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06 Feb 09 - 06:07 PM (#2559505) Subject: Old Fart Songs From: topical tom Since most of us on Mudcat seem to be old farts I think it would be cool if we searched for songs that portray men and women of a "certain age", whether in a poor or better light. I'll start with one of my favourites ,"Old Dogs And Children and Watermelon Wine by Tom T. Hall |
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06 Feb 09 - 06:13 PM (#2559514) Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs From: JWB "Silver in the Stubble" by ... ah... Sidney somebody? ... same guy that wrote "Lord of the Dance" whose name I can't pull out of my brain of a certain age. Had to get out of the chair and look it up: Syndey Carter. Fine song. |
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06 Feb 09 - 06:13 PM (#2559516) Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs From: Bill D "Over the Hills to the Poorhouse" "Too Old to Cut the Mustard" |
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06 Feb 09 - 06:22 PM (#2559526) Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs From: Joybell "Old and Grey and Only in the Way" "When I'm 64" (Old enough? Say no! Go on say no!) "Rocking Alone in Her Old Rocking Chair" "An Old Man Came A-courtin' Me" "Maids When You're Young Never Wed an Old Man" "Silver Threads Among the Gold" "Believe me if all those Endearing Young Charms" "Don't Step on Mother's Roses" barely begun yet Cheers, Joy |
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06 Feb 09 - 06:31 PM (#2559534) Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs From: GUEST, topsie When I Grow Up (I want to be an Old Woman) Michelle Shocked |
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06 Feb 09 - 06:39 PM (#2559542) Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs From: JWB You have to listen to all the verses to realize it's a "certain age" song, but 'tis: Old Peculier by Keith Marsden. |
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06 Feb 09 - 06:43 PM (#2559544) Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs From: Beer This should be a great thread topical tom. A couple that come to mind are: Old Doc Brown After the Ball Beer (adrien) |
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06 Feb 09 - 06:51 PM (#2559550) Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs From: GUEST,TJ in San Diego I recall an old parody from "Song Fest" based on "Silver Threads Among The Gold:" "At the boarding house where we live, Everything is growing old. Silver threads are in the butter, All the bread has turned to mold. When the dog died, we had hot dogs; When the cat died, catnip tea. When the landlord died, I left there; Spareribs were too much for me..." |
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06 Feb 09 - 06:58 PM (#2559557) Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs From: gnu One that comes to mind for me is Spaw. |
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06 Feb 09 - 07:22 PM (#2559578) Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs From: kendall A Daisy a Day. My Old Man. |
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06 Feb 09 - 07:28 PM (#2559582) Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs From: GUEST,TJ in San Diego Does anyone know of a song celebrating the efficacy of prune juice? There was a story about an old fellow who mixed his Rogaine with his Viagra - he woke up in the morning with his hair standing on end... |
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06 Feb 09 - 07:45 PM (#2559595) Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs From: Richard Bridge The Old Man from over the Sea (Hell's Bells, a folk song!) |
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06 Feb 09 - 07:54 PM (#2559603) Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs From: Beer Does Mr Bojangles fit the bill? Adrien |
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06 Feb 09 - 08:27 PM (#2559632) Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs From: Lin in Kansas Silver-Haired Daddy of Mine Lin |
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06 Feb 09 - 08:39 PM (#2559641) Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs From: Rowan John Anderson, my Jo Cheers, Rowan |
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06 Feb 09 - 08:45 PM (#2559647) Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs From: Bob Hitchcock How about "Old and in the Way" by Old and in the Way? I always thought you should never name your band after a song and vice versa. Bob. |
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06 Feb 09 - 09:27 PM (#2559664) Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs From: Joe_F Get Up & Go Abide with Me Sailor's Rest Auld Lang Syne The Goodnight-Loving Trail Lies |
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06 Feb 09 - 09:37 PM (#2559673) Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs From: Padre Silver Haired Daddy of Mine |
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06 Feb 09 - 10:14 PM (#2559708) Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs From: topical tom Thanks for all those great songs. One that I don't think was mentioned is "All Used Up" by Utah Philips. |
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06 Feb 09 - 11:19 PM (#2559731) Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs From: GUEST,iancarterb Maggie |
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07 Feb 09 - 12:17 AM (#2559754) Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs From: Nancy King Too Old to Work and Too Young to Die I Just Don't Look Good Naked Anymore Time Has Made a Change in Me Surely there must be more.... |
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07 Feb 09 - 05:14 AM (#2559831) Subject: Lyr Add: WHEN MOTHER AND ME JOINED IN (Jan Stewer) From: GUEST,doc.tom A. J. Coles' (Jan Stewer's) "When Mother and me Joined In": now there's two old farts causing chaos - and they know exactly what they're doing. When Mother and me Joined In Now Mother and me be the old-fashioned sort, But us bain't half so soft as us looks, There's lots o' things that the young 'uns can larn Besides what they reads in the books; Us was ax'd to a dance 'bout a fortnight ago, A slap-up affair which us thought quite slow, No polkas, no gallops, no gay gavottes - They just walked round and round and they called it foxtrots! But when Mother and me joined in, My word, what a time us spent; Us didn't know much of the steps (tunes/rules/moves), you see, But that didn't matter to Mother and me; Us made up the steps as us went. I bowed to mother, her bowed to me, And the band began to play, And away us went with a one, two, three - Us showed the young 'uns the way! They was begging our pardon left and right When we begun to spin; You'd never believe what a difference it made When Mother and me joined in! Well, when Mother and me... (steps) The room was crowded, there wadn't much space, And Mother weighs sixteen stone; I whirled her round and round the place - Us soon had the floor to our own; Us scattered the chaps, they lost their maids, Us went drough thick and thin; Oh, you'd never believe what a difference it made When Mother and me joined in. Now last summer they had in our parish hall A choral society; There was thirty or forty all singing to once Including Mother and me, But instead o' they songs that everyone knows, 'Twas one o' they horror-torios; They was all afraid to sing 'en out loud, 'Cus nobody knowed what 'twas all about. But when Mother and me... (tunes) Well, the man in front, 'e waggled 'is stick And the choir begun to squall, but Mother and me, us drowned the lot Wi' Uncle Tom Cobley and all; I sung treble, and I sung bass; The tenors was lost in the din; You'd never believe... Well, when Mother and me... (tunes) The choir all sang till they nearly bust And got in a terrible rage, But Mother and me, us finished fust Be' very near 'alf a page; The poor conductor, 'e lost 'is place, 'E didn't know where to begin; Oh, you'd never believe... Now, last Friday night us was invited out To a whist drive - start at eight; Us never 'ad bin to one before, And us got there a little bit late; They was all sat round wi' faces glum As if they was waiting for Kingdom come, Like a load of ol' pa'sons saying their prayers Wi' somebody bad in the room upstairs. But when Mother and me... (rules) Well, I went fust and I laid down The ace o' clubs wi' a slap; I was next, I played the ace O' trumps, and hollered, 'Snap!' The crowd did roar, the MC swore; We see'd us was gwain 'a win; You'd never believe... Well, when Mother and me... (rules) Well, I won fust prize be' all the rules With a hunderd and ninety-eight, But they refused to give it me; They said I'd reckoned in the date; Mother revoked, her partner choked; The folks all said, wi' a grin, Oh, they'd never believe... Now last week us went out on a charabanc ride And got up to some fine high jinks; Us went to place just to see what was on - 'Twas one o' they 'skating rinks'; The folks looked very fine and proud As they went skating round and round; I see'd some sights I never see'd afore As they went gliding round the floor. But when Mother and me... (moves) Well, a chap fitted me with two left skates Of quite a different track, For one was determined to go forrard And t'other to go back; When I said, 'Go!', I shouted, 'Whoa! There's somebody locked in me shin!' You'd never believe... Well, when Mother and me... (moves) A chap said to me, 'Where be gwain to next? I hollered, 'Goodness knows!' Then Mother come slap-bang into me arms And away the both of us goes. There was skaters in heaps all over the floor With pieces took out o' their skin; Oh, you'd never believe... |
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07 Feb 09 - 06:49 AM (#2559866) Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs From: GUEST Twice Daily |
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07 Feb 09 - 07:42 AM (#2559890) Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs From: GUEST,.gargoyle The list could run, and run, until the cows came home. For a little pop-rock try:
YESTERDAY - by The Beatles
AQUALUNG - by Jethro Tull
WHEN I WAS YOUNG- Eric Burdon & The Animals
THOSE WERE THE DAYS, MY FRIEND - by Mary Hopkins .
