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19 Nov 13 - 10:00 AM (#3577027) Subject: Christmas songs/monologues etc From: doncatterall Any ideas for items to slot into a Christmas concert between the usual carols and cheesy "White Christmas" type numbers (humorous/serious, traditional?contemporary). |
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19 Nov 13 - 11:28 AM (#3577052) Subject: Lyr Add: THE CAROL SINGERS (Hayes/Sterndale-Bennet From: GUEST,John from "Elsie`s Band" An absolute must. THE CAROL SINGERS Words by Charles Hayes, music by T.C. Sterndale-Bennett, ©1921. "In our village , Christmas time, I sez to several mates. "Look 'ee lads, I sez,sez I. What about some waits?" We gets a carol, learns it up and on one evenin' wintry. We muffles up an' sallies forth to try it on the gintry. "Good King Wenceslas look'd out", sings we with splendid power. Sev'ral neighbours look'd out too. To see what all the row were. We sings forte, sounded like a hundred. Even in the best bits 'ow we thundered. Bill, our base 'e 'urt 'is face, we thought that it were torn. But all agree there were none like we to 'ail the 'appy morn. Perkins took the treble line, a lovely voice 'es got. I were tenor, Bill were base an' Fred were all the lot. 'E wandered up an' down the scale but still 'e rather marred it. Becos 'e never know'd no words, an' so 'e la-la-la'd it. {"La-la-la-la-la- look'd out", the scene it was quite graphic. Such was our 'armonia it almost stopped the traffic. Then a grey mare ridden by a big toff Shied, bolted an' tossed 'im in the 'orse trough.}* Every verse got worse an' worse but though we all felt worn. Yet all agree there were none like we to 'ail the 'appy morn. Still we never got no cash which didn't seem quite just. See-in' we'd stood there for 'ours, singing fit to bust. The our p'liceman, Ole Bob Bates comes a a-scowling proper. "Good Old Bob", young Perkins sez, "At least we've got a Copper!" "Good King Wenceslas look'd out", we still keeps on recordin' Bob sez, "Yes. You look out too. It's seldom I've 'eard more din". Then a change came on the situation. Bob got nasty an' took us to the station. "Look 'ere Bates, we're Christmas waits", I sez to 'im with scorn. 'e sez with a sneer, "Well wait in 'ere an' greet the 'appy morn!!" * (My words for "Elsie's Band" since it is a repeat of verse 1) |
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19 Nov 13 - 02:20 PM (#3577103) Subject: RE: Christmas songs/monologues etc From: GUEST,saulgoldie Well, there is the story of the Christmas Orange as heard on NPR some years ago. Also on NPR is the Chuck Kramer piece about commercialism (what a concept!). I don't have my hands on either of them at the moment. What about Sol Cake as done by Peter, Paul, and Mary? And Hard Times? That always seems like a Winter seasonal song to me. Hey, didn't we do a thread (or more) about Christmas season songs and the like? First Christmas by the late, great Stan Rogers. Song for a Winter's Night by Gordon Lightfoot. And so on... Saul |
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19 Nov 13 - 03:34 PM (#3577128) Subject: RE: Christmas songs/monologues etc From: Leadfingers Tom Lehrer's Christmas Carol is as good as any other ¬ |
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19 Nov 13 - 04:02 PM (#3577135) Subject: RE: Christmas songs/monologues etc From: GUEST,Guest , Oldtimer Two all time great Yultide favourites in our village are thus , "Olive , the other Reindeer" & "Decorate your balls with Holly " |
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19 Nov 13 - 05:51 PM (#3577153) Subject: RE: Christmas songs/monologues etc From: Mo the caller 'Twas the Night Before Christmas lends itself to locally topical parodies. |
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19 Nov 13 - 06:29 PM (#3577168) Subject: RE: Christmas songs/monologues etc From: GUEST,TheMadBlonde AAarrgh, lost the post I just wrote. OK again: Dickens: "I will honour Christmas" or "I have always thought of Christmas" monologues from _Christmas Carol_ OR the wassail scene from _Pickwick Papers_. "A Catch By the Hearth" poem. "The Oxen" by Thomas Hardy the legend of how Silent Night was composed the Christmas Eve poem from Marmion by Sir Walter Scott LOTS of poems out there. Good luck! |
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19 Nov 13 - 09:23 PM (#3577207) Subject: Lyr Add: MISS FOGARTY'S CHRISTMAS CAKE (Horn) From: GUEST,Arkie Plenty of performances of this on youtube. MISS FOGARTY'S CHRISTMAS CAKE Words and music by C. Frank Horn, ©1886. 