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BS: classic dumb/funny quotes: action movies

06 Sep 13 - 04:45 PM (#3556664)
Subject: BS: classic dumb/funny quotes: action movies
From: Little Hawk

"You're the disease. I'm the cure." - Stallone in the movie "Cobra"

"Hasta la vista, Baby." - Schwarzenneger in "Terminator II"

Take it away, folks...

Maybe we could vote on which one is the best while we're at it.


06 Sep 13 - 09:29 PM (#3556725)
Subject: RE: BS: classic dumb/funny quotes: action movies
From: Midchuck

Not a movie, but my favorite quote from the entire Firefly TV series:


    Jayne: Don't much see the benefit in getting involved in strangers' troubles without a up-front price negotiated.
    Book: These people need assistance. The benefit wouldn't necessarily be for you.
    Jayne: That's what I'm sayin'.
    Zoe: No one's gonna force you to go, Jayne. As has been stated, this job is strictly speculative.
    Jayne: Good! Don't know these folks, don't much care to.
    Mal: They're whores.
    Jayne: I'm in.


Of course, you need to know the characters...

Peter


06 Sep 13 - 09:44 PM (#3556735)
Subject: RE: BS: classic dumb/funny quotes: action movies
From: Rapparee

"The name's Bond. James Bond."
          --All too many movies.


06 Sep 13 - 10:44 PM (#3556746)
Subject: RE: BS: classic dumb/funny quotes: action movies
From: Songwronger

"Shocking."

From a Bond movie where he tosses some appliance in the bathwater with a bad guy. Forget which movie. It was Connery.


06 Sep 13 - 10:49 PM (#3556747)
Subject: RE: BS: classic dumb/funny quotes: action movies
From: Songwronger

Wasn't there a classic quote from that migraine of a movie that Little Hawk was so enamoured of a while back? Made by Tommy something or other.

"Hello, bird." Was that it?


07 Sep 13 - 12:17 AM (#3556754)
Subject: RE: BS: classic dumb/funny quotes: action movies
From: Little Hawk

No. It's "Hello, Doggie." And then there's also, "YOU'RE TEARING ME APART, LISA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

But that was not an action movie. It's a melodrama.

It was made by Tommy Wiseau. The movie is "The Room". And it is, of course, a masterpiece. ;-)


07 Sep 13 - 02:44 AM (#3556765)
Subject: RE: BS: classic dumb/funny quotes: action movies
From: MGM·Lion

The Bond movies [see above 1044] specialise in those throwaway puns when someone has been wasted. Another example, re a man who had been impaled, "I think he got the point".

~M~


07 Sep 13 - 02:47 AM (#3556768)
Subject: RE: BS: classic dumb/funny quotes: action movies
From: MGM·Lion

The Magnificent Seven was full of them. I always liked Steve McQueen's delivery of "First time I ever rode shotgun on a hearse".

~M~


07 Sep 13 - 03:00 AM (#3556770)
Subject: RE: BS: classic dumb/funny quotes: action movies
From: MGM·Lion

Dan Duryea as notorious outlaw Whitey Kincaid, ironically accidentally caught in a shootout: "Make sure they write of my grave, "Here lies Whitey Kincaid, an innocent bystander'."

Ride Clear of Diablo [1954]


07 Sep 13 - 03:17 AM (#3556772)
Subject: RE: BS: classic dumb/funny quotes: action movies
From: Bert

What is needed is a kind of mp3 player thingy with buttons that you can press to get the appropriate quote.

"What an Idiot" from Harry Potter
or "This time without the Oops!" from Independence Day.


07 Sep 13 - 03:37 AM (#3556774)
Subject: RE: BS: classic dumb/funny quotes: action movies
From: GUEST,Guest from Sanity

From 'As Good as it Gets' Jack Nicholson to an overly talkative neighbor at his door, "Go sell crazy somewhere else, we're all filled up here!"

