BS: To become a republican

15 Oct 08 - 01:13 PM (#2466442)
Subject: BS: To become a republican
From: kendall

Some time ago this was on the forum but I can't for the life of me find it. Help! I have a right wing friend who just sent me a piece of crap about becoming a democrat.

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15 Oct 08 - 02:38 PM (#2466512)
Subject: RE: BS: To become a republican
From: PoppaGator

Not exactly a timely topic. Very few people who are not already Republicans are flocking to join up these days.

Thankfully.

I assume that what you're looking for is satirical...

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15 Oct 08 - 03:41 PM (#2466565)
Subject: RE: BS: To become a republican
From: katlaughing

There's a funny, interactive thing HERE. There are ten steps listed at the top of each frame as you click through them. Maybe this is an expansion of what you are looking for? I couldn't find anything on Mudcat, either.

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15 Oct 08 - 03:58 PM (#2466582)
Subject: RE: BS: To become a republican
From: Amos

HEre's one such item.

HEre's a related essay by Garrison.



A

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15 Oct 08 - 03:59 PM (#2466583)
Subject: RE: BS: To become a republican
From: SINSULL

Kendall's becoming a Democrat???? What next?

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15 Oct 08 - 04:05 PM (#2466590)
Subject: RE: BS: To become a republican
From: wysiwyg

I thought they outlawed permissionless frontal lobotomies?

~S~

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15 Oct 08 - 05:03 PM (#2466649)
Subject: RE: BS: To become a republican
From: McGrath of Harlow

All depends where you are. Mean's something rather different in England, and something else again in Northern Ireland.

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16 Oct 08 - 08:43 AM (#2467165)
Subject: RE: BS: To become a republican
From: kendall

Rapaire, that is it, thanks. This will irritate my right wing buddy.

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16 Oct 08 - 11:02 PM (#2467926)
Subject: RE: BS: To become a republican
From: The Fooles Troupe

From the thread list -

BS: To become a republican         
BS: Alcohol shrinks your brain

Ah - the answer is obvious - Drink more booze!

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17 Oct 08 - 12:04 PM (#2468325)
Subject: RE: BS: To become a republican
From: Donuel

one must also believe that anyone other than a republican is suffering from various forms of mental illness. Non Republicans are at least 3/5's less human than republicans so to commit violence against one or to even kill one is not murder. ITs more like good hygiene.

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18 Oct 08 - 03:50 PM (#2469326)
Subject: RE: BS: To become a republican
From: Don(Wyziwyg)T

Believe that all men are created equally lower than yourself.

Believe that democracy means the victory of the smartest conman, unless the smartest conman is a democrat, in which case it isn't democracy at all.............I - uh - think.

Don T.

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19 Oct 08 - 01:12 PM (#2470026)
Subject: RE: BS: To become a republican
From: Stringsinger

The bottom line (figuratively and literally) is that Republicanism is for wealthy business meaning corporations. Democrats support the working people. Case closed.

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27 Oct 08 - 08:15 PM (#2477694)
Subject: RE: BS: To become a republican
From: Amos

38 REASONS WHY PEOPLE VOTE REPUBLICAN


1. I'm voting Republican because I want Corporate America to have even more
power over the government than it does now.

2. I'm voting Republican because I love to use roads, bridges, highways,
mass transportation, and satellites for my GPS, without having to pay for
them.

3. I'm voting Republican because I rely on the protection of the police and
the fire department, the court system, the national guard, and our national
military without wanting to pay for them either.


4. I'm voting Republican because I have too much money in my bank to be
protected by the FDIC.

5. I'm voting Republican because I'm super-rich, and I need more tax breaks
to make even more money.

6. I'm voting Republican because I have seven houses, and thirteen cars,
just like the average American does!

7. I'm voting Republican because I complain about people in society
constantly not being able to make my change after ordering a latte, or store
employees not being able to speak English, and I'm not willing to pay to
educate them properly.

8. I'm voting Republican because I believe that the rights of a group of
dividing cells outweighs the rights of the woman carrying those cells, no
matter what.

9. I'm voting Republican because some amendments of the "Bill of Rights"
matter more than others, name the Second amendment.

10. I'm voting Republican because I think CEOs of corporations should make
my health care decisions, based on the profit margin for their company.

11. I'm voting Republican because everyone in America already has health
care, or should pay for it on their own.

12. I'm voting Republican because I want to make sure to dismantle that
pesky wall between church and state; as long as it's a Christian church,
that is.

13. I'm voting Republican because I support illegal wars, based on faulty
intelligence, against countries that didn't attack us first.

14. I'm voting Republican because I believe that voting is only for a
privileged few, and that voting should be controlled by corporations.

15. I'm voting Republican because I believe that the government should be
able to secretly listen to my private phone calls, read my letters, e-mails,
or find out what books I'm checking out of the library, all without
oversight.

16. I'm voting Republican because I believe that only certain people have a
right to habeas corpus in our court system. … again, going to back to those
pesky amendments!