OLD MAN TAKE A LOOK AT MY LIFE - by Neil Young
KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCKING AT HEAVEN'S DOOR-by Dylan and Guns and Roses
DEAD MAN'S PARTY (No One Lives Forever) - Oingo Boingo
OLD MAN BLUES -by Duke Ellington
Sincerely, |
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07 Feb 09 - 09:21 AM (#2559937) Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs From: GUEST,Bob Coltman The ultimate #1 of all time: My Children Are Laughing Behind My Back !!! also these, if not already noted: Old Man Rocking the Cradle My Good Old Man Old Age Pension Check (as sung by Roy Acuff) That Silver-Haired Daddy of Mine (Gene Autry's classic) and just to get classical ballady, oh gosh, The Old Man Who Lived Near Hell (Farmer's Curst Wife) Bob |
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07 Feb 09 - 09:22 AM (#2559939) Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs From: GUEST,Bob Coltman How could I have forgotten that great Old Fart of the Century, Father Grumble who said he could do any work in a day that his wife could do in three? (We old gaffers learn to keep our mouths shut, but sometimes it takes a while.) |
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07 Feb 09 - 10:01 AM (#2559969) Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs From: SINSULL My Dad sang one called "Behind The Times". An old preacher if replaced by a younger man because he is too old fashioned. |
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07 Feb 09 - 10:08 AM (#2559971) Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs From: GUEST, topsie Old Rockin' Chair (Louis Armstrong) |
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07 Feb 09 - 10:10 AM (#2559973) Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs From: Stonebridge "The Oldest Swinger in Town" by Fred Wedlock |
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07 Feb 09 - 10:13 AM (#2559975) Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs From: GUEST,Bob Coltman Sorry to make multiple messages, but these things come in dribs and drabs (feature of age, get used to it): When You and I Were Young, Maggie Actually if you canvass the songs of the last third of the 19th century you'll find a bonanza of songs about old farts. For some reason that period, along with its sentimental classics about romance and lost love, was positively riveted on oldsters. Hmm ... a feature conspicuously missing in the Tops of the Pops at the moment, circa 2009. Wonder why ... No, I don't wonder why. 'Cause I don't think I wanna know. Bob |
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07 Feb 09 - 10:19 AM (#2559978) Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs From: GUEST, topsie "I can't do my bally bottom button up" |
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07 Feb 09 - 11:32 AM (#2560040) Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs From: topical tom Here's another one, "Waltzing Around in the Nude" by Dick McCormick. |
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07 Feb 09 - 12:14 PM (#2560081) Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs From: Leadfingers Stonebridge - Credit the WRITER not the thief - Oldest Swinger is Ed Pickford's song . |
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07 Feb 09 - 01:28 PM (#2560134) Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs From: Art Thieme From Forty To Sixty-five (as done by the New Lost City Ramblers) Art |
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07 Feb 09 - 03:35 PM (#2560253) Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs From: Stonebridge >Stonebridge - Credit the WRITER not the thief - Oldest Swinger is Ed Pickford's song < Consider it done. |
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07 Feb 09 - 05:23 PM (#2560335) Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs From: olddude I just don't look good naked anymore still makes me laugh ... great tune |
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07 Feb 09 - 05:49 PM (#2560356) Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs From: topical tom I agree with you, olddude. That is a really good song. So funny and with a great melody. |
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07 Feb 09 - 08:12 PM (#2560455) Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs From: Fossil Rollin' round the back of my mind is a song I heard when I was a lad. Can't remember it all (well I *am* getting on a bit now), but what I can get is this - Get Away Old Man, Get Away Chorus: For an old man he is old, an old man he is grey But a young man's heart is full of love, Get away old man, get away! Well I'd rather marry a young man with an apple in his hand Than to marry an old man with a hundert' acres o' land and so on. Does anyone else know any more? |
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07 Feb 09 - 08:44 PM (#2560486) Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs From: GUEST,DWR Good gosh, how can we do this without "Old Farts In Caravan Parks" by Australian John Williamson? You can hear a sample here. http://www.amazon.com/Old-Farts-In-Caravan-Parks/dp/B000THGLUM/ref=dm_cd_album_lnk Thought I might find the lyrics on line, but I didn't. I followed several of those notorious dead ends and finally gave up. Closest I got was at http://www.johnwilliamson.com.au/html/music.html where there are a number of his songs listed, but not that one it seems. |
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07 Feb 09 - 09:25 PM (#2560514) Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs From: Joe_F "I'm In the Sidings Now" by Ewan MacColl. |
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08 Feb 09 - 07:33 AM (#2560710) Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs From: GUEST,doc.tom I think you'll fuind that In The Sidings Now was written by Cyril Tawney and first sung on Westward Television the night after the Beeching Report (which recommended massive cutting of the British railway network)came out back in the 1960s! |
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08 Feb 09 - 07:57 AM (#2560725) Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs From: BB 'Didn't I Dance?' 'Take Your Time' by Pete Munday Barbara |
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08 Feb 09 - 08:01 AM (#2560731) Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs From: Georgiansilver 'Old Man River' could I suppose be considered an old wet fart song!!!! |
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08 Feb 09 - 09:09 AM (#2560769) Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs From: GUEST,keith Ferret The Old Miner by Johnson Ellwood Bonnie Bessie Logan, Trad sung by Ian Manuel Sair Fyel'd Hinny, Trad Old admirals by Al Stewart Old Man Inside A Young Man by Richard Thompson |
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09 Feb 09 - 08:55 AM (#2561630) Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs From: topical tom Refresh. |
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09 Feb 09 - 09:49 AM (#2561671) Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs From: SINSULL Goodnight Loving Trail |
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09 Feb 09 - 10:15 AM (#2561696) Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs From: Dave Sutherland The Banks of the Dee Man of the Earth - Bernie Parry My Old Man - Ewan MacColl (apologies if that was the one mentioned earlier) John Anderson My Jo |
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09 Feb 09 - 01:01 PM (#2561872) Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs From: KB in Iowa Arthritis Blues |
