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04 Oct 10 - 01:13 AM (#2999121) Subject: SONG CHALLENGE! 2.0 - Fit 9 From: mousethief SONG CHALLENGE! 2.0 - Fit 9 You genii are doing great! Let's keep the ball rolling.... Here's this week's goofy story: Parrot squawks on cheating lover's affair A devastated Englishman learned the horrible truth that his girlfriend was cheating on him - straight from his pet parrot's mouth. Chris Taylor's parrot Ziggy began squawking "Hiya, Gary" every time his girlfriend Suzy Collins's mobile phone rang. The African Grey also made kiss noises each time it heard the name Gary on television or radio. At first amused owner Mr Taylor, a computer programmer, dismissed it as something the bird had picked up watching TV. But then he snuggled up beside Suzy on the sofa in their flat in Leeds and Ziggy cried out in Suzy's voice "I love you, Gary." The cat was finally out of the bag. Call-center worker Ms Collins, 25, broke down in tears and confessed to having a four-month fling with a former colleague. She had met her lover in the flat while Ziggy looked on. Her confession ended their two-year relationship. It also led to 30-year-old Mr Taylor parting company with his pet - because it kept screeching out her lover's name. (There's more of the story on the link) Okay, Challengees! can you write a funny song (or two or...) about this story? I'm sure you can! |
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04 Oct 10 - 02:43 AM (#2999137) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! 2.0 - Fit 9 From: Georgiansilver To the tune of "If I Was A Blackbird" Oh I am a parrot, for Chris I did sing. I grassed up his Suzy for the trouble she'd bring. Her boyfriend called Gary, He came to the house, Without my Chris knowing, oh ain't he a louse! Now Suzy and Gary I've watched with disdain, That she was his mistress, I witnessed quite plain. But when I had learnt all I needed to know, I grassed up those cheaters now she's had to go! Now there's still a problem the story's not dead, I can't get that Garys name out of my head. I shouted it often, for no reason it's true, So now poor old Chris has got rid of me too! |
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05 Oct 10 - 05:32 AM (#2999892) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! 2.0 - Fit 9 From: GUEST Must be someone else ready to have a go at this surely |
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05 Oct 10 - 06:53 AM (#2999943) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! 2.0 - Fit 9 From: GUEST,Murphy Well shiver up me timbers, deal the dead man from the Tarot Here I stands and I limbers beside a squawking parrot. Me lover, she lies struttin' in a Kama Sutra pose While I lose half me buttons as I tear off me clothes. Then I'm at it while the green birds keeps on shouting "Go on Gary" And I satisfy the keen bird, then she says "When shall we marry"? Well, I'v left there like a rocket after tidying the scene With my buttons in my pocket, play it safe - know what I mean? But that parrot blew me cover and me name has turned to mud Now her boyfriend seeks her lover and he's thirsty for me blood. Well, the next time I go shafting, I'll be checking for the Cage While I leave her there still laughing and avoid the boyfriend's rage. |
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05 Oct 10 - 10:48 AM (#3000158) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! 2.0 - Fit 9 From: GUEST,Neil D If your talking bird's repeating What he hears while you are cheating On your boyfriend there will be a nasty fight So when your lover's over And you're rolling in the clover Make sure the bird is safely out of sight Now before you grin and bear it Lock the parrot in the garret If your lover's coming over tonight While you enjoy your lover's fitness Don't forgot the winged witness Who soon will bust you just for spite For your boyfriend gets suspicious When his parrot, quite malicious Is heard echoing the sounds of your delight So before you grin and bear it Lock the parrot in the garret If your lover's coming over tonight While you're sucking faces And sharing fond embraces Your wildest fancy's taking flight Just know that dirty bird Is going to spread the word Nothing you can say can make it right So before you grin and bear it Lock the parrot in the garret If your lover's coming over tonight |
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05 Oct 10 - 03:38 PM (#3000367) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! 2.0 - Fit 9 From: Amos The aspect of this that has been missed, I believe, is the parrot's motivation. THis Gary fellow wanted to settle down and marry the girl, but she was tied up with the other guy and wouldn't break his heart. So Gary went out and bought some Pure Corn and Grain Parrot Treats and kept them in his pockets (when he had any) while viting the lass. As a result of this delectable incentive, the parrot learned whatever Gary wanted him to. His plan worked and he will end up marrying the girl and getting just what he deserves... |
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05 Oct 10 - 06:41 PM (#3000507) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! 2.0 - Fit 9 From: Matthew Edwards Congratulations to Georgiansilver for another brilliant flying start! A complete composition within 90 minutes! Well done Mike! Welcome to Murphy, and good to see Neil D coming back strongly too. There are a few examples of talking birds in folksong so I hope there are lots more songs to come. I recently enjoyed hearing Mrs Folkiedave sing Old Maid in the Garret which features a parrot (or did she sing "If I canna get a man then I'll have to get a carrot"?) I expect Suzy in the news story would want to create her own version of Edith Wheeler's song My Singing Bird. "If I could lure my singing bird From his own cosy cage; If I could catch my singing bird I would kill him in a rage, For there's none of them can snitch on a cheat My singing bird as you." Matthew |
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06 Oct 10 - 12:30 PM (#3001068) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! 2.0 - Fit 9 From: Georgiansilver Thank you Matthew, Thank you Matthew, Thank you Matthew, Who's a pretty boy then? LOL I enjoy your compositions too.... I guess I love creativity in any form. Best wishes, Mike. |
