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BS: Food items one just can't get rid of

01 Mar 12 - 06:45 PM (#3315822)
Subject: BS: Food items one just can't get rid of
From: Bee-dubya-ell

Vanilla wafers beyond the quantity needed to make a banana pudding. You makes your puddin' and the rest of 'em go stale 'cause nobody above the age of seven will eat them by themselves.

Guava jelly. Actually, it doesn't taste bad, it's just that "guava" sounds more like a festering parasitic intestinal condition than a food.

A five-pound bag of grits. Hey, I'm a native southerner and I eat grits. Maybe to the tune of about a pound a year. Five pounds is just de trops. I actually inherited the five-pound bag when one of my kids moved to California. He was afraid to take it with him. I think the consequences of getting caught with five pounds of grits in your car in California are much greater than for getting caught with five pounds of Humboldt County Sensimilla.

Argo corn starch. The only use I have for this stuff is to thicken gravy upon rare occasion. I think we've had the same one-pound box since 1985 and it's only 2/3 gone. It's a race now to see whether the box of corn starch outlives its owners.

Little jars of mustard from Christmas gift baskets. Does anyone really eat that shit?

Anything one buys at the last minute when a hurricane is approaching and the store's shelves are almost empty. Fear of the possibility of going without electricity for weeks can result in a drastic lowering one's culinary standards. A can of Spam can look like a T-bone steak. But once the storm blows over and everything's back to normal, it magically reverts to being nothing but a friggin' can of Spam. Until the next storm comes along.


01 Mar 12 - 07:01 PM (#3315826)
Subject: RE: BS: Food items one just can't get rid of
From: Rapparee

MREs you got just in case that thing about changing centuries turned out the be right and you turned out to be screwed.


01 Mar 12 - 07:10 PM (#3315829)
Subject: RE: BS: Food items one just can't get rid of
From: Bee-dubya-ell

Yeah, we inherited some five-gallon buckets of lentils and soybeans from a friend who moved away. Her parents had bought them during the Y2K scare and, after it turned out to be a false alarm, looked at them and said, "What the fuck are we gonna do with all this shit? We don't even eat this kind of stuff!" So, they gave 'em to Trish, and Trish gave 'em to us, and they sat in our storage shed for a couple of years before going into the compost pile. But, hey, the buckets they came in are very useful.


01 Mar 12 - 07:12 PM (#3315832)
Subject: RE: BS: Food items one just can't get rid of
From: Rapparee

Especially when the power goes out, the well don't work, and you can't use the toilet.


01 Mar 12 - 07:48 PM (#3315849)
Subject: RE: BS: Food items one just can't get rid of
From: kendall

Fruit cake


01 Mar 12 - 08:27 PM (#3315880)
Subject: RE: BS: Food items one just can't get rid of
From: Joe_F

My mother's recipe for cheesecake calls for 1/3 of a box of vanilla wafers, and I have found that for that purpose a box will do for 3 years. (You crumble them with a rolling pin to line the springform.)

Send your fruitcake to me instead of badmouthing it. I will provide the brandy & hardsauce.


01 Mar 12 - 09:36 PM (#3315902)
Subject: RE: BS: Food items one just can't get rid of
From: Rapparee

Pheasant pate. I have a can I bought in France in 1991.


02 Mar 12 - 11:52 AM (#3316141)
Subject: RE: BS: Food items one just can't get rid of
From: GUEST,leeneia

A friend gave me some gray-green dried peas that felt like ball bearings and took as long to cook. I used some as an abrasive and threw the rest out after wasting a lot of electricity trying to get them cooked.

Rap, throw away the pheasant paste.


02 Mar 12 - 12:30 PM (#3316166)
Subject: RE: BS: Food items one just can't get rid of
From: Bert

Ya can use that cornstarch for thickening stir fry or for making custard for trifle, also add it to your fish and chip batter to make it nice and crispy, or for tempura batter for your fried shrimp. A box doesn't last long in our house.


