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29 Oct 09 - 04:56 AM (#2754657) Subject: BS: Silly Signs on Vehicles From: GREEN WELLIES This one has probably been done a million times, but it made me laugh this morning. At the traffic lights, on red, the E.ON landrover in fron of the with the sign saying 'If I stop - can you'. Well evidently I can, as we're both stationary at the traffice lights. So tempting to jump out of my car and bang on his door and say 'yes! I can stop, I'm right behind you'. And the other one I see day after day, on the backs of lorries 'hows my driving? call 0800 ***********'. Yes while I'm following you at 50mph along the M5 I'll just get out a pen and paper and write down the number and give you a call from my mobile ! Just who thinks these things up? |
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29 Oct 09 - 09:53 AM (#2754772) Subject: RE: BS: Silly Signs on Vehicles From: Rapparee Saw a sign on a septic tank cleaning truck: "We'll take all the crap you can dish out." |
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29 Oct 09 - 03:14 PM (#2755058) Subject: RE: BS: Silly Signs on Vehicles From: Don Firth If you don't like my driving, stay off the sidewalk! Seen in the Ballard district of Seattle: Norwegian driver. Thank you for not laughing. More later. Don Firth |
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29 Oct 09 - 05:19 PM (#2755167) Subject: RE: BS: Silly Signs on Vehicles From: Tangledwood Seen on a Jeep here last year - Keep your hands of my Willy. |
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29 Oct 09 - 06:02 PM (#2755204) Subject: RE: BS: Silly Signs on Vehicles From: Sandy Mc Lean Well there's this one: Honk If You Love Jesus |
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29 Oct 09 - 06:07 PM (#2755207) Subject: RE: BS: Silly Signs on Vehicles From: Georgiansilver I spotted a large articulated truck, when I pulled along behind it, had some letters scratched in the dust at the back and it read... R/SEND.... so I thought to myself... 'Why would anyone want to write R/SEND at the back of an artic... then the penny dropped.......... |
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29 Oct 09 - 10:06 PM (#2755386) Subject: RE: BS: Silly Signs on Vehicles From: Rapparee I always wondered why, in the Army, the first vehicle in a convoy of many vehicles, carried a sign that read "Convoy Follows" and never had one that read "Convoy Ends" or "Convoy Doesn't Follow". I never thought to ask, however. |
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30 Oct 09 - 02:01 AM (#2755446) Subject: RE: BS: Silly Signs on Vehicles From: Gurney I've considered getting the 'Eschew Obfuscation' bumper sticker, because it appeals to my pedantry. |
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30 Oct 09 - 03:57 AM (#2755458) Subject: RE: BS: Silly Signs on Vehicles From: akenaton I've got an extremely beat-up work truck. On the tailgate is a large sticker sent to me by an American friend. "If I lower my standards you'll be the first to know!!" |
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30 Oct 09 - 04:15 AM (#2755462) Subject: RE: BS: Silly Signs on Vehicles From: GUEST,Ralphie Maybe our antipodean writers can confirm this (maybe apocryphal...I hope not!) message on a white van in Oz. Danny Boy Plumbing. The pipes, the pipes are calling! |
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30 Oct 09 - 05:08 AM (#2755481) Subject: RE: BS: Silly Signs on Vehicles From: Tangledwood Sorry Ralphie, I can't find him in the phone book, but that doesn't preclude the possibility of a small business with only a mobile phone. If there isn't a plumber of that name there certainly should be! |
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30 Oct 09 - 05:26 AM (#2755489) Subject: RE: BS: Silly Signs on Vehicles From: GREEN WELLIES Just would like to add, the sticker in a friends extremely old and permanentaly mud covered Landrover - 'You can go fast....... I can go anywhere' |
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30 Oct 09 - 05:57 AM (#2755501) Subject: RE: BS: Silly Signs on Vehicles From: GUEST,Ralphie Thanks for that TW. While I'm on, I also heard that the Australian version of WD40 (an oil-based lubricant spray here in the UK, sometimes used for sorting out car ignitions) is called "Start Yer Bastard" down under?? Probably not, but should be! And how about an antipodean Chilli sauce named... "Smack my a***e and call me Sally" All info gratefully received! |
