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13 Mar 09 - 05:23 PM (#2588310) Subject: BS: It made me laugh.... From: gnu I read the Real ATlantic Superstore flyer on the internet this morning while sipping tea at 5AM. The paper doesn't arrive until about 7AM. Some stuff that is usually $1.79 each was on for a buck. I was at the the store at opening and got some and I got a treat... sommat to munch on while watching the Tom's Curling Brier this weekend... a large veggie tray with salad dressing. Baby cut carrots, celery, broccoli and cauliflower. Decadent? Yes. But, I live alone and to buy the stuff would mean I wouldn't be able to eat it all before I would have to throw some out. That is my excuse, and I am sticking to it. I opened the fridge. I moved a few things around and made space for the LARGE plastic veggie tray on a top shelf. As I was putting the tray in the fridge, I let go of it with my left hand. As it was supported only with my right thumb on the top, the weight of the 1600g tray was cantilevered in such a way that the lid let go and, in a rather spectacular fashion, about three quarters of the veggies made their escape. Many tried to hide in amongnst the fridge contents, on every shelf. Some even hid under the fridge. The less intelligent ones simply laid on the floor. I gathered the escapees in the plastic grocery bag, thinking I would rinse them in a colander, boil them for five minutes, and create a delicious veggie stir fry. Indeed, this was a blessing in disguise. I cleaned the fridge and the floor. I felt my initial anger subside as I had a plan to make lemonade from lemons. I went to my office, down the hall, about twenty feet from the fridge. I was looking for the light on the answering machine when I stepped on... A CARROT! I let out a roar of not-so-nice... how in the hell did you get all the way down here???... and then took to laughing. |
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13 Mar 09 - 05:36 PM (#2588320) Subject: RE: BS: It made me laugh.... From: Peace I had a buddy in the NWT who lost it for a bit and took a jet from Yellowknife to Halifax with a refueling stop in Val d'Or. He was going to visit his mom, a decision he'd arrived at over a few (dozen) beer. Rented a taxi in Halifax and began driving northward. They stopped at bars along the way. He never did see her but returned to Yellowknife on Monday with a case of live lobsters. They got loose in his place and he thought he'd got 'em all captured again. About four days later he could detect--nay, the odor of a daed sea creature assailed his olfactory lobes and there one was under his refrigerator. I commiserate with you, gnu. |
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13 Mar 09 - 06:37 PM (#2588378) Subject: RE: BS: It made me laugh.... From: gnu Maybe the lobster was after the carrot. |
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13 Mar 09 - 06:37 PM (#2588379) Subject: RE: BS: It made me laugh.... From: Peace Great minds . . . . |
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13 Mar 09 - 06:49 PM (#2588386) Subject: RE: BS: It made me laugh.... From: meself I had a case of lobsters once. Very traumatic, but the doctor said it happens more often than you'd think. And he gave me a pamphlet that advised me to be more choosy about the company I keep ... and so I joined Mudcat ... |
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13 Mar 09 - 06:50 PM (#2588387) Subject: RE: BS: It made me laugh.... From: Bill D a few years ago, someone turned over a pickup truck load of crabs here on the Capital Beltway...(6 lanes in 2 directions) Cars were stopping and trying to turn this accident into a free meal...they were getting bitten, and still grabbing more crabs.....some got away before the police arrived. (no not THAT kind of crabs, Bruce) |
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13 Mar 09 - 07:04 PM (#2588397) Subject: RE: BS: It made me laugh.... From: artbrooks I understand that you can catch lobsters from the seats of outhouses in Maine... |
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13 Mar 09 - 07:30 PM (#2588414) Subject: RE: BS: It made me laugh.... From: gnu Only if they are in ice fishing huts. |
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14 Mar 09 - 04:08 PM (#2588892) Subject: RE: BS: It made me laugh.... From: kendall I had a new neighbor who came here from Ohio, and I wanted to make him welcome so I gave him a live Lobster.I told him how to cook it; he smiled, said thanks and took it home. A few days later I asked him if he liked the lobster,and he said, "I didn't have the heart to boil it so I took it out in the woods and set it free." |
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14 Mar 09 - 04:51 PM (#2588915) Subject: RE: BS: It made me laugh.... From: CarolC Must have been one of those running carrots |
