while you're pushing Don't forget All Bran. |
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03 Jun 12 - 10:51 PM (#3358987) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,rjhaley Christopher Columbus song, one slight change: "No SILKS are sold here, there ain't no gold here..." |
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04 Jun 12 - 10:18 AM (#3359115) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: freddfish I'm Nothing But a Punk (To the tune of "If I only had a Brain") In the hottest summer weather, You'll find me dressed in leather, and Levis tightly shrunk. And I feel brave and reckless when I wear my Nazi necklace, Cuz I'm nothing but a punk! On my motorcycle racing, you'll find me always chasing, some poor old helpless drunk. While his head I am breaking there is simply no mistaking That I'm nothing but a punk Oh I am one tough guy that all the other ones obey. I took on a kid the other day, one punch from me, she ran away! (Sorry, that is all I remember...) |
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02 Jul 12 - 04:10 PM (#3370909) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST This is one I remember... "There's a bright golden cyst on his elbow, There's a bright golden cyst on his elbow. And his temperature's high as an elephant's eye, I think this poor bugger is ready to die" "Oh what a beautiful scalpel, Oh what a beautiful knife, I've got a wonderful feeling, We can still save his poor life" "Oh what a bad operation, Oh how I wish it weren't true, I did my durndest to save him, Looks like he didn't pull through." |
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16 Jul 12 - 09:13 PM (#3377393) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,malbuff "Wouldn't It be Kerouac" from "My Fair Ad-Man" All I remember is: "Pop-Art paintings to set the mood They'll look normal when we get stewed" and then the ad-man interjecting: "And tho' you'll think me rude O, what's this thing called 'Kerouac'?" |
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16 Jul 12 - 09:31 PM (#3377403) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,malbuff Here's another one from the mystic chords of memory, in the Songs About Food Dept., to the tune of "I'm In The Mood for Love", it was called "The Health Food Anthem" or something similar... "I'm eating food for health 'Cause it is so nutritious Though it is not delicious I'm eating food for health" My fifth grade teacher, Hank Ardanowski, was a big MAD fan. If he confiscated your copy of the magazine in class, it was only so he could read it himself. Then he'd give it back. Or sometimes he'd read it aloud to the class, instead of the lesson. We would occasionally even get to SING these songs in class as a reward, say if we'd all just passed a important exam. He once gave me extra credit for turning in a project that featured a MAD-style fold-in cover. Gosh, I haven't thought about this stuff in years! |
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30 Jul 12 - 08:28 AM (#3383600) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,Davjoh50 The Ballad of William Sycamore (the Moonshine poem. My father was a moonshine man, a regular sort of feller, He kept ma plastered for forty years, with the still he ran in the cellar, I recall the folks who sampled his stuff, the glassy look on their faces. One day our spaniel inhaled the fumes, and dropped dead at twenty paces, My father worked hard with his cooker and mash, and there were fruits of his labors. By selling his stuff around the town, he killed off most of his neighbors. Us boys, we got into the moonshine game, and gave the business new birth, The eldest is now at Alcatraz, the youngest at Leavenworth. They never caught my father, though, they no longer raid his place. The revenuers now buy his stuff, for use at a missile base. |
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30 Jul 12 - 08:35 AM (#3383603) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,davjoh50 The Ballad of William Sycamore (the Moonshine poem.) My father was a moonshine man, a regular sort of feller, He kept ma plastered for forty years, with the still he ran in the cellar, I recall the folks who sampled his stuff, the glassy look on their faces. One day our spaniel inhaled the fumes, and dropped dead at twenty paces, My father worked hard with his cooker and mash, and there were fruits of his labors. By selling his moonshine around the town, he killed off most of his neighbors. Us boys, we got into the moonshine game, and gave the business new birth, The eldest is now at Alcatraz, the youngest at Leavenworth. They never caught my father, though, they no longer raid his place. The revenuers now buy his stuff, for use at a missile base. |
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25 Aug 12 - 08:06 PM (#3395139) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST I believe the correct words to the Oklahoma! parody were: There's a bright golden cyst on his elbow, There's a bright golden cyst on his elbow, His pulse is as weak as a dried-up old creek And I think that his kneecap is starting to leak Oh! What a beautiful scalpel. Oh! What a beautiful knife. I've got a beautiful feeling We can still save his poor life. Won't you pass me the number 5 suture, Won't you pass me the number 5 suture, His skin's getting clammy, his face looks all white, And somehow I think that he ain't breathing right. Oh! What a bad operation! Oh! How I wish it weren't true! I did my durndest to save him, Looks like he didn't pull through, Looks like he didn't pull through. |
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27 Aug 12 - 12:38 AM (#3395724) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST I remember the parody as: I'm eating food for health because it's so nutritious though I hate all the dishes I'm eating food for health Blackstrap molasses pie spinach and yogurt dressing though it may be depressing I'm eating food for health |
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05 Sep 12 - 12:36 AM (#3400313) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,sunn_dog WAR Ok from memory, so don't crucify me. WAR (sung to to the tune of More) War helps to keep the population down. War means less people in a crowded town. War let's us try out new artillery. War gives our soldiers foreign trips for free. War helps the USO. Yes, War brings a Bob Hope show. Yes, War gives us lots enjoyment And it cuts down unemployment. |
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07 Sep 12 - 03:05 PM (#3401415) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,icky mickey Ted Kennedy campaign song circa 1972 Sung to "Pop Goes The Weasel" In '69 he led the polls It looked like he was ready In '69 it looked good and then oops there goes Teddy Each time he shows the Kennedy style and people think he's ready Each time it looks like he's the one oops there goes Teddy George Wallace, same year: Sung to "Oh Susanna" Well he comes from Alabama like he did in '68 And with good luck this year he might just carry his home state Well he travels all about the land making his attacks we've got a funny felling that he won't appeal to blacks Oh George Wallace show us how you can fight if you get in one things for sure you'll keep the White House white |
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22 Sep 12 - 03:18 PM (#3408775) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,I'LL TAKE MANHATTEN Does anyone know the words to I'LL CONQUER RUSSIA, the Napoleon parody from Mad Magazine? |
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26 Sep 12 - 08:09 AM (#3410372) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST BATTLE HYMN OF THE REPULICANS Mine eyes have seen the horror of the coming of the Reds they are tearing up Old Glory into sixty million shreds they are spying from our closets they are hiding neath our beds lets fight until they're gone... Glory Glory Hallelujah (3x) Lets fight until they're gone They are peeping in my windows late at night when I watch Paar I have seen them in the glove compartment of my family car they are hiding in the treetops, they control the D.A.R. lets fight until they're gone... Glory Glory Hallelujah (3x) Lets fight until they're gone THERES A RUMBLE DOWN NEXT STREET Grab your new brass knuckles and bat, wear your new black leather jacket you're in for a treat, theres a rumble down next street can't you hear the heads go 'splat'? boy they sure do make a racket crazy, man lets meet, at the rumble down next street be sure you got your switch blade, and that new zip gun you made because by the time you get there, it oughta, be slaughter if you follow my advice you will surely end up fella fried in that hot seat, from the rumble down next street. (I was only 5 and illiterate when these were published, so please forgive if my memory fails. My brothers would read them and we'd sing them together. ;) |
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26 Sep 12 - 11:42 AM (#3410490) Subject: It's A Grand Old Flag From: GUEST,Billben Der Here's how I remember: "It's A Grand Old Flag" It's a grand old bag, it's a ???? plastic bag and we find them on all of our clothes. Oh a kid can play the live-long day with them everywhere that he goes. They are much more fun than a doll or a gun, you can wave them around like flags. But should old acquaintance be forgot, keep your head out of plastic bags! |
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26 Sep 12 - 11:44 AM (#3410491) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,Bilben Der ooops...forgot to replace the ??? I had used while I recollected... :) Here's how I remember: "It's A Grand Old Flag" It's a grand old bag, it's a nice plastic bag and we find them on all of our clothes. Oh a kid can play the live-long day with them everywhere that he goes. They are much more fun than a doll or a gun, you can wave them around like flags. But should old acquaintance be forgot, keep your head out of plastic bags! |
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14 Nov 12 - 02:52 PM (#3436552) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST Amoeba- just look at the pretty amoeba- contentedly it sits,then suddenly it splits...in two! |
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01 Dec 12 - 04:22 PM (#3445379) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,LeeQ I remember a particular parody of Chesterfield cigarettes back in the 60's. It featured a "bum" looking for a cigarette butt.They changed the name to Chesterfind. Lyrics: Hustlin' handouts, guzzlin' cheap wine Stoppin' people, askin' for a dime Staggering and reeling you will find a man Who stoops to find great pleasure when and where he can Chesterfind! |
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27 Dec 12 - 09:11 PM (#3457902) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST "Oh little town of Washington" starts, Oh! Little town of Washington, We hear no Agnew speech. . . |
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28 Dec 12 - 11:40 PM (#3458571) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,Guest:john Entire "Watchdog in the Night". Watchdog in the night, I never chained you, Watchdog in the night, I always trained you, To protect my house, until the night was through. Then those burglars came, you didn't mind it, They were after loot, you helped them find it, Diamond rings and furs, you quickly led them to. Watchdog in the night, a stupid beagle you were, Watchdog in the night, and later on when I returned to my poor home, How your jaws did foam, You became a snapping dog, a crazy fearless yapping dog, Whenever I'm sight, it's so upsetting, Every time you bite, it's me you're getting, Now you're full of fight, my watchdog in the night. |
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05 Jan 13 - 11:42 PM (#3461987) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,Flawn To the tune of "stout-hearted men": Give me some men who are post office men Who work hard to deliver the mail Men who will go through the rain, through the snow Through the sleet, through the slush through the hail! Doorway to doorway, it's my way, it's your way We work, never shirk, never fail And when there's no more mailbags to keep us on the street Then post office men can go home and soak their feet! |
