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lets rewrite folksongs with happy ending

11 Jan 11 - 07:38 AM (#3072005)
Subject: lets rewrite folksongs with happy ending
From: GUEST,Alan Whittle

Today i was moved to write this on the Banna strand thread

'yes its still a very sad song.

When I was young I used to think that 18th century guy who wrote a happy ending to King lear was nuts. Nowadays, I'm not so sure.

If Rc had stayed aboard the submarine , gone back to germany and had tea with the Kaiser. That would have been nicer.'

Really we could write all folksongs to give them a happy ending. Does Matty groves always have to have his head cut off, must Tom dooley always face the hangman, do the Yellow gypsies have to go the same way.....

these are our songs.

Lets plan for a nicer world.


11 Jan 11 - 07:50 AM (#3072013)
Subject: RE: lets rewrite folksongs with happy ending
From: GUEST,MC Fat (at work)

It would have been a lot better if Willie McBride had come back from the First World War and if they hadn't found Lord Lovels fairy bride in the Mistletoe Bough


11 Jan 11 - 07:59 AM (#3072020)
Subject: RE: lets rewrite folksongs with happy ending
From: GUEST,Suibhne Astray

these are our songs.

That's a common misunderstanding of the revival - they are not our songs, but the songs of those who made them. For sure we may remake them, but they then become something else - much as Stonehenge would become something else if we remade that.


11 Jan 11 - 08:00 AM (#3072021)
Subject: RE: lets rewrite folksongs with happy ending
From: TheSnail

From what I have heard, in the original story of King Lear that Shakespeare knicked from Hollinshed and others, Cordelia defeated her sisters, restoresd Lear to the throne and then ruled in her own right after he died.


11 Jan 11 - 08:06 AM (#3072024)
Subject: RE: lets rewrite folksongs with happy ending
From: GUEST,Gail

and if only Anachie Gordon had got home on the earlier tide....


11 Jan 11 - 08:08 AM (#3072025)
Subject: RE: lets rewrite folksongs with happy ending
From: GUEST,colin holt

And if John Ball had just kept his mouth shut ......


11 Jan 11 - 08:10 AM (#3072026)
Subject: RE: lets rewrite folksongs with happy ending
From: GUEST,Alan Whittle

Yes but someone (was it Garrick?) decided to piss about with shakespeare's masterpiece. Can't we piss about with materpieces?

its our turn on the earth to live and breathe - must every folk evening have its Grand Guignol moments - and usually longer than moments.

as Christy sang, 'some old songs aren't worth singing...'


11 Jan 11 - 08:31 AM (#3072035)
Subject: RE: lets rewrite folksongs with happy ending
From: theleveller

"It's well I like your feather bed
And better I like your sheets
But I'd like it best if you hopped in
And gave us both a treat."


11 Jan 11 - 08:39 AM (#3072041)
Subject: RE: lets rewrite folksongs with happy ending
From: Silas

And if only Franklin could have wated for global warming...


11 Jan 11 - 08:40 AM (#3072043)
Subject: RE: lets rewrite folksongs with happy ending
From: Silas

And if Benbow had jumped at just the right time...


11 Jan 11 - 08:43 AM (#3072045)
Subject: RE: lets rewrite folksongs with happy ending
From: Will Fly

And if only Dives had taken Lazarus down the pub...


11 Jan 11 - 08:52 AM (#3072052)
Subject: RE: lets rewrite folksongs with happy ending
From: Steve Gardham

Leveller, what's that about great minds?

This is what jumped out at me.

Lord Barnard looked at Little Musgrave
His face was rather gleesome,
He jumped right in between them both
Crying 'Let's have a threesome!'

Spooky or what?

Of course if they'd all read the warnings in the first verse none of these bad endings would have happened.


11 Jan 11 - 08:54 AM (#3072054)
Subject: RE: lets rewrite folksongs with happy ending
From: Nicholas Waller

"Lady, come down the stairs," says Fat Lankin.
"How can I see in the dark?" she says unto him.
"You have silver mantles," says Fat Lankin.
"Lady, come down the stairs by the light of them."
Down the stairs the lady came, thinking no harm
Lankin was ready to surprise her with a treat.
There was food all in the kitchen
There was food all in the hall
There was food all in the parlour
Where my lady she did eat.
Now Fat Lankin shall be cheered
to the rafters oh so high,
And the good nurse shall be turning
in the fire, another pie.

