|
30 Aug 10 - 01:23 PM (#2976001) Subject: SONG CHALLENGE! 2.0 - Fit 4 From: mousethief Song Challenge! 2.0 - Fit 4 Wind up your pencils, Challengees! Other than love and marriage, what two things are more natural (kof) together than sex and politics? Here's a perky little story for you to enlarge upon: Venezuela politician raffles breast implants for campaign CARACAS, Venezuela — A Venezuelan politician is holding an unusual raffle to raise campaign cash. The grand prize: breast implants. For a little under $6 a ticket, donors get the chance to win the pricey operation free of charge. Okay, Challengees! Let's see what you've got! (figuratively speaking) |
|
30 Aug 10 - 05:34 PM (#2976228) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! 2.0 - Fit 4 From: Georgiansilver In Old Venezuela, the men are about to get quite hot under their collars. The reason I'll tell is a simple one and involves the small cost of six dollars. Some politician called Gustav Rojas, Came up with a clever idea. To raise loads of money for campaign funds, (Probably after a beer) (... or two) He's selling off tickets, a raffle we hear, Six dollars would present no tests. The winner ( a woman naturally) Will end up with much bigger breasts. |
|
30 Aug 10 - 06:33 PM (#2976263) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! 2.0 - Fit 4 From: Amos You can be busted Beautifully busted! You can be busted If you are lucky or no! If you're a winner, Be shaped like a sinner, Or you can be busted From spending your dough. No need to worry, Scrape up your money, Step up and hurry Let me be blunt! If you're audacious We'll make you curvaceous, You can be generous For being up front! You can be busted Beautifully busted! You can be busted If you are lucky or no! If you're a winner, Be shaped like a sinner, Or you can be busted From spending your dough. Think of the motion, The social commotion, That you will cause If you happen to win! Girls, I'm not foolin' You'll have them drooling, Surely six dollars Is not such a sin? You can be busted Beautifully busted! You can be busted If you are lucky or no! If you're a winner, Be shaped like a sinner, Or you can be busted From spending your dough. You've seen the magic, Mystique and tragic When you flash your curves At most anyone male. Expand the entrancement With our free enhancement! For only six dollars, ladies, How can you fail? You can be busted Beautifully busted! You can be busted If you are lucky or no! If you're a winner, Be shaped like a sinner, Or you can be busted From spending your dough. |
|
30 Aug 10 - 10:45 PM (#2976406) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! 2.0 - Fit 4 From: mousethief Excellent, the thread is taking a great curve --erm, trajectory-- right from the start! A Silver BLOB to Georgiansilver for the hopeful: The winner ( a woman naturally) Will end up with much bigger breasts. and another Silver BLOB to Amos for the eloquent: Expand the entrancement With our free enhancement! Way to go, Challengees! Hopefully we will see all our regulars, and some new faces too, extolling the beauties of the mammoraffle. |
|
31 Aug 10 - 07:29 AM (#2976559) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! 2.0 - Fit 4 From: GUEST,Ceto Matilda, Matilda, Matilda, she take six dollars and run Venezuela. Well, she thought her bosom need' a fix, which made her run for politics. Politics is just a raffle, lads, 'bout money, sex and false air pads. Well, Gustavo's platform surely hits: the lucky ones shall have big t...reats! Well, the raffle's not decid'd by luck, Gus chooses whom he wants to favor. Well, Matilda's ticket sure was drawn, but then Gustavo just would yawn. Well, the surgeons down in Caracas they'll stuff your breast and kick your purse. Well, Matilda was just skin and bone, now she's still that plus silicone. Well, Matilda I don't like no more, she looks just like a sidewalk horoscope maker. |
|
31 Aug 10 - 04:41 PM (#2976949) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! 2.0 - Fit 4 From: mousethief A delighted Silver BLOB to newcomer Ceto for this timely warning: Well, Matilda was just skin and bone, now she's still that plus silicone. Welcome to the Challenge! Hope to see a lot more from you in the future! |
|
31 Aug 10 - 05:41 PM (#2976994) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! 2.0 - Fit 4 From: Young Buchan Sounds fine in the short term, but in a few years the winner will be singing: Where are my tits, my noggin',noggin' tits? All gone for beer and tobacco. For the nipples are worn out, the aureolae knocked about, And the rest is hanging out for better weather. |