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17 Jan 13 - 09:16 PM (#3467879) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies: No stories like Poe From: GUEST,Koro Neil Stretching my memory back over decades - There's no stories like Poe stories, like no stories I know. If you want a tale that is appalling, If you want to murmur, shriek and cry, If you want a tale with bodies falling, and spirits calling, Then Poe's your guy. There's no stories like Poe stories, they all fill us with woe. If you want a tale that's filled with death galore, With spirits tapping on your door, And some crazy raven shouting "Never more!" There's no stories like Poe. |
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22 Jan 13 - 04:26 PM (#3470092) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,malbuff "I wandered lonely as a clod, Just picking up old rags and bottles; When onward on my way I trod, I saw a host of axolotls. Beside the lake, beneath the trees A sight to make a man's blood freeze. Some had handles, some were plain; They came in blue, red, pink and green. Some were orange in the main-- The damnedest sight I've ever seen. The females gave a spritely glance, The male ones all wore knee-length pants." The second, and concluding, verse ran thus: Now oft, when on the couch I lie The doctor asks me what I see; They flash upon my inward eye, And make me laugh with fiendish glee. I find my solace then in bottles, And I forget them axolotls. |
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01 Feb 13 - 10:07 AM (#3474407) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,Wash I could work at General Motors or McDonalds taking orders If I only had a brain... |
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07 Apr 13 - 02:58 PM (#3500128) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,Guest, Andy I remember a few of these from Mad magazine. "Downtown" with apologies to Petula Clark When you hate meat but hate the meat that you're eating the. You've surely got "Ground round" It's so unnerving when they're constantly serving in an eating spot, "Ground round" It may be called a chopped steak, Salisbury or beef patty, No matter what it is it's always overcooked and fatty. What can you do? Shout out to your waiter there, and loudly pound on the table, stand up on your chair and shout, " ground round!" You're always serving me "Ground round" Why must it always be "Ground round" You're always serving me G "Ground round, ground round, ground round...... I'm not sure about all the lyrics, but they are close.... |
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08 Apr 13 - 08:55 AM (#3500438) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: clueless don When you eat meat but hate the meat that you're eating you have surely got ... Ground Round! It's so unnerving when they're constantly serving in an eating spot ... Ground Round! It may be called a chopped steak Salisbury or beef patty No matter what it's called it's always overcooked and fatty What can you do? Call out to your waiter there beat down on your table stand up on your chair and say Ground Round! piled on my plate I see Ground Round! you're always conning me Ground Round! why does it have to be Ground Round Ground Round [fade out] Written down from memory. There may be some mistakes. |
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21 Apr 13 - 05:14 PM (#3506777) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST How I would like to have all the lyrics to "Tea for Two!" The only additional lyrics I recall are: "Weekends we Will go to see What used to be Schenectady..." |
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21 Apr 13 - 06:22 PM (#3506798) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: Fred Maslan That is why I started this thread, thanks for the addition. Fred |
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21 Apr 13 - 11:18 PM (#3506896) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST Re Pivnick Tech Here's the small piece I remember What though the odds they be great or small Old Pivnick Tech will fumble the ball While her undergrads get sick And transfer to USC! |
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06 May 13 - 03:17 AM (#3512004) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,Greven I'm also one of the baby boomers who loved mad magazine. I still remember a few fragments such as Poe's the raven I think that I shall never hear a raven who is more sincere that that one knocking on my door who's always saying never more A raven who I must assume will dirty up my living room. The Christmas songs in the hospital for the criminally insane topped by Deck the halls with parts of molly. |
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07 May 13 - 12:11 AM (#3512439) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,Koro Neil Casting my memory back over 40 years or so, I come up with: There's no stories like Poe stories, Like no stories I know. If you want a tale that is appalling, If you want to murmur, shriek and cry, If you want a tale with bodies falling, And spirits calling, then Poe's your guy. There's no stories like Poe stories, They all fill us with woe. If you want a tale that's filled with death galore, With spirits tapping on your door, And some crazy raven shouting, "Nevermore!" There's no stories like Poe. Probably a few errors in details, but that's it in essence. |
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07 May 13 - 12:13 AM (#3512440) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,Koro Neil Oops. Double up. I did a search on the page before my last post, but it didn't show up my earlier post. |
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24 May 13 - 06:10 PM (#3518963) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,Allenhopkins Some remembered: In Levittown did Irving Kahn, a stately Cape Cod house decree, Where Alf, the sacred Neuman dwelt And Nick Fazool, and Olaf Svelt, And even Sean Magee. There fifty feet of crab-grass ground, with picket fence were girdled round, A place for little Milt to play, A port for Irving's Chevrolet. But just one thing is not the very best; You can't tell Irving's house from all the rest. And one of the Pivnik Tech songs (to "On, Wisconsin"): On brave Pivnik, on brave Pivnik, show them you've got spunk! Suffocate them, decimate them, leave them all for junk! Send a roar up, roll the score up, stomp them into mud -- And then clean up the mess with their own blood! The garbage men's song (to "Anchors Aweigh"): Trash cans away, my boys, trash cans away! Let's really make some noise, Let's wake them up today-ay-ay-ay; Eggshells and coffee grounds, grease from the pan, Can't make ear-splitting sounds, So dump the garbage, dump the garbage can! |
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16 Jun 13 - 08:21 AM (#3527001) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,Tom Sung to the tune of "Born Free": M G I live just to touch you When I double clutch you MG, it gives me a thrill M G I love your ignition Your four speed transmission Your points your plugs and your grill M G I'll wash you and wax you If some Chevy smacks you I'll die, M G |
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16 Jun 13 - 08:36 AM (#3527003) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,Tom Sorry but forgot a stanza in my post above, I think I have it correct here ... Sung to the tune of "Born Free": M-G I live just to touch you When I double clutch you MG, it gives me a thrill M-G I love your ignition Your four speed transmission Your points, your plugs and your grill M-G When I look inside you The sight of each piston rod Brings me closer to God M-G I'll wash you and wax you If some Chevy smacks you I'll die .. M .. G |
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26 Jun 13 - 06:10 PM (#3530738) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST the complete Pivnik Tech lyrics, to the best of my memory: Pray, pray for old Pivnik Tech We're gonna get it right in the neck Send the sound of taps on high As our whole team lays down to die What though the odds may be great or small Old Pivik Tech will fumble the ball While our undergrads get sick And transfer to USC On another note, does anyone have the compete version of this Mad parody of The Road to Mandalay, which contains the following: On the road to Loueyville Where the hoodlums shoot to kill And the thugs come up like thunder When you owe the mob a bill |
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16 Jul 13 - 12:00 PM (#3538082) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies "Tea for Two" From: GUEST,lifelonghuman No friends or relations, On weekend vacations,... On week...ends...we...can go...and see, What used...to be...Schenec...tady, ... [those ... are musical rests] |
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24 Sep 13 - 11:07 AM (#3560844) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,paladin1216 This is from memory. I hope it's right. She's a Mean Old Bag To the tune of "Grand old Flag" She's a mean old bag, she's a nasty old hag, And forever she's filled us with hate. But we treat her sweet, and kiss her feet, And tell het we think that she's great. She may curse at us, we will not raise a fuss, When she starts in to scream and nag, For we all are counting what we'll get, From the will of that mean old bag. |
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04 Oct 13 - 02:37 PM (#3564297) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,Nutty Sister I'm "trying to remember" that campaign song for Alfred E. Neuman. This is what I have (thanks to those who posted some verses!) To the tune of "Try to Remember" Try to remember this coming to vote for Neuman, vote for Neuman Change your direction, don't look for perfection and vote for Neuman, vote for Neuman. Alfred E. Neuman, though slightly sub-human will win just like Truman did from Missouri. Back today and the country can say "What, Me Worry?" Kennedy voters and Nixon promoters will vote for Neuman, vote for Neuman. Humphrey crusaders and Lindsay paraders will vote for Neuman, vote for Neuman. Alfred E. Neuman, with brain of albumen will win just like Truman did from Missouri. Back and then we can say once again "What, Me Worry?" |
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04 Oct 13 - 05:17 PM (#3564323) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,Nuttier Sister And, since our beloved candidate is immortal, we can adapt our song for any election. For instance a year ago we could have been singing: To the tune of "Try to Remember" Hillary voters, Obama promoters will vote for Neuman, vote for Neuman. Romney crusaders and Gingrich paraders will vote for Neuman, vote for Neuman. Alfred E. Neuman, with brain of albumen will win just like Truman did from Missouri. Back him and then we can say once again "What, Me Worry? Let's see what happens in 2016. I sure I'll be sending a write-in ballad for Alfred!!! |
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14 Dec 13 - 10:43 PM (#3584208) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,Sheld'n Ring, ring for Bell Telephone We look up numbers when they're unknown We place calls for V.I.P.s We listen in each time we please We are efficient, we are alert We hear the gossip, pick up the dirt Every time a call's cut off we Hang up for victory! |
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14 Dec 13 - 10:47 PM (#3584209) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,Sheld'n The above is to the tune of the "Notre Dame fight song". |
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24 Dec 13 - 10:51 PM (#3586443) Subject: Oh goodness, oh gracious, oh golly, oh gee . . . From: GUEST,demfig Trying to locate a Christmas poem published in Mad Magazine in late 50s or early 60s. It began, "Oh goodness, oh gracious oh golly, oh gee; I wonder what all the commotion can be?; someone is shouting and cursing at me; why, Santa is stuck in our chimney . . ." Can anyone help with additional verses? |
