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BS: Tricks for Intelligent Racoons

14 Aug 11 - 05:28 PM (#3208133)
Subject: BS: Tricks for Intelligent Racoons
From: Big Al Whittle

balancing the economy


14 Aug 11 - 06:03 PM (#3208148)
Subject: RE: BS: Tricks for Intelligent Racoons
From: Little Hawk

Winning the "War on Terror".


14 Aug 11 - 06:06 PM (#3208150)
Subject: RE: BS: Tricks for Intelligent Racoons
From: GUEST,999

Eating with a spoon.


14 Aug 11 - 06:10 PM (#3208153)
Subject: RE: BS: Tricks for Intelligent Racoons
From: Jeri

Playing an F chord with only three fingers.


14 Aug 11 - 06:18 PM (#3208158)
Subject: RE: BS: Tricks for Intelligent Racoons
From: Donuel

Stealing kegs of beer.


14 Aug 11 - 06:27 PM (#3208165)
Subject: RE: BS: Tricks for Intelligent Racoons
From: GUEST,999

. . . and bringing them to 999.


14 Aug 11 - 06:28 PM (#3208166)
Subject: RE: BS: Tricks for Intelligent Racoons
From: GUEST,999

GHell, s/he's already wearing the mask!


14 Aug 11 - 06:37 PM (#3208172)
Subject: RE: BS: Tricks for Intelligent Racoons
From: Greg F.

Eating with a spoon.

Too late- I saw a trained one actually do that once.


17 Aug 11 - 05:52 PM (#3208552)
Subject: RE: BS: Tricks for Intelligent Racoons
From: olddude

Yea but he followed it up with his bowl of cat food. Maybe he committed suicide to avoid the cardiology docs. I miss sitting with the critter he was my buddie although I feel soon enough another will take his place .. got tons of em around here


17 Aug 11 - 06:00 PM (#3208558)
Subject: RE: BS: Tricks for Intelligent Racoons
From: olddude

Now that I think about it, it was not the hot dogs. Right before he got waffled on the road by a car, he sat with me and ate half of my meatball sub. I got the munchies so I went down and got one. The missus was resting cause she was still on chemo at the time. He sat next to me eating the half I gave him like a human holding it with both hands. I probably slowed him down so much that he didn't make it across as fast as he usually did ...


17 Aug 11 - 10:41 PM (#3208216)
Subject: RE: BS: Tricks for Intelligent Racoons
From: gnu

Me too but I wasn't impressed... it was spaghetti.


17 Aug 11 - 10:51 PM (#3208229)
Subject: RE: BS: Tricks for Intelligent Racoons
From: katlaughing

Hand wash all my dishes!:-)


17 Aug 11 - 11:36 PM (#3208260)
Subject: RE: BS: Tricks for Intelligent Racoons
From: Big Al Whittle

I keep seeing racoons everywhere dancing the can can, but the medication started to kick in yesterday snd now they're just pole dancing in a seductive manner..


18 Aug 11 - 01:35 AM (#3208713)
Subject: RE: BS: Tricks for Intelligent Racoons
From: Jack the Sailor

"Playing an F chord with only three fingers."

Raccoons cheat. They just tune to E and barre the first fret.


18 Aug 11 - 06:22 AM (#3208787)
Subject: RE: BS: Tricks for Intelligent Racoons
From: Big Al Whittle

'Raccoons cheat. They just tune to E and barre the first fret. '

Yes indeed, I've never met anyone who would sit down and play cards with a racoon.


