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21 May 11 - 12:17 AM (#3157928) Subject: BS: Grateful Mom and Sis are alive From: Janie Mom and Annie, who some of you know from Getaways, were in a serious auto accident this afternoon. Both are in hospital with broken bones, and Annie probably has a whopping concussion and facial lacerations, but no internal injuries and no bleeding on the brain. Apparently a driver of a pick-up truck was driving very fast, lost control and crossed the median of a 4 lane highway, hitting Annie's SUV. He died. I am still shaking. Need to focus on being grateful. It is amazing they do not have more serious injuries, much less that they are alive. My Dad just died. Too close to losing my entire family of origin in a short period for comfort. Just had to say it. Hope typing this lets me go to bed cuz I need to head home to WV very early tomorrow. Wasn't even there, but when I close my eyes, trucks are flying through the air at the people I love. Goodnight |
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21 May 11 - 12:38 AM (#3157933) Subject: RE: BS: Grateful Mom and Sis are alive From: maeve Go rest, Janie. Holding up the light for y'all from here. Maeve |
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21 May 11 - 12:53 AM (#3157936) Subject: RE: BS: Grateful Mom and Sis are alive From: katlaughing Deep breaths and rest, as maeve says, Janie. They are being well taken care of, I am sure and will be glad to see you when you get there. Plus, you will feel a whole lot better when you clap eyes on them, both. I *see* lots of Love and a protective Light surrounding them and you. And lots of {{{{HUGS}}}} for you, too. luvyakat |
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21 May 11 - 01:36 AM (#3157942) Subject: RE: Grateful Mom and Sis are alive From: catspaw49 Geez Janie........Tough year so far. May it get better right away and may your Mom and sis do the same. Very Much Love Your Way, Pat |
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21 May 11 - 02:47 AM (#3157956) Subject: RE: Grateful Mom and Sis are alive From: Ebbie Yikes, Janie. What everyone else- including you - said- I hope when you see them that gratitude and hope will drive out the nasties in your imagination. If anyone can cope, it is you. Joining everyone in sending 'surround light'. (You and Annie are two of my favorite inspirations.) |
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21 May 11 - 03:30 AM (#3157967) Subject: RE: Grateful Mom and Sis are alive From: My guru always said Oh Janie, I'm so sorry to hear of your Dad's passing and this terrible Accident. But so glad too that your Mum & Sister are still with us! Candle lit for you & your Folks and also the Driver and his family left behind. Sending positive thoughts, love & hugs, Hil x |
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21 May 11 - 06:07 AM (#3158034) Subject: RE: Grateful Mom and Sis are alive From: Morticia thinking of you and your family |
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21 May 11 - 06:37 AM (#3158048) Subject: RE: Grateful Mom and Sis are alive From: gnu Thoughts and prayers from here too. |
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21 May 11 - 07:00 AM (#3158059) Subject: RE: Grateful Mom and Sis are alive From: ranger1 Oh, Janie! I'll be sending you all warm fuzzies from Maine. Lots of them. Check your PMs. Tami |
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21 May 11 - 07:03 AM (#3158060) Subject: RE: Grateful Mom and Sis are alive From: jacqui.c Hi Darlin' All good thoughts coming from the UK. Please keep us updated, won't you? |
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21 May 11 - 09:20 AM (#3158119) Subject: RE: Grateful Mom and Sis are alive From: Charley Noble Janie- I don't expect you got much sleep last night. I do hope today goes better and that your mother and sister fully recover. Are there more friends and relatives nearby to help? There's probably all sorts of things that need to be tended at your mother and sister's home or homes. Charley Noble |
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21 May 11 - 12:36 PM (#3158210) Subject: RE: Grateful Mom and Sis are alive From: Bill D And you know that we will take good care of Sean...including whatever distractions are required. All possible supportive thoughts winging your way..... |
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21 May 11 - 12:38 PM (#3158211) Subject: RE: Grateful Mom and Sis are alive From: Sandra in Sydney adding my love & good wishes to the stream heading towards you & your mother & sister sandra |
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21 May 11 - 12:52 PM (#3158220) Subject: RE: Grateful Mom and Sis are alive From: Amos Dear gawd, Janie. This is heart-stressing!! Give Annie my affectionate best wishes. Dang, lady!! Sometimes the tribulations of just keeping on are grossly unfair. Hugs to you, angel. A |
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21 May 11 - 01:25 PM (#3158234) Subject: RE: Grateful Mom and Sis are alive From: Rapparee Jeez. I don't know what else to say that hasn't been said. |
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21 May 11 - 02:50 PM (#3158283) Subject: RE: Grateful Mom and Sis are alive From: ChanteyLass I'm keeping all of you in the Light, too. When you have time, please post updates. |
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21 May 11 - 03:26 PM (#3158306) Subject: RE: Grateful Mom and Sis are alive From: GUEST,999 Jesus, Janie. Hold on to the thought that they will be OK. |
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21 May 11 - 08:10 PM (#3158432) Subject: RE: Grateful Mom and Sis are alive From: Mrrzy Wow, yes, glad they got off that lightly indeed! You poor thing, way too much for each of you let alone for you and all of them! Ouch! I will be thinking of you. |
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21 May 11 - 08:59 PM (#3158445) Subject: RE: Grateful Mom and Sis are alive From: ClaireBear Oh Janie dear, I am sorry for your troubles and hope that they will be soon behind you. I wish for your sister and mother quick healing, and for you strength and a measure of joy. Claire |
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21 May 11 - 09:38 PM (#3158459) Subject: RE: Grateful Mom and Sis are alive From: Bobert Glad that Mom and Sis are going to be okay... Sorry to hear about the nutball who caused the crash... Why do we continue to let people drive so poorly... They are everywhere... Much worse here in North Carolina... Like they all have a death wish... Tell 'um ol' hillbilly prayin' fir their speedy recoveries, will ya' Janie??? B~ |
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22 May 11 - 05:32 AM (#3158560) Subject: RE: Grateful Mom and Sis are alive From: ragdall Janie, Sending good thoughts from Canada for you, Mom and Annie. May they heal quickly and thoroughly. Safe travels for you. rags |
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22 May 11 - 05:41 AM (#3158567) Subject: RE: Grateful Mom and Sis are alive From: maeve Good morning Janie, Annie and wonderful mom. We're standing by, watching and waiting. Maeve |
