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27 Apr 12 - 08:18 PM (#3344216) Subject: BS: Romney to Privatize Gravity... From: Bobert This just in... Anonymous sources have confirmed that Republican presidential nominee has agreed to privatize gravity and grant an un-named donor patent rights and allow said donor to bill all Americans for their use of gravity iF Romney is elected... Details at eleven... B~ |
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27 Apr 12 - 08:31 PM (#3344219) Subject: RE: BS: Romney to Privatize Gravity... From: catspaw49 Is he gonna' make Kurt Vonnegut in charge? Spaw |
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27 Apr 12 - 08:44 PM (#3344221) Subject: RE: BS: Romney to Privatize Gravity... From: Bobert Don't think so, Spawzer... Kurt, you know, is a Kommie... B~ |
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27 Apr 12 - 09:05 PM (#3344228) Subject: RE: BS: Romney to Privatize Gravity... From: Rapparee This plan will fall flat. |
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27 Apr 12 - 09:16 PM (#3344232) Subject: RE: BS: Romney to Privatize Gravity... From: Bobert I donno, Rap... It's kinda up in the air, right now??? N~ |
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27 Apr 12 - 09:32 PM (#3344238) Subject: RE: BS: Romney to Privatize Gravity... From: gnu What happens if ya get high? |
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27 Apr 12 - 09:49 PM (#3344244) Subject: RE: BS: Romney to Privatize Gravity... From: Bobert As long as you are high then, as I understand it, as long as you are so high as to not need gravity then Romney will let you deduct that time from yer monthly bill... Seems fair enough to me... B~ |
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28 Apr 12 - 12:48 AM (#3344277) Subject: RE: BS: Romney to Privatize Gravity... From: John P Bobert, you're grounded. |
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28 Apr 12 - 01:06 AM (#3344281) Subject: RE: BS: Romney to Privatize Gravity... From: Little Hawk What I fear is the day when corporations succeed in privatizing sunshine and air! It could happen anytime. Hell, they've already bamboozled millions of people into buying expensive bottled water (which is quite often just ordinary municipal tap water, sold at as much as 2,000 times what the corporation paid for it!) So why not privatize sunlight and air? Because they can't bottle them yet and scare people off what nature freely provides, that's why! ;-D Just wait.....the bubble domes over your towns and cities are coming! But privatizing gravity...that's brilliant! They only way you could fight that would be by staying immersed in a swimming pool or going up in a hot air balloon...and you'd have to come down (or out) SOMETIME, right? Then they'd charge you by the pound. Overweight people would pay a huge fee. The corporates would claim that this was a public service, because it was helping persuade people to slim down and be healthier. My guess is that the privatization of gravity will go ahead SOON. ;-) If Romney doesn't do it, Obama will. Slim down NOW!!! Or get that hot air balloon. |
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28 Apr 12 - 08:11 AM (#3344375) Subject: RE: BS: Romney to Privatize Gravity... From: saulgoldie Slight correction. Kurt isn't much on anything these days. He is dead. Piece on NPR a while back revealed that he was probably more cantankerous than many folks may have known. And it was not even clear exactly what his politics were, despite what folks thought. Saul |
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28 Apr 12 - 08:12 AM (#3344376) Subject: RE: BS: Romney to Privatize Gravity... From: saulgoldie Ooo, ooo, back to the thread (which is already in progress)...maybe he could privatize "creationism??" THERE'S a thought! Saul |
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28 Apr 12 - 09:18 AM (#3344395) Subject: RE: BS: Romney to Privatize Gravity... From: Uncle_DaveO It's clear that there are multiple lucrative privatization possibilities going untapped. Take food, or more generically, eating. Not just "meat" or "vegetables" or "milk" or "chocolate", but the act of eating, itself! No cost of production involved. But, as great a business opportunity as that is, I'm looking forward to getting the patent on SEX! I'll be a multi-zillionaire on the royalties! With all that money, I'll buy every Mudcatter lunch. But you have to pay the royalty up front. Dave Oesterreich |
