29 Nov 10 - 08:41 AM (#3042690) Subject: BS: Bye for a while From: GUEST,Jon Yet another from me... this time not acrimonious. I go into hospital tommorrow for a detox and programme that takes me to Dec21. How I wish folkinfo had not got hacked fatherer had not ranted and raved at me after last detox when I was still vulnerable but that is life. I've got to handle it better... |
29 Nov 10 - 08:46 AM (#3042697) Subject: RE: BS: Bye for a while From: Jack Campin Good luck then, and see you back on Mudcat around Xmas. I don't recall you being acrimonious, so don't worry about that. |
29 Nov 10 - 08:49 AM (#3042702) Subject: RE: BS: Bye for a while From: GUEST,Jon I had public fall outs with Max I now regret - it should have been private, Jack... Thanks for the good wishes |
29 Nov 10 - 08:51 AM (#3042705) Subject: RE: BS: Bye for a while From: Lizzie Cornish 1 Take good care of yourself, Jon. And don't let your father rant at you any more. Rant back, he'll soon stop. |
29 Nov 10 - 08:53 AM (#3042707) Subject: RE: BS: Bye for a while From: jacqui.c It's good that you can recognise a problem and then deal with it. Good luck to you, hope all goes well. |
29 Nov 10 - 08:55 AM (#3042708) Subject: RE: BS: Bye for a while From: GUEST,Jon I'm far too good at that Lizzie. Unfortunately before I tried to restore a life from being a teenager, I had become quite good at mental cruelty. I'm also even now able to batter a man physically who had a serious stroke but these are not resolutions... |
29 Nov 10 - 08:55 AM (#3042709) Subject: RE: BS: Bye for a while From: GUEST,cs You're going to have to be pretty strong willed after stepping out of detox straight into christmas - I hope you've discussed the pressures of the xmas season with someone, and how best to stay dry. If you have a problematic relationship with your father, it might be wise to consider avoiding possible 'family scenes' that xmas can be a touch paper for too.. Anyway, good luck with it. |
29 Nov 10 - 09:02 AM (#3042714) Subject: RE: BS: Bye for a while From: GUEST,Jon I don;t really have that problem cs. Drink is a coping mechanism to me and the real bad times come with real life events and then getting into a grr mood. That is when things explode. While maybe I should not, a quiet single pint with a fiend does not push this trigger. |
29 Nov 10 - 09:04 AM (#3042716) Subject: RE: BS: Bye for a while From: John MacKenzie You CAN do it Jon. Keep the faith. |
29 Nov 10 - 09:06 AM (#3042718) Subject: RE: BS: Bye for a while From: GUEST,Jon That is drink these days. I'm not claiming I was not reckless with it once. But I've wanted out of that for years and would not enjoy "going out on the piss" with someone. |
29 Nov 10 - 09:07 AM (#3042719) Subject: RE: BS: Bye for a while From: GUEST,Jon Cheers John! |
29 Nov 10 - 09:16 AM (#3042722) Subject: RE: BS: Bye for a while From: Rumncoke Dec 21st is such an auspicious day, the year will have turned and the sun will begin to extend the days once more. Is there some way you can find to ease back into things again? Every day you live free makes it more your normal way of life. Anne |
29 Nov 10 - 09:17 AM (#3042723) Subject: RE: BS: Bye for a while From: GUEST,Jon In one sense, I have a lot in common with mum: If something blows up on her, her "demons" say eat, eat, eat. so she will put on a stone in eating chocolate, etc. In the same situation my own (however you want to read the term) scream drink, drink, drink.... |
29 Nov 10 - 09:54 AM (#3042739) Subject: RE: BS: Bye for a while From: akenaton Good Luck Jon, by your posts it seems that you are able to understand your problems......many are not...so you're half way home. Try not to be too hard on your father, as his ranting is almost certainly a symptom of his concern for you. I have some experience of this in my own family and your dad probably loves you more than life itself....he will be frightened and frustrated, but he will always be the best friend you've got when things get bad......All the best Ake |
29 Nov 10 - 09:59 AM (#3042741) Subject: RE: BS: Bye for a while From: Jean(eanjay) Good luck with the detox. |
29 Nov 10 - 10:05 AM (#3042745) Subject: RE: BS: Bye for a while From: SINSULL My thoughts and prayers are with you, Jon. Mary |