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22 May 11 - 12:21 PM (#3158709) Subject: RE: Grateful Mom and Sis are alive From: Big Mick I know these feelings all too well, beloved friend. I am so grateful for all the love, prayers, and concern sent to me by you and others here, because I now can send some of that loving store your way. That moment when you hear the news is intense and frightening. As I have been admonished by others, I now pass on to you. Be there for them, keep placing one foot in front of the other, and you will make it through although at times it will not feel so. Spend time in reflection on the fragility of life and what you nearly lost. It will be a new color on the palette of you. And most of all, as you are taking care of them, find time to take care of yourself. That is the ultimate act of giving as it gives you the best chance of being there for others. And remember ...... I and many others here love you and are sending our blessings in all the ways that we all use to do that. For me, that is prayer. When she is able, give my Annie a hug from Big Mick, and have her give you one too. All the best, Mick |
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22 May 11 - 12:35 PM (#3158718) Subject: RE: Grateful Mom and Sis are alive From: GUEST,rumanci Thinking of you and them and hoping it helps, too. rum xx |
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22 May 11 - 12:49 PM (#3158723) Subject: RE: Grateful Mom and Sis are alive From: Jeri As Rum said, I'm hoping thinking helps. I'm glad they both survived, with injuries that will heal. |
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22 May 11 - 01:08 PM (#3158733) Subject: RE: Grateful Mom and Sis are alive From: DebC Oh Janie. Please know I am thinking of you, your Mom and your Sister. Deb Cowan |
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22 May 11 - 02:03 PM (#3158771) Subject: RE: Grateful Mom and Sis are alive From: Stilly River Sage Oh my! I just found this thread - Janie, this is not the kind of adrenalin one wants in one's life. Flying pickups are the things of nightmares. I hope you were able to sleep, and when you make that drive, pause for a couple of naps. My best to your mother and sister, and to you. This has been one of those years that we all seem to experience at some point, it's hell to get through, but you eventually will. Take baby steps until you get past all of this turmoil. Here's a big fellow gardener's hug headed your way! SRS |
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23 May 11 - 02:38 AM (#3159002) Subject: RE: Grateful Mom and Sis are alive From: open mike i hope the errant driver had insurance that will cover their medical expenses...best of healing to you all--physical, mental, emotional. condolences on the loss of your dad...hugs to all..Laurel |
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23 May 11 - 07:42 AM (#3159088) Subject: RE: Grateful Mom and Sis are alive From: Janie Thank you friends. Things are slowly getting sorted out. Mom has broken ribs and a broken arm. She will probably be discharged from the hospital today or tomorrow, and one of the angels that helped with Daddy is going to help out once she is home. Annie's injuries are more serious and she will be in the acute care hospital for several more days. Not sure at this point if she will be discharged to home (Mom's) or to a rehab hospital. She will not be able to put any weight on her pelvis or legs for 4-6 weeks. Fortunately she has many good friends in Maryland who have stepped in to take care of her animals, house and mail for the next couple of months, until she is able to return to her own home. Judging from the obituary, the young man who died was well-beloved by his family. We do not yet know that drugs or alcohol were involved. Mom said the truck made no attempt to slow or correct and had wondered if something had happened to the driver - seizure, heart attack or something of that nature. His obituary said his grandfather had died in the very early morning hours of that same day. Maybe he had been up all night and fell asleep at the wheel. Thanks for your support and your continued thoughts and prayers of concern for my family. Janie |
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23 May 11 - 07:49 AM (#3159090) Subject: RE: Grateful Mom and Sis are alive From: maeve Janie- Thank you very much for your carefully written update. My thoughts are with the young man's bereaved family as well as with Annie, your mom, and you. Love to you... as you deal with another example of life occurring and well-loved people living it with grace. Maeve, sending virtual clouds of scented apple petals in the rain. |
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23 May 11 - 08:59 AM (#3159123) Subject: RE: Grateful Mom and Sis are alive From: SINSULL Janie, My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family as well as the other driver's. I know that horror of closing your eyes and reliving a nightmare. Hard to imagine Annie forced to lie still. Harder to imagine her beautiful face cut and bruised. Take care of yourself. You have been through a lot latley. Much love, Mary |
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23 May 11 - 09:03 AM (#3159126) Subject: RE: Grateful Mom and Sis are alive From: MMario Hugs to you and Annie - and a spare for your Mom... |
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23 May 11 - 09:38 AM (#3159139) Subject: RE: Grateful Mom and Sis are alive From: olddude OMG, in my prayers and heart Janie ... please wish them a fast recovery ... OMG ... how scary ... I am so sorry to hear this Love Dan |
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23 May 11 - 11:32 AM (#3159194) Subject: RE: Grateful Mom and Sis are alive From: Nancy King Oh Janie, what a dreadful business for everybody involved. I'm just glad it wasn't even worse. Positive thoughts coming to you, your Mom, and especially to Annie. Nancy |
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23 May 11 - 02:04 PM (#3159256) Subject: RE: Grateful Mom and Sis are alive From: wysiwyg !!!Janie!!! ~S~ |
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23 May 11 - 02:18 PM (#3159262) Subject: RE: Grateful Mom and Sis are alive From: LilyFestre So glad they are going to be ok and that you are going to be with them. (((((((Hugs)))))))))))))) Michelle |
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23 May 11 - 02:57 PM (#3159283) Subject: RE: Grateful Mom and Sis are alive From: fat B****rd My very best regards to you and your family, Janie. I hope any future news is positive. |
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23 May 11 - 03:58 PM (#3159322) Subject: RE: Grateful Mom and Sis are alive From: jacqui.c Love to you all. |
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24 May 11 - 12:15 AM (#3159515) Subject: RE: Grateful Mom and Sis are alive From: ChanteyLass Thank you for your update. I hope you will post other updates. I will continue to keep you and everyone involved in the Light. My personal experiences have taught me that "Life turns on a dime," is not just a cliche. |
