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09 Feb 09 - 02:13 PM (#2561951) Subject: Folklore: Folk Police go public From: Les in Chorlton In an attempt to improve the public face of folk music HM Folk Police have decided to go public. We will be recruiting new Agents to enter premises where it is claimed that Folk Music can be heard. Using guidance from Offuk we will make judgments and .............. well I cannot be too specific at this stage. Applicants are asked to post their CVs here. They should describe what they might find offensive and how it might be dealt with. L in C Driving up standards everywhere |
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09 Feb 09 - 02:17 PM (#2561955) Subject: RE: Folklore: Folk Police go public From: Banjiman Looking forward to having my collar felt! (ooh Mrs) |
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09 Feb 09 - 02:20 PM (#2561957) Subject: RE: Folklore: Folk Police go public From: Stu I've already had my Artistic Licence revoked, so I'm not qualified to express an opinion. |
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09 Feb 09 - 02:22 PM (#2561967) Subject: RE: Folklore: Folk Police go public From: Rifleman (inactive) not.......The Folk Police? oi 'ang on a sec, there's a bloke on the landing with 'is finger in 'is ear'ole... |
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09 Feb 09 - 02:38 PM (#2561987) Subject: RE: Folklore: Folk Police go public From: Spleen Cringe THE FOLK POLICE... |
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09 Feb 09 - 02:38 PM (#2561988) Subject: RE: Folklore: Folk Police go public From: GUEST,Phil Beer Aha. Will they be armed and will they therefore be 'Sharpes Rifles'? |
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09 Feb 09 - 02:46 PM (#2561998) Subject: RE: Folklore: Folk Police go public From: MartinRyan Or will more than their feet be flat? Regards |
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09 Feb 09 - 02:50 PM (#2562004) Subject: RE: Folklore: Folk Police go public From: DMcG I'm prepared to volunteer as a foot-soldier. I will specialise in "Who will shoe your pretty little foot?", "Your pretty little feet, they tread so neat" and other pedestrian songs. |
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09 Feb 09 - 02:52 PM (#2562009) Subject: RE: Folklore: Folk Police go public From: Lonesome EJ I was once arrested for playing a Merle Travis song which I claimed to be traditional. I also did some time for performing a Beatles song at a Bluegrass Session. My other infractions are numerous, but I tell you this: You'll never take me alive!! |
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09 Feb 09 - 02:53 PM (#2562010) Subject: RE: Folklore: Folk Police go public From: Jim Carroll Oh dear, Here come the mind-numbs to tell us what we should or should not talk about Jim Carroll |
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09 Feb 09 - 02:53 PM (#2562011) Subject: RE: Folklore: Folk Police go public From: VirginiaTam Coed Naked Folk - where everyone's G (string) is dropped. |
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09 Feb 09 - 02:54 PM (#2562012) Subject: RE: Folklore: Folk Police go public From: Jim Carroll Ps I was going to say 'think' but their imagination doesn't stretch that far Jim Carroll |
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09 Feb 09 - 02:57 PM (#2562013) Subject: RE: Folklore: Folk Police go public From: Rifleman (inactive) Well spotted there Mr Beer! |
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09 Feb 09 - 02:58 PM (#2562015) Subject: RE: Folklore: Folk Police go public From: Rifleman (inactive) THE FOLK POLICE... they'e only got 4 "friends" but then again what do you expect? |
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09 Feb 09 - 03:09 PM (#2562027) Subject: RE: Folklore: Folk Police go public From: Anne Lister I'm under deep cover, so they won't get me.... |
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09 Feb 09 - 03:09 PM (#2562028) Subject: RE: Folklore: Folk Police go public From: Folkiedave I knew it was you Les. It's a fair cop. |
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09 Feb 09 - 03:34 PM (#2562058) Subject: RE: Folklore: Folk Police go public From: Jack Campin I have once been stopped at a folk festival by two young ladies carrying ID cards which identified them as officers of the Kilt Police, charged with checking whether men wearing kilts were violating regimental standards underneath. |
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09 Feb 09 - 03:38 PM (#2562063) Subject: RE: Folklore: Folk Police go public From: John MacKenzie I demand truncheon vouchers. |
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09 Feb 09 - 03:46 PM (#2562073) Subject: RE: Folklore: Folk Police go public From: Backwoodsman ROFLMAO Giok! |
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09 Feb 09 - 04:01 PM (#2562092) Subject: RE: Folklore: Folk Police go public From: Gurney The Folk Police! I clicked the link, and they are very bloody well undercover. Most of them play INSTRUMENTS!!! Can't trust anyone, nowadays. |
