we'll have Nunavit - BS

11 Jun 99 - 01:45 PM (#85913)
Subject: we'll have Nunavit - BS
From: Sheye

So the good ol' boys found a name for our newly lined out geographical area. Crayola got the contract. It's in a lovely shade of washable crimson.

Story I heard was that the residents were asked to vote on their new name and the majority would decide. ...'Cept my fellow Canadians (I just LOVE this) overwhelmingly voted to call the new territory "Bob". SO... the government protected us... (they claim all rights to the sacred cow of public embarrassment and ridicule) and stepped in to save us from ourselves.

Curious to know what the rest of the globe thinks of the name, which I am told, I am not pronouncing properly.

Anybody out here a resident of Bob?

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11 Jun 99 - 02:28 PM (#85931)
Subject: RE: we'll have Nunavit - BS
From: MMario

?? what? maybe a little more explanation for those of us outside the borders of "Bob"?

MMario - who gets no papers, news programs etc, so gets virtually all his news through mudcat.

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11 Jun 99 - 02:49 PM (#85937)
Subject: RE: we'll have Nunavit - BS
From: Peter T.

(Sound of tinkly piano and icebergs cracking. Pontoon plane revving up in the distance.)
RICK (Fielding in his old Thunder Bay duds, slight lisp, low fedora, pulls slug out of mouth): "We'll always have Nunavit. We'd lost it, until you came to Tuktoyuktuk."
ILSA (Sheye around the edges): "And I said I would never leave you, or Sam, or the huskies."
RICK (pulls out blubberized guitar, strikes approaching polar bear with it in F#): "And you never will. But I've got a job to do too, Ilsa, and where I'm going you can't follow. Look ,Ilsa, you're part of the tundra, part of what makes it keep going, part of its endless barrenness and nothingness. If you aren't on that plane when it takes off, it might not make it off the runway, because it is way too overloaded with booze crates; but you'll still regret it, maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but soon, and certainly when winter comes. (Bob de Vere approaches). Here's looking at you, kid."
(Rick chucks Ilsa under the chin, she roundhouses him with a left, and gets on the aircraft with Bob. The polar bear awakes).
RICK: "Well, I guess its just you and me."
PB: "Know any Freddy Mercury songs?"
Rick looks more closely. Polar bear removes polar bear costume, revealing Duckboots in Duckboots, holding groundhog trap)
RICK: "You know, Duckboots, this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship."
They lope off together to the sounds of the Canadian national anthem. The AIR NUNAVIT plane hits the end of the runway and fireballs. Snow falls. Curtain falls. Churchill Falls.
THE END
Yours, Peter T.

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11 Jun 99 - 03:11 PM (#85944)
Subject: RE: we'll have Nunavit - BS
From: katlaughing

BRAVO!!!!! ENCORE!ENCORE!!!!

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11 Jun 99 - 03:32 PM (#85948)
Subject: RE: we'll have Nunavit - BS
From: Dave Swan

Author, author

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11 Jun 99 - 03:39 PM (#85953)
Subject: RE: we'll have Nunavit - BS
From: Rick Fielding

Dammit Dave, couldn't you have gotten in 2 minutes sooner?

All the ducks and the geese are gone,

So all that's left is David Swan.

Penguins galore and one lone tit

I'm a gettin' out of Nunavit!

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11 Jun 99 - 03:47 PM (#85956)
Subject: RE: we'll have Nunavit - BS
From: The Shambles

"And I thought you were SO butch".

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11 Jun 99 - 03:52 PM (#85959)
Subject: RE: we'll have Nunavit - BS
From: LEJ

If there's Nunavit in Canada, is there Anyuvit in the States? Does England have Abitovit? Australia has Plentiuvit, no doubt...obviously, I could go on. Mercifully, I won't.

LEJ

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11 Jun 99 - 03:56 PM (#85962)
Subject: RE: we'll have Nunavit - BS
From: Sheye

WOW!!!

Bravo!

So, Mario, bet that clears it up, eh?

