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15 Apr 09 - 03:04 PM (#2611878) Subject: BS: Medical and Biological Term Glossary ; ) From: Genie EmmaB posted this preliminary list in Severn's thread , no doubt operating on the premise that laughter is the best medicine: The Medical Dictionary Artery: Study of paintings. Bacteria: Back door to cafeteria. Caesarean Section; neighbourhood in Rome. Dilate: To live longer than your kids do. Enema: Not a friend. Fibula: A small lie. G.I. Series: An Army ball game. Hangnail: Coat hook. Impotent: Distinguished, well known. Labour Pain: Getting hurt at work. Morbid: A higher offer than I bid. Nitrates: Cheaper than day rates. Outpatient: A person who has fainted. Post Operative: Mail employee Rectum: Dang nearly killed him. Seizure: Roman emperor who lived in the Caesarean Section. Tumour: a total of three Urine: Opposite to you are out. Vein: Conceited. But it's not nearly complete. Here are a few additions: Urine: (alt) personal pronoun, "belonging to u" (as opposed to "mahn" or "our'n") Gluteus Maximus: an enlarged posterior resulting from gluten allergy Mammary: What you tend to lose if stricken by Alzheimer's or overconsumption of alcohol Navel: pertaining to a branch of the armed forces Humerus: really funny Rectus Abdominus: The state of the belly in middle-aged couch potatoes Abductor muscle: thugs who abet kidnappers q d: adorable person or animal Follicle: a really silly flavored frozen dessert on a stick Catatonic: Feline pharmaceutical CAT Scan: What neighborhoods are subjected to daily from millions of home windows PET Scan: feline scrutiny of other animals residing in the home or neighborhood (esp. birds, and small rodents) Bipolar: to purchase from far northern Alaska, Canada, Siberia, etc. Flatulent: apartment you loaned to a friend Still far from complete, of course. |
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15 Apr 09 - 03:52 PM (#2611897) Subject: RE: BS: Medical and Biological Term Glossary ; ) From: catspaw49 Here's a nice letter from Human Resources at a hospital outlining their opinion on additional terminology currently in use: TO: Medical Personnel FROM: Human Resources It has come to our attention from several emergency rooms that many EMS narratives have taken a decidedly creative direction lately. Effective immediately, all members are to refrain from using slang and abbreviations to describe patients, such as the following: Cardiac patients should not be referred to with MUH (messed up heart), PBS (pretty bad shape), PCL (pre-code looking) or HIBGIA (had it before, got it again). Stroke patients are NOT "Charlie Carrots," Nor are rescuers to use CCFCCP (Coo Coo for Cocoa Puffs) to describe their mental state. Trauma patients are not FDGB (fall down, go boom), TBC (total body crunch) or "hamburger helper". Similarly, descriptions of a car crash do not have to include phrases like "negative vehicle to vehicle interface" or "terminal deceleration syndrome." HAZMAT teams are highly trained professionals, NOT "glow worms." Persons with altered mental states as a result of drug use are not considered "pharmaceutically gifted." Gunshot wounds to the head are not "trans-occipital implants." The homeless are not "urban outdoorsmen", nor is endotracheal intubation referred to as a "PVC Challenge". And finally, do not refer to recently deceased persons as being "paws up," ART (assuming room temperature), CC (Cancel Christmas), CTD (circling the drain), or NLPR (no long playing records). I know you will all join me in respecting the cultural diversity of our patients to include their medical orientations in creating proper, narratives and log entries. Sincerely, Directory of Human Resources Spaw |
