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11 Nov 10 - 05:15 AM (#3029115) Subject: BS: How bad is your economy? From: John MacKenzie The economy is so bad... I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail. CEO's are now playing miniature golf. Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen. I saw a Mormon with only one wife. I bought a toaster oven and my free gift was a bank. Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America. Motel Six won't leave the light on anymore. A picture is now only worth 200 words. They are going to rename Wall Street " Wal-Mart Street." When Bill and Hillary travel together, they have to share a room. The Treasure Island casino in Las Vegas is now managed by Somali pirates. There are members of the GOP thinking legalizing pot might help the economy. I got so depressed last night thinking about politics, the economy, wars, my job, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc. that I called the Suicide Hot-line. I got a call center in Pakistan, and when I told them I felt suicidal they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck... |
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11 Nov 10 - 05:24 AM (#3029118) Subject: RE: BS: How bad is your economy? From: GUEST,Guest from Sanity John, That was GREAT!!! (applause applause) GfS |
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11 Nov 10 - 11:15 AM (#3029350) Subject: RE: BS: How bad is your economy? From: Geoff the Duck Our politicians keep telling us that the Country owes Billions (National deficit). Every other National leader and government says their country owes Billions. Who is it they ALL owe it to? Either they all owe it to each other - England owes USA, USA owes France, France owes Germany, Germany owes England... Why can't we just cancel it all out? OR Everyone owes Bill Gates (or similar) - why can't we all just tell him where to stick his bill? It's none of it REAL money - it's invented by bankers and politicians. Why can't we just string them ALL up and go back to bartering? Quack! GtD. |
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11 Nov 10 - 11:28 AM (#3029374) Subject: RE: BS: How bad is your economy? From: olddude got these on the web The economy is so bad that African television stations are showing 'Sponsor an American Child' commercials! The economy is so bad, a picture is now only worth 200 words. It's so bad, hippie friends had to start eating regular brownies. The economy is so bad, I saw the CEO of Wal-Mart shopping at Wal-Mart. The economy is so bad, I went to my bank the other day and the teller handed me a note saying, "This is a robbery!" |
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11 Nov 10 - 11:29 AM (#3029378) Subject: RE: BS: How bad is your economy? From: olddude The economy is so bad, Dick Cheney took his stockbroker hunting. |
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11 Nov 10 - 11:30 AM (#3029379) Subject: RE: BS: How bad is your economy? From: olddude The economy is so bad that wives are having sex with their husbands because they can't afford batteries. |
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11 Nov 10 - 01:09 PM (#3029500) Subject: RE: BS: How bad is your economy? From: GUEST,Grishka Waiting for rhymed versions and/or songs. Hurry up, economy is rumored to get up again, in public perception if not in reality. |
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11 Nov 10 - 07:17 PM (#3029847) Subject: RE: BS: How bad is your economy? From: kendall It's so bad here that people who don't pay their bills have stopped buying. |
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11 Nov 10 - 07:25 PM (#3029851) Subject: RE: BS: How bad is your economy? From: olddude Kendall excellent !! |
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11 Nov 10 - 07:40 PM (#3029866) Subject: RE: BS: How bad is your economy? From: Bobert Bill an' Hillary in the same bed??? Say it ain't so... (It ain't so, Boberdz... One room, two beds...) Whew... |
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11 Nov 10 - 07:43 PM (#3029871) Subject: RE: BS: How bad is your economy? From: olddude It's so bad, McDonalds is introducing the 1/4-Ouncer. The economy's so bad, Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen. |
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11 Nov 10 - 07:45 PM (#3029875) Subject: RE: BS: How bad is your economy? From: olddude The economy is so bad that Roy's tigers are now eating him out of necessity. |
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11 Nov 10 - 07:50 PM (#3029883) Subject: RE: BS: How bad is your economy? From: olddude I hear it is so bad that Spaw is now charging people when he calls them a fuckweed |