17. I'm voting Republican because I think the Constitution is a dead
document that should only read be in terms of 19th century America;
therefore, I support the return of counting African-Americans as 3/5 of a
person, that women shouldn't vote, and that the loser of our presidential
election should automatically be vice-president.

18. I'm voting Republican because shredding the Constitution in the name of
safety and fear is a great idea.

19. I'm voting Republican because it's okay for America to torture people.

20. I'm voting Republican because I believe building our economy on
liquefied fossils is a smart idea … they will never run out!

21. I'm voting Republican because blowing off the tops of mountains, and
piling the detritus into valleys and streams is a great way to mine for
coal, and we have an endless supply of land.

22. I'm voting Republican because I believe the system of checks and
balances we learned in middle school is a fluke; that there should be one
all-powerful executive branch (unless, of course, the president is a
Democrat, which is why we need corporate-owned voting machines).

23. I'm voting Republican because I want to force my moral standards on
everyone else in the country, especially those of other religions or
beliefs.

24. I'm voting Republican because I believe that government should be
monitoring the private actions of two consenting adults in the privacy of
their own homes.

25. I'm voting Republican because a loving couple should have no business
wanting to make each other's medical decisions, or visit each other in a
hospital, or leave an inheritance to the other when one passes, unless I
approve of the relationship first.

26. I'm voting Republican because the more rich people we have in this
country, the better off we will be.

27. I'm voting Republican because the middle class was only a temporary
after-effect of FDR's New Deal, and that we don't really need to protect
their interests any longer.

28. I'm voting Republican because our country and planet can take more
pollution, more contamination, more warming, because it's just part of
nature, and not man made.

29. I'm voting Republican because federal budget deficits just don't matter.

30. I'm voting Republican because declaring a war for oil was a great idea;
and letting corporations into the country afterwards gave those businesses
billions of unaccountable dollars.

31. I'm voting Republican because I don't believe that workers need a
minimum wage, and that corporations should be free to pay as little as they
need to for work, like Wal-Mart, to keep prices low for me.

32. I'm voting Republican because Karl Rove, Scooter Libby, Donald Rumsfeld,
Dick Cheney, Jack Abramoff Alberto Gonzales, Paul Wolfowitz, and President
George W. Bush are just great guys.

33. I'm voting Republican because I approve of the way the government
handled the hurricane Katrina disaster, and I think its great it took days
for federal help to arrive to the starving, thirsty people of New Orleans.

34. I'm voting Republican because I believe a variety of viewpoints, and
intellectual discourse, has no place in the Oval Office; there should be one
infallible decider.

35. I'm voting Republican because we need to maintain our white, Christian,
male dominated, English speaking society for the benefit of our diverse
society.

36. I'm voting Republican because after twelve years of Republican rule in
Congress, and eight years of Republican executive rule, the fundamentals of
our economy are strong (not including the present bailout, the mortgage
crisis, the stock market crisis, the increasing unemployment, or the golden
parachutes by several CEOs).

37. I'm voting Republican because equality – economic, class, gender,
sexuality, racial – doesn't matter.

38. I'm voting Republican because I don't believe that an elite, college
Constitutional law professor, who came from humble origins and worked his
way up to Harvard, and who inspires hope in millions of people ignored by
the last administration has any business leading our country.

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27 Oct 08 - 08:25 PM (#2477696)
Subject: RE: BS: To become a republican
From: GUEST,Justin U

And there is another reason Amos.

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27 Oct 08 - 08:53 PM (#2477707)
Subject: RE: BS: To become a republican
From: Amos

Naaaahhhh......



A

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27 Oct 08 - 09:13 PM (#2477714)
Subject: RE: BS: To become a republican
From: Charley Noble

Evidently Republicans in the State of Washington are not running this year as "Republicans" but as members of the "GOP" (Grand Old Party). "When the Going Gets Tough, The Tough Get Going!" Who said that?

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

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28 Oct 08 - 02:17 PM (#2478338)
Subject: RE: BS: To become a republican
From: Amos

Aides to George W.Bush, former Reagan White House staff and friends of John McCain have all told The Sunday Telegraph that they not only expect to lose on November 4, but also believe that Mr Obama is poised to win a crushing mandate.

They believe he will be powerful enough to remake the American political landscape with even more ease than Ronald Reagan did in 1980.

The prospect of an electoral rout has unleashed a bitter bout of recriminations both within the McCain campaign and the wider conservative movement, over who is to blame and what should be done to salvage the party's future.

Mr McCain is now facing calls for him to sacrifice his own dwindling White House hopes and focus on saving vulnerable Republican Senate seats which are up for grabs on the same day.

Their fear is that Democrat candidates riding on Mr Obama's popularity may win the nine extra seats they need in the Senate to give them unfettered power in Congress.

If the Democrat majority in the Senate is big enough - at least 60 seats to 40 - the Republicans will be unable to block legislation by use of a traditional filibuster - talking until legislation runs out of time. No president has had the support of such a majority since Jimmy Carter won the 1976 election. President Reagan achieved his political transformation partly through the power of his personality.

