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20 Dec 11 - 11:16 AM (#3277150) Subject: BS: Chimp expelled from train - no shoes From: Little Hawk A Dutch chimp riding on an English train was wearing no shoes (wooden or otherwise), but had a ticket. The ticket collector ordered him off the train, the chimp refused, and five yobbos from Soho got up and forcibly ejected the chimp from the train! Chimps and other apes and monkeys all over the world are OUTRAGED by this disturbing incident! There is talk of a primate boycott of the UK if an official apology is not issued and full compensation paid to the chimp who was ejected from the train. "We've had enough of this specist crap!" thundered Chongo Chimp at a fundraising event in Chicago. "People try to put us down...talkin' bout my species nation....just because we...get around...talkin' 'bout my species nation! We are gonna raise hell about this until full species equality is an accomplished FACT, not just an empty promise! The Queen is gonna hear from us! We're gonna take this thing right to Buckingham Palace and bring the whole corrupt edifice crashin' down if our legitimate demands for equality are not met!!!!! Chimps have opposable big toes. They don't NEED to wear shoes when they're on a damn English train!" |
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20 Dec 11 - 11:17 AM (#3277152) Subject: RE: BS: Chimp expelled from train - no shoes From: Jack the Sailor Mocking Jackass posts on Mudcat. ;-) |
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20 Dec 11 - 11:19 AM (#3277155) Subject: RE: BS: Chimp expelled from train - no shoes From: Little Hawk Yup. ;-) |
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20 Dec 11 - 01:22 PM (#3277213) Subject: RE: BS: Chimp expelled from train - no shoes From: John MacKenzie Pardon me boy, are you the chimp that left the choo choo? ♫♪ |
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20 Dec 11 - 02:52 PM (#3277249) Subject: RE: BS: Chimp expelled from train - no shoes From: Sandy Mc Lean If you note another currant thread you will see that chimps dance barefoot, and dance very good I might add to a Cape Breton tune, so why in Hell are they being discriminated against? Are there no primate rights? |
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20 Dec 11 - 02:54 PM (#3277251) Subject: RE: BS: Chimp expelled from train - no shoes From: gnu It just ain't right. |
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20 Dec 11 - 02:59 PM (#3277254) Subject: RE: BS: Chimp expelled from train - no shoes From: Little Hawk It's unconscionable. |
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20 Dec 11 - 03:25 PM (#3277283) Subject: RE: BS: Chimp expelled from train - no shoes From: Bill D Chimp uses donkey to chase & eliminate....jackass Chimps using firearms! Where will it lead? |
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20 Dec 11 - 03:34 PM (#3277289) Subject: RE: BS: Chimp expelled from train - no shoes From: John MacKenzie Sawn off gorillas? |
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20 Dec 11 - 03:36 PM (#3277290) Subject: RE: BS: Chimp expelled from train - no shoes From: Rapparee lead? to lead, of course. |
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20 Dec 11 - 03:44 PM (#3277299) Subject: RE: BS: Chimp expelled from train - no shoes From: Ed T "It is not so important to be serious as it is to be serious about the important things. The monkey wears an expression of seriousness which would do credit to any college student, but the monkey is serious because he itches." Robert M. Hutchins |
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20 Dec 11 - 05:33 PM (#3277381) Subject: RE: BS: Chimp expelled from train - no shoes From: Little Hawk Yes! And itches are serious business...as any Dachshund can tell you. (they are much plagued by itches in hard to reach places) |
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20 Dec 11 - 05:46 PM (#3277392) Subject: RE: BS: Chimp expelled from train - no shoes From: Jack the Sailor Primates scratch each other's itches. |
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20 Dec 11 - 05:59 PM (#3277396) Subject: RE: BS: Chimp expelled from train - no shoes From: Rapparee i tried that bit in college. she slapped me and left in a high dudgeon, and her a biology major! |
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20 Dec 11 - 06:12 PM (#3277407) Subject: RE: BS: Chimp expelled from train - no shoes From: gnu Martin is nuts... I like that. Wild and crazy kinda guy. My kinda guy. |
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20 Dec 11 - 08:05 PM (#3277472) Subject: RE: BS: Chimp expelled from train - no shoes From: Ed T ""she slapped me and left in a high dudgeon"" You dated a chimp in college? I am impressed. Tell us more! |
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21 Dec 11 - 01:20 AM (#3277570) Subject: RE: BS: Chimp expelled from train - no shoes From: Little Hawk Few chimps even go to college. Even fewer major in biology. She was probably a bit too cultured to be interested in you, Rap! ;-D |
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21 Dec 11 - 05:27 AM (#3277614) Subject: RE: BS: Chimp expelled from train - no shoes From: John MacKenzie Horticultured? |
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21 Dec 11 - 06:11 AM (#3277625) Subject: RE: BS: Chimp expelled from train - no shoes From: Pete Jennings Hey Rap, if you need a ladder to escape from that high dudgeon I can lend you one... |
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21 Dec 11 - 07:30 AM (#3277645) Subject: RE: BS: Chimp expelled from train - no shoes From: JHW Wouldn't have happened in Hartlepool |
