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49 messages

BS: Does Yer Junk Float???

19 Jul 12 - 08:45 PM (#3378943)
Subject: BS: Does Yer Junk Float???
From: Bobert

Well???

B;~)


19 Jul 12 - 08:52 PM (#3378946)
Subject: RE: BS: Does Yer Junk Float???
From: bobad

Freely.


19 Jul 12 - 09:03 PM (#3378948)
Subject: RE: BS: Does Yer Junk Float???
From: Bobert

Mine, too, man...

That's great!!!

B;~)


19 Jul 12 - 09:05 PM (#3378949)
Subject: RE: BS: Does Yer Junk Float???
From: bobad

Yeah - let your freak flag fly!!!


19 Jul 12 - 09:18 PM (#3378954)
Subject: RE: BS: Does Yer Junk Float???
From: Bob the Postman

You mean . . . in water?


19 Jul 12 - 09:25 PM (#3378956)
Subject: RE: BS: Does Yer Junk Float???
From: Bobert

Whatever floats yer junk, B the P...

B~


19 Jul 12 - 09:28 PM (#3378958)
Subject: RE: BS: Does Yer Junk Float???
From: Rapparee

Some of it. Some goes straight to the bottom. Can I borrow your guitar to use as a fishing boat?


19 Jul 12 - 09:44 PM (#3378964)
Subject: RE: BS: Does Yer Junk Float???
From: Bill D

I only have Junque....


19 Jul 12 - 09:48 PM (#3378965)
Subject: RE: BS: Does Yer Junk Float???
From: Bobert

Not what Rita says, Bill... What are you hiding??? Or trying to hide???

And no, Rap, you can't... Geetars make lousy life rafts...

B~


19 Jul 12 - 11:16 PM (#3378979)
Subject: RE: BS: Does Yer Junk Float???
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp

There ya go. What more proof is needed that Bobertz is obsessed with bodily excretions of the brown and squishy kind? First he starts by hurlin' specist slurs at me and usin' the "P" word. Then he asks people if their "junk" floats! This guy is sick, people, sicker than a dog. He can't get his mind off scatological subjects, see? It amazes me that this sicko would think of runnin' for president.

- Chongo


19 Jul 12 - 11:43 PM (#3378983)
Subject: RE: BS: Does Yer Junk Float???
From: Ebbie

I suspect that Chongo has not yet learned the nuances of various terminologies. That's OK- it is not surprising that a chimp doesn't read well; it is more remarkable that he can read at all.


20 Jul 12 - 04:22 AM (#3379030)
Subject: RE: BS: Does Yer Junk Float???
From: GUEST,Eliza

I don't know why, but the title makes me think of that good old hymn "Will your anchor hold?"...!


20 Jul 12 - 05:41 AM (#3379046)
Subject: RE: BS: Does Yer Junk Float???
From: Ed T

Yes, and my watertight-bulkhead
is stout and strong


20 Jul 12 - 05:47 AM (#3379050)
Subject: RE: BS: Does Yer Junk Float???
From: John MacKenzie

I have a junkette.


20 Jul 12 - 08:28 AM (#3379092)
Subject: RE: BS: Does Yer Junk Float???
From: Bobert

Wow, Chongz... Me thinks that LH needs to take you back to yer shrink... Everything has become way over-the-top scatological to you... You are obsessed... You see poo in everything... Get help, man!!!

B~


20 Jul 12 - 11:09 AM (#3379177)
Subject: RE: BS: Does Yer Junk Float???
From: Becca72

I read the title and knew...KNEW...this thread had been started by Bobert. :-)

I have no "junk" per se, but do have personal flotation devices


20 Jul 12 - 11:12 AM (#3379178)
Subject: RE: BS: Does Yer Junk Float???
From: EBarnacle

The only junk I have ever come close to purchasing, 40 years ago, is still in service on Raritan Bay.


20 Jul 12 - 11:34 AM (#3379193)
Subject: RE: BS: Does Yer Junk Float???
From: Bee-dubya-ell

I never came close to purchasing a junk, but I did come fairly close to buying a nearly derelict Cheoy Lee ketch. It was still floating, but it was pretty much a piece of junk, so I decided to take a pass.


20 Jul 12 - 11:37 AM (#3379195)
Subject: RE: BS: Does Yer Junk Float???
From: Bobert

Smart choice, Beeze... For every real boat there are 10 boat shaped objects...

B~


20 Jul 12 - 01:19 PM (#3379241)
Subject: RE: BS: Does Yer Junk Float???
From: GUEST

Many countries can be historically linked to early "Chinese Junk" visits, believed to be years before the European "discovers" left home. Today, much of our store merchandise remains linked to Chinese junk.


20 Jul 12 - 01:27 PM (#3379244)
Subject: RE: BS: Does Yer Junk Float???
From: Ed T

When your junk hits the water is there occasionally an immense splash, creating a splash of cold refreshing water?