Said the lord unto his lady as he rode tapping his tum
"Beware of Fat Lankin, who learned cooking from his mum;
Beware the wine, beware the cheese, beware of Fat Lankin
Make sure the doors are bolted well
Or toss your diet in the bin"


11 Jan 11 - 08:58 AM (#3072057)
Subject: RE: lets rewrite folksongs with happy ending
From: Bob the Postman

An all-purpose happy ending:

Out by the henhouse the rooster did crow
The sun through the casement did gleam
The hectic events and the tragic results
Turned out to be only a dream


11 Jan 11 - 09:08 AM (#3072066)
Subject: RE: lets rewrite folksongs with happy ending
From: Taconicus

Aww, there's nothing like a good sad-ending howler. But this reminds me of the Boy Scouts, where we sang songs rewritten with happy endings.

Oh my darlin, oh my darlin,
Oh my darlin Clementine,
With artificial respiration
I did save my Clementine!


11 Jan 11 - 09:24 AM (#3072075)
Subject: RE: lets rewrite folksongs with happy ending
From: Crane Driver

Hey, come off it lads - these are folk songs - we're not supposed to get pleasure from them!

{runs for cover}

;-}


11 Jan 11 - 09:28 AM (#3072082)
Subject: RE: lets rewrite folksongs with happy ending
From: Manitas_at_home

Those Babes in the Woods should have used a Os map and kept to the path.


11 Jan 11 - 09:36 AM (#3072091)
Subject: RE: lets rewrite folksongs with happy ending
From: theleveller

"Leveller, what's that about great minds?

hahaha! Is that great or dirty?


11 Jan 11 - 09:41 AM (#3072094)
Subject: RE: lets rewrite folksongs with happy ending
From: GUEST

Yes, I can hear Banks of Red Roses

So he took out his pen knife, it was both long and sharp
and he plunged it right into his own poor Mary's heart
But lucky they were next to a top knotch hospital
And Mary's now doing well, and Johnny's gang to jail...

And it being Sweedan, he's soon to be reformed
And will stop killing girl friends and leaving us forelorn
Yes he'll stop knifing sweathearts, he now knows it is wrong
And poor ol' Alan Whittle will have his happy song

ah... and the inspiration of all this...

to the tune of Banna Strand...

Sir Rodger survied the hanging in dreay london town
He dropped on Old Victoria and broke her bloody crown
So she freed the Irish nation, invited us to tea
She and Rodger took a holliday all on the Irish sea.

And by the way the british fireing squad missed Connolly and all
Just like our Cousin Rodger, who missed that dreadful fall
Michael Collens had a hat band made of the finest steel
The Titanic sank the iceburg, and Obama's change is real.

(Sorry... YES, I DID vote for the bugger)


11 Jan 11 - 09:43 AM (#3072097)
Subject: RE: lets rewrite folksongs with happy ending
From: Waddon Pete

...a holiday, a holiday, and the first one of the year....

Matty Groves saw it was raining, stayed in and had a beer!

I guess we all feel sorry for Matty as he always gets quoted, but the when the Fairport track starts on Liege and Lief, it couldn't be any other song, could it!

However a member of the audience said to me the other day, "I'm glad you don't sing all these miserable songs all night"......so I guess I'm leaning towards your argument here Alan....

Best wishes,

Peter


11 Jan 11 - 09:48 AM (#3072103)
Subject: RE: lets rewrite folksongs with happy ending
From: InOBU

Oh... banks of red roses and Rodger Casement, my songs, sorry, I did not know my cookie got ate...
Lorcan Otway


11 Jan 11 - 10:02 AM (#3072115)
Subject: RE: lets rewrite folksongs with happy ending
From: Bernard

I've been singing this 'extra verse' to Claudy Banks, which gives the song the ending I thought it may really have had in the real world...!
When Betsy, she heard him say so
She smacked him around the head!
Saying 'After I have finished with you
You will wish you were really dead!
You'll wish that you had perished
All on the coast of Spain,
And if you know what's good for you
You'll just sod off again!'

I've always thought the happy endings on most 'broken token' songs were a bit far fetched...!