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24 May 11 - 05:02 PM (#3159946) Subject: RE: Grateful Mom and Sis are alive From: gnu Ditto... and to think the poor lad may have fallen asleep after tending is Gramps all night... so sad for all. Sniff. |
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25 May 11 - 05:37 AM (#3160213) Subject: RE: Grateful Mom and Sis are alive From: maeve Good morning, Janie, Annie, and "Mom". Our roosters are crowing, and the scents of spring are drifting around outside. We're still hearing spring peepers and tree toads here. Thinking of you all. Maeve |
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25 May 11 - 07:38 AM (#3160258) Subject: RE: Grateful Mom and Sis are alive From: alison more big hugs from down under alison |
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25 May 11 - 08:18 AM (#3160270) Subject: RE: Grateful Mom and Sis are alive From: SINSULL I keep you and yours in my thoughts, Janie. Stay strong - still, again. Smile here - you always do. Love, Mary |
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25 May 11 - 10:26 AM (#3160330) Subject: RE: Grateful Mom and Sis are alive From: GUEST,hg Janie, My thoughts and prayers are with you to have the strength to help your mom and sister through all this. Abby |
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25 May 11 - 10:39 AM (#3160333) Subject: RE: Grateful Mom and Sis are alive From: alanabit Glad to hear your family is safe. We lost a car and came pretty close to losing a lot more last February. I know it shakes you up a bit, but it also gives you a chance to reflect on how much you have. |
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25 May 11 - 10:42 PM (#3160631) Subject: RE: Grateful Mom and Sis are alive From: Kent Davis I will be praying for a quick and thorough recovery for your mother and sister. May you also be blessed in this trying time. Kent |
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26 May 11 - 08:58 AM (#3160793) Subject: RE: Grateful Mom and Sis are alive From: maeve Looking for healing for your family, Janie...and restorative rest for you. |
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26 May 11 - 09:55 PM (#3161137) Subject: RE: Grateful Mom and Sis are alive From: Janie Progress! Annie got moved to the rehab unit today. |
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26 May 11 - 11:05 PM (#3161152) Subject: RE: Grateful Mom and Sis are alive From: ChanteyLass Good news! |
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26 May 11 - 11:29 PM (#3161161) Subject: RE: Grateful Mom and Sis are alive From: katlaughing Excellent! |
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26 May 11 - 11:40 PM (#3161166) Subject: RE: Grateful Mom and Sis are alive From: Stilly River Sage Here's hoping they both progress quickly. So sad to learn the possible cause of the accident, lack of sleep - his family must be doubly suffering right now. No villains here, all victims. SRS |
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27 May 11 - 06:32 AM (#3161190) Subject: RE: Grateful Mom and Sis are alive From: maeve Hurrah for Annie! That will help your mum as well. Maeve |
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27 May 11 - 07:39 AM (#3161215) Subject: RE: Grateful Mom and Sis are alive From: Sandra in Sydney seconding what maeve said sandra |
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27 May 11 - 08:22 AM (#3161232) Subject: RE: Grateful Mom and Sis are alive From: AllisonA(Animaterra) Sending loving, healing thoughts for ALL of you! |
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27 May 11 - 05:45 PM (#3161483) Subject: RE: Grateful Mom and Sis are alive From: Janie Still grateful, but it is sinking in they each still have a long road back. And that I can not be there sufficiently. I feel helpless and am very bothered that I can not offer as much instrumental help as they both need. During Dad's last year, I could not offer as much instrumental help as I wanted to, but Mom and Annie were in positions to cover the bases. I wasn't able to carry my fair share of the load, but between the two of them, they were capable of handling the load without my full participation. We are so truly fortunate as a family to have friends and extended family with a strong sense of commitment and obligation to family. I know that. But the reality is my 73 year old uncle is up from Florida taking care of my 82 year old mother, the lovely friends and neighbors of my mother are all her age or older, my sister is 8 hours away from home, and has no family, though many busy friends there. Although everyone pledges to do whatever is needed for as long as is needed, I don't think anyone realizes how long a haul this may be. I know I am not the only person on Mudcat who has dealt, or is dealing with similar issues. Living several hours away. Older, with dependent children. Numerous job changes late in life that were not anticipated, but are simply the reality of economic changes over the past several years - not just since the crash - which means constant job insecurity as well as limited paid leave. Working two or more jobs to make current ends meet and to try to put back enough to live on when we are no longer able to work or no longer able to find a job - not even thinking in terms of being able to retire. Stretched so thin for so long that resiliency that otherwise would still be there is damaged, making me less effective than I otherwise have the capacity to be. Please don't hear this as a whine. I'm looking to hear how others in similar situations are coming to terms with the realities. |
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27 May 11 - 05:47 PM (#3161485) Subject: RE: Grateful Mom and Sis are alive From: GUEST,999 `Please don't hear this as a whine. I'm looking to hear how others in similar situations are coming to terms with the realities.` The realities come to terms with us, Janie. Keep hangin` tight and tough. |
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27 May 11 - 06:38 PM (#3161515) Subject: RE: Grateful Mom and Sis are alive From: gnu Yup... 999 said it... ya just gotta hang tough as best ya can. We herein can offer lots of that but not much more. If we could, we would, for whatever that is worth. Take care of YOU and yours as best you can. |
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27 May 11 - 07:19 PM (#3161527) Subject: RE: Grateful Mom and Sis are alive From: SINSULL Whine away if you need to Janie. There is no simple solution to your dilemma. Let anyone who offers to help do it. And watch to see where you are needed. Mary |
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27 May 11 - 07:35 PM (#3161532) Subject: RE: Grateful Mom and Sis are alive From: Janie In reading my last post, it may sound like I am primarily concerned about my own financial stability. It isn't that. I am concerned, however, about being able to take care of myself without needing help from family or the government in old age, and to also have the capacity to help out with other family members who are probably going to need help down the road. My fairly common dilemma is I can not cover all the bases I am obligated to cover by love and values in terms of my family. I can't even do it to a "good enough" extent right now. It is a very troubling seat to sit in. Hard choices. |