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09 Feb 09 - 02:26 PM (#2561973) Subject: Lyr Add: ONE OF THE HAS-BEENS From: JWB Haven't seen "Fiddler's Green" by John Connolly mentioned yet. Nor "Awkward as a New Chum" -- if that's the title. Aussie shearing song: I'm one of the has-beens, a shearer I mean. I once was a ringer and I used to shear clean. I could make the wool roll off easy, like soil from the plow, But you may not believe me because I can't do it now. CHORUS Now I'm awkward as a new chum, and used to the frown That the boss often shows me, saying, "Keep them blades down!" I shore with Pat Hogan, Bill Bride and Jack Gunn, Charlie Fergus, Tommy Leighton, and the Great Roaring Dunn. They sent from the Lockland the best they could find, Oh but not one among them could leave me behind. CHORUS Well, there's no use in complaining, I'll never say die, Though the days of fast shearing for me have gone by. I'll just take the world nice and easy, shear slowly and clean, And I merely have told you just what I have been. CHORUS Jerry |
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09 Feb 09 - 03:01 PM (#2562020) Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs From: BB And how can one forget 'Generations of Change' by Matt Armour, who passed away this morning? Barbara |
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09 Feb 09 - 05:49 PM (#2562188) Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs From: dick greenhaus Golden Wedding Day The Good Boy Silver Threads (the original, not the parody quoted above) |
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09 Feb 09 - 07:11 PM (#2562255) Subject: Lyr Add: GONE HOME (Bill Carlisle) From: Kenny B (inactive) Hi Fossil "Get away old man get away" is in the digitrad under G as "Get away old man" The songs "Last train to Glory" and Gone Home ASB John Herald of the Green Brial Boys lyrics & Music by Bill Carlisle All of my friends that I loved yesterday Gone home (they have gone home) Gone home (they have gone home) The songbird that sings in the dale seems to say Gone home (they have gone home) Gone home (they have gone home) Chorus…., They've joined the heavenly fold They're walking the streets of pure gold They left one by one As their work here was done Gone home (they have gone home) Gone home (they have gone home) Life here is lonely since they've gone before Gone home (they have gone home) Gone home (they have gone home) The old weeping willow that stands by the door Gone home (they have gone home) Gone home (they have gone home) [chorus] All of my friends that I loved yesterday Gone home (they have gone home) Gone home (they have gone home) The songbird that sings in the dale seems to say Gone home (they have gone home) Gone home (they have gone home) [chorus] From the review of Johm Heralds CD "Roll on John" Gone Home - a song by Bill dealing with the passing on of good friends. A quite powerful song and not at all maudlin. According to the notes, Herald first heard this song performed by Flatt & Scruggs, but had the song also in a copy of the Bill Clifton Song Book put out in the fifties. Kenny B |
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09 Feb 09 - 07:46 PM (#2562280) Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs From: Joe_F doc.tom: I apologize to the shades of Cyril Tawney & Ewan MacColl, of blessed memory, for confusing them. |
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09 Feb 09 - 08:30 PM (#2562323) Subject: Lyr Add: FREEWHEELING (Jim Reid) From: Tattie Bogle First heard this in my early 40s, when 50 (half a hunner) seemed awfully old: now it really seems quite juvenile! You can change the age to suit any level of Old Fartdom too! FREEWHEELING by Jim Reid I'm getting ower the hill it seems, though my hert it still feels young, They say when half a hunner's here, your flings should a' be flung. But I've some flungs I've yet tae fling afore I ends ma days, And so I don't want to hear you say that "Old, he's past it" phrase. Chorus Freewheeling noo, Freewheeling noo, gets easier every day, Just tak it slow, where'er ye go, freewheeling doon the brae. I used tae climb the highest hill, I used tae dae sae weel, But the view is bonnie, e'en frae here, ye're jist as high as ye feel. Chorus Freewheeling noo, Freewheeling noo, gets easier every day, Just tak it slow, where'er ye go, freewheeling doon the brae. My eyes are gettin' dimmer noo, and specs I ought tae wear, But there's some things I see clearer noo, and ye cannae ask for mair. Chorus Freewheeling noo, Freewheeling noo, gets easier every day, Just tak it slow, where'er ye go, freewheeling doon the brae. We've a' tae go a different road, though it may seem hard sometimes, So let's try to help oor neebour tae get ower his stiffest climbs. Chorus Freewheeling noo, Freewheeling noo, gets easier every day, Just tak it slow, where'er ye go, freewheeling doon the brae. Freewheeling noo, Freewheeling noo, gets easier every day, Just tak it slow, where'er ye go, freewheeling doon the brae. |
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09 Feb 09 - 08:42 PM (#2562336) Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs From: Jack Campin There are few verses of "Sucky bids me" adapted to love in an eventide home by Samuel Beckett, in "Malone Dies". They're all about going hand in hand to the cemetery. They manage to have it off by him folding his dick in half to get it in. Then she turns yellow and dies. I don't think Hallmark would have asked Beckett to design a Valentines card. |
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09 Feb 09 - 09:32 PM (#2562358) Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs From: Gulliver "What used to be my sex appeal Is now my water spout" Author unknown (?). |
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09 Feb 09 - 11:27 PM (#2562399) Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs From: Gurney Kiwi one: Bushman's Lament/Rimu and Rata. English Trad. The Life of a Man. English trad-like. Wind Up My Clock. Not sure of the correct title of any of these, they're not in my repertoire. I could find out if anyone is interested. |
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10 Feb 09 - 03:13 PM (#2563040) Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs From: BB I think the last one is already mentioned above as 'Take Your Time' by Pete Munday. There's one called 'Time, Time, Time' that Jeff Wesley, amongst others, sings. Barbara |
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10 Feb 09 - 07:30 PM (#2563305) Subject: Lyr Add: MY GOOD OLD MAN (from Burl Ives) From: Mo' Handy I suppose that My Good Old Man (Richard Dyer-Bennett, Burl Ives) qualifies as an old fart song. The anonymous author no doubt felt that one could be an old fart, even if dead. Maybe the fact that the woman does all the talking has something to do with it . . . Where are you a'going, my good old man? Where are you a'going, my honey, my lamb? Hunting. When are you coming back, my good old man? When are you coming back, my honey, my lamb? Saturday. Well, what do you want for your supper, my good old man? What do you want for your supper, my honey, my lamb? Eggs. Well, how many of 'em do you want, my good old man? How many of 'em do you want, my honey, my lamb? A bushel. But a bushel will kill you, my good old man. A bushel will kill you, my honey, my lamb. I don't mind. Well, where do you want to be buried, my good old man? Where do you want to be buried, my honey, my lamb? In the chimney corner. But the ashes will fall on you, my good old man. The ashes will fall on you, my honey, my lamb. Don't care if they do. Well, what are you going to do then, my good old man? What are you going to do then, my honey, my lamb? I'll haint ya. But a haint can't haint a haint, my good old man. A haint can't haint a haint, my honey, my lamb. |