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11 Jun 99 - 03:58 PM (#85964)
Subject: RE: we'll have Nunavit - BS
From: Dave Swan

Rick, I'm at work, paralytic with laughter, trying to explain to my crew what's so damn funny. They're breaking out the canvas blazer with the long sleeves and buckles in back.

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11 Jun 99 - 04:01 PM (#85966)
Subject: RE: we'll have Nunavit - BS
From: Roger in Baltimore

Look, guys and gals. I'm going away for the weekend. Plan to see Leon Redbone in concert. Could you all get this straightened out before I return? What the hell is Nunavit? Obviously it is Canadian and there is no sex or violence involved so the papers in the US of A have ignored it. Perhaps Rick or some other Canadian will stop laughing long enough to let us know.

Big RiB

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11 Jun 99 - 04:04 PM (#85967)
Subject: RE: we'll have Nunavit - BS
From: MMario

I managed a search between system crashes and phone calls. got some idea, it's as clear as mudcats. Seriously, why would ANYONE do ANYTHING official on April 1 they didn't absolutely have to?

I'm still trying to figure out the "washable crimson" line though.

MMario - easily confused

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11 Jun 99 - 04:39 PM (#85970)
Subject: RE: we'll have Nunavit - BS
From: Rick Fielding

Roger, if you're lucky enough to be going to see Leon, why should you give a darn about some frozen piece of ice in Canada's far north? Just think of it as "Alaska light" and be glad it's not the 52nd state.
Mose Scarlett was just over for a visit in between tours of Great Britain. Say hello to Leon from him. They're great buddies.
Dave, Where do you work? Do your co-workers know you're a mudcatter? Go to the "Are the Corries Lesbians" thread, and then let some of your buddies check out the screen. Your life will never be the same!
Sham, is that a Quebequois in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me?
Lonesome, keep this up and you'll be Fullavit.

The Earl of Derby, "hatmaker to Royalty", and the true author of the plays of Tennessee Williams.

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11 Jun 99 - 05:17 PM (#85986)
Subject: RE: we'll have Nunavit - BS
From: Peter T.

SEAGOON: "Hello, My name is Neddy Seagoon."
MAJOR BLOODNOCK: "Gad, what a memory!"
Yours, Peter T.

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11 Jun 99 - 05:53 PM (#85995)
Subject: RE: we'll have Nunavit - BS
From: Dave Swan

Rick, Thanks for the advice on the Corries thread. With friends like you...

At work I am able to maintain the ruse that Mudcat is strictly an exchange of folk music information and advice. Of academic interest, you see. I've got to keep it looking fairly straight as I am a uniformed public servant.

Somewhere along the way the city screwed up and made me one of the loonies in charge at the fire department. It's a great gig and not a bad rehearsal space after business hours. So there's my secret. I gets cats out of trees, three shows a week and a weekend matinee.

From where the wet stuff meets the red stuff, I am yr hmble obd't, Dave

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11 Jun 99 - 06:09 PM (#86000)
Subject: RE: we'll have Nunavit - BS
From: Sheye

hear ye, hear ye, must bare my soul and confess a dastardly deed:

the line about 'Bob' belongs to my sweetee... stolen along with his shirts and an excellent stash of chocolate. Forgive me, I beg you!

I think I'll go find that Corrie thread now.

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11 Jun 99 - 06:54 PM (#86008)
Subject: RE: we'll have Nunavit - BS
From: Rick Fielding

Sheye, the only topic that hasn't been discussed around here is "stashes". Oops, I'm afraid my "sixties" is showing.
Dave, what country are you in? Don't worry, I won't follow you home.
Peter T. do you play the saxaphone?

