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BS: If [pets] Had Opposable Thumbs

14 Aug 09 - 11:52 AM (#2700239)
Subject: BS: If [pets] Had Opposable Thumbs
From: wysiwyg

Cat-"owners" know that they have actually been enslaved by their cats to open cans of [any]fish for them. (I suspect they may actually already HAVE opposable thumbs (OTs), but will not let us SEE them..... at any rate, if YOUR pet had OTs, what's some of the stuff they'd do?

Isis (cat) would use hers to wield the knife so she could eat our livers. Instead of waiting for our eventual deaths in our recliners, she'd take ruthless action. She might then cook them for friends-- we found her last night lurking in an obscure storage cabinet on top of a set of electric cooktop burners not in use. LOOKING AT US.

~Susan


14 Aug 09 - 05:14 PM (#2700439)
Subject: RE: BS: If [pets] Had Opposable Thumbs
From: Liz the Squeak

My little darling would use it to get that damned snail out from under the cooker where it's taken up residence... he's been picking at it for days now!

LTS


14 Aug 09 - 05:29 PM (#2700460)
Subject: RE: BS: If [pets] Had Opposable Thumbs
From: heric

My precious would probably just pick her butt with it, as she's a dog. But she might throw overhand and play-fetch herself to death.


14 Aug 09 - 07:54 PM (#2700585)
Subject: RE: BS: If [pets] Had Opposable Thumbs
From: McGrath of Harlow

They could hitch lifts.


14 Aug 09 - 08:11 PM (#2700599)
Subject: RE: BS: If [pets] Had Opposable Thumbs
From: gnu

They would booby trap your appliances and eat you after the "accident".


14 Aug 09 - 08:26 PM (#2700607)
Subject: RE: BS: If [pets] Had Opposable Thumbs
From: wysiwyg

Electric blankets..... scary. Would they dial the fire department, or bask?

~S~


14 Aug 09 - 11:41 PM (#2700702)
Subject: RE: BS: If [pets] Had Opposable Thumbs
From: Richard Bridge

I suspect that Benjamin (dog) would find it a lot easier to hold the pencil to do the Times Crossword.


15 Aug 09 - 02:42 AM (#2700736)
Subject: RE: BS: If [pets] Had Opposable Thumbs
From: Liz the Squeak

Not if there's a cat around.. the cat would sit on the exact bit of paper where the clues are, despite there being 4 acres of paper not being read!

LTS


15 Aug 09 - 03:15 AM (#2700747)
Subject: RE: BS: If [pets] Had Opposable Thumbs
From: Richard Bridge

And it would probably puke up a hairball on the rest.


15 Aug 09 - 03:58 AM (#2700756)
Subject: RE: BS: If [pets] Had Opposable Thumbs
From: MudGuard

pets with opposable thumbs?

Oppossums ...


15 Aug 09 - 12:16 PM (#2700937)
Subject: RE: BS: If [pets] Had Opposable Thumbs
From: Desert Dancer

opossum thumbs


15 Aug 09 - 02:35 PM (#2701053)
Subject: RE: BS: If [pets] Had Opposable Thumbs
From: heric

You know the Hub Possum Stomp is an anagram for that. As is Busts Homo Pumps, but . . .


15 Aug 09 - 04:59 PM (#2701179)
Subject: RE: BS: If [pets] Had Opposable Thumbs
From: Gorgeous Gary

All I know is that if our two cats had opposable thumbs, we'd be in trouble! Not exactly sure how, just that we would be. At the very least, I know our Nova would probably wreak all sorts of havoc on my computer. She'd also probably empty out our nighttable drawers. (All sorts of toys in there!)

-- Gary


15 Aug 09 - 05:04 PM (#2701184)
Subject: RE: BS: If [pets] Had Opposable Thumbs
From: Bill D

"She'd also probably empty out our nighttable drawers. (All sorts of toys in there!)"

7 or 8 clever but risqué remarks considered here...but ultimately rejected. Use your imagination.


15 Aug 09 - 05:13 PM (#2701191)
Subject: RE: BS: If [pets] Had Opposable Thumbs
From: Amos

"I'm picking up good vibrations...good, good, good vibrations...."
For sure they would let themselves in and out, open cupboards and drag pots and pans out for entertainment....

A


15 Aug 09 - 06:17 PM (#2701234)
Subject: RE: BS: If [pets] Had Opposable Thumbs
From: gnu

Like rugrats.


15 Aug 09 - 06:44 PM (#2701250)
Subject: RE: BS: If [pets] Had Opposable Thumbs
From: Uncle Phil

If the dog had thumbs he could open the refrigerator and we'd always be out of cheese.
- Phil


15 Aug 09 - 07:44 PM (#2701282)
Subject: RE: BS: If [pets] Had Opposable Thumbs
From: Eric the Viking

Not having thumbs never stopped Warlock our first golden labrador opening fridges and stealing stuff. Only childproof catches did that. Loki (the cat) would drive the camper as he enjoys trips out. Good job he can't release his lead/harness or there would be huge trouble especially with Aragon the lab. The cat would make his life a misery.


15 Aug 09 - 07:50 PM (#2701284)
Subject: RE: BS: If [pets] Had Opposable Thumbs
From: Richard Bridge

Both Benjamin and Bonnie (the not-very-intellectual Great Dane) learned how to open lever handle doors in seconds flat. I have known cats to toboggan down bannisters to get the right flight-path onto door levers to allow their lower body mass to obtain a similar effect.

The human answer is to turn the door-lever round by 90 degrees. The sideways action defeats the animal (and some humans too).