18 Aug 11 - 08:58 AM (#3208837)
Subject: RE: BS: Tricks for Intelligent Racoons
From: olddude

A guy brings a raccoon home , tells his wife it's a pet.
She asks , "Where are you going to keep it?"
He repies , "In the bedroom."
"But what about that horrible nasty smell?' , she asks.
"I got used to you , I'm sure he will too!"
------
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To show the raccoon it could be done !!
------

What do you call coons in prison?
Coonvicts

Where do they send coons who have been commited?
The Cooney Ben

What do coons use to wash their fur with?
Coonditioner

What would a drug dealing coon conceal?
Coontraband

What is the name of the Airplane that transports coovicts?
Coonair


18 Aug 11 - 01:22 PM (#3208339)
Subject: RE: BS: Tricks for Intelligent Racoons
From: lefthanded guitar

Do my laundry..........PUHLEASE............I hate laundry, and they're so good at washing things.


18 Aug 11 - 01:51 PM (#3208941)
Subject: RE: BS: Tricks for Intelligent Racoons
From: frogprince

..."horrible, nasty smell"...

Dan, really...you're usually a gentleman, and then your wife leaves for a bit, and the next thing we know you tell one like that....

Dan...Cellar!


18 Aug 11 - 02:17 PM (#3208957)
Subject: RE: BS: Tricks for Intelligent Racoons
From: olddude

LOL


18 Aug 11 - 02:19 PM (#3208960)
Subject: RE: BS: Tricks for Intelligent Racoons
From: olddude

I am use to the cellar frog, Jacqui and Sins throw me down there all the time. Me Kendall and Spaw are use to it


18 Aug 11 - 02:39 PM (#3208402)
Subject: RE: BS: Tricks for Intelligent Racoons
From: Wesley S

Change my strings before every gig and tune my instruments every morning.


18 Aug 11 - 02:55 PM (#3208413)
Subject: RE: BS: Tricks for Intelligent Racoons
From: Little Hawk

Put in the light bulbs on the cathedral ceiling.


18 Aug 11 - 03:23 PM (#3209016)
Subject: RE: BS: Tricks for Intelligent Racoons
From: gnu

Right... diversion tactic...

Women... er... womenz... should be obscene and not heard.

Now! Dan! Make cover. I'll cover joke and hold them off as long as I can.

She asked why we don't make love like they do in the movies... GO DAN! GO NOW!

Nooooo... I ain't gonna tell the rest of that joke... if Dan didn't get to the extraction point, he's just too slow.


18 Aug 11 - 04:59 PM (#3208507)
Subject: RE: BS: Tricks for Intelligent Racoons
From: olddude

Avoid cars on the road when trying to get to the nice guy that gives ya a hot dog every night.


18 Aug 11 - 05:04 PM (#3208510)
Subject: RE: BS: Tricks for Intelligent Racoons
From: gnu

As I know from previous threads and post, the following is okay (I hope).

WHAT? You were feeding the critter hot dogs? EVERY night?

Better to get hit by a vehicle than go thru all the catharic arrest and get nailed on the bypass.


18 Aug 11 - 07:22 PM (#3209142)
Subject: RE: BS: Tricks for Intelligent Racoons
From: Big Al Whittle

'Raccoons cheat.'

Unlike Swans that mate for life. Who knows - perhaps Swans aren't as white as they're painted. Perhaps they sneak around.


18 Aug 11 - 08:27 PM (#3209169)
Subject: RE: BS: Tricks for Intelligent Racoons
From: katlaughing

Dan, your raccoon really got run over? That is so sad. Sorry to hear that.

I know it may seem too PC, but if we're going to use "coon" it'd better if it had an apostrophe, imo...the negative connotations would be less.

Still luvyakat


18 Aug 11 - 09:14 PM (#3209183)
Subject: RE: BS: Tricks for Intelligent Racoons
From: olddude

Never crossed my mind Kat or even gave it a thought. It is just what we call the critters here ... never thought it would or could be taken any other way .. apologize if anyone did.

He really did get run over ... I really miss him also .. He was fun little critter


19 Aug 11 - 12:11 AM (#3209225)
Subject: RE: BS: Tricks for Intelligent Racoons
From: Big Al Whittle

Well who knows perhaps the Hindus are right. Next time he will be reincarnated as a stand up comdedian, or a member of a motorbike formation team.