To Thread - Forum Home

The Mudcat Café TM
34 messages

Sherry Aims, Folk Nurse

23 Jun 99 - 09:38 AM (#89000)
Subject: Sherry Aims, Folk Nurse
From: Peter T.

Equal opportunity storytelling, anyone?!

Sherry Aims, Folk Nurse

Tousling her hair, and taking a deep breath to calm her nerves, Sherry Aims entered Dr. Guthrie Guthrie's outer office. It was her first day on her new job, and she wanted to make an impression, especially on Dr. Guthrie Guthrie, whom she had not yet seen. In the outer office, sat a motley crowd of broken folkies, nursing bad cheques, dressed in bad checks, carrying sick instruments, assorted broken fingers, shattered guitar cases, and cases of the DTs.
"Morning, Ms. Aims," chirped Bella Rhymney, Dr. Guthrie's voluptuous secretary. "Dr. Guthrie says you are to go right in."
So this was it. She would now be able to go into the "Inner Office". She straightened her heaving bosom, tripped over a possum ocarina some idiot had left on the floor, and hastened to knock on the door.
"Come in," growled a handsome voice. Even the sound of his voice thrilled her like someone running a bottleneck up her spine.

23 Jun 99 - 09:12 PM (#89204)
Subject: RE: Sherry Aims, Folk Nurse
From: alison

It had been a long time since someone ran a bottleneck up Sherry's spine, but that was a memory she wasn't ready to let surface, not yet anyway. Slowly she pushed the door open and there he was. She gasped, her heart deafening. His tanned muscular arms were encircling a small banjo, as his long taut fingers gently caressed the fret board. Sherry's mind started to work overtime. If only she had strings...... "Come over here and let me have a good look at you, Sherry." Her pulse raced, "Yes doctor," she cooed.

23 Jun 99 - 09:22 PM (#89207)
Subject: RE: Sherry Aims, Folk Nurse
From: Alice

"Sherry Aims to please", she giggled. "Oh, sorry", the nurse blushed, realizing this was a little too unprofessional a response for the image she was desperate to create. "That was just a little joke my friends would make at my last job," the pink glow of her cheeks was not unnoticed by her new boss. 'Oh, God,' she thought, 'I hope he doesn't find out what my last job really was.'

23 Jun 99 - 09:22 PM (#89208)
Subject: RE: Sherry Aims, Folk Nurse
From: katlaughing

As she slowly and cautiously took the few steps over to him, he held out the neat little banjo. She took it in her arms, while he, moving behind her, circled her and the banjo with those deeply tanned and very muscular arms. Giving her a little squeeze, he smiled at her, showing off a brilliant set of white teeth, so sparkly she caught a glint of sunshine on them; the smile just kept going up to his deep hazel green eyes. "Now", he said with a husky voice filled with testoterone, "let's see what you can do with this baby, Sherry. Go ahead, play me anyway, er... I mean anything you want!"

23 Jun 99 - 09:48 PM (#89212)
Subject: RE: Sherry Aims, Folk Nurse
From: John Hindsill

Dr G took her and her banjo sailing on the Golden Vanity. A squall came up! Dr. Guthrie felt he was about to lose his cookies; he reached for a bottle of wine to calm his gale-tossed stomach. What he wanted was Sherry, but any port in the storm would have to do. "L'Chaim, " he said. "Whatever," replied she, as she strummed the old banjo.

24 Jun 99 - 12:15 AM (#89246)
Subject: RE: Sherry Aims, Folk Nurse
From: katlaughing

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, er.....that is the office, Bella Rhymney, Guthrie Guthrie's well-endowed secretary was trying to sort out the patients, both those strung and unstrung, but especially those high strung.

Kicking the possum ocarina in the arse, (she was tired of tripping on it), Bella called out the first patient's name, "Mr....Catspaw? Mr. Casbah?? Mr.'Spaw??" That must be it, she thought, "Mr. Cat 'Spaw, yes right, Mr. Cat 'Spaw, you're next!"

24 Jun 99 - 01:17 AM (#89266)
Subject: RE: Sherry Aims, Folk Nurse
From: Night Owl

Unfortunately, Mr. Cat Spaw couldn't respond. In his Herculean effort to catch the ocarina before it crashed to the floor, he......

