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23 Jan 11 - 07:14 AM (#3080539) Subject: Lyr Add: I found an old stocking From: Ged Fox I learnt this song from someone who was there in the early seventies. He sang it the tune of "On Top of Old Smokey" I've not seen this version elsewhere, (except that I printed it in a song collection in 1991,) although there is a similar version in a "Down in the Valley" thread. I found an old stocking and filled it with lead I hit an old lady right over the head. A policeman approached me and asked me my name I gave him the answer with a bicycle chain The judge said "Sit down, boy, and dry up your tears; You're going to Borstal for forty-five years." My mother was crying, my sister was too; My old man was laughing and so were the screws. There were bars on the windows and bars on the doors, And just to be awkward, there were bars on the floors. I counted the moonbeams, I counted the stars; I counted ten thousand Borstal bars. Come home and behave now, my old man said. So I found an old stocking, and filled it with lead. |
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23 Jan 11 - 08:09 AM (#3080567) Subject: RE: Lyr Add: I found an old stocking From: GUEST,Desi C More a parody of the Irish song 21 Years I feel, which lent it's tune to On Top Of old Smokey. Very funny I'll learn this version |
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21 Mar 11 - 10:20 PM (#3118707) Subject: RE: Lyr Add: I found an old stocking From: GUEST Love it, my mum used to sing that to me and my siblings but it was a little different. I had an old stocking, I filled it with lead, I hit an old lady, right over the head. Along came a copper, and he asked me my name, so I gave him the answer, With a bicycle chain. The Judge said "stand up, Son, and dry up your tears, you're going to bostal, six month to a year." There's bars on the ceiling, there's bars on the door, there's bars on the piss pot, and it's nailed to the floor. I counted the moonbeams, and I counted the stars, I counted four thousand, of those bostal bars. If I was the Jailer, and the jailer was me, I'd wake up one morning, and set myself free.
But I'm not the jailer, and the jailer he ain't me, |
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10 Jul 11 - 02:06 PM (#3184943) Subject: RE: Lyr Add: I found an old stocking From: GUEST I found an old stocking And filled it with lead. I hit an old lady, right over the head. Along came a copper, and asked me my name. I gave him the answer, With a bicycle chain. The Judge said "sit down, boy, and dry up your tears. you're going to borstal, for 2 or 3 years."
My mother was crying; my father dropped dead. |
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19 Jan 12 - 04:50 PM (#3293037) Subject: RE: Lyr Add: I found an old stocking From: GUEST The version I used to sing was; I found an old stocking, I filled it with lead I hit an old lady right over the head. Along came a copper and asked me my name I told him ploitley with a bycycle chain. I judge said sit down boy and wipe up your tears Your going to borstal for the term of three years. My mother was crying mysister was too My father was laughing and so was the screw. I counted the moonbeams I counted the stars I counted ten thousand behind borstal bars. I dreamt I was warden and the warden was me I iopened my cell door and set myself free. But I'm not the warden and the wardens not me so here I stay for my term of three. |
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22 Aug 12 - 04:08 PM (#3393749) Subject: RE: Lyr Add: I found an old stocking From: GUEST I found an old stocking I filled it with lead I hit an old lady Right over the head Up came a copper And asked me my name I gave him my answer With a motor bike chain Get up off your knees son Wipe away your tears Coz your going to borstal For a term of 4 years My mother she fainted My sister droped dead My stupid f***ing brother Shoot the judge through the head Ive counted the moonbeams Ive counted the stars Ive counted 4 million Through these f***ing bars There are bars on the windows There are bars on the doors There are bars on the piss pot And its nailed to the floor If I was the jailer And the jailer was me I'd open this borstal And set us all free But Im not the jailer And the jailer aint me So it looks like im counting Till Im f***ing free |
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17 Sep 12 - 04:43 AM (#3406009) Subject: RE: Lyr Add: I found an old stocking From: GUEST,racnipeels I found a old handbag and filled it with lead I hit a old lady Right over the head Along came a copper and asked me my name I have him the answer With a bicycle chain The judge said sit down boy and dry up you're tears You're going to Borstal for two to three years I counted the moombeams I counted the stars I counted ten thousand Of those prison bars If i was the warden and the warden was me I'd wake up one morning and set myself free But im not the warden and the wardens not me so i must remain here at my Liberty A few different versions sung at Crystal Palace from 70s to present. |
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01 Jun 14 - 08:08 AM (#3629500) Subject: RE: Lyr Add: I found an old stocking From: GUEST My older cousin sang it to us when she babysat! I found an old stocking and filled it with lead. I hit an old lady, right over the head.