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31 Mar 14 - 10:29 AM (#3613965) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,Zingdar God bless the BOYS that made the NOISE at MAD Magazine ! To the tune of "Kisses sweeter then wine" Well, when I was a young man I had me no car, So I always stayed home, I never went far. I had me no wheels, no gas in the tank, In fact all I really had was dough in the bank. Oh, oh, money that was all mine, Oh, oh, money that was all mine. Well, I met a dealer and I showed him my cash, He said, 'My friend, what you need is a '52 Nash. The contract I signed was to drive me to tears, It called for low easy payments for the next hundred years. Oh, oh, money no longer mine, Oh, oh, money no longer mine. Well, I don't like to protest, I'm just not that kind, But when my grounds for complaint are so easy to find. License and tax are outrageously high, And when you go to insure, kiss your savings 'Go Bye'. Oh, oh, money used to be mine, Oh, oh, money used to be mine. Well, I've heard it proclaimed, though I'm not really sure. That there's a Federal Program, To help out the poor. I don't ask for food or the Job-Training-Corp, Just cash to make a dozen payments or more. Oh, oh, money rightfully mine, Oh, oh, money rightfully mine. |
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29 May 14 - 10:29 AM (#3628896) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,Stringbead Does anyone remember the parody song about Huntley and Brinkley? I remember parts of it. To the tune of Frankie and Johnnie. Huntley and Brinkley were partners working for old NBC They swore they would stick with each other every weekday on TV Chet was Dave's pal, but he was doing him wrong. At the end it was something like this: Brinkley walked into the station and golly he pretty near died Cause there in the newsroom was Huntley with Eric Severeid Chet was Dave's pal, but he was doing him wrong. |
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03 Jun 14 - 12:00 PM (#3629961) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,Sleight0fHand I still remember a good bit of a parody of the Gunga Din poem but about Joe Namath... You can talk about your guards, And your fullbacks gaining yards. And those ends that run the hook and down-and-out. But when it comes to glory, then the quarterback's your story. Cause it's him the fans all want to read about. Now there's .... and Johny U, Bart Starr and ..... too, And Fran Tarkington, who scrambles for his dough. But of those that pass the ball, It seems the coolest of them all, Is that hero of the Jets team, Broadway Joe. For it's "Joe!, Joe!, Joe!", a blonde is waving in the seventh row. All the grandstands will be shaking, With the passes you'll be making. And we don't mean playing football, Broadway Joe. |
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12 Jun 14 - 11:35 PM (#3632654) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST Sung to the tune "Red river valley"....... In this valley they say they are digging They are building a thruway they say It will cross your yard and will miss Your split level which is twelve feet away Do not play by the craters they're digging For the craters are big and they're deep If you fall into one you'll be buried And you really don't need all that sleep Do not touch all the funny explosives Do not play with the dynamite cap If you do you'll be like a thruway You'll be spread all over the map. |
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17 Jul 14 - 04:07 PM (#3642935) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,Torka From the same "Songs About Food" issue mentioned previously... HELLO, DELI (to the tune of "Hello, Dolly") Hello, deli... This is Joe, deli... Would you please send up some nice corned beef on rye? A box of Ritz, deli; And some Schlitz, deli; Some chopped liver, and a sliver of your apple pie? Turkey legs, deli; Hard boiled eggs, deli; Some tomatoes and potatoes you french fry, Oh! Please don't be late, deli! Cause I can't wait, deli! Deli, without breakfast I will die! |
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07 Sep 14 - 04:57 PM (#3658212) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,idseer ok, there was one from the 60's about Khrushchev sung to the tune "maria" from westside story. all I remember is: nikita .... I just met a red named mikita I know it's not much, but does anyone have access to the whole thing? |
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10 Oct 14 - 01:27 PM (#3667886) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,Guest Atimk11123 I also remember a Mad Magazine parody on a poem. It went , I remember I remember the place where I was born The little bathroom down the hall where nineteen raced each morn The rest I cannot remember of find a copy. It was a hoot. |
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04 Apr 15 - 10:01 PM (#3699690) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,JonWiz I remember only the first stanza of a parody of "The Killing od Dan Megrew" A bunch of the boys were whooping it up, one Christmas Eve one year, all full of cheap whiskey and hoping like hell, that Saint Nick would soon appear. Can't remember the rest, could someone help finish the rest? |
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20 Apr 15 - 09:34 AM (#3703143) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,Ship2shore Another funny blast from the past courtesy of the zany minds of Mad Magazine. To the tune of "Frosty the Snowman" - Harry the mailman brings us letters soaked with rain. Jams the box so full that the mail is crushed and then laughs when we complain. Charlie the milkman is the biggest slob in town Seldom leaves the quarts that we've asked him for, when he does, they're upside-down. Eleven months through-out the year, they're as lousy as can be. But starting in December, they show great efficiency. Then Charlie and Harry really show they're full of zip! And they'll work that way every doggone day, Til they get their Christmas tip! |
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20 Apr 15 - 09:44 AM (#3703147) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,Ship2shore How the heck does one remember something from almost 50 years ago?? I think as kids, we treasured the hilarity and wittiness of both the words and the accompanying artwork, and set to music, it somehow remains intact. Can still visualize some of the funny art, too. I recall one more to share: To the tune of the "Notre Dame Fight Song" Cheer, cheer for our charge accounts. We run up bills in mammoth amounts. Freezers, sports cars, TV sets. Each one keeps bringing brand new debts. What though the bills be great or small? We can't pay one, so why pay at all? We will live in comfort while we're heading towards bankruptcy! |
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27 Apr 15 - 03:55 PM (#3704627) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,Old galoot Our kid's away, thank God Our kid's away! We've sent him off to ca-amp At fifty bu-ucks a da-ay! Though that's a lot to pay We'll make no fuss! If we complain then they might Send him back, send him back, to uh-usss! Sung to Anchors Aweigh. Sound familiar to anyone? |
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25 May 15 - 08:30 PM (#3711768) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST TO A SMOKER, IT'S A KENT To an ulcer, it's a shot of booze to a weak heart, it's some shocking news, to a deep cut, it could be gangrene, to a smoker, nicotine. To a sheriff, it's a top gun shot, to a rustler, it's a hangman's knot, to a cowboy, it's a wild stampede, to a smoker, it's a weed. To a bigot, it's a Jew next door, to a klansman, it's a guy from CORE, ?? To a stroller, it's central park, ??? Anybody know the rest? |
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07 Sep 15 - 01:47 PM (#3736072) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,Bill Adding to the "No Monsters Like Pro Monsters," I seem to recall a lyric that went something like: (Something about being) ...a normal slob, You've got a wife and kid and a steady job, You drink a magic potion, and you're now the Blob.... And that's all I recall. |
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08 Sep 15 - 10:48 PM (#3736353) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST In the dark they're aglowing, It's another way of knowing, That I'm nothing but a square. |
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25 Sep 15 - 01:21 PM (#3739726) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,guest Back to West Side Story... MAD did indeed do a parody on it. I can only remember a few lines sung to the tune "Maria" titled "Amoeba" Amoeba...I just met a blob named Amoeba, ---- Chorus: Amoeba..how your two cells do split into four cells. And those four cells will split into more cells. Amoeba,...I just met a blob named Amoeba. On a side note, Mad did a version sung to the tune of Bridge over the River Kwai called Comet. Comet..It makes your mouth turn green. Comet..It tastes like kerosene. Comet, It makes you vomit...so eat some Comet, and vomit, today. |
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18 Nov 15 - 02:11 PM (#3751871) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,rll_sb A little nest that nestled where the H bombs boom You'll see a smiling face without a trace of coming doom. |
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18 Nov 15 - 06:13 PM (#3751925) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: keberoxu I remember some of these! "Oh What a Beautiful Morning" must have been popular for parodies, because I recall the DENTIST'S LOVE SONG or some such title: There's a bright golden cap on your cuspid There's a bright golden cap on your cuspid The gold glitters down from the bridgework above One filling is loose and I'm falling in love Oh What a Terrible MO-LAR See how the cavity's grown I'll put my heart in my drilling If you will call me your own You can tell that the novocaine's working You can tell that the novocaine's working Your feeling is gone from your chin to your ear Your tongue's getting numb and I worship you dear Oh What a Glorious FEE-LING And though my love you now spurn Darling your heart I'll be winning When in six months you return |
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19 Nov 15 - 08:38 AM (#3752058) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: clueless don I've lost track of whether this has been mentioned before, but Mad did a take-off on West Side Story, called "East Side Story" - it was about the United Nations (whose headquarters are on New York's East side?) One song (to the tune of "There's a Place for Us") was sung by Chairman Mao, asking to be admitted to the UN. One verse went something like Please be sweet to us and give a seat to us. Let us in and such joy you'll get like we gave Tibet. Don |
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20 Nov 15 - 08:42 AM (#3752297) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,Ebor Fiddler I remember fondly the non-parody of The Wreck of the Hesperus, with fiendishly comical illustrations, such as "billows NOT pillows!" The rest is best left to the imagination. |
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22 Nov 15 - 11:12 PM (#3752795) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,Montreal88 (Tune of "Stranger in Paradise") Let's play cards I'm no good with a pair o' dice. There was another song to the tune of "Isle of Capri" with a line: I found her there On a pile of debris. Remember the "Mad Beastlies"? One had a drawing of two native Indians with brooms on top of a huge 2-headed man. The quote read: "Braves Sweep Giant Doubleheader". Movie and TV parodies I remember: "201 Minutes of a Space Idiocy" "The Man from A.U.N.T.I.E." "Voyage to See What's On the Bottom" (Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea) "Loused Up in Space" (Lost in Space) I think there was also "The Sound of Money". And my all-time favorite parody of pro sports: "43-man Squamish" |
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23 Nov 15 - 09:06 AM (#3752883) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: clueless don "My Fair Ad-Man" "Star Blecch" and on. and on. |