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27 May 11 - 07:54 PM (#3161542) Subject: RE: Grateful Mom and Sis are alive From: ranger1 Do what you can, Janie. The rest will fall into place. I wish I could send you my five weeks of paid vacation time that I have on the books. And ditto what Mary said - whine away, dearie. That's what we're here for. |
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27 May 11 - 08:08 PM (#3161549) Subject: RE: Grateful Mom and Sis are alive From: DrugCrazed Janie, that post looks nothing like a cry for financial stability. We're all here for you. What's Mudcat for, if not for support in times like these? I wouldn't be here if you lot weren't so friendly and you've been here a lot longer than I have. Vent away - it's what the internet is for. |
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27 May 11 - 09:18 PM (#3161572) Subject: RE: Grateful Mom and Sis are alive From: Nancy King Janie, you have to do what you have to do. Your Mom and Annie are intelligent enough to realize that. No doubt they'd love to have you nearer (as you'd like to be nearer to them), but I expect they'll be happy if you just keep in touch by phone whenever you can. How fortunate that there are other family members and friends to help out. Let 'em do it, and tell them you love them. That's all they'll need. And don't stress yourself out too much! Easier said than done, I know! We're all pulling for you! Love, Nancy |
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27 May 11 - 10:25 PM (#3161586) Subject: RE: Grateful Mom and Sis are alive From: Ron Davies So sorry to hear about this tragedy. .Hope things continue to improve. We on Mudcat will try to be at least a small part of your support network, as best we can. |
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27 May 11 - 10:34 PM (#3161588) Subject: RE: Grateful Mom and Sis are alive From: GUEST,hg Janie (((((((hugs)))))))) I do as much as I can for the people who depend on me and try to keep my mind in the present. I swim for exercise...play music...sleep a lot...looking down the road at the future makes me too anxious to be able to do what I have to do. Your competency takes care of the future;keep your mind out of it. Your best is always good enough.... love hg |
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28 May 11 - 01:53 AM (#3161628) Subject: RE: Grateful Mom and Sis are alive From: GUEST,Tinker I haven't been here much lately .... everyone now home and the to do list longer than the day .... breathe.... I'm holding you all close in love and light.... sometimes when we still our minds of all the things we cannot juggle ... sitting in the palm of our hand is the thing we are meant to hold on to.. Hugs ( and a few shared tears) Tink |
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28 May 11 - 03:02 AM (#3161640) Subject: RE: Grateful Mom and Sis are alive From: ChanteyLass Janie, I have not been in your situation (yet!), but I have seen others go through it. Adult children have moved away for a job or spouse's job; retiring parents have moved away to a community of other retirees, etc. I hope others on Mudcat can give you good advice, especially about services available where they are. I suppose the info is on the internet, but it may not be easy to find. I hope the available services are more than adequate. One discovery may lead to another, and the people who work with your relatives may know how to get the services they need. I will continue to keep you in the Light. |
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28 May 11 - 06:51 AM (#3161684) Subject: RE: Grateful Mom and Sis are alive From: jacqui.c Janie - difficult though it might be, bearing in mind the circumstances of the accident, for everyone's sake please make sure that the Insurers of the pickup truck get full details of a claim against them. Both your mum and Annie will need care over the next few months and a payout from the other insurers can help provide that care, not just for medical bills but to pay for others to do the things that you would like to be available to do. In these circumstances the assistance of a good lawyer is essential. Keeping you all in my thoughts. |
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28 May 11 - 11:30 AM (#3161746) Subject: RE: Grateful Mom and Sis are alive From: catspaw49 Bruce and Harpy hit it square Janie.........The realities do come to terms with us and your best is always good enough.............. Yeah.........If you think otherwise you'll do less simply as a result of depression. Your best, whatever that may be, is all you have to give. Becoming sad or frustrated or depressed because you wish you could do more is counterproductive to giving your best. You're much loved here Janie.............but you knew that.......or didn't you? (:<)) Spaw |
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28 May 11 - 12:38 PM (#3161775) Subject: RE: Grateful Mom and Sis are alive From: olddude I love you Janie, hang in there, you are in my prayers, heart and thoughts always |
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29 May 11 - 06:22 AM (#3162026) Subject: RE: Grateful Mom and Sis are alive From: gnu Just tried to send a PM 4 times and got an error message so... Thanks. |
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29 May 11 - 06:40 AM (#3162029) Subject: RE: Grateful Mom and Sis are alive From: gnu Got an error message posting that post too. Has a clone fixed the problem? I'll try sending this. |
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29 May 11 - 07:02 AM (#3162039) Subject: RE: Grateful Mom and Sis are alive From: maeve Good morning, Janie. |
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29 May 11 - 08:47 PM (#3162362) Subject: RE: Grateful Mom and Sis are alive From: Janie A few folks at the Vandalia Gathering went over to the hospital and played a few tunes for Annie yesterday afternoon. Really lifted her spirits. She is still very beat up, but looking and feeling significantly less bad than when I left here last Monday. |
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29 May 11 - 08:51 PM (#3162364) Subject: RE: Grateful Mom and Sis are alive From: Bill D *smile*...good for her! And for nice folks taking the time. |
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29 May 11 - 09:56 PM (#3162389) Subject: RE: Grateful Mom and Sis are alive From: katlaughing luvyaJanie and thinking of you all with good, healing thoughts. Take care of YOU, please, and don't let guilt at not being able to be there 24/7 creep in. I always thought I'd be the one to take care of our mom when she got too old to be alone, but it just didn't work out. My oldest sister took good care of her in between raising a teenage son, alone, and working full-time. I don't know how she did it and I did feel badly that I couldn't be there to help, but sometimes that's just the way it is. I will always be grateful to her for that and many other things. luvyabuncheskat |
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30 May 11 - 03:03 PM (#3162746) Subject: RE: Grateful Mom and Sis are alive From: SINSULL Thanks for the update Janie. Mary |