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09 Feb 09 - 04:02 PM (#2562093) Subject: RE: Folklore: Folk Police go public From: Spleen Cringe I demand truncheon vouchers And I thought you were just pleased to see me... |
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09 Feb 09 - 04:24 PM (#2562113) Subject: RE: Folklore: Folk Police go public From: GUEST,Winger My, my. I see that at least one member of the constabulary has already answered the call to arms. |
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09 Feb 09 - 04:25 PM (#2562115) Subject: RE: Folklore: Folk Police go public From: Folkiedave Bloody Hell, Arsenal Manager posting on here as a guest. Anyone told (Arsenal Mad) Alan Bearman? |
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09 Feb 09 - 04:32 PM (#2562122) Subject: RE: Folklore: Folk Police go public From: Dave Sutherland Is he still their manager? These days I would check every 5 minutes!! |
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09 Feb 09 - 04:33 PM (#2562125) Subject: RE: Folklore: Folk Police go public From: Richard Bridge OOh, missus - can we have some of those strapping lady police from Benny Hill and/or the Two Ronnies? They will overlook the occasional sheep won't they? That is traditional isn't it? "Now I'm a bachelor And live with my sheep And I work at the weaver's trade And every time I pluck A little bit of wool It reminds me of a fair young maid..." |
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09 Feb 09 - 05:01 PM (#2562147) Subject: RE: Folklore: Folk Police go public From: Folkiedave Alan Bearman and Lau? He was at the Folk Awards! |
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09 Feb 09 - 05:06 PM (#2562151) Subject: RE: Folklore: Folk Police go public From: Les in Chorlton Just in case you think the FP and Offuk are not serious, we have just removed Double Agent Scolari from deep cover at Chelsea FC Beware A Friend, in Chorlton |
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09 Feb 09 - 05:12 PM (#2562161) Subject: RE: Folklore: Folk Police go public From: skipy I woll wok in the fronch siction wath Rene P.C. Skipy |
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09 Feb 09 - 05:27 PM (#2562174) Subject: RE: Folklore: Folk Police go public From: Folkiedave Just in case you think the FP and Offuk are not serious, we have just removed Double Agent Scolari from deep cover at Chelsea FC Any chance of you removing Double treble agent Blackwell from Sheffield United? 96 years of history down the drain on Saturday? Blackwell out. (Is this the football message board?) |
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09 Feb 09 - 05:38 PM (#2562182) Subject: RE: Folklore: Folk Police go public From: Les in Chorlton This is a message board? What's the message then Dave. |
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09 Feb 09 - 05:41 PM (#2562185) Subject: RE: Folklore: Folk Police go public From: MartinRyan Not so much a football message board as a "ball-hopping" one, I reckon. Regards |
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09 Feb 09 - 07:46 PM (#2562282) Subject: RE: Folklore: Folk Police go public From: TheSnail 'ELLO! 'ELLO! ELLO! That was the chorus by the way. |
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09 Feb 09 - 07:59 PM (#2562294) Subject: RE: Folklore: Folk Police go public From: Leadfingers Another thread for ALL serious Banjo players to keep WELL clear of !! |
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09 Feb 09 - 08:19 PM (#2562318) Subject: RE: Folklore: Folk Police go public From: TheSnail Leadfingers serious Banjo players Er? Sorry, you've lost me. |
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09 Feb 09 - 08:44 PM (#2562337) Subject: RE: Folklore: Folk Police go public From: Richard Bridge A policeman's lot is not a happy one... Happy One. |
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10 Feb 09 - 05:01 AM (#2562481) Subject: RE: Folklore: Folk Police go public From: Bryn Pugh If you can't fight - wear a big hat. (Mancunian in joke . . . ) I'll get my helmet. |
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10 Feb 09 - 05:23 AM (#2562491) Subject: RE: Folklore: Folk Police go public From: Folkiedave serious banjo players= oxymoron (can an oxymoron have three words?) Word police - help....... |
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10 Feb 09 - 05:37 AM (#2562504) Subject: RE: Folklore: Folk Police go public From: Will Fly Oh, any old moron can have three words... :-) |
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10 Feb 09 - 05:44 AM (#2562509) Subject: RE: Folklore: Folk Police go public From: TheSnail 'ELLO! 'ELLO! ELLO! |
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10 Feb 09 - 05:58 AM (#2562514) Subject: RE: Folklore: Folk Police go public From: GUEST,CrazyEddie "Oh I was not afraid, me boys Of that there is no doubt. For it's my delight, on a Friday night When the coppers ain't about" |
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10 Feb 09 - 06:16 AM (#2562524) Subject: RE: Folklore: Folk Police go public From: Stu No Coppers? Perish the thought! At least The Honest Labourer can sleep safe in his bed at night - and there are some Young Coppers about. |