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28 Apr 12 - 10:12 AM (#3344409) Subject: RE: BS: Romney to Privatize Gravity... From: GUEST,999 "What happens if ya get high?" I'll let ya know in a few minutes. |
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28 Apr 12 - 10:27 AM (#3344420) Subject: RE: BS: Romney to Privatize Gravity... From: Bill D They are already taxing my patience! |
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28 Apr 12 - 10:30 AM (#3344421) Subject: RE: BS: Romney to Privatize Gravity... From: Charley Noble If Isaac Newton were still around he might have something to say about this. After all he invented gravity. Fortunately his patent has expired long ago. According to the Maya Calendar gravity will radically shift later this year, throwing anything not tied down into outer space on December 21st. So hold onto your hats and be sure you invest in an adequate supply of bungee chords. Cheerily, Charley Noble |
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28 Apr 12 - 10:38 AM (#3344425) Subject: RE: BS: Romney to Privatize Gravity... From: Bill D This just in! Due to a keyboarding error by a teenage volunteer at Romney headquarters, it seems that Mitt actually intends to 'prioritize gravy'. |
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28 Apr 12 - 11:23 AM (#3344444) Subject: RE: BS: Romney to Privatize Gravity... From: Rapparee Ahem. I thought that I should let you all know that I've patented swallowing. Doesn't matter what you swallow, the process is MINE!!! International patent!!!! Swallow air, smoke, food, whiskey, Iron City...doesn't matter, you owe me royalties!!! And swallowing will work without gravity!!!! If you're swallowed up by a Big Black Hole, the Universe owes me!!!! |
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28 Apr 12 - 11:45 AM (#3344448) Subject: RE: BS: Romney to Privatize Gravity... From: Little Hawk I'm not about to swallow that, Rap! ;-) Chongo has pre-empted both Romney and Obama (and everyone else) by copyrighting certain common expressions and spellings, such as "yer" and "yers". You wouldn't believe the money that this has brought pouring into the APP coffers. I advised him to copyright the expression "Fuck you!", but it turned out it already has been...way back in 1962 by Albert Grossman. No wonder that slimy bastard got so rich! His relatives are now cashing in on the proceeds. Bob Dylan is pretty pissed about it too, cos he had it in mind to do the same thing, but Grossman beat him to it, while telling him "I'll set it all up for you, Bob. Don't worry about a thing." |
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28 Apr 12 - 12:20 PM (#3344462) Subject: RE: BS: Romney to Privatize Gravity... From: GUEST,999 I see it's taken me forty minutes to accomplish my mission. Well actually it took me three minutes to accomplish the mission and thirty-seven minutes to find the thread again. Just got sidetracked. OK, so what was the question? |
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28 Apr 12 - 12:44 PM (#3344476) Subject: RE: BS: Romney to Privatize Gravity... From: Little Hawk When Bob Dylan imitated Ramblin' Jack Elliot, why did he not adopt the hat? |
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28 Apr 12 - 12:46 PM (#3344477) Subject: RE: BS: Romney to Privatize Gravity... From: Rapparee You swallowed! Pay up!! |
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28 Apr 12 - 12:54 PM (#3344480) Subject: RE: BS: Romney to Privatize Gravity... From: GUEST,999 Rap: cheque's in the uh, wtf do ya call that? LH, he didn't adopt the hat because the agency said Dylan was single, and they preferred placements to two-parent families. |
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28 Apr 12 - 02:29 PM (#3344520) Subject: RE: BS: Romney to Privatize Gravity... From: Amos On the sex idea, I think there is fairly well-established prior art. A |
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28 Apr 12 - 03:43 PM (#3344530) Subject: RE: BS: Romney to Privatize Gravity... From: Little Hawk Yes, but the gravity idea definitely holds promise. Who will enact it? Obama or Romney? And does it really matter? ;-) My point being...we're all fucked regardless, unless we have a hot air balloon to hover in. |
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28 Apr 12 - 03:46 PM (#3344533) Subject: RE: BS: Romney to Privatize Gravity... From: gnu Gravity tends to ruin sex as one ages. Yeah, that's what I meant. Yeah, that too. And that, yes. And... |
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28 Apr 12 - 03:51 PM (#3344537) Subject: RE: BS: Romney to Privatize Gravity... From: Little Hawk (sigh) So true. |