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30 Oct 09 - 12:57 PM (#2755782) Subject: RE: BS: Silly Signs on Vehicles From: SharonA I saw this bumper sticker day before yesterday: "It's your Hell -- you burn in it!" |
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30 Oct 09 - 12:58 PM (#2755783) Subject: RE: BS: Silly Signs on Vehicles From: kendall In Yorkshire I saw a lorrie with a sign that said, "If it has wheels and tits you will have trouble with it." |
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30 Oct 09 - 01:25 PM (#2755811) Subject: RE: BS: Silly Signs on Vehicles From: folk1e "Scouts do it with 3 fingers" .... it did have a graphic of the Scout salute! |
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30 Oct 09 - 04:21 PM (#2756001) Subject: RE: BS: Silly Signs on Vehicles From: GUEST,Helen, cookieless A lot of hoon cars in Oz have a sticker: "Dilligaf", which always makes me want to find a marker pen and write "Yes!" next to it. Dilligaf = do I look like a give a f@#$ Another sign I have seen on hoon cars is: "Cover me with honey and throw me to the lesbians". That one makes me want to grab the marker and write: "So they can tie you to an ants' nest". And Ralphie, about the Danny Boy joke - it's more than likely that somewhere in Oz someone has that written on their plumber's ute. Helen |
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30 Oct 09 - 05:09 PM (#2756048) Subject: RE: BS: Silly Signs on Vehicles From: Dead Horse While being extremely bored and in possesion of a large lump of chalk, I, as a driver in a convoy of British Army vehicles carrying Medium Girder Bridge (the armys version of a meccano set) decided to give my truck white wall tyres. I also added "HM Queen & Sons" to the side, and "Stop Me And Build One" to the rear. The Royal Engineer officer to whom we delivered the load was not best pleased! My lads loved it :-) |
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30 Oct 09 - 07:49 PM (#2756204) Subject: RE: BS: Silly Signs on Vehicles From: Tootler I bet your officer had a good chuckle over it in the mess! |
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30 Oct 09 - 07:52 PM (#2756208) Subject: RE: BS: Silly Signs on Vehicles From: Tootler Have you noticed that signs like "Baby on Board" or "Princess on Board" seem to give the vehicle's owner the right to drive as if they are hell bent on killing their little darling |
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30 Oct 09 - 08:05 PM (#2756220) Subject: RE: BS: Silly Signs on Vehicles From: McGrath of Harlow 'hows my driving? call 0800 ***********'. If you phoned the number you wouldn't get the man in the van, you'd get an answerphone in the office where you could leave a message commenting on the driving, and giving time and date of something the driver has done that deserves comment. In fact it is not a silly sign, it's a way of giving drivers a warning that if they cut up other road users and put the firm's vehicles at risk, there may be nasty consequences for them later. |
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30 Oct 09 - 11:22 PM (#2756338) Subject: RE: BS: Silly Signs on Vehicles From: meself Then there's the one I saw on the back of a truck - I've quoted this on another thread: "If you don't like my driving, call 1-800-EAT-SHIT". |
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30 Oct 09 - 11:32 PM (#2756340) Subject: RE: BS: Silly Signs on Vehicles From: Big Mick Still my all time favorite bumper sticker. All the best, Mick |
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31 Oct 09 - 09:07 AM (#2756528) Subject: RE: BS: Silly Signs on Vehicles From: Edthefolkie Seen on the back of a local tour bus on the Ring of Kerry, west of Ireland: No.1 To Be Sure, To Be Sure - Paddywagon Tours It even had a picture of a leprechaun and a shamrock. Irony bypass alert? |
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31 Oct 09 - 09:16 AM (#2756532) Subject: RE: BS: Silly Signs on Vehicles From: melodeonboy Years ago, when I was living in upstate New York, I often used to see the lorries of a local food producer drive around with the motto "Our wursts are the best!" written on the side. NB: Wurst (the German word for "sausage") is commonly used for the same in New York State (and possibly in other parts of the USA!) |
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31 Oct 09 - 09:24 AM (#2756535) Subject: RE: BS: Silly Signs on Vehicles From: Spleen Cringe Saw a great one on a car in Oz: "I brake for hallucinations"... |
