To Thread - Forum Home

The Mudcat Café TM
https://mudcat.org/thread.cfm?threadid=148952
123 messages

BS: gnu retires

08 Jan 13 - 03:25 PM (#3463246)
Subject: BS: gnu retires
From: gnu

Sent off the letter to my association today so I only have to pay 1/4 annual dues. That's it. My engineering career is over. I am moving on to greater endeavours than building the infrastructure that comforts mankind and allows it to prosper at higher levels and gives it more comfort. I shall ba at Walmart first thing on the morrow and apply for a job as greeter. I am looking forward to getting my blue vest.


08 Jan 13 - 03:27 PM (#3463248)
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: GUEST,999

You will be a wonderful greeter, gnu. Congratulations, btw.


08 Jan 13 - 03:32 PM (#3463252)
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: fat B****rd

All the very best in your future career.
Charlie


08 Jan 13 - 03:41 PM (#3463259)
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: maeve

It'd be worth walking into a Walmart to shake your hand, gnu. Congrats...have some fun, eh?

Maeve


08 Jan 13 - 03:44 PM (#3463261)
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: Ed T

What type of tires are you going to "retire" with, Nixen? Muds, M and S, all season, summer touring or the sport vehicle type?

I would be cautious about any of those chinese made Walmart type.:)


08 Jan 13 - 03:46 PM (#3463263)
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: ChanteyLass

Enjoy your retirement!


08 Jan 13 - 03:52 PM (#3463267)
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: Jack the Sailor

Enjoy your retirement.


08 Jan 13 - 03:55 PM (#3463270)
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: Ed T

As they say elsewhere, have a good retyrement, with a gnu outlook on life.


08 Jan 13 - 04:01 PM (#3463273)
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: John MacKenzie

But you've always, been a shy and retiring chap, g.


08 Jan 13 - 04:04 PM (#3463275)
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: GUEST,Blind Drunk in Blind River

Flippin' A, man! Now you can, like, have a lotta leezure time like I do, eh? Maybe even move back by Dale and the boys and do some seeryous partyin'! Or visit Don and me in Blind River. Don't forget to bring lotsa beer when you come, eh?

- Shane


08 Jan 13 - 04:08 PM (#3463277)
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: olddude

Oh yea fishing time my brother


08 Jan 13 - 04:18 PM (#3463279)
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: bobad

Welcome to the ranks of the idle slackers.


08 Jan 13 - 04:39 PM (#3463286)
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: Leadfingers

Best of luck mate !!


08 Jan 13 - 04:53 PM (#3463289)
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: Beer

I can just picture you as a greeter at Wal-Mart. OMG, look out ladies and anyone with an attitude.....Gnu will take of you. Follow me please to this back private room for some quality time with me.

Here is to you.
Adrien


08 Jan 13 - 04:55 PM (#3463291)
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: Ed T

""Buffy Gilmore: Oh, is this the climax?
Well, I hope you don't mind if I fake it!""
:Scary movie quote

gnu, hop'in this is not the climax of your life - it gets much better!
(Likely so, as I am a - hope'in-it's so
I will tell you if I find out first
tell me - if you find out first)   

:)


08 Jan 13 - 04:59 PM (#3463294)
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: Sandra in Sydney

On Thursday it will be 5 years & 11 months since I retired, but who's counting!

Wishing gnou the best of times!

sandra


08 Jan 13 - 04:59 PM (#3463295)
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: Jeri

Do you have to hang a sign on your ice fishing shanty when you go to W*Mart that says "gone workin'"?

Here's wishing you success in whatever you do next - be happy!


08 Jan 13 - 05:10 PM (#3463302)
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: gnu

Fishin? Visitin? Nah. Besides my 36 hours a week at Wallyworld, I'll be busy writin letters. Now that I got nuthin ta lose besides my blue vest, I shall be free to write letters to the editors of various newspapers on various topics. Like pollyticians and their natural gas. Like jackin the price of medical maryjane from $0 a year to $28,000 a year for a lot of people who need it and can't even work due to illness or being physically disabled to boot so that large drug companies can pay off them there pollyticians. Like The Hair destroying our good gun laws while keeping the bad gun laws on the books. Like the bullshit at our hospitals where CATs and MRIs sit idle for hours per day because they are only used for emergencies while private clinics get $850 per scan. Like a strip club being allwed withing spitting distance from a high scool. Like office clerks with a high school education getting over $80,000 a year at age 55, full benefits, 6 weeks vacation and work 6.5... SIX AND A HALF fuckin hours a day! And REALLY important stuff like having our moose hunt at the end of September in hot weather (yet again, I don't hunt so leave me alone).