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23 Nov 15 - 06:16 PM (#3753010) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,Anita Does anyone remember the parody of Gunga Din? It was probably from the late 70s/early 80s...?? It was fro an article called "Mad Takes on The Classics" Or something like that. All I remember is the beginning: Oh, you can talk of blood and gore If your in a shooting war, and the enemy is rushing for the kill. But if you're' wanting slaughter, Then you ought to haul some water, Like that brave and fearless couple, Jack and Jill. Poor Jack and Jill, They went rushing up that hill, And nary one thought they'd loose their life! ..and the ending, You're a braver man than I am, Jack and Jill!!! |
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01 Dec 15 - 04:43 PM (#3754986) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,A Guy From Baltimore Did a Google search for Mad song parodies, as I grew up reading the book collections (such as "Sing Along With Mad" and "Mad About Verse." I remember one of the military anthems in full: (Marine Corps Hymn) From the neck-high mud of fo-ox holes To malaria-filled bogs We will march for ninety miles a day And drop out and die like dogs We will land on mine-strewn beaches And we'll live with snakes and fleas Then we'll all leave Parris Island for Restful combat overseas! and part of the Air Force hymn... Off we go, into the barracks yonder, Pulling an inspection again... Roar right in, just like a clap of thunder Scare the hell out of the men! To the tune of "Aquarius" (from the musical "Hair") When the sun is blotted out of sight And both your eyes begin to burn And you can't see the freeway To make That left hand turn You know you're driving in the Smog of Los Angeles! Smog of Los Angeles! Los Angeleeeees! |
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14 Dec 15 - 12:17 PM (#3758365) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,Bob johns Watchdog in the night (Song to the tune of Strangers In The Night) Watchdog in the night I've never chained you Watchdog in the night I've always trained you To proctor my house, until the night was through Watchdog in the night A stupid beagle you were Watchdog in the night And when those burglars came You didn't mind it They were after loot You helped them find it Diamonds, rings and furs You quickly led them to Watchdog in the night A stupid beagle you were Watchdog in the night And later on when I returned to my poor home How you jaws did foam You became a snapping dog A wild and fearless yapping dog And ever since that night It's so upsetting Every time you bite It's me your getting It turned out so right For watchdog in the night |
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19 Jan 16 - 02:46 AM (#3766591) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies - Poe Business From: GUEST,Suzanne, Australia It's the 19th January 2016 today and the 207th birthday of Edgar Allan Poe (1809 - 1849) I remembered a fantastic parody I copied from Mad Magazine. My choir friends and I loved to sing this in the late 1960s Thank you so much to Neil Koro for his posts in January and May 2013. You and Mudcat have made my day You helped fill in the gaps for me, so between us, this is what I have come up with. I hope you like it. "There's no business like Poe Business" (to the tune "There's no business like show business") There's no business like Poe business , Like no business I know. If you want a tale that is appalling, If you want to murmur, shriek and cry, If you want to hear strange bodies falling, And spirits calling, then Poe's your guy. There's no stories like Poe stories , They all fill us with woe. If you want a tale that's filled with death galore, With spirits tapping upon your door, And some crazy raven shrieking, "Nevermore!" There's no business like Poe. Hollywood is constantly looking for new ideas or producing endless sequels (or prequels) But now that there are so many special effects available, perhaps now would be an excellent time to resurrect Poe's stories and restore him to greatness. |
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17 Feb 16 - 11:44 PM (#3773454) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,Tune of the Marine Corps Hymn From the halls of old ROTC To the rooms at OCS We are taught that all enlisted men Have to live in great distress. So, we badger and annoy them With our chores both cruel and mean, And instead of fighting battles They are cleaning up latrines. |
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17 Feb 16 - 11:56 PM (#3773456) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,To the tune of the Air Force Song Off we go into the barracks yonder, Pulling an inspection again. Roar right in just like a clap of thunder Scare the hell out of the men. Gig 'em all, this is no time to blunder Get KPs like never before. We live to harass the enlisted class. Nothing can stop the Chicken Brass Corps. |
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07 May 16 - 01:52 PM (#3789041) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,SGKingdom The WW3 aftermath songs were my favorites. Thanks for the "Street Where You Live" Here's "My Blue Shelter" "Whenever I hear A bomb threat is near I hurry to my blue shelter A hole in the floor A six inch lead door Will lead you to my blue shelter You'll see a smiling face Without a trace of coming doom A little nest that's nestled where The H bombs boom Just Molly and me Let's see, that makes three We're happy in my blue shelter" I never understood that last part, but when I was younger, it was hilarious. |
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10 May 16 - 11:12 PM (#3789695) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,Bill_R The Monopoly song was part of the "fight songs for lesser school teams" (along with the bridge team song). The whole lyric, IIRC: To the tune of the Marines' Hymn: From the slums of Baltic Avenue 'Round Boardwalk and Park Place We will buy up all the prop-er-ties Build hotels on every space. We will drive our foes to bank-rup-tcy If they fail to pay the price… But we cannot even start the game 'Till somebody finds the dice. |
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13 May 16 - 01:19 AM (#3789970) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,skylarkbc Still in the memory banks: Melvin, Norman and Fred one night sailed off in a garbage scow Sailed down a river of floating blight with coffee grounds on the prow Stuff that's rotten and ripe have we Said Melvin, Norman and Fred. The Coast Guard scowled and searched the three as they rocked in the garbage scow they found smuggled guns in kegs marked 'tea' and contraband in the prow We wonder who could have put that stuff there, surely it wasn't we So whimpered aloud the smugglers three Melvin, Norman and Fred Melvin and Fred are in Leavenworth and Norman's on the Rock The garbage scow has a lovely berth in custody at the dock Melvin's due out in '64 and Fred in '73 Norman he tried to go over the wall but a guard he happened to see and that was the end of one-third of the three Melvin, [deceased] and Fred |
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19 May 16 - 04:23 PM (#3791166) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST oH YOU DONT HAVE TO WORRY IF YOUR COMPLEXION IS GOOD WHEN YOU'RE OUT TO TERRORIZE THE NEIGHBORHOOD. aND YOU DON'T HAVE TO WORRY IF YOU'LL BE HOME SOON WHEN YOU LIVE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BLACK LAGOON. iNCOMPLETE FRAGMENTS OF SUPERNATURALLY FROM MANNY GET YOUR GHOUL, BASED LOOSELY ON ANNIE GET YOUR GUN iDA TARBELL MR1111@CHARTER.NET |
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03 Aug 16 - 10:52 AM (#3803371) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST A couple I remember from back at least 40-50 years ago: The Langscaper's Song. (sung to the tune of The Marine Song) From the ants in our petunia beds To the crabgrass on our lawns We will fight them off with chemicals 'Til the bugs and weeds are gone. We'll use quarts and quarts of poison sprays And we won't stop 'til we're through All the bugs and weeds are dying now But the plants and trees are too. The Mafia Song: (Battle Hymn of the Republic) Mine eyes have sen the gory of the coming of the mob With an ice pick or a .45 they knock off every slob The Don gives all the orders for each big or little job Godfather marches on. Gory, gory how they slew ya Gory, gory how they slew ya Gory, gory how they slew ya Godfather marches on. When the boss puts out a contract in your head they'll make a dent Then they'll wrap you in an overcoat that's made of cement On the bottom of the river, you'll become a reseden Godfather marches on. |
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15 Jan 17 - 01:04 PM (#3832793) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,itsy If anyone knows the rest of these lyrics: I have often walked down your street before but there once was pavement underneath my feet before. Now when I walk by I see rubble fly, knowing I'm on the street where you live. This must have been late 50's or early 60's during the cold war. |
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29 Mar 17 - 01:52 PM (#3847408) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,newtonsmum Can anyone fill in the rest of this? All I can remember is: (To the tune of My Bonnie Lies Over the Ocean) On Look there's a cop shooting tear gas On Life there's a thug set to kill A hate-group is pictured on Harper's A young junkie's on Jack & Jill That's how, that's how, That's how you sell magazines today. That's how, that's how, that's how you sell magazines There was also a line about "a mad dog is on Field & Steam" |
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10 May 17 - 11:54 PM (#3854365) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,Jim Belesky I was at an amateur folk event a couple of weeks ago. One act played Dylan's Blowing in the Wind. Afterwards, I looked online to see if anyone posted the version 'The Sponsors will sell you all they can'. Lines like How many times must you gargle each day Before you talk to a friend The sponsors my friend, will sell you all they can The sponsors will sell you all they can |
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05 Nov 17 - 12:25 PM (#3886909) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,Iddo.Effie Some filler for GUEST,jesfine From "College Fight songs we'd like to hear" To the tune "Anchors Away": On to the fray, my boys On to the fray! Kill those who block our path and grind their bones to Clay!(clay, clay. clay) We're mighty Pivnick men stalwart and strong! We'll beat the visitors as soon as we conclude this modest song! |
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07 Nov 17 - 06:42 PM (#3887408) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: Donuel Who still has their record 'It's a Gas'? |
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11 Feb 18 - 09:43 PM (#3905080) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,Neon Leon Casey at the Dice by Frank Jacobs The table wasn't breaking for the Vegas crowd that night, The house was up 12 thousand, with no change of luck in sight; So, when Epstein came up snake-eyes and Spinelli missed his point, A mood of deep depression could be felt throughout the joint. The dollar-bettors, cleaned of cash, were heading for the door, But all the big high-rollers stayed to even up the score; They said: "If only Casey had a chance to roll the dice, We'd have a chance to change our luck, which now is cold as ice." Then, suddenly, their eyes lit up, a cry rose from their lips, It echoed off the slot machines, it rattled off the chips; It rumbled through the Black Jack games as cards were being dealt, For Casey, lucky Casey, was advancing to the felt! His nails were cleanly manicured, his face was richly tanned, His suit was iridescent silk that cost him half a grand; The cuff-links on his sheer batiste were rubies from afar, Between his teeth he cooly smoked a ninety-cent cigar! There was ease in Casey's manner as he calmly placed his bet, His hands were steady as a rock, his palms were free of sweat; The other shooters, now revived, together had one goal, To place each C-note they had left on Casey and his roll! With confidence and quiet pride he gripped the cubes of white, Then, blowing on them softly, he prepared them for their flight; "A seven, dice," he murmured, as he looked up to the sky, And a hush went 'round the table as he raised his arm on high! The cool is drained from Casey's face, his eyes are tense and keen And all along his sun-drenched brow deep furrows can be seen; And now he firmly hold the dice, and now he lets them go, And now the air is shattered by the force of Casey's throw! Oh, somewhere in this wealthy land there is a happy spot, Where naturals are being rolled, and dice are running hot; And somewhere men are doubling up and winners scream and shout, But there is no joy in Vegas -- Lucky Casey has crapped out! |
