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12 Oct 09 - 12:28 PM (#2744205) Subject: Gentleman is a man who... From: MGM·Lion One of the most common definitions, given many different attributions in Google so probably anonymous, is "A gentleman is a man who can play the accordion but doesn't." Hands up: who thinks that funny? who thinks it merely smartarse [as I do]? Does anyone know any comparable variants? |
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12 Oct 09 - 12:32 PM (#2744209) Subject: RE: Gentleman is a man who... From: Wesley S I always heard it was the banjo. As a banjo joke it's funny. |
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12 Oct 09 - 12:37 PM (#2744213) Subject: RE: Gentleman is a man who... From: John MacKenzie Takes the weight on his elbows |
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12 Oct 09 - 12:38 PM (#2744214) Subject: RE: Gentleman is a man who... From: gnu I thought one used shoulder straps for that, G. |
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12 Oct 09 - 12:47 PM (#2744225) Subject: RE: Gentleman is a man who... From: GUEST In Ireland, of course, the term "gentleman piper" has a particular resonance (so to speak). Click here for an interesting example. |
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12 Oct 09 - 01:04 PM (#2744237) Subject: RE: Gentleman is a man who... From: The Sandman a Gentleman is someone who is not a Player. or Is that not cricket |
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12 Oct 09 - 02:08 PM (#2744286) Subject: RE: Gentleman is a man who... From: mandotim ...has grass stains on knees AND elbows... |
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12 Oct 09 - 02:25 PM (#2744302) Subject: RE: Gentleman is a man who... From: BobKnight I thought it was, "a drummer is someone who hangs about with musicians." |
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12 Oct 09 - 03:50 PM (#2744366) Subject: RE: Gentleman is a man who... From: Snuffy A gentleman is someone who never gives offence ... unintentionally. |
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12 Oct 09 - 06:10 PM (#2744467) Subject: RE: Gentleman is a man who... From: Jim Carroll Climbs out of the bath to have a pee Jim Carroll |
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12 Oct 09 - 06:12 PM (#2744468) Subject: RE: Gentleman is a man who... From: Joe_F "I can see you're no gentleman." "Same to you, lady!" It is a vulgar error to suppose that a gentleman must be ready to fight. The utmost that can be demanded of him is that he be incapable of a lie. -- Emerson A socially respectable person who has no specific occupation or profession. -- OED, s.v. gentleman 4.c |
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12 Oct 09 - 06:15 PM (#2744470) Subject: RE: Gentleman is a man who... From: CarolC A gentleman is a man who knows ancient, worn out accordion jokes and doesn't tell them. |
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12 Oct 09 - 06:22 PM (#2744473) Subject: RE: Gentleman is a man who... From: Q (Frank Staplin) A gentleman is always willing to lend you money. |
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12 Oct 09 - 06:28 PM (#2744481) Subject: RE: Gentleman is a man who... From: Jos I'm sure I have seen written somewhere: 'Gentlemen lift the seat' though whether it was a statement or a command: 'Gentlemen, lift the seat' I am still unsure. |
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12 Oct 09 - 06:29 PM (#2744482) Subject: RE: Gentleman is a man who... From: Leadfingers Not so sure about what a Gentleman may be , but a Banjola is a Gentlemans banjo ! |
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12 Oct 09 - 10:42 PM (#2744613) Subject: RE: Gentleman is a man who... From: GUEST .... helps the lady back into her clothes.... Colyn. |
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13 Oct 09 - 02:27 AM (#2744680) Subject: RE: Gentleman is a man who... From: Dave Hanson Pulls her nighty down afterwards. Dave H |
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13 Oct 09 - 02:28 AM (#2744681) Subject: RE: Gentleman is a man who... From: Dave Hanson or lies in the damp patch occasionally. Dave H |
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13 Oct 09 - 03:17 AM (#2744690) Subject: RE: Gentleman is a man who... From: treewind Re original definition, also substitute bagpipes for accordion. |
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13 Oct 09 - 03:31 AM (#2744698) Subject: RE: Gentleman is a man who... From: GUEST,Green Wellies .......... let me go in front of him in the que at Morrisons last night. He had a full trolley and I just had a bottle of wine. |
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13 Oct 09 - 08:23 AM (#2744849) Subject: RE: Gentleman is a man who... From: GUEST,Granny In Wales I am reminded of a parody to the tune "Humouresque" which family members, sadly no longer with us, used to sing: Gentlemen must please refrain From making water on the train That's standing in the station for a while We encourage constipation While the train is in the station Cross your legs, and grit your teeth, and smile. If you must make water Please tell the Porter He will place a vessel in the corridor..... |