Yup. I got me a lot a rantin and ravin ta do and, as alluded to above, I been known to have some experience in that regard... good and bad.

Gee... I think I just ranted and raved a lot. Nuthin gnu, eh?


08 Jan 13 - 05:20 PM (#3463307)
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: Ed T

""Yup. I got me a lot a rutting to do"":)


08 Jan 13 - 05:30 PM (#3463312)
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: Bobert

You ain't foolin' this ol' hillbilly, gn-ze... You just want to gawk at the chicks enterin' and exitin' Walmart...

Enjoy...

B~


08 Jan 13 - 05:39 PM (#3463320)
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: bobad

A little something to whet your appetite for your new job "people of Wal-Mart" .....betcha can't wait.


08 Jan 13 - 05:51 PM (#3463325)
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: GUEST,Eliza

Congratulations gnu, and lots of good wishes for happiness in your 'gnu' life. Eliza x


08 Jan 13 - 05:56 PM (#3463326)
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: Bill D

Re: "People of Walmart"

uuuuuurrrrkkkkkkk.........

I KNEW there was a reason I never go there....


08 Jan 13 - 06:35 PM (#3463340)
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: gnu

Re: "People of Walmart"

I got guns and they sell ammo. Maybe they will gimmie free ammo? That'll keep the freaks in line... "Ah, noooo, not you. Go home and put some PUBLIC clothes on ya FREAK!" JAYSUS! That shit is scarey! At best.

BTW... for Canucks. If ya turn yer pension stuff at a bank into a Life Income Fund er Life Income Plan er whatever YER bank calls it (my FA calls it different names in the same phone call but I record all phone calls) and ya take out the minimum amount, no tax is taken at source. Whatever ya take out between min and max is taxed at source at 10%. I did not know that. AND, ya can take out twice the max in one year, once. Since I have this odd feelin I ain't gonna see my 90th year... partaaaay!


08 Jan 13 - 06:45 PM (#3463344)
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: Dave the Gnome

Did you just say I got gnus and they sell ammo?

Well, I hope you go out with a bnag...

:D tG


08 Jan 13 - 07:04 PM (#3463361)
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: Ed T

When I read the title first, I feared gnu was retiring from Mudcat, in frustration with something we said or did to piss him off.

Happy that it was not to be so.

Later I realized that he is partly (or mostly) Irish. So, if we pissed him off, it would be more likely for him to stay and fight on :)


08 Jan 13 - 07:10 PM (#3463365)
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: Ed T

Like a true Irishman, gnu would rather fight than run (with his goooy-duck tucked between his legs).


08 Jan 13 - 07:13 PM (#3463366)
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: Sandy Mc Lean

Best of luck with it by friend!


08 Jan 13 - 07:16 PM (#3463368)
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: gnu

If I had a gooey duck, I wouldn't be here... I'd be in sunny Calleeforeeahhh makin movies and sweet young things and $$$. Not retired.


08 Jan 13 - 07:16 PM (#3463369)
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: freda underhill

Hey, gnu, what great gnus!! welcome to the world of gnu-ly retired catters - and here's something to think about for the gnu phase of your life!

freda


08 Jan 13 - 08:13 PM (#3463387)
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: Rapparee

So, you're going to be among the unemployed.

They need people in North Dakota in the oil fields. You'd make a good ginzel, pigging and fishing, maybe even get yourself a frac job.


08 Jan 13 - 08:18 PM (#3463389)
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: Janie

I am too jealous to offer congrats.

So there!!!!


08 Jan 13 - 10:03 PM (#3463422)
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: Beer

Gnu, one GooeyDuck would be enough for you.
ad.


08 Jan 13 - 10:22 PM (#3463427)
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: Little Hawk

WalMart is definitely NOT where you go to girl-watch! In fact, it's about the last place in that respect.


08 Jan 13 - 10:39 PM (#3463432)
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: Beer

Little Hawk is right you know. He is being serious and to follow up on this I would like to offer a suggestion in working at the refrigeration meat counter. Especially in the summer. Lots to choose from. I.G. A. Sobeys, Loblaws, etc. Stay away from Walmart.
Here is a thought for the summer months. Take a course now and by summer you could be a life guard.
ad.


09 Jan 13 - 09:59 AM (#3463577)
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: MikeL2

Hi Gnu

Happy retirement - already ???!!!!

This may change my whole perspective of Greeters. Normally I think of them as nosey b....rs.

Cheers

Mikel2


09 Jan 13 - 10:19 AM (#3463583)
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: Pete Jennings

Hang on a cotton-pickin' minute. You've retired from being a ginger beer an' you're getting a job as a greeter at Walmart??