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31 Oct 09 - 09:41 AM (#2756544) Subject: RE: BS: Silly Signs on Vehicles From: VirginiaTam All those I (heart) my German Shepherd, Collie, Chihuahua, Poodle, Sheep Dog, Dachshund, insert you fav canine. Someone with a twisted sense of humour, covering the heart with graphic of a screw printed on sticky label. I always wanted one (on the front of the car) that says Thou shalt alternate merge. |
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31 Oct 09 - 12:26 PM (#2756682) Subject: RE: BS: Silly Signs on Vehicles From: EBarnacle Just for the Hell of it a lot of years ago, I dialed 1 800 EAT SHIT and someone had slipped. It was a real number at the time. It has since been changed. A couple of weeks ago, Lady Hillary and I met another Ham, whose license plate and call letters were W2RUM. Think about it. By the way, his favorite rum is Gosling's Black Seal. |
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31 Oct 09 - 03:15 PM (#2756844) Subject: RE: BS: Silly Signs on Vehicles From: meself "Just for the Hell of it" is not a sufficient explanation, in this instance .... |
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31 Oct 09 - 03:25 PM (#2756850) Subject: RE: BS: Silly Signs on Vehicles From: GUEST,melinda After seeing countless "I (heart) my dog/cat/hamster/brontosaurus" bumper stickers, I was amused to see "I (spade) my dog." Now I want one that says "I (club) Baby Seals" |
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31 Oct 09 - 05:44 PM (#2756961) Subject: RE: BS: Silly Signs on Vehicles From: gnu Anyone mention "This vehicle makes wide turns."? I mean, if it isn't obvious, perhaps another sanity test is in order? |
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01 Nov 09 - 12:29 PM (#2757322) Subject: RE: BS: Silly Signs on Vehicles From: GUEST,PeterC I mean, if it isn't obvious, perhaps another sanity test is in order? It isn't, I have seen two vehicles make emergency stops this weekend while trying to pass turning artics. Best sticker I ever saw was "Its a lovely day, some bastard's bound to spoil it". The car was on the back of a police tow truck at the time. |
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01 Nov 09 - 12:43 PM (#2757334) Subject: RE: BS: Silly Signs on Vehicles From: Janie "Squirrels...nature's little speed bumps." |
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01 Nov 09 - 12:56 PM (#2757346) Subject: RE: BS: Silly Signs on Vehicles From: GUEST,jts I was in North Augusta, SC the other day. I saw a bumper sticker. "Do you follow Jesus this closely." A fine sentiment whether meant ironically or sincerely, I am sure. But I was sorely tempted to approach the driver, as he filled his tank and say the following.... "Why yes I DO!!! Sir!!" "I am the paint on the Lord's bumper!!!" There was something else I thought about saying, about being so far up as to be able to say what he had for breakfast, but discretion prevailed and I kept my own smart ass council. |
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01 Nov 09 - 10:31 PM (#2757666) Subject: RE: BS: Silly Signs on Vehicles From: EBarnacle Sorry, meself, but curiousity is always enough motivation to do something harmless. |
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02 Nov 09 - 03:49 AM (#2757733) Subject: RE: BS: Silly Signs on Vehicles From: GREEN WELLIES Thanks McGrath, but I still dont see how you are supposed to make a note of the 0800 'how's my driving' number, when the said driver has just cut you up on the M5 at 50mph as much as I would like to let his employers know. Thats what makes it a silly sign. In the back of my mom's car (I'd forgotten about this one) 'I brake for no particular reason'......I think its something to do with Terry Wogan. Moms 86 and still driving, infact she's off to Australia today - not driving, flying. |
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02 Nov 09 - 04:03 AM (#2757739) Subject: RE: BS: Silly Signs on Vehicles From: CarolC I've used those 800 "how's my driving" numbers before. At least once when I was alone, and once while I was a passenger. Both times I was able to write the number down. One of the times, I didn't have a cell phone, and I brought the number home with me and called from there. They just need the road you're on and approximate location, the time when the incident happened, and the license plate or truck number if possible. |
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02 Nov 09 - 06:06 AM (#2757797) Subject: RE: BS: Silly Signs on Vehicles From: Ed T Don't cry girls, I'll be back |
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03 Nov 09 - 04:34 AM (#2758494) Subject: RE: BS: Silly Signs on Vehicles From: Fred McCormick My all time favourite? "So Many Women. So Little Time." |