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15 Apr 09 - 04:50 PM (#2611932) Subject: RE: BS: Medical and Biological Term Glossary ; ) From: Emma B It's not always a 'joke'!!! In 2003 the BBC reported - "The inventive language created by doctors the world over to insult their patients - or each other - is in danger of becoming extinct. So says a doctor who has spent four years charting more than 200 colourful examples." " However, Dr Adam Fox, who works at St Mary's Hospital in London as a specialist registrar in its child allergy unit, says that far fewer doctors now annotate notes with abbreviations designed to spell out the unsayable truth about their patients. TOP MEDICAL ABBREVIATIONS CTD - Circling the Drain (A patient expected to die soon) GLM - Good looking Mum GPO - Good for Parts Only TEETH - Tried Everything Else, Try Homeopathy UBI - Unexplained Beer Injury The increasing rate of litigation means that there is a far higher chance that doctors will be asked in court to explain the exact meaning of NFN (Normal for Norfolk), FLK (Funny looking kid) or GROLIES (Guardian Reader Of Low Intelligence in Ethnic Skirt)." " Dr Fox recounts the tale of one doctor who had scribbled TTFO - an expletive expression roughly translated as "Told To Go Away" - on a patient's notes. He told BBC News Online: "This guy was asked by the judge what the acronym meant, and luckily for him he had the presence of mind to say: 'To take fluids orally'." "From LOBNH (Lights On But Nobody Home), CNS-QNS (Central Nervous System - Quantity Not Sufficient), to the delightful term "pumpkin positive", which refers to the implication that a penlight shone into the patient's mouth would encounter a brain so small that the whole head would light up. Regular visitors to A&E on a Friday or Saturday night are also classified. DBI refers to "Dirt Bag Index", and multiplies the number of tattoos with the number of missing teeth to give an estimate of the number of days since the patient last bathed. A PFO refers to a drunken patient who sustained injury falling over, while a PGT "Got Thumped" instead" 'Em' Guardian reader, occasionally ethnic skirt wearer :) |
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15 Apr 09 - 04:56 PM (#2611937) Subject: RE: BS: Medical and Biological Term Glossary ; ) From: Genie UBI - Unexplained Beer Injury: I LOVE it! LOL BTW, one uncharitable acronym in common usage by drs and nurses in hospitals is : GOMER |
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16 Apr 09 - 03:37 PM (#2612623) Subject: RE: BS: Medical and Biological Term Glossary ; ) From: Genie (Which, of course, stands for "Get Out [of] My Emergency Room" |
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16 Apr 09 - 04:42 PM (#2612664) Subject: RE: BS: Medical and Biological Term Glossary ; ) From: frogprince Circumlocution: talking one's foreskin off. |
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16 Apr 09 - 04:56 PM (#2612676) Subject: RE: BS: Medical and Biological Term Glossary ; ) From: Genie Then there's this: Vulva: A Swedish-made car that lasts a long time |
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16 Apr 09 - 06:26 PM (#2612734) Subject: RE: BS: Medical and Biological Term Glossary ; ) From: Jack Campin Vulva: A Swedish-made car that lasts a long time Yeah, but they have the notorious problem that when they get wet they give off sparks, won't get moving and their lights go out. |
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16 Apr 09 - 08:21 PM (#2612797) Subject: RE: BS: Medical and Biological Term Glossary ; ) From: frogprince And when you rev 'em up, they make some of the darndest sounds... |
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17 Apr 09 - 12:22 AM (#2612885) Subject: RE: BS: Medical and Biological Term Glossary ; ) From: Genie So I hear. |