29 Nov 10 - 10:08 AM (#3042748) Subject: RE: BS: Bye for a while From: GUEST,Jon Cheers aks much I can agree with there but father's rants were over fear over his forthcoming hernia operation, One side of me understands his fears only too well but another says why do it to me while I was still vulnerable? Of course at the end of the day forgiveness and understanding is the answer as is is not reacting in ways I do. These are amongst reasons why these days I describe myself as failed Christian. I'm not perfection by any means... |
29 Nov 10 - 10:10 AM (#3042750) Subject: RE: BS: Bye for a while From: saulgoldie Jon, all of my best wishes to you in your struggles. I doubt if any other 'Catters would argue with me that you have our support and love. Let us know of your progress. Come back soon! Regards, Saul |
29 Nov 10 - 10:15 AM (#3042753) Subject: RE: BS: Bye for a while From: GUEST,Alan Whittle Best of luck Jon. theres been plenty of times when I've drunk unwisely. Thinking that at some point you'll drink a couple with an old mate and turn on the technicolour for an evening....I'm afraid that's the illness. I recall Brigit Neilson saying just that - and I thought: how wise, she's been there! know your enemy. |
29 Nov 10 - 10:24 AM (#3042760) Subject: RE: BS: Bye for a while From: GUEST,Jon Cheers all. Saul MC (where I was once a Joe Clone) and perhaps the Internet at large have been odd plaves for me but I'd still bet you Joe, Jeri. Kat of mods and Sinsull amongst others still love me... It ia another of life's tangles that... |
29 Nov 10 - 10:28 AM (#3042763) Subject: RE: BS: Bye for a while From: Jeri You're traveling a path. Every once in a while, you get lost. The road signs say the same: "drink ahead" and you veer off the road again and again. Eventually, though, you find your way back to the main path and walk on. As long as you're still walking, you can't say you've failed. Those by-ways are a problem, but everybody has something that distracts them from the main. As long as you keep on trying, you have won at least one battle. Look forward to the next success, not back at the last failure. I wish strength and wisdom for you. |
29 Nov 10 - 10:38 AM (#3042770) Subject: RE: BS: Bye for a while From: GUEST,Jon Well that's one (Jeri) who still loves (in friendship) mm! |
29 Nov 10 - 10:49 AM (#3042779) Subject: RE: BS: Bye for a while From: Sorcha I still love you, my brother, and Mum too! |
29 Nov 10 - 10:50 AM (#3042780) Subject: RE: BS: Bye for a while From: theleveller Best of luck, Jon. See you back here soon. |
29 Nov 10 - 11:13 AM (#3042789) Subject: RE: BS: Bye for a while From: catspaw49 You sure as hell have all my best thoughts for success, in any way you want to define it.........I wish you all the best to come out the other side even beyond any expectation. Spaw |
29 Nov 10 - 11:14 AM (#3042791) Subject: RE: BS: Bye for a while From: Bonnie Shaljean Only for awhile now, y'hear? See you around Solstice time, when it starts to get lighter. In every sense. Take good care of yourself, and know that you have a lot of friends on here who are looking forward to welcoming you back. Love, Bonnie xxx |
29 Nov 10 - 11:35 AM (#3042799) Subject: RE: BS: Bye for a while From: gnu Good luck. |
29 Nov 10 - 11:52 AM (#3042815) Subject: RE: BS: Bye for a while From: Bobert And remember the old AA saying, "One day at a time"... Hang in there... You'll be fine... B~ |
29 Nov 10 - 11:57 AM (#3042821) Subject: RE: BS: Bye for a while From: Mrrzy Good luck, Jon, hang in there! I admire your efforts. Let us know when you get back, OK? |
29 Nov 10 - 12:36 PM (#3042854) Subject: RE: BS: Bye for a while From: GUEST,Jon Have this I posted elsewhere today as a thanks from me, On of my rare attempts of recording myself and on guitar which I don't really play... |
29 Nov 10 - 01:20 PM (#3042885) Subject: RE: BS: Bye for a while From: ClaireBear I wish you perseverence and strength with your recovery, Jon. You will be in my thoughts and prayers. |
29 Nov 10 - 01:21 PM (#3042889) Subject: RE: BS: Bye for a while From: Ebbie I enjoyed that, Jon. I listened to it three times. Nice job. And the best of luck to you. I'd like to add that it is not pity I feel for you -because the demons you fight are those that were we not lucky, we all could meet. Rather, your ongoing battle makes my heart ache- you voice so well that very battle. Take your time- but hurry back. Things do get better. |
