Honoring Our Departed Moms (Mothers Day)

30 Apr 12 - 12:46 PM (#3345297)
Subject: Honoring Our Departed Moms (Mothers Day)
From: wysiwyg

RIP Sara Carpenter Oldberg, died April, 2012. I will sing for her that day... she'd always stop singing while she did dishes, if she thought we could hear her voice. I guess she didn't like her voice, but I did.... it was low, and rich, and always on-key singing. (For some time now I have sung that way by choice.)

Amid phone calls to family that day, I'll be singing one I know she would love: I'm Gonna Tell.


You? Is there someone you want to remember on that special day, in some special way?

~Susan

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01 May 12 - 10:20 AM (#3345669)
Subject: RE: Honoring Our Departed Moms (Mothers Day)
From: wysiwyg

refresh

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01 May 12 - 04:37 PM (#3345813)
Subject: RE: Honoring Our Departed Moms (Mothers Day)
From: CupOfTea

Susan,

I just stuffed a Mothers Day item in the church bulletin today about all the Masses at Catholic Cemeteries on that day around the area. That, plus your thread name had me musing about what songs I should associate with my mother. She died when I was 2, and I don't know which, if any, melodies or songs I know come from her. I was so small - there must have been lullabies - I grow wistful when I hear of other folks tell of what their mothers sang. I'll never BE a mother, to fit the other side of the Mothers Day equation, so those who hear my songs are friends and children of friends. My dad, lord ya couldn't keep that man from singing! (unfortunately he had a small repertoire so it was a quick loop). With no memories of her to use as fuel, Mothers Day has always been, for me one of those "holidays for other people" like Passover while I'm doing Easter or Super Bowl day when I don't care for football.

Yet, your phrasing "Honoring Our Departed Moms" - it sounds a chord in me, because honor is due, no matter that I didn't know that good woman. I DID know so many others who've mothered me one way or t'other. I know one who is still living, who DID give me a fair few songs - the mother of a friend who took me all sorts of wonderful places, especially to their cottage on Put In Bay. I may have imprinted on Scottish song through Fran. I've had in the back of my mind to pay her a visit and sing some songs for her, I shouldn't put it off any longer. Thanks for the goose.

Joanne in Cleveland (an orphan since 1982)

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01 May 12 - 10:49 PM (#3345956)
Subject: RE: Honoring Our Departed Moms (Mothers Day)
From: wysiwyg

Joanne,

I know one who is still living, who DID give me a fair few songs - the mother of a friend who took me all sorts of wonderful places, especially to their cottage on Put In Bay. I may have imprinted on Scottish song through Fran. I've had in the back of my mind to pay her a visit and sing some songs for her, I shouldn't put it off any longer. Thanks for the goose.

Do you know, that puts me on mind of another thread I started long ago about our folkbabies..... I am sure that you must be Fran to some of the little ones to whom you have sung!

Your whole post is just lovely. My relationship with my mother was a weird one, and altho I cannot precisely say that I share your experience, in some ways I was not mothered. I too benefited from some extra mothering from wise older women, along the way.

You will be much in my thoughts this Mother's Day (what was her name?). Please do feel free to keep writing about this, here or via PM.

~Susan

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06 May 12 - 02:47 PM (#3347526)
Subject: RE: Honoring Our Departed Moms (Mothers Day)
From: wysiwyg

Well I had the wrong date for Mother's Day, so NOW it is a week off-- refresh! :~)

~S~

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06 May 12 - 06:01 PM (#3347593)
Subject: RE: Honoring Our Departed Moms (Mothers Day)
From: DebC

I honor my mother, Marjorie Mae Bell Strassman (1926-1999) who gave me the gift of singing.

Debra Cowan

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07 May 12 - 01:32 AM (#3347674)
Subject: RE: Honoring Our Departed Moms (Mothers Day)
From: Genie

This is a song I wrote about 10 years ago, for a Mother's Day program at a retirement home.   I didn't have enough songs for the Mother's Day theme, and I arrived at the venue about 40 min. early, so I scribbled out some lyrics in my car in the parking lot. All of the "mothers" referenced in the verses are women in my own life who are/were mothers, and in some cases the verse honors more than one woman.

Yeah, I know it's kind of 'Hallmark-ish," but the mothers honored are very real.

Here's To Mothers (They're All About Love

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07 May 12 - 11:33 AM (#3347808)
Subject: RE: Honoring Our Departed Moms (Mothers Day)
From: Bert

Here's one from My Mum

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12 May 12 - 10:46 PM (#3350187)
Subject: RE: Honoring Our Departed Moms (Mothers Day)
From: wysiwyg

Surely I Will, Lord

Now We Take This Feeble Body

~Susan

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13 May 12 - 11:59 AM (#3350316)
Subject: RE: Honoring Our Departed Moms (Mothers Day)
From: catspaw49

When you grow up in the midwest, the county fair is a holy event. The state fair is like a mecca. Jean Shephard died a few years ago, and although he was older than I am, his wonderful short stories were like a personal history for me. I remember his great tale of the fair and thinking it was just as I too remembered. Some of my earliest memories are from those fairs.