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17 Apr 09 - 07:53 AM (#2613017) Subject: RE: BS: Medical and Biological Term Glossary ; ) From: HuwG Original file downloaded from this site, no longer active: DOCTORS' SLANG, MEDICAL SLANG AND MEDICAL ACRONYMS These have been mostly collected from the UK and USA, with a few non-English contributions (many thanks to all contributors from around the globe). Some of the acronyms are region-specific and have differing meanings in US and UK. It is noticeable that the US has numerous acronyms and slang terms relating to gun-related incidents and injuries. The slang/acronyms are directed variously at patients, other medical staff or mystifying medical conditions. I haven't included the slang terms for all of the various medical equipment. 4F - Fair, fat, female and forty (abdominal pain patient who is candidate for gall bladder disease) 4H - (US) Haemophiliac, Hispanic, Homosexual, Heroin addict Acute Lead Poisoning - Gunshot wound (Acute Lead Poisoning) 185 grain Injection - 9mm gunshot wound (Acute Lead Poisoning) 240 grain Injection 44 calibre magnum wound (Acute Lead Poisoning) Air-conditioned - Multiple gun shot wounds ADR - Ain't Doing Right AFU & BR - all f***ed up & beyond repair AGA - Acute Gravity Attack (fell over) AGMI - Ain't Gonna Make It (won't survive) AHF - Acute Hissy Fit ALS - Absolute Loss of Sanity (nutcase) Amyoyo syndrome - Alright motherf*****, you're on your own (seen in head injury patients in Intensive Care) Angel lust - a male corpse with an erection (not uncommon) APRS - (US) Acute Puerto Rican syndrome (bouts of screaming and yelling) AQP - Assuming the Q Position: deteriorating or dying with tongue hanging out AQR - Ain't Quite Right ART - Assuming Room Temperature (dead) Ash Cash - money for signing a cremation form Ash Point - where you collect the Ash Cash Assmosis - promotion by "kissing ass" AST - Assuming Seasonal Temperature (dead) ATFO - Asked To F*** Off Babygram -x-raying (radiographing) a newborn Bagged and Tagged (B&T) - Body ready for dispatch to morgue Bash Cash: the money paid for completing accident (insurance) claim forms in A&E BBCS - Bumps, Bruises, Cuts and Scrapes (i.e. no serious injuries) Beached whale - obese patient unable to do much for him/herself except lie there with flailing arms and legs Betty - a petient with diabetes Blade - Surgeon: dashing, bold, arrogant and often wrong, but never in doubt Blamestorming - apportioning of blame for mistakes, usually to any locum or lowliest medic in sight Blood Suckers - those who take blood samples, e.g. lab techs BMW - Bitch Moan & Whine Bobbing for apples - unblocking a badly constipated patient with one's finger BOHICA - Bend Over, Here It Comes Again Boogie - a tumour Bordeaux - bloodstained urine Bottle return - removing a bottle lodged in the anal canal Bounce - returning a turfed patient back to original dept (see also turf and buff) Brown trout - a stool that won't float (as opposed to an air biscuit, which does) BSS - Bilateral Samsonite Syndrome: patient admitted with both their bags packed in preparation BTSOOM - Beats The Sh*t Out Of Me Buff - re-hash the patient's story to make it sound more appropriate for the patient to be referred to another dept (see also turfing and bouncing) Bugs in the rug - pubic lice Bull in the ring - blockage in the large intestine BUNDY - But Unfortunately Not Dead Yet Bungee jumper - a patient who pulls on his catheter tube Bunnies - Sanitary Towels (sanitary napkins) Cabbage - heart bypass i.e. CABG (Coronary Artery Bypass Graft) Cephosplat - Domestos Antibiotic; Kills all known germs Ceiling Sign - near-levitation from the bed to the ceiling induced by examining for abdominal tenderness Celestial discharge - died Celestial transfer - died (transferred to the Eternal Care Unit) Champagne tap - bloodless lumbar tap Chandelier's Sign - The result of any test or probing after which the patient must be removed from the chandelier Chartomegaly - patient is so frequent s/he has a large (and growing) chart Cheerioma - a patient with a highly aggressive, malignant tumour CKS - cute kid syndrome CLL - chronic Low Life Code 0 - (Ambulance) Time-waster/tax-waster (genuine codes are Code 1 [non-serious] to Code 4 [emergency]) Code Brown - faecal incontinence emergency (e.g. of bedlinen) Code Yellow - urinary