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11 Feb 09 - 05:35 PM (#2564339) Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs From: topical tom Thanks for all these songs! What a great collection to listen to! Damn good work for old farts! (me too!) lol |
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11 Feb 09 - 08:41 PM (#2564496) Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs From: Joe_F "Time, gentlemen, time" surely also qualifies. |
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11 Feb 09 - 10:40 PM (#2564569) Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs From: Charley Noble C. Fox Smith composed several poems that have been rendered into songs that would seem to qualify. Mariquita: click here for lyrics and MP3 sample! There's also "Admiral Dugout, " "Shipkeeper," and "Mainsail Haul." The ultimate old fart song might be "The Blow at Witch's Hole" which is somewhere in the Mudcat threads as a song challenge (Methane Sinks Ships). Cheerily, Charley Noble |
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14 Feb 09 - 09:04 AM (#2566692) Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs From: topical tom "Mariquita: Thanks for the link. That's a really nice song, Charley. |
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14 Feb 09 - 09:21 AM (#2566703) Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs From: Charley Noble Topical Tom- You're more than welcome! I'm not sure where I got the tune; it's a composite but I'm not sure where all the elements are from other than "Rosen the Beau." Charley Noble |
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14 Feb 09 - 09:33 AM (#2566707) Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs From: Midchuck "A Couple More Years", written by Shel Silverstein & Dennis Locorriere; recorded by Dr. Hook and by Willie Nelson. Peter |
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26 Feb 09 - 09:13 PM (#2576902) Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs From: Tattie Bogle Somebody sang this one at the Middle Bar Singers' winter reunion last weekend: here is is, sung by lyric author, John Conolly, obviously based on the "Hard Times of Old England" but now becomes "the Grumpy Old Men of Old England". http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N0joRysAQ84 |
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26 Feb 09 - 11:27 PM (#2576966) Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs From: Artful Codger "Old Friends" by Simon & Garfunkel - still chokes me up... And "Eleanor Rigby" (sp?) by the Beatles "On Board a 98"? |
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26 Feb 09 - 11:48 PM (#2576973) Subject: Lyr Add: SHADY ACRES (Janis Ian) From: bobad Shady Acres Janis Ian So you've grown tired of your parents always hanging around Now they spoil your children and having grandparents is out Yes, and they raised you well but you wish to hell That they'd go away so you wouldn't have to pay for their food, Forget all the years when they paid for you. Chorus Send your mother to Shady Acres, send your father to Shady Acres, We'll take good care of them, you won't be aware of them, Send them to Shady Acres. Well if one of them's dead, don't worry your head, we have a matchmaker They can sit down and kvetch on the rest home steps while watching Green Acres Yes, if you don't want to visit, well there's no requisite We have foster sons and daughters to help all our boarders stop feeling blue Keep the checks coming and we won't bother you. Chorus Yes, here it's so peaceful, they die while they're sleeping, yes, right in their beds Now there's no need for worry, we have our own mortuary and a beautiful cemetery Yes, we are good people, who care for the feeble We've devoted or lives to the husbands and wives Who don't want their fathers around to be bothers So send 'em, we're respectable, and tax deductible. Final Chorus Send your mother to Shady Acres, send you father to Shady Acres, We'll take good care of them because we love them, Send them to Shady Acres. |
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27 Feb 09 - 05:24 AM (#2577066) Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs From: GUEST Is "The wind That shook The Barley" a REAL 'old fart' song? I'll get me incontinence pads Mike |
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27 Feb 09 - 08:15 AM (#2577143) Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs From: Jim Dixon OLDER'N EVERYBODY by Lou & Peter Berryman. OLD LOVE by Neal and Leandra. |
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27 Feb 09 - 08:59 AM (#2577173) Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs From: topical tom Thanks a lot, Jim, for that link to Lou and Peter Berryman singing "Older'n Than Everybody". I love their songs; always good for a laugh.Thanks also for all the neat songs contributed to this thread. |
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27 Feb 09 - 11:37 AM (#2577296) Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs From: GUEST Kieran Halpin's poignant 'Port of Call' No 60 year old sailor is wanted on the sea No 40 years of sailing will get them to agree....... And all those years of working were they worth it after all when there's only one more voyage just one more port of call Apologies if I've remembered the odd word incorrectly. |
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27 Feb 09 - 12:45 PM (#2577388) Subject: Lyr Add: OLD FARTS IN CARAVAN PARKS (J Williamson) From: Jim Dixon Found in a blog: OLD FARTS IN CARAVAN PARKS John Williamson Oh, happy travellers are we, Around Australia in a caravan. The kids are gone. we have no plan. You navigate on your engine, man. Yes, happy campers are we. And king of the road are we. Up a mountain road we wind With a mile of traffic stuck behind. Two friendlier folk you wouldn't find. Oh, cheery old chooks are we. We hit the road and sold the home, Like a pair of drovers round we roam. No more winter and no more phone. We're wild and fancy free, And a pair of toilers are we. We'll pick fruit or prune a tree. Any old job, doesn't worry me. It'll cover our fuel and the camping fee. Frugal old farts are we. And a dear old chook are you, In your terry towelling dressing gown, The one you bought in the country town. Yours is pink and mine is brown. Threadbare old farts are we. Oh, jeez! We'll have to pull up again soon, darling. And a tidy little unit are we. Everything has a place to be: A jar of coffee and a tin of tea, A life for two but not for three. Oh, sexy old tarts are we. And we always camp just near the loo Cos I have to go at midnight too. Dribble dribble dribble dribble's all I do. Ah, over the hill are we. |
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27 Feb 09 - 05:54 PM (#2577495) Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs From: brezhnev leonard cohen's tower of song - "my friends are gone and my hair is grey, I ache in the places where I used to play..." |
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28 Feb 09 - 05:12 PM (#2578090) Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs From: Jim Dixon We've been down this road before, it seems: Songs about getting older? Songs about getting really old? Songs about young and old Songs about birthdays and/or age Searching For Retirement Songs Songs about getting really old - 2 Song for retirement party? Songs about retirement Geezer Music |
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01 Mar 09 - 03:23 AM (#2578359) Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs From: Genie I haven't yet figured out whether this song is about old songs about fart(s) (ing) or about songs for and by people who could be called old farts. ??? |
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02 Mar 09 - 08:09 PM (#2579854) Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs From: Artful Codger Then maybe senility's setting in, Genie. ;-} |
