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09 Apr 09 - 08:21 PM (#2608392) Subject: BS: Okay, Where the Hell is Little Hawk??? From: Bobert I just figurated why the BS is suffering... Little Hawk is missing!!! Like, I didn't hear that he was going off to one of his rock (like in real rocks, not music) meditation things... So, like what's up??? Someone has the real story and it's time to spill it... Or not??? B~ |
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09 Apr 09 - 08:39 PM (#2608397) Subject: RE: BS: Okay, Where the Hell is Little Hawk??? From: Beer When did he last post? I guess I could look eh? Beer (adrien) |
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09 Apr 09 - 08:43 PM (#2608401) Subject: RE: BS: Okay, Where the Hell is Little Hawk??? From: Bill D last post?.... .ummm yesterday |
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09 Apr 09 - 08:45 PM (#2608403) Subject: RE: BS: Okay, Where the Hell is Little Hawk??? From: Beer He's O.K. Adrien |
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09 Apr 09 - 09:01 PM (#2608411) Subject: RE: BS: Okay, Where the Hell is Little Hawk??? From: Jeri 'He's O.K.' There's something new! |
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09 Apr 09 - 09:04 PM (#2608413) Subject: RE: BS: Okay, Where the Hell is Little Hawk??? From: SINSULL A monkey. I think. Or a gorilla. |
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09 Apr 09 - 09:48 PM (#2608424) Subject: RE: BS: Okay, Where the Hell is Little Hawk??? From: Beer No Sins, he's busy on a hamster thread. |
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09 Apr 09 - 09:50 PM (#2608425) Subject: RE: BS: Okay, Where the Hell is Little Hawk??? From: Bee-dubya-ell Little Hawk and Chongo have changed places. Chongo is now the real personality while Little Hawk is the imaginary alter ego. Chongo thinks the Internet is a waste of time. The only reason he ever posted before is that Little Hawk made him do it. Now that Chongo's running things it'll be lots of eating bananas, jacking off, and flinging turds at passersby. The only time Little Hawk will be able to post is while Chongo's sleeping. |
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09 Apr 09 - 09:59 PM (#2608426) Subject: RE: BS: Okay, Where the Hell is Little Hawk??? From: Rapparee Guess who's on the cover of "Cowboys and Indians" magazine this month? See picture one.... |
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09 Apr 09 - 10:33 PM (#2608434) Subject: RE: BS: Okay, Where the Hell is Little Hawk??? From: Stilly River Sage Good thing he's wearing a hat. It hides the bad rug. |
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09 Apr 09 - 10:41 PM (#2608437) Subject: RE: BS: Okay, Where the Hell is Little Hawk??? From: Amos Rapaire must be a subscriber--I mean why else would he happen to trip across shatner pretending to be an overweight cowhand? A |
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09 Apr 09 - 11:09 PM (#2608450) Subject: RE: BS: Okay, Where the Hell is Little Hawk??? From: Rapparee Magazine rack in the Dallas airport. |
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10 Apr 09 - 01:45 AM (#2608496) Subject: RE: BS: Okay, Where the Hell is Little Hawk??? From: Gurney LH is OK, but he will not be returned until jOhns hamster is home! In the event that the correct hamster is NOT returned, LH will be returned in instalments. That's what I heard, anyway. |
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10 Apr 09 - 02:28 AM (#2608506) Subject: RE: BS: Okay, Where the Hell is Little Hawk??? From: Genie Makes sense to me, (But, then, I'm easy,) G |
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10 Apr 09 - 05:23 AM (#2608543) Subject: RE: BS: Okay, Where the Hell is Little Hawk??? From: gnu Bee-dubya-ell... "Now that Chongo's running things..." Ahhh, nevermind. |
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10 Apr 09 - 08:44 AM (#2608618) Subject: RE: BS: Okay, Where the Hell is Little Hawk??? From: Rapparee Perhaps this juxtaposition of threads is pertinent: BS: Okay, Where the Hell is Little Hawk??? BS: My Hamster Has Been Kidnapped |
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10 Apr 09 - 09:48 AM (#2608640) Subject: RE: BS: Okay, Where the Hell is Little Hawk??? From: Amos That Rapaire has a facile explanation for everything. But according to inside information he has just recently landed in La-La Land himself, so we can expect him to run onto Little Hawk at any time. A |
