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23 Aug 14 - 09:40 AM (#3653247) Subject: BS: Obit Dharmabums Daughter From: GUEST,Dharmabum Although I don't check into Mudcat as often as I used to, I felt it appropriate to post for members that have remained & those, like me, that check in from time to time. It is with a great deal of sadness that I report the passing of my daughter, Shalisa Rose Horvath, 3/22/79 -8/21/14. I had first shared on Mudcat,the details of Shalisa's dilemma a few years ago. Both she & I received an incredible amount of love & support from the mudcat family. For that I am eternally grateful. Thank you all. These past five years have been quite a bumpy ride, to say the least. From misdiagnoses, to no diagnoses & finally a terminal diagnoses of a rare genetic disorder of Metachromatic Leukodystrophy (MLD). I cared for Shalisa for as long as I was able & she spent the last year in a nursing home, where, because of her young age & affable disposition, the staff went the extra mile in caring for her. We take comfort in that she passed quietly, peacefully, & painlessly. Next spring, my family & I will gather at my cabin, Shalisa's favorite place,& plant a tree with some of her ashes. Shalisa will always be remembered for the artist, musician, & kind soul that she was. Ron. |
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23 Aug 14 - 09:52 AM (#3653248) Subject: RE: BS: Obit Dharmabums Daughter From: Jeri Ron, I'm so sorry. |
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23 Aug 14 - 10:03 AM (#3653249) Subject: RE: BS: Obit Dharmabums Daughter From: gnu Oh dear. My sincerest condolences to all. |
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23 Aug 14 - 10:04 AM (#3653250) Subject: RE: BS: Obit Dharmabums Daughter From: bobad My condolences to you and and to all who knew and loved your daughter Shalisa. |
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23 Aug 14 - 10:26 AM (#3653257) Subject: RE: BS: Obit Dharmabums Daughter From: Bill D Ron... although we met only the one time, at Susan's, I felt the kindness & gentleness of your life. I'm glad Shalisa had you to help her through her hard times. May memories of the good times sustain you. |
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23 Aug 14 - 10:33 AM (#3653260) Subject: RE: BS: Obit Dharmabums Daughter From: maeve You've led a loving life with your dear Shalisa. Thank you for letting us know. Maeve |
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23 Aug 14 - 10:43 AM (#3653263) Subject: RE: BS: Obit Dharmabums Daughter From: GUEST Ron, my tear ducts still work, buddy. Sincere condolences. Bruce M |
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23 Aug 14 - 11:15 AM (#3653270) Subject: RE: BS: Obit Dharmabums Daughter From: Sandra in Sydney condolences & good wishes to your family sandra |
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23 Aug 14 - 12:00 PM (#3653286) Subject: RE: BS: Obit Dharmabums Daughter From: Mrrzy Thank you for the sad news, I will think of her and of you. |
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23 Aug 14 - 12:33 PM (#3653295) Subject: RE: BS: Obit Dharmabums Daughter From: Janie Your love and care for her was palpable in what you shared here of the journey you and she shared these past several years. I hope there is some comfort for your broken heart that she passed gently. Holding you and all who loved Shalisa in my heart and mind. Janie |
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23 Aug 14 - 12:42 PM (#3653298) Subject: RE: BS: Obit Dharmabums Daughter From: ChanteyLass Oh, I am so sorry. My heart goes out to you and all who loved your daughter. |
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23 Aug 14 - 12:42 PM (#3653299) Subject: RE: BS: Obit Dharmabums Daughter From: GUEST,gillymor So sorry for your loss. Please take good care of each other. Gil |
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23 Aug 14 - 01:33 PM (#3653310) Subject: RE: Obit Dharmabums Daughter From: Stilly River Sage It seems some of the worst pain in the world, for a parent to outlive a child. My heart breaks for you. Maggie |
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23 Aug 14 - 02:19 PM (#3653324) Subject: RE: Obit Dharmabums Daughter From: fat B****rd Please accept my condolences and very best regards. Charlie |
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23 Aug 14 - 06:17 PM (#3653380) Subject: RE: Obit Dharmabums Daughter From: JennieG So sorry to hear this......wishing you peace in your loss. Jennie |
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23 Aug 14 - 09:53 PM (#3653399) Subject: RE: Obit Dharmabums Daughter From: bbc Ron, you know that my thoughts & deepest sympathies are with you & your family. You have fought the good fight & Shalisa is, now, at rest. I hope, in time, that will bring some comfort. Best, always, Barbara |
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23 Aug 14 - 10:28 PM (#3653405) Subject: RE: Obit Dharmabums Daughter From: wysiwyg Love you my brother. I cherish especially that visit with her at the cabin when I wore the post-it on my forehead so she could stop worrying that she could not remember my name. It was "so Shalisa" that she responded by slapping one on herself, too, while she laughed and laughed at how silly I looked. She was a dear, sweet, brilliant, and gorgeous woman with a music gift not even a catastrophic neurological condition could wipe out. But of course she was her father's daughter. And HE took better care of her than he can ever know. She is lifted up in prayer at all services this week, and in our private prayers for somectime to come, as are you. ♥ ~Sis |