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28 Apr 12 - 04:02 PM (#3344545) Subject: RE: BS: Romney to Privatize Gravity... From: Charley Noble Sure, blame it all on gravity rather than (select the insult of your choice): 1. tight silk underwear 2. self-abuse 3. llamas 4. Sally 5. all of the above Charley Noble |
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28 Apr 12 - 04:03 PM (#3344546) Subject: RE: BS: Romney to Privatize Gravity... From: Don Firth Sometime back, the remark was made that "We will have solar power as soon as the power companies figure out how to run a sunbeam through a meter!" But privatizing gravity? That SUCKS!! Don Firth |
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28 Apr 12 - 04:34 PM (#3344559) Subject: RE: BS: Romney to Privatize Gravity... From: John P On a more serious note, most of us get our water from public water utilities. Selling our utility companies to for-profit corporations doesn't seem very far-fetched for the Republicans. |
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28 Apr 12 - 04:36 PM (#3344560) Subject: RE: BS: Romney to Privatize Gravity... From: JohnInKansas Nearly all extant versions of THE BIBLE are copyrighted. If the holders of the copyrights would charge like the media moguls do, only the ones who actually intend to read one would be likely to have one, and the thing would disappear in pretty short order, wouldn't it? John |
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28 Apr 12 - 04:49 PM (#3344563) Subject: RE: BS: Romney to Privatize Gravity... From: gnu Charley... what about the Sally Llama? |
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28 Apr 12 - 05:14 PM (#3344574) Subject: RE: BS: Romney to Privatize Gravity... From: Mrrzy You fools! Romney is a Mormon! They don't beLIEve in gravity! |
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28 Apr 12 - 05:21 PM (#3344577) Subject: RE: BS: Romney to Privatize Gravity... From: Penny S. They've sold our water to for-profit groups, some foreign. This includes any rain falling on our property (chance there for gravity related charges as well). My ex-BIL had to pay some charges for rainwater which ran off his warehouse roof into the nearby stream for some odd reason. They do allow us, indeed encourage us, as individuals, to have water butts which they do not not charge us for using. Incidentally. hot-air balloons depend on the cold air sinking to enable them to rise, so you haven't escaped the gravity charges that way. Penny |
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28 Apr 12 - 06:04 PM (#3344589) Subject: RE: BS: Romney to Privatize Gravity... From: Charley Noble When you're feeling down, That's no cause for perplexity, The weight of all your cares and woes Is simply due to gravity! Second verse anyone? Charley Noble |
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28 Apr 12 - 09:44 PM (#3344623) Subject: RE: BS: Romney to Privatize Gravity... From: Rapparee My oldest niece works for a private water company. I got my water from a private company when I lived in Ohio back in the '70s and early '80s. |
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28 Apr 12 - 10:17 PM (#3344627) Subject: RE: BS: Romney to Privatize Gravity... From: GUEST,999 At first I took it seriously, The privatization of gravity, It seemed to fit so snugly with Republican depravity. |
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29 Apr 12 - 02:02 AM (#3344662) Subject: RE: BS: Romney to Privatize Gravity... From: Don Firth . . . Heavy. . . . Don Firth |
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29 Apr 12 - 08:58 AM (#3344738) Subject: RE: BS: Romney to Privatize Gravity... From: Charley Noble 999- Very nice! But then I thought it through some more; Is this Republican depravity? It's more perverse or even worse; It's just complete stupidity. Some more abstruse levity, anyone? Cheerily, Charley Noble |
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30 Apr 12 - 07:44 AM (#3345148) Subject: RE: BS: Romney to Privatize Gravity... From: Charley Noble refresh! |
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30 Apr 12 - 10:40 AM (#3345223) Subject: RE: BS: Romney to Privatize Gravity... From: Amos A sorry state For man or nation To seek cash flow From gravitation! It's a crime to seek For profit there Unless you're into Lift repairs. |