1. As I sat in my window last evening, The letterman brought it to me A little gilt-edged invitation sayin' "Gilhooley come over to tea" I knew that the Fogarties sent it. So I went just for old friendships sake. The first thing they gave me to tackle Was a slice of Miss Fogarty's cake. CHORUS: There were plums and prunes and cherries, There were citrons and raisins and cinnamon, too There was nutmeg, cloves and berries And a crust that was nailed on with glue There were caraway seeds in abundance Such that work up a fine stomach ache That could kill a man twice after eating a slice Of Miss Fogarty's Christmas cake. 2. Miss Mulligan wanted to try it, But really it wasn't no use For we worked in it over an hour And we couldn't get none of it loose Till Murphy came in with a hatchet And Kelly came in with a saw That cake was enough be the powers above For to paralyze any man's jaws 3. Miss Fogarty proud as a peacock, Kept smiling and blinking away Till she flipped over Flanagans brogans And she spilt the homebrew in her tea Aye Gilhooley she says you're not eatin, Try a little bit more for me sake And no Miss Fogarty says I, For I've had quite enough of your cake 4. Maloney was took with the colic, O'Donald's a pain in his head McNaughton lay down on the sofa, And he swore that he wished he was dead Miss Bailey went into hysterics And there she did wriggle and shake And everyone swore they were poisoned Just from eating Miss Fogarty's cake |
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19 Nov 13 - 09:56 PM (#3577211) Subject: Lyr Add: THE BOY WHO LAUGHED AT SANTA CLAUS (Nash) From: GUEST,.gargoyle THE BOY WHO LAUGHED AT SANTA CLAUSby Ogden NashLadies` Home Journal, 1936 In Baltimore there lived a boy. He wasn't anybody's joy. Although his name was Jabez Dawes, His character was full of flaws. In school he never led his classes, He hid old ladies' reading glasses, His mouth was open when he chewed, And elbows to the table glued. He stole the milk of hungry kittens, And walked through doors marked NO ADMITTANCE. He said he acted thus because There wasn't any Santa Claus. Another trick that tickled Jabez Was crying 'Boo' at little babies. He brushed his teeth, they said in town, Sideways instead of up and down. Yet people pardoned every sin, And viewed his antics with a grin, Till they were told by Jabez Dawes, 'There isn't any Santa Claus!' Deploring how he did behave, His parents swiftly sought their grave. They hurried through the portals pearly, And Jabez left the funeral early. Like whooping cough, from child to child, He sped to spread the rumor wild: 'Sure as my name is Jabez Dawes There isn't any Santa Claus!' Slunk like a weasel of a marten Through nursery and kindergarten, Whispering low to every tot, 'There isn't any, no there's not!' The children wept all Christmas eve And Jabez chortled up his sleeve. No infant dared hang up his stocking For fear of Jabez' ribald mocking. He sprawled on his untidy bed, Fresh malice dancing in his head, When presently with scalp-a-tingling, Jabez heard a distant jingling; He heard the crunch of sleigh and hoof Crisply alighting on the roof. What good to rise and bar the door? A shower of soot was on the floor. What was beheld by Jabez Dawes? The fireplace full of Santa Claus! Then Jabez fell upon his knees With cries of 'Don't,' and 'Pretty Please.' He howled, 'I don't know where you read it, But anyhow, I never said it!' 'Jabez' replied the angry saint, 'It isn't I, it's you that ain't. Although there is a Santa Claus, There isn't any Jabez Dawes!' Said Jabez then with impudent vim, 'Oh, yes there is, and I am him! Your magic don't scare me, it doesn't' And suddenly he found he wasn't! From grimy feet to grimy locks, Jabez became a Jack-in-the-box, An ugly toy with springs unsprung, Forever sticking out his tongue. The neighbors heard his mournful squeal; They searched for him, but not with zeal. No trace was found of Jabez Dawes, Which led to thunderous applause, And people drank a loving cup And went and hung their stockings up. All you who sneer at Santa Claus, Beware the fate of Jabez Dawes, The saucy boy who mocked the saint. Donner and Blitzen licked off his paint. Sincerely, Gargoyle |
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20 Nov 13 - 12:19 AM (#3577232) Subject: RE: Christmas songs/monologues etc From: Lonesome EJ Steve Earle's Nothing but a Child is a terrific modern Christmas song. |
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20 Nov 13 - 11:23 AM (#3577404) Subject: RE: Christmas songs/monologues etc From: GUEST,jim bainbridge There are some corkers on the old Greentrax CD- 'Bah Humbug' such as Cyril Tawney's 'There are no lights on our Christmas Tree', 'The man that slits the turkeys' throats' and 'Santa Bloody Claus' for a start. Also the version of 'Christmas day in the Cookhouse' from 'Oh what a lovely war' (Eenglish carols is very beautiful Tommy) or the classic 'Stop the Cavalry'- yes we all know it and it's a great tune but so are the words! |
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20 Nov 13 - 11:37 AM (#3577408) Subject: RE: Christmas songs/monologues etc From: GUEST,TheMadBlonde I was looking for a favourite short poem & came across this rather generic website, but it has a bunch of nice quotes that could make good filler, or be expanded. I'm assuming you don't want JUST facetious pieces? http://classiclit.about.com/od/christmasliteratur1/a/aa_christquote.htm "Sing hey! Sing hey! for Christmas Day! Twine mistletoe and holly. For friendship glows (I've heard "grows" also)in winter snows And so let's all be jolly!" Anonymous |