A copper came over and asked me my name.
The judge said sit down son and wipe away your tears
My mother she fainted, my sister she fell
There's bars on the windows, there's bars on the doors.
I counted the moonbeams, I counted the stars.
So kiss me my darling and say you'll be mine. |
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18 Jul 14 - 06:21 PM (#3643257) Subject: RE: Lyr Add: I found an old stocking From: GUEST,Alex I always heard it as: I found an old stocking and I filled it with lead I slung it right over some old woman's head Along came a copper and asked me my name I gave him my answer with a bicycle chain The judge said stand up, boy, and dry off your years You're going to borstal for twenty odd years My father he fainted; my mother dropped dead My little brother shot the judge In the head. We went to his funeral; we went to his grave Some people threw flowers but we threw grenades. Now I've counted the moonbeams; I've counted the stars I've counted fucking five thousand behind these prison bars Now if I were the jailer and the jailer was me I'd open this prison and set myself free
But I'm not the jailer and the jailer's not me |
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19 Jul 14 - 11:44 AM (#3643419) Subject: RE: Lyr Add: I found an old stocking From: GUEST,leeneia What's funny about hitting an old woman? About attacking a man with a chain - no doubt across the eyes? If these victims were your mother, your brother or neighbor, you'd be furious. This song belongs in the great Garbage Can of Songs Tacitly Agreed to be Forgotten. |
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19 Jul 14 - 06:32 PM (#3643505) Subject: RE: Lyr Add: I found an old stocking From: Rumncoke The version I recall seems to be to a different tune, but runs along similar lines - it begins If I was a young man how angry I'd be I'd make all the newspapers write about me
I'd find an old stocking and fill it with lead |
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23 Jul 14 - 06:54 PM (#3644713) Subject: RE: Lyr Add: I found an old stocking From: GUEST,nwtnsrbbt. The term of punishment meted out in those days was "going to borstal for 6(months) to 2 years"as 6 moths was the shortest time and the usual maximum was 2 years. As max boyce would say: I know; 'cos I was there. |
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11 Oct 14 - 07:12 PM (#3668214) Subject: RE: Lyr Add: I found an old stocking From: GUEST The judge said: "Sit up, boy, and dry off your tears. You're sentenced to Corrigan for twenty-one years." So look down that railroad as far as you can see, And keep right on waving farewell to me. I've counted the lights, dear; I've counted the stars. I've counted the nights, dear, and these cold prison bars. Every night I sleep, dear, not much of a bed. Every morn I wake, dear; I wish I was dead. You know who's guilty; you know it well, I'll die in this jailhouse before I will tell. So go tell the gov'nor your sweet soul, If you can't get a pardon, try and get a parole. So all you young fellas so brave and so true, Don't trust no woman, no matter what you do. Don't trust no woman, no matter what kind. You'll be in the jailhouse; you'll be doing time. Oh Lord, honey dear, I love you true. For twenty-one years - is a mighty long time. Oh, yes it is - I love you true. Oh, Lord. (yodelling) Buckey Jones / Douglas Massachusetts / 12 string Yamaha J guitar 1980. And no teeth - sung at the Goodness Store / Rte 16 / Douglas Mass. |
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01 Nov 14 - 02:38 PM (#3673656) Subject: RE: Lyr Add: I found an old stocking From: GUEST I found an old stocking and filled it with lead I hit an old lady right over the head A copper came to me and asked me my name I gave him the answer with a bicycle chain The judge said don't cry boy and wipe down your tears You're going to borstal for a term of two years My mother was crying my sister was too My father was laughing and so was the screw There's bars on the windows and bars on the doors There's bars on the ceiling and bars on the floors I counted the moonbeams I counted the stars I counted ten thousand of those prison bars If I was the jailer and the jailer was me I'd open the doors now and set myself free
But I'm not the jailer and the jailer's not me |
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22 Feb 17 - 06:01 PM (#3840855) Subject: RE: Lyr Add: I found an old stocking From: GUEST, Eggo My version was from Everthorpe 1965 in St Andrews The judge said step down, boy, and dry up your tears you're going to Borstal for a term of two years
so kiss me, my darling, and say you'll be mine
there's bars on the windows there's bars on the door's
I've done 12 months now I've 12 more to do
the screws did not like it that I could see
I'm a yellow tie discharge so I don't say a word From one who was there! |