Early on, at one of my first fairs, my Mom and I were walking past the little booth selling lavender that they put in little basket-like things do be used in drawers of wherever as a sachet. Margie (long story, but I called her Margie) explained the idea to me and I smelled the aroma. She asked if I liked it, and I said I did. We moved on. Somehow from this brief conversation, I gathered that she liked them and I asked Dad if I could buy her one. The "Ol' Man" smiled, happy that his young son would think such a nice thought (I now know that feeling myself), and we went back "on the sly" and made the purchase. I spent the rest of the day hiding my little surprise from Margie as best I could. When we got home I gave it to her feeling like one of the wise men in the Christmas story and she acted so surprised (as though she hadn't been smelling this thing all afternoon). I got those fantastic hugs of hers and some extra time with her at the piano before bed.

Well of course from that point on every fair yielded another lavender basket and I was rewarded with her hugs. No matter what else I brought her from the fair, she always got the lavender basket. In October of '67 I brought her one from the last fair of the year which I'd gone to with a girlfriend on a weekend home from college. She had been ill with cancer for three years and I brought her this one in the hospital just before catching the bus back to Berea. And once again, I got the full huggy treatment. She died a few weeks later.

The Ol Man and I were going through her things that Christmas. Neither of us had much heart for it, or for Christmas either. In a lower dresser drawer, wrapped in plastic, were a drawerful of those baskets. It was one of those moments. Then Dad kind of smiled and said, "You know Pat, she never liked lavender; just never could bring herself to tell you that. We both used to get a kick out of you bringing them to her."

I hope I'm half the parent they were. I hope my sons have those same feelings I had. And no, I don't wish she'd told me.

Spaw

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13 May 12 - 12:06 PM (#3350318)
Subject: RE: Honoring Our Departed Moms (Mothers Day)
From: wysiwyg

(((Pat)))

I'm feelin' a little huggy today myself.

~Susan

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13 May 12 - 08:08 PM (#3350469)
Subject: RE: Honoring Our Departed Moms (Mothers Day)
From: AllisonA(Animaterra)

((((hugging you both))))

What a sweet story, Pat!

I've been thinking of you today, Susan. Love never dies, y'know. I heard someone remind me of that once or twice awhile ago...

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14 May 12 - 06:11 AM (#3350605)
Subject: Anyclone help request
From: wysiwyg

Garg's post, above-- delete?

~S~

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14 May 12 - 01:48 PM (#3350761)
Subject: RE: Honoring Our Departed Moms (Mothers Day)
From: Stilly River Sage

Sorry your rosebush was stolen, Gargoyle. I have a friend who buys expensive iris rhizomes from a catalog - and plants them where only she can see them so they aren't stolen by passers by. Kind of spoils the reason for buying the pretty flowers.

It was a quiet Mother's Day here at the house, my children have scattered, coming home for visits every so often. As I did, many years ago, when I was able. My mother made the mistake of trying to hold tight for too long, so I had to fight my way out--consequently I didn't put any conditions on the kids as they prepared to move, just helped with moving their stuff and keep my fingers crossed that they learned enough while they were here to stay safe.

Other than that, as far as honoring my mother, it isn't just one day a year. I think the most obvious thing that has passed down through the generations, beyond the packrat and bibliophile tendencies, is the love of sewing.

She sewed all of the time for us when we were kids - four children in a family with just my father's salary - and she tried to give us choices as much as possible. We would choose the pattern and fabric, and she would make it. I started sewing my own clothes at about age 12 and sewed steadily through college; when I had small children I sewed for them because we were also on one salary and because I loved making them clothes. As my daughter grew and we saw cute department store clothes that were way too expensive I showed her how we could make it ourselves for much lower cost and make it fit perfectly.

I gave my daughter a mint-condition Singer Series 15 (1955) rotary machine when she was 14. It didn't take long for her to realize that she could make anything she wanted and promptly turned her bedroom into a sweatshop making costumes for Animae/cosplay conventions (the Japanese television programs, films, and books have lots of characters who are brought to life through kids at conventions every year). She went on to major in theater arts in college, specifically interested in costume design. She's quite resourceful, using ideas from everywhere and has learned all of the measurement, adaptation, and tailoring skills to make these costumes look good.

She told me, before she was able to take her first costume class, that she had heard the teacher was very strict. I told her I figured there was a reason for a serious demeanor - this woman taught a required course that a lot of actors had to take so they'd understand costume design. My daughter wasn't interested in acting. First day the class met, the teacher quizzed the class - how many could sew? In a class of 20, 8 hands went up. When she asked them what their most complicated project had been, it was things like skirts and pillow cases. Moonglow had made a corset, complete with steel boning, grommets, and this teacher must have sent up a silent "thank you" to a prayer answered. A motivated student. They got along great, and there were so many points along the way when I wished my mother was alive so she could see the great work this child was doing.

She designed the costumes for Ah, Wilderness in her senior year. Set in 1906 New Haven, Connecticut, the play is O'Neill's one comedy, and interestingly, I have lots of family photos and garments from that period - my father's family was from just outside New Haven. She took photos from 1905 and 1907 high school graduations of my aunts, a photo of my grandfather in medical school at Yale, and went to work. At the performance the house is dark, then when the lights come up everyone is standing on stage in a tableau - I wanted to shout "stand where you are for a minute so I can just look at you!" It was like my family photos came to life. And you can be certain that had Mom still been alive, we would have flown her in for a visit and a trip up to that play. My daughter has taken a family skill that my mother (and I) practiced for economic reasons and turned it into an art form.

SRS

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