That ain't retirement, it's changing yer job! Forget Walmart, stick to writin' them letters - it's surely your vocation...

LOL, good luck. Pete.


09 Jan 13 - 11:16 AM (#3463596)
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: Charmion

Hey, gnu --

I'm on the count-down myself: as of this hot second, 17 and a half working days to go as a civil servant of the Department of National Defence. I have already schlepped most of my reference books back home -- who knew I had three different editions of Fowler's English Usage?

Perhaps we'll be colleagues at Wally World!


09 Jan 13 - 11:24 AM (#3463600)
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: Beer

Let us know exactly when Charmion so we can pick on you.
Ad.


09 Jan 13 - 11:25 AM (#3463601)
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: Charley Noble

gnu-

Now you're really gonna get busy.

Watch out for the undertow!

Cheerily,
Charley Noble (retired but not RIP)


09 Jan 13 - 11:53 AM (#3463609)
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: Ed T

Maybe you could do some clam digging at Grand Dique? Or, bird watching on Parlee Beach od Sandy Beach. But, then again those are summer exploits.


09 Jan 13 - 12:04 PM (#3463615)
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: Ed T

""I don't see much sense in that," said Rabbit.
"No," said Pooh humbly, "there isn't. But there was going to be when I began it. It's just that something happened to it along the way.""   

Winnie the Pooh (maybe reflection on some aspects of careers at retirement:)


09 Jan 13 - 12:30 PM (#3463623)
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: Ebbie

Gary, come clean!


09 Jan 13 - 12:35 PM (#3463625)
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: Ed T

""You know, life's funny that way. Once you let go of the wheel, you might end up right where you belong."" Movie quote
, Little Black Book


09 Jan 13 - 02:37 PM (#3463662)
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: GUEST

Wal Mart? that is so beneath you!


09 Jan 13 - 03:12 PM (#3463682)
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: gnu

Ebbie... I got a half dozen responses to that and each one would offend somebody!


09 Jan 13 - 03:39 PM (#3463690)
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: GUEST,Charmion's brother Andrew

All the best in retirement, Gnu. That said, you and my sister will never see me in Wal-Mart union-busting bastards! .


09 Jan 13 - 04:13 PM (#3463699)
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: gnu

GREAT news! Just got a call from the head of human resources (yeah, that's what I thought) at Walnuts. They reviewed my application and, seeing that I did three two month summer stints* at Kmart when I was a teenager, I have been granted a "personal assessment" interview. I go tomorrow. One step closer to the coveted blue vest.

Stockboy (when we had no equipment and had to manhandle everything from feathers to stuff weighing way more than a man should lift), receiver checker/pricer and sporting goods sales man... I am the guy that sold all that fishing gear to the guy I met in the pharmacy buying sanitary napkins. So, I am a shoe-in for many positions! Life it GREAT!


09 Jan 13 - 05:57 PM (#3463735)
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: JennieG

Weeelllll......depends on your definition of "great"?

Looks as though we miss out on ~ something ~ by not having Wally World here in Oz. While staying in North Bay (Ont.) with friends we went to Wallies and I did make a couple of small purchases, items that I would never find here in a million years. Assuming I live that long.

Enjoy your sojourn with Wally, may it be long and beneficial!

Cheers
JennieG


09 Jan 13 - 06:21 PM (#3463742)
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: gnu

I hedged my bets in case I don't score a plum job at Waltwits right away. I celebrated with a retirement gift from me... a PVR. I have just been messin with it. I can record two TV channels at once! I can record an entire series of a TV show. It's all automatic. So, I can flick in anytime I want and walk on the electric powered treadmill (gotta have a machine in Canuckistan on accounta it don't snow in the living room and the temp is 12C and there is NO blowing snow).

If I don't get the job at Walfuckthepoor, I'll get my exercise and be able to keep current with the news by recording The Daily Show every NIGHT automatically! Dunno about The Colbert Report... he's kinda too Republican fer me.


09 Jan 13 - 06:22 PM (#3463743)
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: John MacKenzie

Where's Wally?


09 Jan 13 - 06:26 PM (#3463745)
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: Jack the Sailor

"The Colbert Report... he's kinda too Republican fer me."

George W Bush thought that. Then he hired him for the press club ball and got skewered.


09 Jan 13 - 06:53 PM (#3463758)
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: number 6

I'm now a full time house husband

biLL


09 Jan 13 - 06:54 PM (#3463761)
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: number 6

Oh ... I forgot... gnu .... congrats .... now you can refuse entry to all those people that have caused you a lot of grief.

biLL


09 Jan 13 - 06:58 PM (#3463766)
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: Ed T

We are sneaking up in numbers to the LH "thinking chickenz" thread.