20 Jul 12 - 01:51 PM (#3379254)
Subject: RE: BS: Does Yer Junk Float???
From: Don Firth

I have one of Sam Radding's "Go-guitars" (travel guitar), which I use a lot.

(Sam checking a newly made "Go.").

In addition to having a surprisingly big sound for such a small instrument, as long as I have it with me, I'll never be up the creek without a paddle.

Don Firth


20 Jul 12 - 01:53 PM (#3379258)
Subject: RE: BS: Does Yer Junk Float???
From: John MacKenzie

Well I lived on a boat for many years, and the only piece of wisdom that comes anywhere near Bobert's wise quote was this.
There are two prices when selling a boat, what you can get for it, and what it's worth!


20 Jul 12 - 02:00 PM (#3379262)
Subject: RE: BS: Does Yer Junk Float???
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp

Okay, Bobertz, I see ya joined up with these modern hiphop dummies that don't use the language right no more, and yer usin' that dumb label "junk" to describe yer own little, tiny, shrivelled up reproduction thingee. So it floats? Big whoop. Word on the street is that it ain't been put to use in so long that it don't even remember how. I guess if someone was to cut it off and throw it in the Potomac or some other handy waterway, it would eventually float all the way down to the ocean...where it would promptly get ate by a seagull.

- Chongo


20 Jul 12 - 02:08 PM (#3379270)
Subject: RE: BS: Does Yer Junk Float???
From: Rapparee

Chongo didn't have "junk" until after the operation (see another thread for the gory details). Chongo ("his" right name is "Chonga") also moves her/his lips as s/he very, very slowly begins to understand what is on the paper or monitor or whatever.


20 Jul 12 - 04:07 PM (#3379318)
Subject: RE: BS: Does Yer Junk Float???
From: Bobert

Word on the street is that when Chongz went for the Big O, they didn't have any human junk so they used dog junk... Explains why he sniffs other guys junk and chases cars...

B~


21 Jul 12 - 09:05 AM (#3379533)
Subject: RE: BS: Does Yer Junk Float???
From: EBarnacle

Actually, having lived aboard/been owned by a classic schooner for several years, there is one other price--the permanent feeling of loss from no longer being a liveaboard. The life was priceless.


21 Jul 12 - 11:35 AM (#3379583)
Subject: RE: BS: Does Yer Junk Float???
From: frogprince

It floats better when it's junk than when it's a usable tool.


22 Jul 12 - 11:25 AM (#3379865)
Subject: RE: BS: Does Yer Junk Float???
From: Bobert

OK...

Hmmmmmmm???

Whatever floats yer junk, f-prince... Or doesn't...

B;~)


23 Jul 12 - 10:22 AM (#3380365)
Subject: RE: BS: Does Yer Junk Float???
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp

You owe me 25 cents for every time you used the word "yer" in this thread, Bobert. Or in other threads. I own the rights to "yer". Anyone else uses it, they gotta pay me a quarter, so pay up.

- Chongo

p.s. - Word on the street is that yer junk sinks like a rock. I did a quick informal poll amongst the proskirts all across yer region, and what most of 'em said can easily be summed up in the common phrase: "That dog won't hunt."


23 Jul 12 - 02:30 PM (#3380510)
Subject: RE: BS: Does Yer Junk Float???
From: Bobert

I just checked the patent office, Chongz, and it says the only thing you got a patent for is poo-chuckin'...

As fir my junk sinkin' like a rock??? Wake up, Chongz!!! Yer dreaming... My junk "floats like a butterfly and stings like a bee"... Bet you think you patented that phrase, too... No, it was Mohammad Ali...

B~


23 Jul 12 - 07:26 PM (#3380613)
Subject: RE: BS: Does Yer Junk Float???
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp

I taught Muhammad Ali everything he knew, Bobertz. It was my expert tutelage in the 1950s that made him not just a contender...but soon to be world champion. Very few people knew this. He kept it real secret. If he'd paid me what he really owed me for all the coachin' I provided him, I could buy up half of Chicago with it. But that's okay. He needed the help, and I was glad to provide it. Now, it is a fact that no man can ever outbox a pro-Chimp boxer...and that is why yer mass media have kept Chimps off the TV screen when it comes to boxing. Yessir. We are deadly in the ring or outside it. I figger Muhammad made it just about to introductory level for a Chimp boxer...not bad, considerin' he was a human.

I coulda coached Sonny Liston too, but ya know what that dummy did? He called me a "monkey"...to my face. I said, "Okay, Sonny, guess what? I am goin' across town to the other camp. The competition. YOUR competition. And guess what happens then? Do I gotta spell it out for you? Let's just say yer gonna be kissin' the canvas like it was yer longlost lover, mister specist dupe fathead bigtime loser."

He laughed. So did I. Guess who got the last laugh on that one.