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20 Nov 13 - 04:48 PM (#3577523) Subject: RE: Christmas songs/monologues etc From: GUEST,Eliza George R Sims wrote several heart-rending monologues, some of which are set in the Christmas season, or deep wintertime. 'Christmas Day in the Workhouse' was written by him. They'll make you thoroughly miserable though; in fact his collection of them is entitled 'Prepare To Shed Them Now', and you will. Not very cheery! |
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20 Nov 13 - 10:01 PM (#3577584) Subject: RE: Christmas songs/monologues etc From: Crowhugger There are various versions of the 12 Letters of Christmas (that's what I call it, the actual title seems to vary a bit making it hard to search). Here is one (click me)... And another one (click me)... The second uses more restrained language, suitable for a family audience. To search, I found the best combo of required words to be: letters christmas agnes "must insist" sanitarium The series of letters works well as a thread through the whole concert, read in clusters of 2-3, or they can be read all at once during a musicians' break. |
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21 Nov 13 - 12:45 AM (#3577600) Subject: RE: Christmas songs/monologues etc From: GUEST I think Lindisfarne did a christmas song " When winter comes howling through" |
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21 Nov 13 - 01:19 AM (#3577603) Subject: RE: Christmas songs/monologues etc From: GUEST To search, I found the best combo of required words to be You could of course just look on this site... http://mudcat.org/@displaysong.cfm?SongID=7083 |
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21 Nov 13 - 04:21 AM (#3577631) Subject: RE: Christmas songs/monologues etc From: IanC How about Michael Rosen's "Christmas Eve, Christmas Day / Don't tell mum I'm running away"? :-) |
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21 Nov 13 - 04:55 PM (#3577836) Subject: RE: Christmas songs/monologues etc From: GUEST,Arkie Finally got around to these two: The net is so slow, I skipped the links. There Was a Pig Went out to Dig Dame Get up and Bake your Pies |
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21 Nov 13 - 06:01 PM (#3577855) Subject: RE: Christmas songs/monologues etc From: GUEST,BenHir There's always "Old Sam's Christmas Pudding" monologue by Marriot Edgar, recited by Stanley Holloway and published in "The Stanley Holloway Monologues" (ed Michael Marshall; pub Elm Tree Books). |
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22 Nov 13 - 04:05 AM (#3577944) Subject: Lyr Add: THE MAN THAT SLITS THE TURKEY'S THROAT AT From: Mo the caller The man that slits the turkeys throats THE MAN THAT SLITS THE TURKEY'S THROAT AT CHRISTMAS by Robin Laing INTRO: In the distance church bells chime, Soon it will be Christmas time, On the fire there burns a Yule tide log, Carollers are singing too, Noses red and fingers blue, Sounds of children coughing in the fog, But there's one man who'll be working, When you're tucked up in your bed, For he has got, a seasonal job, His clothes are always red, CHORUS: I'm the man that slits the turkey's throats at Christmas. I'm the man that pulls their innards inside out, I gather up the giblets and wrap them in cellophane, Then just because it's Christmas I shove 'em back in again, I secure their little ankles with elastic Then I mop up all the slime with bits of rag, I'm sure that it would please them, To know before I freeze 'em, I pop 'em into a little plastic bag, When autumn leaves have fallen and winter winds do blow, I visit all my poultry, shouting, "Five more weeks to go", I send each one a Christmas card - it always is a funny yin, Portraying thyme and parsley too, rosemary, sage and onion, But I'm a kindly master, compassionate and dutiful, And it ruffles up their feathers When I tell them that they're "Bootiful" Some people say I'm cruel, some say I'm insane, But methods I've adopted are really quit humane, I kill them, draw them, pluck them - it's the best way I have found, Unless I feel vindictive when I swop the system round, With my hand stuck up a turkey it's not a pretty sight, But they die with smiles upon their beaks, To tell me it's all right One day this little turkey cock with teardrops in his eyes, Whispered to me "Please sir, I don't want to die" I said "Come here my chickadee - you don't look very chuffed, Don't you know it's Christmas time so turkeys can get stuffed, But you have really touched me and though we still must part, There's going to be a place for you, Right here next to my heart |
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22 Nov 13 - 04:15 AM (#3577948) Subject: RE: Christmas songs/monologues etc From: Tattie Bogle Several from the Kipper Family (or Sid Kipper ) which you can find in a long thread of their songs, e.g The Death or Glory Wassail, and Arrest these Merry Gentlemen. And I'd second Jim Bainbridge on the Bah Humbug CD, anything off it, worth buying the CD! The Wonderful Sucking Pig, as sung by Craig Morgan and Robson. (RIP Sarah). |