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BS: Mermaid

14 Aug 09 - 01:37 PM (#2700293)
Subject: BS: Mermaid
From: curmudgeon

On Friday morn, we set sail ...


14 Aug 09 - 03:41 PM (#2700378)
Subject: RE: BS: Mermaid
From: frogprince

Two old Native Americans sat, a few yards apart, fishing from the shore of Chesapeake Bay. One looked over at the right moment to see the other reel in a mermaid, unhook her, and release her back into the water. The observer got up, walked over to the other, and said "Why?" The other just looked up and replied,

                            "How"

(From some guest on the Tonight show, 50 years ago.)


14 Aug 09 - 03:50 PM (#2700382)
Subject: RE: BS: Mermaid
From: gnu

Gonna hit Loch Ness afterward?


14 Aug 09 - 05:19 PM (#2700446)
Subject: RE: BS: Mermaid
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp

If it is a real Mermaid, then they gotta use the right bait or they'll never catch her. What they gotta do is dress some good lookin' man up as a Merman and have him hang around on the beach. He should have a full beard and long hair, cos Mermen don't shave or get haircuts, accordin' to legend. If she is there, she will eventually come out of the water to investigate, and that's when photos can be taken to prove or disprove this thing once and fer all, plus they might even catch her if they plan it right.

Now, if she was Hillary Clinton, fer example, then you could use a half-open suitcase with what looked like a couple billion dollars in it to get her to come out of the water, but that's another matter. So never mind. Just get a good Merman impostor in place, some guys with strong nets in hiding near him, and that should do it.

- Chongo


14 Aug 09 - 05:27 PM (#2700455)
Subject: RE: BS: Mermaid
From: Georgiansilver

Amazing how much attention a seal can get when caught in odd light and a bit far from home !!!!!


14 Aug 09 - 05:30 PM (#2700461)
Subject: RE: BS: Mermaid
From: Little Hawk

That's true. Just think, for instance, what would happen if the Queen of England entered her bedroom and found a seal on the bed calmly grooming itself.


14 Aug 09 - 07:27 PM (#2700556)
Subject: RE: BS: Mermaid
From: Q (Frank Staplin)

Lizzie would have a tizzy- or did I misinterpret?


14 Aug 09 - 07:43 PM (#2700567)
Subject: RE: BS: Mermaid
From: Tug the Cox

I've seen her, great figure,   38, 23, and ten shillings a pound. ( OK, so its an old one)


14 Aug 09 - 09:18 PM (#2700640)
Subject: RE: BS: Mermaid
From: Charley Noble

No good will come from this thread, I predict.

Mermaids or Merimaids always bring bad luck. Ships sink, sailors drown, love ones weep!

Whatever!

Charley Noble, who knows better!


14 Aug 09 - 09:46 PM (#2700652)
Subject: RE: BS: Mermaid
From: Rapparee

I'd like to open a mermade stand out in front of the house. Does anyone have a good recipe for mermade? Where can I buy merms?


14 Aug 09 - 10:12 PM (#2700668)
Subject: RE: BS: Mermaid
From: Little Hawk

The merm is a dark green fruit resembling a lime, but it has a sweet and tangy taste that is quite agreeable. They can be found in tropical forests above 2,000 feet, mostly on small islands in the Pacific. Mermade is a terrific drink and will restore insouciance with a minimum of 3 doses over a 24 hour period.


15 Aug 09 - 01:57 AM (#2700730)
Subject: RE: BS: Mermaid
From: Georgiansilver

Mermaids are actually resident in Liverpool UK.. and when walking that great city you can often hear the dulcet tones of another shouting "Shut up you stupid Mer"


15 Aug 09 - 07:31 AM (#2700827)
Subject: RE: BS: Mermaid
From: Bobert

The ship went down in the icey water
Captain cried, "Where is my daughter?
Put her in a lifebaot, she must go free
Chain my body to the masthead, I would rather see myself dead
Then to see her drowning in the sea."

Wild geese were flyin' low
Saw the sinking ship below
Heard the final cries of the crew
Well, a vigil thru the stormy night
But with the dawn no life in sight
So onward to the South the wild geese flew

Sometimes in the night a passin'
Sailors hear a frigthfull laughing
A warning from the rocks to stay clear
Some say it is the maiden
Still alone and forsaken
Waiting for the angels to appear

So if you're sailing inn the Northern waters
And you meet the captain's daughter
Leave her golden apples, one, two, three
Do not cast away your eyes
Do not speak to her with lies
Or' else you'll never leave the Iceland sea

For I have lived beneath the deep
The oceans and her secrets keep
And I know where the legends come and gp
Where kings and queens and paupers too
Have written down the truth for you
And time is now and will be long ago

(Paul Seibel)

(From Bobert's mememory so don't hold me to each word...)

B~


15 Aug 09 - 08:45 AM (#2700841)
Subject: RE: BS: Mermaid
From: Dead Horse

I thought they come as a trio, accompanied by wise men.
The other two being a Gold-maid and a Frankincense-maid


16 Aug 09 - 03:57 AM (#2701446)
Subject: RE: BS: Mermaid
From: Gurney

I started to read the article, but when I got to '....laying on the sand in a weird way..' it got too weird for me!


16 Aug 09 - 04:04 AM (#2701447)
Subject: RE: BS: Mermaid
From: Michael

Little Hawk - The Lord Privy Seal? (and what he was privy to in the privy we shall never know)

Mike


16 Aug 09 - 01:14 PM (#2701654)
Subject: RE: BS: Mermaid
From: Little Hawk

That's it! Brilliant deduction on your part, Michael.


16 Aug 09 - 01:40 PM (#2701674)
Subject: RE: BS: Mermaid
From: Stringsinger

In an imaginary alluring image of a Siren, which would you prefer, the body of a woman with the head of a fish or vice versa?

It's a consummation devoutly to be fished.


16 Aug 09 - 02:52 PM (#2701732)
Subject: RE: BS: Mermaid
From: Rapparee

Isn't taking a seal into a privy for immoral porpoises a crime, even if you're a Lord and own the privy?


17 Aug 09 - 10:26 AM (#2702204)
Subject: RE: BS: Mermaid
From: Dead Horse

But seals just love to balance balls on their noses, Your Honour!


17 Aug 09 - 07:42 PM (#2702660)
Subject: RE: BS: Mermaid
From: Bee-dubya-ell

"Looks like you blew a seal."

"Naw, man, it's just tartar sauce."