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28 Jun 99 - 10:02 PM (#90551) Subject: amusing country & western song titles From: Rita64 A friend emailed this amusing trifle and who better to share it with than "y'all". Enjoy. Fondly, FYM
The Best and Worst Country-Western Song Titles: ==================================================== |
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29 Jun 99 - 03:10 AM (#90623) Subject: RE: amusing country & western song titles From: bseed(charleskratz)
The Best and Worst Country-Western Song Titles: --seed |
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29 Jun 99 - 11:53 AM (#90713) Subject: RE: amusing country & western song titles From: Wotcha Try anything by Junior Brown: She's Venom wearing Denim ... cheers, Brian |
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29 Jun 99 - 02:56 PM (#90759) Subject: RE: amusing country & western song titles From: Les B And for the C & W gourmet -- "My olive oil's virgin, but my honey ain't" |
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29 Jun 99 - 04:48 PM (#90779) Subject: RE: amusing country & western song titles From: reggie miles How about, The Tears Of Hers Eyes Washed Out The Bridge Of Her Nose I Knew You Really Missed Me Honey When The Ash Tray Flew Past My Head |
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30 Jun 99 - 10:50 AM (#91023) Subject: RE: amusing country & western song titles From: Neil Lowe On divorce: "She Got The Gold Mine, I Got The Shaft." |
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30 Jun 99 - 10:50 AM (#91024) Subject: RE: amusing country & western song titles From: Neil Lowe On divorce: "She Got The Gold Mine, I Got The Shaft." |
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30 Jun 99 - 10:52 AM (#91025) Subject: RE: amusing country & western song titles From: Neil Lowe ....such a good title it deserved to be posted twice, evidently (sorry)..... Regards, Neil <===== with twitchy index finger. |
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30 Jun 99 - 12:24 PM (#91043) Subject: RE: amusing country & western song titles From: "From the Gutter to You Ain't Up" How Can I Miss You When You Won't Go Away? Drop Kick me Jesus through the Goal posts of Life |
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30 Jun 99 - 01:44 PM (#91070) Subject: RE: amusing country & western song titles From: Tony Burns For another list click here. There are some duplicates from the list that started this thread and a bunch of others. |
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30 Jun 99 - 06:23 PM (#91146) Subject: RE: amusing country & western song titles From: Tony Burns I sent the list below to some friends some time ago but didn't keep it. Fortunately one of them did and sent it back to me. I think it belongs in this thread. NOI Fifteen Best Jewish Country-Western Song Titles 1. "I Was One of the Chosen People ('Til She Chose Somebody Else)" 2. "Honkey Tonk Nights on the Golan Heights" 3. "I've Got My Foot On The Glass, Where Are You? " 4. "My Rowdy Friend Elijah's Comin' Over Tonight" 5. "New Bottle of Whiskey, Same Old Testament" 6. "Stand by Your Mensch" 7. "Eighteen Wheels and a Dozen Latkes" 8. "I Balanced Your Books, but You're Breaking My Heart" 9. "My Darlin's a Schmendrick and I'm All Verklempt" 10. "That Shiksa Done Made off with My Heart Like a Goniff" 11. "The Second Time She Said 'Shalom', I Knew She Meant 'Goodbye'" 12. "You're the Lox My Bagel's Been Missin'" 13. "You Been Talkin' Hebrew in Your Sleep Since that Rabbi Came to Town" 14. "Why Don't We Get Drunk - We're Jews!" 15. "Mamas Don't Let Your Ungrateful Sons Grow Up to Be Cowboys (When They Could Very Easily Have Just Taken Over the Family Hardware Business that My Own Grandfather Broke His Back to Start and My Father Sweated Over for Years Which Apparently Doesn't Mean Anything Now That You're Turning Your Back on Such a Gift)" |
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30 Jun 99 - 08:09 PM (#91177) Subject: RE: amusing country & western song titles From: DWDitty If Your Phone Don't Ring, It'll Be Me |
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01 Jul 99 - 10:14 AM (#91344) Subject: RE: amusing country & western song titles From: Shirley How about "Your teeth were like stars - they came out at night" |