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21 Dec 11 - 09:27 AM (#3277671) Subject: RE: BS: Chimp expelled from train - no shoes From: Ed T ""A small brown beast, spry as a witch and ugly as a gargoyle, was perched on the top of a freight engine when it drew into the station of Greenfield, Mass. As the train stopped, several persons tried to grasp the gargoyle's tail. Annoyed and impudent, he snapped it out of reach and hopped away through the freight yard. When finally captured in the corner of a box car, he was discovered to be a ridiculous hobo monkey who had escaped from a circus and boarded the freight train several towns away."" Miscellany: Hobo, Time Magazine, Feb 11, 2011 Read more: http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,731847,00.html#ixzz1hB7qTrOf Monkey And The Engineer Once upon a time there was an engineer. Drove a locomotive both far and near. Accompanied by a monkey that would sit on a stool Watching everything the engineer would do One day the engineer wanted a bite to eat, He left the monkey sitting on the driver's seat, The monkey pulled the throttle, the locomotive jumped the gun And did 80 miles an hour down the mainline run. Big locomotive right on time, big locomotive coming down the line. Big locomotive No. 99, left the engineer with a worried mind. The engineer called up the dispatcher on the phone, To tell him all about his locomotive was gone. Dispatcher got on the wire, switch operator to the right, Cause the monkey's got the main line sewed up tight. The switch operator got the message on time, Said there's a Northbound livin' on the same main line, Open up the switch I'm gonna let him through the hole, Cause the monkey's got the locomotive under control. Big locomotive right on time, big locomotive coming down the line. Big locomotive No. 99, left the engineer with a worried mind. Gratful Dead sang it, don't know who wrote it http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,731847,00.html |
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21 Dec 11 - 11:22 AM (#3277746) Subject: RE: BS: Chimp expelled from train - no shoes From: Little Hawk "ridiculous hobo monkey"? I've never heard of that breed before. |
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22 Dec 11 - 07:54 AM (#3278285) Subject: RE: BS: Chimp expelled from train - no shoes From: GUEST You haven't, LH? I'm quite surprised. Also known as the "Wandering Woody," these primates were once found in abundance riding in boxcars playing small guitars. I understand the song, "Chongo's Lullabye" is a tribute to this unique (and dwindling) breed, but when I last looked it was not in the DT. And they almost never wear shoes. Jay |
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22 Dec 11 - 07:59 AM (#3278288) Subject: RE: BS: Chimp expelled from train - no shoes From: BrooklynJay Post above was me - strangely cookie-less as I did not log out. |
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23 Dec 11 - 12:11 AM (#3278766) Subject: RE: BS: Chimp expelled from train - no shoes From: Little Hawk Thanks for that wonderful bit of American, BrooklynJay. It will be recorded in "The Chongo Chronicles", a 6-volume set that will soon be coming out and is most certainly destined for a longstanding place on the New York Times Bestseller list. |
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23 Dec 11 - 11:58 PM (#3279231) Subject: RE: BS: Chimp expelled from train - no shoes From: Little Hawk Hey! The "youth expelled from train" has gotten ahead of this one again. We can't have that! |
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24 Dec 11 - 02:05 PM (#3279409) Subject: RE: BS: Chimp expelled from train - no shoes From: Little Hawk This Christmas - Remember to be kind to your neighborhood primates. Give out free bananas. Do not criticize them for not wearing shoes on the train. If you're nice, you won't get bitten. |
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24 Dec 11 - 03:05 PM (#3279432) Subject: RE: BS: Chimp expelled from train - no shoes From: John MacKenzie Release Your Inner Chimp |
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25 Dec 11 - 01:49 AM (#3279610) Subject: RE: BS: Chimp expelled from train - no shoes From: Little Hawk "Chongo Chimp is Coming to Town" Oh, you better not fight You better not f*ck You better fly right Or you're out of luck CHONGO CHIMP IS COMING TO TOWN! He's makin' a list And checkin' it twice He's gonna find out who's Specist or nice CHONGO CHIMP IS COMING TO TOWN! He sees you when you're drinking He knows when you abstain He knows just what you're thinking He can look inside your brain Oh, you better not swear You better not f*ck You better beware Or you're out of luck CHONGO CHIMP IS COMING TO TOWN! CHONGO CHIMP IS COMING TO TOWN! CHONGO CHIMP IS COMING TOOOOOOOO TOOOOOOWWWWWWN! (KREE-GAH!) Ook! Ook! |
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25 Dec 11 - 05:47 AM (#3279647) Subject: RE: BS: Chimp expelled from train - no shoes From: Rusty Dobro Reality check - standards of behaviour are so low on UK public transport these days that the absence of shoes would not get anyone expelled from a train. This chimp was no doubt doing something else that the British newspapers were too considerate and fastidious to report. (This is satire creeping in....) |
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25 Dec 11 - 10:36 AM (#3279721) Subject: RE: BS: Chimp expelled from train - no shoes From: Little Hawk Heh! Heh! You may be right, Rusty Dobro. Thanks for my first good laugh of Christmas. ;-D |