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24 Jan 11 - 05:59 AM (#3081263) Subject: NEW!! BBC Award announced! From: Silas BBC have just announced that a new category in the Folk Awards. The Services to Morris Dancing Award. The first recipient of the most prestigious award will be Ex-Beatle Spouse Heather Mills. Whilst Heather has not actually Morris Danced herself, she is pretty sure that she once saw a Morris side from a pub window in happier times when she and Paul were still married, but she definitely once owned a hankie, and the bell in her budgies cage is pretty similar to the ones that she thinks Morris dancers use. When asked by our reporter why Ms Mills was chosen to receive this award, Bob Sherman, controller of BBC Radio 2 said, "Quite frankly, we don't really give a fuck who wins the bleeding award, just as long as it is some-one the public know, it all helps to put bums on seats and anyway, there is a pretty good chance that she will attempt to give a dance demonstration and, with a bit of luck, her leg will drop off, just think of the publicity." We also asked Mike Harding to comment, but all we could get was him holding his head in his hands saying "It's all going horribly wrong" over and over again. |
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24 Jan 11 - 06:14 AM (#3081272) Subject: RE: NEW!! BBC Award announced! From: GUEST,Big Norman Voice Do you have to go down on one knee, to receive the award? |
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24 Jan 11 - 06:48 AM (#3081289) Subject: RE: NEW!! BBC Award announced! From: GUEST,Jim Knowledge I `ad one of those Morris Dancers in my cab the other day. `e was from that Ravensbourne lot, `ankies, bells, pig`s bladder and all. `e said, " Morning Jim. Could you take me to Cecil Sharp `ouse please? We`re gonna get presented with some award and I`ve got to look the business, that`s why I`m dolled up like this". I said, "Well Maurice, you look the real deal to me. Just like you was at "The "Greyhound" at Keston. What`s this award about then?" `e said, "It`s for Services to Humour. We still provide more ammunition for those ponces on radio and t.v. `oo call themselves comedians than any other subject!!" Whaddam I Like?? |
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24 Jan 11 - 10:18 AM (#3081400) Subject: RE: NEW!! BBC Award announced! From: Vic Smith Clearly, I was getting it all wrong…. I was under the impression that the sequence for the BBC Folk Awards was as follows:- A] Think of a category B] Have your panel choose the most suitable recipient C] Make the award. Now I realise that I had got sequence entirely wrong. In fact it is:- A] Think of the winner (Must be a really well-known celebrity for publicity purposes) B] Have your panel think of a suitable category for that celebrity. C] Make the award. Having made that simple deduction, it becomes easy to make suggestions for future winners. Here are the first ones that came to my mind:- *** Best Morris dancer in a stick dance awarded to Mick Jagger for the album "Sticky Fingers" *** Best Performance of a traditional song awarded to Damien Hirst for his rendering of "The Sheep Stealer" based on his encasement of a dead sheep in formaldehyde *** Best Performance of a Sea Shanty awarded to England cricket captain Andrew Strauss for his version of "South Australia". *** Best Performance of a Ballad awarded jointly to Venus Williams and Serena Williams for their version of "The Twa Sisters". *** Best performance of a traditional story awarded to Nick Clegg for his utterly convincing "King of the Liars". *** Best Performance on the Fiddle" awarded to Bob Diamond, the Barclays chief executive for his annual bonus. I'm sure that other users of this forum will be able to make other helpful suggestions… |
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24 Jan 11 - 12:39 PM (#3081492) Subject: RE: NEW!! BBC Award announced! From: Old Vermin "*** Best performance of a traditional story awarded to Nick Clegg for his utterly convincing "King of the Liars"." Mr Smith, sir, will you please not reduce me to helpless laughter. |
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24 Jan 11 - 01:55 PM (#3081540) Subject: RE: NEW!! BBC Award announced! From: The Sandman Best performance of a Teashock, BIFFO[BIG IGNORANT FELLOW FROM OFFALY] FOR THE SONG Waiting for the day we get our pay. |
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24 Jan 11 - 01:56 PM (#3081542) Subject: RE: NEW!! BBC Award announced! From: The Sandman Subject: RE: NEW!! BBC Award announced! From: GUEST,Big Norman Voice - PM Date: 24 Jan 11 - 06:14 AM Do you have to go down on one knee, to receive the award? NO but you have to open your legs, then lie back and think of England |