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10 Apr 09 - 10:19 AM (#2608652) Subject: RE: BS: Okay, Where the Hell is Little Hawk??? From: number 6 Has Rapaire gone to Orillia ?!?!? |
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10 Apr 09 - 11:22 AM (#2608681) Subject: RE: BS: Okay, Where the Hell is Little Hawk??? From: IWTATBM A trap for him has been set. |
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10 Apr 09 - 12:18 PM (#2608721) Subject: RE: BS: Okay, Where the Hell is Little Hawk??? From: balladeer Yes, I've been gone a long time, but back for a little while now, long enough to miss Little Hawk! |
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10 Apr 09 - 12:51 PM (#2608742) Subject: RE: BS: Okay, Where the Hell is Little Hawk??? From: JohnInKansas Back about a week ago LH was being advised on the necessity for some new computer equipment, so he has quite possibly pulled up his muckluks, shouldered a good pair of snowshoes, harnessed up a team of While he, possibly, is sufficiently knowing to survive contact with "people," it is quite impossible for a team of He did make a couple of brief appearances in obscure threads since indicating his intent to f***k with his computer, but given his known competence at tech-NO-logical apparatus, he may have broken the ^$%#@!$ thing and is awaiting assistance, not noticing that the John |
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10 Apr 09 - 01:43 PM (#2608771) Subject: RE: BS: Okay, Where the Hell is Little Hawk??? From: catspaw49 Sorry I was remiss in posting this as I promised I wouldn't say anything on the 'Cat. But its come this far so I think its better to tell you what I know than let the rumor mill take over! Hawk called me the other day so I'd know and not worry about him. The Hawk had to go into the local hospital because he slipped exiting the shower and fell hard to the floor. No broken bones or concussions or anything like that, but he was taken to the ER to have a Dachshund removed from his ass. They're keeping him a few days for observation and possibly a Psych consult. Spaw |
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10 Apr 09 - 01:50 PM (#2608775) Subject: RE: BS: Okay, Where the Hell is Little Hawk??? From: Lonesome EJ Here I just uncorked the champagne in honor of this perennial pain in the ass being absent at last from the Forum, looking forward to no more Shatner allusions or new age spiritual knockwurst sandwiches, and you guys ruin my day by informing me that he's fine and he'll be back soon. It is sad about the accident with the dachsund, but I'm glad to hear he'll be observed for a few days and will receive counselling. The dachsund that is. |
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10 Apr 09 - 01:52 PM (#2608779) Subject: RE: BS: Okay, Where the Hell is Little Hawk??? From: KB in Iowa I think he is at Tim Horton's getting a donut and some coffee. |
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10 Apr 09 - 03:10 PM (#2608816) Subject: RE: BS: Okay, Where the Hell is Little Hawk??? From: Rapparee This turned up in my Inbox from the Homeland Security Daily Wire for April 6. I think it explains a lot. Five facial recognition machines at Manchester airport produced many false negatives, causing long lines of irate passengers; to shorten lines, the machines' sensitivity was recalibrated from 80 percent to 30 percent; experts say the machines are now useless: tests show that at 30 percent, the machines cannot distinguish between Gordon Brown and Mel Gibson -- or between Osama bin Laden and actress Winona Ryder. In short, I think he couldn't distinguish between his beloved Winona and is now being held somewhere by Osama bin Laden, who objected to being called "My little sweetie pie woogums". |
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11 Apr 09 - 06:51 PM (#2609428) Subject: RE: BS: Okay, Where the Hell is Little Hawk??? From: Gurney Just bringing this to the top again to give LH right-of-reply when he gets back online. I'm sure he'll come up with something witty. But if it's only half of that, it'll be worth reading. |
