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10 Nov 08 - 06:27 AM (#2489662) Subject: Lyr Req: Parody of Two Little Boys From: John MacKenzie I was listening to the apparently everlasting Rolf Harris on Radio 4 this morning. There is going to be a re-launch of his biggest hit 'Two Little Boys'. Suddenly there came to my mind a parody heard many years ago, and I wonder if any Mudcatters can let me have the words. Two little boys had two little toys Each had a cross cut [?] saw. a few lines, then. One little chap then had a mishap He cut his left leg off. ...................? ...................? The chorus started. Did you think I would leave you hobbling? And he cut off his right leg too etc etc. JM |
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10 Nov 08 - 12:54 PM (#2489981) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Parody of Two Little Boys From: Acorn4 I can remember one which uses innuendo by missing out some of the words - it was on one of the radio satire programmes:- "Two little boys had two little **** Each had a wooden**** Gaily they'd play, each summer's day **** both of course" Gets funnyish when they get to the line Someday we'll both be soldiers and our **** will not be toys. I seem to remember it supposedly being from "The Rolf Harris Dirty Songbook". If you've got the original words it woud be possible to reconstruct it from this. |
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10 Nov 08 - 12:57 PM (#2489985) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Parody of Two Little Boys From: Silas Acorn4 that was the legendary Humph - @I'm sorry I havent a clue' Great stuff! |
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10 Nov 08 - 01:31 PM (#2490020) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Parody of Two Little Boys From: HuwG Billy Connolly did another version at the 1978 "The Secret Policeman's Ball" dedicated to all those who "fell downstairs" under questioning at Glasgow Central Police Station. Two little boys had two little toys A whistle and a helmet blue And when they were wee It was plain to see What they'd grow up into They were kicking other wains* Bashing in their brains And shopping** everybody too "It was him! it was him!" They didn't reform, they're in uniform They're two little boys in blue (Chorus) Did you think I would leave you lying When I can lie my arse off too If somebody squawks in the witness box I'll cover up for you I'll tell a pack of lies, pull the wool over their eyes The way the sergeant taught us to Before you count to three, we'll be off scot free We're two little boys in blue Now the duty sergeant said, tuck the prisoners into bed But before you take their cocoa through Kick them in the cells, hit them where it tells But don't leave them black and blue You can kick them in the balls, bounce their heads off all the walls Bash them on the kidneys too Hit them on the legs and thighs, but don't give them black eyes Or you'll be a prisoner too (Chorus) Now if you see them on the beat, as they swagger down your street Here's a piece of advice for you Don't trust to luck - Run! like the clappers From the two little boys in blue (Chorus) * = small children (wee 'uns) ** = grassing upon, informing |
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10 Nov 08 - 02:20 PM (#2490061) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Parody of Two Little Boys From: Brian Peters Years ago I did a gig with the almost legendary Mossley Dukes in a bikers' pub in Ashton-under-Lyne. The atmosphere was intimidating, but despite getting off to a bad start as an acoustic band in a venue accustomed to loud rock and blues ("We can't f***ing hear you!!"), we finally won them over. When we'd finished and were putting our gear away, they began their own community singing session, which consisted of them forming a circle, arms around the next man's shoulders, and belting out 'Delilah' and suchlike in a drunken cacophony. Their big favourite, performed every week, was Rolf's hit, as follows: Long years had passed, war came so fast Bravely they marched away Cannon roared loud, and in the mad crowd Wounded and dying lay Up goes a shout, a horse dashes out Out from the ranks so blue Gallops away to where Joe lay Then came a voice he knew........ GET UP YER SOFT BASTARD!!!! |
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11 Nov 08 - 12:45 AM (#2490475) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Parody of Two Little Boys From: allanwill Without trying to dampen this thread in any way, this song is very poignant ( is that how you spell it?) on this our (Australia's) most nationalistic day, where we celebrate our coming of age at Gallopili and the Western Front during WW1. Allan |
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11 Nov 08 - 02:43 AM (#2490495) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Parody of Two Little Boys From: Georgiansilver Rolf Harris is re-rereleasing the original "Two Little Boys" to raise money for the British Legion in remembrance of those who died in the wars. |
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11 Nov 08 - 04:42 AM (#2490550) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Parody of Two Little Boys From: GUEST I imagine this is the version you are looking for. Regards TEN LITTLE TOES Two little boys had two little toys, Each had a crosscut saw, Gaily they played, sawing away, They ripped and they tore. Then poor little Jack, he had a mishap, He hacked off his own left leg! He hobbled about, he screamed and shouted, Till his young playmate said: "Did you think I would leave you hobbling?" As he hacked off Jack's right leg too! "Climb up here, Jack, a bit of cobbling, And you'll be just as good as new. When we grow up we'll both be lumberjacks And we'll cut down the trees in rows. Do you think you will ever remember When you had ten little toes?" Long years passed, lumberjacks at last Both of the boys became. Sawing away till that fateful day, When the forest was all aflame. Joe got caught; he struggled and fought, But he couldn't get away. He'd resigned himself to a fiery death, When gladly he heard jack say: "Did you think I would leave you frying?" And he hacked off both Joe's legs too. "Climb up here Joe we'll soon be flying, For my tin legs will see us through. Can't you see, Joe, I'm all a-trembling, Do you think it's the fires red glow? No, Joe, it's that I'm remembering When I had ten little toes!" |
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11 Nov 08 - 05:47 AM (#2490587) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Parody of Two Little Boys From: John MacKenzie That's the one, thanks Guest. JM |
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11 Nov 08 - 02:58 PM (#2491002) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Parody of Two Little Boys From: Rusty Dobro Back to Nov 10, 12:57: it wasn't Humph on 'I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue' (or at least not first): it was 'Tim Brooke Taylor, John Cleese, David Hatch, Jo Kendall and Bill Oddie' on 'I'm Sorry, I'll Read That Again'. Maybe not the funniest sketch they ever did, but the same trick worked well with Tom Jones' 'It's Not Unusual' ('to have *** with anyone'.) Happy days. |