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31 Jan 11 - 05:20 AM (#3085743) Subject: RE: NEW!! BBC Award announced! From: Vic Smith *** Best Performance of a traditional song awarded to Tracey Emin for her very visual performance of "The Bedmaking". |
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31 Jan 11 - 09:05 AM (#3085830) Subject: RE: NEW!! BBC Award announced! From: Gy Morris man For the promotion of furtherance of folk. Radio Derby. |
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31 Jan 11 - 05:03 PM (#3086138) Subject: RE: NEW!! BBC Award announced! From: GUEST,Alan Whittle Its really bugging you this Donovan business, isn't it Vic? Given the provenance of the BBC - what exactly were you expecting? That they KNOW any folksingers, or folxongs, or folkclubs, or anything about the subject. I really think you need to put this behind you. it will soon be summer and we can all go to festivals and meet our friends. Cheer up! |
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31 Jan 11 - 05:05 PM (#3086141) Subject: RE: NEW!! BBC Award announced! From: GUEST,Alan Whittle You know what these people from California say on telly - you have to let these things go........chill! |
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31 Jan 11 - 05:21 PM (#3086157) Subject: RE: NEW!! BBC Award announced! From: SylviaN Gy Morris Man - just a slight alteration to your "For the promotion of furtherance of folk" award - to be awarded jointly to the Head of BBC Radio East Midlands Region and the Controller of English regions. |
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31 Jan 11 - 06:03 PM (#3086195) Subject: RE: NEW!! BBC Award announced! From: michaelr Am I the only one who finds the Heather Mills "joke" in poor taste? |
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01 Feb 11 - 04:01 AM (#3086436) Subject: RE: NEW!! BBC Award announced! From: nickp I find it bad taste too but that's the thing about the Cat, sometimes you just have to turn a blind eye. |
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01 Feb 11 - 05:16 AM (#3086454) Subject: RE: NEW!! BBC Award announced! From: GUEST,Alan whittle Oh get back in the knife drawer, nickp! Very sharp and witty. |
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01 Feb 11 - 05:24 AM (#3086457) Subject: RE: NEW!! BBC Award announced! From: Silas Bad taste? You ned to get out a bit more |
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01 Feb 11 - 05:49 AM (#3086467) Subject: RE: NEW!! BBC Award announced! From: nickp I didn't say I didn't find it funny (because I do) but I found it in bad taste. I can enjoy bad tastes too. ** grin ** |
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01 Feb 11 - 05:53 AM (#3086472) Subject: RE: NEW!! BBC Award announced! From: jonm "Do you have to go down on one knee, to receive the award?" I thought that was Paul McCartney's sex life for a while! |
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01 Feb 11 - 06:20 AM (#3086491) Subject: RE: NEW!! BBC Award announced! From: Roger the Skiffler I find it a bit odd that they are having the Folk Awards on Monday shunting Paul Jones blues programme from its Monday slot to Wednesday in place of the usual Mike Harding folk programme. RtS |
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01 Feb 11 - 11:33 AM (#3086651) Subject: RE: NEW!! BBC Award announced! From: michaelr And getting out a bit more would do what, relating to this? |
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01 Feb 11 - 11:57 AM (#3086659) Subject: RE: NEW!! BBC Award announced! From: Silas Might stop you being so anal if you saw what REAL bad taste is about. |
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01 Feb 11 - 12:51 PM (#3086682) Subject: RE: NEW!! BBC Award announced! From: michaelr Ever heard the saying "there's no arguing about taste"? It's individual, subjective. Claiming to know REAL from UNREAL just makes you look silly. |
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01 Feb 11 - 12:57 PM (#3086688) Subject: RE: NEW!! BBC Award announced! From: Silas Yep. Now, remind me, who brought the subject of taste up? |
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02 Feb 11 - 08:05 AM (#3087153) Subject: RE: NEW!! BBC Award announced! From: GUEST,Chris Murray I thought there was a rule which says that Show of Hands must win something every year. It doesn't matter what the category is! |
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02 Feb 11 - 08:20 AM (#3087167) Subject: RE: NEW!! BBC Award announced! From: Silas Cue Lizzy... |