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02 Mar 09 - 11:26 PM (#2579950) Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs From: topical tom The thread is the definition that you wrote plus songs ABOUT those who could be called old farts. |
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02 Mar 09 - 11:53 PM (#2579983) Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs From: catspaw49 Obviously more than a few old farts on this thread since several songs have multiple mentions with the subsequent posters seemingly noy realizing their song was already listed....>LOL>.....Sure sign of OFS (Old Fart Syndrome). One song with repeated mentions is "When You and I Were Young (Maggie)", a wonderful old chestnut which was also suggested by Sandy Paton as the greatest love song of all time on a long ago love song thread. It certainly fits both categories......... Aging and Love are powerful themes but when combined can be almost overwhelming..........I know that as I've gotten older its almost impossible to sing this one without tears......... And now we are aged and grey, Maggie The trials of life nearly done Let us sing of the days that are gone, Maggie When you and I were young. Spaw |
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03 Mar 09 - 03:02 AM (#2580030) Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs From: Fossil Just re-visited this thread. Thanks JoeClones, there are the complete words to a song ("Get Away Old Man" - see above) that has been hovering in the back of my consciousness for more than 40 years now! Another one of the myriad reasons why I stay a Mudcatter! |
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03 Mar 09 - 12:19 PM (#2580356) Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs From: BB That made me feel quite tearful. At Matt Armour's funeral last Thursday, his 80-year old sister Margaret spoke, and was saying that, at her birthday celebration, Matt sang 'When you and I were young, Maggie.' So not necessarily to be sung to a partner... Barbara |
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03 Mar 09 - 03:55 PM (#2580525) Subject: Lyr Add: TOO POOPED TO POP (Chuck Berry) From: Trommel "Too Pooped to Pop", Chuck Berry Casey is an old man who wants to be a teen He goes to all the dances and they call him cha-cha king He cha-chas when the band is playin' rock and roll He tries to keep in time but the beat leaves him cold. (Chorus): Because hes too pooped to pop, too old a soul Hips gettin' weaker when he tries to do the stroll And every time his feet get to go in one way Here comes a new dance and its goin' to stray. Chicks told Casey, You better move man, This is only a one night stand Casey wasn't in time but he was dancin' awhile Till a cramp caught his leg and he had to change his style. 2x Chorus Casey finally learned to do the hoochie koo This might have been fine back in '22 Now, I'm gonna give you fellows just a little tip If you wanna keep your girl you'd better get hip Or, you'll be too pooped to pop, too old a soul You hips are gettin' weaker when you'll try to do the stroll And every time your feet gettin' to go in one way Here comes a new dance you'll be left to stray. |
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03 Mar 09 - 07:34 PM (#2580678) Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs From: JennieG Not a song, but here is a poem "Warning" by Jenny Joseph: When I am an old woman I shall wear purple With a red hat which doesn't go, and doesn't suit me. And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves And satin sandals, and say we've no money for butter. I shall sit down on the pavement when I'm tired And gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells And run my stick along the public railings And make up for the sobriety of my youth. I shall go out in my slippers in the rain And pick flowers in other people's gardens And learn to spit. You can wear terrible shirts and grow more fat And eat three pounds of sausages at a go Or only bread and pickle for a week And hoard pens and pencils and beermats and things in boxes. But now we must have clothes that keep us dry And pay our rent and not swear in the street And set a good example for the children. We must have friends to dinner and read the papers. But maybe I ought to practice a little now? So people who know me are not too shocked and surprised When suddenly I am old, and start to wear purple. Cheers JennieG |
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09 Mar 09 - 04:28 PM (#2584957) Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs From: BobKnight "Time Tears Awa'" a fine Scottish song, and a Country song from, I think, Toby Keith. "I'm Not As Good As I Once Was, But I'm As Good Once As I Ever Was." |
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09 Mar 09 - 04:31 PM (#2584963) Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs From: BobKnight Sorry, that should be "Time Wears Awa'" |
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09 Mar 09 - 04:53 PM (#2584981) Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs From: bseed(charleskratz) It's rather interesting that "When You and I Were Young, Maggie" was written by a man in his early twenties for his 19-year-old fiancee who was dying of tuberculosis. I don't think I saw a mention of John Prine's "Hello In There." And, of course, there is "Grammaw's in the Cellar": Oh, Grammaw's in the cellar Oh, Lordy, can't you smell her Bakin' biscuits on her damned old dirty stove In her eye there is some matter That keeps dripping in the batter And she whistles while the (sniff) runs down her nose Down her nose Down her nose Yes, she whistles while the (sniff) runs down her nose In her eye there is some matter That keeps dripping in the batter And she whistles while the (sniff) runs down her nose Charles (one of the older farts around) |
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09 Mar 09 - 05:50 PM (#2585060) Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs From: Genie Codger: "Then maybe senility's setting in, Genie. ;-}" Nah. I think it set in a few years back, Codg. Ennyhoo, it seems we have songs written OF the old farts, BY the old farts, and FOR the old farts, right? Abe Lincoln would be so proud. (And, yeah, we do already have threads in all those categories, so I won't re-list the ones from those threads.) Gotta go. I have to go sing for and with a bunch of old farts (and a few not-so-old farts) at a nursing and rehab center this afternoon. (Somebody's sure to request "Baby Got Back.") |
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09 Mar 09 - 08:46 PM (#2585211) Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs From: Joe_F On reflection, I found the stanza about the ladies in "Time, Gentlemen, Time" to be mildly ungallant, or, as we now say, politically incorrect. So I have come up with the following ambisexual version: Here's to our limbs, our lusty young limbs, That used to put on such a show. Here's to our guts, our bosoms and butts -- What was it that made them grow? It was time &c. |
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09 Mar 09 - 11:43 PM (#2585274) Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs From: topical tom IMO one of the most moving tributes to love between "old farts" is "Stars in Their Crown" by Garnet Rogers. |
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09 Mar 09 - 11:49 PM (#2585275) Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs From: topical tom "Stars in Their Crown". Sorry! I just found that it was on utube. |
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10 Mar 09 - 05:33 AM (#2585377) Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs From: BK Lick Are You Tired Of Me Darling? Audio of Mother Maybelle, Sarah, and AP here. |