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30 May 11 - 03:47 PM (#3162773) Subject: RE: Grateful Mom and Sis are alive From: gnu Ditto SINS. |
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30 May 11 - 03:53 PM (#3162781) Subject: RE: Grateful Mom and Sis are alive From: Waddon Pete Only just picked up on this Janie. Thinking of you all. Take it one day at a time! Life is more manageable that way! Best wishes, Peter |
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30 May 11 - 09:14 PM (#3162876) Subject: RE: Grateful Mom and Sis are alive From: Nancy King "Less bad" is good! Not perfect, of course, but good. I'm still keeping you and Annie and your Mom in my thoughts, and hoping to see both you AND Annie at this year's Getaway! --Nancy |
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31 May 11 - 06:35 AM (#3163011) Subject: RE: Grateful Mom and Sis are alive From: maeve Good morning, Janie, Annie, and marvelous Mom. Maeve |
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31 May 11 - 08:45 PM (#3163417) Subject: RE: Grateful Mom and Sis are alive From: maeve Thinking of you all tonight, Janie. |
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01 Jun 11 - 06:09 PM (#3163930) Subject: RE: Grateful Mom and Sis are alive From: maeve It's June; a time for healing old and new wounds. Love, Maeve |
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01 Jun 11 - 09:25 PM (#3163984) Subject: RE: Grateful Mom and Sis are alive From: Janie Mom and I both teared up when I left there late Monday afternoon. I have to stay in North Carolina this coming weekend for the sake of my son. My uncle will stay as long is is necessary, and we have good help coming in, but that is not the same as having the emotional closeness and support of her daughters. She is a determined and optimistic person and is putting on a brave face, but she is broken of heart and of body right now, and very vulnerable. Her friends, neighbors and church will see to it that meals get brought in as long as is necessary, and that she (as well as Annie when she is released to Mom's) have transportation to doctor and pt appointments. Old bones don't knit quickly. Mom has to try to sleep sitting up in an uncomfortable recliner. (She's a short little thing, only about 5', and recliners don't fit her very well.) She had not been sleeping well starting about a month before Daddy died, and was already exhausted. She is not out of courage, but she is out of physical stamina. Annie is working very, very hard in physical therapy to develop the upper body strength to be able to get out of the rehab unit and to Mom's. The doc's have decided that it is ok for her to use a walker occasionally, to get the bathroom or to otherwise go short distances to be functional inside the house without needing lifting. Mom's house is not conducive to wheelchairs, as we learned with Daddy. No weight allowed on the right leg. The thigh muscles in her left leg are torn or otherwise damaged, so putting weight on the left leg is extremely painful, but allowed. I suspect the pt folks are having to hold her back a little so that she doesn't overdo it and do damage to the upper body muscles and joints. Her short term goal is to get to the place she can do the necessary manuevering with a walker to get in and out of the house and car when necessary, and to the bathroom and back to the bed or the living room, without assistance. Bless her heart. I spent a good part of Monday morning measuring distances, heights of beds and steps, going around with Dad's walker to determine what furniture has to be moved for her to make necessary turns between bed, wall, furniture and doorways to get to essential places without having to expend the extra time and energy involved with navigating tight spaces. She was headed off to a treatment team meeting fully armed with the information needed to tightly focus the therapy for now on what is necessary for her to get out of the hospital and to Mom's. They will both fare better when both are under the same roof again. |
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01 Jun 11 - 10:03 PM (#3164000) Subject: RE: Grateful Mom and Sis are alive From: Bill D wow... what a tedious process to cope with...for everyone. The up side is that it is proceeding and will eventually be better. Sometimes it's hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel, but knowing the tunnel is open helps. We just keep on keeping on, hmmm? |
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01 Jun 11 - 11:50 PM (#3164022) Subject: RE: Grateful Mom and Sis are alive From: katlaughing I understand about recliners and being short, Janie. I used lots and lots of pillows, tucked here and there, when Rog bought me a recliner for convalescing from heart surgery. They just aren't made for short people. Ditto the walker challenge in tight spaces. I found handrails in a couple of strategic places helped when I broke my ankle. I think a walker with wheels would have helped and, now, I see some with little kind of skis which seem to help one glide along easier. You certainly come from strong women stock! I admire the determination, love, and devotion to one another. May healing proceed apace for you all and may Annie and your mom be together as soon as is best for all concerned. You be careful and take care of yourself, too, ya hear?:-) luvyakat |
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02 Jun 11 - 08:38 AM (#3164146) Subject: RE: Grateful Mom and Sis are alive From: jacqui.c What amazing progress in such a short time! Here's hoping that it continues in that way. Love to you all. |
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02 Jun 11 - 09:14 AM (#3164164) Subject: RE: Grateful Mom and Sis are alive From: olddude Anything I can do to help Janie just let me know ok ... Love and Prayers going out to you and your family |
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02 Jun 11 - 09:31 AM (#3164173) Subject: RE: Grateful Mom and Sis are alive From: maeve Good morning, Janie. Thank you for the news. Check your PMs when you have time, eh? Maeve |
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02 Jun 11 - 10:23 AM (#3164197) Subject: RE: Grateful Mom and Sis are alive From: GUEST,hg Hi Janie, Your mom and sister are so lucky to have someone as sensible and sensitive as you. Some things I have found helpful: 19 pound wheelchair, $198. and one thing will be paid by medicare if bought from medical supply company that knows how to bill medicare properly (don't go to walgreens) walkers that are red with a small seat and four wheels, with brakes The CNA study guide for tips on doing CNA stuff (I meant to get my CNA and still will by challenge but haven't had time) ejector recliner for people who can't get out of chair easily centers for independent living or churches can build ramps for not much money or free home modifications can be gotten from local modification programs in some cities for low income (don't know if your mom qualifies but the cutoff is probably about 22,500 per year) meals on wheels and lifeline and free cellphone service temporary ssd ???? and the PIP part of car insurance I realize you probably know about most of this but thought I'd share anyway because I have used a lot of this stuff for clients no offense to anyone who says "take care of yourself" but I find that concrete suggestions and offers of specific help are more useful than the global directive.... love and strength hg |
