To Thread - Forum Home

The Mudcat Café TM
https://mudcat.org/thread.cfm?threadid=137240
51 messages

BS: Int've map of penis size! Song challeng?

18 Apr 11 - 04:51 PM (#3137679)
Subject: BS: Int've map of dick size! Song challeng?
From: Mrrzy

Africa wins hands down, apparently, closely followed by South America... that heat has to be dissipated, why not the bearer of the penis as well?

Blicky


18 Apr 11 - 05:28 PM (#3137702)
Subject: RE: BS: Int've map of dick size! Song challeng?
From: Smokey.

Hands down?


18 Apr 11 - 05:39 PM (#3137711)
Subject: RE: BS: Int've map of penis size! Song challeng?
From: gnu

Ireland 5" and France 6.3" with Canada 5.5"

Sommat wrong with the aritmetics there. According to my limited sample size of one. And no, it's not a needledick the bug fucker kinda thing. (Yes, intended.) As I am of French and Irish decent (again, intended) I must protest.

Now, if we were talking girth... stand back. To quote Adam, "we don't know how big this thing is gonna get."


18 Apr 11 - 05:43 PM (#3137716)
Subject: RE: BS: Int've map of penis size! Song challeng?
From: frogprince

For $500.00, the question is, "What was the first thing Eve said to Adam?"


18 Apr 11 - 05:46 PM (#3137718)
Subject: RE: BS: Int've map of penis size! Song challeng?
From: Leadfingers

Whwn I looked at the figures I iniyially thought they were in Imperial (Inches) rather than Metric (Centimetres ! Did my Self Esteem NO good at all !


18 Apr 11 - 05:47 PM (#3137719)
Subject: RE: BS: Int've map of penis size! Song challeng?
From: Richard Bridge

So, we're bigger pricks than the Yanks are?

When will they produce similar statistics for tongue length?


18 Apr 11 - 05:51 PM (#3137724)
Subject: RE: BS: Int've map of penis size! Song challeng?
From: GUEST,John MacKenzie

He's got the biggest and the best in Africa
You know it really is a lovely sight,
And when I get to Africa,
I'm gonna take a little bite, each night.

Can't remember the rest, but it's one that Johnny Silvo used to sing.


18 Apr 11 - 06:00 PM (#3137733)
Subject: RE: BS: Int've map of penis size! Song challeng?
From: Lonesome EJ

Seems to lend credence to the rumor that my Grandfather was Venezuelan.


18 Apr 11 - 06:06 PM (#3137736)
Subject: RE: BS: Int've map of penis size! Song challeng?
From: Wesley S

My question Mrrzy is - what motivated you to go looking for this information? Do you have travel plans?


18 Apr 11 - 06:07 PM (#3137737)
Subject: RE: BS: Int've map of penis size! Song challeng?
From: Ed T

But, now that you raise the topic, what is the perfect fit by country?

The loose scale


18 Apr 11 - 06:14 PM (#3137740)
Subject: RE: BS: Int've map of penis size! Song challeng?
From: katlaughing

What I want to know is who went out and measured them all!


18 Apr 11 - 06:19 PM (#3137743)
Subject: RE: BS: Int've map of penis size! Song challeng?
From: Ed T

Mrrzy?


18 Apr 11 - 06:22 PM (#3137745)
Subject: RE: BS: Int've map of penis size! Song challeng?
From: Ed T

That was a question Mrrzy , I'm not saying you held the tape.

I expect guys would easily open their zippers for any person asking to measure their stuff. If they were asked, do you think they would be honest. (Then there is the shrinkage factor).


18 Apr 11 - 08:03 PM (#3137803)
Subject: RE: BS: Int've map of penis size! Song challeng?
From: gnu

Ed... re the vagina logs... it that where the term "loose women" comes from?

Oooohhh... that is wrong on sooo many levels. But, it is a joke so it stands as posted. With apologies.


18 Apr 11 - 08:11 PM (#3137809)
Subject: RE: BS: Int've map of penis size! Song challeng?
From: gnu

Ed..."I expect guys would easily open their zippers for any person asking to measure their stuff."

Speak for yourself! I keep mine in me pants!

Ahhhh... any person... now, when you say "any person", are we talkin blue eyes and big nipples? And a nice smile? With all her teeth?


18 Apr 11 - 09:48 PM (#3137862)
Subject: RE: BS: Int've map of penis size! Song challeng?
From: Joe_F

Once, in a bar, two macho types (the way I first heard it, they were actually Mexicans, with appropriate accents) were boasting that theirs was bigger, and at length one of them pointed at a cat & bet that his was longer than the cat's tail. The bartender produced a ruler & measured the cat's tail. But when he got to the man, "Just a moment", the man protested, "Where did you measure than cat's tail *from*?" "From the asshole." "Well, kindly do me the same favor."


19 Apr 11 - 12:03 AM (#3137914)
Subject: RE: BS: Int've map of penis size! Song challeng?
From: GUEST,Guest from Sanity

froggers: "For $500.00, the question is, "What was the first thing Eve said to Adam?"