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01 Jul 99 - 10:31 AM (#91351) Subject: RE: amusing country & western song titles From: alison "Put me back for I've already been". Played one night when I was in a restaurant with my hubby. I was working on a geriatric ward at the time where we did "toilet rounds" you know draggin all these old dears off to the loo at set times of the day... somehow this song just hit the right chord. slainte alison |
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01 Jul 99 - 11:03 AM (#91363) Subject: RE: amusing country & western song titles From: Paul He's Got a Way with Women (and He Just Got Away With Mine) |
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01 Jul 99 - 11:29 AM (#91369) Subject: RE: amusing country & western song titles From: If My Nose Was Running Money I'd Blow It All On You |
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01 Jul 99 - 11:25 PM (#91562) Subject: RE: amusing country & western song titles From: Bill D I like the one I actually HEARD once about 1974.."Johnny Broke My Heart at Walgreens, and I Cried all the way to Sears" |
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02 Jul 99 - 12:25 AM (#91575) Subject: RE: amusing country & western song titles From: emily rain she's leaving me because she really wants to |
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02 Jul 99 - 01:05 AM (#91594) Subject: RE: amusing country & western song titles From: Rita64 Thanks seed - it didn't occur to me that the text would run like that. Alison, delightful story about the darling oldies. For your sake I hope they all made it in time ... |
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02 Jul 99 - 04:27 PM (#91787) Subject: RE: amusing country & western song titles From: George How about, "I married a moonshiners daughter, now she makes me likker every night." Cheers |
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01 Aug 06 - 03:49 PM (#1799109) Subject: RE: amusing country & western song titles From: guitarscum I am looking for the words to "I married a moonshiners daughter, now she makes me likker all night long." Can you help? |
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01 Aug 06 - 04:59 PM (#1799169) Subject: RE: amusing country & western song titles From: Scoville I still like "Thank God and Greyhound You're Gone" (and it's a pretty good song, too). |
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01 Aug 06 - 05:10 PM (#1799186) Subject: RE: amusing country & western song titles From: GUEST,guest - woody This is an old one: If you play a country song backward, you get: My wife came back, my dog came back, I got my pickup back, then I took a train to prison. Different segue: If you watch a slasher movie backward, you get: A bunch of people get healed by a chain saw, then they go camping. |
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01 Aug 06 - 06:04 PM (#1799243) Subject: RE: amusing country & western song titles From: Kaleea does anybody recall the song done by the Beatles in their very early years (quite worthy of Bob Wills & his Texas Playboys!): I forgot to remember to forget her |
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01 Aug 06 - 06:26 PM (#1799267) Subject: RE: amusing country & western song titles From: Snuffy I didn't know the Beatles recorded I Forgot To Remember To Forget Her , but I've got it on vinyl by Elvis from about 1956 or so. |
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01 Aug 06 - 07:29 PM (#1799314) Subject: RE: amusing country & western song titles From: GUEST Yeah, 'I Forgot To Remember To Forget Her' is on the Beatles' collection 'Live at the BBC' released in the mid-90s. |
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02 Aug 06 - 08:09 AM (#1799691) Subject: RE: amusing country & western song titles From: GUEST,HughM You can't have your Kate and Edith too. |
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02 Aug 06 - 08:53 AM (#1799713) Subject: RE: amusing country & western song titles From: GerryMc Messed up in Mexico, living on refried dreams by Tim McGraw. That's pretty bad huh? |
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25 May 07 - 04:12 PM (#2060933) Subject: RE: amusing country & western song titles From: wysiwyg Notorious Cherry Bombs - It's Hard To Kiss The Lips At Night That Chew Your Ass Out All Day Long Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AwSoYhJ9NkE My proposed subtitle: Especiallly with my tongue in your cheek ~S~ |