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02 Jun 11 - 10:28 AM (#3164198) Subject: RE: Grateful Mom and Sis are alive From: GUEST,hg janie one more thing We are about to buy a porta potty and while medial supply companies have the standard one I am going to try out a marine (boat) style potty this weekend. They can go close to the bed as you know, and reduce the possiblity of night time falls. rememeber to call your friends and talk talk talk......love, hg |
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02 Jun 11 - 11:31 AM (#3164213) Subject: RE: Grateful Mom and Sis are alive From: Amos Wishing well and fast healing to the ladies, Janie. Hugs. A |
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02 Jun 11 - 01:24 PM (#3164267) Subject: RE: Grateful Mom and Sis are alive From: Big Mick Janie, when I had to bring my Da home and tube feed him, take care of a stage 4 bedsore on the coccyx, and supervise his physical rehab (his Medicare Part B had runout), while concurrently nursing Mom's PT from the effects of a stroke, Visiting Nurses Association was invaluable. I would strongly suggest you contact them. This wonderful organization sent a case manager once a week, as well as a nurse to assist me with wound care, and a separate PT specialist. It was all covered by insurance and Medicare. Look them up. Be assured that you are in my thoughts and prayers, dear friend. Give Annie my best, please. Mick |
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02 Jun 11 - 02:48 PM (#3164300) Subject: RE: Grateful Mom and Sis are alive From: wysiwyg Your post was an excellent hand-off report, Janie, and the prayer warriors are ON it. ~Susan |
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02 Jun 11 - 03:11 PM (#3164314) Subject: RE: Grateful Mom and Sis are alive From: gnu Ditto jacqui. T&Ps. |
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02 Jun 11 - 09:18 PM (#3164484) Subject: RE: Grateful Mom and Sis are alive From: Janie So grateful for all of you. Thank you Friends. Janie |
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02 Jun 11 - 11:19 PM (#3164522) Subject: RE: Grateful Mom and Sis are alive From: ChanteyLass As a result of personal experiences, I have a lot of respect for physical therapists and occupational therapists. They should be able to suggest what equipment will be needed. Their advice is especially good if they visit your family's residence with them. Due to previous problems for other relatives and me, I already had most of the equipment I needed: commode that could go over the toilet, a shower stool, a walker, crutches, a cane. My condo unit already had a railing on one side (both sides would have been better) to enter the front door and a shower with handheld sprayer as well as the overhead sprayer. I needed cushions to make it possible to get off seats and grips to get in and out of the shower. They suggested other grips and railings, but I managed without them. I was able and willing to crawl and go up and down cellar steps on my bum! What is needed is very individual based on each person's condition and their residence. |
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03 Jun 11 - 05:03 AM (#3164613) Subject: RE: Grateful Mom and Sis are alive From: Sandra in Sydney a lot of good info here to assist anyone with mobility problems. sending more good wishes to the invalids & family members & friends sandra |
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03 Jun 11 - 11:19 AM (#3164730) Subject: RE: Grateful Mom and Sis are alive From: GUEST,hg Good points, chanteyLass. We put in more grab bars around the toilet and also had hand held shower nozzle installed. I use an 8 dollar plastic chair for a shower chair. love, hg |
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03 Jun 11 - 02:59 PM (#3164807) Subject: RE: Grateful Mom and Sis are alive From: Ebbie On behalf of Janie, Annie and Mum: 100. |
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04 Jun 11 - 12:14 AM (#3165012) Subject: RE: Grateful Mom and Sis are alive From: Janie 'o frabjous day callooh callay ' Annie, hard working, courageous Annie, is home at Mom's. Both sound so much lighter in our phone conversations. |
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04 Jun 11 - 03:10 AM (#3165042) Subject: RE: Grateful Mom and Sis are alive From: ChanteyLass Wonderful news! |
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04 Jun 11 - 06:05 AM (#3165086) Subject: RE: Grateful Mom and Sis are alive From: maeve Splendid! And it's typical of you to share the good news. Thanks. |
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04 Jun 11 - 09:50 AM (#3165158) Subject: RE: Grateful Mom and Sis are alive From: Nancy King Hooray for Annie! And love to all of you! |
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04 Jun 11 - 11:17 AM (#3165194) Subject: RE: Grateful Mom and Sis are alive From: katlaughing Yea!!!!! |
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05 Jun 11 - 06:52 AM (#3165403) Subject: RE: Grateful Mom and Sis are alive From: Sandra in Sydney another Yea! or Yah! |
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05 Jun 11 - 06:54 AM (#3165406) Subject: RE: Grateful Mom and Sis are alive From: jacqui.c Wonderful! Together they will heal. |
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05 Jun 11 - 02:02 PM (#3165531) Subject: RE: Grateful Mom and Sis are alive From: SINSULL That is good news, Janie. Your name came up last night over dinner. We are all as concerned about you as Mom and Annie. Take it easy now that they are together and home. Mary |
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06 Jun 11 - 11:30 AM (#3165981) Subject: RE: Grateful Mom and Sis are alive From: Ebbie Keep us informed of their progress, OK, Janie? |
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06 Jun 11 - 12:04 PM (#3166006) Subject: RE: Grateful Mom and Sis are alive From: YorkshireYankee Janie, we've never had any contact (even here on Mudcat, although I have liked what I've seen of your posts), and I am hesitant to post to these kinds of threads when it's someone I don't know and who doesn't know me (maybe that's silly but I guess I'm afraid of seeming not quite sincere or even presumptuous), but I wanted to say I have been checking this thread every time I visit Mudcat, and really feeling for you and your family, especially as I can see you have all been through a lot even before this happened. Anyway, I wanted to say that I have been rooting for Mom and Annie (and you), and really care about what happens. I am sincerely hoping that they recover quickly and that your lives are back to "normal" (good normal!) very soon. I so admire your positive attitude(s) and am sure that will speed healing and recovery. I wish you all good things, and better to come. |