;o)


11 Jan 11 - 10:13 AM (#3072121)
Subject: RE: lets rewrite folksongs with happy ending
From: muppett

What if I'd not been a Wild Rover for many a year?
What if I wasn't going to Scarborough Fair?
What if Tom Pierse hadn't lent out his grey mare?
What if that Sailor hadn't become Drunk, we wouldn't have to do owt with him?
What if I hadn't gone off with that girl whose hair hung over her shoulder tied up with a black velvet band?


11 Jan 11 - 10:38 AM (#3072140)
Subject: RE: lets rewrite folksongs with happy ending
From: autoharpbob

Saying "May I come along with you?"
"Oh yes my love, may as well!"


11 Jan 11 - 11:03 AM (#3072154)
Subject: RE: lets rewrite folksongs with happy ending
From: Bob the Postman

Here's my ending for Claudy Banks:

But when I had disclosed myself
She threw a hissy fit.
She threw her fist into my nose,
Saying, "Johnny, you're a shit.
You seem to think it funny
To mess around my head.
I wouldn't marry you
If every man on earth were dead."

And when I heard this dreadful news
I said, "Fiddle-dee-dee.
There's many a change worked on a chap
By seven years at sea.
I am an altered young man
And so I wish you joy,
'Cause as for me I'd rather wed
A handsome cabin boy."


11 Jan 11 - 12:35 PM (#3072220)
Subject: RE: lets rewrite folksongs with happy ending
From: GUEST,Alan Whittle

The twelve month and a day being 'oer
The ghost, it started off
All right I'll pop back from the dead
And then we'll have it off.


11 Jan 11 - 01:19 PM (#3072256)
Subject: RE: lets rewrite folksongs with happy ending
From: The Sandman

Tom Dooley did face the hangman ,furthermore he was innocent, its a true story, FOLK SONGS as they are represent real life.
they are not bollody mills and boon stories


11 Jan 11 - 01:21 PM (#3072258)
Subject: RE: lets rewrite folksongs with happy ending
From: The Sandman

stop behaving like fecking iddjits if every song had a happy ending, it would be tedious, get a grip , you will be having sex changes next


11 Jan 11 - 01:34 PM (#3072264)
Subject: RE: lets rewrite folksongs with happy ending
From: Geoff the Duck

I think if you look again you will find Old Uncle Tom Cobbleigh got lost, but is warming his bones in the newly re-roofed Stonehenge "Hard Rock" cafe.
Quack!
#GtD.


11 Jan 11 - 02:12 PM (#3072289)
Subject: RE: lets rewrite folksongs with happy ending
From: Dan Schatz

I take this thread as an opportunity for plain old fun.

If only Lord Thomas and Fair Ellender had sought pre-marital counseling....

Dan


11 Jan 11 - 02:59 PM (#3072334)
Subject: RE: lets rewrite folksongs with happy ending
From: GUEST,Alan Whittle

sex changes....Famous flower of serving Men

you can't tell me there wasn't a bit of hanky panky going on there, pre=revelation that is. how many men do you call....famous flower. You can kiss my tulips and play with my periwinkle, if there wasn't.

And why do they have to burn Mum at the end.....?

Ammended version

Jump off the pyre and kiss me Mum!
We'll both go shopping and be good chums.

Seriously, wouldn't that be a lot nicer?


11 Jan 11 - 03:05 PM (#3072337)
Subject: RE: lets rewrite folksongs with happy ending
From: GUEST,SteveG

The princess saw the hole in the boat
And so she stuffed her crown in.
Sir Pat and all his crew were saved
She stopped em all from drownin'.

(That's assuming the Norwegian princess was in fact the chief cargo as some say.)


11 Jan 11 - 03:35 PM (#3072352)
Subject: RE: lets rewrite folksongs with happy ending
From: sharyn

Are you lot, serious? I can't tell.

How about, for Clerk Colville, after his lady says, "Be sure you seek no well-faured may,"if the mermaid replies:

I'll scarify my face, my lord,
I'll black it good and rend my hair,
Then we can f_ _ _ all night and day
And of your lady have no care.

Somehow I doubt this would change the outcome ...


11 Jan 11 - 03:40 PM (#3072356)
Subject: RE: lets rewrite folksongs with happy ending
From: Joybell

...Some took off their coats and some took off their caps
Just a-trying to fill in all those salty-water gaps ...

