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27 May 12 - 02:59 PM (#3356229) Subject: BS: Old men don't... From: gnu ... use turn signals or sit at red lights when there is no opposing traffic. Although, some old men will honk their horns at you and point to the red light with their gums flappin and an agry look on their face. I dunno who they are talking to on accounta I can't hear em. I just smile at em. ... come to a complete stop at stop signs when there is no other trafiic around. Hey, I am all about saving energy in order to stem global warning. ... hold farts in until they get out of the grocery store. Oh, I will wait for an empty isle but if it's real busy I let it go and say something like, "I'm glad that's behind me." or "Was that you or me?" or "Better out than in, eh?" Of course, being a gentleman, I never fart in the checkout line... that I know of, anyway. ... ogle young women without having sunglasses on. Unless they are walking away. Sometimes I look up at the security camera and mouth, "Would ya look at the ass on that!" Just seems to me that it might brighten the day of the person that has to monitor the cameras. Any others? |
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27 May 12 - 03:42 PM (#3356243) Subject: RE: BS: Old men don't... From: GUEST,Eliza LOL gnu, you're a real scream! |
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27 May 12 - 04:01 PM (#3356253) Subject: RE: BS: Old men don't... From: Don Firth Giggle all you want now, gnu, but--you're gonna get there sooner or later.... Don Firth (Certified and ordained Old F**t, Olympics class.) P. S. Overheard: "It's not that I mind the smell all that much, but it's making my eyes water!") |
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27 May 12 - 04:09 PM (#3356254) Subject: RE: BS: Old men don't... From: John MacKenzie I had this deep thought today about the life of man. Over 50 years or so, it goes from manually to annually, and sometimes it goes back to manual again. Is that the sound of one hand clapping? |
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27 May 12 - 04:29 PM (#3356263) Subject: RE: BS: Old men don't... From: Lizzie Cornish 1 'Old Men don't.....EVER give up on smiling, all twinkly-eyed, at women... I know, because I always smile back at them.. ;0) |
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27 May 12 - 04:35 PM (#3356266) Subject: RE: BS: Old men don't... From: Richard Bridge I think they do if they get the chance. |
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27 May 12 - 04:44 PM (#3356270) Subject: RE: BS: Old men don't... From: Bert Instal a new crankshaft on their lawnmower, they just buy a new mower. |
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27 May 12 - 05:15 PM (#3356285) Subject: RE: BS: Old men don't... From: gnu ... install a new crankshaft on their mower if they don't know what they are doing, don't know if they have all the tools required and don't wanna take the chance that they could fuck up a piece of machinery that has a spinning blade of death. |
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27 May 12 - 06:33 PM (#3356306) Subject: RE: BS: Old men don't... From: GUEST,olddude collect old pocket watches instead of hot young women |
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27 May 12 - 06:37 PM (#3356309) Subject: RE: BS: Old men don't... From: gnu Ahhhh, Dan... I have proof that they do. >;-) |
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27 May 12 - 07:34 PM (#3356312) Subject: RE: BS: Old men don't... From: Bobert ...miss out checkin' Mudcat everyday... LOL... B~ |
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28 May 12 - 10:05 AM (#3356350) Subject: RE: BS: Old men don't... From: Elmore Get around much any more. |
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28 May 12 - 10:29 AM (#3356360) Subject: RE: BS: Old men don't... From: Rapparee ...do a lot of things they used to, because now they know better. |
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28 May 12 - 11:02 AM (#3356380) Subject: RE: BS: Old men don't... From: Bill D "The spirit's willing, but....." |
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28 May 12 - 01:35 PM (#3356455) Subject: RE: BS: Old men don't... From: gnu ... care about the dandelions. When a neighbour, like the guy next door who spreads who knows what kinda chemicals on his lawn (and hires a company to do "deep injection" fertilization) says with attitude, "That's a big crop of dandelions.", I reply, "Pretty, ain't they? All those brilliant yellow flowers on a green background. It's just beautiful. And, you can eat em and make wine with em. God's gift." |
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28 May 12 - 03:25 PM (#3356502) Subject: RE: BS: Old men don't... From: Kampervan .....walk past a public toilet without using it. |