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12 Nov 10 - 07:47 PM (#3030765) Subject: RE: BS: How bad is your economy? From: kendall These depressions always come on the heels of hard times. If I could buy a bus ticket with food stamps I'd move to NC. |
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12 Nov 10 - 09:07 PM (#3030814) Subject: RE: BS: How bad is your economy? From: Q (Frank Staplin) Was that Warren Buffett I saw riding a bicycle? |
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13 Nov 10 - 07:32 PM (#3031415) Subject: RE: BS: How bad is your economy? From: kendall My neighbor said that having the wolf at his door was bad enough but now the sumbitch had pups in his kitchen. |
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13 Nov 10 - 08:49 PM (#3031462) Subject: RE: BS: How bad is your economy? From: olddude Kendall LOL that was good |
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14 Nov 10 - 12:43 PM (#3031940) Subject: RE: BS: How bad is your economy? From: kendall If it cost a dollar to go around the world, I couldn't get out of sight. |
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14 Nov 10 - 01:10 PM (#3031962) Subject: RE: BS: How bad is your economy? From: olddude It is so bad that catter's now have to hand write their messages and tape it to the wall |
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14 Nov 10 - 01:11 PM (#3031964) Subject: RE: BS: How bad is your economy? From: olddude so bad my old watch just asked me what time it is |
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14 Nov 10 - 01:13 PM (#3031967) Subject: RE: BS: How bad is your economy? From: David C. Carter You got Tape!! You got walls!! |
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14 Nov 10 - 01:24 PM (#3031972) Subject: RE: BS: How bad is your economy? From: olddude David, outstanding !! LOL |
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14 Nov 10 - 01:31 PM (#3031975) Subject: RE: BS: How bad is your economy? From: olddude Its so bad they are now shortening song times ...yea lightfoots "if you could read my mind" is now "if you could read!" |
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14 Nov 10 - 01:40 PM (#3031982) Subject: RE: BS: How bad is your economy? From: VirginiaTam so bad that MacAfee is diversifying into the virus market. errrmmm? |
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14 Nov 10 - 02:16 PM (#3032004) Subject: RE: BS: How bad is your economy? From: David C. Carter T-mes is -o b-d,-hev"e r-poss-d sum- of th- k-ys of -y k-ybo-d -avi- Ca-er |
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15 Nov 10 - 08:31 AM (#3032598) Subject: RE: BS: How bad is your economy? From: GUEST,Patsy By the end of the week a stew finally becomes just baked beans. |
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15 Nov 10 - 08:40 AM (#3032611) Subject: RE: BS: How bad is your economy? From: David C. Carter We all sit round, eyes glued to the empty space where the TV used to be. |
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15 Nov 10 - 09:56 AM (#3032657) Subject: RE: BS: How bad is your economy? From: olddude LOL! |
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15 Nov 10 - 12:51 PM (#3032789) Subject: RE: BS: How bad is your economy? From: GUEST,kendall You had a TV? we would have killed for one! |
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15 Nov 10 - 12:57 PM (#3032797) Subject: RE: BS: How bad is your economy? From: David C. Carter How do think we got ours! |
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15 Nov 10 - 01:15 PM (#3032805) Subject: RE: BS: How bad is your economy? From: David C. Carter On Saturday nights my wife makes her speciality for all of us. It's called "Diluted Water Soup". Three parts tap water, One part diluted water, A dash of salt and pepper,"to taste". Pour "contents"into large saucepan,mix well and bring to the boil. Leave to simmer for two hours,serve while hot. She learned this from her mother during the Balkan wars. |
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15 Nov 10 - 01:35 PM (#3032814) Subject: RE: BS: How bad is your economy? From: olddude My mom use to wavy a chicken over boiling water to get the sent ... Once she added a carrot but that was a special occasion |
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15 Nov 10 - 01:41 PM (#3032821) Subject: RE: BS: How bad is your economy? From: olddude Its so bad that I bought a toothless dog so I wouldn't have to feed em! |
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15 Nov 10 - 01:46 PM (#3032822) Subject: RE: BS: How bad is your economy? From: David C. Carter You had a chicken! Plus a carrot! I don't believe this! Such oppulence! |