And amazingly it worked. Stopped the water a treat. They hauled the little cabin boy out before he drowned and made friends with the enemy.
Cheers, Joy


11 Jan 11 - 03:51 PM (#3072367)
Subject: RE: lets rewrite folksongs with happy ending
From: Joybell

So the king has written a broad letter
And signed it with his hand
And he's sent it to Sir Patrick Spens
A walking all on the strand
And the very first line Sir Patrick read
A loud, loud laugh gave he
"Silliest plan I ever saw"
And he chucked it into the sea.


11 Jan 11 - 04:44 PM (#3072405)
Subject: RE: lets rewrite folksongs with happy ending
From: Tootler

For Sovay

When he did perceive his love's intent
He took off the ring and cast it at her feet
Saying, "If that's how you trust me my sweet,
Here's your ring which you may keep."
So saying, he turned and walked away.


11 Jan 11 - 05:06 PM (#3072414)
Subject: RE: lets rewrite folksongs with happy ending
From: Noreen

Nice ideas folks, keep 'em coming! :)


11 Jan 11 - 05:10 PM (#3072415)
Subject: RE: lets rewrite folksongs with happy ending
From: olddude

Good idea


11 Jan 11 - 05:26 PM (#3072425)
Subject: RE: lets rewrite folksongs with happy ending
From: GUEST,Alan Whittle

Deadly serious!


11 Jan 11 - 05:46 PM (#3072444)
Subject: RE: lets rewrite folksongs with happy ending
From: Bill D

♫They gave him his orders down at Monroe, Virginia,
Sayin' Steve, you're way behind time,
But take it real easy over White Oak Mountain,
They can wait for their mail this time.♫


11 Jan 11 - 05:48 PM (#3072445)
Subject: RE: lets rewrite folksongs with happy ending
From: GUEST,Alan Whittle

Now we're off to India for seven long year
Tantric sex in an ashram, you'll like that my dear.
And if we ever return again, it'll be in the spring
In our meaningful relationship, you know - that sort of thing....


11 Jan 11 - 06:28 PM (#3072474)
Subject: RE: lets rewrite folksongs with happy ending
From: Don Firth

Lord Randal's "true love," for reasons unknown, does a Lucretia Borgia number on her young suitor and the result is one of the classic ballads.

Back in about nineteen-ought-fifty-seven, a friend of mine and I took a class together at the University of Washington English Department, "The Popular Ballad," taught by Dr. David C. Fowler. The term paper was a doozy. Research a ballad and get together as many versions as you can find. My friend chose "Lord Randal." He turned up either full texts or references to over 1,013 different versions of the ballad!

He found one American version which had been rewritten as a propaganda song for the dairy industry. Little Jimmie Randall had been inadvertently poisoned when his girlfriend fed him oleomargarine instead of real butter!

But the real lulu was—believe it or not—"Billie Boy." He goes to visit his girl friend and she doesn't poison him, she feeds him cherry pie. Which she had baked herself, "quick as a cat can wink its eye." The sad part is that "she's a young thing and cannot leave her mother." Yup. It's a variant of "Lord Randal."

Or the ballad "The Three Ravens." How about eliminating the dead knight, the hounds, the hawks, the fallow doe and all that stuff and have the three ravens all fly down to the local Burger King?

Barbara Allen goes to see Sweet William, who is pining away for her to the point that the poor sod is dying. Instead of turning up her nose and walking out, how about she rips off her clothes, jumps into bed with him, and humps him to death? He dies anyway, but when they bury him by the old church tower, he has a smile on his face.

Yeah, great idea! Let's give them all a happy ending!

Don Firth


11 Jan 11 - 06:31 PM (#3072478)
Subject: RE: lets rewrite folksongs with happy ending
From: The Sandman

horus:
Shut the door their coming through the window,
Shut the window their coming through the door,
Shut the door their coming through the window,
Oh the room is full and won't hold anymore.

I went in for rabbits and I kept them in a hutch.
I only bought two rabbits, it didn't seem like much.
Next morning when I looked at them how they had multiplied.
A thousand rabbits jumped right out and all the neighbors cried:


11 Jan 11 - 06:33 PM (#3072482)
Subject: RE: lets rewrite folksongs with happy ending
From: The Sandman

you might not think that has a happy ending, but it is if you look at it from from a rabbit's perspective.