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28 May 12 - 04:01 PM (#3356520) Subject: RE: BS: Old men don't... From: kendall Well, I guess I'm not old yet. I always stop at red lights and stop signs. Recently I replaced the auger shaft in my snow blower. Not too long agoI pulled the transmission and clutch assembly out of a very old car and installed a new clutch. That transmission is much heavier than the one I replaced back whenI was 17. When I do get old I will probably flirt with the women I meet. I might even buy the leather pants that go with the jacket. |
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28 May 12 - 04:50 PM (#3356543) Subject: RE: BS: Old men don't... From: gnu Kendall... "I always stop at red lights and stop signs." When there is no traffic, I don't have that kinda time to waste. And I JUST became an old man. |
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28 May 12 - 06:02 PM (#3356566) Subject: RE: BS: Old men don't... From: Bill D "When there is no traffic, I don't have that kinda time to waste." If you lived where I do, you'd think twice. We have drivers who use that approach and who are NOT old yet. They develop bad habits about 'not stopping', and they eventually guess wrong and either get caught, or hit someone. |
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28 May 12 - 06:13 PM (#3356570) Subject: RE: BS: Old men don't... From: WalkaboutsVerse According to some old inky-skinned sailors on the BBC's "Coast" last night...get any more tattoos. |
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28 May 12 - 06:18 PM (#3356572) Subject: RE: BS: Old men don't... From: The Sandman OLD MEN DONT REMEMBER HOW TO SPELL ANMESIA |
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28 May 12 - 06:55 PM (#3356581) Subject: RE: BS: Old men don't... From: gnu Bill D... "guess wrong". Ahhhh... I don't guess. I look. I don't hafta guess. I can look. ... care about fashion. They care about comfort. |
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28 May 12 - 07:21 PM (#3356591) Subject: RE: BS: Old men don't... From: Midchuck ...pass up an available toilet, or trust a fart. |
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29 May 12 - 04:18 AM (#3356700) Subject: RE: BS: Old men don't... From: kendall Just because we don't see another car coming doesn't mean there is not a police car watching. None of the signs say, "Stop unless the way is clear." I've been driving for 60 years and I've gotten ONE speeding ticket. I can't count the number of times I have been passed by some Dale Ernhart wannabe who ignored a solid line and within a few yards I am right on his ass at the next stop light. He endangered lives to gain one car length. That ticket was valid. I was coming home from the memorial service of my dear friend, Helen Schneyer, and I was doing 54 in a 45. BFD. |
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29 May 12 - 08:15 AM (#3356745) Subject: RE: BS: Old men don't... From: Nigel Paterson We need a definition of 'Old'...post 50...post 60. I'm approaching 65. Am I old? What was that saying: "You're as old as the wo/man you're feeling" Nigel ;) |
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29 May 12 - 08:32 AM (#3356751) Subject: RE: BS: Old men don't... From: John MacKenzie I'm enjoying 69 |
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29 May 12 - 12:24 PM (#3356853) Subject: RE: BS: Old men don't... From: kendall Old is anyone 10 years older than me. |
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29 May 12 - 01:04 PM (#3356871) Subject: RE: BS: Old men don't... From: frogprince "I'm enjoying 69" John, this is about age, not proclivities. |
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29 May 12 - 02:37 PM (#3356920) Subject: RE: BS: Old men don't... From: Jim Carroll "Old men don't..." do lots of things they used to to excess. Joe Heaney once told us that it takes all night to do what he used to do all night Jim Carroll |
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29 May 12 - 02:57 PM (#3356923) Subject: RE: BS: Old men don't... From: gnu Kendall. I did get pulled over. I was 4 or 5 Am and I was on my way to pick up my uncle to go huntin. I don't blame the cop. He probably thought I must be drunk. But, I explained that I am a transportation engineer and in my expert opinion, traffic control devices are for controlling traffic. Therefore, when there is no other trraffic, as an expert in time management and fuel conservation, I made a carefully considered decision to ignore the red light after stopping to ensure it was safe to do so. He looked at me kinda odd, told me not to do that again and walked back to his car. |