incontinence emergency Coffin Dodger - survived against expectations, or a very old person Cold-tea sign - refers to the several cups of cold tea on the bedside cabinet beside a dead geriatric (i.e. no-one noticed the patient had died) COPD - Chronic Old Persons Disease (unwell, no specific cause) Crackerjack referral - (UK) It's Friday, it's five to five, it's... (Crackerjack was a popular TV show) i.e. Friday afternoon job CRAFT - Can't Remember A F*cking Thing Cranio-faecal Syndrome - s**thead or s**t for brains CRI - Cranial-Rectal Insertion or Cranial-Rectal Inversion (head-up-ass syndrome) Crinkly - geriatric Crispy critter - severe burns case Crumble (crumbly) - elderly patient CRS - Can't Remember Sh*t CRT - Can't Really Treat CTD - Circling the Drain (Close To Death) CTS - Crazier than sh*t D&D - Divorced and Desperate (middle aged female who visits doctor weekly just for male attention) DACB - (US) Drunk As Cooter Brown (UK equivalent is PIAF) Dandruff on wheels - scabies or other transmissible flaky skin condition DBI - Dirt Bag Index: number of tattoos x number of missing teeth = days since the patient last bathed De-coke and Re-bore - Dilatation and curettage (gynae) op Deep fry - cobalt therapy Departure lounge - geriatric ward Dermaholiday - nickname for dermatology dept used by staff in busier depts DFO - (1) (US) Done Fell Out (anything from fainting to cardiac arrest) DFO - (2) Drunk and Fell Over DFO-SFJ - Done Fell Out - Screaming For Jesus Digging for Worms - varicose vein surgery DIIK - Darned if I know Discharged downstairs - transferred to the morgue DMFNFL - Dumb mother f*cker, not fit to live Donorcycle - motorbike: the biggest cause of donated organs! Double bind trial - Two orthopods looking at an electrocardiogram Double Whopper with Cheese - Obese female with genital thrush DPS - Dumb Parent Syndrome DRT - Dead Right There (patient dead at scene of accident) DRTTTT - Dead Right There, There, There and There (patient dead and in multiple parts at scene of accident) DSB - Drug-Seeking Behaviour (faking illness to fuel narcotic addiction) DTS - Danger To Shipping (in a particularly large patient's records) DWPA - Death With Paramedic Assistance Dude Factor - Survival scoring factor based on social worth. A high dude factor = an individual of questionable social worth who survives near-fatal injuries. A low dude factor = professional person who slips in the bathroom sustaining a fatal injury Eating In - Intravenous feeding ECU - Eternal Care Unit: heaven ("gone to the ECU = dead) ERCP - Emergency Retrograde Clerking of Patient, an emergency procedure before the consultant rounds Eternal Care - Intensive Care (for a petient who won't come out again) ETOH - Extremely Trashed or Hammered (possibly corruption of "Etho", meaning an ethanol addict) Expensive care - intensive care Family Care Plan - One child gets the sniffles, whole family gets a trip to A&E Fascinoma - Interesting pathology, but not as interesting as the ensuing politics over who gets first authorship when the case is written up FCBP - Fellow of the College of Bystander Physicians i.e. doctor having a look-see FD - F*cking drunk FDSTW - Found Dead Stayed That Way Feather Count - measure of flakiness (e.g. high feather count) Faecal Encephalopathy - Sh*t for brains FINE - F*cked up , insecure, neurotic & emotional FIRT - Failed impact resistance test (crash victim) FITH - F***ed in the head Fluttering Eye Syndrome - Patient faking unconsciousness FLB - Funny Little Bumps (unexplained skin bumps) FLK - Funny Looking Kid (sometimes suggests rural inbreeding) FLK w/ GLM - Funny Looking Kid with a Good Looking Mother Flower Sign - flowers at a bedside, denotes patient has a supportive family and might be candidate for early discharge FLP - Funny Looking Parents (hereditary cause suspected for FLK) FODE - Falling On Deaf Ears FORD - Found On Road Dead FOOSH - Fall Onto Outstretched Hand (as cause of broken wrist/arm) FOS - Full