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11 Jun 99 - 06:59 PM (#86012)
Subject: RE: we'll have Nunavit - BS
From: catspaw49

I don't get to see Leon, but I do feel like the Big RiB.......can y'all help us out here?

catspaw

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11 Jun 99 - 07:25 PM (#86019)
Subject: RE: we'll have Nunavit - BS
From: Dave Swan

Rick, 37:48:16 North, 122:16:11 West. Dave

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11 Jun 99 - 07:29 PM (#86023)
Subject: RE: we'll have Nunavit - BS
From: Rick Fielding

Ok! Cute Dave! Any Mudcatters who aren't grade 10 drop outs like your's truly, know if that's Ruritania or not?

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11 Jun 99 - 07:41 PM (#86026)
Subject: RE: we'll have Nunavit - BS
From: Dave Swan

Rick,You do make me laugh out loud. I'm in the San Francisco Bay area, a fourth generation Californian hoping to become a naturalized citizen of Nunavit. A Nunavitian? Nunavitter? A Nunavittite !

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11 Jun 99 - 07:45 PM (#86028)
Subject: RE: we'll have Nunavit - BS
From: Rick Fielding

Thanks Dave. I'm so glad you got back before I had to put up with further insults from Catspaw. Heather is calling from the garden, wanting me to lift a bunch of 50 lb rocks, so I guess she found out where I was hiding!
Rick

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11 Jun 99 - 07:50 PM (#86030)
Subject: RE: we'll have Nunavit - BS
From: bert

After reading all this I think I need my nunavitamins
Bert

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11 Jun 99 - 08:00 PM (#86043)
Subject: RE: we'll have Nunavit - BS
From: Den

Peter did'nt we serve together in the British Restaurant I was on the afters but I deserted but we shouldn't argue over triffles.

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14 Jun 99 - 09:37 AM (#86543)
Subject: RE: we'll have Nunavit - BS
From: Peter T.

Dear Rick, No I don't play the saxophone or anything else, except guitar (and the less said about that the better) and what I forgot on the piano. My musical life has been completely, hideously wasted!
Yours, Peter T.

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14 Jun 99 - 10:19 AM (#86550)
Subject: RE: we'll have Nunavit - BS
From: Roger the zimmer

If the powers that be though "Bob" or any of the other alternatives too frivolous, they must have been the stereotypical humourless grey men in suits if they didn't spot the potential for humour in "Nunavit". Fortunately for us...
Where did I se a rumour that Leon Redbone was really Frank Zappa...?
Roger (also usually fulavit)

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14 Jun 99 - 10:42 AM (#86554)
Subject: RE: we'll have Nunavit - BS
From: Bert

Den, "British Restaurant" Gawd! that's going back a while ain't it?

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14 Jun 99 - 05:44 PM (#86665)
Subject: RE: we'll have Nunavit - BS
From: Roger in Baltimore

Well, it is obvious no one on this particular thread is able to accept direction. Three days later it is still seriously absurd. It was bad enough not knowing what Nunavit is/was, but the nonsequitors follow one after another (is that an oxymoron?).

If my memory serves me well, Frank Zappa passed away in the last year or so. They note such things in Baltimore as he lived here during his pre-teen years. If that is the case, then Leon Redbone is not Frank Zappa for Leon is clearly alive and touring. He has a back-up piano player and clarinetist as well. I missed the spark I remember from the early 70's when his music was quite new to me. Leon only in a key other than C about twice all night. He has developed a comedic part to his act that left Marge and I both cold. Music was OK, but I wouldn't go back again. I did enjoy the magician/comedian that opened for Leon, however.

I ask again, will anyone explain Nunavit to we poor US citizens?

Big RiB

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14 Jun 99 - 05:53 PM (#86668)
Subject: RE: we'll have Nunavit - BS
From: katlaughing

Big RiB: I am assuming that it is a newly named territory in the far reaches of Canada, so named for or by one of the Inuit or some other tribe of indigenous people; perhaps a reclaiming of some of their heritage?