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12 Jul 18 - 04:28 PM (#3936963) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,Guest mad reader I think the last few lines for "watchdog in the the night" go something like this: Whenever I'm in sight- it's so upsetting Every time you bite- it's me you're getting ooooh! ooooh! ooooh! my watchdog in the nighttt |
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14 Aug 18 - 12:43 AM (#3943765) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST I'm searching Alfred E., for a classic from around(1960) the time between throwing lemons at cars and finally getting it wet. A dentist song to the tune of the Air Force song. Off we go,Into the wild mouth yonder, looking for molars to fill. There's a tooth ready to feel out thunder, at em boy's, give em the dril..???/@#$%^&*()@@##DFDI'..................I've lost the middle part and that section of my brain, but IF YOU REMEBER THE LAST STANZA OF THE AIR FORCE song, I guess it's a song WHEN WE'RE IN DOUBT WE PULL THEM OUT OH' N0THING CAN STOP THE DENTISTS TODAY |
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15 Aug 18 - 12:00 AM (#3943997) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: EBarnacle In the years this thread has been running, there has been mention of some of the regular guest contributors, especially from the '50's but who can forget Tom Lehrer, whose every printed utterance was a glorious epic parody of entire generae without having to say "I'm writing something to the melody of X." Consider "The Wild West is where I want to be" and many others. I am glad he is still with us but regret his retirement. |
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27 Nov 18 - 04:55 PM (#3963653) Subject: RE: TO A SMOKER, IT'S A KENT From: GUEST,GUEST To a sheriff, it's a top gun's shot, to a rustler, it's a hangman's knot, to a cowboy, it's a mad stampede, to a smoker, it's a weed. To a bigot, it's a Jew next door, to a klansman, it's a guy from CORE, to a bircher, it's a Commie nut, to a smoker, it's a butt. To a diver, it's a hungry shark, to a stroller, it's a Central Park, to a hunter, it's a wild stag, to a smoker, it's a drag. To an ulcer, it's a shot of booze, to a weak heart, it's some shocking news, to a deep cut, it could be gangrene, to a smoker, nicotine. |
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29 Nov 18 - 08:54 PM (#3963943) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: Donuel GUESTGUEST Kent had a Micronite filter ( short for micronitroglycerin ) |
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08 Dec 18 - 01:32 PM (#3965485) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,Fred Off we go Into the lunchroom yonder Pushing girls, out of the way. Forward boys, Start moving down the counter, Grab your grub, fill up your tray. Try the beans, they were prepared last Friday, And the meat's tough as a mule. The soup is cold The bread's got mold Yech! Anything beats the lunchroom at our school. |
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08 Dec 18 - 01:58 PM (#3965489) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,Fred Off we go Into the lunchroom yonder Pushing girls, out of the way. Forward boys, Start moving down the counter, Grab your grub, fill up your tray. Try the beans, they were prepared last Friday, And the meat's tough as a mule. The soup is cold The bread's got mold Yech! Anything beats the lunchroom at our school. |
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08 Dec 18 - 08:16 PM (#3965539) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: robomatic No song but when I was in high school I got to visit the Soviet Union. For my onflight reading I took a copy of MAD magazine where they were skewering the movie version of "Catch-22". The magazine cover was a big headed Alfred E. Neuman in WWII flight gear smiling his inimitable grin. Got some interesting double takes going through Soviet Customs! |
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21 Dec 18 - 12:31 PM (#3967725) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,Guest67 When I was about 10, my friend and I would sing Mad Magazine parodies for my dad. He would laugh until his stomach hurt, his face was red, and he had to take off his glasses and wipe his eyes between bellows of laughter. I remember several, my favorite being this one. Here's most of it, sung to the tune of "Love is Blue: News, News, It's time for News Cronkite is here, so what can you lose? News, News, World leaders' views Brezhnev, and Mao, and George Pompidou (Line I can't remember--can anyone help? (Line I can't remember--can anyone help? News, News, Domestic News, News of the Mob, that you can't refuse When we're through And the world's picked clean, Sevareid will explain what you've seen! Bought the Mad Magazine Anniversary book and was disappointed to see that the song lyrics didn't make it. They probably had no idea how many people loved them and still remember them. In my case, it's been around 45 years, and I'm missing two lines. Funny what sticks with you. I can't remember where I've put my phone or car keys, but I remember the whole skit we laid out for my dad. |
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24 Dec 18 - 08:43 AM (#3968146) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: Donuel The first movie I saw and could retell was Attack of the 50 foot Woman. This month the cover of Mad is Attack of the 50 ft Trump. |
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19 Feb 19 - 02:05 PM (#3977818) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,Dave Sung to the tune of "Button up your Overcoat" Buckle up your helmet strap, hide behind a tree, there's a riot again down at PS3. Don't go near the picket line, that's no place to be, they may fracture your skull down at PS3. Beware of roughneck nuts, oooo, switchblade cuts, oooo, trooper's mutts, oooo. You'll get a bite in your tummy tum tum tum. Keep away from flying rocks they bay break your knee. Life at school nowadays is like world war 3. |
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08 Mar 19 - 02:04 AM (#3980858) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,Guest Huntley, Huntley on my screen, Dullest newsman I have seen. What infernal network plan, Makes thee such a boring man? Brinkley, Brinkley cute and bright, Coining quips each weekday night, x x x x Huntley, Brinkley I detest, I'll get my news on CBS |
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28 Mar 19 - 10:42 AM (#3984911) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST Guest: Wry Mouth |
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04 Apr 19 - 02:39 PM (#3985929) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,Mrturk The way I remembered it: There's a bright golden cloud in our backyeard, There's the smell of charred beef in our backyard. The scene may appear. As an A-bomb dropped here, But it's only our barbecue out in the rear, Oh, what a beautiful beefsteak, Oh, what a thick tenderloin. Too bad my pop likes to cook out, Burned to a crisp, it'll boin. |
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04 Apr 19 - 02:40 PM (#3985930) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,Mrturk Here's another verse: Weekends we, Would go and see, What used to be, Schenectady. We'll shout with glee, The thruway will be free. |
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04 Apr 19 - 02:47 PM (#3985932) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,Mrturk I read MAD from the late 50's to the mid 70's. I considered 'East Side Story' the best parody they ever did. Great lyrics and a good finish. The artwork had lots of little things in it. Songs included, 'Nikita, I just met a Red named Nikita'; 'Dear Commissar Khrushchev'. Check out this line from their version of 'America': "Life is a whiz in America, Eddie met Liz in America, Thought she was his in America, Well, that's show biz in America. You'll like the weather in Moscow, If you like driving a snow plow." |
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05 Apr 19 - 06:36 AM (#3985996) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: clueless don From East Side Story: Please be sweet to us and give a seat to us ... [This was Mao asking that Red China be admitted to the UN - sung to the tune of "There's a place for us".] |
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24 Apr 19 - 06:09 PM (#3989067) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,Real Old Fan Jack and Jill You can talk of blood'n gore when you're in a shooting war And the enemy is charging for the hill - But if you're liking slaughter, Then you ought a haul some water, Like that brave and fearless couple, Jack and Jill. Well they had a pail to fill When they climbed that craggy hill And they never thought that soon they would be dead; But Jack he too a fall and bounced just like a ball Til he landed in a a gully on his head. He hollered, "Jill, Jill, Jill! I'm a lying at the bottom of the hill" But poor Jill had plunged as well and they died right where they fell. You've a lot more guts than I have, Jack and Jill. |
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01 May 19 - 10:44 PM (#3990315) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,Kosmo! Does anyone recall a song parody about a dive restaurant called "This Place" sung to the tune of This Train is Bound for Glory"...? Here is some of what I remember: This place got surly waiters, this place. This place got surly waiters, this place. This place got surly waiters, watery soups and half-baked 'taters, This place to no one caters, this place. I'm remembering this from almost 50 years ago and I think the issue would be older than that. Loved Mad! |
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11 May 19 - 11:30 PM (#3991866) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,Carle Place Sung to the tune of "Try to Remember" from The Fantasticks Try to remember, this coming November, and vote for Neuman, vote for Neuman, Change your direction, don't look for perfection, and vote for Neuman, vote for Neuman, Alfred E. Neuman, with brains of albumin, will win just like Truman did from Missouri. Back him today, and the country can say, "What me worry, worry, worry, worry, worry, worry". Mad Magazine, June 1972 ? (additional lyrics/details welcome) |
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01 Jul 19 - 07:27 PM (#3998774) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST My Blue Shelter A hole in the floor, a six inch lead door We're happy in my blue shelter. You'll see a smiling face with out a trace of coming doom A little nest that's nestled where the H-bombs boom. Just Molly and me, let's see that makes three. We're happy in my blue shelter. |
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03 Jul 19 - 01:42 AM (#3998976) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,Rabbit Hole hopper From the slums of Baltic Avenue, To the Boardwalk and Park Place, We will buy up all the properties, Build hotels on every space. We will drive our folks to bankruptcy, If they fail to pay our price, But we cannot even start the game, Until someone finds the dice! |
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05 Jul 19 - 03:06 PM (#3999429) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,Fred Maslan Latest news MAD Magazine is ceasing publication. |
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07 Jul 19 - 05:30 AM (#3999639) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST school lunchroom song sung to the tune of off we go |