Of Sh*t (severely constipated FPO - For practice only (FTD) Frequent Flyer - Someone who is transported to and from hospital on a routine basis Freud Squad - psychiatrists Friday construction - Anatomical equivalent of the cars made on Fridays, when the workers mind was more on the weekend than the job in hand FTD - Fixing To Die FTF - Failed to Fly (botched suicide) Gassers - anaesthetists GDA - Gonna die anyway GLM - Good Looking Mum GOA - Gone On Arrival (police turn up, ambulance turns up, fire brigade turns up, patient doesn't) Goat Rodeo - Emergency scene which goes badly (resembles a bunch of people riding or wrestling goats) GOK - God Only Knows Golden ass - affluent mother who treats the obstetrics nurses like servants GOMER - Get Out of My Emergency Room; extended to mean elderly patient who is unable to communicate their symptoms and passed from one department to another Gomergram - Ordering all available tests because the person is unable to explain what is wrong with them Gone Camping - patient in oxygen tent Goober - nutter Gork - comatose or brain dead Gorked Out - mental impairment through disease or substance abuse Go to Ground - fall out of bed or chair GPH - Goddamns Per Hour GPO - Good for Parts Only (won't survive) Granny Farm - old persons' residential home, run by a Granny Farmer Grape Sign - grapes at a bedside, denotes patient has a supportive family and might be candidate for early discharge Gravity Assisted Concrete Poisoning - jumped/fell from height GROLIES - (UK) Guardian Reader Of Low Intellect In Ethnic Skirt GTO - Gomer tip over (elderly person with injury from trip or fall) GTTL - Gone to the light (died) Guessing tubes - stethoscope HAIRY PSALMS - Haven't Any Idea Regarding Your Patient, Send A Lot More Serum HALS - Hit And Left Standing (apparently uninjured but in shock after RTA/MVA) Hamburger (Helper) - Train or juggernaut vs pedestrian Handbag positive - confused patient (usually elderly lady) lying on hospital bed clutching handbag Happy feet - (US) patient having a grand mal epileptic seizure (in UK, Happy feet means smelly feet (feet which "hum" [stink]) HIBGIA - Had it before, got it again High Serum Porcelain Level - Patient is a crock of sh*t Hippo - Hypochondriac or depressive HMO - From phrase, "Hey, Moe!", a concept pioneered by Dr Moe Howard, who discovered that a patient could be made to forget about the pain in his foot if he was poked hard enough elsewhere. Modern "pokes" with same outcome include estimates for private treatment. House red - blood HTD - Higher Than a Duck HTK - Higher Than a Kite HVLT - High Velocity Lead Poisoning: gunshot wound Improving His Claim - Victim of minor accident, needs no treatment but wants something to support his insurance/legal claim. Inbreds - doctors whose parents are also doctors Insurance Pain - Neck pain secondary to a minor car bump Insurance Whiplash - Neck pain secondary to a minor car bump ITBNTL - In The Box, Nail The Lid (dead or dying) JLD - Just Like Dad (often used to explain an FLK) Journal of Anecdotal Medicine - favourite, but unwritten, source of medical wisdom J P FROG - Just Plain F***ing Ran Out Of Gas (old age etc) Kidney Stone Squirm - a spot diagnosis in A&E Leeches - those who take blood samples, e.g. lab techs LMC - Low marble count (low IQ) LOBNH - Lights On But Nobody Home LOFD - Looks Okay From Door LOL - Little Old Lady LOLINAD - Little Old Lady In No Acute Distress LPT - Low pain threshold LRO - Luck Ran Out (cheated death before, but not this time) LWS - (US) Low Wallet Syndrome (No medical insurance or money) M sign - Patient just goes "Mmmm" Map of Antarctica - (NZ) appearance of fatal spontaneous brain haemorrhage on CT scan MARPs - Mind Altering Recreational Pharmaceuticals MCBP - Member of the College of Bystander Physicians i.e. doctor having a look-see Metabolic clinic - the tea room MFI - very large myocardial infarction MGM syndrome - Faker putting on a real good show MICO - Masterly