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Tune Req: The Voyage of the Sassafras (Cable)

08 Jun 12 - 05:16 PM (#3361031)
Subject: Lyr Add: The Voyage of the Sassafras (Cable)
From: Haruo

Cap'n Clark Cable is best known, I think, as the author of the Christmas classic A Visit from Whitebeard. I'm interested to know if anyone is singing his "The Voyage of the Sassafras", and if so, to what tune. Both texts are in his Old Molasses Rum, unfortunately apparently out of print.

Here're the first two stanzas (of fourteen); I'll add the rest later when I have more time to type.

Whipped cream waves of fury
Lashed and leapt across the bow;
The night was black and slimy
Like the inside of a cow.
The stars by clouds of marmelade
Were painstakingly obscured&emdash;
So sailed the good ship Sassafras
With fifty hands aboard.

Low and heavy rode she now,
Returning from afar,
With twenty tons of peanut shells
And thirteen tons of tar;
A crate or two of monky lips;
Some bruised banana peel;
Fourteen barrels of eggshell parts;
Six sides of spoiled veal.


10 Jun 12 - 05:09 AM (#3361529)
Subject: RE: Tune Req: The Voyage of the Sassafras (Cable)
From: Haruo

refresh


11 Jun 12 - 12:40 AM (#3361902)
Subject: Lyr Add: The Voyage of the Sassafras (Cable)
From: Haruo

Okay, here's the whole thing:


The Voyage of the Sassafras
Cap'n Clark Cable, © 1999

Whipped cream waves of fury
Lashed and leapt across the bow;
The night was black and slimy
Like the inside of a cow.
The stars by clouds of marmelade
Were painstakingly obscured&emdash;
So sailed the good ship Sassafras
With fifty hands aboard.

Low and heavy rode she now,
Returning from afar,
With twenty tons of peanut shells
And thirteen tons of tar;
A crate or two of monky lips;
Some bruised banana peel;
Fourteen barrels of eggshell parts;
Six sides of spoiled veal.

A quarter ton of apple cores;
And dampened Kleenex (yellow);
And oh, yes, in the forward stores,
A ton of mouldy Jello.
A fortune in rusty bottle caps;
And freeze dried beaver blood;
Three tons of half smoked cigarettes;
And a half a ton of mud.

All these treasured riches tossed
Upon the foaming brine,
And all the brave and able lads
On deck were feeling fine.
Waves as dark as Dr. Pepper
Washed over the rail
As the company of the Sassafras
sailed onward through the gale.

The Captain was a crocodile
(Though no one knew he was)
For he had managed in some way
To ring his face with fuzz;
A little bit of dental work,
Contact lenses in his eyes
And everyone was just too dumb
To see through the disguise.

The first mate was a kangaroo,
And also undetected,
But considering the Captain
I guess that's to be expected.
The boatswain was a parakeet
Whose name was Mr. Paul;
His mate was a mannequin
And not alive at all.

The cook was a hippopotamus,
The cabin boy, a crow,
The carpenter an elephant
(he always stayed below).
No one knew these things were true
But the gunner who was a dog;
And so the good ship Sassafras
Sailed onward in a fog.

They made the Cape of Superman
By noon the second day.
They anchored quite beside the point
Of Fact, in Hound Dog Bay.
They sailed alee of the Key of Sea,
Each "man" was at his post;
A gentle breeze to Port Winecheese
Along the French Toast coast.

Their travels brought them to the
Coastal town of Whyioughta
Where they reefed sail and stayed a day
To take on food and watah.
The Captain he did go ashore
To purchase some new clothes
And all the crew went into town
For ice cream and yo-yos.

The Captain in his brand new suit
Walked down the street with pride.
He got a shave and had some lunch
Then had himself shanghaied.
And Mr. Paul, the parakeet,
Had girls in every port,
So he flew off to see one
With some flowers and a quart.

Now Mr. Hops, the kangaroo,
(Remember he's first mate),
Spent twenty hours and twenty cents
Preparing for his date.
Old cook hippo was a sight
When he staggered back from town;
Hungover with three new tattoos
In a tattered wedding gown.

The elephant (the carpenter)
Got very, very drunk;
And very very hurt indeed—
He tried to pack his trunk.
The cabin boy flew off to find
A nice cornfield to rob,
But he got beaten up and mugged
By the local scarecrow mob.

The dog who was the gunner
Got in trouble with the law—
He killed a man who he said was
"The man who shot my paw."
He shared a cell with Mannequin
(Who was the bos'n's mate)—
He had by accident caused
Some young dummy to deflate.

But shore leave's done and everyone
Must now be getting back
To ship and sail and teakwood rail
And salt pork and hardtack.
So mumbling and staggering
And relieved of their doubloons
Our sailors stumble back on board
With headaches and balloons.