Keep it up.


09 Jan 13 - 08:40 PM (#3463800)
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: Rapparee

Other places need greeters as much as Wallfart does.


09 Jan 13 - 09:07 PM (#3463811)
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: Ed T

How about a greeter at Hooters?


09 Jan 13 - 09:13 PM (#3463817)
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: Alice

Congratulations, gnu!


09 Jan 13 - 09:19 PM (#3463818)
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: Bobert

Yo, gn-ze...

Maybe you could get a job at Victoria Secret in some mall... I'm sure there are a bunch of hotties that need a "man's advice" as to which G-string looks better on 'um...

I donno???

B;~)


09 Jan 13 - 10:51 PM (#3463834)
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: Little Hawk

That is an inspired notion. And I think gnu is admirably suited for such a position.


10 Jan 13 - 04:34 AM (#3463864)
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: John MacKenzie

Do Budweiser have any openings g?


10 Jan 13 - 07:53 AM (#3463889)
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: Charley Noble

Transcript of the Interview:

Knock, knock!

"Who's there?"

"Gnu!"

"Gnu, who?"

It's all downhill from there...

Cheerily,
Charley Noble


10 Jan 13 - 11:42 AM (#3463993)
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: Little Hawk

"So, what's gnu?"


10 Jan 13 - 12:30 PM (#3464021)
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: Bill D

It may be more fun studying greeters than being one.


10 Jan 13 - 12:34 PM (#3464024)
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: Bill D

I take it back.. YOU may be eminently suited for the job.


10 Jan 13 - 12:59 PM (#3464037)
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: Pete Jennings

Seems a lot of trouble just to get a blue vest...


10 Jan 13 - 01:04 PM (#3464039)
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: John MacKenzie

So were you tired before?


10 Jan 13 - 01:05 PM (#3464040)
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: Ed T

I once bought a car that my neighbour was retiring.

When I asked him about his old, used car. He replied that I should not look at it that way that, "you should not see it as old or overly used, but just that it is just "gnu-to-you".


10 Jan 13 - 04:03 PM (#3464140)
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: Beer

Dead on Walter.
Good laugh Bill.
ad.


10 Jan 13 - 04:29 PM (#3464150)
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: Nigel Paterson

Gnu, I need to know which Walmart so I can get my hug & pat on the back!
       Wishing you the happiest of retirements, you deserve it,
                            Love & Hugs,
                                              Nigel.


10 Jan 13 - 04:45 PM (#3464154)
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: gnu

Mustang ranch sounds good, Rap. But, In all the h/motels I stayed at, the rule from the manager regarding partying with the staff was, "Don't fuck any of the staff." and I assume it's the same at the ranch, moreso for employees.

John, not gonna work at Bud but I do have my app in for the NB Liquor Commission. I figure it would save me a shitload in gas.

Bobert... hahahahaa... the reason I find that sooo funny is that during my second summer of work at Kmart, I was receiver-checker for TWO departments (17 year old kid relaces 2 grown men - pissed off a bunch of people) and one was ladies wear. When I had slack time (on accounta I was a hard worker) the dept manager would say to me, "Go get the blue light, lad and we'll have some fun." He "took me under his wing." >;-) I'd get the rig with the revolving blue light and he would announce a "blue light special" on the PA. Dresses or whatever but the best was swimsuits. I'd haul some racks near the dressing room and put up the sign for cheap stuff. Ladies would come, try stuff on, walk OUT of the rooms because there was only one mirror. They would ask a man's opinion and Mr. Mills would always say, "I think one or two sizes smaller would look much better." And it did!

I did the pension paperwork done today and I get my first pension cheque issued and mailed Jan 25... BUT... the gubmit does not differentiate between the min and max withdrawl in my "Life Income Fund" in year one so the bastards get 20% at source so I can't play the low income game until next year. So the tour of Antarctica will have to wait.

NOW! for the BIG news. I shall don the Blue Vest on Monday after I see my ENT. Buddy just said, "Greeter? Why?" I asked if there was an opening in sporting goods. Not right now. "Do I get first shot?" Of course he said yes. "Can I be a greeter a few shifts a week until then?" We shook on it. Now I gotta find some pins. All I have is my Irish Association of NB pin. A greeter has to have a LOTTA pins on his vest if he is gonna look cool for the laaadies, eh?


10 Jan 13 - 04:48 PM (#3464157)
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: Little Hawk

Shane probably has a whole lot of hot tips on how you can chat up the women, gnu. He considers himself the world's foremost authority on that.