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29 May 12 - 03:59 PM (#3356945) Subject: RE: BS: Old men don't... From: kendall was coming home late one night and I stopped at a flashing red light. I looked left, then right, and left again. Crossed the intersection and saw a cop right on my ass.He had the right of way coming from the right, but I didn't see him until he was showing his revolving lights. My point is, I looked both ways three times and I was sure the way was clear. It wasn't In both cases I was not paying attention, even when I was sure I was. "It aint what you don't know that hurts you; it's what you are sure of that aint true." Two tickets in 60 years.Not too shabby. |
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29 May 12 - 04:05 PM (#3356948) Subject: RE: BS: Old men don't... From: Bert Old Men (with good driving records) don't tailgate 'cos they know that that extra space is the difference between a near miss and a fender bender. |
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29 May 12 - 04:17 PM (#3356956) Subject: RE: BS: Old men don't... From: Bill D "guess wrong". Many years ago I was riding home from a concert with some friends. It was about 1AM... guy driving was a professional ambulance driver. On the FAR north end of town we came to a red light. He stopped...and waited....and waited... and waited... No traffic in any direction as far as he eye could see. Musta been 2 minutes (which was normal and natural for that intersection in daytime). Finally, driver say "Screw this, I'm gonna turn!" He turns left.... and from behind the gas station behind us comes flashing lights and sheriff's car pulls him over and gives him a ticket. My buddy says... "And I KNEW the cop! He says they get 4-5 a night sitting there!" "guess wrong". |
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29 May 12 - 04:50 PM (#3356971) Subject: RE: BS: Old men don't... From: gnu I got ONE ticket in 39 years. I passed on a solid yellow line. I could see 6/10ths of a mile up the highway and nothing was coming. It was a 60mph zone and buddy was doing 40mph. BUT, it was downhill and the province regulations were "no passing" downhill back then... since changed. We were the only two cars in sight. Didn't notice the aircraft. |
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30 May 12 - 03:36 PM (#3357356) Subject: RE: BS: Old men don't... From: Richard Bridge I fear I was kodaked earlier this week. I await the post... with trepidation. Some Volvos are quite quick. |
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30 May 12 - 03:38 PM (#3357357) Subject: RE: BS: Old men don't... From: JohnInKansas don't ... install a new crankshaft on their mower if they don't know what they are doing, don't know if they have all the tools required ... Sorry, but you've disqualified yourself for any but the extreme lowest grade of ol' man. (we still call them "the young 'uns.") A PROPER old man has all the tools anyone could possibly need to do anything that can be done. And in addition, probably can do almost anything you can even think of doing, with nothing more than a pocket knife with one old loose blade. Even if you had scant possibility of a successful repair you missed a splendid opportunity to honor your TAS, by getting at least a dozen "tools you might need" before even starting to take anything apart. (Since the important part is the excuse for getting the tools, you don't really have to get around to taking anything apart once you've got them.) You could certainly have enhanced your "old man" reputation just by having a proper "kit." Once you've reached the stage of old manship at which you have more tools than you can ever possibly use, the only remaining grades of old manning are the next - having all the tools but not remembering where "the one you need" was put away - and the ultimate grade of having all the tools, organized so that you can find them all, but not remembering what most of them are for. (except the pocket knife, of course, even if it's only use is for carrying around "in case you need it"). John |
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30 May 12 - 04:46 PM (#3357373) Subject: RE: BS: Old men don't... From: gnu Perhaps I should have been more clear. Rephrase... don't know if they have all the tools required because they have never done such a job before. I have a shitload of tools. For example, I have 6 sets of ratchets and sockets with many special sockets and one set has 153 pieces. I'll bet you could fix it in a jiffy with a small percentage of the tools I have. Me... I ain't gonna bother unless I change out engines this winter as i mentioned above. My questions would be, what is wrong inside? why is it ratcheting LOUDLY under a small load? what has been damaged? how will I be able to tell? can I get the parts? how long will it take to get the parts? how much will it cost to get the parts? how long will the grass grow before I get the engine fixed? Old men in this situation WOULDN'T fuck around. They would just go buy the cheapest mower at Chinese Tire which has a matching engine, get the job done and maybe try to fix the damn thing this winter if the new engine works okay for the rest of the season. I hope that clarifies my modis operandi and reinstates my status as a PROPER old man while also including me in the wise old man status because I carefully considered my options and chose a reasonable solution set given the constraints, variables and opportunities that the situation presented. I realize, of course, that there may be a probationary period regarding the wise old man status simply due to the fact that I started this thread, albeit mostly in jest. Please let me know of the Proper Old Man's Association Membership Committee decision on a timely basis. If you remember, of course. |
