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BS: Chongo cracks the Human code!

25 Jul 11 - 05:17 PM (#3195258)
Subject: BS: Chongo cracks the Human code!
From: Little Hawk

A public announcement from the election office of Chongo Chimp -

Yup, after years and years of tryin' to figure out human beings, Chongo (with the assistance of 40 ounces of scotch) has it all worked out, and in the final analysis...

Humans are f'n nuts!!! That's it in a "nut"shell, and ya can take it to the bank, folks.

This ain't exclusively about the humans who are shocked that the apes and monkeys and other animals they incarcerate aren't filled with gratitude for their cold little steel enclosures and their lousy free meals at the local zoo...

This ain't exclusively about humans wantin' to decorate their walls with animal heads...

This ain't about painted fingernails, shavin', hair spray, Gatorade, Twinkies, TeleTubbies or any of the other "good" stuff that Madison Avenue and WalMart gave us...

This ain't about corn chips... I mean, you can't get drunk on corn chips, can you??? Didn't think so...

Or curling??? What idiot thought that game up?

Or the Indy 500??? Why waste fast cars on dumb races when ya got bank jobs, drive-by shootings, and hot police pursuit to think about?

I mean, yeah, there are a lotta messed up people out there makin' life tough for animals and for the environment, not to mention for themselves!, and so me and the 40 ouncer have come up with a brilliant idea:

Human Re-education Camps!!!

Yessir!!! We get all these damn people up to speed by makin' 'em live in the woods at a subsistence level, growin' and gatherin' their own food for about 6 months to a year and teach 'em how nature really works, and everything messed up will turn into un-messed up...

Damn straight. You heard it from the ape. Just read my lips.

- Chongo Chimp


25 Jul 11 - 05:19 PM (#3195261)
Subject: RE: BS: Chongo cracks the Human code!
From: Donuel

Code Crackers for CHongo
Code Crackers for Chongo

BBBOOOOOOOMMM


25 Jul 11 - 05:24 PM (#3195266)
Subject: RE: BS: Chongo cracks the Human code!
From: Little Hawk

This startling announcement can only lose Chongo votes, but you have to admire his honesty.


25 Jul 11 - 05:28 PM (#3195270)
Subject: RE: BS: Chongo cracks the Human code!
From: gnu

HIS? Is Chongo using using your PC?


25 Jul 11 - 05:32 PM (#3195274)
Subject: RE: BS: Chongo cracks the Human code!
From: Little Hawk

No, but I get his political emails and stuff forwarded to me. Chongo and Dennis Kucinich. I get the latest info from both of them.

So I just blocked and pasted the announcement as I got it from Chongo.

This will delight his core supporters in the APP, American apes and monkeys, but I fear it will lose him at least a few human votes.


25 Jul 11 - 05:38 PM (#3195278)
Subject: RE: BS: Chongo cracks the Human code!
From: Gurney

This from a species who award eminence according to the amount of noise they can make?

Oh. Or is that humans?


25 Jul 11 - 05:40 PM (#3195279)
Subject: RE: BS: Chongo cracks the Human code!
From: gnu

APP? American apes "and monkeys"? Is Chongo... nevermind... he's a chimp... at least, I thought he was... I thought he got pissed at being called a monkey but I could be wrong. I get confused with the story line sometimes.


25 Jul 11 - 05:44 PM (#3195284)
Subject: RE: BS: Chongo cracks the Human code!
From: Little Hawk

Chongo objects to apes being called monkeys. He doesn't object to monkeys being called monkeys, but he would object to them being called apes. He stands in solidarity with apes and monkeys everywhere (aside from a few local gorillas with whom he has had a number of past differences of opinion...to put it mildly). Politically, though, they are on the same page.


25 Jul 11 - 05:55 PM (#3195294)
Subject: RE: BS: Chongo cracks the Human code!
From: Amos

He's a flea-bitten mangy two-bit sorry excuse for a biped is what he is, and his proclivity for inspecting and hurling his own body-wastes kind of disqualifies him for commenting on the refinements of H. sap sap, who at least knows enough to use flush toilets and automatic weapons.


25 Jul 11 - 06:01 PM (#3195299)
Subject: RE: BS: Chongo cracks the Human code!
From: Little Hawk

The vile voice of specism rings out for all to see! Amos, you will be among the first sent to the deep woods for re-education.