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10 Mar 09 - 10:10 AM (#2585576) Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs From: topical tom BK Lick: Beautiful! I have heard that song many times but I never realized that the Carter Family had sung it. |
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02 Nov 10 - 10:25 AM (#3021580) Subject: ADD: Grumpy Old Men of Old England (Connolly/Meek) From: Ian Hendrie The following was transcribed from John Connolly's excellent CD of the same name. This is the polite version. The last track on the CD is rather ruder. I suggest you buy the CD to get those words. The Grumpy Old Men of Old England John Connolly and Bill Meek Oh, we've come here tonight for to grouse and to groan We're senile delinquents outcast and alone And what we like best is a bloody good moan We're the grumpy old men of old England And we're glad to be grumpy old men Oh, we've played the 'Wild Rover' as years tumbled by We've chased all the women and made the sparks fly We still chase 'em now but we can't recall why We're the . . . Now we don't like loud music, iPod or CD Hip-hop or house, and between you and me We reckon that rap should be spelt with a 'c' We're the . . . Now we don't do IT and we don't go on-line 'Cos internet access can make you go blind Does broadband mean trousers with waist 49 For those . . . Now whether you like it or whether you'll not Soon digital TV will be what you've got There's a two digit signal that we like a lot We're the . . . Now we used to be hippies, long hair and no tie We'd smoke wacky baccy and gaze at the sky Now the old Stanner stair-lift is how we get high We're the . . . 24 hour drinking and round the clock beer Now our poor old bladder won't take it I fear 24 hour peeing is already her For the . . . Our cholesterol's high, our testosterone's low So off to the doctor's we grumpily go How they check our prostate you don't want to know We're the . . . So the tele's all crap and the weather is worse We sit by the fire and chunter and curse Can't even be bothered to finish this verse |
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02 Nov 10 - 11:35 AM (#3021634) Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs From: MGM·Lion Another by Sydney Carter is There Isn't Much Fun For A Mixed-up Old Man; one of so many songs to the Villikins tune. It'as in the British Library archive sung by George Belton of all people! ~Michael~ |
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02 Nov 10 - 12:22 PM (#3021688) Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs From: dick greenhaus There was Too Old to Cut The Mustard, magically recorded by Marlene Dietrich and Rosmary Clooney with harpsichord accompaniment. And my favorite, The Good Boy. Good Boy Lemuel F. Parton I have led a good life, full of peace and quiet I shall have an old age, full of rum and riot. I have been a good boy, wed to work and study I shall be an old man, ribald coarse and bloody. I have never slit throats, even when I yearned to. Never sang dirty songs that my fancy turned to. I have been a nice boy, and done what was expected I shall die and old bum, loved but unrespected. Recorded by Carl Sandburg |
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02 Nov 10 - 01:39 PM (#3021778) Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs From: GUEST,Alan Whittle Found this one here http://www.traditionalmusic.co.uk/song-midis/Farting_Contest.htm The Farting Contest Play MIDI The Farting Contest I'll tell you a story that is sure to please, Of a great farting contest at Burton-on-Tease, Where all the best farters paraded the field, To compete in a contest for various shields. Some tighten their bumcheeks and fart up the scale, To compete for a cup and a barrel of ale, Whilst others whose arseholes are biggest and strongest, Compete in the section for loudest and longest. Now, this year's event had drawn quite a big crowd, And the betting was even on Mrs. McDowd, For it had appeared in the evening edition, That this lady's arse was in perfect condition. Now old Mrs. Jones had a perfect backside, Half a forest of hairs with a wart on each side, And she fancied her chance of winning with ease, Having trained on a diet of cabbage and peas. The vicar arrived and ascended the stand, And thus he addressed this remarkable band: "The contest is on as is shown on the bills, We've precluded the use of injections and pills." Mrs. Bingle arrived amid roars of applause, And promptly proceeded to pull off her drawers, For though she'd no chance in the farting display, She'd the prettiest bottom you'd see on this day. Now, young Mrs. Porter was backed for a place, Though she'd ovten been placed in the deepest disgrace, By dropping a fart on a Sunday in church, And disturbing the sermon of Reverend McGurch. The ladies lined up at the signal to start, And winning the toss, Mrs. Jones took first fart, The people around stood in silence and wonder, While her wireless transmitted gale warnings and thunder. Now Mrs. McDowd reckoned nothing of this, She'd had some weak tea and was all wind and piss, She took up her place with her arse opened wide, But unluckily s*** and was disqualified. Then young Mrs. Porter was called to the front, And started by doing a wonderful stunt, She took a deep breath, and clenching her hands, She blew the whole roof off the popular stands. That left Mrs. Bingle who shyly appeared, And smiled at the clergy who lustily cheered, And though it was reckoned her chances were small, She ran out a winner, outfarting them all. With hands on her hips she stood farting alone, And the crowd stood amazed at the sweetness of tone, And the clergy agreed without hindrance or pause, And said, "First to Mrs. Bingle, now pull up your drawers." But with muscles well-tensed and legs full apart, She started a final and glorious fart, Beginning with Chopin, and ending with Wing, She went right up the scale to God Save the King. She went to the rostrum with maidenly gait, And took from the vicar a set of gold plate, Then she turned to the vicar with sweetness sublime, And smilingly said, "Come see me sometime." XX |
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02 Nov 10 - 03:36 PM (#3021881) Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs From: GUEST,Seonaid Here's a mixed bag, in no particular order: Golden Years Believe Me, if All Those Endearing Young Charms (and just about everything by Thomas Moore) Ye Cannae Shove Yer Granny off a Bus Streets of London Seven Old Ladies Locked in the Lavat'ry Come Under My Plaidie |
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02 Nov 10 - 09:10 PM (#3022160) Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs From: Tattie Bogle A parody of "The Song of the Fishgutters" (sorry Ewan!) SONG OF THE BABY BOOMERS Chorus Come a' ye Baby Boomers, aye, it's come awa' wi' me, Frae Edinburgh and Glesga, and frae Perth and frae Dundee, Frae Lithgae and frae Aiberdeen an' a' the country roon, We're awa' tae hit the festivals, mak stooshies in yer toon. We dinna rise sae early noo, we're getting awfy lazy, But breakfast is at half-past eight, tae us that seems quite crazy, We've cool bags fu' o' chocolate, bottles o' wine and Snak-a Jacks, So we'll no be dying o' hunger when we tak oor late-night snacks. The journey's sometimes lang, but we get there in the end, We dinna dae the campin' noo, it'd drive ye roon the bend. We'd raither hae a comfy room wi' fine views o' the sea, So we're spending all oor pension on a fancy B & B. No sae early in the morning, but, aye, late intae the nicht, Your voice is getting croaky and you look an unco sicht, Ye'll be reaching for the Fishermen's Friends tae sook wi' morning tay, And you'll wish ye hadnae sung a thoosand sangs jist yesterday. Chorus There's mandolins and fiddlers there, and bodhrans and guitars, There's singers and there's diddlers, and folk propping up the bars, And you'll wish the Wild Rover had been slaughtered in great pain By the time that "No Nay Never" is being belted oot again. We're growing old disgracefully o' that there is nae doot, Rude slogans on oor T-shirts, and colourful breeks tae boot, We are the Baby Boomers, and Swinging Sixties too, So you'd best be on your guard when we come festivalling you. Chorus We've festivalled in Lerwick and in Stornoway and Lorient, And everywhere we've festivalled we ha'e the greatest carry-on, Whitby, Sidmouth, we've traivelled up and doon, But the very best festival o' all is here in (XXXXXX) toon. |
