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11 Jun 12 - 08:20 AM (#3361984) Subject: What's the daftest song ever? From: Paul Reade I nominate Engelbert Humperdinck's Lesbian Seagull Any suggestions? |
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11 Jun 12 - 09:18 AM (#3362002) Subject: Lyr Add: LOVING YOU HAS MADE ME BANANAS From: pdq Standup comic Guy Marks used to do this song... LOVING YOU HAS MADE ME BANANAS Verse 1 Oh, your red scarf matches your eyes, You closed your cover before striking, Father had the shipfitter blues, Loving you has made me bananas, Verse 2 Oh, your red scarf matches your eyes, You closed your cover before striking, Father had the shipfitter blues, Loving you has made me bananas, Bridge Oh, you burnt your finger that evening, While my back was turned, I asked the waiter for iodine, But I dined all alone, Verse 3 Oh, your red scarf matches your eyes, You closed your cover before striking, Father had the shipfitter blues, Loving you has made me bananas. |
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11 Jun 12 - 09:42 AM (#3362016) Subject: RE: What's the daftest song ever From: John MacKenzie I'm Going Back to 'Im as 'as. |
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11 Jun 12 - 10:04 AM (#3362029) Subject: RE: What's the daftest song ever From: Elmore Who's the Fool Now, aka Martin Said To His Man. Fun to sing as well. |
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11 Jun 12 - 10:27 AM (#3362041) Subject: RE: What's the daftest song ever From: Leadfingers If Les Barker makes the comment " That's a SILLY song!" the nomination has to go to Malcolm Austen's Octopus's Leg ! |
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11 Jun 12 - 10:28 AM (#3362043) Subject: RE: What's the daftest song ever From: frogprince I remember when "Loving You has Made Me Bananas" actually got quite a bit of radio play. But I would have to add my vote for "Lesbian Seagull", which I had never heard before. I'm at a loss as to why anyone would think of making a "straight-faced" recording of that. Could they have thought of it as having actual merit as a statement for tolerance or rights for gays? If so, why ???. Daft and funny is one thing, but that is just humorless and uttery inane. |
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11 Jun 12 - 10:34 AM (#3362046) Subject: RE: What's the daftest song ever From: PHJim I think Jim Webb and Richard Harris produced the absolute winner of the daftest song award. Macarthur Park |
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11 Jun 12 - 10:34 AM (#3362049) Subject: RE: What's the daftest song ever From: Steve Shaw God Save The Queen. No contest! |
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11 Jun 12 - 12:01 PM (#3362095) Subject: RE: What's the daftest song ever From: MGM·Lion I wonder if S Shaw ever gets tired of being so ballsachingly boringly predictable? Ho-hum |
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11 Jun 12 - 12:19 PM (#3362099) Subject: RE: What's the daftest song ever From: GUEST,Guest Charles Macfarlane > From: PHJim > > I think Jim Webb and Richard Harris produced the absolute winner of the daftest song award. Can't agree with that, perhaps not the best song in the world, but a long way from being the worst, or even just the daftest, which was the original question. I would nominate one that Robin Dransfield covered on Tidewave, "When It's Night Time In Italy, It's Wednesday Over Here". This is a much fuller set of lyrics than Robin sang though: When It's Night Time In Italy, It's Wednesday Over Here |
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11 Jun 12 - 01:06 PM (#3362119) Subject: RE: What's the daftest song ever From: GUEST This has to ba a contender, words here, in a Mudcat thread, Edison Cylinder recording here. JohnB |
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11 Jun 12 - 01:10 PM (#3362122) Subject: RE: What's the daftest song ever From: Mrrzy The large dark aardvark song! |
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11 Jun 12 - 01:14 PM (#3362124) Subject: RE: What's the daftest song ever From: GUEST,Eliza Almost all George Formby's songs are daft, in the nicest possible way. I also nominate Max Bygrave's Toothbrush song (You're a pink toothbrush, I'm a blue toothbrush etc). All my schoolchildren thought it was extremely daft, but begged me to play it if they did well in a test! |
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11 Jun 12 - 01:20 PM (#3362126) Subject: RE: What's the daftest song ever From: GUEST Beetlebaum by Spike Jones. |
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11 Jun 12 - 01:36 PM (#3362134) Subject: RE: What's the daftest song ever From: Elmore I like The Hartlepool Monkey. Not the monkey, the song. |
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11 Jun 12 - 02:34 PM (#3362166) Subject: RE: What's the daftest song ever From: Richard Bridge There's no bones in mushrooms. |