29 Nov 10 - 01:33 PM (#3042895) Subject: RE: BS: Bye for a while From: open mike i applaude your bravery and honesty.. hang in there....trite but true.. today is the first day of the rest of your life... make good choices! you can't change the past but you can decide the future!! learn to enjoy juice, tea and other healthy bevereges! |
29 Nov 10 - 01:41 PM (#3042901) Subject: RE: BS: Bye for a while From: katlaughing Jon, I know Night Owl would join in me in saying you are in our hearts and thoughts and yes, we both do love you AND wish you the very best outcome. My son has had problems for years which really intensified over the past year going through similar circumstances, on again, off again, left to sink or swim and somehow he keeps coming up swimming. Knowing of and articulating the trouble is at least half the battle. Jeri put it in a good way as she always does. Watch for those OTHER road signs and know that we are all sending you our best. IMO, as long as a person is trying they are not a failure. Please check in when you are able and feel up to it. luvyakat |
29 Nov 10 - 01:45 PM (#3042906) Subject: RE: BS: Bye for a while From: VirginiaTam Jon Echoing the good wishes and wise words offered here. Adding that perhaps you should not think of yourself as a failed Christian. Instead think of yourself as a human on a new journey and full of potential for success. That success being coping with the stresses that the journey brings without doing harm to yourself or to others. BTW... loved the audio link.. More please. :~) Tam |
29 Nov 10 - 01:47 PM (#3042908) Subject: RE: BS: Bye for a while From: Ernest All the best Jon! Ernest |
29 Nov 10 - 02:01 PM (#3042922) Subject: RE: BS: Bye for a while From: GUEST,Jon Didn't know of your son, kat. As for me, assuming I get put back together again physically, music will come back to me - hands that can play INO are a gift, etc. There will remain something that while it may be argued against, spiritual rather than mental I need to sort though and without that, I fear that at some point I'll go round in the same circles again. Still I'll try whatever avenues this place opens for me... |
29 Nov 10 - 02:11 PM (#3042927) Subject: RE: BS: Bye for a while From: GUEST,Jon VT, a tune written by me followed by the silver soire it was midi se sequenced Rollr Coaster I can be quite passable in sessions on a good day but fall apart when recoding myself. |
29 Nov 10 - 02:15 PM (#3042931) Subject: RE: BS: Bye for a while From: GUEST,Jon silver spire I meant. |
29 Nov 10 - 02:17 PM (#3042933) Subject: RE: BS: Bye for a while From: frogprince Jon, it's long been obvious from your contributions here that you're a man with a good heart. I'll just join with the others here in wishing the best for you. Dean, in Michigan. |
29 Nov 10 - 02:23 PM (#3042943) Subject: RE: BS: Bye for a while From: ragdall Jon, I've always enjoyed the times we've chatted and missed you when you seemed to disappear. It's been good to see you posting again on Mudcat. I wish you great success in the program and look forward to your return here. rags |
29 Nov 10 - 02:47 PM (#3042979) Subject: RE: BS: Bye for a while From: GUEST,Jon And another musical side to me VT |
29 Nov 10 - 03:26 PM (#3043001) Subject: RE: BS: Bye for a while From: katlaughing More, more!:-) That's a gentle request and smile, Jon. I shall play both links for Night Owl when next we speak. We both wish we had recordings of the old HearMe sessions. Sez he can't really play, sez he! You've got more talent and ability in your little finger than most, but I don't want to pressure nor cause embarrassment; just say thanks for sharing and if you ever record Donkey Riding, Night Owl would be most pleased. My son is forty years old and should not drink, ever. He has lost a lot because of it and the emotional breakdown it has caused: two homes, good jobs, a partner and her young son. He's burnt a lot of bridges, but somehow, once again, has got himself back on track, started a new job, today, after one year of unemployment. Buddhism has helped him some and AA though he is not very fond of the latter. I I, too, think the 21st is a good and symbolic day for you to start your treatment, a sort of Turning towards the Light. All the best to you and your folks, Jon, kat |