Inactivity and Catlike Observation MICOS - Masterly inactivity, cat-like observation and steroids Microdeckia - Micro = small, deck = deck of cards; patient playing with less that a full deck (low IQ) MUH - Messed up heart n=1 trial - polite term for experimenting on a patient NAD - Not actually done NARS - Not a rocket scientist (low IQ) Neuro-faecal Syndrome - s**t for brains NFN - Normal for Norfolk (rural area, suggests inbreeding or quaint rural oddness), might explain FLK NGMI - Not Going to Make It NKDA - Not known, didn't ask NLPR - No longer playing records (dying) NPS - New Parent Syndrome NQR - Not Quite Right NSA - Non-Standard Appearance (what a FLK grows into) O sign - Patient unconscious with mouth open OAP - Over-Anxious Patient OBS - Obvious bullsh*t OFIG - One Foot In the Grave OFIGATOOS - One Foot In the Grave And The Other One Slipping Ohno-second - The time from making an error (e.g. dropping that hard-to-get sample immediately after you got it) to going "oh-no" Oil slick - (1991, NZ) - appearance on CT scan of a porencephalic cyst Oligoneuronal - "few brain cells" i.e. thick (not very bright) (Note: In the UK, "dumb" means "mute") Ooh-Aahs - Those who gather to gawk at an emergency and go "Oooh, Aaah" PAFO - Pissed [Drunk] And Fell Over Paninvestigram - order all the tests; for when you haven't got a clue what's going on Paperweight - (NZ) very small patient with severe congenital mental retardation Parentectomy - removing parents as an effective cure for a child's problems Pathology outpatients - Follow-up for dead people Paws Up - dead PBAB - Pine Box At Bedside PBS - Pretty bad shape PBOO - Pine Box On Order Percussive maintenance - the sharp tap/bang which cures faulty equipment Pest control - term applied to psychiatrists by casualty officers PFO - Pissed [Drunk] and Fell Over PGT - Pissed [Drunk] and Got Thumped Pharmaceutically Enhanced Personality - stoned or medicated PHAT - Pretty Hot and Tempting (warning to others) PIA - Pain in the ass PIAF - Pissed as a fart PID shuffle - apot diagnosis in A&E (Pelvic Inflammatroy Disease) PIMBA - (Brazil) swollen-footed, drunk, run-over beggar PITA - Pain in the ass PLH - Pray Long and Hard Plumboscillation - swinging the lead (malingering) Plumbum oscillans - Latin for "swinging the lead" (malingering) i.e seeking a sick note to take time off work Pneumo-cephalic - airhead Podo-Oral - Foot in Mouth (i.e. put one's foot in it - rarely used BY senior staff, sometimes used ABOUT them) Policeman Lesion - lesion on an X-ray so obvious that a policeman would spot it Polydipose Dysfunction - big, fat patient (polydipose being invented plural of adipose [fat]) Pop Drop - granny dumping (dumping elderly relative at Casualty dept) Porcelain Level - fictitious blood test ordered to communicate to colleague that the patient is malingering (crock of sh*t) PPP - Piss poor protoplasm PPA - Practicing Professional Alcoholic PRATFO - Patient Reassured And Told to F*** Off Psychoceramics - geriatrics Pumpkin Positive - a penlight shone into the patient's mouth/ear would encounter a brain so small that the whole head would light up Q sign - Patient unconscious/terminal with mouth open and tongue hanging out; "Dotted Q" means flies land on tongue (dead/dying) Qwertyitis - what a doctor suffers from when he spends more time on a computer than with actual patients QID - Queen in distress (hissy fit) Q-Tip - Elderly person (white haired old person) (Q-Tip is a cotton bud) Rabbit - over-talkative (from slang "Rabbit & Pork - talk) Raisin Farm - old person's home, geriatric ward etc (also Raisin Farmer - person who runs old persons' home) RBG - Received by God (a person in receipt of a Celestial Transfer) RBS - Really Bad Shape Rear Admiral - proctologist Rear Admiralty - proctology dept Removal men - dept of care of elderly people Retrospectoscope - instrument of hindsight Rheumaholiday - rheumatology (considered by hard-pressed juniors to be a less busy dept) Road