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10 Feb 09 - 06:32 AM (#2562537) Subject: RE: Folklore: Folk Police go public From: Les in Chorlton The Folk Police, together with Offuk Special Branch, are particularly concerned with Drug Related Folk Crime (DREDF*KC). Offenses of this nature can cause confusion amongst delicate members of the the Folk Community and the public in general. Incidents of this nature should be reported to ********** and you all know who I mean. Our Internal Investigations Branch (INBRED) (Yes I know, you have a go) is looking closely at the following: 1. People with no real understanding of it - trying to sing harmony. 2. People who cannot stay awake through 23 verses of their own ballads 3. Morris Dances who cannot get off the ground and clearly past the probability of fertilizing anything, claiming they are dancing to increase fertility 4. Style Crime - tankards, waistcoats, badges, caps, clogs, festival T shirts, anything to agricultural Cheers L in C With clearly nothing better to do |
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10 Feb 09 - 06:39 AM (#2562541) Subject: RE: Folklore: Folk Police go public From: mattkeen Thanks les This is really very funny |
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10 Feb 09 - 06:50 AM (#2562551) Subject: RE: Folklore: Folk Police go public From: DMcG Many people will bridle at the "good enough for folk" comment. Few will realise that deep in an obscure section of the handbook of the Folk Police is the offence of being "too good for folk". Look through any of the collectors from Kidson onwards and you will discover that forgetting half the words is essential to the folk experience. Every worthwhile collection has a stack of 'fragments': indeed, there are some songs where almost all the words have been completely forgotten. Too many singers days fail to achieve the true folk experience and actually believe they are supposed to sing the whole thing. |
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10 Feb 09 - 07:02 AM (#2562554) Subject: RE: Folklore: Folk Police go public From: Les in Chorlton Good point DMcG. Another crime is attempting to sing the whole tune! Although not common and can cause offence it can easily be stamped out by joining in, loud and confident, knocking off a couple of notes - especially when their is no chorus. L in C |
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10 Feb 09 - 07:59 AM (#2562597) Subject: RE: Folklore: Folk Police go public From: Raggytash Does the Copper family qualify |
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10 Feb 09 - 08:03 AM (#2562600) Subject: RE: Folklore: Folk Police go public From: Les in Chorlton Nice one Agent Raggytash, in the eyes and ears of the FP nobody is entirely innocent, until proved so by a complete Offuk Inspection. L in C |
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10 Feb 09 - 08:07 AM (#2562606) Subject: RE: Folklore: Folk Police go public From: Raggytash Bloody hell Les ... you've just blown my cover ! |
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10 Feb 09 - 08:09 AM (#2562609) Subject: RE: Folklore: Folk Police go public From: DMcG Indeed so: the Young Coppers even point out occasionally that they use a Tuning Fork! To get the pitch right! And they can only only justify this modern innovation back to, I believe, the 1950s or so. I regret I did not have my notebook with me when they said it so I cannot totally verify the date. If I had had the notebook, there would have been trouble. |
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10 Feb 09 - 08:29 AM (#2562638) Subject: RE: Folklore: Folk Police go public From: DMcG Let me be clear. They use the tuning fork all the time (Have they no shame?) What is worse, though, is that they are so brazen about breaking the rules they are quite willing to point it out. This is obviously a result of the dubious advice they have received from their elders. I have found a dusty report in an old archive by a Sgt. A. Lloyd: "Though none of the singers can read music, their style of harmonising is not haphazard; it has been arrived at quite consciously by trial and error and rehearsal, and it is characteristic that the Coppers pitch their songs with the help of a tuning-fork. In their very deliberateness, it may be felt, they are departing from folk practice." |
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10 Feb 09 - 09:57 AM (#2562711) Subject: RE: Folklore: Folk Police go public From: Les in Chorlton Raggy, sorry another Agent blown or is it a double bluff. As for Sgt. Lloyd, it is not widely known that he trained under J Edgar Hoover, and brought much good practice under cover with Agent A. Lomax and Agent S. Collins. The FP Special Branch Training manual advises Agents to read alternately Tinker, Taylor, Soldier, Spy and Folk Song in England. i am so glad that this exchange is not in the public domain. Thos eFolkies will never suspect what we are up to and how close to arrests .............. and more L in C |
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10 Feb 09 - 12:11 PM (#2562841) Subject: RE: Folklore: Folk Police go public From: Rifleman (inactive) "No Coppers!" there's a folk joke here somewhere.. |