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07 Jul 19 - 10:53 AM (#3999680) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,GUEST In the fifties cars had fins and lots of chrome. MAD parodied that to the Marine Corps Hymn. From the gaudy grills of Cadillac to the fins of Chevrolet, We will push GM's new models and make obsolescence pay. So to heck with Ford and Chrysler, boys, And to sports cars from afar, We won't stop 'til every family owns a brand new GM car! |
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07 Jul 19 - 02:24 PM (#3999721) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,.gargoyle Nice article about MAD publication. Humorist "Weird Al Yankovic" gives a nod to the magazine leading him to his musical discovery of, " “I certainly went beyond Mad magazine to discover Spike Jones and Stan Freberg and Tom Lehrer, but it all started with Mad ..." https://beta.washingtonpost.com/arts-entertainment/2019/07/04/mad-magazine-pioneer-modern-satire-will-soon-cease-publishing-new-content/?outputType=amp |
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03 Oct 19 - 10:20 AM (#4011708) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST These might be repeats, i didnt have time to read all of these comments, just found this page but had to contribute. THanks for sharing all of these! I loved these. sung to: Off We Go Into The Wild Blue Yonder Off we go into the lunch room yonder pushing girls out of our way Forward boys start moving down the counter Grab your grub, fill up your tray. Try the beans, they were prepared last Friday and the meat's tough as a mule The soup is cold, The breads got mold, YECH! anything beats our lunchroom at school. Oh how I loved these parodies. I'm 63 and still have them in my head. Sung to: As the Caissons Go Rolling Along In a test for a class that we know we just cant pass, see the goof offs go faking along start to heave, fake a chill anything so you'll look ill as the goof offs go faking along For its hi hi hoo lets all fake the Asian flu Shout out your symptoms loud and strong Blah, Ech! we will feel enthused when the teacher says excused as the goof offs go faking along. Cant remember the actual tune of this one. Cheat em all cheat em all in the springtime the winter and fall. those Lincoln quotations we hide in our fist that Longfellow verse written on our left wrist. If you find, that your mind cant recall, the date when the Romans took Gaul, a glance at your kneecap will help you recap so why take a chance Cheat em all! |
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04 Oct 19 - 06:17 AM (#4011865) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: clueless don GUEST, the third of your parodies looks like it was sung to "Bless 'em All". |
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05 Nov 19 - 05:49 PM (#4017365) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST DOES ANYONE KNOW THE MAD LYRICS FOR XMAS SONG LET IT SNOW... EG OH THE WEATHER OUTSIDE IS SNOWING AND THE GARBAGE MEN AREN'T SHOWING......ETC |
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22 Dec 19 - 06:51 AM (#4024841) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,Roland Some Mad "nursery rhymes" that have stuck with me all these years: When Onassis goes broke, and the H-bomb's a joke, and bookies no longer take bets, when bacon is kosher, then Leo Durocher will win seven straight from the Mets! * Twinkle, twinkle, man with star, officer, don't tag my car! Though it's double-parked and waits, can't you see my M.D. plates?! * If wishes were horses, we'd all ride for free. If Huntley were Cronkite, we'd watch NBC! (to the tune of "The Caissons go marching along") In a test for a class that we know that we can't pass see the goof-offs go faking along! Start to heave, fake a chill, anything so's you'll look ill, as the goof-offs go faking along! For it's hi hi hoo, we'll all fake the Asian flu! Call out your symptoms loud and strong (blah! ecch!) We will feel enthused when the teacher says excused as the goof-offs go faking along! Ya gotta be ancient to appreciate these :) |
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04 Jan 20 - 08:11 PM (#4026363) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,missingjackcarney Here's the bad restaurant parody: This place ain't got clean dishes, this place. This place ain't got clean dishes, this place. This place ain't got clean dishes, moldy breads and rancid fishes. This place serves what it wishes, this place. This place has surly waiters, this place. This place has surly waiters, this place. This place has surly waiters, watery soups and half-baked 'taters. This place to no one caters, this place. This place has two main courses, this place. This place has two main courses, this place. This place has two main courses, both of them with thick brown sauces camouflaging meat from horses, this place. I also liked "Fat-Bellied Men" to the tune of "Stout-Hearted Men." |
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08 Feb 20 - 03:53 PM (#4033030) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,JohnH Pray, pray for old Pivnick Tech We're gonna get it right in the neck! Send the sound of Taps on high as our whole team lays down to die! What though the odds be great or small, old Pivnick Tech will fumble the ball while our undergrads get sick and transfer to USC. |
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02 Apr 20 - 11:19 PM (#4043717) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,Alleyshop Once upon a midnight causious While I pondered weak and nauseous Over advertising copy I had wrote for Macy's store As I nodded nearly napping Suddenly there came a yapping As if someone softly yapping Yapping at my office door This some visitor, I muttered Yapping at my office door Only this and nothing more |
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06 Apr 20 - 02:49 PM (#4044475) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: Donuel Make my grave in the Trump Hotel, Not a lowly plain, or a lofty hill; Put it at the end of the escaltor, On the doorstep of the great imitator . Engrave Trump lies around my grave. Like Arlington make sure that I stay His shadow above my silent tomb Would make it a place of fear & gloom. I could rest in the noise of Fifth Avenue On my birthday you can have free barbecue. Try to manage a shriek of wild despair Like a million curses in NYC air. I could not sleep if Trump went free His dieing in prison is reason for glee Such a cruel narcissist unfeeling beast should be punished for his hateful beliefs. Let my grave in the Trump Hotel help remind how the US was fired, attacked by virus and died One day Trump hotels will be demolished. Maybe men like Trump will be abolished I ask no monument, proud and high, To arrest the gaze of the passers-by; All that my yearning spirit craves, Is bury me not in a land depraved. |
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14 Apr 20 - 10:43 PM (#4046160) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST Has anyone got "By the time i reach the kleenex. based on 'by the time i get to phoenix?. |
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17 Apr 20 - 09:58 PM (#4046738) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST Who did |
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19 Apr 20 - 03:36 PM (#4047076) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,.gargoyle Mort Drucker died last week in New York at the age of 91. As a cartoonist he did over 260 of the televison and TV parodies. Sincerely, Gargoyle Time to go buy a copy. |
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19 Apr 20 - 03:41 PM (#4047077) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,.gargoyle Yipes, forgot the obit. Obit NY Times Drucker |
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19 Apr 20 - 07:28 PM (#4047112) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,Brice I (something) a minute too late - maimed. I cross the street and what is my fate? - Maimed I'm always in the middle whenever there's a riot that's inflamed. They make a mess galore of me, They make a field of war of me, Each day there's something more of me maimed. |
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21 Apr 20 - 07:38 PM (#4047526) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: Donuel Here is one in the spirit of Mad. |
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01 Jul 20 - 05:46 PM (#4062341) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: haddocker I'm assuming you're a Marine. |
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06 Jul 20 - 03:01 PM (#4063111) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,Mark Loundy Sung to the tube of The Caisson Song (Over Hill, Over Dale...) Over booze, over beer (can't remember) As the barflies go yapping along Football facts, baseball lore We remember every score As the barflies go yapping along For it's "Hie hie hee!" when some rummies disagree Shout out your answer loud and strong ("Says you!") For we will prove our point, while we're busting up the joint As the barflies go yapping along |
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14 Aug 20 - 07:14 AM (#4068329) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,David H Watson I can remember some of the rest of My Blue Shelter: (ref 04 Sep 08 - 01:30 PM) Just a hole in the floor A six inch thick lead door ... Will lead you to my Blue Shelter (another verse) You'll see a smiling face without a trace of coming doom A little nest nestled where the H-bombs boom Just Maggie(?) and me Let's see that makes three We're happy in my blue shelter |
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21 Aug 20 - 12:37 PM (#4069076) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,Justin So happy I found this thread! Read through all 10 years of it! The idea to look up Mad parodies popped in my head after watching Hello Dolly on TV, and remembered bits of Hello Deli. Lo and behold, I found it here. Does anyone remember one about geetting high or drunk that was sung to Skip To My Lou? It went something like, Sniff, sniff, go sniff some glue You'll take off like a DC2... There was something about Schlitz brew at the end too. |
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21 Sep 20 - 12:34 AM (#4072630) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies -- Melvin, Norman and Fr From: GUEST,Bob Rabinoff Justin -- I seem to remember a line like: "We have come to search for a city dump Where a thousand rats run free." My late lady got me a DVD of the 1st 50 years of MAD, so I'll see what I can find. Bob |
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10 Oct 20 - 09:36 PM (#4075090) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,Gardog Re: Alcatraz, I remember a few more lines. Alcatraz is calling! Hear it shout through the gloom. Your own special cell. Your own racketeers. Living together for 99 years! |
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03 Nov 20 - 11:49 AM (#4078084) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,Joe (sung to the tune of "Maria" from West Side Story) Amoeba! They call this grey blob an Amoeba! It only has one cell, and yet it does quit well, it's true. Amoeba! Just look at the crazy Amoeba! Contentedly it sits, then suddenly it splits in two -- Amoeba! It's dividing again into four cells, And these four cells will split into more cells. Amoeba! Therer's nothing quit like the Amoeba! |
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03 Nov 20 - 11:58 AM (#4078085) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,Joe (sung to the tune of Frere Jacques) Bad bad matches, bad bad matches, I touched you. I touched you. You mad quite a fire, there goes brother Meyer, Toodle-oo! Toodle-oo! |