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11 Jun 12 - 03:48 PM (#3362204) Subject: RE: What's the daftest song ever From: GUEST,sturgeon 'Ain't it Grand to be Bloomin' Well Dead' http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hfyBlwlCFYo |
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11 Jun 12 - 03:52 PM (#3362206) Subject: RE: What's the daftest song ever From: GUEST You'll never find hairs on a duck egg But you'll always find hairs on an ape. It's only the hairs on a gooseberry That stop it from being a grape. (taken from Jim Eldon) |
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11 Jun 12 - 03:55 PM (#3362208) Subject: RE: What's the daftest song ever From: Bainbo The Jim Eldon verse above was from me, cookie Awol. |
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11 Jun 12 - 03:57 PM (#3362210) Subject: RE: What's the daftest song ever From: fat B****rd "Feet up (pat him on the po-po)" Gets my vote, PS Doesn't mean it infuriates me. |
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11 Jun 12 - 04:51 PM (#3362230) Subject: RE: What's the daftest song ever From: John MacKenzie The railroad runs through the middle of the house |
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11 Jun 12 - 07:53 PM (#3362290) Subject: RE: What's the daftest song ever From: michaelr The Unicorn song! |
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11 Jun 12 - 08:20 PM (#3362299) Subject: RE: What's the daftest song ever From: robomatic Gary Cooper Movie Five Yep by Ted Snag & The Buckets played twice on Doctor Demento in the 80s. Has a nice piano break in it. |
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11 Jun 12 - 11:03 PM (#3362346) Subject: RE: What's the daftest song ever From: PHJim MichaelR suggested The Unicorn Song. Shel Silverstein has written some daft songs for sure, but I wouldn't pick that one. What about: Freakin' At The Freaker's Ball A Boy Named Sue Don't Give A Dose To The One That You Love Cover Of The Rolling Stone Goodnight Little Houseplant I Got Stoned And I Missed It I'm So Good That I Don't Have To Brag Never Bite A Married Woman On The Thigh Besides The Unicorn Song, he also wrote a bunch of other songs for kids: Sarah Cynthia Sylvia Stout Would Not Take The Garbage Out Someone Ate The Baby The man was a genius. His song, Cover Of The Rolling Stone got Dr. Hook on the cover, but Shel never made it himself. His liner notes for Ramblin' Jack Elliott's first album are brilliant. |
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12 Jun 12 - 04:57 AM (#3362407) Subject: RE: What's the daftest song ever From: GUEST,Bob Coltman The Tune The Old Cow Died On. |
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12 Jun 12 - 06:52 AM (#3362439) Subject: RE: What's the daftest song ever From: Mr Happy What's the daftest song ever? A hypothetical question? |
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12 Jun 12 - 09:22 AM (#3362474) Subject: RE: What's the daftest song ever From: GUEST,Charles Macfarlane > From: PHJim > > MichaelR suggested The Unicorn Song. Shel Silverstein has written some daft songs for sure, but I wouldn't pick that one. From Shel Silverstein, it has to be "Three-Legged Man", which here in the UK Eddie Walker used to cover in his live gigs, though I don't recall him recording it. |
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12 Jun 12 - 10:06 AM (#3362486) Subject: RE: What's the daftest song ever From: frogprince We are, of course, going different some different ways in defining "daft" here. Maybe we can take the opportunity to get in some nice flaming argument about it. : ) To me, a bunch of the songs mentioned may be "daft", but they're fun because you can sense that they're rooted in intelligent humor. Others just lay there and beg the question of why anyone would have recorded them. Then again, maybe a lot of people get a good laugh out of the E.H. recording of "Lesbian Seagull, and it just landed in a hole in my sense of humor. |
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12 Jun 12 - 10:25 AM (#3362492) Subject: Lyr Add: BANANA BLUES (Ronney Abramson) From: s&r Banana Blues - Ronney Abramson
I got my heart wrapped up |
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12 Jun 12 - 10:49 AM (#3362508) Subject: RE: What's the daftest song ever From: Elmore Squalor by Lou and Peter Berryman. |
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12 Jun 12 - 11:43 AM (#3362528) Subject: RE: What's the daftest song ever From: GUEST,Atlanticarc Plastic Jesus as performed by the King Earl Boogie Band Something like this if memory serves me correctly... Well, I don't care if it rains or freezes, Long as I got my plastic Jesus Riding on the dashboard of my car Through all trials and tribulations, On my travels through the nation, With my plastic Jesus I'll go far. [Chorus] Plastic Jesus, plastic Jesus Riding on the dashboard of my car Though the sun shines on his back Makes him peel, chip, and crack With my plastic Jesus I'll go far. and so on in similar vein. Great fun actually, and then the immortal verse... I don't care if it rains or freezes Long as I got my plastic Jesus Riding on the dashboard of my car But I' afraid he'll have to go His magnet ruins my radio And if I have a wreck he'll leave a scar |
