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BS: Unanswered Questions?

06 Mar 11 - 09:04 AM (#3108039)
Subject: BS: Unanswered Questions?
From: Mr Happy

When I'm on the PC, I frequently have BBC R4 on in the background.

A programme ad prompted me to ponder what is the answer to the hypothesis of 'Gardeners Question Time' - why do they?

Does anyone know or have examples of similar conundra?


06 Mar 11 - 12:02 PM (#3108137)
Subject: RE: BS: Unanswered Questions?
From: Uncle_DaveO

I have NO idea what that question means, Mr. Happy.


06 Mar 11 - 12:12 PM (#3108145)
Subject: RE: BS: Unanswered Questions?
From: Ebbie

I have LOTS of answers.


They rarely fit, though.


06 Mar 11 - 12:16 PM (#3108151)
Subject: RE: BS: Unanswered Questions?
From: Will Fly

Shouldn't it be "Gardeners Question Thyme" - ?

Always a suspicious herb, IMO.


06 Mar 11 - 12:24 PM (#3108160)
Subject: RE: BS: Unanswered Questions?
From: GUEST, topsie

It only works on the radio; if you check the R4 website it gives the game away - there is an apostrophe.


06 Mar 11 - 12:58 PM (#3108182)
Subject: RE: BS: Unanswered Questions?
From: Mrrzy

Who put the fun in dysfunctional?


06 Mar 11 - 01:00 PM (#3108186)
Subject: RE: BS: Unanswered Questions?
From: Little Hawk

LOL!


07 Mar 11 - 04:27 AM (#3108725)
Subject: RE: BS: Unanswered Questions?
From: Tangledwood

A road sign at the end of my street says "koalas cross here".

So I want to know - are they or do they?


07 Mar 11 - 04:58 AM (#3108745)
Subject: RE: BS: Unanswered Questions?
From: Michael

Not a question it's self but lots of pubs, during the World Cup, had signs saying 'England live here'. My question: How could 11 men live in so many pubs all at once ?

Mike


07 Mar 11 - 05:16 AM (#3108761)
Subject: RE: BS: Unanswered Questions?
From: GUEST,Eliza

On fire doors in UK stores, "This door is alarmed!"


07 Mar 11 - 05:18 AM (#3108762)
Subject: RE: BS: Unanswered Questions?
From: GUEST,Eliza

And the old chestnut, roadsign for drivers approaching Channel ferry:- "Harwich for the continent", and the graffiti, "Dover for the incontinent!"


07 Mar 11 - 05:56 AM (#3108792)
Subject: RE: BS: Unanswered Questions?
From: Mr Happy

........& in the good ol' USA, 'DONT WALK' - Hop, skip, jump, fly ?


07 Mar 11 - 06:51 AM (#3108817)
Subject: RE: BS: Unanswered Questions?
From: GUEST,Patsy

There was an old road safety advert where the old grandfather is taking his young grandson across a pelican crossing. He goes to run across, grandfather holds him back and then he says 'Look the green man's flashing, now you can go' I would have questioned that.


07 Mar 11 - 06:51 AM (#3108818)
Subject: RE: BS: Unanswered Questions?
From: Mr Happy

'Who put the fun in dysfunctional? '

or even in 'Funeral'?

[In which, if you re-arrange the letters - you get 'Real Fun!']


07 Mar 11 - 07:57 AM (#3108852)
Subject: RE: BS: Unanswered Questions?
From: GUEST,Patsy

Danger men at work, what will they do shoot me?


07 Mar 11 - 09:12 AM (#3108884)
Subject: RE: BS: Unanswered Questions?
From: Mr Happy

.....also, 'Slow Men in Road'


07 Mar 11 - 09:27 AM (#3108893)
Subject: RE: BS: Unanswered Questions?
From: SINSULL

Slow Children Crossing



How rude!


07 Mar 11 - 09:42 AM (#3108900)
Subject: RE: BS: Unanswered Questions?
From: Rusty Dobro

Often on my office door: 'Wet floor when cleaning'. A statement of fact or an instruction?


07 Mar 11 - 09:45 AM (#3108904)
Subject: RE: BS: Unanswered Questions?
From: olddude

Who was the first person that said "hmmm I will boil a bunch of cow's hoofs and make a tasty lime green snack called Jell-O"

I wanna dig that guy up and grind up his hoofs

Yuck


07 Mar 11 - 10:09 AM (#3108921)
Subject: RE: BS: Unanswered Questions?
From: Mr Happy

A musical Q - should it be above the line, I wonder?

'Duelling Banjos' = One banjo + one guitar??


07 Mar 11 - 10:31 AM (#3108928)
Subject: RE: BS: Unanswered Questions?
From: GUEST,Dáithí

My favourite driving one is that sign that says "Road works ahead"...I hope it does!
D


07 Mar 11 - 10:50 AM (#3108946)
Subject: RE: BS: Unanswered Questions?
From: GUEST,999

Read about a guy who parked beneath a sign that read: FINE FOR PARKING. He ended up paying the ticket. The judge seemed to find it funny--but not THAT funny.


07 Mar 11 - 03:31 PM (#3109117)
Subject: RE: BS: Unanswered Questions?
From: GUEST, topsie

I like the road sign that says 'Heavy plant crossing'.

There used to be a sign outside Kew station saying:

'Kew Gardens. Bear right outside station.'


07 Mar 11 - 05:20 PM (#3109189)
Subject: RE: BS: Unanswered Questions?
From: Don Firth

The sign originally read:

DANGER ZONE
IMPOUND
PARKED CARS

By the time the clowns got through scratching out letters, it read:

ANGER ZONE
I POUND
PARKED CARS

Don Firth


07 Mar 11 - 07:24 PM (#3109264)
Subject: RE: BS: Unanswered Questions?
From: The Fooles Troupe

When I was a kid and saw the 'Road Plant Ahead' sign, I used to ask, "Do we feed it or water it?"