GfS


07 Sep 13 - 10:30 AM (#3556841)
Subject: RE: BS: classic dumb/funny quotes: action movies
From: Little Hawk

Okay, we'll take it beyond action movies...

Woody Allen in one of his films:

"Sex without love is an empty experience. But...as empty experiences go, it's one of the best."


07 Sep 13 - 01:28 PM (#3556874)
Subject: RE: BS: classic dumb/funny quotes: action movies
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp

Clint Eastwood has cornered the market on this stuff, if ya ask me.



"I know what you're thinkin'...'Did he fire 5 shots? Or 6?' Being that this is a .44 magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world, and can blow yer head clean off, you gotta ask yourself one thing: 'Do I feel lucky?' Well??? DO ya?...Punk?"

Perfect. Clint Eastwood makes my day. Only Philip Marlowe can equal Clint.

- Chongo


07 Sep 13 - 01:40 PM (#3556878)
Subject: RE: BS: classic dumb/funny quotes: action movies
From: Jack the Sailor

"Take your hands off me you damned dirty ape!"

Charlton Heston, Marky Mark, and any female of any species that Chongo has ever touched.


07 Sep 13 - 01:55 PM (#3556887)
Subject: RE: BS: classic dumb/funny quotes: action movies
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp

Yeah, only he didn't say "hands", Jack. He said "paws". Filthy paws!

"Getchyer filthy paws off me, you damned dirty ape!!!"

That made it doubly offensive, even though he was just talkin' to a Gorilla, not a Chimp... and that is why I let all the air out of his tires one time at a swanky party in Beverley Hills and then switched a glass of pee for his glass of apple juice. Far as I'm concerned, Heston was a loudmouth jerk with not a whole lotta actin' talent neither. Let's face it, the Red Sea is NEVER gonna part for a bozo like him.

- Chongo


07 Sep 13 - 02:11 PM (#3556898)
Subject: RE: BS: classic dumb/funny quotes: action movies
From: Jack the Sailor

When the women say it to you do they say "filthy paws" or "Four dirty hands"?


07 Sep 13 - 04:06 PM (#3556930)
Subject: RE: BS: classic dumb/funny quotes: action movies
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp

I could ask you the same thing...only you only got 2 hands. Yer feet are no good for much except fillin' yer shoes or kickin' the dog, cos yer just a poor dumb "homsap"*.

I feel for ya, buddy.

- Chongo

(* Homo Sapiens)


07 Sep 13 - 08:13 PM (#3556989)
Subject: RE: BS: classic dumb/funny quotes: action movies
From: GUEST,Bernie

The perennial western movie villain of the 60's,Strother Martin.....always the small,weasely agitator,waiting for his badman buddies to do the real dirty work.....forget what movie it was,but his line to his buddies in the lynching party"boys,what we have here is "failure to communicate".....brought the house down..must have been many people in the theatre that night familiar with the genre...


07 Sep 13 - 09:20 PM (#3557005)
Subject: RE: BS: classic dumb/funny quotes: action movies
From: frogprince

"boys,what we have here is "failure to communicate".....

Cool Hand Luke


07 Sep 13 - 09:47 PM (#3557011)
Subject: RE: BS: classic dumb/funny quotes: action movies
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp

Ya both left out one little important word that should be there: "a"

"What we have here is a failure to communicate."

But hey, I like the Woody Allen one where he's bein' bugged by the pontificatin' guy in the movie lineup behind him and says to Diane Keaton: "What I wouldn't give now for a large sack full of horse manure!"

And then...well, here's the scene:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sXJ8tKRlW3E


07 Sep 13 - 09:52 PM (#3557012)
Subject: RE: BS: classic dumb/funny quotes: action movies
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp

My apologies, by the way, that you gotta sit through that goddamn Area Symptom Control ad first, before seein' the rest of the video! If I had the obnoxious A-hole in that stinkin' ad here, I'd kick his ugly ass down the stairs, cos I've already seen that ad about 8500 times TOO MANY on Youtube! My advice is...NEVER buy their stinkin' products. Go to anyone else first.