24 Jun 99 - 01:24 AM (#89267)
Subject: RE: Sherry Aims, Folk Nurse
From: alison

tripped hitting his head on the corner of Bella's desk.

Hours later he awoke in hospital covered head to toe in bandages, he had unfortunately been admitted on the very day when the medical students needed to practice their bandaging.

As he regained consciousness he was aware of a willowy yet voluptuous nurse wearing a very skimpy uniform gazing down at him.

She gasped as she recognised those eyes, his eyes. Her hand shot to her mouth "It can't be!" she cried. But it was.

It was......

24 Jun 99 - 02:03 AM (#89274)
Subject: RE: Sherry Aims, Folk Nurse
From: Night Owl

Hyman. It couldn't be, she thought, after all these years. Hyman Dorkelman, her first love in High School. She had tried to find him once, years ago, only to learn that he was living under an alias...something to do with appendages...animals....she couldn't remember. The last time she had seen him, they had.....

24 Jun 99 - 09:15 AM (#89327)
Subject: RE: Sherry Aims, Folk Nurse
From: Peter T.

been at the Double Bar-Twisted-Q Ranch. And now Sherry's mind turned back to when she had been Sherry Aims, Veterinary Nurse, and she had first laid eyes on Hank. Large, muscular, a lank of black hair askew on his scuplted forehead, and yet eyes that beckoned deep into a gentle pastureland. When she was with Hank, bound together in unbridled passion, his hard body against hers, it was all she could do to remember not to date outside her own species. What a horse Hank was!
And then it had all ended on that dreadful day packed with unforgettable images -- the Saudi prince, the pink jockey shorts, the fire in the stable, and the last horrible moment by the oat bin. She shook off the memory of Hank's nuzzling, and returned to her banjo. She plinked a little sad flurry of "Camptown Races" to segue back into the main storyline.
Dr. Guthrie Guthrie stood up abruptly. "Well, Nurse Aims, it's time to start seeing patients. Send in the clowns."
Sherry sat amazed. What had happened? Why had he suddenly become so formal?
She put the banjo down, and straightening her heaving bosom again, she went to the door, hiding her crushed spirit.
"Please come in....."

24 Jun 99 - 05:41 PM (#89450)
Subject: RE: Sherry Aims, Folk Nurse
From: emily rain

a pale young man stumbled backwards into the office. like all the other patients, he had just spent an hour and a half pressed up against the wall gasping for air. it seemed that bella's chest was a bit, er, voluminous for the tiny waiting room. when he saw what awaited him inside, however, his eyes flew open in terror. these were the most garganuan mammaries he'd ever laid eyes on!

24 Jun 99 - 06:26 PM (#89465)
Subject: RE: Sherry Aims, Folk Nurse
From: Fadac

She unpeeled his eyes from her bossom. Then she heaved. The young man got his eyes back in his head, and said, "I'm here to squeeze."

Sherry's eyes opened wide in fear, "OHMYGOD! It's an ACCORDIONST! The one thing worse that an unexploded Scotsman!"

"Yes, the name is...Bill Bellows", intruduced the young man. "I'm here to FREE the REEDS"

The possom thought, "Oh Crap, not again."

24 Jun 99 - 09:17 PM (#89511)
Subject: RE: Sherry Aims, Folk Nurse
From: sharon

"Bill Bellows!" gasped Sherry! "I've heard of you.....the worst accordianist this side of the Mississippi!" "Nothing to fear, my dear," explained Bill. " The bellows I shall free are actually a set of parlor pipes..... I am also a piper, you know." This caused Sherry, an avowed bagpipe hater, to suddenly gulp....swallowing her tooth whitening gum. She choked desperately. Bill asked, "Can you talk?"........Sherry continued to choke. Bill asked, "Can you speak?" ,,.........She was gasping frantically. Bill asked, "Can you breathe?".........Her face was bright red, her eyes were bulging. He had to do something. Bill turned her over his knees, lifted her skirt and licked her once on the butt. Immediately she coughed forcefully, and out popped the gum. Wow!" he said. "I sure am glad I remembered that hindy-lick maneuver!."

