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16 Sep 12 - 03:17 PM (#3405782) Subject: BS: Long live Tommy Cooper! From: Bonzo3legs I went to the doctor's with a jelly and custard stuck in my ears. He asked, 'what seems to be the problem?' so I said, 'I'm a trifle deaf.' |
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16 Sep 12 - 03:43 PM (#3405787) Subject: RE: BS: Long live Tommy Cooper! From: Dave Hanson I slept like a log last night, I woke up in the fireplace this morning. Dave H |
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16 Sep 12 - 04:46 PM (#3405803) Subject: RE: BS: Long live Tommy Cooper! From: Dead Horse I dont know how he did it. |
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16 Sep 12 - 04:49 PM (#3405806) Subject: RE: BS: Long live Tommy Cooper! From: Abdul The Bul Bul I had a ploughmans lunch last night, he wasn't very happy about it. Al |
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16 Sep 12 - 07:28 PM (#3405863) Subject: RE: BS: Long live Tommy Cooper! From: Steve Shaw I went to the doctor. He said 'you've got a very serious illness'. I said 'I want a second opinion'. He said 'all right, you're ugly as well'. |
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17 Sep 12 - 05:32 AM (#3406030) Subject: RE: BS: Long live Tommy Cooper! From: Roger the Skiffler I said "Doctor I think I'm a pair of curtains" He said: "Pull yourself together". RtS (whose family regret buying him a TC joke book last Xmas) |
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17 Sep 12 - 05:36 AM (#3406033) Subject: RE: BS: Long live Tommy Cooper! From: Keith A of Hertford Two Aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married. The ceremony was rubbish but the Reception was Brilliant. -------------------------------------------------------------------- Man goes to the doc, with a strawberry growing out of his head. Doc says "I'll give you some cream to put on it." -------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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17 Sep 12 - 06:32 AM (#3406049) Subject: RE: BS: Long live Tommy Cooper! From: GUEST,Eliza I went to the doctor's. He said, "I'd like you to lie on the couch." I said, "What for?" He said, "I want to sweep the floor." |
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17 Sep 12 - 07:15 AM (#3406060) Subject: RE: BS: Long live Tommy Cooper! From: Bonzo3legs I went to the doctor's and asked for something for wind - so he gave me a kite! |
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17 Sep 12 - 07:32 AM (#3406068) Subject: RE: BS: Long live Tommy Cooper! From: Nigel Parsons From: Dead Horse - PM Date: 16 Sep 12 - 04:46 PM I dont know how he did it. It seems no-one's taking the bait! |
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17 Sep 12 - 07:50 AM (#3406079) Subject: RE: BS: Long live Tommy Cooper! From: Roger the Skiffler "Just like that" of course RtS |
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17 Sep 12 - 08:25 AM (#3406095) Subject: RE: BS: Long live Tommy Cooper! From: Musket Doctor, it hurts when I do this. Well stop doing it then. |
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17 Sep 12 - 08:28 AM (#3406098) Subject: RE: BS: Long live Tommy Cooper! From: Keith A of Hertford "So I rang up my local swimming baths. I said 'Is that the local swimming baths?' He said 'It depends where you're calling from.'" ---------------------------------------------------------------- "So I rang up a local building firm, I said 'I want a skip outside my house.' He said 'I'm not stopping you.' |
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17 Sep 12 - 08:36 AM (#3406103) Subject: RE: BS: Long live Tommy Cooper! From: Dead Horse At last. Now I can rest easy. Thank you Nigel & RtS :-) |
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17 Sep 12 - 05:48 PM (#3406387) Subject: RE: BS: Long live Tommy Cooper! From: gnu I went to a brothel today. There was a sign on the door : "Gone to lunch. Go fuck yerself." |
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17 Sep 12 - 06:07 PM (#3406399) Subject: RE: BS: Long live Tommy Cooper! From: Leadfingers A man walked into a bar - Said "OUCH!" - It was an Iron Bar |
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17 Sep 12 - 06:38 PM (#3406411) Subject: RE: BS: Long live Tommy Cooper! From: GUEST,Allen in OZ " My wife and I were cleaning the attic the other day. Filthy, dirty, covered in cob webs...but she's good with the kids " AD |
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17 Sep 12 - 06:59 PM (#3406424) Subject: RE: BS: Long live Tommy Cooper! From: gnu I told the wife that when she told me to fix something it would get done and not to nag me about it every six months. |
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17 Sep 12 - 07:15 PM (#3406433) Subject: RE: BS: Long live Tommy Cooper! From: Steve Shaw The doctor said to me "Say ahhh." I said "why?" He said "My dog's just died." |
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18 Sep 12 - 03:58 AM (#3406598) Subject: RE: BS: Long live Tommy Cooper! From: GUEST,Allen in OZ "I see that you have a Black belt in Judo" Yes I have " What did you have before that"? A Yellow belt " And before that"? A Red belt " And before that "? ......My pants fell down AD Dear Tommy |
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18 Sep 12 - 05:58 AM (#3406640) Subject: RE: BS: Long live Tommy Cooper! From: Dave Hanson Piss off gnu, Tommy Cooper NEVER used foul language. Dave H |
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18 Sep 12 - 06:31 AM (#3406644) Subject: RE: BS: Long live Tommy Cooper! From: Roger the Skiffler ..and one that should have been his, inspired by a home-made Missing poster on a local lampost. Next door's kid has lost his tortoise. I think I saw it yesterday but it was gone in a flash. Rts |
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18 Sep 12 - 10:45 AM (#3406742) Subject: RE: BS: Long live Tommy Cooper! From: Dave Hanson or, ' our postman is really cruel, he kicked a tortoise for following on his delivery ' Dave H |
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18 Sep 12 - 04:54 PM (#3406950) Subject: RE: BS: Long live Tommy Cooper! From: GUEST,Patmike Two blondes walked into a building. You'd think one of them would have seen it. |