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25 May 07 - 07:00 PM (#2061033) Subject: RE: amusing country & western song titles From: GUEST I've Been Flushed From The Bathroom Of Your Heart. All My Ex's Live In Texas. I know who's songs these are, but do you know? :) |
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25 May 07 - 11:29 PM (#2061140) Subject: RE: amusing country & western song titles From: Arkie Not really C&W but it caught my eye: A Calvinist Narrowly Avoids Pleasure |
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26 May 07 - 02:44 AM (#2061190) Subject: RE: amusing country & western song titles From: GUEST,Tunesmith There's "He's got a way with women, and he got away with mine", and Hank William's " You're just in time to be too late". |
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26 May 07 - 06:31 AM (#2061257) Subject: RE: amusing country & western song titles From: guitar I've Been Flushed From The Bathroom Of Your Heart. this song was sung by Johnny cash |
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26 May 07 - 07:51 AM (#2061283) Subject: RE: amusing country & western song titles From: GUEST,van lingle "That Was a Million Lite Beers Ago" "For Better or Worse (But Not For Long)" "I'm Gonna Drink Canada Dry" Yep, I like both kinds of music- Country and Western. |
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26 May 07 - 11:58 AM (#2061347) Subject: RE: amusing country & western song titles From: Scorpio "It's been lonesome in the saddle since my horse died" |
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26 May 07 - 12:40 PM (#2061359) Subject: RE: amusing country & western song titles From: GUEST,Spidey Bobe Joggin with Jesus I looked for you in DFW but you must have been in Love! If my heart had a window could you see through the pane? They don't make jews like Jesus any more |
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26 May 07 - 05:34 PM (#2061501) Subject: RE: amusing country & western song titles From: Girl Friday We do one called "Cowboys are frequently, secretly fond of each other" . It's been recorded, (and possibly written by) Hank Williams. |
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26 May 07 - 06:03 PM (#2061509) Subject: RE: amusing country & western song titles From: oldhippie John denver, early in his career, recorded a country song, "You Done Stomped On My Heart, yeah you mashed that sucker flat....." |
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26 May 07 - 07:19 PM (#2061540) Subject: RE: amusing country & western song titles From: Bernard "I Know You're Over Me, Now You're Under Him"... "Thank God I'm An Atheist" |
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26 May 07 - 07:29 PM (#2061546) Subject: RE: amusing country & western song titles From: kendall If I had to do it again, I'd do it all over you. You're the reason our kids are ugly She won't get under me til I get over you. |
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26 May 07 - 10:55 PM (#2061620) Subject: RE: amusing country & western song titles From: GUEST That is correct. "I've Been Flushed From The Bathroom Of Your Heart" was by Johnny Cash. No one posted who the artist to "All My Ex's Live in Texas" was. It was George Strait. "All My Ex's Live In Texas"; is aslo a humorous song, which I wrote a parody for. (Trying my hardest to keep the lyrics clean). |
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26 May 07 - 11:03 PM (#2061623) Subject: RE: amusing country & western song titles From: LadyJean I remember hearing a classic in the seventies called, "The Tears Have Washed I Love You From the Blackboard of My Heart". It was serious. I should not have laughed. Then there was a ditty called "The Banana Bowl" allegedly about college life, that I heard way to often as I was sweating for exams. There was also a song called "Bring Back the MiniSkirt." Of Course there's the infamous Harper Valley PTA. When the album came out, there were songs about all the members of the Harper Valley PTA. I kind of wish I knew what they'd been up to. |
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27 May 07 - 09:34 AM (#2061799) Subject: RE: amusing country & western song titles From: GUEST,'Ray Bucknell "If I Said You Have a Beautiful Body Would You Hold It Against Me?" |
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27 May 07 - 06:29 PM (#2062014) Subject: RE: amusing country & western song titles From: Arkie I Don't Know Whether To Come Home Or Go Crazy I'm Just A Bug On The Windshield Of Life If My Nose Were Full of Nickels, I'd Blow It All On You If You Leave Me, Can I Come Too? She Feels Like A New Man Tonight She's Out Doing What I'm Here Doing Without. |