|
31 Aug 10 - 09:53 PM (#2977171) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! 2.0 - Fit 4 From: mousethief A sardonic Silver BLOB to Young Buchan for the wry: And the rest is hanging out for better weather |
|
01 Sep 10 - 07:01 PM (#2977980) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! 2.0 - Fit 4 From: McGrath of Harlow I bought a ticket in the lottery, I was sure I wouldn't win But I thought that just this one time My good luck might be in. And I won, yes I won My time had come at last. As I walked up to receive my prize, My heart was beating fast. And the man in the office said, "I know you've won the prize But son, I think if I were you I'd seriously think twice" But I said "No", I said "No, It's a special day for me No matter what I stand to win, It's my precious victory." And they took me to a private room, And laid me on a bed And I closed my eyes and dreamed a while And I woke, and someone said "Now it's best you get dressed, Maybe we've overdone the size" And I looked there in the mirror, I could hardly believe my eyes. So I walk around so nonchalant, As if I didn't care And all the ladies giggle While all the fellows stare And my back's about to crack, And this sweater's far too tight And I don't know which is bigger, The left one or the right. And the moral of this story, Don't do what I have done, And always read the small print When you're putting money on As for me, here's my plea, Won't you please avert your eyes, From this poor bloke in the corner Who once won the booby prize. |
|
01 Sep 10 - 07:11 PM (#2977992) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! 2.0 - Fit 4 From: Matthew Edwards Brilliant stuff all round! Are the audience allowed to award BLOBS too? |
|
01 Sep 10 - 07:38 PM (#2978029) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! 2.0 - Fit 4 From: mousethief Traditionally the only time the Challengees/audience award BLOBs or Golden Cow Chips is to the judges should the judges write a song for the Challenge! (since it would be unseemly for the judges to award themself a BLOB/Cow Chip). However, you could make up your own award(s) and give it/them out as you like! |
|
01 Sep 10 - 08:23 PM (#2978080) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! 2.0 - Fit 4 From: McGrath of Harlow A tune for that one? "Ghostriders in the Sky" more or less fits. |
|
01 Sep 10 - 08:40 PM (#2978090) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! 2.0 - Fit 4 From: Amos McGrath: That's a wonderful twist, and beautifully executed too!! A |
|
01 Sep 10 - 08:50 PM (#2978099) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! 2.0 - Fit 4 From: mousethief A yippe-ki-ay Silver BLOB to McGrath for the cautionary: Won't you please avert your eyes, From this poor bloke in the corner Who once won the booby prize. |
|
02 Sep 10 - 12:26 PM (#2978533) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! 2.0 - Fit 4 From: GUEST,Jane Well listen up you lassies Come listen to my ditty All about a fair young maiden In a spanish speaking city She wanted not for golden locks Nor skin as white as snow Her sheep were of the finest flocks As far as sheep did go But the one thing she was lacking Well, better make that two - Was a buxom, bouncing bosom For to make the laddies woo The girl was flatter even Than her griddle for her cake And not a lad would look at her No passes would they make So she took her last six dollars And she tried out for the prize And if she won the lotto No boys would look her in the eyes! |
|
02 Sep 10 - 12:38 PM (#2978547) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! 2.0 - Fit 4 From: Amos LOL!!!! A |
|
02 Sep 10 - 07:44 PM (#2978891) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! 2.0 - Fit 4 From: GUEST,Jane McGrath of Harlow....! Soooooo funny! |
|
02 Sep 10 - 08:17 PM (#2978910) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! 2.0 - Fit 4 From: Matthew Edwards @ mousethief - You'll have to be careful about saying what's "traditional" in Song Challenges, or we'll get all those arguefiers jumping aboard to tell us what we can and can't sing! :-) Anyway if I can't award silver BLOBS, I reckon McGrath and Jane have definitely earned silver BOOBS for their efforts. And a Grand Golden Double Espresso, or whatever it is you drink over there, to mousethief for reviving the Challenges. Matthew |
|
02 Sep 10 - 11:46 PM (#2978991) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! 2.0 - Fit 4 From: mousethief Jane! A Silver BLOB for the sad but true (and funny) payoff line: And if she won the lotto No boys would look her in the eyes! @Matthew: lol! Sorry, touchy word, isn't it! How about "customary"? And thank you for the Double Espresso. That's one of the many coffee-based money extractors here in Lattéland. |