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03 Nov 20 - 12:18 PM (#4078090) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,Joe The "Blowin' in the Wind" parody went something like this: How many times must a man spray with Ban Before he doesn't offend? Yes, and how many times must he gargle each day Before he can talk to a friend? Yes, and how many tubes of shampoo must he buy Before his dandruff will end? The sponsors my friend, will sell you all they can. The sponsors will sell you all they can. How many times must a man use Gilette Before shaving won't make him bleed? Yes, and how many cartons of Kents must he smoke Before the girls all pay him heed? Yes and how many products must one person buy Before he'll have all that he'll need? The sponsors my friend, will sell you all they can. The sponsors will sell you all they can. How many times must a gal clean her sink Before Ajax scours out that stain? Yes and how many times must she rub in Ben-Gay Before she can rub out the pain? Yes and how many ads on TV must we watch Before we are driven insane? The sponsors my friend, will broadcast all they can. The sponsors will broadcast all they can. |
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03 Nov 20 - 12:24 PM (#4078091) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,Joe Paul Revere's famous ride (sung to the tune of "You Better Watch Out") Oh, you better watch out Before it's too late, You better beware I'm tellin' you straight -- British troops are coming to town. They're wearin' white wigs, They're wearin' red coats, You better lie low And burn all your notes -- British troops are coming to town. Just watch that old church steeple, That's my advice to you. If it's by land you'll see one light, If by sea then you'll see two. Oh, they've got a big list Of folks to be shot, Depending if they are Loyal or not -- British troops are coming to town! |
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03 Nov 20 - 12:49 PM (#4078102) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,Joe When I was teen and seven -- by A.E. Houseboat When I was teen and seven, I heard a salesman say: "Give me your dimes and your dollars, And I'll give this Nash away." "Give me your watch and your keychain, Then climb behind the wheel." Well being teen and seven, I quickly closed the deal. When I was teen and seven, I heard him say again, "Trade that wreck for an Edsel! Gain status among men!" "Give me your Nash and fifty, For years of driving fun!" Well I'm still but teen and seven, And the Edsel's ceased to run. |
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03 Nov 20 - 12:56 PM (#4078104) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,Joe Here is most of Frosty Reflections on a Snowy Evening -- by Robert Frostbite (a couple lines or so are missing near the end) Whose Buick's this? How should we know? The keys are there, Hop in, let's go! We hear the village cops below, They're closing in, So leave us blow. The night is dark, The hour is late -- So speed right past that turnpike gate! They may jot down the license plate, But what care we? It's not our crate! This heap's got pick-up, man alive1 Cruises at ninety-five! Power ash trays, all that jive! ???? But we've a zig-zag course to keep To shake the cops before we sleep. To shake the cops before we sleep. |
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09 Nov 20 - 01:12 PM (#4078926) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST song of hiawatha |
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07 Dec 20 - 02:19 PM (#4082274) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,Ganfo The last lines of "I Wandered Lonely as a Clod" Now oft, when on the couch I lie The Doctor asks me what I see. They flash upon my inward eye And then I laugh in Fiendish glee. I find my solace then in bottles and I forget them axolotls. |
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14 Jan 21 - 03:21 PM (#4087961) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST I remember I remember the house where I was born. The little bathroom down the hall where 19 raced each morn. My 13 brothers hated me; my sisters felt the same. Mom never called me up to eat; she didn't know my name. I remember I remember the joys my schoolhouse gave; How I came late to second grade because I had to shave. I think that I shall ne'er forget a girl named Emmy Lou. I carried home her books from school - her boyfriend told me to. I remember I remember the walls so pale and white That turned a vivid bloody red when mom and dad would fight. I learned about the birds and bees when I was ten and three, But I was so confused I thought that I should wed a bee. I remember I remember all kinds of boyhood things. How glad I am these memories can launch my heart on wings. They bring much pleasure to my life; they give me quite a kick. They also help my analyst to find out why I'm sick! |
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25 Jan 21 - 04:46 PM (#4089887) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,guest New, new my heart is new Straight from a man in Kalamazoo New, new my heart is new It's guaranteed till '72 Late last year when I went insane I went shopping for a slightly used brain. New, new my lungs are new They were so cheap I coulda bought two New, new my spleen is new So are my kidneys, may pancreas too. (Not sure of all of the wording but this is what I remember). Line 3 is probably wrong, and I don't know the order |
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25 Jan 21 - 04:54 PM (#4089890) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,joho For poisonous smog shrouded skies, insectcided grain; For strip mined mountains majesty above the asphalt plain America, America, man sheds his waste in the And hides the pines with highway signs From sea to oily sea. |
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05 Feb 21 - 05:26 AM (#4091562) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,Logicat I've been looking for a parody I remember of Oh Captain! My Captain! titled Oh TV! My TV! |
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14 Feb 21 - 08:34 PM (#4093219) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,Franco I remember some of the words to this one, but can't remember which song was being parodied... There's a brand new dye on my favorite tie. I got it when I ate Hot Pizza! There's a glob of goo on my new suede shoe. I got it when I ate Hot Pizza! Each time that I eat it I am dripping mozzarella. I need an umbrella. Sloppy fella! It was from the same issue as "Chopped Liver". Can anyone fill it in? Many thanks! |
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26 Apr 21 - 12:35 PM (#4103589) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,GUEST.Joe The chemical elements and their symbols, sung to the tune of "Do-Re-Mi" "O" -- the sign for Oxygen, "Ra" -- that's Radium so rare--- "T" -- is Tin for making cans, "As" -- that's Arsenic beware! "F" -- for Fluorine that we drink, "N" -- for Neon lights that glow -- "S" -- is Sulfur what a stink! -- Which brings us back to O - O - O - O |
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26 Apr 21 - 12:40 PM (#4103590) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,GUEST.Joe A tribute to Edgar Allen Poe (sung to the tune of "There's No Business Like Show Business") There's no stories like Poe stories like no stories we know, If you like a tale that is appalling, If you like to murmur, shriek, and cry, If you like a tale with bodies falling, and spirits calling, Then Poe's your guy! There's no people like Poe people, they all fill us with woe, If you like a tale that's filled with death galore, And spirits tapping upon your door, And some crazy raven shouting "Nevermore", There's no writer like Poe! |
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24 May 21 - 12:05 PM (#4107385) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,Blueglass And this was The Gardener's lament sung to the Marine Corps hymn " from the ants in our petunia bed to the crabgrass on our lawn we will fight them off with chemicals kill the bugs and weeds are gone we'll use courts and courts of poison spray and we won't stop till we're through all the bugs and weeds are dying now but the plants and trees are too" |
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09 Jun 21 - 03:03 PM (#4109491) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: The Og To Suzanne from Australia... IN PRAISE OF STEPHEN KING (C) My take on a 19 January 2016 "Mudcat Cafe" post, by Suzanne from Australia, of an item that had appeared earlier in a MAD Magazine from the 1960s; tune = "There's No Business Like Show Business" C Am C Am I sing glories to King stories they bring disquieting, G C Most of them are filled with untold terror, G C Don't be in error, I do not lie. G Am D If you like your stories full of evil, with much upheaval, G I'll clari-fy. C Am C F There's no villains like King villains, maybe living next door. Am G C A If you think that demons are just everywhere, D G C A With vampires lurking…in midair, Dm G C A Then maybe you're just waiting for a King-sized scare. Dm G C Just stop at your local bookstore. |
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12 Jun 21 - 08:39 AM (#4109811) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST The one about cigarettes: To an ulcer, it's a shot of booze to a weak heart, it's some shocking news, to a deep cut, it could be gangrene, to a smoker, nicotine. To a sheriff, it's a top gun shot, to a rustler, it's a hangman's knot, to a cowboy, it's a wild stampede, to a smoker, it's a weed. To a bigot, it's a Jew next door, to a klansman, it's a guy from CORE,' ?? I think the lines after 'guy from CORE' are: To a Bircher, it's a Commie nut. To a smoker, it's a butt! And either at the beginning or end, there was the 'slogan': Misery is the taste of death! Misery is the taste of death! |
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12 Jun 21 - 08:51 AM (#4109815) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST There was 'The Land that Sam Built' parodying 'The House that Jack Built': Final verse: This is the land, built on a dream, That worshipped the buck that reigns supreme, That built the Mob, that still goes free, That paid the pusher, who copped a plea, Who hooked the junkie on the fly, Who robbed the store with prices high, That milked the poor in all their need, Who hated the man so full of greed, Who owned the slum That housed the filth That bred the rat That bit the child Who lived in the land that Sam built. And, to the tune of 'Good King Wenceslas' of course: Good King Wenceslas looked down On the Earth this season. Saw five million lacking food. Asked what was the reason. 'Do not worry', he was told. 'If there's some starvation, It's our way of keeping down Overpopulation!' Good King Wenceslas looked down On a field of battle. Saw a hundred people there Being killed like cattle. 'Do not worry', he was told From the field of rubble. 'We have found that Army life Keeps boys out of trouble!' Then a bit that I don't remember; and then it concludes with Wenceslas reporting to Jesus: 'Earth is such an awful place, Only fit for slumming. If You're smart, You'll drop all plans For the Second Coming!' |
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02 Jul 21 - 10:56 AM (#4112113) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,malbuff Robyn said, many many years ago: "The publishing group hoped to establish a legal precedent that only a song's composers retained the right to parody that song." Regarding this landmark legal decision, a quote from the judge's opinion can't be forgotten: "Irving Berlin does not own iambic pentameter!" |
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08 Aug 21 - 12:12 AM (#4115782) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,fred1369 I had that memorized way back then. |
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13 Sep 21 - 06:59 PM (#4119881) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,chris0s Once upon a weeknight dreary While I stared with vision bleary At the Zenith TV that I bought on time from Gimbel's store Suddenly I was discerning That some shows were not returning Shows I'd seen just weeks before Whereupon I said, "Dear Rating, I have sat here, watching waiting For those splendid prime time programs that premiered in weeks of yore Though I've twisted knob and dial I don't see Jean Arthur's smile Will she get another trial? Will she come back with a roar? Tell me please, O wondrous Rating That she'll come back with a roar!" Quoth the Rating: "Nevermore." ... |