- Chongo


08 Sep 13 - 07:36 AM (#3557108)
Subject: RE: BS: classic dumb/funny quotes: action movies
From: Dave Hanson

Elwood to Jake," you told the penguin you'd come and see her when you got out of the joint."

Jake to Elwood, " so I lied "

Elwood, " you can't lie to a nun "

Dave H


08 Sep 13 - 07:40 AM (#3557112)
Subject: RE: BS: classic dumb/funny quotes: action movies
From: Dave Hanson

Jeff Lebowski to his pal Walter, " one of these days you're gonna have to face it Walter, you're a goddam moron "

Dave H


10 Sep 13 - 11:31 AM (#3557814)
Subject: RE: BS: classic dumb/funny quotes: action movies
From: Little Hawk

Okay, here we go...best movie rant EVER...by Tom Cruise in Tropic Thunder, playing madman egomaniacal Hollywood studio boss, Les Grossman. Grossman's spectacular rant starts around the 1:50 mark, but the rest of the video is hilarious too.

Les Grossman goes postal!

Gotta hand it to Tom Cruise. He did a simply amazing job in this movie, portraying a character radically different in both behaviour and appearance from the characters we usually see him playing. And isn't "Les Grossman" simply the ultimate name for a maniacal tinsel town studio owner?


16 Sep 13 - 02:05 PM (#3559383)
Subject: RE: BS: classic dumb/funny quotes: action movies
From: MGM·Lion

Rick [Humphrey Bogart]: I came to Cash-ablanca to take the waters.

Le Capitaine Renault [Claude Raines]: Zere are no wat-eurs in Casablanca.

Rick: I wazh mish-informed!


Casablanca ~~ Michael Curtiz 1942


16 Sep 13 - 02:24 PM (#3559387)
Subject: RE: BS: classic dumb/funny quotes: action movies
From: MGM·Lion

By a train of thought, Capt Renault's instruction to his police officers, "Round up the usual suspects" occurred in that film. The cliché 'the usual suspects', not just for people but for such things as fashion garments, menu items, &c, & as the referential title of a film about identifications, suddenly became current about 50 years after the film's release ~~ a phenomenon I never understood. I asked Nigel Rees, editor of The Quote-Unquote Newsletter, if he could explain this strange phenomenon; but he confessed himself somewhat puzzled likewise, & could only come up with what he admitted was a somewhat ½❤ed explanation.

At risk of drift ~~ anyone any ideas about this?

~M~


16 Sep 13 - 03:01 PM (#3559396)
Subject: RE: BS: classic dumb/funny quotes: action movies
From: number 6

"Fucking cops!" by Kevin Spacey as Verbal Kint in The Usual Suspects.

biLL


16 Sep 13 - 03:11 PM (#3559399)
Subject: RE: BS: classic dumb/funny quotes: action movies
From: Little Hawk

Casablanca was one of the cleverest, wittiest films of all time. It's a masterpiece.


16 Sep 13 - 03:49 PM (#3559410)
Subject: RE: BS: classic dumb/funny quotes: action movies
From: number 6

"Silence when you're shouting at me!" by Peter Sellers as Doctor Fritz Fassbender in What's New Pussycat.

biLL


16 Sep 13 - 03:56 PM (#3559414)
Subject: RE: BS: classic dumb/funny quotes: action movies
From: GUEST,Bert

From Men in Black.

"Figures"
"Those terms are acceptable"
"When you grow up"
"Not much of a disguise"


16 Sep 13 - 05:35 PM (#3559431)
Subject: RE: BS: classic dumb/funny quotes: action movies
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp

Here's a whole cartload of dumbass stuff from Sylvester Stallone:

"Rest in pieces!"