Chilli - Unrestrained driver/motorcyclist or passenger, ejected and splattered Road Pizza - Unrestrained driver/motorcyclist or passenger, ejected and splattered Rocket Room - a ward/unit where there are many deaths (many transfers to heaven) Rocking horse stool - even rarer than hen's teeth Rose cottage - mortuary Rounding Up The Usual Suspects - Ordering a set of tests for a given set of symptoms RPVU - Relative Porsche Value Unit: surgical index of potential income from the repair of patient injuries, usually orthopaedic in nature. Fractured finger = a windscreen wiper; a fractured hip = new tyres etc. Rule of Five - if more than five of the patient's orifices are obscured by tubing, he has no chance Saddles - Maternity sanitary towels (napkins), so called for their size and the bow-legged effect of wearing them SBLEO - (pronounced S-B-Leo) Suicide By Law Enforcement Officer SBOD - Stupid bitch/bastard on drugs Scepticaemia - chronic condition suffered by two doctors in a debate over which therapy Scratch and sniff - gynaecological examination September club - the students who have to return after summer holidays for retakes Serum porcelain - battery of blood tests on an elderly patient Serum rhubarb - What they test for at tertiary centres SF Scale - Sphincter Factor Scale: 1 to 10 scale indicating degree of bowel-loosening in response to an emergency Shandy Tap - bloodless lumbar puncture Sh*ts & Spits - lab tech term for a patient's stool and sputum samples; also the instruction to obtain these samples Shotgunning - Ordering of a vast array of tests in the hopes that one or other of them will give an idea of what is wrong with a patient Sick - Really sick i.e. FTD (Fixing To Die) or CTD (Circling The Drain) Sidewalk Souffle - (US) suicide-by-jumping Sieve - a doctor who admits almost every patient he sees SIG - Stroppy Ignorant Girl Silver Bracelet Award - patient is a prisoner brought in wearing cuffs SIO - Sleeping It Off Slashers - general surgeons Slough - a patient inappropriately or unfairly unloaded from one hosptial unit on another Smiling Mighty Jesus - (US) spinal meningitis (also Screamin' Mighty Jesus) Smurf Sign - patient blue or going blue SWAG - Scientific Wild Ass Guess SWW - Sick, wet and whiny (infant) SYB - Save Your Breath (for patients who don't take advice) TATT - Talks All The Time (also "Tired All The Time") T&T Sign - Tattoo-to-Teeth Sign: survival indicator; those who are tattooed and toothless will survive major injuries Tax-Sucker - Someone who does not need an ambulance, but calls anyway because it's free TBC - Total Body Crunch: multiple injuries TDS - Terminal deceleration syndrome (e.g. RTA death, high-rise syndrome, jump-suicides and parachute-failed-to-open) TEETH - Tried Everything Else, Try Homeopathy TF BUNDY - Totally f*cked, but unfortunately not dead yet THC - Three hots and a cot; sought in A&E by the local homeless Throckmorton's Sign - in the unconscious male, the penis points to the injury TMB - Too Many Birthdays: person dying of "old age" Toaster - defibrillator Trans-occipital implants - bullet wound to the head Trauma Gods - Mythological deities whom A&E personnel believe to be the cause of major emergencies Treat 'n' street - A&E's term for quick patient turnaround Trick cyclists - psychiatrists TRO - Time ran out TSL - To Stupid to Live TTFO - Told To F*ck Off TTR - (UK) Tea Time Review (a ripping yarn?) TTR - (US) Tattoo-to-Tooth Ratio (Dirtbag Ratio) TUBE - Totally Unnecessary Breast Examination (might happen to a GLM) Turf - get rid of patient by referring to another team (see also buffing, sloughing and bouncing) UBI - Unexplained Beer Injury Unclear medicine - nuclear medicine UNIVAC - Unusually Nasty Infection, Vultures are Circling VAC - Vultures are Circling (dying) Vampires - those who take blood samples, e.g. lab techs (also slang for blood donor service) Velcro - Family or friends accompanying patient everywhere VIP - Very intoxicated person Vitamin