24 Jun 99 - 09:19 PM (#89514)
Subject: RE: Sherry Aims, Folk Nurse
From: alison

"But first I need to check your temperature, just turn around and bend over please." she reached into her pocket to get the thermometer and pulled out the biggest Low D whistle Dr Guthrie had ever seen.

I hate accordion players she thought. Dr Guthries eyes widened as she absentmindedly ran her fingers up the shaft of the whistle.


25 Jun 99 - 08:14 AM (#89641)
Subject: RE: Sherry Aims, Folk Nurse
From: SueH

the door opened, and Bella Rhymney rushed in. Doctor, doctor, she gasped, Come quickly, you have an emergency. One of your patients has got his plectrum caught in an elevator door!

Dr Guthrie Guthrie grabbed his bag and rushed out, leaving Sherry with Bill Bellows. The young man blushed deeply. Well ma'am, he whispered, moving towards her. Looks like you and I could be makin' beautiful music. I sure been waiting a long time to......

25 Jun 99 - 09:36 AM (#89660)
Subject: RE: Sherry Aims, Folk Nurse
From: Matthew B.

...learn all the verses to I'm My Own Grandpa, and they tell me that you know 'em all!"

She blushed a beet red. It had been a lifetime ago that she was into such sordid things. She was a different person then... wasn't she? And yet, she felt that all-too-familiar tug in her heart, and blurted out "I'll even teach you the Grandma version."

They stared silently at each other for an almost endless moment. Their bodies came closeer together, and they...

25 Jun 99 - 09:56 AM (#89664)
Subject: RE: Sherry Aims, Folk Nurse
From: Peter T.

were just about to consider alternative fingerings on the old squeeze box, when the door was flung open.
"Quick nurse, the screen!!"
Sherry pulled down the screen, and turned on the projector.
"Not that screen, you idiot!"
Sherry turned around, flustered. "Dr. Guthrie, I know I am new here --"
"Hell, new, you haven't even been unwrapped yet! Get those screens down. We've got a lunatic on our hands."
Dr. Guthrie was wrestling with a strange figure, dusty and grimy, wearing an old battered hat, jeans and a harmonica in his back pocket, a battered guitar flailing in his hands. He was howling a kind of demented noise.
Bella and Dr. Guthrie wrestled him down onto the table, and strapped him in.
"Doc, doc," the folkie cried. "I gotta get back to the barricades, back on the dusty roads, out to where the little people are, fightin' to breathe free."
"What is he talking about Doctor?" asked Bella when she had a moment to breathe.
"I haven't the faintest idea," replied the steely eyed doctor. "He's delirious."
The man on the table blinked, and smiled up at Sherry Ames. "You can't see it, but we are on the march. From the hootenanies to the Washington Memorial, from the grit on the roads to the hoboes riding the blinds. Can't you hear it? Can't you hear the bells of freedom?"
They all shook their heads. Dr. Guthrie motioned to Bill Bellows to leave the room, and then went over, and took Sherry Aims' arm -- a thrill rushed through her and back out again -- and said, "Look after him for a moment, will you, while Bella and I go consult."
This was giving her a lot of responsibility on her first day, but she would do her best!
Bella smiled from ear to ear, and she and Dr. Guthrie, heads bent close to each other, went into the "Inner Inner Office".
Sherry looked down at the poor busted folkie. In the corner, tossed aside, was his old guitar, covered in every space with the words: "This guitar fights the international conspiracy against human inequality and injustice, rooted in the differential exploitation of resources and control over the means of production."
What could this gibberish mean?
He started up again: "And I ain't marchin' anymore, now that the buffalo's gone!!Workers of the world unite!!Hey, hey, L.B.J., how many strikers did you scab today!! Wobblies! Pinkertons!"
It sounded vaguely historic to her. Was L.B.J. something like a leveraged buyout?
Oh well, it wouldn't be long until breaktime, when she could check up on her investments.
"You see, little lady, its music that binds us all together, heightens the heart crushed in the struggle, calls us to sacrifice for brothers and sisters yet unborn in the great beyond, to make a better world for all!!!!"
He was sort of cute, whatever it was he was going on about, poor man.