02 Mar 12 - 12:37 PM (#3316172)
Subject: RE: BS: Food items one just can't get rid of
From: GUEST,Eliza

I've heard of grits from the TV, and have always wondered what exactly they are. (Makes me think of the bowl of sharp sand one puts in a budgie's cage, but surely not...!)


02 Mar 12 - 12:42 PM (#3316175)
Subject: RE: BS: Food items one just can't get rid of
From: Bert

Grits are porridge made from chicken feed.


02 Mar 12 - 12:51 PM (#3316180)
Subject: RE: BS: Food items one just can't get rid of
From: Stilly River Sage

Polenta, southern style.


02 Mar 12 - 01:17 PM (#3316194)
Subject: RE: BS: Food items one just can't get rid of
From: Bill D

Grits

They are not too bad drenched in butter and/or something sweet- syrup or jam. Like many foods, if you grow up with them as a regular part of your diet, you know how to prepare and serve them and they seen normal.... but they are a bit ...ummmmm...'heavy' and bland to those approaching them the 1st time.


Can't get rid of? We acquired a can of Hearts of Palm a few years ago....I have no idea why or how, and I have no idea what to do with them.


02 Mar 12 - 02:36 PM (#3316226)
Subject: RE: BS: Food items one just can't get rid of
From: GUEST,Eliza

Well they look quite nice Bill, a bit like porridge. Maize always has a nice nutty flavour. I got a bit greedy just before Christmas and bought a rather-too-large Crimbo pudding. We can't eat it all in one go, and I don't fancy it now anyway. I might sell it at the Spring Fete, if anyone will buy it!


02 Mar 12 - 02:43 PM (#3316231)
Subject: RE: BS: Food items one just can't get rid of
From: Penny S.

To dispose of Christmas pudding. Buy a container of really good vanilla icecream and allow to soften a little. Meanwhile, crumble the pudding. Stir the pudding into the icecream, possibly with a little Cointreau or Grand Marnier, but not too much, or it won't refreeze well. If doing close to Christmas, and you still have some alchoholic cream or hard sauce, add those. Freeze.

Hey presto, christmas pudding icecream. Very edible.

Penny


02 Mar 12 - 03:29 PM (#3316249)
Subject: RE: BS: Food items one just can't get rid of
From: ragdall

Bee-dubya-ell,
That corn starch will make very yummy "shortbread" cookies.
You'll find the starch will quickly be used up.

Sift together:
1/2 cup corn starch
1/2 cup icing sugar
1 cup all-purpose flour

With a wooden spoon, blend in:
3/4 cup butter or margarine
to form soft dough:

Shape into 1 inch balls, place on ungreased baking sheet, flatten with a lightly floured fork. (Can also roll dough out 1/4 inch thick and cut into shapes).
Bake at 300ºF 15 - 20 minutes.

rags


02 Mar 12 - 09:27 PM (#3316408)
Subject: RE: BS: Food items one just can't get rid of
From: Bert

Hearts of Palm go in your stir fry.


02 Mar 12 - 09:46 PM (#3316422)
Subject: RE: BS: Food items one just can't get rid of
From: Joe_F

We shun Christmas pudding -- they souse it with brandy,
And one fiery bite turns a nice fellow randy.
If you think that's harmless, just contemplate this:
A man eating pudding might blow you a kiss.


02 Mar 12 - 09:49 PM (#3316424)
Subject: RE: BS: Food items one just can't get rid of
From: Charley Noble

Well, there is that can of watermelon jelly that someone gave me in 1972. Would anyone like to be its curator?

There's other stuff, I'm sure, since it's been a long time since I've checked the inventory in the cabinets.