V - Diazepam Vitamin H - Haldol Vitamin P - Lasix (diuretic) given to stimulate urination (peeing) in post-operative patients WADAO - Weak And Dizzy All Over Wall - a doctor who resists admitting patients at all costs Wallet Biopsy - (US) free medical test performed by hospital insurance department before patient is treated White Mice - tampons WNL - (Ambulance/casualty) Within Normal Limits, but more often interpreted as We Never Looked WNL - Will Not Listen; patient won't take medical advice Woolworth's Test - (UK anaesthesia) if you can imagine patient shopping in Woolies, it's safe to give a general anaesthetic WWI - Walking while intoxicated (and fell over) Wrinkly - geriatric YOYO - You're on your own (message passed from one doctor to another regarding problem/mystifying cases) Note: Any dept ending in "-ology" is likely to be nicknamed "-holiday" by those working in busier depts. THE INFORMAL FAECAL HARDNESS SCALE As used in microbiology depts runs from "Hard as Bullets" to "Could go through the Eye of a Needle" with appropriate analogies inbetween. |
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17 Apr 09 - 08:32 AM (#2613039) Subject: RE: BS: Medical and Biological Term Glossary ; ) From: Becca72 I'm sorry, but some of those are friggin' FUNNY, speaking as someone who works in the medical field. :-) ART hehehehe |
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17 Apr 09 - 12:57 PM (#2613199) Subject: RE: BS: Medical and Biological Term Glossary ; ) From: Genie I think the "wallet biopsy" is also commonly referred to as a "W-Scan" ("wallet scan" - done, of course, when one seeks help at a hospital or clinic. |
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17 Apr 09 - 01:01 PM (#2613202) Subject: RE: BS: Medical and Biological Term Glossary ; ) From: Genie This one is hilarious! "ETOH - Extremely Trashed or Hammered (possibly corruption of "Etho", meaning an ethanol addict)" "ETOH" is medical 'shorthand' for "ethyl alcohol" (or at least it was when I worked in a [psychiatric] hospital). "Extremely trashed or hammered" would have applied to many of our admissions. |
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17 Apr 09 - 02:45 PM (#2613297) Subject: RE: BS: Medical and Biological Term Glossary ; ) From: Jim Dixon Proctoscope: A long tube with an asshole on both ends. |
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18 Apr 09 - 02:18 AM (#2613649) Subject: RE: BS: Medical and Biological Term Glossary ; ) From: Genie "Pseudomonas" - the cries of women faking orgasm |
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18 Apr 09 - 02:10 PM (#2613947) Subject: RE: BS: Medical and Biological Term Glossary ; ) From: Genie "Inpatient" - Where sponges and latex gloves are left after surgery |
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19 Apr 09 - 11:22 AM (#2614385) Subject: RE: BS: Medical and Biological Term Glossary ; ) From: Ed T Maybe some of the same acronyms, but there are quite a large # here: http://www.messybeast.com/dragonqueen/medical-acronyms.htm |
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22 Apr 09 - 01:31 AM (#2616124) Subject: RE: BS: Medical and Biological Term Glossary ; ) From: Genie Another addition to the lexicon: "Urinate" - But if you lost 10 lb and got a better hairstyle, you could be at least a 9. |
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22 Apr 09 - 07:37 AM (#2616212) Subject: RE: BS: Medical and Biological Term Glossary ; ) From: Georgiansilver Kidney = Joint in a childs leg. Elbow = Ribbon at the entrance to the Devils domain. Collar bone = What the Police catch hold of when you're nicked. Sternum = The Police officers look. Carpals = Tow Trucks Mandible = Instruction to look after male cattle Rectum = Didn't do them much good Testicle = A light touch to provoke a reaction Hip = Something that's with it! Glutimus Maximus = Greek Leaders muscle Colon = A couple of spots on the body Vertebra = Ladies green underwear |