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12 Jun 12 - 11:45 AM (#3362529) Subject: Lyr Add: I LOBSTER AND NEVER FLOUNDER From: PHJim I always enjoyed this daft song, I Lobster And Never Flounder, by Pinkard & Bowden. I was a cook, she was a waitress Down at the Salty Sam Seafood Café And somewhere 'tween the clam juice and the seaweed salad Some little shrimp just lured her away Oh, I lobster and never flounder He wrapped his line around her And they drove off in his carp Oh, I lobster and never flounder I octopus his face in Eel only break her heart I said, "Just squid and leave me For that piano tuna If you want to trout something new" She was the bass I ever had Now my life has no porpoise Oh my cod, I love her, yes, I do Oh, I lobster and never flounder He wrapped his line around her And they drove off in his carp Oh, I lobster and never flounder I octopus his face in Eel only break her heart (Spoken:) "Boy, I swordfish she'd come back to me, Sandy. I shore'd a whale of a time." "Now, Richard, you know she'd just pull that 'Not tonight, I've got a haddock' routine." "You're probably right. But y'know, I've kelped her picture in my walleye just for the halibut. I wonder if she's still got mine in her perch?" "Did you..you say 'perch'?" "Yeah, I'm afraid so." "That's good. For a moment there, I thought I was losing my herring." "Well, we bass squid all this seahorsing around before these people out here go into a state of shark." "Yeah, if we get out of here alive, it's going to be a...mackerel." "Frankly scallop, I don't give a clam." |
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12 Jun 12 - 12:00 PM (#3362539) Subject: Lyr Add: THE GREAT SILKIE From: Big Al Whittle GREAT SILKIE An earthly nurse sits and sings, And aye, she sings by lily wean, And little ken I my bairn's father, Far less the land where he dwells in. For he came on night to her bed feet, And a grumbly guest, I'm sure was he, Saying, "Here am I, thy bairn's father, Although I be not comely." "I am a man upon the land, I am a silkie on the sea, And when I'm far and far frae land, My home it is in Sule Skerrie." And he had ta'en a purse of gold And he had placed it upon her knee, Saying, "Give to me my little young son, And take thee up thy nurse's fee." "And it shall come to pass on a summer's day, When the sun shines bright on every stane, I'll come and fetch my little young son, And teach him how to swim the faem." "And ye shall marry a gunner good, And a right fine gunner I'm sure he'll be, And the very first shot that e'er he shoots Will kill both my young son and me." Now that's really daft. |
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12 Jun 12 - 12:00 PM (#3362540) Subject: Lyr Add: I'M WALKING BACKWARDS FOR CHRISTMAS From: Young Buchan Spike Milligan I'm walking backwards for Christmas I'm walking backwards for Christmas, Across the Irish Sea, I'm walking backwards for Christmas, It's the only thing for me. I've tried walking sideways, And walking to the front, But people just look at me, And say it's a publicity stunt.. I'm walking backwards for Christmas, To prove that I love you. Or failing that The Yingtong Song There's a song that I recall My mother sang to me. She sang it as she tucked me in When I was ninety-three.. Ying tong ying tong Ying tong ying tong Ying tong iddle I po, Ying tong ying tong Ying tong ying tong Ying tong iddle I po |
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12 Jun 12 - 02:49 PM (#3362609) Subject: RE: What's the daftest song ever From: PHJim GUEST Cool Hand Luke's Plastic Jesus I believe that Ernie Marrs gets credit for this song, though there are those who dispute his claim to authorship. There are many verses to the song and no two people seem to sing it the same. |
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12 Jun 12 - 02:54 PM (#3362616) Subject: RE: What's the daftest song ever From: PHJim There have been many forum threads on Plastic Jesus and there are two versions in the Digitrad. Earlier Plastic Jesus info |
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12 Jun 12 - 05:29 PM (#3362660) Subject: RE: What's the daftest song ever From: Bert My Dad used to sing... My wife's husband, he's a friend of me when we get married we'll have coffee in our tea never with a knife shave the whiskers off a flea every little poodle has his day Rock oil, suck a boil, if you can't succeed suck coke never eat a sausage with it's skin on good morning do you use Pears Soap. |
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12 Jun 12 - 06:22 PM (#3362679) Subject: RE: What's the daftest song ever From: Joe_F A Horse Named Bill |
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12 Jun 12 - 07:14 PM (#3362703) Subject: RE: What's the daftest song ever From: pdq Another candidate... Everybody's Rich But Us |