29 Nov 10 - 03:34 PM (#3043002) Subject: RE: BS: Bye for a while From: VirginiaTam oh very good stuff.. voice suits the song and vice versa |
29 Nov 10 - 03:35 PM (#3043004) Subject: RE: BS: Bye for a while From: fat B****rd All the very best from Charlie in Dunfermline, Jon. |
29 Nov 10 - 03:38 PM (#3043008) Subject: RE: BS: Bye for a while From: GUEST,cd "I don;t really have that problem cs. Drink is a coping mechanism to me and the real bad times come with real life events" Hi Jon, yeah I know that pattern - stress can inspire episodes of intense binging for people who have that 'switch'. Very similar impulses for people with with bullimia and gambling compulsive behaviours. As said, if you have family relationships where there are old wounds waiting to flare up, why not rent a chalet on the coast for a few days and disappear with some good books and a camera until the season of family bullshit is over? |
29 Nov 10 - 03:41 PM (#3043012) Subject: RE: BS: Bye for a while From: Ed T A "tip of the old Sou' wester" to you and hope we will be hearing from you soon. |
29 Nov 10 - 04:03 PM (#3043033) Subject: RE: BS: Bye for a while From: GUEST,Jon Kat. if I get out of this round I will try to do it. Where you ever in Quebec DR. DR. Stowing timber on a deck... I'd forgotten that one! --- Thanks to the other s who have wished me well |
29 Nov 10 - 04:05 PM (#3043035) Subject: RE: BS: Bye for a while From: wysiwyg Hey Jon, all the best. Go for it! ~Susan & Greg |
29 Nov 10 - 04:06 PM (#3043036) Subject: RE: BS: Bye for a while From: GUEST,Jon cd I am looking for a way out of here but as yet am unsure how. |
29 Nov 10 - 04:33 PM (#3043052) Subject: RE: BS: Bye for a while From: GUEST,Jon VT, I think I nicked that one from an old Alex Camobell recording |
29 Nov 10 - 04:35 PM (#3043054) Subject: RE: BS: Bye for a while From: Smokey. Best of luck, Jon - you can do it. |
29 Nov 10 - 04:48 PM (#3043065) Subject: RE: BS: Bye for a while From: Ed T What lies behind us and what lies before us are small matters compared to what lies within us.--Ralph Waldo Emerson |
29 Nov 10 - 05:01 PM (#3043075) Subject: RE: BS: Bye for a while From: GUEST,cs Subject: RE: BS: Bye for a while From: GUEST,Jon Date: 29 Nov 10 - 04:06 PM cd I am looking for a way out of here but as yet am unsure how. ... cs/cd Sorry typo. As for 'getting out of it', if you need to, then just lie. Eehab: who knows how long it must last? Maybe you need to be in longer than you first thought.. |
29 Nov 10 - 05:45 PM (#3043109) Subject: RE: BS: Bye for a while From: GUEST,Jon The only thing I know on rehab ia it takes a few months. I was in no positions to faced up to folkinfo getting hacked, trying to put back together, dad's blazes, amp blowing, computer chai breaking, etc. Life giving you a break is pat og it... maybe this course will give me a longer period of respite... |
29 Nov 10 - 05:47 PM (#3043113) Subject: RE: BS: Bye for a while From: GUEST,Jon Is part of it intended above. |
29 Nov 10 - 07:33 PM (#3043179) Subject: RE: BS: Bye for a while From: Noreen Hello Jon, loving thoughts for you from me too. Thought about you just the other day- a railway station coffee bar reminded me of that time after Llanstock with Catrin :) I've also enjoyed listening to your sound clips. Takes me back to HearMe days too, kat! All the very best with what's ahead for you, Jon. Keep in touch when you can. |
29 Nov 10 - 07:52 PM (#3043197) Subject: RE: BS: Bye for a while From: GUEST,Jon I remember that time Noreen.... |
29 Nov 10 - 08:39 PM (#3043223) Subject: RE: BS: Bye for a while From: olddude Hey Jon You take care of yourself and get better, everyone goes through a bad time once in a while and needs to work out the kinks ... just get better soon. You got my prayers cause that is what I do Dan |
29 Nov 10 - 10:08 PM (#3043259) Subject: RE: BS: Bye for a while From: katlaughing Jon, no pressure, okay? Just if and when you are able and want to. We listened to a couple of other folks on youtube doing it and Night Owl said, you spoiled us, nobody measures up to how you did it in HearMe. Thanks, either way. Sometimes, people who are so creative, talented, and sensitive can have a tough time in regular life. It all comes at them and makes it hard to cope. A respite can help and I am sure you will come through this. You have so much good within you, Jon. Much love, kat |
