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04 May 11 - 02:00 PM (#3147880) Subject: Lyr Add: RHYMES [i.e. limericks] (Leslie Sarony) From: Jim Dixon It has been mentioned in several threads that Leslie Sarony wrote a song that contained limericks, but I couldn't find a thread where anyone gave a substantial quote from it, so I decided to give this song its own thread. However, I believe he wrote a sequel; I may add that later. You can hear this song at The Internet Archive: RHYMES Words and music by Leslie Sarony, 1931 As sung by Leslie Sarony, with Jack Hylton's Orchestra, Zonophone 5997 [Side 1 of the record:] I'm just about to hold a competition. It's just a little bright idea of mine. I'm going to write a rhyming composition, And then leave you to add the ending line. I'll sing the whole thing first in case of doubt. The second time, I'll leave the last line out. There was a young lady of Ealing Who woke upside down on the ceiling. She fell on her neck And she shouted, "By heck! It's a very peculiar feeling." (That was a cute little rhyme. Sing us another one, do.) There was a young fellow of Cosham Who took out his false teeth to wash 'em. His wife said, "Oh, Jack, If you don't put them back, La-da, da-da-da, da-da-da, da-ah."1 (That was a cute little rhyme. Sing us another one, do.) There was a young man of Calcutta Who was having a sleep in the gutter. The heat from the sun Burned him up like a bun. La-da, da-da-da, da-da-da, da-ah.2 (That was a cute little rhyme. Sing us another one, do.) There was a young man from Kildare Who was playing at golf on a chair. On the very last stroke, The blessed chair broke. La-da, da-da-da, da-da-da, da-ah.3 [Side 2 of the same record:] My lim'ricks must have met with approbation. The fact you turned me over tells me so. I hope to win still further admiration By giving you a few more that I know; And let me say my motto's always been: I may not be clever but I'm clean! There was a young fellow named Skinner Who once took a girl out to dinner. At a quarter to nine, They sat down to dine. La-da, da-da-da, da-da-da, da-ah.4 (That was a cute little rhyme. Sing us another one, do.) There was a young man of St. Paul's Who once did a turn on the halls. His favourite trick Was to stand on a stick. La-da, da-da-da, da-da-da, da-ah.5 (That was a cute little rhyme. Sing us another one, do.) There was a young man of South Wales Who lived upon fruit juice and snails. When he couldn't get these, He lived upon cheese. La-da, da-da-da, da-da-da, da-ah.6 (That was a cute little rhyme. Sing us another one, do.) There was a young lady of Hitchin Who was scratching her nose in the kitchen. Her mother said, "Rose, Nuts, I suppose. La-da, da-da-da, da-da-da, da-ah."7 (That was a cute little rhyme. Sing us another one, do.) There was a young lady of Gloucester Whose parents thought they had lost 'er, But it came to pass She was found on the grass, La-da, da-da-da, da-da-da, da-ah.8 (That was a cute little rhyme. Sing us another one, do.) There was a young man of Belgrave Who was having a rest in a cave. He said, "I admit I'm a bit of a [twit*], La-da, da-da-da, da-da-da, da-ah."9 [* The word is deliberately muffled in the recording. I suppose it could be "shit."] Possible ending lines, found at various places on the Internet: 1. I'll tread on the buggers and squash 'em. 2. And melted his bollocks like butter. 3. And he finished the game in mid-air. [Yes, I know it's not dirty, but you can make it dirty by changing line 2 to have him doing something different in the chair!] 4. And at twenty to ten it was in 'er. 5. And wiggle around on his balls. 6. From his prick, which he picked with his nails. [Sorry, folks; that's what I found on the Internet.] 7. Line 4 should be: "It's the crabs, I suppose" or "It's the pox, I suppose." Then line 5 would be: "She said, Yes, and those buggers are itchin'" or "You're right, ma; the buggers are itchin'" or "Ballocks! Get on with your stitchin'." And it wouldn't be her "nose" she was scratching! 8. Unknown. 9. I've found limericks that end with "But think of the money I save"—but the first two lines are different! |
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05 May 11 - 06:52 PM (#3148877) Subject: Lyr Add: MORE RHYMES (Leslie Sarony) From: Jim Dixon You can hear this recording at YouTube. This is my transcription: MORE RHYMES Words and music by Leslie Sarony, 1932 As sung by Leslie Sarony, with Jack Hylton & His Orchestra, Imperial 2623, [Side 1 of the record:] I think it needs a little explanation Before I start to sing you some more rhymes. Why more? I always hear the explanation: "I've heard the blessed lot a hundred times" But all the lim'ricks on this disk are new. Listen as I'll sing a few for you: There was a young lady named Ray, Said, "I'll clear out that desk while I may." She said, "Ah! That's better. I found that old letter La-la, la-la-la, la-la-la, la-la."10 (That was a cute little rhyme. Sing us another