Not sure, but the morning after, he asked God, "Is this all I get for a rib??"

GfS


19 Apr 11 - 03:00 AM (#3137992)
Subject: RE: BS: Int've map of penis size! Song challeng?
From: GUEST,Alan Whittle

Call me old fashioned, but as an ex-grammarschool boy. I reckon this is a bit silly. Because temperature has not been factored in. My old physics teacher would have noticed this straightaway.

In africa you could walk around all day with your exposed willy waving like the safari grass that covers the veldt. But what of those in the Arctic circle? perhaps jimmies (the word penis SO confrontational and common!) are phototropic and grow towards the light. What chance does a frozen oojah have - sequestred in darkness and wrapped up in sealskin and blubber and stuff like that.

Also what of motor cyclists on a cold night. As a class of humanity - they would need a scale involving minus numbers.


19 Apr 11 - 04:15 AM (#3138033)
Subject: RE: BS: Int've map of penis size! Song challeng?
From: Georgiansilver

When I went to the Sudan.. this guy came out of the sea with an overly large one.. I couldn't believe my eyes ... He must have seen my amazement and asked "Don't yours shrink when you get in the water man"??


19 Apr 11 - 06:37 AM (#3138100)
Subject: RE: BS: Int've map of penis size! Song challeng?
From: Ed T

It would be interesting to see a comparison of the number of replies, by country, to the penis enlargement spam emails. I suspectthat would be more telling than an unscientific measurement of this type.

(Just wondering, do any countries charge a pole tax)?


19 Apr 11 - 06:59 AM (#3138110)
Subject: RE: BS: Int've map of penis size! Song challeng?
From: GUEST,Eliza

Whatever do you mean, Alan Whittle? Most Africans, I can assure you, wear the same underwear as European men, ie briefs or boxers. Their willies certainly don't wave about in the breeze!! (Quite an erotic idea though...)


19 Apr 11 - 07:07 AM (#3138115)
Subject: RE: BS: Int've map of penis size! Song challeng?
From: GUEST,Alan Whittle

'Their willies certainly don't wave about in the breeze!! (Quite an erotic idea though...)'

Yes I thought so too! I believe it only happens in darkest Africa in the erotogenic zones near the equator.


19 Apr 11 - 07:55 AM (#3138139)
Subject: RE: BS: Int've map of penis size! Song challeng?
From: Ed T

''Their willies certainly don't wave about in the breeze!! ''

If they did, they could be called "steaming willies"?


19 Apr 11 - 08:15 AM (#3138144)
Subject: RE: BS: Int've map of penis size! Song challeng?
From: Dave Hanson

It's no good having a Rolls Royce if you can't drive a Mini.

Dave H


19 Apr 11 - 09:29 AM (#3138178)
Subject: RE: BS: Int've map of penis size! Song challeng?
From: Charley Noble

So what will be the next challenge to underemployed cartographers?

Cheerily,
Charley Noble, underemployed urban geographer


19 Apr 11 - 09:46 AM (#3138196)
Subject: RE: BS: Int've map of penis size! Song challeng?
From: Lox

I thought the stats seemed to show Venezuela, Colombia and Bolivia as the biggest swingers ...

It must be chewing cocaa leaves ...


19 Apr 11 - 09:50 AM (#3138198)
Subject: RE: BS: Int've map of penis size! Song challeng?
From: Ed T

"I thought the stats seemed to show Venezuela, Colombia and Bolivia as the biggest swingers ..."

No wonder Chavas seems to be so cocky.


19 Apr 11 - 10:56 AM (#3138238)
Subject: RE: BS: Int've map of penis size! Song challeng?
From: frogprince

Re the Adam and Eve thing; the routine calls for two characters, one to be the MC and ask the question, and the other to scratch his/her head and then say "That's a hard one".

I figured a good share of the bunch "here" would recognize it.


19 Apr 11 - 11:34 AM (#3138260)
Subject: RE: BS: Int've map of penis size! Song challeng?
From: Mrrzy

No, i didn't go looking for this, I just came back from France and have gotten into the habit of reading the French news... and this just popped up, he he he!

Apparently the data are from people in hospitals - but - does one usually get one's dick measured as part of physical treatments? Or did they sneak around measuring boners at night?


19 Apr 11 - 11:59 AM (#3138270)
Subject: RE: BS: Int've map of penis size! Song challeng?
From: Nigel Parsons

Apparently the data are from people in hospitals - but - does one usually get one's dick measured as part of physical treatments? Or did they sneak around measuring boners at night?
And are the measurements reliable. Loss of blood has a shrinking effect (or at least the converse is true!)


19 Apr 11 - 12:05 PM (#3138271)
Subject: RE: BS: Int've map of penis size! Song challeng?
From: Bill D

selections on the topic from G. Legman's collection of humor


19 Apr 11 - 12:35 PM (#3138293)
Subject: RE: BS: Int've map of penis size! Song challeng?
From: Lizzie Cornish 1

I don't quite know how to tell you Ruler Measuring Boys this, but....it's the size of a Man's Heart that matters, nothing else. :0)


19 Apr 11 - 01:00 PM (#3138304)
Subject: RE: BS: Int've map of penis size! Song challeng?
From: GUEST,John MacKenzie

The heart also keeps working till you die, which is more than can be said for the willie.