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07 Oct 10 - 11:31 AM (#3001732) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! 2.0 - Fit 9 From: Georgiansilver What has happened to the illustrious Mousethief?? |
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07 Oct 10 - 11:48 AM (#3001751) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! 2.0 - Fit 9 From: Amos He was turned in to the coppers And they took Mousthief away For the officer's deposition swears That his parrot did to him say "Oh, Mousethief is a burglar! A no-good rotten louse! For he has stolen all the meese We had within this house! He took them without warning On his evil stealing spree! And ever since, the fucking cat Has had her eye on me!!" |
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07 Oct 10 - 12:15 PM (#3001771) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! 2.0 - Fit 9 From: mousethief I'm here! I was just having a word with Strider in the corner! And here are some Silver BLOBs I had in my rucksack:
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07 Oct 10 - 12:42 PM (#3001797) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! 2.0 - Fit 9 From: mousethief Escape (The Extra Birdseed Song) with apologies to Rupert Holmes Was getting tired of my boyfriend I know that sounds kinda crass But my live-in boyfriend Had become a pain in the ass But I hate confrontation I could never just say "I don't love you no more So I'm going away" So one day while he was working I got a beautiful plan I'd teach his bird to say new things He'd think I had a new man (chorus) If you would like extra bird seed And pretty toys from the shop Just repeat what I tell you And then don't ever stop Just wake my boyfriend up at midnight With the words on this tape Just say "I love you Gary" And I'll make my escape Now I don't have a new boyfriend That surprised you, it's plain I just picked "Gary" at random From a website of baby names I started training the parrot To say "Gary" a bunch He learned several new phrases Over many a lunch (repeat chorus) But my boyfriend's so clueless It took him over a week To realize what his parrot Was trying to say with its beak But finally the oaf got it And just stood there agape He pointed me to the front door And I made my escape! (repeat chorus) |
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07 Oct 10 - 12:51 PM (#3001805) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! 2.0 - Fit 9 From: Amos LOL, ALex!! Definitely worth a LARGE BLOB!!!! for "Now I don't have a new boyfriend That surprised you, it's plain I just picked "Gary" at random From a website of baby names " A |
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08 Oct 10 - 05:19 PM (#3002823) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! 2.0 - Fit 9 From: mousethief bump |
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09 Oct 10 - 06:32 PM (#3003456) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! 2.0 - Fit 9 From: mousethief Interest in the contest appears to be dropping off. It's the recession. |
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10 Oct 10 - 09:23 PM (#3004146) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! 2.0 - Fit 9 From: mousethief Fit 9 winners -- repeat after me! The Golden Cow Chip Award with Harp Ribbon (for making the Judges fall on the floor laughing OR make them short out their keyboard with tears) is hereby awarded to:
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10 Oct 10 - 09:30 PM (#3004149) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! 2.0 - Fit 9 From: mousethief Come see us over at Fit 10! |
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28 Oct 10 - 12:29 PM (#3017806) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! 2.0 - Fit 9 From: Trapper b>POLLY WOLLY DIDDLE New words by Al Boyce 6/25/2001 Oh, I went down south for to see my folks My husband and my mynah bird stayed In my bed he was giving his mistress strokes, And Polly watched him diddle all the day.
Chorus:
My lawyer's case would not be heard |
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28 Oct 10 - 12:33 PM (#3017809) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! 2.0 - Fit 9 From: Trapper Sorry! I meant to PREVIEW that last entry, but accidentally POSTED it straight away instead! It was a parody I wrote for a similar story in the original Song Challenge! - for Song Challenge #56. Hope you enjoy the re-tread! - Al |
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28 Nov 10 - 07:53 PM (#3042395) Subject: RE: Song Challenge! 2.0 - Fit 9 From: Nigel Parsons A little late for this challenge, But ... A year or two ago, at the BBC club in cardiff, Frank Hennessey (our host) told a joke about a man whose parrot ruins his family wife. By the time I got called upon to sing (within 2 hours) I had put the whole tale to music. (Tune: Llwyn Onn [the Ash Grove]) A woman who was lonely and wanted some comp'ny Bought a parrot from a pet shop and took it away. It came from a brothel; its language was offal She swore she'd return it the following day. But when she revealed it, Its fate it was sealed, it ... Said, "You're quite the looker, like no-one before." So she thought she'd keep it, as she went to sleep, it Thought "she's better looking than any old whore". The very next day, when the bird met her daughters It had to compare them to previous 'girls'. It said " These are beauties, you must be so proud Of these lovely young women, a true pair of pearls." But then it upset her. Gave cause to regret her great love of this parrot, and Oh! how it hurt. For as the door opened; and in walked her husband. The bird was unruffled, and said "Hello Bert"! Cheers Nigel |
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29 Nov 10 - 12:20 AM (#3042497) Subject: RE: Song Challenge! 2.0 - Fit 9 From: mousethief Very nice! Very funny. You may have a late Silver BLOB! Don't stop here, please give us more of your handiwork on our other threads! |
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08 Dec 10 - 05:02 PM (#3049123) Subject: RE: Song Challenge! 2.0 - Fit 9 From: Genie Very funny entries so far! I'm toying with a couple ideas but will have to ponder the details of this bird-brained story a bit later, Neil, what is the tune for your lyrics? Most of the verses seem to fit "Humoresque" - at least the "Passengers will please refrain" portions of that piece - but some don't, so I'm wondering if it's based on a particular melody. It's pretty funny even without knowing the tune, though. |