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30 Apr 12 - 11:03 AM (#3345238) Subject: RE: BS: Romney to Privatize Gravity... From: GUEST,spb-cooperator (cookie-less) The charges will be very high due the infrastructure required to record, calculate and bill for gravity-use. Add to that - recovery of the set up costs, and the corporations profit-margin markup. It will be clear that gravity is indeed an expensive commodity to provide. |
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30 Apr 12 - 11:28 AM (#3345246) Subject: RE: BS: Romney to Privatize Gravity... From: Amos Considering it took less than seven days to develop in the lab, I think the markups must be considerable. A |
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30 Apr 12 - 12:04 PM (#3345263) Subject: RE: BS: Romney to Privatize Gravity... From: saulgoldie Possible pricing: ( ( (what it costs to produce) X (its value to end users) ) + (fair market profit margin)) X ( (the number of houses Romney owns) + (the number of cars he owns) ) = They'll pay it, because they cannot live without it. Gravity, you see, is an inelastic service. Saul |
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30 Apr 12 - 12:29 PM (#3345282) Subject: RE: BS: Romney to Privatize Gravity... From: Penny S. Actually, there is some elasticity. You have to factor in the changes in gravity due to the passing of the Moon, and, if near the coast, the extra loading due to high tides. People living on the less dense type of rock would be paying less than those on basalts or other dense rocks, and altitude would also change the force - the higher the less. When I did my OU geophys, we had a tremendous number of corrections to apply to readings. Mind you, they could be done by computer. Penny |
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30 Apr 12 - 01:15 PM (#3345316) Subject: RE: BS: Romney to Privatize Gravity... From: Bill D Gravity is free!...and open source and it gets you many MORE free things. |
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30 Apr 12 - 02:19 PM (#3345347) Subject: RE: BS: Romney to Privatize Gravity... From: Richard Bridge Hmm. What about lawsuits from people who walked out of windows, or in lifts that went wrong? |
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30 Apr 12 - 02:29 PM (#3345353) Subject: RE: BS: Romney to Privatize Gravity... From: Amos They'd still have to pay for the gravity they used, just like someone pays for the electricity when they drop their toaster oven into the bath water. A |
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30 Apr 12 - 02:46 PM (#3345364) Subject: RE: BS: Romney to Privatize Gravity... From: gnu Not much gravitas expressed herein. |
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30 Apr 12 - 03:58 PM (#3345390) Subject: RE: BS: Romney to Privatize Gravity... From: Charley Noble gnu- Oh, I don't know. There's some heavy thinking going on here. And now that Amos has contributed a couple of verses there's real hope for a song, and maybe even a dance. So what happens when the gravity market bubble bursts? Will there be a market crash or just a lot of smoke? Anyone want to buy gravity futures at a ridiculously low introductory rate? Just send me a PM with your bank account, social security number, birthday, and favorite pet's name. Charley Noble |
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30 Apr 12 - 04:16 PM (#3345396) Subject: RE: BS: Romney to Privatize Gravity... From: gnu Smilie. And Smilie the second through the nineteenth. 19 was HUGE. Over three feet long. I tied him to the oil pipe next to the back door steps. I was coming home from school (7 years old) and running across the field in back of our house at lunch time because I saw my old man coming home for lunch. He spotted my snake whilst on the landing of the back door steps and leaped over the railing, trouncing soundly on 19's head. He held it up, saw the string I stopped dead in my tracks. He saw me. He gave me shit for keeping a wild animal tied up. No more snakes. He bought me a puppy. A beagle. I like snakes better. |
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30 Apr 12 - 04:56 PM (#3345410) Subject: RE: BS: Romney to Privatize Gravity... From: Charley Noble Yah, them beagles never stayed home. I'd rather have a big snake any day. Charley Noble |
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30 Apr 12 - 05:16 PM (#3345416) Subject: RE: BS: Romney to Privatize Gravity... From: GUEST,999 Get a snake big enough and you'll solve the beagle problem in short order. |