16 Aug 09 - 12:21 AM (#2701411)
Subject: RE: BS: If [pets] Had Opposable Thumbs
From: Amos

The image of that cat tobogganing down a bannister in order to hit a door handle right will say with me for a long time, Richard!! :D



A


16 Aug 09 - 05:42 AM (#2701464)
Subject: RE: BS: If [pets] Had Opposable Thumbs
From: Llanfair

Monty, the border collie, would be able to drive with opposable thumbs, Spike, his son would be a gourmet cook. Willow, his mother, of course would do nothing, her being a princess and all.......


16 Aug 09 - 10:25 AM (#2701557)
Subject: RE: BS: If [pets] Had Opposable Thumbs
From: Bat Goddess

Back in the day...(days of four felinities instead of two)...

In order to be let in the house:

Marmalade would sit on the shelf outside the kitchen window and silently go "eh" (his version of the silent meow) and think really hard, "Let me in, let me in" -- and we'd let him in.

Calliope would get into the same place, rear on her hind legs and scratch on the window. We'd let her in.

Foolish would sit in the middle of the driveway and make a noise like he was being torn to shreds by dogs...and we'd let him in.

Peppersass, however, had made the connection between the doorknob and the door's ability to open and close. But, alas, he didn't have opposable thumbs. So he hang from the doorknob and swing back and forth and make such a row we'd let him in.

Linn


16 Aug 09 - 11:22 AM (#2701577)
Subject: RE: BS: If [pets] Had Opposable Thumbs
From: Gorgeous Gary

Bill:

(*laughs*) Yeah, I guess I did leave a nice hanging curve ball over the plate there... 8-)

Sadly, the contents of my nighttable drawers are fairly boring, at least in that regard. Mostly an assortment of loose coins, watches, bookmarks, pens, old ticket stubs, a couple of Swiss Army knives, various membership cards, a couple of old alarm clocks, a Sony Walkman, and my old 35mm film camera.

-- Gary


16 Aug 09 - 11:58 AM (#2701599)
Subject: RE: BS: If [pets] Had Opposable Thumbs
From: wysiwyg

Yes but if your pet had opposable thumbs all that stuff would be in your CASE. Just to mess with your head, the nightstand and case contents would be swapped around. And the silverware in the kitchen-- fuhgeddabouddit-- that would reside in your TV stand's DVD storage drawer.

~S~


16 Aug 09 - 06:19 PM (#2701857)
Subject: RE: BS: If [pets] Had Opposable Thumbs
From: Art Thieme

Susan,

If they had thumbs they would hire themselves out as film critics to Public Television.

The thumbs would be useful to indicate whether they liked the flick --------------------- or not.

(Art)


16 Aug 09 - 11:17 PM (#2701993)
Subject: RE: BS: If [pets] Had Opposable Thumbs
From: JenEllen

Angus would be able to play both the bass and treble staff notes on the piano---William Tell Overture---and sing his favorite song:
to-the-park-to-the-park-to-the-park-park-park
to-the-place-where-we-go-and-we-bark-bark-bark
makes-us-happy-as-a-lark-lark-lark
to-the-paaaaaaaaark
to-the-park-park-park
*BG*


17 Aug 09 - 05:33 AM (#2702081)
Subject: RE: BS: If [pets] Had Opposable Thumbs
From: wysiwyg

She wins!

Hey darlin'-- great to see you.

~Susan


17 Aug 09 - 02:00 PM (#2702348)
Subject: RE: BS: If [pets] Had Opposable Thumbs
From: Anne Lister

Persia would work out (at last) how to open the upstairs windows to their fuller extent and then leap onto unsuspecting intruding cats in the garden, instead of swearing at them from the window sill.

As well as working out how to open her own foil packets of food (and the fridge).


17 Aug 09 - 05:44 PM (#2702560)
Subject: RE: BS: If [pets] Had Opposable Thumbs
From: Art Thieme

This thread is really thumbthing.

My rather dense uncle lost the thumb on his right hand. Ever since that happened he had to unzip his pants to count to ten.

Art Thieme


17 Aug 09 - 07:07 PM (#2702631)
Subject: RE: BS: If [pets] Had Opposable Thumbs
From: wysiwyg

How many dogs would get into the Viagra?

~S~


17 Aug 09 - 11:03 PM (#2702798)
Subject: RE: BS: If [pets] Had Opposable Thumbs
From: Donuel

If [pets] Had Opposable Thumbs, I'd be getting the rectal thermometer.


18 Aug 09 - 12:42 AM (#2702842)
Subject: RE: BS: If [pets] Had Opposable Thumbs
From: Lonesome EJ

I would probably be scratching the screen door to be let in, because, except for the opposable thumbs deal, I think my cat'd be running the place, frankly.


24 Aug 09 - 11:15 PM (#2707815)
Subject: RE: BS: If [pets] Had Opposable Thumbs
From: wysiwyg

THEY'D WARP THE INTERNET CONTINUUM

~S~


25 Aug 09 - 09:43 PM (#2708647)
Subject: RE: BS: If [pets] Had Opposable Thumbs
From: Uncle Phil

So anyway I had near about forgot this thread, but then I saw my neighbor's dog sittin' in the driveway licking his balls and that got me thinking that, if he had opposable thumbs where he could like, uh, grasp the situation, so to speak, that opening the refrigerator just might not be his top priority. I'm just sayin'…
- Phil


25 Aug 09 - 10:39 PM (#2708667)
Subject: RE: BS: If [pets] Had Opposable Thumbs
From: wysiwyg

I hear ya. :~)

~S~