25 Jul 11 - 06:05 PM (#3195304)
Subject: RE: BS: Chongo cracks the Human code!
From: Ed T

The hummas code?


25 Jul 11 - 06:18 PM (#3195315)
Subject: RE: BS: Chongo cracks the Human code!
From: Bobert

Too funny...

The most f'n nutz monkey in the world thinks that we huamns is f'n nutz....

Hahahahaha...

(We humans are f'n nuts, Boberdz...)

Ha...

...

B~


25 Jul 11 - 06:28 PM (#3195325)
Subject: RE: BS: Chongo cracks the Human code!
From: catspaw49

Actually the only thing Chongo cracked was the crack of his own ass so he could join his brethren in eating and flinging his own shit...............

Spaw


25 Jul 11 - 06:32 PM (#3195326)
Subject: RE: BS: Chongo cracks the Human code!
From: Bobert

I can attest to the flinging part but never saw him eating any of it, Spawz...

Well, come to think of it some of them bananas did look way past ripe...

Hmmmmm???

B~


25 Jul 11 - 07:22 PM (#3195349)
Subject: RE: BS: Chongo cracks the Human code!
From: Rapparee

What he did to his sister and mother is beyond belief. I mean, pimping your own mother?? That is, to say the least, hardly comme il faut. I mean, it's just not done. Penelope Rutledge wouldn't approve in the least. (Pimping Penelope...what a time for a children's book.)


25 Jul 11 - 10:26 PM (#3195433)
Subject: RE: BS: Chongo cracks the Human code!
From: Rapparee

title, not time.


25 Jul 11 - 10:39 PM (#3195438)
Subject: RE: BS: Chongo cracks the Human code!
From: Donuel

All Chongo Chow and no real meat makes Chongo a dull primate.

IF you want to keep him happy he needs a little genuine human face flesh now and then.

There is a rival to the east. Chingo from China. His growth rate is 15 times that of Chongo.


25 Jul 11 - 11:04 PM (#3195454)
Subject: RE: BS: Chongo cracks the Human code!
From: Donuel

Are you a Christian Chimp who is single and looking for a partner of faith to share a sanctified relationship?

Sometimes we sit back and wait for God to make the next move,
when God says "I ain't yer fukin pimp, bitch, git yer own piece of tail and leave me out of it!"

Christian Chimp Relationships might be your answer.
Go to christianchimps.com to begin a relationship of faith.


25 Jul 11 - 11:24 PM (#3195464)
Subject: RE: BS: Chongo cracks the Human code!
From: Little Hawk

Wha---????????????????????? Christ, I hate to think what Chongo is going to do when he reads some of these bizarre comments and scurrilous allegations. It is not going to be pretty. No sir.


25 Jul 11 - 11:59 PM (#3195487)
Subject: RE: BS: Chongo cracks the Human code!
From: Donuel

We get TV ads for Christianchimps.com all day long.
Its true, well all except for the chimp part.


26 Jul 11 - 12:10 AM (#3195491)
Subject: RE: BS: Chongo cracks the Human code!
From: Little Hawk

Chongo is not a Christian. I think he worships King Kong, sees him kind of like a Christ figure, actually.


26 Jul 11 - 01:01 AM (#3195505)
Subject: RE: BS: Chongo cracks the Human code!
From: Bobert

Gonna take a big ass cross to hang Kong up... I donno...


26 Jul 11 - 03:20 AM (#3195537)
Subject: RE: BS: Chongo cracks the Human code!
From: BrooklynJay

Already done....more or less.

Click here.

Jay


26 Jul 11 - 01:23 PM (#3195930)
Subject: RE: BS: Chongo cracks the Human code!
From: Little Hawk

That's it! That one picture shows in unmistakable symbology the tragic condition of apes worldwide who have been "crucified" on the cross of human exploitation, imprisoned and gaped at by moronic human multitudes, then hounded to their doom by uncaring money-mad promoters who would make Simon Legree look like a nice guy!

And you wonder why Chongo feels the way he does! Shame, I say! SHAME!!!


26 Jul 11 - 06:28 PM (#3196171)
Subject: RE: BS: Chongo cracks the Human code!
From: Ed T

Monkey (AKA Chimp) Hummus code recipe