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23 Jun 99 - 11:09 PM (#89229) Subject: The most ridiculous tread ever!!! From: Bert Has just gotta be the "Traditional American Drinking Songs" thread. DICK is ASKING 'US' for lyrics!!! Bert. ;-) |
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24 Jun 99 - 02:15 AM (#89278) Subject: RE: The most ridiculous thread ever!!! From: Art Thieme I haven't started this one "yet", but I just read the Farley Mowat book _Born Naked_. He says that Saskatchawan winters (50 below) were so cold that the horse's balls would literally freeze off and the kids used 'em for hockey pucks!!! Is that true?? Or is it a tall tale?? Rick---somebody up there---help with an answer. (By putting this in this thread I get away from starting a thread that'll give me a bad name like the infamous condom thread did. (SO THERE!!!) Art Thieme |
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24 Jun 99 - 02:56 AM (#89285) Subject: RE: The most ridiculous thread ever!!! From: bseed(charleskratz) Good thinking, Art, but about six months too late--you've got the bad name forever--no one's ever gonna forget the condom thread (you notice how condoms II died quickly, but the one with your name on it is still plugging away? But even if you are a dirty-minded old man, we still love you. --seed |
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24 Jun 99 - 09:43 AM (#89336) Subject: RE: The most ridiculous thread ever!!! From: Bert Sounds like a load of balls to me |
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24 Jun 99 - 10:27 AM (#89349) Subject: RE: The most ridiculous thread ever!!! From: Steve Latimer Art, There is no question that a frozen horse turd was used as a puck by many Canadians. Several biographies of famous NHLer's cite playing with "Road Apples" while using magazines as shin pads. In rural Canada they were much more readily available than pucks. I myself am from the city and never had the opportunity to play with one, I think that if I had I may never have become a goalie. |
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24 Jun 99 - 10:36 AM (#89361) Subject: RE: The most ridiculous thread ever!!! From: Fadac I did hear stories in Ill. about in the "old" days, of men going out to the little house out back, in the winter -40, and uh, dribbling and frezzing a bit of themselves to the seat. Ouch! -Fadac |
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24 Jun 99 - 11:00 AM (#89369) Subject: RE: The most ridiculous thread ever!!! From: Peter T. I can bear witness to playing hockey (mostly shinny) with frozen horse turds on f'ing cold rural Canadian lakes. They weren't any hell, as they wouldn't slide much, and they busted if you hit them moderately hard. We did it when I was a teenager, but we did it just to see what it was like. We also had hockey pucks. To those aficianados who want to work out the approximate date of this memory, this was in the days just before curved blades! (I can remember pals going through all kinds of effort trying to warp their sticks as the word spread that this was a good trick). yours, Peter T. P.S. I could never play hockey worth a damn. |
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24 Jun 99 - 11:11 AM (#89370) Subject: RE: The most ridiculous thread ever!!! From: Fadac Speaking of turds. On this very same farm in Ill. We had this huge dog. This dog would leave land mines all over the place. Well, one day I was out of work, it was winter, The place was frozen, I had this .38 so I went out side and... Shot the Shit! All I can say is, stand back. It splatters. Even got one round on slow motion 8mm film. The poor dog pile is just sitting there, when bits fly in all directions. At 1/4 speed. Was great fun. -Fadac |
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24 Jun 99 - 11:31 AM (#89374) Subject: RE: The most ridiculous thread ever!!! From: Rick Fielding Ah yes Art, winters may have been cold in old Chicago, but I remember the great freeze-up of '61 in Montreal. My friends Jaques, Pierre, Jean-Luc, and I headed off to the local stables to harvest a few of them frozen "horse balls". Well there was lots of quadruped fecal material all over the stable floor but those damn horses just weren't ready to part with their balls at that moment.(guess it wasn't cold enough) Well as we pondered what to do, Jean-Luc picked up a road apple and took a solid bite from it..."ummmm, by gar, dat shure taste good, tabernac!" "No shit", says I, practicing a slap shop with my "Boom Boom" Geffrion autographed stick. At that very moment we were startled to see one of our most exalted heroes, "Rocket Richard" stepping out from behind one of the horses. "Allo, dere, little 'ockey players", he greeted us and promptly tossed 5 small black rubber discs at us. They were the "real thing"! No longer would we have to risk life and limb by separating horses (les chevals, je pense) from their balls, just to feel like true Canadians. "Now get the puck outta here" cried our hero, and we were gone.