19 Apr 11 - 01:25 PM (#3138318)
Subject: RE: BS: Int've map of penis size! Song challeng?
From: Ed T

Wasn't there a Raggae song that went like:

"His hats size small, his thongs size large?"

If not, there should be:)


19 Apr 11 - 01:41 PM (#3138330)
Subject: RE: BS: Int've map of penis size! Song challeng?
From: Smokey.

I was just amazed at how tiny they all were.. But I always liked the adage that men have two main organs, the brain and the penis, but only enough blood to run one at a time.


19 Apr 11 - 03:35 PM (#3138392)
Subject: RE: BS: Int've map of penis size! Song challeng?
From: Ed T

What's the deal with the banana at the top of the BS section? What country is it from?:)


19 Apr 11 - 06:09 PM (#3138486)
Subject: RE: BS: Int've map of penis size! Song challeng?
From: Bill D

It says in wikipedia about bananas "They are grown in at least 107 countries,.."

Presumably, there are various sizes available.


19 Apr 11 - 06:11 PM (#3138487)
Subject: RE: BS: Int've map of penis size! Song challeng?
From: GUEST,999

Gentlemen, it ain`t a banana!


19 Apr 11 - 06:14 PM (#3138491)
Subject: RE: BS: Int've map of penis size! Song challeng?
From: frogprince

"Gentlemen, it ain`t a banana!"

I'm trying to decide whether we should let the ladies know that, or not...


19 Apr 11 - 06:21 PM (#3138496)
Subject: RE: BS: Int've map of penis size! Song challeng?
From: Bill D

When I was a grocery checker many, many years ago, there was a guy who worked there who claimed he could pick girls he wanted to ask for a date by their produce shopping habits.
I never inquired about his success rates....


19 Apr 11 - 06:26 PM (#3138502)
Subject: RE: BS: Int've map of penis size! Song challeng?
From: Ed T

And, there was the case of the shy girl who would only eat bananas side on.


19 Apr 11 - 08:11 PM (#3138543)
Subject: RE: BS: Int've map of penis size! Song challeng?
From: gnu

Giok... "The heart also keeps working till you die, which is more than can be said for the willie."

Hahahahahahaaaaaa!


19 Apr 11 - 08:49 PM (#3138571)
Subject: RE: BS: Int've map of penis size! Song challeng?
From: Joe_F

My mother worked for a while in a respectable girls' boarding school, and she amused me by reporting that the girls there were taught to slice bananas logitudinally & eat them with a spoon. (We were a Freudian family.) It occurred to me, tho, that that had the advantage that you could sprinkle a little cinnamon on the banana before eating it, and I have followed that prissy practice ever since.


19 Apr 11 - 09:41 PM (#3138609)
Subject: RE: BS: Int've map of penis size! Song challeng?
From: GUEST,Bill D

Psychotherapy

"Freud's mystic world of meaning needn't have us mystified
It's really very simple what the psyche tries to hide
A thing's a phallic symbol if it's longer than it's wide
As the Id goes marching on"


20 Apr 11 - 05:04 AM (#3138791)
Subject: RE: BS: Int've map of penis size! Song challeng?
From: GUEST

Motto of the anti Freudian Society.

"A telegraph pole is a telegraph pole, is a telegraph pole."


20 Apr 11 - 10:28 AM (#3138972)
Subject: RE: BS: Int've map of penis size! Song challeng?
From: Mrrzy

Bill to Hillary - close but no cigar!


20 Apr 11 - 12:14 PM (#3139062)
Subject: RE: BS: Int've map of penis size! Song challeng?
From: GUEST,999

It occurred to me, tho, that that had the advantage that you could sprinkle a little cinnamon on the banana before eating it, and I have followed that prissy practice ever since.``


That must burn a bit . . . .


20 Apr 11 - 03:28 PM (#3139169)
Subject: RE: BS: Int've map of penis size! Song challeng?
From: gnu

999... depends what the girlfriend... ahh, nevermind.


20 Apr 11 - 06:24 PM (#3139294)
Subject: RE: BS: Int've map of penis size! Song challeng?
From: Joe_F

You can smoke a symbolic cigar,
You can ride in a long, sexy car,
    But a phallic church steeple,
    To sensible people,
Is stretching the thing rather far.


20 Apr 11 - 06:49 PM (#3139310)
Subject: RE: BS: Int've map of penis size! Song challeng?
From: Ed T

Sneaking down your allyway
Knocking at your door
Thought I had enough
But, I'm back for more....

Open up cinnamon, I want more


20 Apr 11 - 07:08 PM (#3139324)
Subject: RE: BS: Int've map of penis size! Song challeng?
From: Bill D

Joe F... this was known as "Corbin's Last Erection". It was the final building in the administration of Harry Corbin as president of the university.