Charley Noble


02 Mar 12 - 09:55 PM (#3316427)
Subject: RE: BS: Food items one just can't get rid of
From: Bee-dubya-ell

Grits are slowly making their way out of the southland. This past summer, I saw them on a breakfast buffet in Elkhart, Indiana. That doesn't mean I served myself any. Why would I want to drive from Florida to the Indiana/Michigan border to eat grits? Michiganders don't come to Florida to eat scrapple.


02 Mar 12 - 11:16 PM (#3316469)
Subject: RE: BS: Food items one just can't get rid of
From: Stilly River Sage

In the mid-1980s my father sent me a jar of some kind of jelly from Washington state labled "Slug butter." I still have it, unopened on a shelf. And it will stay that way.

SRS


03 Mar 12 - 05:15 AM (#3316539)
Subject: RE: BS: Food items one just can't get rid of
From: Rusty Dobro

I have a tin of Nestles Condensed Milk which was given to me by my team at work to pig out on when I get down to 11 1/2 stone (colonials - multiply by 14 for lbs). Sadly, that was in the last century, and it's still unopened.


03 Mar 12 - 05:48 AM (#3316545)
Subject: RE: BS: Food items one just can't get rid of
From: Penny S.

Condensed milk lasts - but may go a bit toffeeish. It'll be safe whenever - eat it out of the tin with a spoon!

Penny


03 Mar 12 - 06:58 AM (#3316559)
Subject: RE: BS: Food items one just can't get rid of
From: GUEST,Eliza

LOL Joe, if that's the effect Pudding has, I might suggest my hubbie eats the lot!
Penny, what a lovely idea, and I suppose I could cut up the pudding, freeze it and have it now and then with ice cream or custard. I do so hate wasting food. Normally I'm ever so good and use up everything we buy, but at Christmas one goes just a bit mad and puts stuff in the trolley 'just in case'.


03 Mar 12 - 07:03 AM (#3316560)
Subject: RE: BS: Food items one just can't get rid of
From: Penny S.

My pudding lasts uncovered in the fridge for ages (I already have some icecream!)

Apparently you can fry it for breakfast in slices.

Penny


03 Mar 12 - 08:28 AM (#3316574)
Subject: RE: BS: Food items one just can't get rid of
From: Micca

Eliza, Any leftover Christmas pudding should be treated in the "Scottish " manner and that is fried with a Full English Breakfast!!


03 Mar 12 - 09:04 AM (#3316590)
Subject: RE: BS: Food items one just can't get rid of
From: DMcG

I have some chocolate sprinkle cake decorations that we've had for years with a best before date 'April 09 8120'. I'm not convinced the calendar will last that long.


03 Mar 12 - 10:13 AM (#3316615)
Subject: RE: BS: Food items one just can't get rid of
From: JohnInKansas

Charley Noble's mention of watermelon jelly brought to mind the time when my mom took me in to the old country doc with some complaint or another (not directly behavioral) and he suggested that "I think the kid might like some watermelon pickles."

Since mom had never heard of them, it took her a couple of days to scout up a recipe (actually he meant watermelon rind pickles) and another few days to find a watermelon and make up a batch. They actually were pretty good.

When (so far as she knew) the pickles had cured whatever I was supposed to have had, she took me back to "make sure" and while there she asked the doc what was in the watermelon rind pickles that had helped so much.

His answer was "Not a damned thing, but they kept you busy enough that you weren't pesterin' me about what to do next while the kid got over whatever the h*** he had just like he was gonna do anyway."

"Now where's MY jar of pickles?"

So she had to go home and make another batch.

John


03 Mar 12 - 01:33 PM (#3316719)
Subject: RE: BS: Food items one just can't get rid of
From: gnu

JiK... priceless!! Hahahahaa.


04 Mar 12 - 03:56 AM (#3316995)
Subject: RE: BS: Food items one just can't get rid of
From: Sandra in Sydney

Back in the 80s my 70 year old friend still had stuff in the back of her cupboard her mother had bought - mother had been dead 27 years.