Actually, I was a lousy skater, played very little hockey, and was totally obsessed with baseball by the time I was nine. I dedicated my last album to Jim Bouton, so the obsession is still there. (got to meet him as well.) |
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24 Jun 99 - 01:02 PM (#89384) Subject: RE: The most ridiculous thread ever!!! From: ALDUS Many are cold, few are frozen......even in Saskatchewan |
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24 Jun 99 - 01:16 PM (#89386) Subject: RE: The most ridiculous thread ever!!! From: Peter T. In honour of Jim Bouton, we avoid all reference in this thread to Canada's national animal. Yours, Peter T. |
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24 Jun 99 - 01:47 PM (#89393) Subject: RE: The most ridiculous thread ever!!! From: The Shambles How about 'The sex lives of various sea fishes'? |
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24 Jun 99 - 02:37 PM (#89401) Subject: RE: The most ridiculous thread ever!!! From: Billy I think folks out there ought to know that, while I thoroughly enjoy Farley Mowat's writings and sensibilities, in many parts of Canada he is lovingly referred to as "Hardly Knowit" for his rather apocryphal remarks, and needs to be taken with a healthy dose of salt. He' written some damn fine books, esp Westviking and a sequel to that, just check the facts. So I figure in "Mowatese" frozen horse shit = frozen horse balls. |
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24 Jun 99 - 03:48 PM (#89416) Subject: RE: The most ridiculous thread ever!!! From: katlaughing Sure got the name of this thread right, boyz....ugh! |
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24 Jun 99 - 03:55 PM (#89419) Subject: RE: The most ridiculous thread ever!!! From: Bert Art, I've been thinking, maybe Farley Mowat was getting confused with "The brass monkey legend" Bert. |
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24 Jun 99 - 05:23 PM (#89444) Subject: RE: The most ridiculous thread ever!!! From: Bill D guy on the radio in my home town was reading the weather report one cold winter's day...something like "well, it's going down to -12 tonight...better bring in your brass monkeys.." he got in trouble, but did not lose his job... |
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24 Jun 99 - 05:25 PM (#89445) Subject: RE: The most ridiculous thread ever!!! From: Art Thieme Kat,
Now don't get "teste". ;-) Art |
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24 Jun 99 - 05:48 PM (#89452) Subject: RE: The most ridiculous thread ever!!! From: Art Thieme In Illinois, when I was a kid, it'd get so cold that exhibitionists would go up to people and describe themselves. Seems we've turned my serious question to Rick and others about equestrian genetalia being used as hockey equipment into a treatice on feces. That's terribly sad. But I now have a much better appreciation for the fine points of horse stuff (probably called mare merde in Montreal). Thnks to you all. But how can you intimate that writers (Mr. Mowat or even here at Mudcat) might be less than completely truthful! That's absurd. "If it's in a/the book, it's always true." (Jerry Falwell) Love, Art |
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24 Jun 99 - 06:15 PM (#89461) Subject: RE: The most ridiculous thread ever!!! From: Fadac Well, If you have a nose for the other end. Let me tell you about this Lt. S. Naught that I met while in the Army, He was from Post Nasel Drip. His Sgt. B. Ger had to blow. And the Lt. got wiped. Pvt. P. Arts took them all home in the Jeep. There, a dumb story with no shit. -Fadac |
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24 Jun 99 - 06:32 PM (#89469) Subject: RE: The most ridiculous thread ever!!! From: katlaughing Yea, Art, I am still Laughing, Kat. Thanks for coming to the er....rescue of my sensibilites. They were kinda delicate from a couple of other postings in the story threads, some pretty raunchy stuff which made me kinda sad, too. Now, mind you, I have nothing against horses, some of my best friends are beasties, ya know? katlaughing |
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27 Jun 99 - 11:45 AM (#90133) Subject: RE: The most ridiculous thread ever!!! From: Art Thieme Fadac, They all formed a folk group called THE NEW CRUSTY NOSTRILS. Art |
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28 Jun 99 - 11:02 AM (#90365) Subject: RE: The most ridiculous thread ever!!! From: Fadac Art, You can pick your nose. You can pick your Banjo. But you can't wipe your banjo on your pants. -Fadac "Ahh nose humor" |