11 Jan 11 - 06:45 PM (#3072489)
Subject: RE: lets rewrite folksongs with happy ending
From: The Sandman

'Twas gettin' dark, the team got bogged,
The axle snapped in two
I lost me matches and me pipe,
Now what was I to do?
The rains come down, 'twas bitter cold,
And hungry too was I
And the dog shat in the tuckerbox
Nine miles from Gundagai ..
again the dog had been suffering from constipation for over a week, had tried senna pods, figs and had also eaten six cans of prunes, so he was very happy when he eventually shifted his load and christened the TUCKER BOX, SO from the dogs point of view it was a very very happy ending, and all due to drinking Watneys Red


11 Jan 11 - 07:05 PM (#3072515)
Subject: RE: lets rewrite folksongs with happy ending
From: Mark Clark

If folksongs were nice happy songs about happy things like the ones they gave us in grammar school, I'd never have become interested in them at all. No suspense, no insight into the human condition, nothing to see here (move along).

Imagine singing a song to your daughter saying that she shouldn't go out in the woods alone with young men because it isn't considered the "nice” thing to do. Much more fun and effective to sing Pretty Polly or Omie Wise. Those will get her attention and she'll remember the song and the story and maybe even the lesson.

What would I Know Where I'm Goin' be like if Johnny was a nice boy whom everyone's parents wanted for their daughters?

      - Mark


11 Jan 11 - 07:20 PM (#3072519)
Subject: RE: lets rewrite folksongs with happy ending
From: Bill D

...so the child in "The False Knight on the Road" should have given some flip answers to the questions? ;>)


11 Jan 11 - 07:21 PM (#3072520)
Subject: RE: lets rewrite folksongs with happy ending
From: Clontarf83

a rewrite of will the circle be unbroken--rewritten as a wedding song:

We have gathered, here together, on this bright and happy day
For our love of, one another
Is a love that's come to stay.

We are standing, here before you, to give witness to our hearts
We will care for, one another
Until death we will not part

As we walk through, life together, we will always be as one
With our love for one another
We will face each rising sun


Chorus
Yes this circle, will be unbroken
By and by lord by and by
For our hearts have surely spoken
To the sky lord to the sky


11 Jan 11 - 07:43 PM (#3072537)
Subject: RE: lets rewrite folksongs with happy ending
From: GUEST,Alan Whittle

Thats lovely Clontarf83!

I dunno, forget about moral tales for the young Mark Clark.

Give the people in folksongs a bit of a break. Think of pretty polly......poor lass! named after a bleeding parrot, what sort of a start in life is that. attracted to an inbred who spends half the night digging a grave for her.

lets see if we can fix her up with a nice young man who will respect her and build up a tights empire in her honour.


12 Jan 11 - 07:32 AM (#3072816)
Subject: RE: lets rewrite folksongs with happy ending
From: GUEST,Alan Whittle

I love that - the old '97 chugs safely into the station after all these years!

Well done Bill for bringing her home safe!


12 Jan 11 - 07:55 AM (#3072837)
Subject: RE: lets rewrite folksongs with happy ending
From: The Sandman

the 97 chugs into the station ...ha ha..reminds me of steve davis or worse still terry griffiths that would be really interesting ..for train spotters, but a boring story.


12 Jan 11 - 08:13 AM (#3072854)
Subject: RE: lets rewrite folksongs with happy ending
From: Tim Leaning

"much as Stonehenge would become something else if we remade that"
Agreed ,,like lots of things its a shame the Victorians got to it first..


12 Jan 11 - 08:15 AM (#3072856)
Subject: RE: lets rewrite folksongs with happy ending
From: Taconicus

Down in the willow garden
My love and I did meet.
As we sat there a-courting
My love she fell asleep.

I had a bottle of burgaloo wine
My love she did not know.
And so we had a nice picnic
Down on the bank below.


12 Jan 11 - 08:33 AM (#3072861)
Subject: RE: lets rewrite folksongs with happy ending
From: The Sandman

no you had a nice picnic you selfish person, your love slept through it all.however when your love awoke...
my love she awoke from her beauty sleep
and found the wine was gone.
she drew out her little penknife
and stabbed me in the bum


12 Jan 11 - 08:36 AM (#3072864)
Subject: RE: lets rewrite folksongs with happy ending
From: theleveller

"As I was a-walking along Radcliffe Highway....I didn't meet a soul all the way."

"As I was about to walk out one May morning - I heard the weather forecast and stayed at home."

Well, that's about 90% of folk songs accounted for.