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15 Nov 10 - 01:47 PM (#3032826) Subject: RE: BS: How bad is your economy? From: olddude so bad I got a predeclined credit card in the mail |
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15 Nov 10 - 01:59 PM (#3032829) Subject: RE: BS: How bad is your economy? From: David C. Carter Our local Sperm Bank refused to renew my credit card....said I was "overdrawn" |
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15 Nov 10 - 02:42 PM (#3032858) Subject: RE: BS: How bad is your economy? From: GUEST,kendall There is some very funny stuff here. Keep it coming. My Father said he would move us into a mud hut as soon as he could afford one. |
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15 Nov 10 - 03:08 PM (#3032881) Subject: RE: BS: How bad is your economy? From: olddude so bad the prostitute asked me for 20 bucks until she could get back on her back |
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15 Nov 10 - 03:18 PM (#3032894) Subject: RE: BS: How bad is your economy? From: olddude So bad I put life savers in the church collection basket |
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15 Nov 10 - 03:41 PM (#3032912) Subject: RE: BS: How bad is your economy? From: olddude When you get the mail and your social security check is now an IOU |
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15 Nov 10 - 04:38 PM (#3032955) Subject: RE: BS: How bad is your economy? From: olddude so bad the new tax forms only have two questions 1. How much did you make 2. Mail it in |
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15 Nov 10 - 07:08 PM (#3033070) Subject: RE: BS: How bad is your economy? From: olddude Its so bad I worked my way up from nothing to poverty |
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15 Nov 10 - 07:24 PM (#3033082) Subject: RE: BS: How bad is your economy? From: kendall I started out 50 years ago with nothing. Still have most of it. |
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15 Nov 10 - 07:58 PM (#3033100) Subject: RE: BS: How bad is your economy? From: olddude LOL !! |
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16 Nov 10 - 05:38 AM (#3033295) Subject: RE: BS: How bad is your economy? From: David C. Carter My reflection in the mirror is better dressed than I am. |
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16 Nov 10 - 05:47 AM (#3033302) Subject: RE: BS: How bad is your economy? From: Amergin It's so bad I had to move into my parent's cardboard box, because I couldn't afford the rent on my own..... |
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16 Nov 10 - 05:51 AM (#3033305) Subject: RE: BS: How bad is your economy? From: Amergin It's so bad, I had to go outside to take showers to save on the water.....well that is until the neighbours complained and animal control showed up.... |
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16 Nov 10 - 06:14 AM (#3033322) Subject: RE: BS: How bad is your economy? From: David C. Carter LOL!! |
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16 Nov 10 - 06:30 AM (#3033333) Subject: RE: BS: How bad is your economy? From: David C. Carter Our local Taxidermist said he would see to it that we would have Stuffed Chicken for Christmas.I thought..."How kind of him".Then he said,"If you take care of the chicken,I'll take care of the rest!" |
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16 Nov 10 - 06:40 AM (#3033338) Subject: RE: BS: How bad is your economy? From: David C. Carter We put our empty refuge bins out at night. Next morning the refuse collectors come by and fill 'em up. |
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16 Nov 10 - 08:20 AM (#3033409) Subject: RE: BS: How bad is your economy? From: kendall It's so bad here we don't have any refuse. |
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16 Nov 10 - 12:04 PM (#3033592) Subject: RE: BS: How bad is your economy? From: Donuel Its so bad that airline pilots are stealing in flight meals. Its so bad that Johnny Paycheck wrote a new song 'Take this job and love it'. Its so bad people are selling pennies to scrap yards. Its so bad that Tops is now at the bottom, Safeway is totally unsafe, Giant is downsized, Super Fresh went stale, Piggly Wiggly doesn't move and Walmart is building new stores in Bethesda and Beverly Hills. |
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16 Nov 10 - 01:32 PM (#3033683) Subject: RE: BS: How bad is your economy? From: olddude Donuel you are right bro! I saw a can of the Jolly Green Giant in the grocery store now labeled "Little People Peas" |
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16 Nov 10 - 02:08 PM (#3033709) Subject: RE: BS: How bad is your economy? From: David C. Carter I don't think my stomach could deal with a whole pea all at once. Anyway,they sell them round here by the unit. |