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14 Mar 09 - 05:01 PM (#2588921) Subject: RE: BS: It made me laugh.... From: Bill D "...took it out in the woods and set it free." Kendall, you should have explained to him that they are BRED in those tanks in the stores & restaurants and that turning it loose in the woods would mean it will probably be building a nest in some stream and eating the fish! |
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14 Mar 09 - 05:11 PM (#2588932) Subject: RE: BS: It made me laugh.... From: olddude Arrrr WE Can't hold them back much longer Captain !!! |
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14 Mar 09 - 05:16 PM (#2588935) Subject: RE: BS: It made me laugh.... From: Peace 'I had a new neighbor who came here from Ohio, and I wanted to make him welcome so I gave him a live Lobster.I told him how to cook it; he smiled, said thanks and took it home. A few days later I asked him if he liked the lobster,and he said, "I didn't have the heart to boil it so I took it out in the woods and set it free."' LOLOL Good one, Kendall. |
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14 Mar 09 - 05:28 PM (#2588943) Subject: RE: BS: It made me laugh.... From: gnu Ya know.... even a fellah from Ohio would be astounded by the aroma of lobster and beer the day after. Broccoli got NOTHIN on lobster. |
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14 Mar 09 - 08:23 PM (#2589008) Subject: RE: BS: It made me laugh.... From: maeve Maybe, gnu; unless he'd experienced the aroma of crawdads and beer. maeve |
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15 Mar 09 - 01:25 PM (#2589418) Subject: RE: BS: It made me laugh.... From: gnu Crawdads? Is that what them there inlanders eat? Scrawny little things?... the crawdads, that is. Take a lot a them to fill a lobster pot. |
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15 Mar 09 - 01:31 PM (#2589422) Subject: RE: BS: It made me laugh.... From: maeve Yes- good though. maeve |
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15 Mar 09 - 01:32 PM (#2589423) Subject: RE: BS: It made me laugh.... From: Rapparee You ain't never seen no Idaho crawdads, have ya? Ya go after 'em with bubblegum (chewed) on the end of a string, only when ya get a bite you gotten finish 'em off with a .375 Magnum (at least) rifle shot. Suckers average about 10 feet long and stand about 4 feet high at the withers. DANGED good eatin', though. |
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15 Mar 09 - 01:34 PM (#2589427) Subject: RE: BS: It made me laugh.... From: gnu They stand? But, can the stand on their heads? |
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15 Mar 09 - 01:37 PM (#2589429) Subject: RE: BS: It made me laugh.... From: Megan L Rapaire ye tell mair lies than Tam Pepper an he got kicked ooto hell fur tellin lies |
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15 Mar 09 - 01:49 PM (#2589440) Subject: RE: BS: It made me laugh.... From: maeve Which part was the lie- the bubblegum or that they have withers? maeve |
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15 Mar 09 - 01:54 PM (#2589444) Subject: RE: BS: It made me laugh.... From: Rapparee I won the "Truth In Telling Award" every day when I was in grade school. I even now speak naught except the Truth. I am so totally committed to the Truth that I always tell it, completely and fully. Sometimes I even tell a Truth And A Half, or several at the same time because of my personal commitment to Truth. |
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15 Mar 09 - 01:56 PM (#2589447) Subject: RE: BS: It made me laugh.... From: Megan L Aye son a believe ye :) |
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16 Mar 09 - 09:51 AM (#2590019) Subject: RE: BS: It made me laugh.... From: Michael The trouble with that, Rapaire, is that you can often be left with the odd half truth to use up. Mike |
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16 Mar 09 - 10:01 AM (#2590028) Subject: RE: BS: It made me laugh.... From: Amos YEs. Rapaire's head, after all these years, is just filled with odd things that are half-true. It's difficult. A |
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16 Mar 09 - 10:15 AM (#2590036) Subject: RE: BS: It made me laugh.... From: Donuel There are many classifications of farts: The tail gunner, the cheek flapper, the whizzser, ... I had a growler yersterday and my dog started barking and preparing to attack the "intruder". It made me laugh. |
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16 Mar 09 - 01:27 PM (#2590210) Subject: RE: BS: It made me laugh.... From: Dead Horse The idea that a in-store bred lobster could possibly survive in the wild is ridiculous. It would very soon be mugged by a passing kindergarten school of tiddlers! |