10 Jan 13 - 05:16 PM (#3464172)
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: Bobert

I lovin' it, gn-ze... The feets is gonna hurt tho so be sure to get some Dr Scholls inserts for all that standin'... Also, be sure to get the latest tie-pin camera so ya' can snap a few cuties comin'...

...an' goin'... Get my drift here???

Also, no matter how much you might want to say "Nice tits" to some hottie that ain't yer job and could get ya' in trouble so...

...refrain, if you possibly can...

B;~)


10 Jan 13 - 05:21 PM (#3464175)
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: gnu

Bobert... but I can still look, right? Maybe sunglasses? Hey, I need them for my eye problem, eh? What eye problem? Staring at nice tits... it's not really a problem for me but?


10 Jan 13 - 07:01 PM (#3464231)
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: frogprince

Have you considered getting a little mirror to put on top of one of your shoes?


10 Jan 13 - 07:05 PM (#3464233)
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: Bobert

Of course he has, f-prince...

B;~)


10 Jan 13 - 07:22 PM (#3464243)
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: framus

Enjoy a long and lecherous retirement - fight again soon!


10 Jan 13 - 07:27 PM (#3464247)
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: Ed T

Nothing could be sweeter than to see the gnu greeter,
at the walmart.
He'll smile and greet the ladies, and then check out their titties,
at the walmart.


10 Jan 13 - 09:33 PM (#3464333)
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: gnu

Froggy... us lads from Kent County don't need no mirrors! We justs shines up our gum rubber boots.

Minds me... I was at a dance up Kent County and I was askin the lasses fer a kiss if I could tell the colour of their panties after a dance. I was gettin kisses galore! on accounta I had me brand new gummies spiffy shined up. WAXED! fer the dance!

Well, seems them lasses got ta talkin in the wee lasses room an one that I hadn't danced with says she'll fix me an she takes her panties off. I asked her ta dance and when I made the offer and she accepted and when I snuck a peek at me gummies fer ta tell the colour of er panties I passed out... fainted dead away me son!

I woke up when someone threw cold water in me face and, first thing, I looked at me gummies and said, "Oh, thank Jaysus. I thought I had a crack in me new rubber boots."


10 Jan 13 - 09:43 PM (#3464338)
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: gnu

ollaimh... fuck off you ignorant piece of shit... call me racist one more time with no basis, as you have done before, and I will fuck you over... I will make it my FULL time job in my retirement you fucking asshole. I am well educated, intelligent NOT racist and *I* have some fucking manners.

That don't mean I wouldn't kick your ass if you talked to me like that in person you trash.


11 Jan 13 - 12:49 AM (#3464385)
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: Crowhugger

Annnywayz on a cheerier note:
Way to go, I'm so happy for you, gnu! And if, in a moment of weakness I should stroll into your greeting zone, please toss me right back out the door, being sure to kick my behind firmly enough to bring me back to my sense!


11 Jan 13 - 03:51 AM (#3464408)
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: Megan L

Gnu behave yersel or ah'll gie ye a skelp ahve telt ye afore no tae bite trolls spit it oot they diny taste good and are usually poisononous.

Everybody but everybody knows Gnus roots are in Ireland it would appear Ollaimh has heard too many musichall Irish jokes which are very racist.

By the way lad happy retirement better of getting a job in the library the lassies stand still longer


11 Jan 13 - 04:10 AM (#3464412)
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: Alaska Mike

Welcome to the good life, gnu. If you ever get down to the gulf coast of Florida, I've always got a spare bedroom and an ice cold, home made brewski. Congrats!

BTW, who the hell is this dickwad, Ollaimh? Let me know if I can hold him for you.


11 Jan 13 - 01:20 PM (#3464575)
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: gnu

Thanks for all the well wishes and congrats.

Megan... me" behave" Of course I will... you know me.

Alaska Mike! Nice to hear from you. Not too often we do. Even IF I needed someone to hold him, it wouldl't be right for you to do it... the pissmire would probably die of fright. I know I wouldn't want those bear paws on ME! Florida sounds reeeeal good for the very reasons you lest WaaaaayUP there.

One of my curling buddies has offered to lend me a load pins he collected all over Canuckistan but I refused. What if I got mugged in the parking lot for my Blue Vest and lost all his pins? I'd be devastated!


12 Jan 13 - 01:52 AM (#3464875)
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: skarpi

dear friend , enjoy your new job ...it has a lot of life :) ...

all the best Skarpi Iceland .


12 Jan 13 - 04:59 PM (#3465126)
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: gnu

Well! So much for that!