one, do.) There was a young lady of Pinner Dropped a dynamite pill in the dinner. Her husband retired. When his tonsils backfired, La-la, la-la-la, la-la-la, la-la.11 (That was a cute little rhyme. Sing us another one, do.) There was a young man of Madras, For a fancy-dress ball had a pass. He thought: How exciting To go as a whiting! La-la, la-la-la, la-la-la, la-la."12 (That was a cute little rhyme. Sing us another one, do.) There was a young fellow of Leeds Who swallowed a packet of seeds. The silly young ass Was covered in grass, La-la, la-la-la, la-la-la, la-la.13 (That was a cute little rhyme. Sing us another one, do.) There was a young girl of Tralee Who was chased by a big chimpanzee. She murmured, "How horrid! Pink nose, no forehead! La-la, la-la-la, la-la-la, la-la."14 [Side 2 of the same record:] There once was a giddy young banker Who had tiddlywinks, ...(?), Crown and Anchor. He got all the four(?) From the lady next door, La-la, la-la-la, la-la-la, la-la.15 (That was a cute little rhyme. Sing us another one, do.) There was a young lady named Winnie Who had a pain under her pinnie. The doctor, they say, Only told her today La-la, la-la-la, la-la-la, la-la.16 (That was a cute little rhyme. Sing us another one, do.) There was an old bey of Algiers Who said to harem, "My dears, Though you may think it odd o' me, I've given up chirotomy(?), La-la, la-la-la, la-la-la, la-la."17 (That was a cute little rhyme. Sing us another one, do.) There was a young lady named Trotter Who tried hard to be a pole-squatter. She said, "Dearie me! If I keep drinking tea, La-la, la-la-la, la-la-la, la-la."18 (That was a cute little rhyme. Sing us another one, do.) There was a young fellow named Reg Who was kissing a girl in a hedge, When along came his wife With a big carving knife, La-la, la-la-la, la-la-la, la-la.19 (That was a cute little rhyme. Sing us another one, do.) There was an old fellow named Gandhi Who went in a pub for a shandy. He wafted(?) his cloth To wipe off the froth, And the barmaid said, "Blimey! That's handy!" * Possible ending lines, found at various places on the Internet: 10. Unknown 11. Unknown 12. Unknown 13. And couldn't sit down for the weeds. 14. Unknown 15. Unknown 16. He'd give her relief for one guinea. [OK, I made that up.] 17. [Line 4 should be "I've given up sodomy."] "Tonight there'll be fucking!" (Loud cheers). 18. Unknown 19. And cut off his meat and two veg. |
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02 Apr 13 - 11:19 PM (#3498101) Subject: Lyr Add: RHYMES [limericks] (from Frank Crumit) From: Jim Dixon Here's Frank Crumit's version. Note that all the limericks, except the introductory "clean" one, are different from Sarony's. I don't have any completing lines for limericks 2-8. Your suggestions are welcome. RHYMES As sung by Frank Crumit on "Frank Crumit Returns (1920-1938)" I'm just about to hold a competition. It's just a little bright idea of mine. I'm going to write a rhyming composition, And then leave you to add the ending line. I'll sing the whole thing first in case of doubt. The second time, I'll leave the last line out. 1. Now there was a young lady from Wheeling Who walked upside down on the ceiling. She fell on her neck And she shouted, "By heck, It's a very peculiar feeling!" (That was a cute little rhyme. Sing us another one, do.) All right— 2. There once was a guy from Savannah Who slipped on a peel of banana. He let out a squeak 'Cause his hip sprang a leak. (La-da, da-da-da, da-da-da, da-da.) 3. Mr. Jones is a golfing fanatic, But his game is rather erratic. He's got a bad stance. It's the fault of his pants. (La-da, da-da-da, da-da-da, da-da.) (That was a cute little rhyme. Sing us another one, do.) Very well— 4. There was a young fellow named Sackett Who was in some sort of a racket. He went out for a ride With some friends by his side. (La-da, da-da-da, da-da-da, da-da.) 5. There once was a fellow named Gandhi Who wore the first sheet that was handy. That was all he would wear. If by chance it would tear, (La-da, da-da-da, da-da-da, da-da.) (That was a cute little rhyme. Sing us another one, do.) Quite so! 6. Now this was a fellow from Kansas Whose favorite flower was pansies. He's learning to sew, But his dad doesn't know. (La-da, da-da-da, da-da-da, da-da.) 7. There was a young fellow from Camden Who put on the brakes and he jammed 'em. But it was too late, For along came a freight. (La-da, da-da-da, da-da-da, da-da.) 8. There was a young girl named Melinda Who used to doll up by her window. We would wait ev'ry night, But she'd turn out the light. (La-da, da-da-da, da-da-da, da-da.) |
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08 Jun 15 - 09:08 AM (#3715198) Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Rhymes [i.e. limericks] (Leslie Sarony) From: GUEST "Who had tiddlywinks, ...(?), Crown and Anchor." The second one is Ludo |