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27 May 07 - 07:10 PM (#2062034) Subject: RE: amusing country & western song titles From: GUEST,Blue Moon 'He holds the lantern while his mother chops the wood' - Tex Morton 'I've never gone to bed with an ugly woman but I've sure woke up with a few' - Bobby Bare |
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27 May 07 - 07:11 PM (#2062035) Subject: RE: amusing country & western song titles From: bobad Am I Double Parked by the Curbstone of Your Heart? Are You Drinkin With Me Jesus? At the Gas Station of Love, I Got the Self Service Pump Billy Broke My Heart at Walgreens and I Cried All the Way to Sears Come out of the Wheatfield Nellie, You're Going Against the Grain Did I Shave my Legs for This? Don't Chop Any Wood Mother, I'm Comin' in With a Load! Don't Give Me A Plastic Saddle 'Cuz I Want To Feel That Leather When I Ride Get Off the Table, Mabel (The Two Dollars is for the Beer) I Gave Her My Heart And A Diamond And She Clubbed Me With A Spade I Gave Her the Ring, and She Gave Me the Finger I Got Tears In My Ears From Lying On My Bed Crying On My Pillow Over You I Want a Beer as Cold as My Ex-Wife's Heart I Was Looking Back to See If You Were Looking Back to See If I Was Looking Back to See if You Were Looking Back at Me I Went Back to My Fourth Wife for the Third Time and Gave Her a Second Chance to Make a First Class Fool Out of Me I Wish I Were A Woman (So I Could Go Out With A Guy Like Me) I'd Rather Hear A Fat Girl Fart Than A Pretty Boy Sing I'm So Miserable Without You, it's Almost like Having you Here Jeremiah Peabody's Polyunsaturated Quick Dissolving Fast Acting Pleasant Tasting Green and Purple Pills Her Teeth Were Stained, But Her Heart Was Pure How Can You Believe Me When I Say I Love You When You Know I've Been A Liar All My Life? I Changed Her Oil, She Changed My Life I Fell In A Pile Of You And Got Love All Over Me I Flushed You From The Toilet Of My Heart. I Keep Forgettin' I Forgot About You I Wanna Whip Your Cow I Would Have Wrote You A Letter, But I Couldn't Spell Yuck I Wouldn't Take Her To A Dawg Fight, Cause I'm Afraid She'd Win I'd Rather Have A Bottle In Front Of Me Than A Frontal Lobotomy I'm Just A Bug On The Windshield Of Life I've Got The Hungries For Your Love And I'm Waiting In Your Welfare Line If I Can't Be Number One In Your Life, Then Number Two On You If Love Were Oil, I'd Be A Quart Low If You Don't Leave Me Alone, I'll Go And Find Someone Else Who Will Mama Get The Hammer There's A Fly On Papa's Head My Every Day Silver Is Plastic My John Deere Was Breaking Your Field, While Your Dear John Was Breaking My Heart My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend, And I Sure Do Miss Him Oh, I've Got Hair Oil On My Ears And My Glasses Are Slipping Down, Baby I Can See Through You Pardon Me, I've Got Someone To Kill She Got The Gold Mine And I Got The Shaft She Got The Ring And I Got The Finger She Made Toothpicks Out Of The Timber Of My Heart Thank God And Greyhound She's Gone They May Put Me In Prison, But They Can't Stop My Face From Breakin' Out Velcro Arms, Teflon Heart When You Leave Walk Out Backwards, So I'll Think You're Walking In You Can't Have Your Kate And Edith Too You Can't Roller Skate In A Buffalo Herd You Done Tore Out My Heart And Stomped That Sucker Flat You Were Only A Splinter As I Slid Down The Bannister Of Life You're The Reason Our Kids Are Ugly If You Walk Away From Me, I'll Love You From Behind |
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15 Oct 15 - 11:00 PM (#3744264) Subject: Lyr Add: TOO FAST FOR RAPID CITY (Layng Martine) From: Jim Dixon I heard this song once on the radio over 30 years ago, and never heard it again until today, when I happened to think of looking for it. Transcribed from YouTube: TOO FAST FOR RAPID CITY Words and music by Layng Martine, Jr. As recorded by Sheila Andrews on "Love Me Like a Woman" (1979) 1. Well the summer I was sixteen, my daddy caught me In a compromisin' spot with a boy I knew, And it wasn't long after that He caught me way out back With another young man and a jug o' mountain dew. 2. And he spread the word around that I was a wild child. I could hear the whispers ever'where I'd go, For the rumors they persisted, And I kept right on resistin', Till one night daddy knocked me to the floor. CHORUS: He said: You're livin' just a little bit too fast for Rapid City. You better slow down, girl; think about who you are. You're livin' just a little too fast for Rapid City, And you're gonna wake up some day, See the future has gone away, And the woman that you could have been Ain't comin' back again. 