18 Sep 13 - 05:25 PM (#3559666)
Subject: RE: BS: classic dumb/funny quotes: action movies
From: JohnInKansas

Back in Win95 days, Microsoft came out with a "sounds" package containing a bunch of "quotes" you could attach to Windows functions, so that instead of just "beeps" when something happened you got a wise saying.

A favorite in one office was from Jumpin' Jack Flash,:

"DON'T KNOCK MASTURBATION. IT'S SEX WITH SOMEONE I LOVE!"

Another highly rated one (source citation unnecessary): "He's Dead, Jim," along with the parody(?) "you get his tricorder, I'll take his wallet."

[Thread drift] - Another source is in "headlines," especially on the web. Today at MSNBC we have "Voices in head more common than thought," which I read as "even people who seldom have a thought have their voices that tell them what to do" - like those who start some of our threads here.

John


19 Sep 13 - 04:59 AM (#3559759)
Subject: RE: BS: classic dumb/funny quotes: action movies
From: Bugsy

After watching this movie several times I can catagorically say the the following is true.

SOUND OF MUSIC,

Mother Superior to Maria- "What is it Maria? What is it you Cunt Face."

If you don't believe me - watch the movie yourself.

And they gave it a "PG" Rating.

Cheers

Bugsy


19 Sep 13 - 07:33 AM (#3559788)
Subject: RE: BS: classic dumb/funny quotes: action movies
From: GUEST,kenny

The wrestler [?] "Rowdy" Roddy Piper in a terrible film called "They Live" - walks into a bank full of aliens masquerading as humans, and he's carrying 2 shotguns :

"I have come here to kick ass,and chew bubblegum.......and I'm all out of bubblegum"


19 Sep 13 - 07:15 PM (#3559914)
Subject: RE: BS: classic dumb/funny quotes: action movies
From: Celtaddict

"Now listen and listen tight, 'cause I'm only gonna tell ya the once."
~~John Wayne


19 Sep 13 - 07:31 PM (#3559916)
Subject: RE: BS: classic dumb/funny quotes: action movies
From: kendall

"We're going to need a bigger boat." Roy Schieder, Jaws.


20 Sep 13 - 10:49 AM (#3560066)
Subject: RE: BS: classic dumb/funny quotes: action movies
From: Dave the Gnome

Robin Hood Prince of thieves has Cosner saying 'Tonight we will dine with my father in Nottingham'. From Dover, where the scene is shot, to Nottingham is over 200 miles. About 2 weeks on foot?

Very silly but a more heroic reference to dining is in 300 - Spartan King Leonidas: Spartans! Ready your breakfast and eat hearty... For tonight, we dine in hell!

Classic stuff

:D tG


20 Sep 13 - 03:36 PM (#3560110)
Subject: RE: BS: classic dumb/funny quotes: action movies
From: GUEST

You're only supposed to blow the bloody doors off!


06 Oct 13 - 07:41 AM (#3564652)
Subject: RE: BS: classic dumb/funny quotes: action movies
From: MGM·Lion

Yul Brynner & Steve McQueen, recruiting their original Magnificent Seven, are directed to Charles Bronson [I think it was] grimly chopping his way thru a huge pile of logs.

Brynner: "I heard you might be looking for work."

Bronson: "Nah. I'm just doing this because I'm an eccentric millionaire."

.,,.

& a sort of non-quote from same film, as Brynner & McQueen are riding on the hearse in first scene mentioned above.

Brynner: "Where you come from?"

McQueen silently thumbs backward over his shoulder.

Brynner: "Where you going?"

McQueen silently points ahead.

~M~


07 Oct 13 - 06:46 AM (#3564879)
Subject: RE: BS: classic dumb/funny quotes: action movies
From: GUEST,Allen in Oz

" We don't need no stinking badges "

AD


26 Oct 13 - 01:59 PM (#3570297)
Subject: RE: BS: classic dumb/funny quotes: action movies
From: MGM·Lion

"Somehow, Toto, I don't think we're in Kansas any more."