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23 Aug 14 - 10:52 PM (#3653408) Subject: RE: Obit Dharmabums Daughter From: GUEST,Dharmabum Thank you all for the comforting thoughts. I suppose I'm experiencing the appropriate emotions at this time; Grief, sorrow,&loss, shrouded in a vale of numbness. Ron. |
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24 Aug 14 - 11:09 AM (#3653509) Subject: RE: Obit Dharmabums Daughter From: wysiwyg Ron, That numbness is how you get through the next few days, and until you reach the place where you can let it all come up. You'll want some extra vitamins B and C then, and a lot of good water on hand. ♥ |
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24 Aug 14 - 09:31 PM (#3653709) Subject: RE: Obit Dharmabums Daughter From: frogprince There are others here who have walked these same steps of the valley; I can only say that I realize that this has to be profoundly painful. Wishing you and all the family strength and peace. Dean |
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25 Aug 14 - 01:15 AM (#3653738) Subject: RE: Obit Dharmabums Daughter From: Lonesome EJ Sorry to hear Dharmabum. May you take some comfort in memories of her. |
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25 Aug 14 - 10:36 PM (#3654068) Subject: RE: Obit Dharmabums Daughter From: GUEST,Maryrrf (no cookie) I don't post much on Mudcat anymore, but do check in sometimes. I'm so sorry.RIP Shalisa. |
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26 Aug 14 - 12:37 AM (#3654096) Subject: RE: Obit Dharmabums Daughter From: olddude I am sorry to hear this news my prayers to you and your family |
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26 Aug 14 - 06:42 AM (#3654187) Subject: RE: Obit Dharmabums Daughter 2014 From: VirginiaTam So sorry for your loss Dharmabum. I too have sort of fallen away from mudcat and came back to the memoriam thread for my daughter today, only to learn of your recent loss. Hope you can call up the lovely memories at will and when they are most needed. |
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26 Aug 14 - 07:37 AM (#3654202) Subject: RE: Obit Dharmabums Daughter 2014 From: jacqui.c So sorry to hear this Ron. Even when a death is expected it is stil an immense loss. I'm glad that Shalisa had such loving care from those around her in her last few years. Take care of yourself now. |
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26 Aug 14 - 08:10 AM (#3654208) Subject: RE: Obit Dharmabums Daughter 2014 From: MMario Ron - my sincere condolences. |
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26 Aug 14 - 08:29 AM (#3654217) Subject: RE: Obit Dharmabums Daughter 2014 From: GUEST Thank you all for the support. At present,life feels much like waking up the morning after a big storm. Granted, this storm lasted five years, but we're busy picking up the pieces & accessing the damage. In time, the downed trees will be cleared, the broken windows repaired, & the roof shingles replaced. In time, the jagged edges of our loss will wear down & cut less deeply. I'm also reminded lately of a few of the things I've gained throughout these past few years. A new level of respect for those that take on the role of caregiver. I've met so many kind & compassionate people in the nursing home staff. Let's face it, Changing soiled diapers is not a financially lucrative career. It's probably one of the most thankless jobs that deserves the deepest respect. I've also gained the deepest empathy for those parents of terminally ill children. At least I've got 30 years of good memories with Shalisa. Many parents are denied that privilege. Ron. |
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26 Aug 14 - 11:01 AM (#3654261) Subject: RE: Obit Dharmabums Daughter 2014 From: GUEST,Kim C I'm so sorry. :-( |
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26 Aug 14 - 11:52 AM (#3654287) Subject: RE: Obit Dharmabums Daughter 2014 From: ClaireBear I'm at a loss for words. So sorry, Ron. |
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06 Sep 14 - 06:58 PM (#3657939) Subject: RE: Obit Dharmabums Daughter 2014 From: wysiwyg Folks, please especially hold Shalisa's family in your thoughts and songs tomorrow. There will be a gathering of friends and family Sunday, Sept. 14 at 11 AM, at a beautiful park/recreation area in NJ. ~S~ |
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06 Sep 14 - 08:13 PM (#3657955) Subject: RE: Obit Dharmabums Daughter 2014 From: Bill D Will note the time and pause and think of them..... |
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06 Sep 14 - 09:34 PM (#3657978) Subject: RE: Obit Dharmabums Daughter 2014 From: bbc Will be there, in spirit! Best to all who love Shalisa, Barbara |
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06 Sep 14 - 10:08 PM (#3657983) Subject: RE: Obit Dharmabums Daughter 2014 From: GUEST,MTed We haven't been in touch in a long time, Ron, but I've thought about you. I know how hard this has been for you and your family, and how much it has required from you. I am holding you all, and Shalisa, in the light. |
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07 Sep 14 - 06:16 AM (#3658049) Subject: RE: Obit Dharmabums Daughter 2014 From: Janie Thanks for letting us know, Susan. Will do as Bill D. |