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30 Apr 12 - 05:49 PM (#3345426) Subject: RE: BS: Romney to Privatize Gravity... From: Richard Bridge Not if it was a legal beagle - the snake would afford professional courtesy. |
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30 Apr 12 - 06:37 PM (#3345438) Subject: RE: BS: Romney to Privatize Gravity... From: Ed T Privatize gravity - I am not going to fall for it. |
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30 Apr 12 - 08:20 PM (#3345468) Subject: RE: BS: Romney to Privatize Gravity... From: Charley Noble With the privatization of gravity, If politicians be so brash, Gravity futures will be bought and sold, And the market surely crash! Charley Noble |
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30 Apr 12 - 08:32 PM (#3345472) Subject: RE: BS: Romney to Privatize Gravity... From: gnu Ed T... HAHAHAHAA! The song verses are excellent! |
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30 Apr 12 - 08:42 PM (#3345476) Subject: RE: BS: Romney to Privatize Gravity... From: Ed T ""Magnetism is one of the Six Fundamental Forces of the Universe, with the other five being Gravity, Duct Tape, Whining, Remote Control, and The Force That Pulls Dogs Toward The Groins Of Strangers"". (Quote by - Dave Barry) |
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30 Apr 12 - 10:10 PM (#3345496) Subject: RE: BS: Romney to Privatize Gravity... From: Charley Noble Ed T- Well, now we've got some new verses to work up! What rhymes with "groin"? So is that what physists mean when they say "The force is curtailed"? Charley Noble |
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01 May 12 - 03:15 PM (#3345786) Subject: RE: BS: Romney to Privatize Gravity... From: GUEST Rhymes with groin... coin comes to mind immediately. >;-) |
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01 May 12 - 04:42 PM (#3345820) Subject: RE: BS: Romney to Privatize Gravity... From: Charley Noble And the river Boyne in Ireland. Charley Noble |
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01 May 12 - 04:54 PM (#3345823) Subject: RE: BS: Romney to Privatize Gravity... From: GUEST What I fear is the day when corporations succeed in privatizing sunshine and air! It could happen anytime. Hell, they've already bamboozled millions of people into buying expensive bottled water (which is quite often just ordinary municipal tap water, sold at as much as 2,000 times what the corporation paid for it!)"" Pineal gland = human spirituality Tap water = lump of chalk where pineal should be,as in unable to centre oneself |
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01 May 12 - 05:22 PM (#3345834) Subject: RE: BS: Romney to Privatize Gravity... From: Ed T It is surprising how much opoetic interest there is in the word groin: Hello Poetry |
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01 May 12 - 05:26 PM (#3345836) Subject: RE: BS: Romney to Privatize Gravity... From: Ed T ""Hell, they've already bamboozled millions of people into buying expensive bottled water (which is quite often just ordinary municipal tap water, sold at as much as 2,000 times what the corporation paid for it!)"" Much better than that, add alot of sugar and carbonated water ane you can get even more money for a much less healthy drink-that costs a consumer more per unit than gasoline- hundreds of millions, (plus) around the world get sucked in by that scam many times every day. |
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01 May 12 - 07:06 PM (#3345887) Subject: RE: BS: Romney to Privatize Gravity... From: gnu Yeah. I wouldn't buy that fizzy stuff unless there was some alcohol in it. >;-) |
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01 May 12 - 07:51 PM (#3345899) Subject: RE: BS: Romney to Privatize Gravity... From: Charley Noble Ed T- I didn't see a poem there featuring "Groinzilla." This is much more fun than discussing Romney! gnu- Yes, branch water and Jack Daniels bourbon was a favorite family drink. Cheerily, Charley Noble |
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01 May 12 - 09:05 PM (#3345915) Subject: RE: BS: Romney to Privatize Gravity... From: Ed T ""fizzy stuff"" Brings me back to Collins Mix, the fuzzy stuff I used to buy in the grocery store as a teen, it tasted bad, but it sure cut the taste of Black Velvet rye Whiskey (the one in the black "pringles box). |
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01 May 12 - 09:21 PM (#3345925) Subject: RE: BS: Romney to Privatize Gravity... From: Ed T ""The Vulcan Neck Pinch is not half as powerful as the Vulcan Groin Kick, but it's more politically correct" Star Trek |