I did a search on a couple of news spots but found nothing, not even in reuters.

katlaughing and guessing

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14 Jun 99 - 06:20 PM (#86676)
Subject: RE: we'll have Nunavit - BS
From: catspaw49

Hiya RiB and Kat..............methinks this may have to do with a radio show in Canada similar to a Dr. DeMentia kind of thing or Fireside Theatre. They're all having a helluva' good time so I'm going to leave them to it...after all...........................

catspaw

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14 Jun 99 - 07:25 PM (#86701)
Subject: RE: we'll have Nunavit - BS
From: Jeri

looky here
http://www.nunavut.com/home.html

I love the banner up at the top, what sez "Fish Quotas Raise Stink"

(Try searching for "Nunavut." I used AltaVista, spelled the name as it is in the thread title, and still got a bunch of hits.)

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14 Jun 99 - 08:44 PM (#86725)
Subject: RE: we'll have Nunavit - BS
From: Jack Hickman - Kingston, ON

I can't believe that in the midst of all that corny humour, no one saw fit to explain what Nunavit is. It was created on April 1 last, by dividing a goodly part of the Northwest Territories and a small part of the Yukon Territory, and becoming Canada's third Arctic Territory. The inhabitants are primarily Inuit (formerly improperly known as Eskimo) and the languages of government are Inuit, English and French

That's the best I can do without a whole bunch of research, but at least it will give you an idea.

Jack Hickman

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14 Jun 99 - 10:02 PM (#86745)
Subject: RE: we'll have Nunavit - BS
From: Roger in Baltimore

Katl, Jeri, and Jack

Thanks for the introduction of some sanity. I can now go to bed without such muddled confusion in my mind.

Big RiB

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15 Jun 99 - 04:29 AM (#86786)
Subject: RE: we'll have Nunavit - BS
From: reggie miles

If there's any left I'll have sumavit

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15 Jun 99 - 06:55 AM (#86800)
Subject: RE: we'll have Nunavit - BS
From: Neil Lowe

Peter T.,

You're a creative genius. Loved the send-up...had me laughing out loud, people checking to see what all the ruckus was, finding me here alone staring at a screen, wondering if I had indeed "stepped out over the edge." I think I have.

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15 Jun 99 - 09:08 AM (#86815)
Subject: RE: we'll have Nunavit - BS
From: Lesley N.

Nunavut (pronounced New-na-voot), created April 1, 1999, the captial of which is Iqaluit (eel-kal-a-wheat)- is populated mainly by Inuit (In-neu-eet) (Eskimo being a Cree word meaning "eaters of raw meat" and an insult.)

Human population 22,000
Reindeer population 75,000

A true statistic...

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15 Jun 99 - 09:44 AM (#86820)
Subject: RE: we'll have Nunavit - BS
From: catspaw49

I'm becoming sorry I asked......but, like the Big RiB, I can now rest easier...sorta'. 3 to 1 on the reindeer huh? Yeah.........uh, huh..........................only in Canada.

catspaw

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15 Jun 99 - 10:24 AM (#86830)
Subject: RE: we'll have Nunavit - BS
From: Stirling

25,000 people - budget $1 Billion (even in Canadian pesos, thats a lot of money per person)

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15 Jun 99 - 10:44 AM (#86839)
Subject: RE: we'll have Nunavit - BS
From: Lesley N.

catspaw

The curse of being a historian is that we like NO Question unanswered - no curiosity (that is, intellectual curiosity) unsatisfied.

Which means, of course, that we are often frustrated. So imagine how pleased I was to be able to satisfy your curiosity .

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15 Jun 99 - 05:21 PM (#86968)
Subject: RE: we'll have Nunavit - BS
From: Stirling

Next time we hive off a new territory I suggest we call it

"Therestofit"

Man o man this is a big beautiful country....

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15 Jun 99 - 05:32 PM (#86973)
Subject: RE: we'll have Nunavit - BS
From: Fadac

To me it reads like "None of it". Of course it sounds like my kind of place. I wonder if they need a blond bearded computer weenie.