|
03 Sep 10 - 01:14 PM (#2979355) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! 2.0 - Fit 4 From: MMario (I keep thinking perhaps a parody of Oklahoma) VEN -ez- way-lah where the breasts are auctioned by Rojas Where the waving tits are changed to fit The winners choice of size of BRA. |
|
03 Sep 10 - 02:56 PM (#2979428) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! 2.0 - Fit 4 From: Amos She entered on a Monday in Caracas town, She won won won yeah she won won won SHe felt her superstructure was a-lettin' her down, She won won won yeah she won won won, Yes, Caracas town, Yes, they let her down, Oh, and her hopes were high, She won won won yeah she won won won Well the judges told her she was it, oh yes they did! She won won won yeah she won won won And she got so excited that she flipped her lid! She won won won yeah she won won won Yeah, she won, she did! Yes, she flipped her lid! Oh, and her hopes were high She won won won yeah she won won won Well I saw her three days later and she looked so fine She won won won yeah she won won won And that's when I decided I would make her mine! She won won won yeah she won won won Yes, she looked so fine! Yes,I'm gonna make her mine! Oh, and her hopes were high She won won won yeah she won won won! She came back home a-sporting brand-new thirty-eights She won won won yeah she won won won I knew there wasn't any time to hesitate! She won won won yeah she won won won Oooh, she had thirty-eights! Oooh! I didn't hesitate! Ooo, and her hopes were high, She won won won yeah she won won won She won won won yeah she won won won She won won won yeah she won won won She won won won yeah she won won won |
|
03 Sep 10 - 05:51 PM (#2979526) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! 2.0 - Fit 4 From: MMario Amos, you are *so* warped. |
|
03 Sep 10 - 11:51 PM (#2979669) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! 2.0 - Fit 4 From: mousethief Wonderful! A lighthearted Silver BLOB to MMario for the indisputable: Where the waving tits are changed to fit The winners choice of size of BRA. And a nostalgic Silver BLOB to Amos for the delightfully twisted: She felt her superstructure was a-lettin' her down Let the good times bounce! |
|
05 Sep 10 - 12:29 AM (#2980203) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! 2.0 - Fit 4 From: mousethief bump |
|
05 Sep 10 - 05:57 AM (#2980290) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! 2.0 - Fit 4 From: Matthew Edwards This story gives a new twist to the phrase "elective surgery"; I wouldn't have thought politicians needed much help to make bigger boobs. I wanted to try to write a song in imitation of Venezuela by John Jacob Niles, but I thought how on earth can I parody a song which itself is a sort of pastiche? In the end I realised I'll never get another chance to pair up vuvuzela and Venezuela so here goes. Elections in Venezuela She was blowing a vuvuzela, And wore a badge upon her chest; She supported Rojas to win the fight, And do whatever he thought was right, To win an election in Venezuela, To win an election in Venezuela. She bought a beautiful ticket, a ticket of blue, A beautiful ticket so blue; To raise funds for her candidate And to maximise her mammorial state, To win an election in Venezuela, To win an election in Venezuela. And when the electoral raffle, the raffle was drawn, The raffle it was drawn, She won the prize, to her surprise, And her bust it grew, it grew in size, And she blew a tune on her vuvuzela, She blew a tune on her vuvuzela. Gustavo Rojas, alas, didn't win the day, His election flopped, his support just drifted away; But as she walked off with her new DD She said "Cheer up, there'll always be Another election in Venezuela, Another election in Venezuela." Matthew Edwards Regarding JJ Niles's counter-tenor voice John Jacob Niles Claimed to sing in high-mountain styles; But people still think that It sounds like more the yelps of a neutered tomcat. |
|
05 Sep 10 - 09:56 AM (#2980357) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! 2.0 - Fit 4 From: Amos LOL, Matthew!! Nicely done! A |
|
06 Sep 10 - 01:52 PM (#2981021) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! 2.0 - Fit 4 From: mousethief An elective Silver BLOB to Matthew Edwards for the punny: To raise funds for her candidate And to maximise her mammorial state, Misty, water-colored mammaries of the way they were ----------- Back in a flash with Golden Cow Chips. |
|