25 Jun 99 - 10:19 AM (#89679)
Subject: RE: Sherry Aims, Folk Nurse
From: SueH

Sherry allowed her mind to wander, dreaming of tropical islands and a large win on the lottery. Dimly, the demented folkie's words kept drifting into her head....freedom, rights!, victory! Suddenly, she felt a song coming on. Opening her eyes, she wrenched the guitar from the failing man's hands and....

25 Jun 99 - 10:25 AM (#89682)
Subject: RE: Sherry Aims, Folk Nurse
From: Night Owl

Time Out. Peter T. THAT WAS FUN!!!! Great writing!!!!! Time In.

25 Jun 99 - 10:46 AM (#89693)
Subject: RE: Sherry Aims, Folk Nurse
From: Fadac

"Time out, time in, Oh, for a 'possoms grin. What would I give my love, A broken Chevy and a boxing glove."

Sang Sherry as she strumed the old Sears and Robuck. The room was quiet after the song. The last chord just sort of hung in the air, like the flittering smell of passing perfume.

A loud crash came from the next room, Sherry got up, droped the guitar on the raving patiant, Thunk, wong, went the guitar, ooof, ow! went the patiant.

As she opens the door and looks for the cause of the noise, Ah, exam room "COLD B4" She runs in that direction. Unseen her foot steps on a small, clay o'possom, her foot slips, and goes out from under her.

"Oh," is all she can say as she does an invountary butt flop in the middle of the room. The clay possom shoots across the room. And turns in the air, then hits the good Dr. in the mouth, south end first.

"Fweet? Fweet?" was all the Dr. could say, as he blew up the opossoms clay butt.

[Here we go again...], thought the possom

Another Crash!

"Give it up! Free the Reeds!", Screams Bill Bellows as he fights with...something...yes...It's the only bagpiper in the room, Hover, the vacume cleaner.

25 Jun 99 - 12:12 PM (#89716)
Subject: RE: Sherry Aims, Folk Nurse
From: Matthew B.

"Well, this is way too much folk music and housecleaning for one day" she thought. She clicked on her laptop to check her investments. "Damn hedge fund!" she murmured to herself, relaizing that she'd be getting another margin call from the nefarious Charles O'Schwab, that seedy investment banker and waterfront crimp. "Maybe I'll be shanghaied and sent around the horn again" she thought. She hates it when that happens.

But then she gazed out of the window at the harbor and saw a strange sailing craft looming into port. She opened her window, and heard a wafting noise that sounded hideously obscene (something about a Hanging Johnny).

She could no longer contained herself. She that she had to...

25 Jun 99 - 12:23 PM (#89719)
Subject: RE: Sherry Aims, Folk Nurse
From: SueH

make the ultimate break for freedom. Flinging off her uniform, she ran to the door and threw it open, forgteting that....

25 Jun 99 - 12:29 PM (#89722)
Subject: RE: Sherry Aims, Folk Nurse
From: Matthew B.

...Tuesday was laundry day and she had run out of clean underwear. "My mother always warned me this would happen."

Stark naked and desperately embarassed, she bolted into the nearest doorway for safety, only to find herself suddenly in the middle of a...

25 Jun 99 - 12:30 PM (#89723)
Subject: RE: Sherry Aims, Folk Nurse
From: Fadac

Her now very ample bossom, having nothing to hold them in place, flew up and smacked her in the face. (ouch) When they fell, she had a sheepish look on her face, "Baaa"?

25 Jun 99 - 01:05 PM (#89730)
Subject: RE: Sherry Aims, Folk Nurse
From: Matthew B.

Hey, fadac, that's not a continuation. (sniff)

Okay, I'll do it myself.


only to find herself suddenly in the middle of a...

...three ring circus. Before she could run again for cover, a loud cry of "Laaaaadies and Gentlemen!" came booming over the loudspeaker. Mortified, she suddenly found herself surrounded by a scrambling mass of clowns.

Crouching low, she tried to hide among them, only to find herself suddenly swept into a small car with 57 other clowns.

