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03 Dec 09 - 11:26 AM (#2779605) Subject: BS: For my friend Spaw From: olddude This one is for my dear friend Spaw. A true story that happened last night. I came home late from Wisconsin via Chicago to Buffalo. Well in Chicago I was hungry so I thought wow a Mexican Restaurant wow, wow. Now people like myself that have Chrons disease pretty much know what we can and can not eat. However, at times, my carnal desires win out over my common sense. On the flight back to Buffalo, I was sure that death awaited me upon landing. Once I was off the plane I did my best interpretation of a marathon running and headed for the nearest mens room. As I entered the stall a larger rapper type man entered the one next to me about the same time. I knew right away that things were not going to go well for him. suddenly I hear this voice "Whoa Man, Whoa, that is soooo wrong dog" "You are killing me I can't breathe" I answered, "you think it is bad there, I am a lot closer than you are" "Whoa that is just wrong dog, that is just plain wrong" I could only answer "Gosh that burrito was spicy - sorry" The best part is I skated out of there before he did. I am sure other people thought it was him |
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03 Dec 09 - 12:32 PM (#2779697) Subject: RE: BS: For my friend Spaw From: catspaw49 LMAO........uh, yeah......................What makes this so great is that almost anyone can relate to being on both ends (so to speak) of one of those moments. My worst? Between flights at O'Hare.....This was when there was still an Eastern Airlines and when they had their "Ionosphere Clubs" like so many other carriers. Great places for business travellers to hang out between flights. Just prior to my flight, I'm finishing in one stall when someone goes into the next and within just a few seconds starts in with, "Aw geeziz....damn....geeziz.....". I jumped in with, "Yeah, I know.....Smells bad.......I'm sorry man." The guy says, "Huh? Aw no.....geeziz......I just shit myself." Having no idea what to say to that, I damn near flew out of there before I learned any more which I didn't need to know! On my way out I went to the desk and told the doorman, "You may have a problem in the Men's Room." ..........and I left immediately! Spaw |
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03 Dec 09 - 12:36 PM (#2779702) Subject: RE: BS: For my friend Spaw From: Lizzie Cornish 1 That's so funny, guys! I'm laughing out loud over here! :0) |
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03 Dec 09 - 12:37 PM (#2779703) Subject: RE: BS: For my friend Spaw From: John MacKenzie Harpy ain't gonna like this thread! |
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03 Dec 09 - 12:44 PM (#2779711) Subject: RE: BS: For my friend Spaw From: SINSULL I will have to resurrect my nephew Chris' adventure at Borders Book Store. Old Dude - warn me if you come to Maine. I will insist on Bland Food Night or a PortaPotty. |
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03 Dec 09 - 12:49 PM (#2779719) Subject: RE: BS: For my friend Spaw From: VirginiaTam Oh thank you, thank you. Laughing so hard I got eyeball juice squeezing outta my eyes. Sorry to make light of your distress Dan, but hey you shared it. |
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03 Dec 09 - 12:59 PM (#2779728) Subject: RE: BS: For my friend Spaw From: olddude I been laughing since I came home ... stuff happens to me and I still don't know what I was thinking - visting Chili's at O'Hare airport. I know better... LOL Spaw, got me laughin so hard I can't breathe now |
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03 Dec 09 - 01:26 PM (#2779768) Subject: RE: BS: For my friend Spaw From: jacqui.c That's it - neither of you is allowed in the cellar now! I think that a dog kennel out back is the only place you two are safe! |
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03 Dec 09 - 01:50 PM (#2779797) Subject: RE: BS: For my friend Spaw From: gnu Soooo, Dan.... you are really a cRAPPER at heart? |
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03 Dec 09 - 02:11 PM (#2779823) Subject: RE: BS: For my friend Spaw From: Little Hawk If only my Dachshund could write! What tales he would tell. He knows more about this sort of thing than you can possibly imagine. |
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03 Dec 09 - 02:20 PM (#2779835) Subject: RE: BS: For my friend Spaw From: gnu What are you feeding the poor dog, LH? |
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03 Dec 09 - 02:35 PM (#2779850) Subject: RE: BS: For my friend Spaw From: Little Hawk No, I mean he does know shit! |
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03 Dec 09 - 03:06 PM (#2779872) Subject: RE: BS: For my friend Spaw From: Rapparee Funny, the dachshunds I know also know shinola. |