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12 Jun 12 - 08:09 PM (#3362727) Subject: RE: What's the daftest song ever From: Elmore Garden State Stomp by Dave Van Ronk. |
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12 Jun 12 - 08:24 PM (#3362731) Subject: RE: What's the daftest song ever? From: Genie Passengers will please refrain from flushing toilets while the train Is standing in the station, I love you. We encourage constipation while the train is in the station. Moonlight always makes me dream of you. While we're strolling in the park, goosing statues in the dark, If Sherman's horse can take it, Why can't you? |
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12 Jun 12 - 08:51 PM (#3362736) Subject: RE: What's the daftest song ever From: Big Al Whittle look - you lot should know when you're beaten Bloke comes home. sez , tell you what; I'm a part time seal. I'm going to teach my son to be a part time seal. I know your sort - you'bre almost certainly going to get off with a seal hunter, who will harpoon me and the kid. You bastard! |
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13 Jun 12 - 01:15 AM (#3362771) Subject: RE: What's the daftest song ever From: MGM·Lion Any hymn |
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13 Jun 12 - 10:37 AM (#3362900) Subject: RE: What's the daftest song ever From: GUEST,Don Wise Anything from The Goons, Monty Python etc., and how about 'Da-da-da' from Trio? Da-da-da Da-da-da Da-da-da Ich liebe dich nicht Du liebst mich nicht Da-da-da Da-da-da etc. etc..........I believe there is an english version as well.... |
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13 Jun 12 - 11:14 AM (#3362908) Subject: RE: What's the daftest song ever From: Elmore Closing Time by Leonard Cohen |
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13 Jun 12 - 12:35 PM (#3362928) Subject: RE: What's the daftest song ever From: Big Al Whittle Da Da Da is real folk music. I remember Klaus Voorman looked really cool plucking a fender precision bass. We need cool guys like Klaus inside the tradition rather than all these bloody folksingers. |
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13 Jun 12 - 03:42 PM (#3363012) Subject: RE: What's the daftest song ever From: Elmore Waltzing Around in the Nude by Dick McCormack. |
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13 Jun 12 - 05:21 PM (#3363051) Subject: RE: What's the daftest song ever From: GUEST,guest launching the flame war: If it was written intentionally to be comedic, its not daft, its funny. If it was written for children, its not daft, its silly. A daft song is ridiculous when you think about it, but takes itself seriously. So my orignial nominees were: Stand By Your Man Spirit in the Sky Total Eclipse of the Heart but I have to agree agree that MacArthur Park takes the cake. |
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13 Jun 12 - 06:42 PM (#3363079) Subject: RE: What's the daftest song ever From: Paul Reade Guest - I like the definition, and I think my original nomination Lesbian Seagull definitely fits it. Paul |
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13 Jun 12 - 10:39 PM (#3363175) Subject: RE: What's the daftest song ever From: GUEST,Charles Macfarlane > From: GUEST,guest > > A daft song is ridiculous when you think about it, but takes itself seriously. No, that's just a bad song. A daft song is one that is illogical, certainly lyrically, possibly melodically as well - that is, its lyrics contain non-sequiturs, unexpected juxtapositions of ideas, impossible situations, etc, but may still make some sort of idiotic sense. We've seen a few examples above, but I still think my suggestions are among the best. > So my orignial nominees were: > > Stand By Your Man Just a bad song. > Spirit in the Sky Not exactly outstanding lyrically speaking, but you obviously have no idea how much fun that was to dance to in the 70s. > Total Eclipse of the Heart Can't recall it so can't comment. > but I have to agree agree that MacArthur Park takes the cake. "Someone left the cake out in the rain" though. It's not that bad, but it's not that good either. And at least it has something of a decent tune. |
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13 Jun 12 - 10:52 PM (#3363182) Subject: RE: What's the daftest song ever From: Bert But guest, WE are daft so we don't make such distinctions. |
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13 Jun 12 - 10:55 PM (#3363183) Subject: RE: What's the daftest song ever From: PHJim I still think MacArthur Park is it, but, depending on your definition of daft, how about The Bird Is The Word or maybe Having My Baby? |
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13 Jun 12 - 11:19 PM (#3363194) Subject: RE: What's the daftest song ever From: Elmore Too Fat Polka by Mclean and Richardson. |