12 Jan 11 - 09:25 AM (#3072884)
Subject: RE: lets rewrite folksongs with happy ending
From: Taconicus

Oh bother, must I recite every obvious detail? Obviously, I prepared a lovely picnic tableau with place settings, wine glasses, cold chicken and potato salad, etc. while she was sleeping, and then woke her up for the picnic. Surely you can see that if I recited all that in the song I'd have another Tay Bridge Disaster.


12 Jan 11 - 09:28 AM (#3072886)
Subject: RE: lets rewrite folksongs with happy ending
From: olddude

LOL these are priceless keep em coming


12 Jan 11 - 11:19 AM (#3072978)
Subject: RE: lets rewrite folksongs with happy ending
From: Yakherd

Alternative ending to The Blacksmith:

"This restraining order's clear, but I may test it
And if I were with my love, I would be arrested."


12 Jan 11 - 11:42 AM (#3073001)
Subject: RE: lets rewrite folksongs with happy ending
From: Sailor Ron

What about "NOT putting the clock a quarter afor"
and
" If a young maiden would set me free
       O though her love it be easily won
I'd make her my bride in my ain country
       Though she be the Flower of Northumberland
What! Go with you to Scotland, you must be joking! "
and
" I went into aPublic House to get a pint o'beer
   The Publican he up'd and said "Tommy you're welcome here"


12 Jan 11 - 12:39 PM (#3073059)
Subject: RE: lets rewrite folksongs with happy ending
From: GUEST,Alan whittle

By the light of the moon, her mammy arose
By the hair of her head she caught her
And with a bunch of hazel twigs
we all got it on, for an S and m gig


13 Jan 11 - 08:03 AM (#3073654)
Subject: RE: lets rewrite folksongs with happy ending
From: A Wandering Minstrel

"Why weep ye by the tide Lady
Why weep ye by the tide?"
"I was only chopping onions sir
Till ye came here to bide
But I will happily marry you
sae comely to be seen
It's a better choice than a council flat
wi Jock o' Hazeldene"

and

Me hat is frozen to me head
Me feet are like two lumps of lead
Me shoes are frozen to me feet...
So I'm off home for a hot bath


13 Jan 11 - 12:39 PM (#3073784)
Subject: RE: lets rewrite folksongs with happy ending
From: GUEST,Alan Whittle

The King sat in Dunfermline Town
Drinking his blude red wine
He said, I had this idea about a sailing trip
But lets leave it for another time.


13 Jan 11 - 04:53 PM (#3073925)
Subject: RE: lets rewrite folksongs with happy ending
From: irishenglish

9,999 Miles, it is a long way
9,999 Miles, no more
And the rocks may break
And the seas may snow
If I go... just one more mile


13 Jan 11 - 05:04 PM (#3073933)
Subject: RE: lets rewrite folksongs with happy ending
From: Steve Gardham

The wife of Usher's Well she wept
An ocean full of tears
When the youngest son said 'Cheer up, Mum,
We're off for a few beers.'

And ye bonny lass, cheer up as well
As ye sit by the fire,
Give it a poke, twas all a joke,
We did it for to try yer!'


13 Jan 11 - 05:18 PM (#3073945)
Subject: RE: lets rewrite folksongs with happy ending
From: Steve Gardham

There's seven gipsies all in a row
A-waiting to be hung,
When Lady Castles cries 'Hold the rope,
The fat lady hasn't sung!'

Then came a little page boy
With a pardon from the king,
Lady Castles then declared,
'And now I get to sing!'


13 Jan 11 - 05:59 PM (#3073971)
Subject: RE: lets rewrite folksongs with happy ending
From: Richard Mellish

In the real world there are some happy endings, some miserable ones, some surprises, etc. Quite properly all of those are reflected in folk songs.

One who would agree with Bernard's
> I've always thought the happy endings on most 'broken token' songs were a bit far fetched...!

is Jim Morrison, who has written an excellent alternative ending to Jinnie on the Moor in which she tells the bloke where to go.

Richard


13 Jan 11 - 06:15 PM (#3073990)
Subject: RE: lets rewrite folksongs with happy ending
From: Seamus Kennedy

She left her father's castle gate,
She left her own true lover,
She left her servants and estate
To follow the gypsy rover.

Her father said "I'm glad she's gone;
I don't have to support her;
So I'll drink a health to the gypsy lad
With a pint of the finest porter."