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07 Jun 11 - 05:47 AM (#3166407) Subject: RE: Grateful Mom and Sis are alive From: maeve Thinking of you all on this lovely morning. |
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07 Jun 11 - 09:58 PM (#3166849) Subject: RE: Grateful Mom and Sis are alive From: Kent Davis Great news! I'm praying for y'all. Kent |
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12 Jun 11 - 08:02 PM (#3169589) Subject: RE: Grateful Mom and Sis are alive From: Janie While they both still have a ways to go, Mom and Annie are both feeling sooooo much better than when I was home two weeks ago. Both in much less pain, and more mobile. One thing I have always admired about Annie is her focus and discipline - (a prime reason she is a good musician and I am not.) That trait is serving her well now. She is a bit ahead of the curve in terms of PT, and has such a positive and hopeful attitude. Mom is still a couple of weeks away from starting PT for her arm, but is doing all that she can also. Neither of them are wasting any time on feeling sorry for themselves, and are focusing on rejoicing in progress and the retreat of pain as healing progresses. As the worst of the injuries and initial pain subsides, they are now more aware of other pains and problems that they can't figure out if they were already there, but obscured by more acute physical issues, or if they are just now coming to light. They both still sport an amazing number of technicolor bruises, even three weeks after the accident, but Annie no longer looks like a raccoon! Their biggest immediate struggles now seem to be dealing with the tedious boredom always involved in physical recovery. The legal and financial aspects of this whole affair are going to take a long time to play out. The young man had insurance, but had not added the truck he was driving to the policy. Annie had good uninsured motorist coverage with what is considered high limits for medical expenses, and both Annie and Mom have medical insurance, but it is clear, just from the statements that have come in thus far that the medical expenses for the two of them are going to be astronomical. Even though the other driver was entirely responsible for the accident, Mom and Annie will ultimately be financially responsible for the medical treatment they receive if assorted insurance coverages are not sufficient to cover the full cost. Has me rethinking the medical coverages on my own car insurance for my son and I, which are considered good, but not top of the line. Also has me feeling very grateful that my son has never enjoyed adrenalin rushes or speed, be it on a roller coaster or behind the wheel of a car. One thing that is really weighing on my mother is that she can not offer her condolences to the mother of the young man who caused the accident and died as a result. The attorney has been very clear that none of us can make any contact with his family until such a time as all claims all settled. Mom understands and accepts this. Still, she is so aware there is another mother out there who lost her father and her son in less than a 24 hour period. Dad died just 7 weeks before the accident, and Mom particularly can imagine the depths of grief that other woman must be experiencing. As a family, we also think it likely the family of the young man is having similar thoughts and feelings of wanting to reach out to Mom and Annie. It is only human to want to do so. But stupid to do so. Makes a sad and grievous situation for two families even more so. All of your thoughts, prayers, good wishes, good intentions, care and concern make a difference. I know those of you who post, and those of you who may check in and offer some of the above without posting know that. I say this often because I mean it, and because it has meaning not only to me, but to my loved ones - thank you. I am grateful. |
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12 Jun 11 - 08:07 PM (#3169593) Subject: RE: Grateful Mom and Sis are alive From: SINSULL Such a sad situation, Janie. Says a lot about your Mom, that her focus is on the other driver's family and their loss while she fights every day to recover.Always in my thoughts and prayers. SINS |
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12 Jun 11 - 09:08 PM (#3169623) Subject: RE: Grateful Mom and Sis are alive From: Bill D ♥♥♥ ∞ |
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12 Jun 11 - 10:25 PM (#3169641) Subject: RE: Grateful Mom and Sis are alive From: Janie I should say that Mom, Annie and I had a truly lovely and joyous weekend relishing being together. |
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12 Jun 11 - 11:41 PM (#3169661) Subject: RE: Grateful Mom and Sis are alive From: katlaughing What Sinsull and BillD. said, Janie. You and your family are beautiful people with such compassion. There may come a time when communication will be possible with the other mother. Much love, kat |
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13 Jun 11 - 08:15 AM (#3169811) Subject: RE: Grateful Mom and Sis are alive From: Sandra in Sydney seconding the above love from sandra |
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13 Jun 11 - 03:17 PM (#3170041) Subject: RE: Grateful Mom and Sis are alive From: Big Mick Great update, and a wonderful insight for those who don't know you as to why those of us who do know you love you and Annie so much. (Howzat fer a string of words, Pa??) I check this thread very frequently to know how you are doing. Thanks, my dear one, for keeping us posted. The legal piece is a real quandary and I understand completely. With my daughter's accident I was not even able to reach out to the family of her friend that died in the way I wanted to. It is very sad the state of our legal system. All the best, Mick |
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13 Jun 11 - 04:55 PM (#3170091) Subject: RE: Grateful Mom and Sis are alive From: gnu Ditto Mick. |
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14 Jun 11 - 01:09 AM (#3170255) Subject: RE: Grateful Mom and Sis are alive From: ChanteyLass I hope your mother and sister continue to heal and that legal/insurance matters get sorted out quickly and with no hard feelings between the two families. I will continue to keep all of you in the Light. |