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14 Jun 12 - 02:23 AM (#3363207) Subject: RE: What's the daftest song ever From: Georgiansilver Now that you're mine, It's a quarter past nine, I think it is bedtime don't you. She rose from the chair, took off her false hair, Her white pearly teeth came out too. One leg made of wood, one eye was a dud, ]Her nose she began to unscrew. And I cried with dismay as her breasts fell away. Am I wasting my time on you. Guess he must have been blind or daft not to notice before making her his!!! |
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14 Jun 12 - 02:55 AM (#3363216) Subject: RE: What's the daftest song ever From: Little Hawk Bird Is The Word Nothing could be dafter than that song. |
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14 Jun 12 - 03:05 AM (#3363219) Subject: Lyr Add: INCENSE PEPPERMINTS (Strawberry Alarm Clo From: Genie Nah. "Having My Baby" and "MacArthur Park" are just lousy songs - not really daft. But THIS one is totally daft: Strawberry Alarm Clock's "Incense, Peppermints" - which was conceived simply by consulting a rhyming dictionary: "Good sense, innocence, cripplin' mankind, Dead kings, many things I can't define, Occasions, persuasions clutter your mind, Incense and peppermints, the color of time. Who cares what games we choose? Little to win, but nothing to lose. Incense and peppermints, meaningless nouns Turn on, tune in, turn your eyes around. Look at yourself, look at yourself, yeah, yeah Look at yourself, look at yourself, yeah, yeah, yeah! To divide this cockeyed world in two Throw your pride to one side, it's the least you can do. Beatniks and politics, nothing is new. A yardstick for lunatics, one point of view. Who care what games we choose? Little to win, but nothin' to lose. Good sense, innocence, cripplin' mankind Dead kings, many things I can't define. Occasion, persuassions sclutter your mind Incense and peppermints Incense and peppermints Sha la la Sha la la Sha la la Sha la la Sha la la" |
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14 Jun 12 - 03:12 AM (#3363222) Subject: RE: What's the daftest song ever From: Genie Then, of course, there are other good candidates here |
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14 Jun 12 - 04:50 AM (#3363242) Subject: RE: What's the daftest song ever From: Georgiansilver Having thought about it some more... perhaps this would take some beating.. |
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14 Jun 12 - 05:05 AM (#3363245) Subject: RE: What's the daftest song ever From: Steve Shaw Adiemus. |
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14 Jun 12 - 06:07 AM (#3363261) Subject: RE: What's the daftest song ever From: GUEST,Mark Bluemel And did those feet in ancient times walk upon Englands mountains green? No And was the Holy Lamb of God in Englands pleasant pastures seen? No And did the Countenance Divine shine forth upon those clouded hills? No And was Jerusalem builded here, among those dark satanic mills? No Game, Set and Match to William Blake |
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14 Jun 12 - 06:53 AM (#3363270) Subject: RE: What's the daftest song ever From: WalkaboutsVerse My attempt at folk comedy: "On Honeymoon!" - http://www.writeoutloud.net/public/blogentry.php?blogentryid=28168 |
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14 Jun 12 - 10:27 AM (#3363342) Subject: RE: What's the daftest song ever From: mayomick Ha- ha daft : While you're in the Mexican Proper And wearing a bowler or topper Be careful or you'll come a cropper For in Mexico they dance on your hat Plain daft : Ye faketh olde lyrics of virtually any Christmas carol composeth during the Victorian era , but especially the "Hither page and stand by me /if thou knowest telleth" verse in Good King Wensaslaus |
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14 Jun 12 - 03:49 PM (#3363455) Subject: RE: What's the daftest song ever From: Elmore Civilization by Bob Hilliard and Carl Sigman. |
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15 Jun 12 - 03:49 PM (#3363867) Subject: RE: What's the daftest song ever From: Elmore Atheists Don't Have No Songs by Steve Martin. |
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15 Jun 12 - 04:38 PM (#3363891) Subject: RE: What's the daftest song ever From: GUEST,Max Reiner I've been looking for the name of the following song and singers for a l000ng time. It was popular in the the early 1960s. Had to do with NASA space flights or maybe sex. Lyrics could be interpreted both ways. HA. Here is a lie of lyrics near as I can remember. Song by girl singers. "It's a long way to splash down." Disco sounding beat. Anybody know??? Thanks! Maxy |
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15 Jun 12 - 07:27 PM (#3363958) Subject: RE: What's the daftest song ever From: Esdeonfi How about the Nonsense Song? A wonderful camp song. That site has the lyrics of the last line wrong, though– should be "Paderewski blow your horn (toot toot!)" |
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16 Jun 12 - 11:10 AM (#3364186) Subject: RE: What's the daftest song ever From: Elmore Remember Song by Tom Rush. |