3. Well the years slipped by before I hardly knew. Pretty soon I dug a hole so deep. The boy that I'd been lovin' Left me with a kid and one in the oven, Plus twenty-three bucks and a shack on a dead-end street. 4. Well now I do my swingin' on a tire in the back yard, Some dreams and some moonshine in my head, And my little girl thinks she's grown. She came home last night at dawn. She laughed right in my face when I said: CHORUS: You're livin'.... REPEAT CHORUS AND FADE. |
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15 Oct 15 - 11:33 PM (#3744266) Subject: RE: amusing country & western song titles From: Jason Xion Wang If I Hadn't Shot Her When I Got Out of Prison I'd Not Be in the Jail by Now Or something like that I can't remember |
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16 Oct 15 - 04:49 AM (#3744300) Subject: RE: amusing country & western song titles From: Mr Red Joggin for Jesus was the album, Drop Kick me Jesus Through the Goal Posts of Life a song on it. By Hank Wangford, a gynecologist by trade. |
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16 Oct 15 - 08:12 AM (#3744338) Subject: RE: amusing country & western song titles From: mayomick May the Bird of Paradise fly up Your Nose. |
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16 Oct 15 - 09:19 AM (#3744358) Subject: RE: amusing country & western song titles From: GUEST,HiLo "He's A Go Getter, When His wife Gets off work He goes and Gets Her." "I.m Itchin For My Baby But I don't know Where To Scratch." |
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17 Oct 15 - 02:24 AM (#3744553) Subject: RE: amusing country & western song titles From: PHJim A correction to a previous couple of posts: Although Johnny Cash and others did sing "I've Been Flushed From The Bathroom Of Your Heart", it's not Johnny's song. It's Cowboy Jack Clement's song. |
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17 Oct 15 - 06:32 PM (#3744777) Subject: RE: amusing country & western song titles From: Uncle_DaveO I'm pretty sure this one (the whole thing!) is the title: I got tears in my ears, from lyin' on my back, in my bed, when I cry over you. |
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17 Oct 15 - 07:23 PM (#3744796) Subject: RE: amusing country & western song titles From: Hagman "She's acting single, I'm drinking doubles" - Gary Stewart. |
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17 Oct 15 - 08:32 PM (#3744816) Subject: RE: amusing country & western song titles From: GUEST,Larry the Radio Guy My favourite is "If the Phone Doesn't Ring, It's Me". |
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18 Oct 15 - 04:13 AM (#3744851) Subject: RE: amusing country & western song titles From: Acorn4 For me the prize goes to Pam Tillis:- "They Call me Cleopatra, 'cos I'm the Queen of De-Nile" |
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18 Oct 15 - 03:12 PM (#3744968) Subject: RE: amusing country & western song titles From: Big Al Whittle Buster the line dancing dawg https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z8ODJzvmu9U |
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19 Oct 15 - 11:50 AM (#3745187) Subject: RE: amusing country & western song titles From: Jason Xion Wang Come Back to Us Barbara Lewis Hare Krishna Beauregard If You Think You've Reached the Bottom Just Look Down Leave a Lot of Happy Tracks as You Walk Along Life's Road How Come My Dog Don't Bark When You Come Around Take These Words, Cover Them With Chocolates, Make Them Nice and Sweet; Those are the Words I'm Gonna Have to Eat What's Made Milwaukee Famous Has Made a Loser Out of Me |
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19 Oct 15 - 11:57 AM (#3745191) Subject: RE: amusing country & western song titles From: Jason Xion Wang I Ain't Never Gone to Bed With Any Ugly Woman but I Woke Up With a Few |
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19 Oct 15 - 12:58 PM (#3745200) Subject: RE: amusing country & western song titles From: Bonzo3legs If my heart had a window, could you see through my pain? |