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21 Jun 11 - 11:52 PM (#3174281) Subject: RE: Grateful Mom and Sis are alive From: Janie Brief update. Mom is progressing pretty dadgum good for an 82 year old woman who got badly beaten up just 4 weeks ago. She was able to go to church on Sunday for the first time since the accident, able to tolerate sitting for an hour on a hard pew. Very appreciative of a friend of Daddy's, not a church-goer himself, and not a particularly close mutual friend of Mom's (tho' they liked each other well enough), who called her mid-week and offered to drive her and sit with her if she wanted to go. She wasn't sure at the time, but did not hesitate to call him on Saturday and say she would very much like that. Meant a lot to both of them to have the opportunity to talk together about how much they miss that Old Man. Talking to Annie tonight, she has hit a plateau. Doing OK, and she knew to expect it, but as with any of us in similar circumstances, was also hoping to be the exception to the rule. Also, sounds like she pushed herself a bit too hard and fast, and may also be recovering from that. This busy lady who is normally in constant motion and goal directed activity is also obviously suffering from boredom and enforced inactivity as evidenced by her eagerness for me to get up there this weekend for a fresh face at the scrabble board. Her brain has improved much faster than her body. She is impatient with the pain that is holding her back from greater mobility, but that signals the need for patience lest she undo the slow process of pelvis and leg knitting themselves back together. If she can sit long enough in a car and wheelchair, maybe I can get her out of the house and to the park for a little while this weekend. A change of scenery, if only for a little while, might do her some good if she can manage it. I'll have a better feel for how they are after I get up there this weekend. We all thank you for your continued encouragement and kindness. |
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22 Jun 11 - 01:42 AM (#3174305) Subject: RE: Grateful Mom and Sis are alive From: Ebbie Bless y'alls little hearts. So glad to hear that Mum and Annie are both making progress. Tell Annie that one day she'll look back and the sting of all this will be gone, and she will recognize the itty bitty little steps that permanent healing requires. |
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22 Jun 11 - 04:07 AM (#3174331) Subject: RE: Grateful Mom and Sis are alive From: Sandra in Sydney good report about their conditions, & good advice from Eddie |
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22 Jun 11 - 05:26 AM (#3174374) Subject: RE: Grateful Mom and Sis are alive From: My guru always said Thanks for the update Janie, still sending positive thoughts! |
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22 Jun 11 - 08:55 AM (#3174468) Subject: RE: Grateful Mom and Sis are alive From: SINSULL Two good updates in one morning. Raptor too is recovering slowly but surely. Annie must be so frustrated. Maybe we can get an online Scrabble Game going with her. Someone at work told me that Facebook offers one. SINS |
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22 Jun 11 - 12:06 PM (#3174581) Subject: RE: Grateful Mom and Sis are alive From: Ebbie Online Scrabble? I'd be interested- sounds like fun. |
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22 Jun 11 - 02:12 PM (#3174674) Subject: RE: Grateful Mom and Sis are alive From: gnu Good news overall. I hope it flows even moreso. |
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22 Jun 11 - 11:49 PM (#3174982) Subject: RE: Grateful Mom and Sis are alive From: ChanteyLass Continuing to hope for progress for both--and the ability to accept but persevere when progress seems too slow. |
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22 Jun 11 - 11:56 PM (#3174988) Subject: RE: Grateful Mom and Sis are alive From: Janie Ah, Chantylass. You know better than I possibly can. |
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23 Jun 11 - 10:46 PM (#3175520) Subject: RE: Grateful Mom and Sis are alive From: Ebbie Still grateful. |
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02 Jul 11 - 12:53 AM (#3180105) Subject: RE: Grateful Mom and Sis are alive From: Janie Annie is on crutches and headed home to the Eastern Shore of Maryland via air this weekend! She can't drive for a couple of more weeks, but her dear friends in MD are rallying round to see that her needs are met, and are as eager to have her back among them as she is eager to be back in her own home, to see her beloved cats, play music with her music friends, etc. There is reason to think that with time, PT and diligent self-care and monitoring, she will fully recover in terms of mobility and what she can do in terms of physical activity (climb ladders to clean gutters, hike in the mountains, sit in the car and/or drive for long trips, Kite surf, etc.) As Mom says, Mom is doing well, all things considered. Her cast is off. Her bones are knitting slowly, but they are knitting, and she is hopeful more surgery and bone grafts will not be necessary. We will know about those prospects in another 4 weeks. Any of you who have experienced similar trauma or who have family members who have, know they still have a long road ahead of them to reach their maximum level of functioning, and also know how much it means to be approaching the place where they can function completely independently in terms of activities of daily living, even if leaping tall buildings in a single bound is still a ways off. Optimism and acceptance are powerful allies in the human psyche. |
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02 Jul 11 - 02:54 AM (#3180123) Subject: RE: Grateful Mom and Sis are alive From: Sandra in Sydney good news |
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02 Jul 11 - 10:04 AM (#3180153) Subject: RE: Grateful Mom and Sis are alive From: maeve We're grateful for this cheering news, Janie. Thank you. Maeve |
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02 Jul 11 - 10:23 AM (#3180157) Subject: RE: Grateful Mom and Sis are alive From: katlaughing Incredible and wonderful! Thanks for the update. What strong and positive wimmin you all are. luvyakat |
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02 Jul 11 - 11:54 AM (#3180198) Subject: RE: Grateful Mom and Sis are alive From: gnu Me too! |
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02 Jul 11 - 02:32 PM (#3180294) Subject: RE: Grateful Mom and Sis are alive From: Bill D Progress is a GOOD thing! ☺¢¾☺¢¾☺ |
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02 Jul 11 - 05:46 PM (#3180414) Subject: RE: Grateful Mom and Sis are alive From: SINSULL Good news, Janie. Sounds like the worst of the physical trauma is over. Thanks for the update. M |
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04 Jul 11 - 11:30 PM (#3181565) Subject: RE: Grateful Mom and Sis are alive From: ChanteyLass Good on them! Please let us know when they CAN leap tall buildings in a single bound--or even when they make smaller improvements to their current conditions. |
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05 Jul 11 - 11:55 AM (#3181843) Subject: RE: Grateful Mom and Sis are alive From: Big Mick We need to see to it that DNA from the women in your family is preserved for future generations. If we could create others with the love, compassion, and determination I see in these three women, it might make pretty strong argument for gene manipulation. ***chuckle*** You, Annie and Mom remain in my prayers, friend Janie. All the best, Mick |
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05 Jul 11 - 03:13 PM (#3181973) Subject: RE: Grateful Mom and Sis are alive From: fat B****rd All of the above. Best regards from Charlie. |
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05 Jul 11 - 04:05 PM (#3181994) Subject: RE: Grateful Mom and Sis are alive From: Nancy King Glad to hear things are going well! Thanks for keeping us updated, Janie! Love to all of you, Nancy |