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13 Oct 09 - 12:38 PM (#2745032) Subject: RE: Gentleman is a man who... From: Mr Red a Gentleman is a Man who is Gentle. Keep it Simple Stupid. |
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13 Oct 09 - 02:02 PM (#2745113) Subject: RE: Gentleman is a man who... From: Murray MacLeod the definition in the opening post doesn't make a great deal of sense, as no "gentleman" would ever have learnt to play the accordion in the first place. the substitution of "bagpipes" (which is how I have always heard it)makes the aphorism both appropriate and witty. |
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13 Oct 09 - 02:20 PM (#2745128) Subject: RE: Gentleman is a man who... From: MGM·Lion This is a folk site, Murray. Do you really think a 'definition', any more than a song or a tale, will exist in only one version? If still in doubt, try googling 'gentleman+accordion' & see what you get. |
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14 Oct 09 - 01:14 PM (#2745695) Subject: RE: Gentleman is a man who... From: The Sandman a gentleman is a a man who is not a gentlewoman. |
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14 Oct 09 - 03:52 PM (#2745865) Subject: RE: Gentleman is a man who... From: Bill D Old Mutt & Jeff cartoon: Friend comes up to Little Jeff and says: "Jeff, here's that $10 I borrowed from you, I almost forgot....why didn't you ask me for it?" "Oh, I never ask a gentleman for money" "But what if he doesn't pay you?" "Oh, after awhile I assume he ISN'T a gentleman, and then I ask him." |
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14 Oct 09 - 06:25 PM (#2745992) Subject: RE: Gentleman is a man who... From: Don(Wyziwyg)T From the Shires:- "A gentleman (on two legs) never gives offence. On four legs, however, he always takes a fence. Don T. |
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14 Oct 09 - 07:15 PM (#2746048) Subject: RE: Gentleman is a man who... From: Mingulay As previously posted he gets out of the bath to go to the toilet, he also removes his hat before striking his wife! |
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14 Oct 09 - 07:40 PM (#2746067) Subject: RE: Gentleman is a man who... From: GUEST,TJ in San Diego Webster: A courteous, gracious man with a strong sense of honor or.... Mort Sahl: One who exhibits flaccid decorum at a nude beach... (The attribution may be specious) |
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14 Oct 09 - 08:02 PM (#2746082) Subject: RE: Gentleman is a man who... From: GUEST,Nick E My father told it to me as with an acordian, but then he was a lawyer...a corporate layer. S H U D D E R |
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15 Oct 09 - 02:49 AM (#2746250) Subject: RE: Gentleman is a man who... From: Seamus Kennedy A gentleman is someone who uses his butter knife even when dining alone. (Unknown, but it smacks of Oscar). Seamus |
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15 Oct 09 - 05:53 AM (#2746325) Subject: RE: Gentleman is a man who... From: Bryn Pugh A gentleman is one who, when his wife farts loudly, stands up and says "Pardon me !". |
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15 Oct 09 - 01:18 PM (#2746714) Subject: RE: Gentleman is a man who... From: Dead Horse Guest Nick E, a corporate layer! Obviously not a gent then. No. A gentleman is one who sees a daft thread on mudcat, and doesnt post to it. |
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15 Oct 09 - 01:19 PM (#2746715) Subject: RE: Gentleman is a man who... From: Dead Horse I rest my case. |
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15 Oct 09 - 01:20 PM (#2746717) Subject: RE: Gentleman is a man who... From: Dead Horse Twice! Oh blimey, thrice now. |
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15 Oct 09 - 03:54 PM (#2746844) Subject: RE: Gentleman is a man who... From: GUEST,Ebor_fiddler Sorry - that last was my error. I WAS going to say (see other thread) A gentleman is a man who is Tom McConville! |
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15 Oct 09 - 10:34 PM (#2747140) Subject: RE: Gentleman is a man who... From: Joe_F Seamus K.: I recoil from the thought of using the same knife to put jam on my muffin & to eat my omelet, but that doesn't make me a gentleman -- just a ruly type. |
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18 Oct 09 - 06:38 PM (#2747529) Subject: RE: Gentleman is a man who... From: Jos You eat an omelette with a knife? |
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18 Oct 09 - 06:52 PM (#2747537) Subject: RE: Gentleman is a man who... From: Don(Wyziwyg)T He must be a Brit, Jos. Americans eat everything except steak with a fork. EVEN SOUP! Don T. |
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18 Oct 09 - 07:08 PM (#2747551) Subject: RE: Gentleman is a man who... From: Jos I think this rhyme is probably by the popular poet, Anon. I eat my peas with honey. I have done all my life. It makes the peas taste funny But it keeps them on the knife. |
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18 Oct 09 - 07:56 PM (#2747589) Subject: RE: Gentleman is a man who... From: Steve Shaw "Climbs out of the bath to have a pee" (Jim Carroll) The first person I ever heard say that was Fred Trueman when I were a little lad. Now there was a true gent...not! (I'm a Lancashire lad, tha knows...) |