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03 Nov 10 - 12:40 AM (#3022235) Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs From: Muttley Old Farts In Caravan Parks (mentioned) Father & Son (Stevens) Waltzing With Bears (alzheimers) Diamantina Drover The Old Bark Hut Flash Jack From Gundagai (inferred) Wrinkles (Williamson) A Bushman Can't Survive " Cootamundra Wattle " You And My Guitar " Another Williamson song I can't recall the title of that he wrote about an old lady travelling on the Indian-Pacific |
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03 Nov 10 - 06:29 AM (#3022370) Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs From: Leadfingers 100 |
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03 Nov 10 - 12:22 PM (#3022606) Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs From: PHJim Here's an old thread (back when I was still known as GUEST.Jim) that has the same topic. thread.cfm?threadid=114470#2450142 |
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03 Nov 10 - 12:28 PM (#3022614) Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs From: PHJim Here's a Todd Snider song that fits the bill: Age Like Wine |
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04 Nov 10 - 09:12 AM (#3023318) Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs From: C-flat TOO OLD TO DIE YOUNG Murray Grand Gmaj9 Gm7 Let me run in front of trucks, smash the mirrors on my walls, Gmaj9 Am7 Bm7 Cmaj7 Bm7 Let me puff away and choke, sniff a little coke, and have myself a E9 ball. Am7 D9 G What the hell! I'm too old to die young. Let me walk against the lights. Let me drive while I am drunk. Let me be a little hip, take a little trip, and try a little junk. After all, I'm too old to die young. Cm7 F9 Let me pick up strangers in the street, Bm7 E9 Sleep with ev'ryone I meet, (middle) Am7 D7-9 Sleep in dives along the docks, Eb9+11 vodka on the rocks Let me stay a little stoned who's to know and who's to care let me take another trip, be a little hip, breathe polluted air What the hell, when your spring has been sprung, after all I'm too old to die young. Let me sing away all my blues, fall in pot-holes if I choose When people say I'm a sight, they're probably right! (middle) Let my face begin to fall let it wrinkle like a prune well I know my liver's gone, when I'm lying on the floor of some saloon Give me speed, give me hash, let me fly, let me crash, drop the bomb on my head, not a word will be said, not a moan, not a sigh, as I kiss my assets goodbye, after all I'm too old to die young. |
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04 Nov 10 - 02:51 PM (#3023579) Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs From: PHJim C-flat, The Todd Snider song to which I posted the link has the lines: Old Timer, Old Timer, I'm too late to die young now. Same sentiment as your contribution |
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04 Nov 10 - 08:23 PM (#3023888) Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs From: Sandrolin I just found this old thread and couldn't resist.. I'm My Own Grandpa...luv Utah philips cover tho there are more... then maybe *Time Is Watching The Show...a Michael Hurley gem .. he might call it something else...(that's a stand out line in my memory.. *oh and the Fugs second to the last CD ...put out I believe around 2002/3 was dedicated in theme entirely to sexatarians.. |
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20 Nov 10 - 12:12 PM (#3036749) Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs From: PHJim What? The Fugs were still around in 2002/3? I wonder how many of the original members took part. |
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20 Nov 10 - 12:31 PM (#3036773) Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs From: PHJim The main Fugs who stick out in my mind were Sanders, Kupferberg and Weaver, but I seem to recall hearing that Stefan Grossman was a member for a while. A friend of mine tried to hire The Fugs to play a show at MacMaster University in Hamilton, Ontario sometime in the sixties. The Mac Arts Week sent him to New York city to talk to Tuli. When he asked that they not play a few songs; Coca Cola Douche was one, Tuli told him to,F off, so he hired Andy Warhol's Exploding Plastic Inevitable featuring the Velvet Underground with Nico. I guess all of these guys qualify as old farts now, as do I. |
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20 Nov 10 - 01:38 PM (#3036832) Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs From: GUEST,Sandrolin Oh...Yes the Fugs remain active.. I beleive it was 2002 when they had their grande reunion with their CD release .. (go to the Fugs website). Sad to report that Tuli passed last spring after several strokes and complications.... but actively making recordings on Youtube on through the end. There have been all kinds of Tuli memorial acitvities... and previously unreleased material newly available. Far too much to get into like this. If you are interested contact me privately. Tuli never allowed himslef to become an old fart... it's a state of mind:-) Sandrolin |
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20 Nov 10 - 03:09 PM (#3036897) Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs From: kendall Over the hill to the poor house (Really sappy) |
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26 Sep 18 - 12:14 PM (#3952962) Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs From: GUEST,gal198 id love to sing this song, ive heard it sung once but can only remember the tune to the chorus can u help ? |
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26 Sep 18 - 03:46 PM (#3953016) Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs From: Helen Well, that's not what I thought this thread was about: Buddy Bolden Blues I thought I heard buddy bolden shout. Open up that window, let that bad air out ! Open up that window, let the foul air out ! I thought I heard him say ! |
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26 Sep 18 - 04:46 PM (#3953023) Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs From: The Sandman https://www.youtube.com/watch?reload=9&v=SFF4ANolpAc |
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26 Sep 18 - 04:49 PM (#3953024) Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs From: Helen As far as I can see this one hasn't been included. When You Were Sweet Sixteen performed by The Fureys. I know it's a soppy song, but I have always liked it. When this thread first appeared 9 years ago I don't remember seeing it, or maybe I didn't identify with the Old Farts, but now I am one. Time flies. I like Vin Garbutt's version of Man of the Earth. Hearing it always brings me back to his performance at Newcastle, Oz - in the early '80's? Also, Carrickfergus (Jim McCann with the Dubliners) - an old man looking back on his life, especially the regrets he may have for past decisions. Speaking of regrets: My Way - Mike (Seth McFarlane) (Sorry, I never was a fan of Sinatra.) |