30 Nov 10 - 01:57 AM (#3043329) Subject: RE: BS: Bye for a while From: GUEST,Jon kat I wouldn't count myself in but the others I know with problems are incredibly talented and/or intelligent. My best mate/fellow struggler is a phd microbiologist who worked one some things the official secrets act prevent him from even talking about. Lovely interesting guy and a good friend though. |
30 Nov 10 - 02:01 AM (#3043332) Subject: RE: BS: Bye for a while From: GUEST,Jon It gets funny with drink btw. People tend to imagine loutish thugs. Which for sure is one side but there are other sides to it too. |
30 Nov 10 - 05:28 AM (#3043399) Subject: RE: BS: Bye for a while From: KT Thinking of you Jon, wishing you all the best in this new chapter. |
30 Nov 10 - 06:42 AM (#3043438) Subject: RE: BS: Bye for a while From: MikeL2 hi Jon Best of luck Jon. Many of us have been where you are and are willing good things for you. RTegards MikeL2 |
30 Nov 10 - 08:01 AM (#3043480) Subject: RE: BS: Bye for a while From: Sandra in Sydney love & best wishes from me, too, Jon today is the first day of the rest of your life. looking forward to seeing you back here as soon as you can sandra |
30 Nov 10 - 08:13 AM (#3043485) Subject: RE: BS: Bye for a while From: Sandra in Sydney love to Pip as well |
30 Nov 10 - 07:37 PM (#3043934) Subject: RE: BS: Bye for a while From: olddude An oldie but goodie, the time in school when a kid commented to the teacher that he had two different socks on and he said "Yea well I have another pair at home just like them" first time I ever heard that line, 9th grade |
30 Nov 10 - 10:12 PM (#3043988) Subject: RE: BS: Bye for a while From: katlaughing It's good to have a friend like that, Jon, but don't sell yourself short. I have a good ear, as do the others who have heard you. You are a superb and gifted musician, no two ways about it. Night Owl sends her love. |
07 Dec 10 - 06:32 AM (#3048004) Subject: RE: BS: Bye for a while From: GUEST,Jon Thanks all, i haves some limited access where I am at the moment. |
07 Dec 10 - 04:27 PM (#3048317) Subject: RE: BS: Bye for a while From: Lox Hey Jon, You're a brave man to face up to your problems so openly. Facing up to it is 90% of the battle. No denial = nowhere to hide = finally something gets changed. Its the road to a life of infinitely superior quality. Good luck! |
07 Dec 10 - 04:30 PM (#3048320) Subject: RE: BS: Bye for a while From: olddude You will do just fine my friend, hang in there .. It gets better and stay in touch with all your friends |
07 Dec 10 - 05:32 PM (#3048362) Subject: RE: BS: Bye for a while From: Sandra in Sydney keep up the good work, Jon it gets better as you get better. sandra |
07 Dec 10 - 07:58 PM (#3048455) Subject: RE: BS: Bye for a while From: katlaughing Good to *see* you, Jon. ((gentle hugs)) |
08 Dec 10 - 04:58 AM (#3048617) Subject: RE: BS: Bye for a while From: GUEST,Patsy Good Luck Jon, you will do it brave man. Hugs Patsy |
08 Dec 10 - 05:08 PM (#3049125) Subject: RE: BS: Bye for a while From: Noreen More hugs, Jon. Hope you're nice and warm where you are. |
12 Dec 10 - 09:14 AM (#3051719) Subject: RE: BS: Bye for a while From: GUEST,Jon I'm home for a few hrs to try to sort things out. It's looking pretty bad outside. There were things that needed draining and or disconnecting before I went into hospital. I know one manifold has broken and one is OK. I the battery has run flat and even though there is some protection I'm not sure it will have withstood nearly a fortnight in that state. Without the battery power, I can't assess what other damage there may be - I might have to wait till spring to find out. The worts case would be getting on towards £600 of damage. I've tried, got back at first oppertunity of feeling well enough and able to get permission to come home for a few hours. That's all I could do... --- McGrath, detoxes do work in the physical sense and I have used to methods. The first and most common for me is a self reduction detox. With that I reduce by 4 units (eg 2 x 500ml 4%abc cans) every other day. The usual reason for that failing on me has been I've starting vomiting too badly to keep alcohol inside me and just stopping in my case will cause a seizure - some would get really bad dts - it's very dangerous to "just stop". The alternative detox I've had