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14 Sep 21 - 07:06 AM (#4119933) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: Donuel Sexual Healing Song by Marvin Gaye Lyrics Oh, baby let's take it down tonight (ba-ba-ba, bum) Ooh baby, I'm hot just like an oven (steal me some money, give me some money) I need some 'cold cash' And baby, I can't hold it much longer (steal me some money, give me some money) It's getting stronger and stronger When I get that feeling I want a debt ceiling A big debt ceiling, oh baby Makes me feel so fine Helps to relieve my mind A big debt ceiling baby, is good for me A big debt ceiling is something that's good for me Whenever blue teardrops are fallin' And my emotional stability is leaving me There is something I can do I can get on the telephone and just lobby the, Congress And Congress I know you'll be there to relieve me The love you give to me will free me If you don't know the thing you're dealing Oh I can tell you, Congress, that it's a big debt ceiling Let's all vote tonight (Wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up) 'Cause you got some work Baby, I got sick this mornin' (please give me money, please give me money) A sea was stormin' inside of me Congress, I think I'm capsizin'(steal me some money, give me some money) The debt is risin' and risin' And when I get that feeling I want a big debt ceiling A big debt ceiling is good for me Makes me feel so fine, it's such a rush Helps to relieve the mind, and it's good for us Don't shut down the government it's bad for me Don't shut down the government that's bad for us God, it's bad for me and it's so bad for the country, oh Come take control, just grab a hold Of my body and mind, soon we'll be making more money I'll be feeling fine You're my medicine, open up and let me in Darling, you're so great, I can't wait for you to operate (pay the debt ceiling) (pay the debt ceiling) I can't wait for you to operate When I get this feeling (steal me more money) I need a debt ceiling Oh, when I get this feeling (give me more money) I need a big debt ceiling I gotta have a big debt ceiling, Congress (please pay our bills) 'Cause I'm all alone I need a big debt ceiling, Congress (heal me my darling) 'Til you come back home (heal me my darling) Please don't procrastinate It's not good to masturbate Source: LyricFind Songwriters: David Ritz / Marvin Gaye / Odell Brown / donuel |
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09 Oct 21 - 02:03 PM (#4122432) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: Donuel Shortages, supply chains, and manufactured hate = this feels like a challenging upcoming Christmas. Trump nuts boasting that they opened fire Proud boys wearing battle clothes Big lie theories being sung by a choir And folks fighting as in puppet shows Everybody knows Fox News sees a war that grows will help to make their season right Tiny tots with their eyes all aglow Will find it hard to sleep tonight They know that Trump's on his way He's loaded lots of guns and cronies on his sleigh And every mother's child is gonna sigh that a war is worse than getting high So, I'm offering this simple phrase To kids from one to ninety-five Although it's been said many times, many ways We feel sorry for you. You did not start this stupid hate You don't deserve this hateful fate And while your folks might even kill We know that it was never your wish or will. Trump nuts boasting that they opened fire Proud boys wearing battle clothes Big lie theories being sung by a choir And folks fighting as in puppet shows And so, I'm offering this simple phrase To kids from one to four or five Although it's been said, many times, by default We are sorry, We are sorry This was never, your fault |
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15 Dec 21 - 05:56 AM (#4128960) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,David Modern rhymes for your childhood. From a Mad magazine article from the 1970s When I was going down the stair I met a man who wasn't there. He wasn't there again today I think he's from the CIA |
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15 Dec 21 - 08:35 PM (#4129038) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: BrooklynJay Not sure if this was posted before, but... Chopped Liver (sung to Moon River) Chopped liver... onions on the side, My social life has dried From you. My friends shun me, they outrun me, The smell of your breath is slow death, Sad but true. Your odor's... twice as bad as beer And people who drink beer Agree. I know that your smell will not end, Always I'll offend, My halitosis friend, Chopped liver... And me. And speaking of Stephen Sondheim (were we?), I can only remember a fragment of the MAD parody of Tonight that they called In Flight. This is the last part. Can anyone supply the rest? In flight! Those headwinds we are bucking And soon I am upchucking, Oh what a sorry sight! I'm white with fright From trying to hold down Ev'ry bite, In flight! |
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04 Jan 22 - 01:09 AM (#4130918) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,Guest Re-created from memory and constant recitation Casey at the Talks It looked extremely rocky for that famous Mudville nine, the season was upon them but the outfield wouldn’t sign. And when Fenwick turned free agent and Moran went into flicks, the ownership their heads and moaned we’re in a dreadful fix They scanned their ledgers gloomily without a hint of cheer the falling season ticket sales foretold a losing year. They clung to one small distant hope, an optimistic’s dream, the fans would pack the stands with mighty Casey on the team. For Casey was a superstar that any club would prize, who last year led the league in hits, home runs, and RBIs. For months the phone calls made to him were scornfully declined, a God, he was unreachable, and what was worse unsigned. Then from an outer corridor there rose a mighty shout, it rattled the reception desk, it shook the walls throughout, it rumble down the hallway in one tremendous roar, for Casey, mighty Casey was advancing through the door. There was ease in Casey’s Manor there was Grace in Casey’s style as he touched each owner‘s hand and gave a patronizing smile. He brought with him six solemn men, their faces grim and grave, three lawyers two accountants and his business agent Dave. The owners lauded Casey’s clothes, extolled his wavy hair, they kissed the leather of his shoes and knelt beside his chair, they laid before him fruits and wine and then a full course meal, but Casey merely raise his hand and murmured what’s your deal? “One million bucks is yours” they said “for playing out the year, plus ten percent of grandstand sales of hotdogs cokes and beer”. “When on the road we’ll line up broads of whom you’ll have your choice, plus shares of stocks, a butler, and a custom built Rolls-Royce”. The smile is gone from Casey’s lips his countenance is stern, he grips his chair with knuckles white and gives his head a turn, and now he cocks an eyebrow at his agent standing by, and now the air is shattered by the words of his reply. Oh somewhere in this favored land there is a happy town where management has signed a star Who’ll win the Triple Crown. And somewhere fans all stand to cheer a bases loaded clout… But there’s no joy in Mudville, mighty Casey has held out. |
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23 Jan 22 - 11:48 AM (#4133455) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: Donuel I'm singin' in Ukrain, just singin' in Ukraine What a glorious feeling It's Crimea again. I'm laughing at smoke, so dark afar The sun's in my heart and I'm ready for war Let the deadly smoke chase, everyone from the place Come on with the tanks, I've got troops on my flanks. I'll walk down the trench with a gun in my clench And clingin' just clingin' to Ukraine Why am I smilin' and why do I cling? Why does February seem sunny as Spring? Why do I get up each morning to start shooting And get up with mud in my gun? Why is each new attack, so much damn fun? cause I am living a life of Russain troops. I'm clingin' to Ukraine, just clingin' to Ukraine What a glorious feeling we're Russain again. I'm laughing at smoke so dark above The sun's in the sky and I'm ready to die. Let the deadly smoke chase, everyone from the place. Come on with the ice, I've a smile on my face I'll walk down the lane with a happy refrain And clingin' just clingin' to Ukraine |
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25 Aug 22 - 11:25 AM (#4150998) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,Harryoo00 searching for a parody of Joyce Kilmer's Trees: trees that are painted white / are often hit by cars at night |
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25 Aug 22 - 12:15 PM (#4151001) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: The Og Seems I saw this in an OLD Mad... I think that I shall never hear A poem lovelier than beer. The stuff that Joe's Bar has on tap, With golden base and snowy cap. The stuff that I can drink all day Until my mem'ry melts away. Poems are made by fools, I fear But only Schlitz can make a beer. |
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04 Feb 23 - 12:50 PM (#4164425) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,B I leave the house one minute too late - maimed I cross the street, and what is my fate? Maimed. I'm always in the middle whenever there's a riot that's inflamed |
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13 Aug 23 - 10:43 PM (#4179132) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,Karl I think that I shall never see A sight more disgusting than a tree A tree that takes up so much space Where cheesebox homes could stand in place A tree that looks at God all day When my god is the FHA |
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01 Jan 24 - 12:51 AM (#4194587) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,Alexander Here’s part of "Watchdog in the Night"; When those burglars came, you didn’t mind them, they were after loot, you helped them find them, diamond rings and pearls you quickly led them to, Watchdog in the night, you stupid beagle you were Watchdog in the night… Can’t remember the rest. ??????? |
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05 Jan 24 - 05:45 PM (#4194956) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: PHJim I got this one from the Prairie Home Companion Songbook, but I believe it originated in Mad Magazine. I've been singing it every Christmas for the past 35 or 40 years. "May his bark be worse than his BLIGHT" White Sheepdog G / Am / |D7 / / / | [G] I'm [C] scream[G]ing [Gb] at [G] a [Am] white [D7] sheepdog,[C#] [C] One who is [Am] sitting [D7] on my [G] chair. [Am] [D7] It's a [G] thing I'm [G7] dreading, The [C] way he's [Cm7] shedding, And [G] covering [Em] everything with [Am] hair. [D7] [G] I'm [C] scream[G]ing [Gb] at [G] a [Am] white [D7] sheepdog,[C#} [C] And should he [Am] visit [D7] you some [G] night, [Am] [D7] May his [G] bark be [G7] worse than his [C] blight, [Cm7] And may [G] all [Em] your [Am] furni[D7]ture be [G] white. [Am] [D7] |
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08 Jan 24 - 09:14 AM (#4195110) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST Tune: "Jesus Loves Me". (Use the name of your favorite Soviet/Russian leader) Khrushchev loves me this I know For the Kremlin tells me so Little ones who love him not All lined up against the wall and shot. Yes - Khrushchev loves me Yes - Khrushchev loves me Yes - Khrushchev loves me The Kremlin tells me so. |
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15 Jan 24 - 01:23 AM (#4195459) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,Bruce Iglauer I remember some of it Give me some men who are post office men Who look grand when they hand out the mail Men who will go thru the rain through the snow Thru the sleet through the slush through the hail Oh, doorway to doorway It's my way it's your way We work never shirk never fail When post office finish up their beat Then post office men Can go home and soak their feat. |
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05 Apr 24 - 03:14 PM (#4200465) Subject: RE: Mad Magazine parodies From: GUEST,PW90277 MG -- You'r exterior finish, though slightly diminished, is the best I ever have seen! |