I got a call from my "new" boss. The Greeter supposed to come at 4PM today called in sick... could I come in and work 4 to 10PM and we'd do the paperwork Monday? I said 4:30 and it was a deal. I was excited!

I got my Blue Vest and started smiling. At 5PM, my new boss's young... ahhh... whatever the hell manager he is... says... "Somebody just puked all over a sink in the men's room. Grab the cart from the janitor's closet and clean it." I said that I didn't think that whs what I was hired to do, that I am a greeter. He said it's part of "other duties as assigned from time to time." I asked why the janitor couldn't do it. Gone to supper. I asked why a stockboy or a cart boy couldn't do it. He said, "Do it." and walked away. Now. I am 55 years old and I know what that shit is about.

I went to the locker room, got my jacket, left my key in the lock and walked away too. Did't say shit to anyone. Called me Mum and told her. She said, "Well, you can watch the football." ???!!! I forgot that after US college football is over, NFL football is played on Saturday TOO!. So, the game is on my TV, I am having an ale, and I am watchin the game as a Sharp Dressed Man. .

Tomorrow, I shall explore other alternatives. I was thinking about seeing a career consultant but those guys are just bullshit artists who tell you... hey!...YEAH!... a career in being a career consultant! I am GAME! I am definitely qualified. Not on the scale of some the emminently qualified bullshit artists that grace this forum with their, ahhh, musings, but I can hold a candle to their farts and illuminate.

Now THAT was a bullshit call... it was a SCORING PLAY and there was pass ineteference and they DID NOT REVIEW IT? WTF are the RULES for if ya don't follow them?

I like being retired. Fuck Walmart.


12 Jan 13 - 05:30 PM (#3465145)
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: Bobert

I hate to say it, gn-ze, but I knew you weren't Walmart material... Too many I.Q. points bouncing 'round in yer squash...

I mean, let's examine exactly what it was you liked about being a Walmart greeter... Let's see... Oh yeah, chicks... I think you need to check out the department stores and maybe work in the woman's shoe department... They won't hire you to work the undies department so forget that idea... Feets ain't bad... Okay, sometimes they are... But most okay... And some, like, ahhhhh, really okay...

And no puke...

Here's another idea... Drive a cab... You get to set yer own hours pretty much and you will meet some chicks...

B~


12 Jan 13 - 06:35 PM (#3465179)
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: gnu

I got offered $60 cash for an 8 hour shift drivin cab from a buddy. I said coool... 4AM to noon? He said late night to whenever. I said, same deal as when you asked me to (YEARS ago) play Rhan and sing and tell jokes to spell you off on your gigs and wouldn't pay me shit???... no thanks at any money will I drive cab at night, Bobert... that's a good way to meet the kinda girls I dono't go wit and riff-raff. Fookin Irish, eh?

Women's shoes? Nahhh... bad knees. Even if I could look up their skirts... >;-)


12 Jan 13 - 06:46 PM (#3465182)
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: Bobert

Danged, gn-ze... Bummer...

I'll keep thinkin' of stuff... I still like the cab driver idea... I did it my first year in college... It was real flexible... I picked my hours... The only thing the cab company required was you had to check out the cab for at least 4 hours...

Airport cab companies are safe...

B~


13 Jan 13 - 05:12 AM (#3465334)
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: John MacKenzie

Gotta know where y'all are going to drive a cab. g ain't made up his mind yet ;)


18 Jan 13 - 05:50 PM (#3468276)
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: gnu

Got my first pension cheque yesterday. Bought a bunch of beer and snacks for the retirement party. Went to the bank to deposit it. It's postdated 25 Jan... but the beer was cold and the wings were fresh so I considered them NOWdated. I am having leftovers as I type. Well, wings. Had ta buy fresh beer. The leftover stuff was stale. >;-)


31 Jan 13 - 05:57 PM (#3474063)
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: freda underhill

how's it going there in re-tirement land gnu? glad you ditched the spew + I'm looking forward to your next exciting adventure.


31 Jan 13 - 06:13 PM (#3474070)
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: Bobert

Here's another idea, gn-ze...

Male escort service... There are plenty of ol' broads out there who need a little eye candy to escort them to parties, shoppin', etc...

Just remember to say "no" when they take you shopping and ask you if the dress they are trying on makes their butt look big...

B;~)


31 Jan 13 - 06:48 PM (#3474087)
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: Ed T

Did you celebrate your personal retirement party in the nude?


31 Jan 13 - 06:57 PM (#3474090)
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: GUEST

REtirement land has sucked for the past six hours or so... another PC crash. I am on on old machine I had to update and update and coaz and kick to get to my email and from there... an HOUR to get here.