06 Sep 10 - 02:16 PM (#2981028) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! 2.0 - Fit 4 From: mousethief And now here's the moment you've all been dreading, the Fit 4 Golden Cow Chip Awards! The Golden Cow Chip Award with Harp Ribbon (for being able to make the Judges fall on the floor laughing OR make them short out their keyboard with tears) is hereby awarded to:
The Golden Cow Chip Award with Shamrock Cluster (for a very high level of imagination, imagery, and/or creative use of language in a song) is awarded to:
The Golden Cow Chip Award with Guinness Crest (for causing both Harp Ribbon conditions within one song) is awarded to:
The Golden Cow Chip Award with Memorial MMario Silverplated Spittoon (for the Challenge! entry which evokes an instantaneous bubbling up of frothy mirth from out of the lips of the Judges and onto their monitor screen) is awarded to:
The Golden Cow Chip Award with Mt. Rainier Medallion (for closely and hilariously following the pattern of its original) is awarded to:
Once again a fine showing of the amazing mammalian talent of our Challengees! Hold your ... erm, heads up high! The new challenge will be posted in two tits. I mean ticks. |
|
06 Sep 10 - 02:49 PM (#2981043) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! 2.0 - Fit 4 From: mousethief The new Challenge! (Fit 5) has been posted. Please come on over and write a funny song! |
|
21 Oct 10 - 02:40 PM (#3012377) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! 2.0 - Fit 4 From: Trapper ELECTION, OR BUST! TUNE: Verses - A Gay Caballero, (aka The Limerick Song) Chorus - Cielito Lindo New Words: Trapper (Al Boyce) A candidate, Venezualan Behind in the polls was a-trailin' So he'd raise campaign cash For an 11th hour dash With a raffle to keep him from failin' CHORUS: Aye, Aye, Aye, Aye I'll buy a ticket! Sell me a chance for your campaign finance And I'll win me more than a handful! He'd canvass professors and scholars And women with fine frilly collars For Bolivars in hand Tot'ling 25 grand (Or in U.S., exacty six dollars!) CHORUS: Aye, Aye, Aye, Aye I'll buy a ticket! Sell me a chance for your campaign finance To win me some huge tracts of land! As as prize for each patron's donation He explained with a great excitation For their six-buck advance They'd each get one chance For Mammary Amplification! CHORUS: Aye, Aye, Aye, Aye I'll buy a ticket! Sell me a chance for your campaign finance And we will become your door knockers! As enticement for joining his caucus In the race for control of Caracas Into surgery she gets With her tinier tits And come home with giant Maracas! CHORUS: Aye, Aye, Aye, Aye I'll buy a ticket! Sell me a chance for your campaign finance And we will become bosom buddies! Gustavo, the best of promoters Did not win, was not one of the floaters But he married the winner And each night over dinner Keeps abreast of one of his voters! CHORUS: Aye, Aye, Aye, Aye I'll buy a ticket! Sell me a chance for your campaign finance And I'll win me more than a handful! |
|
22 Oct 10 - 02:24 AM (#3012776) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! 2.0 - Fit 4 From: mousethief This is truly inspired: As enticement for joining his caucus In the race for control of Caracas Into surgery she gets With her tinier tits And come home with giant Maracas! And wins : Golden Cow Chip Award with Memorial MMario Silverplated Spittoon (The GCCWMMSPS is awarded for evoking an instantaneous bubbling up of frothy mirth from out of the lips of the Judges and onto their monitor screen) |
|
22 Oct 10 - 10:55 AM (#3013024) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! 2.0 - Fit 4 From: Flash Company I met him in Venez-u-a-a-a-a-a-la He was out to get my vote, He offered a prize in the lottery, A pair of silicone tits for me, If I'd vote for him in Venez-u-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-la! So I went to the poll and I cast my vote as required, My Vote he did require, And he was elected, I'm pleased to say, I stood in the street and I shouted Hooray, I'll get my new tits in Venez-u-a-a-a-a-a-la But when I went down to his office to pick up my prize, I got a big surprise, All that I got was a padded bra, I tell you girls, politicians are, A right load of tits in Venez-u-a-a-a-la FC |
|
22 Oct 10 - 10:56 PM (#3013468) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! 2.0 - Fit 4 From: mousethief A truly sad story, FC. What tune is it to? Your ditty is well deserving of the: Golden Cow Chip Award with Space Needle Teardrop (the Space Needle Teardrop is awarded for causing a lump of sadness to arise in the judges' throats.) |