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12 Apr 09 - 02:12 PM (#2609758) Subject: RE: BS: Okay, Where the Hell is Little Hawk??? From: gnu Spaw... "They're keeping him a few days for observation and possibly a Psych consult." A Psych consult? Soooo, he might not be back? |
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12 Apr 09 - 02:42 PM (#2609768) Subject: RE: BS: Okay, Where the Hell is Little Hawk??? From: GUEST,Guest from Sanity Actually, he's locked up in my basement dungeon of pleasure and pain! |
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12 Apr 09 - 05:54 PM (#2609854) Subject: RE: BS: Okay, Where the Hell is Little Hawk??? From: Gurney As he's Canadian, will he be able to discern the difference? |
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13 Apr 09 - 01:16 PM (#2610259) Subject: RE: BS: Okay, Where the Hell is Little Hawk??? From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp Bee-Dubya-Ell? Have you been told today? No? Guess what... Yer a dimwit! Anyways, LH is takin' a break from the Cat. He got sick of it, I guess. All the arguin' and stuff. By the way, the Internet IS a waste of time. I'm talkin' MAJOR waste of time. Youse people are all lost and beyond hope with yer Internet addictions as far as I can see, but that's yer lookout so I ain't too worried about it. I got real work to do. Got a couple new cases to work on and they ain't divorce cases neither. No sir. It's the real stuff, baby. So I'll see ya later. - Chongo |
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13 Apr 09 - 03:02 PM (#2610326) Subject: RE: BS: Okay, Where the Hell is Little Hawk??? From: Rapparee Bull, Chongo. You ain't got no cases. I got my contacts in Chicago and you're behind on your rent, you've had to hock your tommy AND your .45, and Big George's boys are looking for you. The only thing you got going for your right now is that skirt Trixie, and you shouldn't trust her far enough to throw her. |
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13 Apr 09 - 04:13 PM (#2610387) Subject: RE: BS: Okay, Where the Hell is Little Hawk??? From: Gurney But, Rap., he's right about the internet. Although if Big George's boys were after me, I'd hide in a hole and get my socials Web-wise, because everyone knows that BG's boys are computer-illegitimate. |
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13 Apr 09 - 06:33 PM (#2610497) Subject: RE: BS: Okay, Where the Hell is Little Hawk??? From: Rapparee Chongo doesn't have that much sense. |
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14 Apr 09 - 12:26 AM (#2610694) Subject: RE: BS: Okay, Where the Hell is Little Hawk??? From: Gurney A dead ape waking, then. Staggering, anyway. |
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14 Apr 09 - 06:02 AM (#2610794) Subject: RE: BS: Okay, Where the Hell is Little Hawk??? From: VirginiaTam gawd! you guys gotta stop jumping in and creating the heart-stopping threads without investigating things first. christ no wonder I keep getting palpitations. |
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14 Apr 09 - 08:28 AM (#2610875) Subject: RE: BS: Okay, Where the Hell is Little Hawk??? From: Rapparee I had a call from him this morning. He has joined the Cistercian order of monks as a junior monk, or monkee. He has taken a vow of partial silence (he can talk out of either side of his mouth, but not both at the same time), partial poverty (he can own his own bus tokens), partial obedience (only when he wants to), and partial chastity (ah...discretion saith not, but it involves handcuffs and pictures of Sarah Palin, Hilary Clinton, and Winona Ryder). I suspect he'll be back soon since he has to wear heavy, itchy, burlap underwear. |
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14 Apr 09 - 10:06 AM (#2610937) Subject: RE: BS: Okay, Where the Hell is Little Hawk??? From: VirginiaTam talk maybe not? but he can type unless his hands are busy dealing with the itchy underwear. |
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14 Apr 09 - 01:09 PM (#2611076) Subject: RE: BS: Okay, Where the Hell is Little Hawk??? From: Rapparee No, that would violate the chastity part. Besides, as monkee instead of a full-fledged monk he gets to wear silk lining in his underwear. |
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14 Apr 09 - 01:18 PM (#2611083) Subject: RE: BS: Okay, Where the Hell is Little Hawk??? From: VirginiaTam hmmmm? |