I always got along okay with Ali. He never called me a monkey. He did call Joe Frazier a gorilla a few times, and that was pretty insensitive, I guess. Gorillas did not take it well nor did Frazier. I don't know WHO was worse insulted. Bit of a puzzle, that is.

But anyway, he was polite to me, so I ain't carryin' no grudge against him, even though he shoulda paid me more.

- Chongo


23 Jul 12 - 07:57 PM (#3380619)
Subject: RE: BS: Does Yer Junk Float???
From: Bobert

Check this out, Chongz...

You hadn't been born yet when Ali took Liston out...

Sorry... It's a math thing and I ain't talkin'...

...monkey math...

B~


23 Jul 12 - 11:34 PM (#3380653)
Subject: RE: BS: Does Yer Junk Float???
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp

I had not only been born by the time Ali took Liston out, Roscoe...I once put the cuffs on Al Capone. That's right, sucker. I was already catchin' the "word on the street" and puttin' the cuffs on the bad guys when you wasn't nothin' but a gleam in the postman's eye...you know, the guy that would stop by when yer Dad was at work and help yer Ma "hang the drapes"?

- Chongo


24 Jul 12 - 05:18 AM (#3380717)
Subject: RE: BS: Does Yer Junk Float???
From: Michael

If you don't want your junk to float don't let anyone blow into it.

Mike


24 Jul 12 - 07:05 AM (#3380745)
Subject: RE: BS: Does Yer Junk Float???
From: Bobert

Okay???

B;~)


24 Jul 12 - 08:09 AM (#3380767)
Subject: RE: BS: Does Yer Junk Float???
From: Dave Hanson

Does yer junk float ? do yer look ?

Dave H


24 Jul 12 - 09:23 AM (#3380796)
Subject: RE: BS: Does Yer Junk Float???
From: Bobert

Well, if you don't look then how ya' gonna know if it's floatin'... Oh, I see... You want someone else to look... Hmmmmmmm??? Maybe a neutral party that you trust to tell you the truth... Okay, here's an idea... Maybe private companies??? Yeah, Junk-R-Us 'er Junk-Check, Inc... I mean, that would take all the subjectivity outta the deal...

Oh, I can see the ads on TV now...

B;~)


24 Jul 12 - 09:53 AM (#3380810)
Subject: RE: BS: Does Yer Junk Float???
From: Michael

Invest in Junk Bonds?


24 Jul 12 - 10:45 AM (#3380834)
Subject: RE: BS: Does Yer Junk Float???
From: saulgoldie

My junk floats, fer shur. I have proudly contributed to the big flotillas of throw-away garbage bags on the oceans by adding at least a couple of hundred, give or take. I am confident that I have choked over a dozen fishies and turtles, oh, and birdies, too thus "protecting" humanity from extinction, at least for a while.

Saul


24 Jul 12 - 10:39 PM (#3381110)
Subject: RE: BS: Does Yer Junk Float???
From: Bob the Postman

"Gleam in the postman's eye," Chongo? The stories I could tell. Say, what WAS Bobert's mom's address?

Anyway, none of your guys's junk floats like this guy's junk.


25 Jul 12 - 08:23 AM (#3381237)
Subject: RE: BS: Does Yer Junk Float???
From: Bobert

Now, that's some serious floatin' junk...

B~


25 Jul 12 - 09:17 AM (#3381254)
Subject: RE: BS: Does Yer Junk Float???
From: John MacKenzie

Take a lot of blowing, that would.


25 Jul 12 - 01:00 PM (#3381364)
Subject: RE: BS: Does Yer Junk Float???
From: Bobert

I pay to watch that, John Mac...

B~


26 Jul 12 - 08:01 AM (#3381685)
Subject: RE: BS: Does Yer Junk Float???
From: Don(Wyziwyg)T

Hey Bobz! Have you got change for a dhow? I need a couple of feluccas for the meter.

Don T.


26 Jul 12 - 08:58 AM (#3381698)
Subject: RE: BS: Does Yer Junk Float???
From: Bobert

Whats a "dhow" or "feluccas"???

Man, I musta missed more than a few days in school...

B;~(


26 Jul 12 - 01:46 PM (#3381823)
Subject: RE: BS: Does Yer Junk Float???
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp

A dhow is a small wooden tradin' ship with lateen sails like they been usin' out of North Africa for the last coupla thousands years at least. A felucca is some other kinda small wooden ship, seems to me, and from the same general area...Mediterranean and North Africa. Them Barbary Pirates used to use dhows and fellucas, fer instance, but they also used bigger warships like Chebecs, Galleys, etc.

- Chongo


26 Jul 12 - 02:33 PM (#3381843)
Subject: RE: BS: Does Yer Junk Float???
From: John MacKenzie

You silly old felluca you.


26 Jul 12 - 07:26 PM (#3381977)
Subject: RE: BS: Does Yer Junk Float???
From: Bobert

Oh, I get it... Friggin' boats... They float, too... Well, the unsunk ones do...

B~