-Fadac

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15 Jun 99 - 05:40 PM (#86976)
Subject: RE: we'll have Nunavit - BS
From: Stirling

You'd be unique in your field...think of what you could charge per hour

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15 Jun 99 - 05:43 PM (#86977)
Subject: RE: we'll have Nunavit - BS
From: Fadac

Stirling, Have you read Mitchner's "Alaska"? He explained in there how and why things cost so much. For example, a box of nails. About $5.00 US, OK, now ship that box of nails to the nearist big city. ($10.00 shipping to Barrow, Ak.) Now move that box another 250 miles to where you are at. (charter plane $250/hr, X 5 hours round trip.) (or wait for the once a year barge, (Shipping then $10.00 + 9 months from Seattle.)

1 billion sounds like a lot, (and it is), but what is the infastructure worth in your city? roads, sidwalks, power, water, sewer, garbage collection, all the things we take for granted,

That works out to about $40,000/ per person. Heck, we have a shopping center here in San Jose, the dirt under the building is worth that much. It costs more than that to keep someone in jail.

I wonder what percent of the 25,000 will be working for the government?

Fadac

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15 Jun 99 - 07:17 PM (#87000)
Subject: RE: we'll have Nunavit - BS
From: Rick Fielding

Fadac, there's probably a shortage of accordions, you could be out-standing in your field. (better wear mittens though)

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15 Jun 99 - 08:02 PM (#87009)
Subject: RE: we'll have Nunavit - BS
From: Bob Landry

Here's the true facts, folks. Bob might not be the name but he is working there, administering a chunk of that billion Cdn dollars (the equivalent of about $675 million US at current exchange rates).

I got this email over a year ago from a friend who works with Canada's Department of Western Economic Diversification congratulating me on my new position and asking when I was moving. I made a hurried phone call to find out what he was talking about. He dscribed the memo that had been plastered all over his Department's email system. After some questioning, we figured out that another Bob Landry, a financial administrator with that department's Ottawa office had accepted a new position with the then-to-be-created territory of Nunavut and was looking for enough dog sleds to move his stuff up there. I gather Bob made it, all at taxpayer's expense together with the appropriate living allowance while he and his family waited for the dogs to mush on up there over the ice and snow or through the slush, as the case may be. I've seen no news reports of any accountants and/or their furniture lost on the frozen tundra between Ottawa and Iqaluit. Bob now qualifies for the Northern Allowance when filing his Canadian Income Tax Return.

Bob

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16 Jun 99 - 03:41 PM (#87217)
Subject: RE: we'll have Nunavit - BS
From: Stirling

Yep, thats exactly what we need in this country. Another government.

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16 Jun 99 - 04:13 PM (#87223)
Subject: RE: we'll have Nunavit - BS
From: Fadac

Rick, I think they could use a banjo picker too. :o)

Hmmm, lets see, I need to convert the Cessena 182 to a taildragger, 180. Sell the boat, buy fur underwear (fuzzy side in, please.) Learn to BBQ Carabo, or is it Raindeer? How do you BBQ a seal? Perhaps they are too far inland for seals, then artic char (a fish).

Oh boy, just tell the wife, "It's the boy's night out, I'll be back by dawn." The nights are 6 months long.

Accorgion playing with mittens? Hmmm, like picking your nose with boxing gloves.

I think it would be intresting to see it though. I do plan on taking my little birdie to Alaska...Someday. Why not visit Canada too?

-Fadac

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16 Jun 99 - 08:02 PM (#87254)
Subject: RE: we'll have Nunavit - BS
From: WyoWoman

I haven't been this confused since 1968. What a long, strange trip it's been. I would love to live in a province named "Bob" -- I think they should have stuck with that one. Its population sounds much like where Kat and I live -- wild Wyoming, 97,000+ square miles, 450,000 people and precisely 2 bazillion antelope. You'd think we'd eat a lot more of them here, but they're stringy.

KC of the Wild West

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17 Jun 99 - 11:37 AM (#87406)
Subject: RE: we'll have Nunavit - BS
From: Stirling

Try moist heat with the antelope.

If its still to stringy to eat...order the Cherries Jubilee for dessert, then when the waiter lights the brandy knock it over and escape in the flaming confusion.

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