07 Mar 11 - 07:53 PM (#3109288)
Subject: RE: BS: Unanswered Questions?
From: kendall

There is a sign at an intersection in Wiscasset Maine that says SIGNS ARE NOT ALLOWED AT THIS INTERSECTION.


08 Mar 11 - 08:53 AM (#3109585)
Subject: RE: BS: Unanswered Questions?
From: Michael

Heavy plant crossing = Beware Triffids.

Mike


08 Mar 11 - 08:56 AM (#3109587)
Subject: RE: BS: Unanswered Questions?
From: Michael

And one I think I've posted on a previous thread;
"Bridge Strengthening Works", which is reassuring.

Mike


08 Mar 11 - 11:31 AM (#3109675)
Subject: RE: BS: Unanswered Questions?
From: GUEST,Patsy

Hump in the road.......


08 Mar 11 - 11:41 AM (#3109687)
Subject: RE: BS: Unanswered Questions?
From: katlaughing

I know I've posted it a few years ago, but the one I found funny in New England was NO OUTLET...so I should not expect to use my appliances?LOL Out here we just say DEAD END. (Wonder what a LIVE END would be?)


08 Mar 11 - 12:44 PM (#3109731)
Subject: RE: BS: Unanswered Questions?
From: GUEST,Eliza

In Norfolk I saw two signs which made me laugh. One on a market stall in Aylsham said 'Genuine PVC jackets' (Nice to know the plastic is real) and on coming home, 'Turn right twice'. Normal for Norfolk! There's a small road near me called Nowhere Lane. (You have been warned...)


08 Mar 11 - 06:31 PM (#3109990)
Subject: RE: BS: Unanswered Questions?
From: Little Hawk

There's a small road called Seldom Seen Road near Blind River. I've seen it. Well, only just the entrance to it, mind you...I haven't seen it in its entirety. Same goes for Madonna, although I've seen a good deal more of her, area-wise, than I have of Seldom Seen Road.


08 Mar 11 - 08:38 PM (#3110057)
Subject: RE: BS: Unanswered Questions?
From: GUEST,Jim Dixon, visiting Tucson

Driving on a country road on Veteran's Day, I saw a hand-lettered sign beside the road: "Veterans Thank You."

Well, it's nice of the veterans to thank me, although I haven't done all that much for them, except pay my taxes.


08 Mar 11 - 09:13 PM (#3110070)
Subject: RE: BS: Unanswered Questions?
From: framus

Mr Happy, the tune Duelling Banjoes was written for 2 banjoes, - thank the film makers for your confusion.
In Belfast years ago I spotted a comely wench, dressed appropriately for the Summer, leaning on a very large hoarding while waiting for boyfriend, bus (?). The hoarding read, "Valuable frontage to let".


09 Mar 11 - 12:41 PM (#3110437)
Subject: RE: BS: Unanswered Questions?
From: Songster Bob

"'Duelling Banjos' = One banjo + one guitar?? "

As Framus says, the tune was originally for two banjos -- one five-string and one tenor -- and was entitled* "Mocking Banjo." Don Reno and Arthur Smith played, as I recall.

Bob

* fits right in with the thread -- what was it entitled to?


10 Mar 11 - 05:56 AM (#3110985)
Subject: RE: BS: Unanswered Questions?
From: banjoman

I have always had problems following instructions such as the road sign near us which says "Bend for 1/2 mile" or "Danger Men at Work".
I always tell my passengers to huddle down when passing a local airfield where the sign says "Danger Low Flying Aircraft"
I also questioned the temperament of our local traffic when the council put up notices saying "Traffic Calming Measures in Force"
Now Now little car just calm down


10 Mar 11 - 06:15 AM (#3110994)
Subject: RE: BS: Unanswered Questions?
From: Dave MacKenzie

When travelling across the Forth Road Bridge, I always want to know, why are the winds cross? Is it something I've said?

But the real question which nobody dares to ask is

Why is Mr Happy?

(Sorry John)


10 Mar 11 - 10:22 AM (#3111095)
Subject: RE: BS: Unanswered Questions?
From: Green Man

So, why do Gardeners question time?


11 Mar 11 - 05:36 AM (#3111528)
Subject: RE: BS: Unanswered Questions?
From: Mo the caller

I was sorry when they stopped telling us at the end of GQT that the producer was JoKing.

Along many of our roads you see hand painted signs telling New Potatoes to drive in. I wonder if they do?


11 Mar 11 - 06:11 AM (#3111548)
Subject: RE: BS: Unanswered Questions?
From: jonm

This toilet is out of order. Please use floor below.


11 Mar 11 - 07:02 AM (#3111580)
Subject: RE: BS: Unanswered Questions?
From: Penny S.

I think the Harwich for the continent graffito was Frinton for the incontinent, both being on the same bit of coast, but Frinton being noted for its fresh air and no fun, and elderly occupants.

Penny


17 Mar 11 - 10:16 AM (#3115672)
Subject: RE: BS: Unanswered Questions?
From: Mr Happy

'Along many of our roads you see hand painted signs telling New Potatoes to drive in. I wonder if they do? '

Similarly, signs for 'Free Range Eggs'

Surely it's the birds which are 'free range'!


17 Mar 11 - 10:40 AM (#3115693)
Subject: RE: BS: Unanswered Questions?
From: Dave MacKenzie

The full sign said

'Free Range Eggs Turn Here'