"Gee, I never realized how roomy these things are once you get inside them," she exclaimed to a female clown who handed her one of the spare clown costumes they kept in the glove compartment. She quickly donned the suit, but had some trouble getting the nose to stay in place. She leaned forward and asked the driver "Where are we headed?" He looked at her with a mischevious grin and replied that she was in store for a treat. She had no idea what he meant, until the car finally stopped, and she emerged in the middle of a...

25 Jun 99 - 01:52 PM (#89735)
Subject: RE: Sherry Aims, Folk Nurse
From: Alice

an episode of Firesign Theatre. How many bozos are on this bus, anyway?

25 Jun 99 - 02:55 PM (#89748)
Subject: RE: Sherry Aims, Folk Nurse

Hi I'm from Scotland. Do I understand you guys are taking the micky out of Cherry Ames, twin sister of gorgeous Charlie?

I used to collect these books when younger and still trawl secondhand bookshops for them. Please get in touch. My daughter is hooked on them as well.

25 Jun 99 - 03:11 PM (#89755)
Subject: RE: Sherry Aims, Folk Nurse
From: Matthew B.

Magjam, I wouldn't know.

But yes, Alice. I do think that we're all bozos on this bus. So let's get back to the shadows again (back where an Indian's your friend), shall we?

...she emerged in the middle of an abandoned merchant shipyard. She wondered why an abandoned ship yard should be cluttered with ships, and teeming with sailors reporting for duty and longshoremen loading cargo, but then she stopped wondering.

Her big problem was how to walk around in a clown suit without attracting attention. Then it finally occurred to her: "The reason this is all happening is...

25 Jun 99 - 03:18 PM (#89759)
Subject: RE: Sherry Aims, Folk Nurse
From: Bert

...all due to the Philadelphia Experiment - The govenment has been trying to keep it secret since WWII and she could see the Men in Black heading towards her

25 Jun 99 - 03:18 PM (#89760)
Subject: RE: Sherry Aims, Folk Nurse
From: katlaughing

(Aside to magjam: it would be best for you to start a new thread about those books, rather than post it in here; that way you'll get a lot more responses and mst assuredly some answers> Thanks for asking, though.)

She woke up to find herself in a hospital room, private with lots of flowers. Blake Madison, private eye, was sitting by the bed with a big smile on his face.

Sherry told herself, "Stay calm, there's a reason for this and that maniac looks happy." She looked around the room. "Who are you?" she asked.

"Blake Madison's the name, dickin's my game. Private eye, that is."

"Well, Mr. Madison, perhaps you can tell me where I am and what happened to my clown suit? Where are my clothes and where is Dr. Guthrie Guthrie???"

25 Jun 99 - 03:24 PM (#89764)
Subject: RE: Sherry Aims, Folk Nurse
From: Fadac

ZZZZzzzzzzzzaaaaaaappppppp. Spok: Capt. we have a thread crash. Kirk: Rig for colousion! Sulo: Rigging Scotty: Cp't She noa take annny moo. Bones: Jim, I'm just a country docter. Possom: Who's blowing hot air up my ass? Anybody want to Hokey Pokey?

Brige crew: NO! We want Polka!

Voice on screen: We now return control of your TV to you.


25 Jun 99 - 03:25 PM (#89766)
Subject: RE: Sherry Aims, Folk Nurse
From: Matthew B.

"I have some shocking news for you about Dr Gutherie," Blake intoned conspiratorially as she quivered in confusion. "He's not really the folkie he appears to be. That's just his cover. He's really the notorious...

25 Jun 99 - 04:44 PM (#89799)
Subject: RE: Sherry Aims, Folk Nurse
From: Joe Offer

...possum tooter." He has a strange malady, a compulsion to seek out possums and blow their tails.
"For some reason," panted Sherry, "I find that irresistably attractive in a man. All five of ex's have been possum tooters.
With longing in her eyes and thighs, and her ample bosom heaving lustily, she turned to him and sighed,

"Click me, Baby.."

26 Jun 99 - 01:01 AM (#89897)
Subject: RE: Sherry Aims, Folk Nurse
From: Fadac

Or not to click. Sherry, what have you been doing? This morning your thighs were white, now there all red.

She just looks up at me, half closes her eyes, and says, "Orange".