The only item I can remember is baking soda

Wikipedia - Sodium bicarbonate, referred to as "baking soda" is primarily used in cooking (baking), as a leavening agent. It reacts with acidic components in batters, releasing carbon dioxide, which causes expansion of the batter and forms the characteristic texture and grain in pancakes, cakes, quick breads, and other baked and fried foods. Acidic compounds that induce this reaction include phosphates, cream of tartar, lemon juice, yogurt, buttermilk, cocoa, vinegar, etc. Sodium bicarbonate can be substituted for baking powder provided sufficient acid reagent is also added to the recipe.[10] Many forms of baking powder contain sodium bicarbonate combined with one or more acidic phosphates[citation needed] or cream of tartar.

Sodium bicarbonate was sometimes used in cooking vegetables, to make them softer, although this has gone out of fashion, as most people now prefer firmer vegetables that contain more nutrients. However, it is still used in Asian cuisine to tenderise meats. Baking soda may react with acids in food, including Vitamin C (L-ascorbic acid). It is also used in breadings such as for fried foods to enhance crispness.

Thermal decomposition causes sodium bicarbonate alone to act as a raising agent by releasing carbon dioxide at baking temperatures. The carbon dioxide production starts at temperatures above 80 °C. The mixture for cakes using this method can be allowed to stand before baking without any premature release of carbon dioxide.


04 Mar 12 - 07:43 PM (#3317334)
Subject: RE: BS: Food items one just can't get rid of
From: Stilly River Sage

When we emptied my Dad's house there were cans on some shelves out of sight that had sprung leaks, swelled up, various unattractive reminders of why they have a shelf date.

There was an interesting ad a few years ago in Martha Stewart Living that McCormick spices put out - and among the information, it says (on the current site) that if it is from Baltimore or in a tin (except for pepper) it is at least 15 years old.

SRS


05 Mar 12 - 06:00 AM (#3317492)
Subject: RE: BS: Food items one just can't get rid of
From: Genie

Can't bring myself to pour out the wine I made back in the '80s, even though I'm pretty sure all the stuff that was really good has long since been consumed.   Too much time and labor and money went into it for me to feel good about just letting my garden slugs have it (though I understand it's pretty good fertilizer).

I keep thinking I should first try to find out how to make wine vinegar out of it -- can you make good wine vinegar from wine that's a bit oxidized? or just from wine that's gone "vinegary?"
I've also thought I should try mulling some of it with cinnamon, cloves, etc., to see if it's potable that way.   
Also, could a wine that's not all that tasty still be useful in cooking, e.g., to make a cake moist?

Anyway, I hardly ever go into my basement, so the wine isn't in the way.

(I'm sure if I left a few bottles out on the curb, they'd quickly be snatched up, but I don't think that's a good idea.)


05 Mar 12 - 07:45 AM (#3317548)
Subject: RE: BS: Food items one just can't get rid of
From: Charley Noble

I still have a kilo of berbare (Ethiopian hot spice) but it lasts forever as long as it's refrigerated. I used to make the Ethiopian stews regularly but now I get my be-weekly fix at The Asmara in Portland.

Cheerily,
Charley Noble


05 Mar 12 - 07:57 AM (#3317556)
Subject: RE: BS: Food items one just can't get rid of
From: GUEST,olddude

Jell-o Oh the humanity


06 Mar 12 - 02:18 AM (#3318020)
Subject: RE: BS: Food items one just can't get rid of
From: PHJim

I recall someone saying, "We've been married so long we're on our second bottle of Tobasco sauce."


06 Mar 12 - 08:36 AM (#3318145)
Subject: RE: BS: Food items one just can't get rid of
From: GUEST,Patsy

Little assorted savoury cocktail biscuits. Every year my mum buys packets of them for Christmas or Boxing Day nibbles but ends up as one of those impulse buys that stays on her cupboard shelf for weeks because no-one wants to eat them,