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BS: Right way to say your Hail Chongo(s)

03 Dec 12 - 02:12 PM (#3446291)
Subject: BS: Right way to say your Hail Chongo(s)
From: Little Hawk

There has been some confusion lately about the exact wording of the Hail Chongo, a traditional prayer uttered by humans who are showing contrition for their sins of specism and their exclusionary thinking and behaviour, as well as for their sins in a more general sense.

According to the New International version of the Book of Kong, translated from its original Mangani, these are the words, in English:

Hail Chongo, full of grace, the Lord is with thee; blessed art thou amongst primates, and blessed is the fruit of thy table, as well as the whiskey in thy cupboard and the cigars in thy desk drawer. May thine ammo never run out. O Chongo, foremost among gumshoes, pray for us wretched sinners, now and at the hour of our death, whether it be by the knife, the fist, the gun, the noose or the bottle. Amen.


03 Dec 12 - 02:18 PM (#3446296)
Subject: RE: BS: Right way to say your Hail Chongo(s)
From: GUEST,olddude

I love you LH but not cool ... my rosary has bailed me and many sick catter out ... at least I think so


03 Dec 12 - 02:23 PM (#3446300)
Subject: RE: BS: Right way to say your Hail Chongo(s)
From: Little Hawk

I'm all for the real rosary, Dan. No problem with that. I do consider it a very meaningful prayer.

You see...Chongo and Rapparee have had a thing going on another thread about the Hail Chongo. Rap has been posting various insulting versions of it in his words with stuff in it about poopflinging, etc. I just wanted Rap to know the real words to it. Perhaps I should have posted it on that same thread rather than starting a new one.

If this concept really does trouble some of the people here, though, I don't mind the thread being closed, okay? Be advised, clones. Close it if you find it offensive.


03 Dec 12 - 02:23 PM (#3446301)
Subject: RE: BS: Right way to say your Hail Chongo(s)
From: Henry Krinkle

Blasphemy!
Do it right!
=(:-( 0)


03 Dec 12 - 02:43 PM (#3446309)
Subject: RE: BS: Right way to say your Hail Chongo(s)
From: Little Hawk

That was one great movie, Henry. A classic.


03 Dec 12 - 02:51 PM (#3446312)
Subject: RE: BS: Right way to say your Hail Chongo(s)
From: GUEST,olddude

got ya bro, well tell chongo the only hail he is gettin from me is the ice kind in a snowball form LOL


03 Dec 12 - 09:40 PM (#3446488)
Subject: RE: BS: Right way to say your Hail Chongo(s)
From: Rapparee

See, I was brought up Catholic, right from the git-go. Kindygarden, grade school with nuns, high school with Christian Brothers, college with Franciscans. Hell's bells, I got better than 21 semester hours of college-level theology and 12 years of grade school and high school "religion." I also got 21+ semester hours of philosophy. I've done read the "Summa" (yes, all of it, and I mean both the "Theologica" and the "Contra Gentiles"), St. John the Divine, the "Civitas Dei," Aquinas, Bonaventure, Origen, and all them old-time cats. Heck, I've even been to Knock and The Shrine of the Immaculate Conception in DC and I've driven past the road to Lourdes. Fer goodness' sakes, my wife used to work under the Golden Dome at, YES!, the University of Notre Dame du Lac, right there in Indiana and I used to (are you ready for this??) lector in the Basilica there. Me and the BVM are tight, man, just like me and her kid are.

Just now, was that lightni


03 Dec 12 - 09:46 PM (#3446495)
Subject: RE: BS: Right way to say your Hail Chongo(s)
From: Little Hawk

Uh-oh.


03 Dec 12 - 09:49 PM (#3446497)
Subject: RE: BS: Right way to say your Hail Chongo(s)
From: Joe Offer

I dunno, Hawk, this Chongo thing is even more boring than saying the real Hail Mary 53 times. And if you say it 53 times, what is it? - a Chongary? Are you really expecting the NFL to have "Hail Chongo passes"?

-Joe, with hundreds of thousands of Hail Marys under his belt-
(not so much recently, though...)


04 Dec 12 - 12:39 AM (#3446548)
Subject: RE: BS: Right way to say your Hail Chongo(s)
From: Little Hawk

You find it boring? Well, that's because you lack faith, Joe. ;-) Look, there are a lot of apes and monkeys in the APP who base their whole lives around the Hail Chongo, and thus they find strength and meaning that carries them through their busy days.

Now, I'm not saying I follow that creed. I don't. I'm just reporting on it, that's all. The Hail Mary is much more to my taste than the Hail Chongo. Of course, I'm not an ape. Also...I've seen Chongo when he was hungover. Not a pretty sight, lemme tell you.


04 Dec 12 - 09:52 AM (#3446784)
Subject: RE: BS: Right way to say your Hail Chongo(s)
From: Pete Jennings

Hail Chongo.

You can't miss him - he's the idiot who walks on his hands and carries stuff with his feet!


04 Dec 12 - 10:09 AM (#3446792)
Subject: RE: BS: Right way to say your Hail Chongo(s)
From: Henry Krinkle

An orangutan?
=(:-( 0)


04 Dec 12 - 10:10 AM (#3446793)
Subject: RE: BS: Right way to say your Hail Chongo(s)
From: Rapparee

Hail, Chongo
Full of lead
The Gorillas finally got thee.
Amen.


04 Dec 12 - 02:20 PM (#3446976)
Subject: RE: BS: Right way to say your Hail Chongo(s)
From: GUEST,Stim

From what I've read, Little Hawk, "Hail Chongo" is a mistranslation of the blood oath originally used when made chimps swore their allegiance to the "Chimpo tutti Chimpi" of the Mangani crime family.


04 Dec 12 - 02:32 PM (#3446983)
Subject: RE: BS: Right way to say your Hail Chongo(s)
From: Little Hawk

Hmmm. Interesting point, Stim. I'll have to look into that.