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26 Sep 18 - 05:14 PM (#3953034) Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs From: topical tom Another song that some would describe as a tear jerker (and they wouldn't be wrong) is this fine old https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1O-CI26WJnM chestnut "The Faded Old Sun Bonnet"https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=the+faded+old+sun+bonnet |
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26 Sep 18 - 05:35 PM (#3953036) Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs From: topical tom Actually, there is a verse which is left out in the version which I provided: Hard work, hard luck and worry were all my mother knew Until the day she laid her burden down. Her tired old hands were folded, her work on earth was through, She'd exchanged that old sun bonnet for a crown. |
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27 Sep 18 - 03:38 AM (#3953098) Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs From: GUEST,Jerry John Prine’s Hello in There deals with old age poignantly, and also ranks as one of the saddest songs too. Comic songs about getting old are much easier to write, such as this one of mine: Now I’m an old pensioner but what do I care I’ve spent all my savings on an electric armchair I groan when I stand up and groan in the seat No coins for the meter, I’ve been sat here all week With a grant from the Council. I got a stairlift I live in a bungalow, so it’s scarcely a gift I ride on my monorail, around my ground floor But the fun is short lived, I can’t open the door I went to the school gate, to meet my grandson I had the wrong specs on and I grabbed the wrong one His Dad was a builder, at excuses he scoffed He knocked through my downstairs, converted my loft My joints give me trouble, especially my pins Despite best endeavours they won’t walk passed inns They suggest new hip joints I might like to try I said I prefer my own local, it’s really close by I agreed to steel implants, but one leg at a time And the cheapest of steel, the surgeons could find I trigger alarms now, each time I pass by And can switch TV channels just be slapping my thigh Whilst waiting the next leg, I’m rather bereft I walk round in circles and can only turn left My route to the ale house is just a short stride But when I’m returning it’s more like five miles I’m showered with junk mail, they all want my cash My official post’s lost amidst all the trash I mixed up my Tax Form with my bowel screening kit And returned to the Taxman my samples of...what he normally sends me. There are more verses, but you get the drift...... |
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27 Sep 18 - 06:57 PM (#3953280) Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs From: frogprince Unless I missed it, we got all this way without anyone mentioning Michael Smith's "The Dutchman". |
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28 Sep 18 - 11:02 AM (#3953405) Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs From: Jack Campin I was just about to post about that one. Another: Bonnie Bessie Logan. |
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28 Sep 18 - 12:14 PM (#3953420) Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs From: GUEST,Modette My oldest brother is a Captain Beefheart fan and for some reason this title has stuck in my head (I wish it hadn't). Old Fart at Play |
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29 Sep 18 - 02:15 AM (#3953543) Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs From: Helen This is not about songs, but definitely relates to getting older, and being less inclined to keep my opinions to myself and go out with a bang and not a whimper. Do a Google image search on Aunty Acid. Be prepared to spend some time looking at the cartoons because I personally find it addictive. Sometimes I open the Google image page for Aunty Acid when I am at work, especially if the nearby yakkety-yakkers are in overdrive. The pointed relevance of the cartoons make me laugh but also act as an antidote to some other people's annoying habits. |
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02 Oct 18 - 01:59 AM (#3954143) Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs From: GUEST,paperback Old Farts & Jackasses (Brandon Fulson) YouTube |
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03 Oct 18 - 06:32 PM (#3954547) Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs From: David W The Hearse Song, from Harley Poe would seem appropriate. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wSB9lJnuoEU |
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06 Oct 18 - 11:42 AM (#3955080) Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs From: CupOfTea Does middle-aged count as close enough? Bob Gibson & Shel Silverstein did an album of "middle aged guy" songs many years back. Messing Around I think is the title. If I can find it (or haven't given it away to someone who would cherish it) I'll check out how age-appropriate it is. Joanne in Cleveland |
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06 Oct 18 - 07:20 PM (#3955173) Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs From: BobKnight I wrote this song this year. It's called, "A Nice Auld Man," and is a "lonely hearts" type song. Oh dear "Word" doesn't like any programme apart from itself - so this may turn out like a dogs breakfast!! A Nice Auld Man Copyright: R. Knight, 9/6/2017 I fell in love wi an affa bonny woman, Wha telt me that she didna wint me. She swore she loved me - syne, she went and changed her mind, Said go and find some ither woman - forget me. So broken herted I set oot, tae hae a look aboot, But nane compares wi that lassie in my eyes. I’ve lookit up and lookit doon, I’ve trauchled roon aboot the toon, But noo, I think it’s time tae advertise. Chorus: So if yer looking for a man, a nice auld man, wha looks an affa lot like me, If yer intelligent and smert, an’ can fix my broken hert, and yer easy on the eye forbye, Then yer whit I’m looking for, so let us mak a plan, if yer looking for a nice auld man. Solo I s’pose I hinna got much chance, lookin for romance, I’m mair the scruffy sort, than smert or debonaire. But I’m tidy roon the hoose, I’m as quiet as a moose, In fact ye’d hardly ken that I was there. I wash and use deodorant, I dinna think I stink, I’m very low maintenance, I neither smoke nor drink. So if ye tak me on, never fear ye’ve drapt a clanger, At my age, I’ll nae be here for too much langer. Chorus: So if yer looking for a man, a nice auld man, wha looks an affa lot like me, If yer intelligent and smert, an’ can fix my broken hert, easy on the eye forbye, Yer jist whit I’m looking for, so let us mak a plan, if yer looking for a nice auld man. If yer a widow on yer ain, a wee bit lonely, or a nice little divorcee, Yer jist whit I’m looking for, so let us mak a plan, if yer looking for a nice auld man. Yer jist whit I’m looking for, so let us mak a plan, if yer looking for a nice auld man. |
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06 Oct 18 - 07:21 PM (#3955176) Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs From: BobKnight Bugger me, it's worse than I thought - just forget it folks. :( It will be on my next CD anyway. |
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06 Oct 18 - 07:57 PM (#3955182) Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs From: GUEST,Lou Judson Copy from the word and put it in an email. Then copy that and post it here. It might look better! I saw this thread and wondered how many old songs there were about farting! Glad to see it is a bit more civlized than that. :-) |
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07 Oct 18 - 11:01 AM (#3955265) Subject: RE: Old Fart Songs From: David C. Carter Rockin'Chair. The Band |