I gave up on seekin employment until after the Stupidbowl on Sunday.... well... it may be Tuesday or later depeding on how good the "game" is.

Bobert... I got the shopping thing down as far as groceries go. I know the price of all staples and hundreds of items at the the big three. And, as fer big butts, well, I was a receiver-checker for men's and lady's wear departments at Kmart for two months as I replaced the r-cs of those departments the summer I was 17 years old. Wrote about it here before.... always got my work done no sweat and Mr. Miller, manager of lady's wear, would put on a blue light special and we would stand near the dressing rooms. Swimsuits specials and sun dress specials and HALTER & TUBETOP specials were my favs. The lasses would come out and say, "I need a man's opinion?" Mr. Miller would say, "You could easily wear a size smaller... probably two sizes smaller." You do the math!


31 Jan 13 - 09:34 PM (#3474163)
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: Donuel

If you are an an inventive engineer with a conscience you might easily out do President Carter and his work with habitat for humanity.

Are there needs you have thought of fullfilling?

Prankster? hint: posting professional signs of a Walmart coming soon to this location along with a fake county zoning exception notification, and putting them in swanky neighborhoods or historic parklands.

Design the gravity electric generator that charges solar systems at night or simply light areas at night?

Engineer a psych adversity training device that would prevent men from saying anything really stupid about women?


31 Jan 13 - 11:32 PM (#3474212)
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: Sandra in Sydney

excellent ideas, Donuel

sandra


01 Feb 13 - 04:22 AM (#3474253)
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: Amos

Design a monster chomper that can take a landfill and turn it into vaporized particles which it then sorts into bins for reuse, hey? A marine drive that works off salt, and hydrogen, hey? A rooftile that harvests energy,, hey? A improved tidal generator, hey?

Brains like your are a terrible thing to waste.


01 Feb 13 - 12:22 PM (#3474456)
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: Ebbie

In retirement I have contemplated applying for a demo job in our local Costco. Not sure what it pays - beginning wage for a Costco worker is $17 but demo folks actually work for a contractor, not Costco itself.

Beats being a greeter, and allows for a personality.


01 Feb 13 - 12:34 PM (#3474462)
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: Bill D

"...allows for a personality."

Umm... there's such a thing as 'too much personality'.


01 Feb 13 - 03:53 PM (#3474568)
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: Stilly River Sage

I suspect that you might cover gas money to and from work for what a contractor pays at Costco or Sam's Club.

I know what you could invent - a special white paint to spray on the world's glaciers to reflect sunlight so they won't melt so fast!

SRS


01 Feb 13 - 09:01 PM (#3474693)
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: gnu

I haven't got time for anything except FIGHTING and CLAWING my way through Windows 8 on my new laptop... 6 hours to get IE10 to show up -aaaaggggghhhhhhhh. I am sure it is very simple if you know how to do it. Otherwise, silly old gits like me think... click IE on the start up screen... nope... not a hope. Ya get "This here is great!" but ya don't get it.

Explanation : I won the NB Power lotto last night. I had a PC problem earlier in the week and it went from bad to good to worse. I lost the first NBEPC lotto last night but the second time the power went out... I won a new laptop with Windows 8! Cost me about $740.


01 Feb 13 - 09:05 PM (#3474694)
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: gnu

BTW... with IE10 and WIN8... when I type in this box, the spellcheck works. That's gonna help with all my typos but it's gonna slow me down.


01 Feb 13 - 11:49 PM (#3474745)
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: Stilly River Sage

I've had this page floating around, waiting to read it today. Perhaps it will help you.

IE 10 is more secure, so here's a Microsoft tool to prevent you updating by mistake.

SRS


13 Feb 13 - 06:17 PM (#3479257)
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: gnu

Well. Having worked for an awful PRICK of a boss since 1996.01.03, the day I was officially self-employed, I looked forward to retirement. I ran my consultant engineering company with one employee and he worked like the dog I mushed.

I recently held a retirement party for him and gave him something he should have had for a while... the perfect gift. When he is using the oven in his stove, he can't see the time on the stove clock and, since the piece of shit microwave oven clock stopped keeping the correct time after only 25 years (ya can't but good quip anymore, can ya?!), it's a bother so I bought him a new kitchen clock and presented it to him at the big retirement bash! He programmed it and installed it on the weekend and posted a pick of it on
flickr.