13 Jan 11 - 06:38 PM (#3074006)
Subject: RE: lets rewrite folksongs with happy ending
From: Steve Gardham

Frankie fired the pistol
Johnny just cried 'Gee thanks!
Thank God when I loaded that 44,
I only loaded with blanks!'


14 Jan 11 - 04:12 AM (#3074229)
Subject: RE: lets rewrite folksongs with happy ending
From: Darowyn

"Slack your rope, hangman, slack it for a while"
"Ok, off you go then!"


14 Jan 11 - 07:14 AM (#3074325)
Subject: RE: lets rewrite folksongs with happy ending
From: Bernard

A holiday, a holiday,
And the first one of the year
Little Matty Groves stayed in bed...


14 Jan 11 - 07:24 AM (#3074327)
Subject: RE: lets rewrite folksongs with happy ending
From: theleveller

A holiday, a holiday,
And the first one of the year
Little Matty Groves took a coach to Blackpool
To ride the Big Dipper there


14 Jan 11 - 08:28 AM (#3074357)
Subject: RE: lets rewrite folksongs with happy ending
From: Rob Naylor

At the age of fourteen, he was a married man
At the age of fifteen, the father of a son
At the age of sixteen, he inherited his estate
And was rich as he continued his growing


14 Jan 11 - 08:31 AM (#3074363)
Subject: RE: lets rewrite folksongs with happy ending
From: GUEST,Alan whittle

Jessie James was a lad, who had a ladies name
He never did anyone no harm
Even his straight friends were forced to admit
Young Jessie had a certain charm.


14 Jan 11 - 08:39 AM (#3074371)
Subject: RE: lets rewrite folksongs with happy ending
From: theleveller

Jack Orion was a crap fiddler
So they put the telly on instead.


14 Jan 11 - 08:46 AM (#3074374)
Subject: RE: lets rewrite folksongs with happy ending
From: theleveller

One evening fair I took the air
Down by blackwaterside
'twas gazing all around me
When the irish lad I spied

All through the first part of that night
We did lie in sport and play,
When this young man arose and put on his clothes
Saying, "I'll back in an hour with some Viagra".


14 Jan 11 - 09:24 AM (#3074399)
Subject: RE: lets rewrite folksongs with happy ending
From: GUEST,interloper

Ye highlands and ye lowlands
O where ha' ye been?
To tea wi' Lady Moray
An we laid her on the green!


14 Jan 11 - 11:46 AM (#3074487)
Subject: RE: lets rewrite folksongs with happy ending
From: Cool Beans

When I was a boy and Old Shep was a pup
Over hills and valleys we'd roam,
Just a boy and his dog, we were both full of fun.
He's now 20 and with me at home.


14 Jan 11 - 11:54 AM (#3074492)
Subject: RE: lets rewrite folksongs with happy ending
From: GUEST,EllenV

... and the poor fellow from The Band Played Waltzing Matilda danced down the gangplank when he got home.

Actually, no. That would totally ruin it.


14 Jan 11 - 12:09 PM (#3074507)
Subject: RE: lets rewrite folksongs with happy ending
From: Bernard

There's the oft mis-sung line from Hughie Jones' 'Ellan Vanin Tragedy'...

At one a.m. in Ramsey Bay
Captain Tear was heard to say
Our contract says 'Deliver the mail'
In this rough weather we must not sail (fail)

The song would never have been written but for that one letter!


14 Jan 11 - 01:34 PM (#3074583)
Subject: RE: lets rewrite folksongs with happy ending
From: GUEST,Grishka

Speaking of Waltzing M.:
Up jumped the swagman and plunged into the billabong,
"You didn't guess I can swim," cried he
And he sang as he balanced his swag across the billabong,
"You'll ne'er come waltzing matilda with me."


14 Jan 11 - 08:14 PM (#3074820)
Subject: RE: lets rewrite folksongs with happy ending
From: EllenV

@Grishka: now that IS an improvement.


14 Jan 11 - 08:35 PM (#3074833)
Subject: RE: lets rewrite folksongs with happy ending
From: Taconicus

Sae rantinly, sae wantonly,
And sae dauntonly gaed he.
He played a tune and he danced aroon'
Then went off for some crumpets and tea.


14 Jan 11 - 08:48 PM (#3074844)
Subject: RE: lets rewrite folksongs with happy ending
From: EllenV

@Taconius: fully awesome.