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07 Sep 14 - 10:52 AM (#3658129) Subject: RE: Obit Dharmabums Daughter 2014 From: Bill D Almost 11 AM... sitting down in a quiet place to 'be there'... |
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07 Sep 14 - 11:28 AM (#3658139) Subject: RE: Obit Dharmabums Daughter 2014 From: ChanteyLass A little past 11 here, but my thoughts are with you now. |
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07 Sep 14 - 04:12 PM (#3658202) Subject: RE: Obit: Dharmabums Daughter 2014 From: Bonnie Shaljean Very very sad to hear this. Thinking of you, and VT too. x x x |
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13 Sep 14 - 10:21 PM (#3660022) Subject: RE: Obit: Dharmabums Daughter 2014 From: wysiwyg Well folks I screwed up-- with my MIL here I zoomed a week ahead in my mind. Shalisa's memorial is TOMORROW Sept. 14, at 11. I am sure your support was felt last week, so let's go again! ~Susan |
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13 Sep 14 - 11:45 PM (#3660029) Subject: RE: Obit: Dharmabums Daughter 2014 From: Bill D Never hurts to do good things twice.... |
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14 Sep 14 - 06:20 PM (#3660248) Subject: RE: Obit: Dharmabums Daughter 2014 From: ChanteyLass I'm seeing this too late but sending love now. |
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14 Sep 14 - 11:51 PM (#3660292) Subject: RE: Obit: Dharmabums Daughter 2014 From: Janie What ChanteyLass said.... |
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15 Sep 14 - 07:47 AM (#3660364) Subject: RE: Obit: Dharmabums Daughter 2014 From: GUEST,Sapper at work Heyup! I've only just picked up on this one and pray that you are all coping with your loss. At the moment there is a bloody big Shalisa shaped hole in your lives with some VERY rough, raw and painful edges. Eventually the hole will shrink as you pick up the pieces and life carries on and the edges will heal so that it will become less painful to touch them as you remember her. But it will always be there to remind you of the love you and your daughter once shared. |
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15 Sep 14 - 11:32 AM (#3660475) Subject: RE: Obit: Dharmabums Daughter 2014 From: GUEST,Dharmabum Thank you all. We had perfect weather for Shalisa's sendoff. Sunny, in the low 70's. We decided to do a very informal potluck affair held in a quiet wooded area of a local state park. We had good food, deserts, poetry, music, singing & children playing. Reconnected with friends & family I hadn't seen in quite some time. It was exactly the kind of party that Shalisa would've thrown. When I take into consideration the level of respect & love that these folks had for my daughter, I can only conclude that I must've done something right in raising her. I miss my daughter, my friend, my music partner. Here's a line from one of the songs that we played together; Do not worry for my comfort, do not sorrow for me so, All your diamond tears will rise up & adorn the sky beside me when I go. DB. |
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15 Sep 14 - 12:04 PM (#3660487) Subject: RE: Obit: Dharmabums Daughter 2014 From: wysiwyg <3 ~S~ |
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25 Jul 15 - 11:06 AM (#3726036) Subject: RE: Obit: Dharmabums Daughter 2014 From: wysiwyg Today at the cabin she loved, friends and family are gathering to share memories and plant a tree in Shalisa's honor. My little memory is of a graceful and gracious young woman her proud papa brought to our house, sometime in between the several Mudagathers we hosted, when our brother-in-spirit made one of his periodic stopovers on the way to the cabin. Shalisa had only been here once or twice-- my own memory is foggy-- but I remember more than anything else the loveliness she exuded musically and personally. And the bag of flutes she carried. So when we visited them at the cabin the first time I saw her after her illness began, I enthusiastically remembered her and assured her we had indeed met, tho seldom and long ago. She welcomed us and acted as gracious hostess. She would ask me my name, and after several times seeing how it embarrassed her to have to ask, I grabbed a post-it note, wrote my name large, and slapped it onto my forehead. Each time she'd look my way she'd use my name (appropriately) and laugh all over again at the wacky way I'd chosen to wear my name tag. Now all these years later, whenever I go to a stuffy workshop and they hand out the sticky name tags. .... I barely resist slapping it right there, mone or others'.... I think word is out though. More and more often, they're the reusable kind with pins or hanging cords. Still.... if they'd ever met her, they'd be SO down with that. (We're hosting a song circle next month..... ) ;-) Shalisa taught me that loving doesn't depend on memories. She taught me that keeping someone's spirit alive means loving who and what they loved, and passing that forward. ~Susan |
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25 Jul 15 - 12:03 PM (#3726043) Subject: RE: Obit: Dharmabums Daughter 2014 From: Mrrzy So sorry, what a lovely goodbye. |
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25 Jul 15 - 12:06 PM (#3726044) Subject: RE: Obit: Dharmabums Daughter 2014 From: Sandra in Sydney thanks for sharing your memories, Susan |