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22 Jun 17 - 06:52 PM (#3862412) Subject: RE: Lyr Add: I found an old stocking From: GUEST,Wity Bloody hell I,ve been singing this song usually when driving alone for 40 odd years and have only just thought to Google it for the words We wolves fans used to sing it but never got past the going yo borstal for 2 effin years as the Doog would have scored by then. |
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29 Jun 17 - 06:23 PM (#3863503) Subject: RE: Lyr Add: I found an old stocking From: GUEST,I found a old stocking I filled it with led |
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30 Jun 17 - 02:28 AM (#3863527) Subject: RE: Lyr Add: I found an old stocking From: BobL Rumncoke's recollection is of Sidney Carter's "Mixed-up Old Man". To address Leeniea's point, albeit belatedly, there's no end of comic songs about things that in real life are not funny in the least - unwanted pregnancies, alcohol abuse, industrial accidents, marital infidelity. But people seem happy to laugh at the imaginary misfortunes of a fictional person invented purely for that purpose. |
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14 Sep 18 - 04:43 AM (#3950307) Subject: RE: Lyr Add: I found an old stocking From: GUEST The judge said step down boy and dry up your tears you're going to Borstal for a term of two years so kiss me my darling and say you'll be mine for two years in Borstal is a mighty long time there's bars on the windows there's bars on the door's make sure the piss pot is polished some more I've done 12 months now I've 12 more to do they put me on chokey for slapping a the screw's did not like it that I could see They came after lights out and kicked the shit out of me I'm a yellow tie discharge so I don't say a word So on my last morning I shout "JUST DO YOUR BIRD" From one who was there! |
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11 Mar 21 - 07:51 PM (#4097228) Subject: RE: Lyr Add: I found an old stocking From: GUEST,Tbob I found an old handbag. I filled it with lead. I hit an old woman Right over the head. The copper he stopped me And asked me my name I gave him the answer With a bicycle chain The judge said stand up dear And dry off your tears You re sentenced to mountjoy For the term of 2 years There's bars on the windows There's bars on the door And even your pisspot Is nailed to the floor |
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14 Aug 21 - 02:20 PM (#4116539) Subject: RE: Lyr Add: I found an old stocking From: GUEST How I remember it :- I found an old stocking And filled it with lead And hit an old codger Right over the head The Policeman came running And asked me my name And I replied to him With a Bicycle chain The Judge said sit down son And brush off your tears You're going to Borstal For a couple of years My Mother was crying My Sister was too My Father was laughing And so was the Screw Theres bars on the windows Theres bars on the doors Theres bars on the toilet Thats nailed to the floor |
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01 Aug 23 - 07:32 PM (#4178247) Subject: RE: Lyr Add: I found an old stocking From: GUEST Sorry to Necro a subject, I only ever knew the first verse, slightly different from the rest, of course. I found an old stocking and filled it wi' lead, I 'it an old lady right over the 'ead, A policeman come runnin' an' asked me my name, I gave 'im the answer with a public bog chain. And, yes, that was sung to the tune of "Down in the Valley" . . . |
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03 Aug 23 - 01:45 PM (#4178375) Subject: RE: Lyr Add: I found an old stocking From: and e I had an old stocking, Pg 430, Games, Rhymes, and Wordplay of London Children, by N. G. N. Kelsey, ?Janet E. Alton, and ?J. D. A. Widdowson. 2019. See here: https://www.google.com/books/edition/Games_Rhymes_and_Wordplay_of_London_Chil/3HSKDwAAQBAJ?hl=en&gbpv=1&dq=%22I%20had%20an%20old%20stocking%22&pg=PA430&printsec=frontcover |
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15 Dec 23 - 02:37 AM (#4193591) Subject: RE: Lyr Add: I found an old stocking From: GUEST,one who was there, (keith). i got an old stocking and filled it with lead, i hit an old codger right over the head a copper came running and asked me my name i gave him the answer with a bicycle chain, the judge said look here son dry up your tears your going to prison for more than 3 years, my mother she fainted my father dropped dead, my littlist brother shot the judge in the head. i counted the raindrops i counted the stars i counted ten thousand of those rusty bars, they had bars on the ceilings and bars on the walls, and just for precautions they had bars on the floors. if i was the jailer and the jailer was me, ild wake up in the morning and set myself free, but i aint the jailer and the jailer aint me, so ill wake up in the morning to a cold cup of tea, without sugar mind you? |