uses librium to counter the withdrawal symptoms (knocks my balance right out by the way at the start I can't walk without assistance). Librium itself is addictive so they start you off on a high dosage and wean you off that - this time round we started with 3 tablets 3 times a day then 2 x3 times, 1 x3 times a day , 1x2 times, 1x1 time then off completely. One thing a detox can not prevent is a relapse though and one thing I fine is that I am very vulnerable after one. I really need a couple of months without strife to be in with a chance - something I have not been able to get in say the past 18 months... It also can not change my reaction to strife. I think everyone with alcohol problems is different and I find mine impossible to explain to doctors. Some of my most stable times have involved social drinking and some of my worst have involved attempted abstinence... It's more a matter of how life treats me and how I react to that and nothing can take away my knowledge that even though I know it's the worst thing I can do I can sort of switch my self off with a litre of brandy... I've cracked some other things with drink but not this one. This time round medicines answer to an idiot hacking my web site and father irrationally taking his problems out on me (and of course me eventually snapping and doing my "self destructive anger drinking") is to detox me in a psychiatric unit and asses me for mental health problems - maybe I have... but I can't help but feel that hacker and my father are more in need of that assessment than me ;-) Anyway this time they are following up with a 6 week course I am dreading, largely because it involves a lot of group work. Group work can be the best thing in the world for some but others like me can find it a complete nightmare. Still I'm nothing else to try and I can't simply return home to watch the next round happen. Maybe if I survive the course it will teach me some new coping strategy that actually works but I am sceptical. In my experience if I'm in one of these battles if I survive on thing, it only leads to the next, then the next until the straw finally breaks the camel's back... What I really need is for life to give me a longer and more even break but that is something science tends not to recognise and in any case can do nothing about. |
12 Dec 10 - 02:54 PM (#3051936) Subject: RE: BS: Bye for a while From: GUEST,jOhn look after yourself Jon. jOhn |
12 Dec 10 - 05:49 PM (#3052057) Subject: RE: BS: Bye for a while From: Sandra in Sydney best wishes from me, too - I hope that going beyond your comfort zone isn't as bad as it's been in the past. love from sandra |
12 Dec 10 - 06:01 PM (#3052063) Subject: RE: BS: Bye for a while From: katlaughing Jon, one thing I've learned in therapy over the past year is even if others could use a good mental health assessment, too, I have no control over them. The only thing I can do is keep up with the help I am getting and learn not to react so much to what I cannot control, i.e. my son's bouts with drinking and other family matters. It's not easy, esp. when it is someone with whom you live, but if we take care of ourselves and learn not to react in the same old patterns, they will get the message that boundaries have been set and are going to stay in place. How they want to play the game is up to them. I am not a group person, either, unless it's online:-), but I have friends who have really gained a lot of perspective and help through group sessions. I hope you find this to be true for you, too. All the best, luvyakat |
13 Dec 10 - 07:32 PM (#3052864) Subject: RE: BS: Bye for a while From: IvanB Jon, I just saw this thread for the first time today. Sorry I didn't see it sooner so I could add my good wishes for successful detox and ongoing health. Please know my thoughts are with you and I'm sending all the strength I can your way. Hold in there, buddy! |
13 Dec 10 - 08:03 PM (#3052872) Subject: RE: BS: Bye for a while From: Richie Black (misused acct, bad email) Best wishes to you. Remember, you are not only giving yourself a new life, you are giving it to the ones you love and who love you. Remember that person is still in there, be strong and you will someday help others, you will take great pride in saying "No thanks" I don't use it anyone. Thoughts and prayers will be going out daily. |