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20 Oct 21 - 06:46 AM (#4123589) Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Rhymes [i.e. limericks] (Leslie Sarony) From: Dave Hanson There was a young gaucho called Bruno, Who said shagging is one thing I do know, A woman is fine, A sheep is devine, But a llama is numero uno. Dave H |
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20 Oct 21 - 06:52 AM (#4123591) Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Rhymes [i.e. limericks] (Leslie Sarony) From: Steve Shaw A lovely young lady from Exeter Had all the young lads crane their necks at 'er But one was so brave As to take out and wave The distinguishing mark of his sex at 'er |
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20 Oct 21 - 06:55 AM (#4123593) Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Rhymes [i.e. limericks] (Leslie Sarony) From: Steve Shaw Here's my second favourite (my first favourite is far too disgusting to post): There was a young girl in Australia Who painted her arse with a dahlia The colours were fine The design was divine The aroma, alas, was a failure |
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20 Oct 21 - 07:17 AM (#4123598) Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Rhymes [i.e. limericks] (Leslie Sarony) From: Dave Hanson Not this one Steve. There was a young man from Buckingham, Who stood on the bridge at Upingham, Watching the stunts, Of the cunts in the punts, And the tricks of the pricks who were fucking 'em Dave H |
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20 Oct 21 - 08:04 AM (#4123602) Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Rhymes [i.e. limericks] (Leslie Sarony) From: Steve Shaw Nah. Mine could be construed as a bit racist... |
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20 Oct 21 - 09:36 AM (#4123607) Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Rhymes [i.e. limericks] (Leslie Sarony) From: Georgiansilver Dave Hanson... I know that one as...... There was a young man from Hunts, Who stood on the bridge at Buckingham, Watching the stunts, Of the cunts in the punts, And the tricks of the pricks who were fucking 'em |
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20 Oct 21 - 10:55 AM (#4123611) Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Rhymes [i.e. limericks] (Leslie Sarony) From: Steve Shaw From deep in the crypt at St Giles Came a scream that resounded for miles Said the vicar, Good gracious Did Father Ignatius Forget that the bishop has piles? |
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20 Oct 21 - 02:14 PM (#4123629) Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Rhymes [i.e. limericks] (Leslie Sarony) From: Dave Hanson Nice one Steve. Dave H |
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20 Oct 21 - 05:45 PM (#4123639) Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Rhymes [i.e. limericks] (Leslie Sarony) From: Joe_F Now everyone likes a butch guy. That's a fact that we cannot deny, But between butch and bitch Is such a small switch -- Just the difference between U and I! |
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20 Oct 21 - 06:12 PM (#4123646) Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Rhymes [i.e. limericks] (Leslie Sarony) From: Steve Shaw There was a young lady called Dinah With a music box in her vagina All the boys they had larks To the sweet sound of Bach's Toccata and fugue in D minor |
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22 Oct 21 - 07:05 AM (#4123832) Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Rhymes [i.e. limericks] (Leslie Sarony) From: Georgiansilver One for the British amongst us.... but does it make sense to anyone?? There was a young pastor from Salisbury, Whose manners were quite halisbury scalisbury. He walked around Hampshire, Without any pampshire, Till the Bishop insisted he walisbury. |
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23 Oct 21 - 10:06 PM (#4123959) Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Rhymes [i.e. limericks] (Leslie Sarony) From: Joe_F You can smoke a symbolic cigar, You can ride in a long, sexy car, But a phallic church steeple, To sensible people, Is stretching the thing rather far. |
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25 Oct 21 - 08:38 PM (#4124219) Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Rhymes [i.e. limericks] (Leslie Sarony) From: Joe_F There was once a young lady named Sue Who preferred a stiff drink to a screw, But one leads to the other, And now she's a mother. Let that be a lesson to you. |
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26 Oct 21 - 03:28 AM (#4124231) Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Rhymes [i.e. limericks] (Leslie Sarony) From: GUEST,Mark Assuming GeorgianSilver's question wasn't rhetorical... The confused may find it helpful to research the old name for Salisbury and the abbreviated form of Hampshire, for instance in addressing letters. This site could do with "spoiler" tags... |