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14 Apr 09 - 05:15 PM (#2611232) Subject: RE: BS: Okay, Where the Hell is Little Hawk??? From: Rapparee Yes, but junior grade. He even gets to consort with novices from the local nunnery. where he will learn that "nun" means "none." |
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14 Apr 09 - 05:40 PM (#2611256) Subject: RE: BS: Okay, Where the Hell is Little Hawk??? From: Rapparee He is not living in the monastery, but in the special quarters for monkees, the monkery. |
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14 Apr 09 - 05:43 PM (#2611259) Subject: RE: BS: Okay, Where the Hell is Little Hawk??? From: beardedbruce are you making a mockery of monkery? |
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14 Apr 09 - 06:40 PM (#2611296) Subject: RE: BS: Okay, Where the Hell is Little Hawk??? From: Rapparee I would never mock a monkery or the monkees who reside therein. To mock monks, monkees, or monkeries could lead one to run amok amidst anyone's angst. |
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15 Apr 09 - 12:47 AM (#2611450) Subject: RE: BS: Okay, Where the Hell is Little Hawk??? From: Gurney You must be sober. I tried to say that..... |
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15 Apr 09 - 06:07 PM (#2611985) Subject: RE: BS: Okay, Where the Hell is Little Hawk??? From: Rapparee Dear Lord. I've just learned that Little Hawk has left the monkery and has run off with Veronica Rutledge, the upper-class bimbo from Slut-On-Syde. Her aunt is quite put out by this and has declared the young woman a "toxic asset of the Rutledge name." |
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15 Apr 09 - 07:12 PM (#2612014) Subject: RE: BS: Okay, Where the Hell is Little Hawk??? From: Bee-dubya-ell And the worst part is that Veronica doesn't even like Little Hawk. She's only using him. Her real ambition is to gain an introduction to Shane McBride. |
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15 Apr 09 - 07:24 PM (#2612025) Subject: RE: BS: Okay, Where the Hell is Little Hawk??? From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp LH is too old for Veronica Rutledge. WAY too old. Hell, he's even way too old for Penelope Rutledge. I am talkin' OVER the friggin' hill, folks. That rich dame Penelope is somewhere around 30 now, I think, and her niece Veronica is maybe 19 or somethin' like that...and headed for trouble too. The thing is, her family can buy her out of just about any trouble she could possibly get into, so she don't care. I wish I could say the same about my (extended) family! They can't even deal with my car payments, and that's why I got my nose to the grindstone here, poundin' the pavement, and keepin' lowlifes like Rapaire where they belong: In jail. Or ten feet under and pushin' up some nice new daisies. Whichever way works. This thread ain't a monkery, it's a mockery of a travesty. I think Woody Allen said that once, didn't he? - Chongo |
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15 Apr 09 - 07:56 PM (#2612046) Subject: RE: BS: Okay, Where the Hell is Little Hawk??? From: Amos Maybe they were Travis monks. I mean, that would explain it, wouldn't it? Some monkeys pick their noses, some pick their butts. Travis monks are finger-pickers. A |
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15 Apr 09 - 09:44 PM (#2612111) Subject: RE: BS: Okay, Where the Hell is Little Hawk??? From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp It's pretty hard to pick anything at all if you ain't got fingers. There was a baboon I knew with that problem. He got 'em all bit off in a gang fight where he took on a bit more than he could chew. He had only one finger left on the right hand after that. Just enough to let people know when he didn't like 'em. I bet you know what the other monks and apes on the street called him.... "Fingers" - Chongo |
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15 Apr 09 - 10:04 PM (#2612129) Subject: RE: BS: Okay, Where the Hell is Little Hawk??? From: Rapparee Well, Chongo, I am meeting with the Chief of Police on Friday for lunch. He's pretty well connected around the country, if you take my drift. How would you like your PI license revoked? Oh, yeah -- he's got a gen-you-wine Thompson Submachine Gun in his office, too. Belongs to the city, of course, but it's the kind with 50 round drum magazine and all. Carries a wimpy little 9mm, but used +P+ rounds in it so it's got all the sting of .40. The rest of the cops carry Glock .45s. |