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04 Nov 09 - 02:23 AM (#2759162) Subject: RE: BS: Silly Signs on Vehicles From: Liz the Squeak Seen on the back of a removal van this week - Absolute Removals Surprisingly Efficient. I nearly choked!! But my all time favourite - and ladies of a certain disposition will appreciate this one - on the back of a bakers van; 'No cake left in this vehicle overnight' LTS |
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04 Nov 09 - 12:38 PM (#2759485) Subject: RE: BS: Silly Signs on Vehicles From: Dick The Box One for anyone who has been to Burton-on-Trent "You'll honk if you love Marmite" |
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05 Nov 09 - 01:00 PM (#2760230) Subject: RE: BS: Silly Signs on Vehicles From: open mike I just heard the song "I was just flipped off by a silver haired old lady with a honk if you love jesus sticker on the bumper of her car" by the Trailer Park Troubadours http://www.unhitched.com/ i thought it belonged in the bumper sticker thread... |
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06 Nov 09 - 12:42 PM (#2760947) Subject: RE: BS: Silly Signs on Vehicles From: Steve Shaw Apropos of the "Eat shit" number, I once saw this on a sticker: "Driven badly? Go to www.gofuckyourself.co.uk" |
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06 Nov 09 - 12:44 PM (#2760949) Subject: RE: BS: Silly Signs on Vehicles From: Steve Shaw I just remembered - written with a finger in the dirt on the back of a white van in Bristol, "I wish my wife was this dirty!" |
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06 Nov 09 - 06:20 PM (#2761179) Subject: RE: BS: Silly Signs on Vehicles From: Don(Wyziwyg)T Sign on a van seen in South London:- "Southeastern Pool and Pond Maintenance" Totally innocuous, until they pulled up and opened the sliding side door, leaving:- "Southeastern Poo Maintenance" Brightened up a bad day. Don T |
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07 Nov 09 - 04:26 AM (#2761353) Subject: RE: BS: Silly Signs on Vehicles From: Will Fly Local scaffolding firm in Sussex - the sticker on their lorry said: "The best erections in town". |
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08 Nov 09 - 04:30 AM (#2761955) Subject: RE: BS: Silly Signs on Vehicles From: GUEST,Paul I once saw a sign where someone had combined the "if driven at night, vehicle has been stolen" and "well driven" signs - it just said "if well driven, vehicle has been stolen". Not on a vehicle but I once saw some great graffiti on a road sign. There was a temporary warning sign that said "Cats eyes removed" and someone had added "£20 per cat" |
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08 Nov 09 - 11:29 AM (#2762126) Subject: RE: BS: Silly Signs on Vehicles From: Dave MacKenzie Personal number plates are all the rage for aggressive drivers |
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08 Nov 09 - 11:55 AM (#2762142) Subject: RE: BS: Silly Signs on Vehicles From: meself "Those displaying many stickers were 16 per cent more likely to succumb to road-induced anger" Seems like a pretty meaningless statistic, to me. |
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08 Nov 09 - 07:30 PM (#2762414) Subject: RE: BS: Silly Signs on Vehicles From: Ed T Senior on board I brake, hard, for restrooms. |
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08 Nov 09 - 08:39 PM (#2762454) Subject: RE: BS: Silly Signs on Vehicles From: GUEST I know of some American girls traveling in England who were made very nervous by the sight of a movers' van with the company name on it: "Beaver Removals." (Another variance between US and English English) Peter |
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09 Nov 09 - 06:30 AM (#2762616) Subject: RE: BS: Silly Signs on Vehicles From: Dave MacKenzie I think I saw a beaver plumbing too. |
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09 Nov 09 - 12:08 PM (#2762840) Subject: RE: BS: Silly Signs on Vehicles From: GUEST,jts I think most American women would rather have their beavers "plumbed" than "removed." |
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09 Nov 09 - 01:06 PM (#2762877) Subject: RE: BS: Silly Signs on Vehicles From: Bill D I think most American women would rather have fewer cutesy euphemisms. |
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10 Nov 09 - 01:00 PM (#2763559) Subject: RE: BS: Silly Signs on Vehicles From: Pete Jennings Written on a dirty van (forget where): www.cleanme.com Pete |