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03 Dec 09 - 03:11 PM (#2779877) Subject: RE: BS: For my friend Spaw From: olddude Note to grade school teacher ! I will eat no more mexican food, I will eat no more mexican food,I will eat no more mexican food, I will eat no more mexican food,I will eat no more mexican food, I will eat no more mexican food,I will eat no more mexican food, I will eat no more mexican food,I will eat no more mexican food, I will eat no more mexican food,I will eat no more mexican food, I will eat no more mexican food,I will eat no more mexican food, I will eat no more mexican food,I will eat no more mexican food, I will eat no more mexican food !! |
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03 Dec 09 - 04:41 PM (#2779950) Subject: RE: BS: For my friend Spaw From: olddude HEY SPAW! Do you realize Jacqui threw us out of the cellar!! we are not even allow in the house! ... holy cow, that is a new record. Next we will get thrown out of the dog house ... a new record set here folks ... wow! |
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03 Dec 09 - 05:20 PM (#2779977) Subject: RE: BS: For my friend Spaw From: Amergin My dog would never throw you out of the dog house...she would welcome you...until she realised there were no goodies forthcoming.... |
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03 Dec 09 - 05:29 PM (#2779982) Subject: RE: BS: For my friend Spaw From: Donuel My favorite Spaw classic was the one where a guy wakes up with the grand daddy of all eureka moments with such profound implications that all the scientists in history would be awed by his motivation and discovery. |
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03 Dec 09 - 07:10 PM (#2780061) Subject: RE: BS: For my friend Spaw From: Bill D I'm not sure I should laugh, or just look smug...because I can eat all the Mexican food I want, with few problems. I can sympathize, but maybe not empathize. |
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03 Dec 09 - 07:14 PM (#2780069) Subject: RE: BS: For my friend Spaw From: GUEST,hg correct mackenzie |
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03 Dec 09 - 07:22 PM (#2780078) Subject: RE: BS: For my friend Spaw From: Bill D ...and so it goes.. (for maybe 10 years now?) gee, harpy... I almost have forgotten what you DO approve of. Kinda sad. |
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03 Dec 09 - 07:27 PM (#2780084) Subject: RE: BS: For my friend Spaw From: GUEST,hg gee bill, I've almost forgotten how "holier than thou" you've always been. kinda sad.... |
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03 Dec 09 - 07:32 PM (#2780088) Subject: RE: BS: For my friend Spaw From: jacqui.c Harpy ain't gonna like this thread! Do we care? Those that don't like it don't have to come in more than once. |
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03 Dec 09 - 07:40 PM (#2780099) Subject: RE: BS: For my friend Spaw From: GUEST,hg at least my muck is lime jello... |
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03 Dec 09 - 07:44 PM (#2780100) Subject: RE: BS: For my friend Spaw From: Jeri Sins, either get a porta-potty or forgo the usual candle in the can. The former is probably the better choice, because there's still the wallpaper to consider. |
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03 Dec 09 - 07:48 PM (#2780104) Subject: RE: BS: For my friend Spaw From: Bill D "....how "holier than thou" you've always been." pooh!... since I can't send PMs to 'guests', I'll say no more. |
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03 Dec 09 - 07:57 PM (#2780107) Subject: RE: BS: For my friend Spaw From: GUEST,hg "I'm not sure I should laugh, or just look smug...because I can eat all the Mexican food I want, with few problems. I can sympathize, but maybe not empathize." proof that he thinks his s**t doesn't stink....lol |
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03 Dec 09 - 07:57 PM (#2780108) Subject: RE: BS: For my friend Spaw From: Jeri Interesting (maybe) but irrelevant (mostly): if cabin air pressure is about a third of what it is on the ground, personal compressed gas is a much higher volume on the air. Pilots and crew eat mostly non-gas producing foods before a flight. Think of what could have happened if you'd let loose while up there, and I don't think the results would have been evident on the 'black box'... or would it be the 'brown box'? Anyway, an operational sphincter is a good thing. |
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03 Dec 09 - 08:00 PM (#2780113) Subject: RE: BS: For my friend Spaw From: Little Hawk Spicy food doesn't bother me a bit, either. You and I should join the holier-than-thou club, Bill. ;-) |