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15 Apr 09 - 10:06 PM (#2612133) Subject: RE: BS: Okay, Where the Hell is Little Hawk??? From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp Nifty. I would enjoy talkin' shop with him. - Chongo |
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15 Apr 09 - 10:17 PM (#2612139) Subject: RE: BS: Okay, Where the Hell is Little Hawk??? From: Amos Focus, Little Hawk!!! FOCUS!!! A |
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15 Apr 09 - 10:33 PM (#2612148) Subject: RE: BS: Okay, Where the Hell is Little Hawk??? From: Rapparee Me, I generally use a .22 hollow point. A head shot will just rattle around inside, like the boys did with Jimmy Hoffa, ya know? Most folks don't want to get shot anyway, so they kinda back off. But if I gotta, I have a .357 Magnum with 158 grain hollow points -- 95% of the time that will make you stop doing whatever you're doing with one shot, according the FBI -- just like a .45 ACP will, but I can also use .38 Specials in it. A nice .38 Special +P+ hollow point will make an impression on you too. But for REAL stopping power I MUCH prefer a side-by-side 12 gauge with #4 buckshot. Or with a slug round. Either one is pretty much 100% stopping power. There's something about that "ka-chunk" of the barrels closing that says "If I were you I wouldn't continue messin' around." |
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16 Apr 09 - 01:51 AM (#2612210) Subject: RE: BS: Okay, Where the Hell is Little Hawk??? From: Gurney Rapaire, I'm your FRIEND, right? |
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16 Apr 09 - 02:01 AM (#2612214) Subject: RE: BS: Okay, Where the Hell is Little Hawk??? From: Donuel Get well soon LH Slipping in a grocery store and falling on a pineapple is such a way as for it to get stuck in your ass is nothing to laugh at. |
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16 Apr 09 - 08:33 AM (#2612331) Subject: RE: BS: Okay, Where the Hell is Little Hawk??? From: Rapparee Just because I know how to do something doesn't mean I'll do it. Why, I've hardly ever shot someone who didn't need killin'. But these days I'd rather do 'em in in less messy ways -- I almost always replace the place on the carpet where I have to shoot someone (especially a friend), and it was getting expensive. So now I use more subtle methods, like fixing it so they die of old age. |
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16 Apr 09 - 10:31 AM (#2612389) Subject: RE: BS: Okay, Where the Hell is Little Hawk??? From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp I prefer watchin' 'em die of terminal stupidity. - Chongo |
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16 Apr 09 - 12:49 PM (#2612510) Subject: RE: BS: Okay, Where the Hell is Little Hawk??? From: beardedbruce LH Sighting! Subject: RE: BS: Texas Secession From: Little Hawk - PM Date: 16 Apr 09 - 12:46 PM |
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16 Apr 09 - 01:07 PM (#2612527) Subject: RE: BS: Okay, Where the Hell is Little Hawk??? From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp Aha! I knew he'd stick his head outta the foxhole for a look eventually. They always do, and that's when ya nail 'em... - Chongo |
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16 Apr 09 - 01:47 PM (#2612556) Subject: RE: BS: Okay, Where the Hell is Little Hawk??? From: VirginiaTam whew! thank gawd. i was worried that chongo might have hired shatner to kill LH off. |
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16 Apr 09 - 05:09 PM (#2612683) Subject: RE: BS: Okay, Where the Hell is Little Hawk??? From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp What???????? You gotta be kidding! LH is Shatner's biggest fan. He's also my good buddy, and if I wanted him killed off I certainly would not hire the job out to some bozo...or to Mr Shatner either...I'd do it myself. Up close and personal. What are friends for? - Chongo |
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16 Apr 09 - 05:45 PM (#2612710) Subject: RE: BS: Okay, Where the Hell is Little Hawk??? From: Rapparee When you're trapped in a cabin by the snow and your food has run out, you can have a friend over for dinner. REAL friends won't mind. |