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26 Oct 21 - 02:00 PM (#4124259) Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Rhymes [i.e. limericks] (Leslie Sarony) From: Georgiansilver Mary had a little lamb, Was always full of frollicks. She threw it high into the air, And caught it by it's hind legs. Mary had a little lamb, She also had a duck. She put them on the mantleshelf, To see if they would fall. Mary had a little lamb and te midwife fainted. |
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26 Oct 21 - 02:22 PM (#4124260) Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Rhymes [i.e. limericks] (Leslie Sarony) From: Steve Shaw Mary had a little lamb She fed it on Scotch scallops Every time it tried to walk It fell down on its hands and knees |
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26 Oct 21 - 02:30 PM (#4124261) Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Rhymes [i.e. limericks] (Leslie Sarony) From: Steve Shaw Mary had a little lamb It tried to scale a pylon Ten thousand volts went up its arse And now its wool is nylon |
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26 Oct 21 - 03:15 PM (#4124262) Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Rhymes [i.e. limericks] (Leslie Sarony) From: The Sandman Bonzo was a musical dog he played john cage in 4.33 the rest of the score is up to thee |
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26 Oct 21 - 03:34 PM (#4124263) Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Rhymes [i.e. limericks] (Leslie Sarony) From: GUEST,Mark When Mary had a little lamb The doctor was surprised, But when Old McDonald had a farm He couldn't believe his eyes |
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26 Oct 21 - 03:46 PM (#4124264) Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Rhymes [i.e. limericks] (Leslie Sarony) From: Steve Shaw Old McDonald was dyslexic OIOIE |
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26 Oct 21 - 08:14 PM (#4124280) Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Rhymes [i.e. limericks] (Leslie Sarony) From: Georgiansilver Mary had a little bike, The spokes were made of brass. And every time the wheels turned round, The spokes stuck in her legs. |
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26 Oct 21 - 08:18 PM (#4124282) Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Rhymes [i.e. limericks] (Leslie Sarony) From: Georgiansilver Yes Steve Shaw... when Mick and Paddy were doing a crossword.. Mick said to Paddy 'Old MacDonald had one of these.....POaddy said I know that... it's a farm and it's spelt EIEIO. |
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27 Oct 21 - 05:45 AM (#4124299) Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Rhymes [i.e. limericks] (Leslie Sarony) From: GUEST,Jim Knowledge I `ad that Victorian Gold in my cab the other day. `e was taking notes from O`Shaunessy`s Irish Limericks to demonstrate the art in a zooming lecture to the Folk Club in Canterbury. I said," Morning Vic. Where to?" `e said, "Charing Cross Jim please. While I`m `ere, tell me, did you and your band ever use limericks in your repertoire?" I said, "Yeah. We regularly used them in our Christmas Larks night. We asked Tony to write one on one occasion but `e could never get the `ang of it. `e wrote, There was a young man from Bombay, Got stung on the knee by a wasp, `e said That didn`t `urt. I don`t mind `e can do it again if `e likes Well!! We used it anyway" Whaddam I Like?? |
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27 Oct 21 - 07:36 AM (#4124312) Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Rhymes [i.e. limericks] (Leslie Sarony) From: Steve Shaw There was a young man from Japan Who couldn't make limericks scan When asked why this was He said "It's because I always try to get as many syllables into the last line as I can" |
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27 Oct 21 - 02:17 PM (#4124351) Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Rhymes [i.e. limericks] (Leslie Sarony) From: Dave Hanson There was a young sailor called Bates, Who danced the fandango on skates, Till a fall on his cutlass, Rendered him nutless, And practically useless on dates. Dave H |
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27 Oct 21 - 02:27 PM (#4124352) Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Rhymes [i.e. limericks] (Leslie Sarony) From: Georgiansilver There was a young man from Kent, Whose tool was exceedingly bent. To save him some trouble, He bent it in double. But instead of coming he went!! |
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27 Oct 21 - 04:29 PM (#4124363) Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Rhymes [i.e. limericks] (Leslie Sarony) From: Steve Shaw That one is joining my limericks lexicon, Dave. :-) It's a bloody long time ago now, Georgiansilver (late 60s to be precise, Imperial College union bar) and I'm blowed if I can remember the tune, but we often sang that one! |