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30 May 12 - 05:30 PM (#3357388) Subject: RE: BS: Old men don't... From: Bill D Ahhh..if it was the IM-Proper Old Man's Association, I might be able to help... |
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31 May 12 - 11:22 AM (#3357672) Subject: RE: BS: Old men don't... From: Nigel Paterson .....old men do less than they used to, but what they DO do, they do better. .....old men turn the light out at bedtime BEFORE getting undressed. |
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31 May 12 - 01:35 PM (#3357709) Subject: RE: BS: Old men don't... From: frogprince ".....old men turn the light out at bedtime BEFORE getting undressed." Speak for yourself; when I get undressed at bedtime, there is usually a mature lady there who is undressing too, or who has recently slipped under the covers after undressing. With that in mind, I'm quite willing to leave the light on and risk an accidental glimpse of my own sorry old hide. |
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31 May 12 - 01:44 PM (#3357712) Subject: RE: BS: Old men don't... From: JohnInKansas STINK A "Scientific Test" has shown that old people smell less strongly and have a more pleasant odor than younger persons. (sniff) John |
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31 May 12 - 02:42 PM (#3357732) Subject: RE: BS: Old men don't... From: gnu ... save $25 by sealing the driveway themselves, especially if they have a bad back. |
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31 May 12 - 06:58 PM (#3357824) Subject: RE: BS: Old men don't... From: catspaw49 ......sit down without checking the position of their balls. True for any sitting device and especially true on the john. Spaw |
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01 Jun 12 - 05:10 PM (#3358152) Subject: RE: BS: Old men don't... From: gnu Thanks for the heads up. I am sure it will come in handy in the near future. |
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02 Jun 12 - 01:42 AM (#3358274) Subject: RE: BS: Old men don't... From: Bert Right on there JohninKansas. Every new job that you tackle you get to buy a new tool. That's one of the rules. However we will allow you to keep your real old man status, but only because of your Dentification remark in the approval thread. |
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02 Jun 12 - 10:07 AM (#3358338) Subject: RE: BS: Old men don't... From: GUEST,leeneia Yesterday I was leaving the library with a load of books. The 20-year-old ahead of me had his ear glued to a cell phone. He was totally unaware that another person was right behind. He opened the door wide, then let it go - "FWOMP" - right in my face. He moved to the side of the vestibule, but I still didn't register. Long ago, a Vietnam vet told me that the guys that survived were those with brains. That 20-year-old would not have lasted, I fear. |
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02 Jun 12 - 12:29 PM (#3358378) Subject: RE: BS: Old men don't... From: kendall A few years ago at the UofM I went through a door and I held it for a young woman just behind me. She snarled "Don't hold the door for me, I'm not crippled." I thought, yes you are, and you don't even know it. I hold doors for anyone behind me. |
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02 Jun 12 - 06:08 PM (#3358525) Subject: RE: BS: Old men don't... From: dick greenhaus ...but often wish they still could. |
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02 Jun 12 - 08:33 PM (#3358584) Subject: RE: BS: Old men don't... From: gnu dick! BEST one yet! Hahahahahaa! |
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02 Jun 12 - 10:17 PM (#3358615) Subject: RE: BS: Old men don't... From: Rapparee ...worry about what old men can't. |
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03 Jun 12 - 01:01 AM (#3358645) Subject: RE: BS: Old men don't... From: dick greenhaus May you live as long as you want to..... ...and want to as long as you live. Amen |
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03 Jun 12 - 07:11 AM (#3358689) Subject: RE: BS: Old men don't... From: kendall ...and not a day longer. |