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03 Dec 09 - 08:16 PM (#2780122) Subject: RE: BS: For my friend Spaw From: olddude It was one of those tiny little regional jets, that would have been a complete disaster LOL |
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03 Dec 09 - 08:23 PM (#2780131) Subject: RE: BS: For my friend Spaw From: Jeri Actually, the smaller planes fly lower, so they don't have to pressurize as much. I got all this from a pilot. I asked him because I have one eustachian tube that gets blocked on planes with some regularity. So the ambient pressure on a small plane is higher, but you'd also cause a lot more damage if you, uh, decompressed. |
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03 Dec 09 - 09:40 PM (#2780165) Subject: RE: BS: For my friend Spaw From: Bobert Gotta an ol' blues buddy who just flew in from Buffalo... He was tellin' me the same story??? Hmmmmmm??? This guy weren't, ahhhhh, black, 'round 6'2, 230 and in his 50s was he, Oldster??? If so, he wants to know where you live... He's got somethin' fir ya, buddy... B~ |
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03 Dec 09 - 09:41 PM (#2780166) Subject: RE: BS: For my friend Spaw From: olddude LOL Bobert, tell him my name is Kendall but some call me Captain ok there buddie ? :-) |
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03 Dec 09 - 10:16 PM (#2780174) Subject: RE: BS: For my friend Spaw From: Rapparee That's odd, Bobert, because I just saw my old buddy Larry Craig who told me that because of an "incident" in an airport men's room he's sworn off flying completely. |
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03 Dec 09 - 10:21 PM (#2780176) Subject: RE: BS: For my friend Spaw From: Amos Major misdirection going down there, amigos!! Heads up for a Condition Red Alert. A |
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03 Dec 09 - 10:42 PM (#2780194) Subject: RE: BS: For my friend Spaw From: olddude LOL Now if I were a redneck I could say "blame the Mexicans" like we hear so often for other things ... |
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04 Dec 09 - 04:53 AM (#2780307) Subject: RE: BS: For my friend Spaw From: John MacKenzie Dan's next song will be a TexMex classic. |
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04 Dec 09 - 08:31 AM (#2780431) Subject: RE: BS: For my friend Spaw From: jacqui.c DAN! DOGHOUSE!!!!!!! |
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04 Dec 09 - 08:55 AM (#2780454) Subject: RE: BS: For my friend Spaw From: SINSULL My brother and his wife drove up from NYC this summer for a visit. They stopped at a rest area. A woman waddling oddly pushed past them in a hurry to reach the Ladies Room - alas, too late. Her white slacks told the tale. A relative of yours, Dan? |
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04 Dec 09 - 09:19 AM (#2780469) Subject: RE: BS: For my friend Spaw From: olddude Sins, that was my sister LOL I am impressed with this thread, Spaw and I are the only ones who ever got thrown out of the Cellar ... We have hit an all time low. John, good idea for a song my dear friend, hey send me a myspace request again if you have time. I had to rebuild due to some tecky problems and had to try and get my friends list back and lost ya ... |
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04 Dec 09 - 11:17 AM (#2780550) Subject: RE: BS: For my friend Spaw From: VirginiaTam The holier than thou all you can eat mexican annexe |
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04 Dec 09 - 05:50 PM (#2780886) Subject: RE: BS: For my friend Spaw From: DougR I read and read again olddude's post, and for the life of me, I cannot find one funny thing about it. Some of you folks have a very far out sense of humor. DougR |
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04 Dec 09 - 06:00 PM (#2780898) Subject: RE: BS: For my friend Spaw From: ranger1 Dan, you owe me a new keyboard and monitor. I should know better than to take a swig of anything before I open a thread here... |
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04 Dec 09 - 06:10 PM (#2780908) Subject: RE: BS: For my friend Spaw From: Bill D It's just the word 'funny', Doug.... it is used to mean too many things. Some events are so strange that even laughing doesn't cover them. We used to say "Funny ha-ha? Or funny weird?" Sometimes the story is funny, whereas the incident was only strange. What do you laugh at in Texas?....Obama jokes? |
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04 Dec 09 - 08:06 PM (#2780995) Subject: RE: BS: For my friend Spaw From: olddude Yea Doug we are a strange bunch LOL ... That is why Spaw and I got thrown out of the Cellar to the doghouse. Ranger1 sorry my friend, I will send ya one LOL |
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05 Dec 09 - 02:21 AM (#2781109) Subject: RE: BS: For my friend Spaw From: Liz the Squeak All I'm saying is long church pews and beans for dinner. LTS |
