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31 Dec 11 - 10:34 AM (#3282421) Subject: BS: Chongo Chimp: Kidnapper and Terrorist! From: Rapparee SAN FRANCISCO (AP) -- Police are investigating the brazen theft of a beloved squirrel monkey named Banana Sam from the San Francisco Zoo. The 17-year-old primate disappeared late Thursday, and investigators believe someone stole the animal, San Francisco police Sgt. Michael Andraychak said. "It was apparent someone broke into the zoo and deliberately took the animal, we believe somebody has him," Andraychak said. A reward, initially offered at $1,000 for Banana Sam's safe return, has been increased to $5,000 thanks to a pledge from a private donor, zoo spokesman Danny Latham said late Friday. Who else? Poor critter will probably be held for ransom, which will be used to finance Chongo's terrorist "American Primate Party." |
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31 Dec 11 - 11:53 AM (#3282473) Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Chimp: Kidnapper and Terrorist! From: Sandy Mc Lean Perhaps Chongo just freed Banana Sam from a life of being an innocent prisoner in a zoo's cage. Chongo may indeed be his brothers keeper but his concern and empathy for a misfortunate soul is admirable! |
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31 Dec 11 - 01:39 PM (#3282528) Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Chimp: Kidnapper and Terrorist! From: Rapparee I doubt it. Unless there's money in it Chongo's not that giving and caring. He sold both his sister and mother into a Life Of Shame just to cover his debts to certain people and flee from his "mistakes". |
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31 Dec 11 - 02:53 PM (#3282564) Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Chimp: Kidnapper and Terrorist! From: Little Hawk Well, well. Another campaign year in the offing, and the mudslinging has begun! How much did they pay you to spread this bit of slanderous horse puckey, Rap? |
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31 Dec 11 - 02:56 PM (#3282566) Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Chimp: Kidnapper and Terrorist! From: Rapparee So, you admit it's all true! Calling the truth names is a slimy, political trick used to cover up the truth! |
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31 Dec 11 - 03:00 PM (#3282575) Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Chimp: Kidnapper and Terrorist! From: Little Hawk You sir, would not know the truth if it fell off the top of the Empire State Building and landed on your pointy head! (note the clever ape reference) It is ludicrous to suggest that a well respected candidate and staunch defender of the law like Chongo Chimp would break into a zoo and abduct a Squirrel Monkey! HAVE YOU NO SHAME???? |
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31 Dec 11 - 09:38 PM (#3282725) Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Chimp: Kidnapper and Terrorist! From: Rapparee He would if the monkey knew Certain Things that would ruin his reputation and quite possibly land him in jail. |
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01 Jan 12 - 12:50 AM (#3282819) Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Chimp: Kidnapper and Terrorist! From: Little Hawk Ah, the old "if" gambit, huh? I guess you think that scares Chongo, do ya? Think again, Roscoe! There is nothing that can scare Chongo Chimp on New Year's Eve night...he's way too drunk to be scared by anything. |
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01 Jan 12 - 08:34 AM (#3282925) Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Chimp: Kidnapper and Terrorist! From: Rapparee Well, the poor little monkey escaped and has been rescued. Poor thing is frightened to death, hungry, and was apparently subjected to various psychological tortures. We'll know all about it soon enough. Frisco's Finest are on the job...and there's a US $5,000 reward. |
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01 Jan 12 - 11:23 AM (#3282965) Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Chimp: Kidnapper and Terrorist! From: Little Hawk "was apparently subjected to various psychological tortures." They forced it to read old Democratic and Republican campaign literature from the 2008 election! |
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02 Jan 12 - 10:05 AM (#3283401) Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Chimp: Kidnapper and Terrorist! From: Big Al Whittle with thread titles like that, you should be writing right wing headlines for the Daily Mail. |
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02 Jan 12 - 11:50 AM (#3283450) Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Chimp: Kidnapper and Terrorist! From: Little Hawk Or the Toronto Sun. ;-D (Canada's leading fascist rag.) |
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02 Jan 12 - 01:22 PM (#3283520) Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Chimp: Kidnapper and Terrorist! From: Rapparee I see no reason for wasting money and time on a trial. We know he's guilty of it, and if he's not he's guilty of something else just as bad. |
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02 Jan 12 - 02:56 PM (#3283589) Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Chimp: Kidnapper and Terrorist! From: Rapparee Hey, Chong! 3-7-77. |
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03 Jan 12 - 11:44 AM (#3284113) Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Chimp: Kidnapper and Terrorist! From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp I think we need a new shocking headline or two here. How about... Rapparee: Tort Feaser, Malapropist, and Grave Robber! or... Rapparee: Candy-from-a-baby Thief, Raving Gasbag, and Egg-Sucking Hanky-Twister! - Chongo |
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03 Jan 12 - 12:47 PM (#3284148) Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Chimp: Kidnapper and Terrorist! From: Amos Oh, puhleeeeze. CHongo does not deserve to ber dignified with a title like "terrorist". Who could he possibly terrify? He's a common criminal, a family-abandoner, a lost soul in the SIxth Circle ofhis own private hell. HE lacks dignity, has no grace, is unhygienic, unkempt, ill-mannered, brutish, slovenly, crude, ill-tempered, unmannered, and degraded among the beings of this planet. Why would anyone want to waste bandwidth on such a declassée reprobate? A |
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03 Jan 12 - 01:27 PM (#3284184) Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Chimp: Kidnapper and Terrorist! From: Rapparee You;'re right, Amos. I apologize. "Terrorist" is far too good of a title for him. |
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03 Jan 12 - 02:04 PM (#3284213) Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Chimp: Kidnapper and Terrorist! From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp You two are like both ends of a dog that ain't got no head. You follow me? This mutt has an ass at both ends and can pee on both sides of the sidewalk at the same time, but has a hard time keepin' his balance with two hind legs lifted off the ground! Ook! Ook! Yer like the Yin and the Yang of Useless. The Alpha and Omega of Stunned. The man and wife of a marriage between garden slugs. It is a compliment bein' insulted by lowlifes like you, cos it reminds me how much farther my own species has advanced while yers was crawlin' around in the slime. - Chongo |