David Frum, a former Bush speechwriter, told The Sunday Telegraph that Republicans should now concentrate all their fire on "the need for balanced government".

"It's hard to see a turnaround in the White House race," he said. "This could look like an ideological as well as a party victory if we're not careful. It could be 1980 in reverse.

"With this huge new role for federal government in the economy, the possibility for mischief making is very, very great. One man should not have a monopoly of political and financial power. That's very dangerous."

In North Carolina, where Senator Elizabeth Dole seems set to lose, Republicans are running adverts that appear to take an Obama victory for granted, warning that the Democrat will have a "blank cheque" if her rival Kay Hagen wins. "These liberals want complete control of government in a time of crisis," the narrator says. "All branches of Government. No checks and balances."

Democrats lead in eight of the 12 competitive Senate races and need just nine gains to reach their target of 60. Even Mitch McConnell, the leader of Senate Republicans, is at risk in Kentucky, normally a rock solid red state.

A private memo on the likely result of the congressional elections, leaked to Politico, has the Republicans losing 37 seats.

Ed Rollins, who masterminded Ronald Reagan's second victory in 1984, said the election is already over and predicted: "This is going to turn into a landslide."

A former White House official who still advises President Bush told The Sunday Telegraph: "McCain hasn't won independents, nor has he inspired the base. It's the worst of all worlds. He is dragging everyone else down with him. He needs to deploy people and money to salvage what we can in Congress."

The prospect of defeat has unleashed what insiders describe as an "every man for himself" culture within the McCain campaign, with aides in a "circular firing squad" as blame is assigned.

More profoundly, it sparked the first salvoes in a Republican civil war with echoes of Tory infighting during their years in the political wilderness.

One wing believes the party has to emulate David Cameron, by adapting the issues to fight on and the positions they hold, while the other believes that a back to basics approach will reconnect with heartland voters and ensure success. Modernisers fear that would leave Republicans marginalised, like the Tories were during the Iain Duncan Smith years, condemning them to opposition for a decade.

Mr Frum argues that just as America is changing, so the Republican Party must adapt its economic message and find more to say about healthcare and the environment if it is to survive.

He said: "I don't know that there's a lot of realism in the Republican Party. We have an economic message that is largely irrelevant to most people.

"Cutting personal tax rates is not the answer to everything. The Bush years were largely prosperous but while national income was up the numbers for most individuals were not. Republicans find that a hard fact to process."

Other Republicans have jumped ship completely. Ken Adelman, a Pentagon adviser on the Iraq war, Matthew Dowd, who was Mr Bush's chief re-election strategist, and Scott McClellan, Mr Bush's former press secretary, have all endorsed Mr Obama.

But the real bile has been saved for those conservatives who have balked at the selection of Sarah Palin.

In addition to Mr Frum, who thinks her not ready to be president, Peggy Noonan, Ronald Reagan's greatest speechwriter and a columnist with the Wall Street Journal, condemned Mr McCain's running mate as a "symptom and expression of a new vulgarisation of American politics." Conservative columnist David Brooks called her a "fatal cancer to the Republican Party".

The backlash that ensued last week revealed the fault lines of the coming civil war.

Rush Limbaugh, the doyen of right wing talk radio hosts, denounced Noonan, Brooks and Frum. Neconservative writer Charles Krauthammer condemned "the rush of wet-fingered conservatives leaping to Barack Obama", while fellow columnist Tony Blankley said that instead of collaborating in heralding Mr Obama's arrival they should be fighting "in a struggle to the political death for the soul of the country".

During the primaries the Democratic Party was bitterly divided between Barack Obama's "latte liberals" and Hillary Clinton's heartland supporters, but now the same cultural division threatens to tear the Republican Party apart.

Jim Nuzzo, a White House aide to the first President Bush, dismissed Mrs Palin's critics as "cocktail party conservatives" who "give aid and comfort to the enemy".

He told The Sunday Telegraph: "There's going to be a bloodbath. A lot of people are going to be excommunicated. David Brooks and David Frum and Peggy Noonan are dead people in the Republican Party. The litmus test will be: where did you stand on Palin?"
(U.K. Telegraph

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One thing that has always puzzled and, to be frank, upset me about the more public of Republican mouthpieces is their enthusiasm for antagonism and adversarial loud-mouthery. Many of them (I am thinking specifically of people like Limbaugh, Savage, Hannity, O'Reilly and their ilk) seem predisposed to hating, lashing, and verbal fisticuffs instead of the exchange of ideas.

To see these venomous faces now begin to drift into an inward-voicing circle and spew at each other, for a change, would offer a lesser man a great opportunity for schadenfreude. But not me. I am above such petty emotions; I only wish the finest of spiritual growth for each and every one of them.


A

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28 Oct 08 - 07:31 PM (#2478602)
Subject: RE: BS: To become a republican
From: kendall

I remember when GOP meant Grand old party.
Now it means Grab Old People.

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