13 Feb 13 - 07:19 PM (#3479287)
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: Sandra in Sydney

wot an excellent pressie!

good clear face, unlike the clock I bought myself recently - dunno why I didn't notice it had a dark background, but I can still read it.

sandra


13 Feb 13 - 08:58 PM (#3479342)
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: Charmion

Now that's what I call a CLOCK!


13 Feb 13 - 09:21 PM (#3479351)
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: Bobert

I hear that the Vatican has an opening, Gn-ze...

B~


13 Feb 13 - 09:29 PM (#3479353)
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: gnu

Bobert... ganew the first? I'd make some changes and even more so than Bro Joe (see the other thread). But... I just wanna retire an RElax and sing an write and banter with peeps like youse.


14 Feb 13 - 08:29 AM (#3479511)
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: Pete Jennings

Selfish old git. Don't you know the world needs you?


15 Feb 13 - 08:21 AM (#3479948)
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: Charley Noble

gnu-

So when do you travel south for a visit?

Cheerily,
Charley Noble


15 Feb 13 - 11:14 PM (#3480237)
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: ChanteyLass

gnu, Charley asks a good question. I think it would be great if you stopped in Maine on your way to or from Rhode Island!


20 Feb 13 - 07:02 PM (#3481809)
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: gnu

South for a visit?

Many know... I am housebound for the foreseeable future due to family commitments.

Now... the only reason I checked back into this thread is (and, I am glad I did - thanks for the nice comments)... PETE DIED! When I had my VERY brief stint in the coveted Blue Vest, Pete was the guy that showed me the ropes. Only for four hours but I knew him as he sometimes attended St. Bernard's which is where I met him years back.

RIP Pete.

SOB! I just talked to him a few of weeks ago! I don't go to Walmart all that often... usually just to go for a walk inside, out of the cold and wind and look at the young ladies which seem to abound in such stores.

Yes... I am a dirty old man. What's wrong with that? I don't harass any of them. I just long for my youth.


20 Feb 13 - 07:59 PM (#3481831)
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: Bobert

Okay, you sucked at being a Walmart greeter because you wouldn't do mop duty...

You say that yer arthritis is too bad to sell women shoes...

You don't want to be pope...

Guess that leaves only two choices: just another bum in the park or...

...president of the United States...

Whaddayathink??? Yeah, I know that yer supposed to be American citizen... No problem... I'll hook you up with the guy that did Obama's birth certificate... Ya' know, you do look like you were born in Montana...

B;~)


20 Feb 13 - 08:34 PM (#3481845)
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: gnu

US Prez? I dunno. Seems like a lot of hours. 24/7/365 on call? I did that on call shit from 8AM to 10PM 7/7 when I worked for me and I hated it. Besides... no one in politics would support me as I am for gun control, for equality control, for health care control, for fair wages control, for environmental control, for... ain't no way to get control of big money so ain't no way to get any control in politics. That there's gonna take a young man with a gun according to history and the newspapers I read every day lately.


20 Feb 13 - 08:41 PM (#3481850)
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: Bobert

Yeah, yer right...

I'll keep in the case...

B~


20 Feb 13 - 09:03 PM (#3481854)
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: gnu

Say, Bobert... maybe I was too hasty... what kinda coin does a bum in the park make? What are the hours?... flexie-hours? What's the benefit package like? Do I need a union ticket? Do I have to take courses? So many questions. I need more details before I turn down being "Leader of The Free World."


21 Feb 13 - 05:44 PM (#3482197)
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: ChanteyLass

I am sorry about Pete, gnu.


21 Feb 13 - 09:20 PM (#3482261)
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: gnu

Thanks, Lass. He wasn't a close buddy but he was a cool dude.


26 Feb 13 - 05:18 PM (#3484023)
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: gnu

Another retirement gift arrived today! A while back, I gave up the recliner and put a glider rocker halfway to the TV so I could read the guide and such on my TV. Moving it back to where it was shortly and returning to comfort. Cashed my second pension cheque yesterday and got this on sale. Sure beats the old CRT clunker.

The retirement party continues.


26 Feb 13 - 06:13 PM (#3484035)
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: frogprince

47"??? You'll never keep up with the Jonzes that way; surely you thought you were ordering the 74", didn't ya?


26 Feb 13 - 06:41 PM (#3484044)
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: gnu

Buddy, me house ain't that big. But the new TV is! Wow! I can SEE it from 13' away!

I even bought a new chair for my office today... assembled!... for $100 tax in. My back is getting better already. The replaced chair had pillows and towels on it at over 18 years old so I guess it served it's purpose, even tho I paid 40 bucks for it!


26 Feb 13 - 09:31 PM (#3484090)
Subject: RE: BS: gnu retires
From: ChanteyLass

Enjoy your new stuff!